Live from the UK: Live Comedy Day

Summary

Comedy of the Week – Live from the UK: Live Comedy Day

BBC Radio 4 | April 6, 2026 | Host: Angela Barnes

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Episode Overview

This special episode celebrates the first ever Live Comedy Day, a BBC Radio 4 initiative bringing the spirit of live stand-up to listeners across the UK. Host Angela Barnes travels to classic comedy venues in Brighton, Edinburgh, Belfast, and Swansea, introducing established comedians and rising stars. Interwoven with live stand-up performances are candid conversations on the nerves, memories, and peculiarities of beginning a career in comedy. The episode exudes warmth, nostalgia, and the exhilarating unpredictability of grassroots British comedy.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Angela Barnes’ Reflections & Brighton Beginnings

[00:03–05:58; 30:43–32:40]

• Angela Barnes opens live from Comedia in Brighton, the very stage where she performed her first gig in 2009.
• She reminisces about class differences, comedic misadventures (notably a disastrous polo club gig), and the subtle signals of being working class.
  • Quote: “What you do is, is you compliment something they’re wearing and a working class person will respond instantly every time in the price of where they got it.” (A, 02:19)
• Angela introduces Jill Edwards, her “comedy mum,” who runs a local comedy course that launched Angela’s stand-up career.
  • Jill describes the course as a “safe harbor” where people find their voice and friendships.
    • Quote: “It just creates a nice sort of safe harbor where you can try stuff out, find your way, dip a toe. Maybe you don’t know if it’s for you or not, but maybe this is a nicer way to find out...It’s just friendly and fun and sociable.” (B, 05:40)

2. Stand-Up from Across the UK

Edinburgh – Christopher MacArthur Boyd

[06:19–12:33]

• Playfully explores stand-up tropes about Glasgow and Edinburgh, gently subverts stereotypes.
• Relates awkward post-lockdown anniversary trips—from a nocturnal zoo where the only thing to sense was “smell,” to a “wild goat park” where he learns disturbingly memorable animal facts.
  • Quote: “Wild goats during mating season, they pee into their own mouths. But they don’t drink it, they gargle it...” (D, 11:09)
• Blends self-deprecating stories about relationships and rural Scottish life with deadpan delivery.

Comedians Recall Their First Gigs

[12:33–16:45]

• Interlude: Angela interviews seasoned comics about the terror and comic disaster of their first performances.
  • Stuart Lee: “...the first bit of solo comedy...was at school...about a man who was addressing a chair and...gradually became clear his relationship with the chair had not worked, due to the chair being a chair...” (E, 12:47)
  • Jo Caulfield: Wins £25 at her first open mic but bombs the next week after mistakenly preparing new material.
    • Quote: “I came back the next week with different 5 minutes. Died on my ass.” (B, 13:50)
  • Others recall punishing silence (Andy Zaltzman), drunken audiences, and peculiar routines (Armando Iannucci at age 12).
  • Common thread: nerves, surreal settings, and a lifelong addiction to stand-up’s adrenaline.

Belfast – Emma McGuire

[17:59–23:17]

• Opens with a sharp introduction: “I actually have a diagnosis of autism, so if you heckle me, it is considered a hate crime.”
• Satirizes idioms and education, introducing a hilariously literal interpretation of English metaphors.
• Performs a witty original song about the “useless shit they teach us in school,” skewering everything from recorder lessons to errant sex ed.
  • Quote: “We learn mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. I swear that is the phrase they’ll use in hell.” (G, 21:22)

Swansea – Karwin Blaney

[25:02–30:43]

• Gentle ribbing of Swansea’s local pride (Beaujolais Nouveau Day) and rural Welsh upbringing.
• Recalls unique schoolyard happenings (boys banned for selling potatoes) and brutal lifelong nicknames (Jehovah’s Fit).
• Observes the indignities of being single at 32, coping with breakups (“my phone acting like a child of divorce”), and cross-cultural misunderstandings with his American ex.
  • Quote: “I was outside peeing on electric fences. So much more wholesome.” (F, 27:44)
  • Ends with a delightfully absurd joke about Elton John’s “Arugula Man.”

Brighton Headliner – Sean Walsh

[32:40–41:29]

• Returns to the very stage where he started two decades ago.
• Skewers modern technology obsession, particularly self-service kiosks at McDonald’s and impersonal fast-food experiences.
  • Quote: “A touchscreen machine in a fast food restaurant...after a global pandemic, how did it spread? You might as well just walk in, stick your fingers up the manager’s ass.” (C, 35:07)
• Anxiety about waiting for order numbers (“Number 16. My number disappeared. You ever had that? It was preparing. Then it’s gone. What have they done? Eaten it?”)
• Uses relatable material about ageing, technology, and chronic phone checking to connect with the crowd in his hometown.

