2024 Memorable Moments: Conan, Sona, and Matt

Summary

Podcast Summary: Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend Episode: 2024 Memorable Moments: Conan, Sona, and Matt
Release Date: December 23, 2024

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1. Tribute to Conan's Parents
Timestamp: [02:03] – [05:00]

The episode opens with a heartfelt discussion about Conan O’Brien's recent personal loss. Matt Gourley shares the tragic news, stating, “[03:10] Matt Gourley: Conan was actually shooting overseas for his Max show. He came back to Brookline, and then while he was there, his mom, Ruth Reardon O’Brien, died at 92.” The hosts pay homage to Conan’s parents, highlighting their remarkable lives and contributions. Sona Movsesian adds depth to the tribute by describing Conan’s mother as “[03:44] Matt Gourley: ...one of the second females to partner at her law firm,” emphasizing her pioneering role in a male-dominated field. The conversation underscores Conan's close-knit family and the impact of their loss on him.

2. Reflecting on Conan's Legacy and Family
Timestamp: [05:00] – [08:00]

Matt continues to reminisce about Conan's parents, sharing anecdotes that reveal their impressive backgrounds. “[04:07] Matt Gourley: His dad was a microbiologist. He retired at 90, and I'm hoping Conan will also retire at 90.” Sona humorously comments on Conan’s unwavering energy, “[03:37] Sona Movsesian: I think he's gone too far already.” The discussion balances respect with lightheartedness, showcasing the camaraderie among the hosts while honoring Conan's family legacy.

3. Favorite Podcast Moments of 2024
Timestamp: [08:00] – [20:00]

Transitioning from the tribute, Sona introduces a segment highlighting favorite moments from the past year. “[04:57] Sona Movsesian: So this first episode will be from the intros and segments which you, Conan, and I do together.” The hosts delve into memorable clips, sharing laughter and insights. One standout moment is Matt recounting Conan’s amusing airport story: “[07:13] Conan O’Brien: ...this guy who's wearing a sweater that is practically identical. They look very similar.” The exchange elicits chuckles and showcases the spontaneous humor that defines their interactions.

4. 'Conan Tries Sona's Lip Gloss' Segment
Timestamp: [15:10] – [20:10]

A comedic highlight features Conan experimenting with Sona's lip gloss. “[15:10] Matt Gourley: We've had a few things with my chapsticks.” As Conan applies the gloss, his playful antics unfold: “[16:33] Conan O’Brien: Oh, my God. This is delicious.” The segment is peppered with humorous exchanges, such as Sona’s reluctance to participate and Matt’s mortified reactions. This playful interaction underscores the relaxed and fun atmosphere of the podcast.

5. Hot Ones Recap: Conan's Fiery Experience
Timestamp: [34:56] – [43:00]

Conan shares his experience on the popular show "Hot Ones," where he faced a barrage of spicy wings. “[35:00] Conan O’Brien: I went on the show Hot Ones, and I did not... start stuffing these wings in no matter what.” He humorously describes his determination to endure the heat, “[35:37] Matt Gourley: He is.” The recap is filled with laughter as Conan exaggerates his fiery ordeal, poking fun at himself and highlighting his improvisational skills under pressure.

6. Arm Wrestling Skit: A Battle of Wits and Strength
Timestamp: [48:00] – [52:00]

In a spontaneous and hilarious skit, the hosts engage in a mock arm wrestling match. “[48:43] Sona Movsesian: Jesus. What. What are you doing?” The playful banter escalates as Conan exaggerates his weaknesses and Matt showcases his playful competitiveness. “[50:00] Matt Gourley: Yeah, you know what? You would. I think you're the best. Like, cheater.” The segment is a testament to their chemistry and ability to create comedy out of thin air.

7. Chubby Bunny Challenge: Marshmallow Mayhem
Timestamp: [59:00] – [64:00]

The hosts attempt the classic "Chubby Bunny" game, leading to a messy and laugh-out-loud challenge. “[60:09] Conan O’Brien: This is the game Marlon Brando was playing when he... secured the role for the Godfather.” As marshmallows accumulate in their mouths, their struggles to articulate the phrase result in comedic gold. “[63:56] Conan O’Brien: I didn't know what that is.” The segment highlights their willingness to embrace silliness, much to the amusement of listeners.

