Compassion in a T-Shirt with Dr. Stan Steindl
Episode: EFT Tapping for Self-Compassion and Healing | Carol Look
Guest: Carol Look, EFT Master & Author
Date: October 31, 2025
Episode Overview
In this insightful episode, Dr. Stan Steindl welcomes Carol Look—pioneering EFT Master, psychotherapist, and author—to discuss Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT, or “tapping”), and its powerful applications for healing, self-compassion, and the cultivation of gratitude. Drawing from decades of clinical experience, Carol illustrates how EFT merges energy psychology with psychotherapy to accelerate and deepen healing, quiet the inner critic, and create new pathways for living with intention, wisdom, and joy. She also introduces her practical “YES Code” framework and shares tools from her new book, YES, Thank You: Tapping into the Superpower of Gratitude.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. Discovering EFT: From Traditional Therapy to Energy Healing
- Carol’s Journey with EFT (01:15 – 03:00)
- Originally a traditional psychotherapist, Carol found traditional talk therapy valuable but sought quicker, deeper results.
- A foray into hypnosis led her to a “weird tapping technique” that transformed both her own and her clients’ lives.
- Quote: “It’s fast, it’s efficient, it’s addressing what we need to address, which is the fight or flight response in our center, in our nervous system.” (01:42, Carol Look)
- EFT as Both Practitioner and Personal Tool (03:00 – 05:15)
- Emphasizes importance of practitioners using EFT on themselves to clear their own blocks.
- Example: Her chronic insomnia disappeared through tapping—demonstrating the method’s profound impact.
2. How EFT Works: The Science and Practice
- Mechanisms of Change (06:06 – 09:22)
- Tapping targets acupuncture points on the face and body that correspond to energy meridians, releasing “gridlocks” in the body’s flow.
- Modern research supports that tapping calms the amygdala and fight-or-flight response during distressing recollections.
- Quote: “What we're doing is accessing the fight or flight response in the amygdala... We're doing the tapping which sends calming signals back to the brain.” (06:36, Carol)
- It’s more than desensitization; it’s a physiological calming, not just repeating the story.
3. The YES Code: A Framework for Clarity and Action
- Introducing the YES Code (10:09 – 12:41)
- A coaching method: clarify your goal, identify what’s blocking you, ask the right questions, and systematically clear obstacles with tapping.
- Quote: “You get very clear on what you want. Why aren’t you there yet? Ask the right questions... and then clearing it and coming to your next yes.” (10:18, Carol)
- Focuses on discovering personal motivation versus external influence, and distinguishing real goals from superficial ones.
- Quote: “We’re always doing what other people want us to do... but if you don’t know how to go inside and get the answer, we’re barking up the wrong tree.” (13:17, Carol)
4. Self-Compassion, Wisdom, and Tackling Self-Criticism
- Tapping into Self-Compassion (16:30 – 25:00)
- Reflects on how self-criticism, shame, and early life experiences create entrenched patterns.
- Quote: “Criticizing ourselves... doesn’t do us any good. Bottom line, it doesn’t do us any good.” (17:25, Carol)
- Tapping quiets the inner critic, allowing for deeper self-understanding, self-acceptance, and intuition.
- Quote: “When you’re quiet and present, you get access to different answers... but nobody’s quiet long enough.” (19:08, Carol)
- Healing is not just about behavior change, but working on beliefs and feelings to create lasting transformation.
5. Tapping & Gratitude: The “Superpower” Combo
- Merging EFT with Gratitude Practice (25:54 – 32:23)
- Classic EFT works by focusing on the problem, but gratitude enhances and completes the process.
- Addresses why rote gratitude lists don’t work (“nobody’s feeling anything”) and how tapping enables genuine, embodied gratitude.
- Quote: “Now I combine... tapping on the challenge and then end with your gratitude list, because you’re in it and you can feel it and you’re tapping on the points...” (26:50, Carol)
- Scientific evidence shows both practices lower stress, improve health, and shift emotional states.