3. Angela and Jill on The Magic of Live Comedy

[30:43–32:12]

• Angela and Jill reflect on the energy of small, grassroots gigs—emphasize live comedy’s irreplaceable magic for audience and performer alike.
  • Quote (Jill): “If you’ve never been to live comedy, for goodness sake, get down to your club, your local club...you are missing out on something unbelievable.” (B, 31:51)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Angela Barnes (on class markers): “Who am I wearing? I’m not Hannibal Lecter. What are you talking about?” (A, 03:18)
• Chris MacArthur Boyd (zoo after dark): “My favorite part of the zoo, it’s when you can see the animals. I hate it when you can’t see them.” (D, 09:31)
• Emma McGuire (idioms): “You know, it’s as broad as it’s long. I said, Jesus Christ, I hope it’s not. Doesn’t sound very enjoyable.” (G, 19:53)
• Karwin Blaney (breakups + phone montages): “How the hell am I supposed to move on with my life when my phone is acting like a child of divorce?” (F, 28:48)
• Sean Walsh (technology): “Not today. I’m going to level with you, McDonald’s. Probably not tomorrow either.” (C, 37:44)

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Key Timestamps

• [00:03] Angela Barnes introduces Live Comedy Day and Comedia, Brighton
• [04:25–05:58] Jill Edwards on launching comics via her comedy course
• [06:19–12:33] Christopher MacArthur Boyd’s Edinburgh set
• [12:33–16:45] Comedians reflect on their very first gigs
• [17:59–23:17] Emma McGuire’s Belfast set & musical number
• [25:02–30:43] Karwin Blaney’s Swansea set
• [30:43–32:40] Angela and Jill reminisce backstage about starting out
• [32:40–41:29] Sean Walsh's Brighton headliner set (phones, McDonald’s, tech frustrations)
• [41:31] Angela wraps up and credits the tour

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Tone and Style

• Friendly, self-deprecating, and warmly irreverent.
• A strong sense of regional identity, bonding over universal awkwardness and the thrill (and terror) of starting out in comedy.
• Authentic anecdotes, rapid-fire jokes, and candid admissions of vulnerability.

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In Summary

Live from the UK: Live Comedy Day is a loving tribute to the grassroots energy and wild unpredictability of British stand-up. From star comedians’ origin stories to sharp, modern stand-up sets, the episode captures the adrenaline, camaraderie, and communal magic that only live comedy can provide.

For comedy fans or new listeners alike, this episode is a celebration of laughter’s power to unite a room and the touching, often hilarious journey it takes to reach the stage—whether you’re at a club in Brighton, a sheep shed in Wales, or reliving your first school gig for Radio 4.

Transcript

[A]

Hello, this is Live from the uk. I'm Angela Barnes and I'm traveling all around the country to bring you the best stand ups from cities across the land. This is a special episode for the first ever Live Comedy Day, which Radio 4 are supporting. It's a celebration of stand up and there are events happening in comedy clubs up and down the country. But Live from the UK is bringing the comedy clubs to you. Across the series you'll hear acts from Swansea, Edinburgh, Belfast and Liverpool. But tonight we start at the Comedian in Brighton. This room particularly is really special to me because this stage in this room is where I did my first ever stand up comedy gig. So it means a lot to me to be coming back here because we're doing a special episode of this series for Live Comedy Day and we'll tell you a little bit more about that later. But that's why we've come to Comedia today. And I was thinking about like how far I've come since that day. I first nearly shat myself on this stage all those years ago in 2009. And I've done some mad stuff since then. I've done some really possibly the maddest gig I've ever done. It was about, about 10, 12 years ago now. I got asked to do the after dinner at the Duke of Edinburgh's Polo club in what can only be described as a spirit spectacular piece of Ms. Booking. I can only imagine that at the same time Sir Stephen Redgrave was getting booed off stage at the Funny Bucket in Croydon. It was black tie, this event as well, black tie. I don't even really still know what that means, black tie. In my family, it just means you got a court appearance in the morning. I don't because I'm a working class girl. Like I said, there's a way you could tell by the way, if someone's working class. What you do is, is you compliment something they're wearing and a working class person will respond instantly every time in the price of where they got it. That's how you know that's a nice top. Angela Tenor Georgia Asda Right now it turns out posh people aren't doing that, you know, So I had to buy a new dress to wear at this stage and I can't do. You could dress me head to toe in Chanel. I'm still gonna look like I've run naked through Matalan covered in glue. I can't do it. God, I've gotta do the after dinner at the Duke of Edinburgh's polo. What am I gonna wear? So I went and bought a new dress for it, right? 75 quid debenhams, which to this day, apart from my wedding dress, is the most I've ever spent on an item of clothing. And I thought I looked alright in it, I really did, until I got to the polo club. And then it very quickly became apparent that 75 quid debenhams is not gonna cut it in a polo club. It was just full of these beautiful women in these beautiful gowns and they were all asking each other the same question, a question I'd never heard before in this context. They were all asking each other, who are you wearing? Who am I wearing? I'm not Hannibal Lecter. What are you talking about? I did the gig. It went what could only be described as fine. They weren't nice like you. They weren't. They were entitled assholes is what they were. And I just wanted to get out of there and get. I felt so out of place and unwelcome and not. And as I was leaving, right, I was just walking out the door, this woman from the polo club, she stopped me in the doorway. Easily the most posh woman I've ever met in my life. One of those people so posh it looked like it caused her physical pain to speak, you know, she stopped me in the doorway. She said, angela, she said, I knew when I saw you arrive earlier that you must be the entertainment. She said, I knew you couldn't be married to a polo player, not with that hair. I said, that's funny, love. I knew you were married to a polo player because you look like an actual horse. So I'm here at the commedia, where, as you'll know, I did my first ever gig and the person responsible for getting me on that stage, and she'll tell you, I nearly didn't get on that stage, but I did in the end. She joins me now. It is the brilliant Jill Edwards, who runs a comedy course down here in Brighton. Hello, Jill.