8. Luxe Bidet Ad Parody: Bathroom Humor
Timestamp: [66:00] – [73:00]

Conan delivers a mock advertisement for Luxe Bidet, blending humor with product promotion. “[68:46] Conan O’Brien: Toilet paper has no business trying to battle the mess of a large holiday meal.” His exaggerated portrayal of bidets and their supposed superpowers results in a side-splitting ad parody. “[69:16] Sona Movsesian: Can I just say, they say people will laugh when they first see it.” The segment is a creative take on commercial humor, showcasing Conan's unique comedic flair.

9. Closing Remarks and Future Episodes
Timestamp: [73:00] – [75:00]

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on their time together and express their appreciation for the listeners. “[75:19] Adam Sachs: Thanks for coming.” They tease future episodes, mentioning the next installment will feature favorite clips from interview guests. “[74:06] Sona Movsesian: Do you want to just go a little longer?” The closing maintains the warm and friendly tone, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating what's to come.

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Notable Quotes:

• Matt Gourley at [03:10]: "Conan was actually shooting overseas for his Max show. He came back to Brookline, and then while he was there, his mom, Ruth Reardon O’Brien, died at 92."

• Sona Movsesian at [05:31]: "He was practicing law when there were, like, dining halls that women weren't allowed into. ... she was a partner in the law firm. So it was like, they're just incredible people."

• Conan O’Brien at [15:35]: "This is delicious... I do."

• Conan O’Brien at [35:02]: "I start drinking the sauce and rubbing it around on my face and my chest and everything."

• Matt Gourley at [50:00]: "Yeah, you know what? You would. I think you're the best. Like, cheater."

• Conan O’Brien at [60:20]: "This is dumb. This is the dumbest thing I've ever been a part of."

• Conan O’Brien at [68:46]: "You need a bidet that shoots water. No more smearing."

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This episode of Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend masterfully balances heartfelt tributes with uproarious comedy, offering listeners a blend of sincere moments and laugh-out-loud segments. From honoring Conan's beloved parents to engaging in spontaneous games and hilarious skits, Conan and his co-hosts deliver an unforgettable episode that celebrates friendship, resilience, and the enduring power of humor.

Transcript

[Conan O'Brien]

So now I have a question for you.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Have you gotten your butts back to Super Cuts? That's what it says right here.

[Matt Gourley]

I figured.

[Conan O'Brien]

But why would it be butts, plural? Just to rhyme with Supercuts?

[Matt Gourley]

I think so, yeah. Because it's not super cut. It's super cut.

[Conan O'Brien]

You would say, get your butt to Super Cut, but because it's Super Cuts, they said, get your butts. Well, that's on them, not on me.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, guess what? The point is, a lot of people have gotten their butts to Supercuts.

[Matt Gourley]

Good.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, those people are talking about Supercuts in a good way. People are talking about Supercuts. They got nice things to say and that's how you know they're doing something right.

[Matt Gourley]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Last month alone, more than 40,000 people left a Google review for Supercuts. That's a new review every minute. There's a review being birthed as you list being birthed.

[Matt Gourley]

I know. That's a weird.

[Conan O'Brien]

As you listen to this word choice.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Then they spank it and it cries. I like Supercuts. And you know how those 40,000 people rated Supercuts 4.8 out of 5 stars? That's crazy. It's just basically perfect.

[Matt Gourley]

It is.

[Conan O'Brien]

Why Supercuts? Because it's Supercuts. You get an incredible haircut from an expert stylist tailored to you. Supercuts. You pay a reasonable price. Not a lot. Slightly more than a burrito. Just slightly more than a burrito. Depends on where you get the burrito. I buy a really expensive. I like to buy a burrito that has a gold watch in it. Anyway, at Supercuts, they work around you. Check in [e-mail] or just walk right in. No appointment needed. Supercuts wants your feedback, too. It's going to be good. That's why they want it. So get your butt back to Supercuts.