- Quote: “It truly changes your chemistry... gratitude has now been shown and proven to change your chemistry and based on the focus and you’re choosing it.” (29:19, Carol)
6. Healing Old Wounds and Trauma
- Working with Deep Pain, Trauma, and PTSD (32:23 – 36:39)
- EFT is used effectively for trauma, including with veterans, by first calming pain and then creating space for gratitude.
- Important point: “You cannot think of what you’re grateful for in the middle of a PTSD reaction.”
- Healing is a two-step process: address the pain and wounding with tapping, then move towards gratitude once “there’s more room inside.”
- Quote: “Can’t just talk about wounds. The wounds happen in your body and electrical memory as well... the tapping takes care of that.” (34:52, Carol)
7. Safety, Imagery, and Skepticism
- Creating Safety and Using Imagery (36:39 – 39:57)
- EFT helps clients reconnect to a felt sense of safety, allowing their own imagery and metaphors to emerge.
- Quote: “All human beings care about is feeling safe... Imagery is awesome. People come up with it themselves...” (38:00, Carol)
- Addressing Skepticism (39:57 – 41:39)
- Skepticism often arises from fear of facing difficult feelings.
- Carol encourages, “Don’t be skeptical until you’ve tried it... Learn how to do it well and notice what happens in your body.” (40:41, Carol and Dr. Stan)
8. Live Demonstration: EFT Tapping + Gratitude Exercise
- Practical Guided Session (42:19 – 47:55)
- Carol leads Dr. Stan (and listeners) through a simple tapping sequence for stress, paired with gratitude affirmations.
- Sequence includes identifying a current stressor, tapping major acupoints, and layering in gratitude statements.
- Memorable Moment: Dr. Stan reflects, “I think the gratitude practice just sort of brought a smile to my face... That was when a kind of a shift came in. It was... a superpower moment...” (47:16, Dr. Stan)
9. Carol’s Hopes and Broader Lessons
- What She Hopes Readers Take from Her Work (48:47 – 50:14)
- Hopes people find “a way out of emotional pain” and move toward self-care, joy, and conscious choice.
- Tapping plus gratitude = “double dipping” for healing and feeling more joyful.
- Quote: “Are we going to keep going down the dark alley without a flashlight... or use tools and processes that are available to us?” (49:48, Carol)
Notable Quotes
-
On EFT’s Power:
“This is the best tool in my hands. It’s fast, it’s efficient... I can be compassionate and help more people quickly.”
(01:40–01:58, Carol) -
On Inner Critic:
“Criticizing ourselves... doesn’t do us any good. Bottom line, it doesn’t do us any good.”
(17:25, Carol) -
On The Role of Gratitude:
“I love being able to do it for myself and for others. But again, don’t skip the focus on the challenge or the stress... then do the gratitude.”
(47:57, Carol) -
On Skepticism:
“Don’t be skeptical until you’ve tried it... notice what happens in your body and your mind when you’re doing it.”
(40:41, Carol) -
On Real Transformation:
“We need to change our feelings and our beliefs in order to have the result, the behavior change...”
(24:07, Carol) -
On Empowerment:
“How do we give people more tools, better tools, so they're empowered and not reliant on other people or reliant on the old story...”
(29:46, Carol)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Intro & Carol’s Background: 00:00 – 02:31
- How EFT Works (Mechanisms & Science): 06:06 – 09:22
- YES Code Explained: 10:09 – 12:41
- Self-Compassion & Inner Criticism: 16:30 – 25:00
- Tapping + Gratitude (“Double Whammy”): 25:54 – 32:23
- Healing Trauma & Creating Safety: 32:23 – 39:57
- Guided Tapping Exercise with Gratitude: 42:19 – 47:55
- Hope for Readers (Book Message): 48:47 – 50:14
Resources & Closing
- Carol’s book: YES, Thank You: Tapping into the Superpower of Gratitude
- Carol’s Workshops: Online tapping and abundance series; live workshops in NYC and Brisbane (see her website for details).
- Website and Contact: CarolLook.com
Closing Note:
This episode serves as both an introduction and a practical guide to using EFT tapping for emotional healing, cultivating self-compassion, and harnessing gratitude for real change—a compassionate toolkit for anyone seeking to transform the blocks and patterns that hold them back.