[B]

Oh, hi, Angela. It's so good to be back in this dressing room again.

[A]

I know it's like this last 16 years haven't happened, so it's all your fault, Jill. That's what we're.

[B]

I'm so proud that it's all my fault, I really am. When that happened all that time ago, did the thought that we'd be sitting there like 17 years later, recording for

[A]

Radio 4 and you'd be a big

[B]

star, just like that makes me so happy.

[A]

Oh, that's so. You are my Comedy mum, that's what I say. Even though I should point out Julie's not that much on. Definitely not old enough to be my comedy mum. But spiritually, you're my. Take that, that's fine. Yeah. So I get asked quite often, why did you do a stand up comedy course? Why didn't you just go and start doing stand up? So what, Tell us a little bit about the comedy course, how it works and what it can give people.

[B]

Well, I think it's kind of just an easier way to get started if it's for you. I mean, you don't. It doesn't matter how you get started. If you want to do it, just get started. But the nice thing about a course is you can learn the techniques a bit more, you can learn how to do the writing and try that out and try and find your voice, your authentic voice. And you meet lots of brilliant people. So it's much easier to start gigging with a crew of people and yet some experience you have. My advice for the rest of your life, if you want.

[A]

Absolutely. And I. And I still tap you up for that, don't I, Joey? Yeah, that's it.

[B]

Someone who knew you right at the start, who knows you well and is happy to always give advice. So it just creates a nice sort of safe harbor where you can try stuff out, find your way, dip a toe. Maybe you don't know if it's for you or not, but maybe this is a nicer way to find out, just more. It's fun. Fun as well. It's just friendly and fun and sociable.

[A]

You now join me at the Monkey Barrel Comedy Club in Edinburgh. I think you're ready for your first act of the evening. What do you think? Please, Edinburgh, go wild and crazy. Stamp your feet, clap your hands, whoop and cheer. And welcome to the stage Christopher MacArthur Boyd.

[C]

Hello, Edinburgh. Nice to be here.

[D]

I mean that it's nice to be in Edinburgh, which means a lot because I'm from Glasgow.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

I feel like Glasgow and Edinburgh, I feel like there are kind of easy comedy cliches about these places. You know, everybody says, oh, Glasgow's dead rough and Edinburgh's dead fancy, but we all know it's not quite as simple as that. Glasgow has very lovely, salubrious, wealthy areas and Edinburgh has places that are devastating. But we understand why people feel this way. It's because the meadow of Glasgow is terrifying. You know, you get off Queen street or Central Station, you go outside Glasgow's like a nuclear bomb's been dropped. The meadow is complete devastation. But then you go to the outer limits of the blast radius and you're

[C]

like,

[D]

I can see how this can support life. Edinburgh is the exact opposite. Edinburgh, you get out at Waverley. Edinburgh is like a tornado. You get out at Waverley, you look around all the beautiful buildings and monuments, you go, wow, I'm safe. No, you're not. You're in the eye of the hurricane, my friend. The middle bit's nice. You're being at the outer bit side. Jesus Christ. Like

[C]

Gorgy.