[Adam Sachs]

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[Matt Gourley]

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[Conan O'Brien]

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[Conan O'Brien]

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[Sona Movsesian]

Back to school Ring the bell Brand new shoes Walking loose Climb the fence Books and pens I can tell that we are gonna be friends Yes, I can tell that we are gonna.

[Matt Gourley]

Be friends hello and welcome to Conan. O'Brien needs a friend.

[Sona Movsesian]

That was very official sounding.

[Matt Gourley]

I know. I was trying to do. I was trying to channel Conan, who is not here today.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's right. Sonam of session has moved from second chair to first.

[Matt Gourley]

I would move. You would move?

[Sona Movsesian]

What are you talking about?

[Matt Gourley]

No, no, no. If, if. If he left, which he is not here, you would take over as, like, the guy?

[Sona Movsesian]

No, absolutely.

[Matt Gourley]

Well, yes. Okay. But Conan is not here because sadly, last week, his mom and his dad both passed away within days of each other. His dad, Dr. Thomas O'Brien, was 95. Conan was actually shooting overseas for his Max show. He came back to Brookline, and then while he was there, his mom, Ruth Reardon O'Brien, died at 92. And today is actually her birthday.

[Sona Movsesian]

I didn't know that. No kidding.

[Matt Gourley]

Today is her birthday. And so you never got a chance to meet his parents?

[Sona Movsesian]

I never did, no.

[Matt Gourley]

No, I. So, you know, I. I worked for him for a very long time, and his parents were very impressive, very remarkable people in. In their fields. They were celebrities in their own right. His dad was a microbiologist. He retired at 90, and I'm hoping Conan will also retire at 90. Really?

[Sona Movsesian]

I think he's gone too far already.

[Matt Gourley]

You do?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

No, I want to ride those coattails until the very end, don't you?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes, of course.

[Matt Gourley]

Just like wheeling in a. A decrepit Conan to the studio. This is terrible. I'm so sorry. I'm, like, sweating because I'm. I have to talk about serious stuff. But. But, yeah, his dad is a legend in his field, and his mother was actually one of the first graduates of Yale Law School. And she became a partner at her law firm when she had five kids.

[Sona Movsesian]

And, like, the second female to do so. Right.

[Matt Gourley]

Second female to do so. I mean, she was practicing law when there were, like, dining halls that women weren't allowed into. And so she would sit outside these dining halls and men would be. And she'd be sitting on her own little table outside. And she was, like, a partner in the. At the law firm. So it was like, they're just incredible people. It's a huge loss. So Conan's with his family, all 800 of them.

[Sona Movsesian]

And he mentioned to us that he wanted us to do this and to set up the context as to why he's not here.

[Matt Gourley]

Right.

[Sona Movsesian]

And be transparent about it that he's with his family. And so we've cobbled together some of our favorite moments of the last year. So this first episode will be from the intros and segments which you, Conan, and. And I do together. And then next week, there'll be an episode of some of our favorite moments from the various guests that have been on the show in 2024.

[Matt Gourley]

Okay. I mean, I'm. I'm acting like I don't know what you're saying, but we had a whole conversation before.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah. So why are you doing that? You're thrown by having to be serious on Sirius xm. It's in the name.

[Matt Gourley]

I know, I know, but it is a really sad thing. I mean, I've. I've. You know, over the time, working for Conan, I really got to know all of his family, all his siblings, his parents. They were always really nice. It's just a really hard thing to talk about. And I think that it's beautiful that they passed away within days of each other.

[Sona Movsesian]

Really is. It's. It's strikingly poignant.

[Matt Gourley]

I know, I know.

[Sona Movsesian]

And, yeah, like you said, I haven't met his parents. He wouldn't allow that.

[Matt Gourley]

But he kept you away.

[Sona Movsesian]

We have been thinking about him a ton. And I saw my extended family and everybody yesterday at my extended family, people who he's never met and he's met some of my extended family, was like, please tell him I'm thinking about him. Anyway. We are thinking about you, boss.

[Matt Gourley]

Yes. Yes, we are. We are. It's a really hard time for him, but, you know, he's still Conan. He made fun of me this morning, so I think he's doing okay.

[Sona Movsesian]

I think his exact words were, the show must go on, but you guys have to do it.