[A]

Ah,

[D]

Western Hales. It has Hales in the name, but yeah, I like it through here. I had a big breakup last year. It's okay I've got a new girlfriend, But I had a big breakup last year and I feel like I just wasn't taking her on good enough anniversary trips. All my friends were taking their girlfriends places like Milan and Tokyo. I took my ex girlfriend right after lockdown and Covid and all that type of stuff. I took my ex girlfriend on an anniversary trip to Edinburgh Zoo. We got the Megabus from Glasgow. We didn't make it to Edinburgh bus station. Went to the zoo. Back on the bus back to Glasgow. In fairness to me, it was not a normal ticket that you can buy for Edinburgh Zoo. It was a special ticket. It's called Edinburgh Zoo After Dark. It was a nighttime zoo experience. And it wasn't good. I don't know about you. My favorite part of the zoo, It's when you can see the animals. I love seeing the animals. I hate it when you can't see them. I couldn't see a single animal. They were all asleep and unlit.

[C]

I could smell them.

[D]

It's not really the sense you want to use to experience a penguin parade, is it? Nasal nightmare. Another trip we went on was the year after that. I was like, right, I need to make this one count. Ended up being the last one. But I wanted to take her somewhere and I thought, you know what? We're gonna go on a rural holiday. Get out the central belt. She really, I just want a rural holiday. I just want to get away from it all. And then you get out there and you're like, I miss all of it. Went out to rural Dumfries and the borders, where Scotland becomes England, a deeply cursed zone. And we got a pod cabin, which is a kind of middle class term for shed. Yeah, somebody who's padded them. We got down there and honestly, I couldn't get any WI fi on my phone. I was so bored. Managed to get a crumb of WI fi From a passing megabus. Right? And I got it and I looked up. I was so bored. I looked up the top 10 things to do in rural Dumfriesia. Number one, the wild goat park. If you've never been, it's a park full of wild goats. And we drove 45 minutes in the rain out to the wild goat park. Well, she drove, I can't drive. And we got to the place and honestly, it was Edinburgh Zoo all over again. Couldn't see a single goat. But the sign that explained the goats will stay with me for the rest of my life, it said that wild goats during mating season, they pee into their own mouths. Yeah. But they don't drink it, they gargle it like it's Corsa Dill or whatever brand is available. They gargled their own urine. Right. But they don't spit it out, they let it dribble out their wee goat lips into their billy goats gruff beards. And this is to attract a mate. I was reading this sign going, I bet if the goats knew the sign said that, they'd be like, that was just one guy. We don't all do that. I've been Chris MacArthur Boyd, you've been lovely. I'll see you later. Cheers.

[A]

As it's live comedy day, I wanted to find out if everyone else was as nervous as me when they started out. So I've just asked some of our brilliant headliners from the series and some comedy legends about their first time on stage.

[E]

I'm the comedian Stuart Lee. I'm pretty sure my first bit of solo comedy that I ever wrote and did was at school, where there was a charity show and I wrote a routine about a man who was addressing a chair and you thought he was telling an imaginary person in the chair that they were splitting up. But it gradually became clear that his relationship with the chair had not worked, due to the chair being a chair and him being a human being. In fact, it sounds a lot better than a lot of things I'm writing now, so I might have to go and dig it out.

[B]

I'm Jo Caulfield and my first gig was at a comedy cafe in Rivington street in London. It was quite a rough club at that time.

[A]

I had a bad reputation for the audience being really drunk and loud, and in order to get on stage, I had three beers, which I've never done since.

[B]

But for the first gig, that was

[A]

definitely the way to go for me. And I must have been the best

[B]

of a very bad bunch because I

[A]

won the open mic.

[B]

Night and I got £25 and then

[A]

they said, you can come back next week and do five minutes. And I thought you had to do a different five minutes. So I came back the next week with different 5 minutes. Died on my ass.

[E]

Hello, I'm Phil Ellis and my first ever gig was at Starbush town Hall in 2005.

[A]

Ish.

[E]

I didn't know you got into comedy, so I just grabbed a Timeout magazine for my local tourist information centre and rang every venue that had a listing like Billy Conley Live and I'd ring them up and go, hi, I hear you do comedy. Can I have a gig? And then they'd say no and I'd just go down the list and eventually Stourbridge Town hall said, you can do a gig but it's called an open spot and there's a comedy night on. You can come on and do 10 minutes in the middle. And I did that and the rest is history.

[F]

Hi, I'm Neil Delamere and my first ever comedy gig was in the Comedy Cellar in Dublin many years ago.

[A]

Brilliant place to start, though.

[E]

Small room, no mic, couldn't ask for anything better.

[A]

Hello, I'm Susie Ruffle and my first gig was at the Lion's Den. I would guess There was about 11 people in the audience. I don't really remember that much about it but it must have gone well enough for me to keep going. Yeah, I can't even remember what I said, but I maybe got a handful of laughs and then I caught the bug. That was it. My life became Stand up.

[E]

I am Andy Zaltzman. My first proper gig was at the Edinburgh Festival in 1997. I did an open mic slot in TV. Started at about 1am As I recall. I was the last on the bill and the sound of the audience whilst I was on stage remains the purest silence I've ever heard in my life. Nothing will ever match it. It had a certain ethereal beauty to it. Onwards and upwards.

[A]

Hello, I'm Deona Doherty and my first gig was in Belfast in front of about five people. I remember my set was seven minutes about things I've learned since I've turned 30, because I just turned 30 before I did my first gig. And that I think was like pretending that stains on my clothes that I would pretend on the spot. Like I just noticed it even though I knew it was there the whole day, but refused to change the outfit because, like the rivet and stuff. Rivet and stuff. It's a wonder why I kept going, to be honest.

[C]

Hello, I'm Sean Walsh and my first gig, actually, remember the date was on November 24, 2006. I was so nervous I couldn't say a word all day. I lived at home at the time. I remember my mum said bye. I couldn't even find the courage to say bye back. And my opening line, I think I said, I'm Sean, I look how I feel. And that got a big laugh because I always looked kind of hungover, even at 20, and I looked pretty rough and I got a laugh and I said, there are advantages to looking the way I do.

[E]

Nobody ever asks me for help.

[C]

And it's true, no one comes to me for help. It would be a disaster. So it was true then and it's still true now. Yeah, it was a very special day in my life. I remember it fondly.

[E]

Hello, I'm Amanda Yunucci and I remember my first stand up gig was I was 12 and it was a fundraiser for an old folks home around the corner from our school. And I compared it doing series of impressions including the Prime Minister, Harold Wilson and the TV presenter Huey Green. I'm not gonna do it now.

[A]

You now join me at the Empire Music hall in Belfast. Oh, Belfast. I do. I hope you feel that my love for you is genuine. I really, it really is. I love coming here. Do you know what? It wasn't my choice to be English. I didn't want it, you know, I want to be you. That's what I want. It's a weird time as well in England at the moment, the rise, because it feels like Belfast is way more progressive than we are at the moment. Way more. So many more. Like the rise of English nationalism. I never thought I would come to Belfast to get away from the flags. Who saw that coming? Keep the clapping and cheering going and welcome to the stage your second act of the evening, Emma McGuire.

[G]

Really lovely to be here. If you don't know me, just a bit of a disclaimer before we begin. I actually have a diagnosis of autism, so if you heckle me, it is considered a hate crime. So probably, probably don't. Those of you with a very keen eye amongst you will notice that I am, as my mother says, you know, a homosexual. So I just think it's amazing being here tonight, you know, autistic, gay Irish. Can you imagine the grant that Radio 4 are getting for having me? People say to me, are you nervous on stage? You know, with your wee problem, your wee disability, nervous offstage? And I'm like, I'm nervous off stage. I'm nervous being alive. I'm nervous all of the time. And part of that for me comes with being autistic. And another thing that comes with it is being extremely literal. So because I am so literal, I've always had real problems understanding idioms, weird sayings that people say, like if you're an autistic kid, someone says, pull your socks up. You think they mean literally pull your socks up. So I really struggled my whole life. Okay, the first time I heard kill two birds with one stone, right? See, from a moral point of view, I was horrified. But see, logistically I thought that's incredible. Not just to hit both birds, not just maim them, but kill them both with the one stone. I thought that's talent. That is incredible. I couldn't even repeat what I thought beat around the bush meant.

[D]

Do you know what I mean?

[G]

I took that one very literally indeed.

[D]

You know,

[G]

last week I heard, I heard a new one. My straight friend said one to me I'd never heard before. She said to me, ok, you know, it's as broad as it's long. And I said, Jesus Christ, I hope it's not. Doesn't sound very enjoyable. So I thought whenever I would go to school, all the things I found difficult because of autism, I thought, you know, they'll help me with that. They'll teach me how to navigate life. But they didn't, right? Instead they just taught us the biggest load of useless shit, right? And I decided to write a song about it. Now the main reason I wrote this is because my mom's a teacher, so it was to passive aggressively get her attention. But this is useless shit they teach us in school. I can play three blind mice on recorder. I can list all the planets in order. I can say ooh a la bibliotheque, which means where's the library? In French. And I can do joined up writing even though we have devices for typing. Was taught when not for drugs, I should say no one had a make a paper mache volcano, but can I do you my taxes? No, I can't. And I learned long division cause my teacher made the decision that I'd never walk around with a calculator. But hey, with computers in our pockets every minute of the day we did the odd sponsored silence. Cause that's how you raise money for hunger and violence. We learn mitochondria is the pyre, house of the cell. I swear that is the phrase they'll use in hell. Pythagoras, he makes me sick. The sum of the squares of the shorter sides of the triangle equal that guy's a delightful genius Lovely fella, lazy. And we were told I comes before E Except if I is after C But wake up can't Cause that's a lie made up by some random guy. We've got protein, foreign weight in vain Sovereign leisure season fame in all these words the E comes first which means what we learned is reversed. We've got either neither, slight and height they don't follow our EIC rule right. I swear they just make this shit up to pass the time till 3 o'. Clock. And the weirdest word that breaks this rule is weird. And then there was sex education which was ironically short in duration. That was for the strip people. Let me do that again. Then there was sex education which was ironically short in duration. As we learned babies came from prayer. And girls should always exercise reasonable care to never seem too attractive. Cause the boys can't help that their minds are active. So wear long skirts and high necked clothes. I don't wanna see your ankles or your sexy elbows. That we learn the best way to have safe sex is not to have it at all. I'm Ema McGuire. Thank you so much. Thank you.

[A]

Thank you, Belfast. And thank you, Emma McGuire. You now join. We meet at the Grand Theatre in Swansea. Do you know what? Swansea. I found out something about you lot today that has blown my mind. You are dark horses. Because if you had given me, I don't know, let's say a month to say which city in the UK celebrated Beaujolais Nouveau Day, I still would not have got to Swansea. I'll be honest with you. Who knew? Who knew it was such a big thing? And I said to the taxi driver in the car, I said, so what happens then? Beaujolais Nouveau d'.

[G]

Etre.

[A]

He said, everyone gets suited and booted and goes to Wetherspoons. I want you to be honest. Swansea, Give me a cheer. If on Beaujolais Nouveau day you drink Beaujolais Nouveau. Not one. Not one person. It's still cider and Alco pops, isn't it? I love what I think because I'm not a. I'm not much of a drinker if I'm nearly 50, I can't do it anymore. Because the hangovers now are something. Those of you under 40, you think you've had a hangover, but you haven't. You haven't. It's not a hangover if it's gone with a Kit Kat and a shit. It's not.

[G]

It's not.

[A]

People have Swansea. Are you ready for your next act? Then please go wild and crazy. You know the score, you know what to do. And welcome to the stage Karwin Blaney.

[F]

Oh, lovely to be here in Swansea. Lovely in the big city. Very exciting. I'm not from around here. Anyone else from Ceredigion?

[B]

Me.

[F]

Yeah, just in the corner. I knew I could smell something. Lovely to have you in. It's really nice. I grew up in rural Caradigan, a dangerously rural part of the world. At the time, though, I didn't realize just how rural my school was, right. Until I remembered that a group of boys got banned from our school toilets because they were in there selling potatoes. I doubt that ever happened to you here in Swansea, did it? You're selling much more hardcore things here. Swedes, probably.

[C]

I loved it, though.

[F]

But you gotta be careful in the Welsh countryside. One step out of line and you can end up with a nickname for life. Like, a girl on my street wore tracksuit bottoms to the church once and she is still known to everyone as Jehovah's Fit. Even her kids don't know her real name. It's absolutely brutal. I'm in that daunting category now. I'm in my late 20s now. Cause I'm 32, which is very late. 32 is a weird sort of in between age, though, you know? Like, some people at 32 might have a house and kids and their own Netflix Login. A man can dream. And then some people at 32, just plucking an example completely at random here, might have recently had to use Fairy Liquid when they ran out of shower gel. I mean, we all move at different paces, though, don't we? But turning 30 will hit some harder than others. Like, my mate did that classic thing. He turned 30 and started rock climbing. It's a classic move that by Fair Play, he's had instant results. He's really gained strength in his forearms and really lost a lot of friends. I don't do very well with change either. Like in rugby, they're constantly updating the rules to try and make it a safer sport. And the latest thing is that you must now tackle the player from below the height of the nipple. That's what they go off now. Anything above the nipple, that is now deemed a high tackle. So now the hardest person on our team to tackle is my nan. It's incredible. It's really given her a second wind. She's gonna retire a few years back, but now she's unstoppable. I'm very jealous of Her. I'm really glad I grew up before the Internet, though, and before social media. I'm glad I grew up at a time when I could play outside. You know, I wasn't indoors rotting my brain online. I was outside peeing on electric fences. So much more wholesome. But I do. I hate social media. I hate my phone. My phone's got this sick, twisted sense of humor.

[D]

Right.

[F]

A few months back, I went through a breakup, and I should have moved on by now, but I can't. And it's because every so often, just as I'm starting to think that I'm finally ready to move on with my life, my phone, without prompting, will decide to make me a montage out of lovely photos of me and my ex. Do your phones do wild montages like these? Hopefully not of me and my ex. Maybe it does. Like, the most painful thing about it, though, is it'll insist on giving these montages names. And they're always brutal names. The other day, I woke up to a montage on my phone called Made for each Other. How the hell am I supposed to move on with my life when my phone is acting like a child of divorce? My ex, she was American. Actually, in many ways, she still is. It did mean there was a bit of a language barrier between us because, you know, the Americans, they use different words for things that we have here, like foods. In America, coriander is cilantro. And rocket. Does anybody here know what the Americans will call rocket? Oh, yes. A few of you you've been revising. Yeah, it's arugula. You heard of that before?

[E]

No.

[F]

Arugula. Arugula. Arugala. That's not a word that sounds like someone from Kent trying to say a Welsh town name. Gorgeous little holiday cottage in Arugula.

[C]

Beautiful part of the world.

[F]

I hope to retire there someday with my wife, cilantro. But we had such different backgrounds, though. I mean, like, she grew up in Chicago. I grew up in an area where people still point at airplanes. And our references were so different. Like, we were in Aberystwyth once, and I explained to her that this is where Taron Egerton grew up. And she goes, who the hell is that? I was like, Hollywood actor Taron Edgerton. He's a Golden Globe winner tipped to potentially be a James Bond someday. She goes, well, what's he been in? I was like, what's he been in? He played the part of Elton John in the hit movie Arugula Man. Thank you so much for having me,

[A]

Blaney. I'm back backstage at the Commedia in Brighton with comedy tutor Jill Edwards. What you do is so incredible because you do get people onto stage telling jokes, and that is the scary bit. I can remember standing right behind this curtain here at Commedia, where we are now, and I waiting for the compare to call me on for that very first gig.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And just thinking I could just walk out, I could just turn around and leave and that would be the end of this silly little idea I've had. But you were there to make sure people didn't do that and to sort of gently go, no, this way, come on, stage it this way. Because I know now, thank goodness you did that. Live comedy is just the biggest buzz.

[B]

Oh, my God. In the world, whether you're watching or whether you're doing it.

[A]

Absolutely both. And. And by live, I mean grassroots comedy club. Getting up in front of small rooms of people.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because as a comedian, the responsibility for that is. Yeah, you're their night out.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You know, you don't want to ruin their night out, but from the audience point of view, what a special thing.

[B]

There's nothing better. There's nothing. If you have never been to live comedy, for goodness sake, get down to your club, your local club, that live, grassroots comedy, you are missing out on something unbelievable. If you've not been to see comedy live, just go and find it with little room above a pub, some dreadful corner of some awful place.

[A]

Dog in the corner. Exactly. Oh, my goodness. Some of the gigs I've done, just having some terrible PTSD flashbacks there. And of course, today is live comedy day, so if you want more information about that, find your local club, see what's going on around the country. Go to livecomedyday.co.uk. yay, Brighton. Are you ready for your headliner? Please welcome Sean Walsh.

[C]

Thank you very much. Thank you. Nice to be here in my hometown. Did my first ever gig in this very room 20 years ago.

[E]

Yes.

[C]

At the age of. Age of 20. I was 20. And I thought I would start today with one of the things I said in that first ever set 20 years ago, talking about how liberal Brighton is. And this was confirmed when I was on the bus here in Brighton and. And on a poster on the inside of the bus, it said, don't have a valid ticket. Fine. What a liberating city we are. So it's fantastic to be here and of course, you know, well done for coming out. It's a fantastic thing to come out, experience live comedy. Just something to do that stops you from looking at your phone. Because we are all addicted to the phone already. And I'm ashamed to admit this. It feels like this is the longest that I haven't checked my phone today. And I drove here. I'm so addicted to my phone. I get anxious when it's low on battery. I don't know if you had this. I was staying in a hotel the other night and I went to charge my phone. It turned out there was no plug socket next to the bed. Yeah, I had to sleep on the desk, Lying there with a menu digging into my hip. Sean, go to sleep. I can't. I need to see what the cast of Saved by the Bell look like.

[G]

Now.

[C]

This technology, it's meant to be improving our lives. I think it's making it worse. I really do. I've been around long enough now to have that opinion. I was in McDonald's the other day and I don't like what they've done with the place. But it's not just McDonald's. They're all going along with this Starbucks. Costa, you go in the touchscreen machine. I was in McDonald's. They're trying to get rid of the stuff. I never thought I'd say this. I missed the queue. You joined the back of the queue. You waited until you got to the front. You ordered your food, they got your food. You paid, you left. The system worked. You've been into McDonald's the last few years. Like walking around Heathrow Airport. The touchscreen machine, that. That's a good idea, isn't it? And a fast food restaurant, a touch screen machine. Thousands of people touching the same machine with their hands before they eat with their hands. After a global pandemic, how did it spread? You might as well just walk in, stick your fingers up the manager's ass. I'll have Big Mac, please. Thank you very much. Mm.

[D]

Mm.

[C]

Mm. Lovely.

[D]

Mmm.

[C]

Gherkin. Ugh. Ugh. They had these at train stations, these machines. I went from London to Brighton a few weeks back. I was at Clapham Junction. I'm at the machine. It says, which station? Brighton. B. Nothing. B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B, B. Would you like to go to. I just want to order my food. I want to leave. I don't know about you. I get the same meal every time. Large Big Mac meal, six chicken nuggets, bottle of water to convince myself I'm healthy. Every time I order my food. Going to order my food. There are options. I'm not kidding. There are options for sides. In McDonalds, would you like fries or carrots? Why don't you have a wild stab in the dark of which one I'm going to go for? I think I knew when I entered the building that today wasn't a carrot day. Anyone seen anyone leaving McDonald's with carrots as they're going? You're not bad. Mrs. Was cooking a shepherd's pie. She ran out of carrots. She said, quickly, pop to McDonald's. I just want to pay. I want to leave. You get all these different options for prices. Here's a question I never thought I'd see in my life. Would you like to round up? Would I like for this to be more expensive than it already is? And they look, they put a little image up there and they say it's for charity. Is it? I think we all do the same thing at this point. Quick look round, make sure no one's looking. Not today. I love that phrasing as well. Not today. I'm going to level with you, McDonald's. Probably not tomorrow either. Just give me my ticket and let me leave. The ticket comes out, it's number 16. You're lucky if you get your ticket. Most of the time the machine just goes. I don't know. Good luck. Even with the ticket in my hand, I've never felt less certain of anything in my life than that number I have in the palm of my hand. I'm there like that. Number 16. Right? I think. Number 16.

[A]

16.

[C]

16. Then a Deliveroo driver storms in like some sort of Power Ranger. Where's he come from? Why has he got first dibs? That guy's ordered that at home. I'm here, I've done the groundwork. No one wants this system. We don't want it. The staff don't want it at these places. I feel sorry for the staff. They used to just kind of turn round, grab some fries, shout.

[D]

Next.

[C]

They were happy. You seen these poor people? Now McDonald's Bingo. 91. 91. 91. You know they're getting desperate when they start holding up the bag. 91. And the drink. 91. Where's he gone? Where has he gone? We're all in McDonald's because we're desperate. Who's ordered their McDonald's. And they've been nonchalant about whether it turns up or not. I love that. I love that. I love that. I'll go for a stroll, see if I fancy it on the way back. Meanwhile, I'm still there. Number 16. Number 16. Number 16. My number disappeared. You ever had that it was preparing. Then it's gone. What have they done? Eaten it. Where's my food? I now go back to the counter. I'm at the counter. This is the thing they were trying to stop with, with the machines. I'm now at the counter. And when you get to 40, it starts to look like if you end up at the counter, it's because you don't know how the new technology works. It's embarrassing that. Hi. Hi.

[D]

Excuse me.

[C]

Hi. Been here four years, getting the staff's attention. Hello. Excuse me. Hi. Yeah, four years. Feel like Tom Hanks at the terminal. I've moved in or something. Please, I. I'm starving. There's my ticket. Number 16. Let me leave. He took my ticket. He turned it round. 91. Sean Walsh. Thank you very much. Take care. Good night.

[G]

Thank you.

[A]

Thanks to all our guests, thanks to all our audiences across the country. I've been Angela Barnes. Goodbye. Live from the UK was hosted by me, Angela Barnes, and featured Christopher McArthur Boyd, Emma McGuire, Karin Blaney and Sean Walsh. Additional material by Ruth Husko. The producer was Gwen Rees Davies and It was a BBC Studios production for Radio 4. Hello, it's Angela Barnes here, and if you enjoyed that episode of Live from the uk, there are lots more available to listen to. Just search Stand up specials on BBC Sound.

[E]

Hey, I'm Slim. When I was at school, my report card said, he's clever but not applying himself. Little did my teachers know this kid from South London would go from driving a bus in Brixton to becoming the first black British comedian to sell out the London Palladium. So when my daughter asked me about

[A]

my life, you know, what was it like?

[E]

I realized I've had a hell of a ride. So I'm gonna tell my story through every decade from where I feel at home on the comedy stage.

[A]

Yeah, man.

[E]

Slim's Guide. Listen to the whole series now on BBC Sounds.