[Matt Gourley]

What a dick. We could still call him a dick.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

It doesn't change even though he's not here.

[Sona Movsesian]

No. None of this changes that he's still a dick.

[Matt Gourley]

A grieving dick is still a dick.

[Sona Movsesian]

Exactly.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah. I think that that's okay.

[Sona Movsesian]

A grieving dick is still d. Still a dick. Wiser words.

[Matt Gourley]

Yes. And that's why I'll be delivering the eulogies. Oh, my God. What am I doing?

[Conan O'Brien]

I can cut this.

[Matt Gourley]

Why can't I do this normally?

[Sona Movsesian]

You can. In the end, it'll sound fine.

[Matt Gourley]

Okay. All right. Okay.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay. So let's move on to our first clip. I think an all timer, not just for 2024.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, my God. This is one of my favorite things. That ever happened to you?

[Sona Movsesian]

I agree. It's Conan makes a stranger take a selfie with him.

[Eduardo Perez]

I will say I have watched this clip over and over again, like once a week. I'll just go back and watch it.

[Sona Movsesian]

Sean Void that you love. The feeling of Conan's, like, desirous ego being.

[Eduardo Perez]

It's a perfect story. It's told perfectly. It's so funny. It has payoff. It's just great.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay, let's roll it.

[Conan O'Brien]

I have a tale to tell, and it's an embarrassing tale. And I think these are the ones you guys like.

[Matt Gourley]

These are our favorite.

[Conan O'Brien]

This is a true story. I just flew in from Boston. I was seeing my family there, and I, you know, I check out my family. I check out my family. Hey, you guys are looking. Hey, Mom, Dad. You guys are looking good. Sexy nuclear unit. No, I was checking in on my family and seeing my, my, my fam. My sibs. And then I go to Logan Airport and I'm going to take the flight from Boston to Los Angeles. And I am in the line. You know, you wait in the line to hand your stuff over, put it on the conveyor belt so you're a little distracted. But I'm, you know, taking my belt off. They always say you can leave your belt on, but it always sets it off. So now I take everything off. I'm pretty much naked when I go through that thing, but I'm taking everything off. I'm putting it down into this bucket. And this very nice kid who's wearing a white sweater and he has glasses and dark hair, and he says, oh, hi, Conan. And he could not have been nicer. He said, you, show means a lot to me. Your TV show meant a lot to me. I've listened to Conan O'Brien needs a friend all the time. He is Armenian. He introduces himself. And I think he said his name was Arman. He could not have been nicer. And he was talking about, he was very beautifully talking about what the work has meant to him and all that. And I just had the nicest conversation with him. And he was kind of holding his phone, but we were just about to go through whatever the X ray machine, and so he had to put his phone in. And I was kind of thinking, I think he wanted to do a photo, but he didn't. Okay. Aw, hold on. But anyway, we go through and I'm thinking, that guy was so nice. So then they want to look again at one of my bags. I think it's. You know how many men travel with nine bottles of hairspray. So it was suspicious. And it's Aquanet. It's for old women. They don't even make it anymore.

[Matt Gourley]

I'm like a two day tr.

[Conan O'Brien]

A day and a half trip. And so. And it's not all for my. For my hair. But anyway, no, I'm saying I inhale that stuff. It's incredible. High shout out to Aquanet. But anyway, I get through and I get called some of my stuff. And I stand up and standing there, white sweater, glasses, dark hair, sky. And I walk up to him and say, hey, let's do a selfie. And he said, okay. And he starts to fish around in his luggage for his camera. And I'm thinking he was just holding his camera and he doesn't seem that interested. And what the fuck? That's weird. I thought I was being super nice because he said all those nice things. And he starts to pick it up and he goes, okay. And I went. I look at him and I go, wait a minute. Oh, no, it's not that guy. I just. I swear to God, I just. So this guy who's. Just a guy who's wearing. And I look over and I see the other guy. Listen to me, I see. Listen to me, I'm not kidding. I swear to God. This has all exactly happened. I see the other guy, he's wearing a sweater that is practically identical. They look very similar. And he's got glasses. And I see him standing over at a post holding his cell phone, thinking.

[Sona Movsesian]

Why wouldn't he take a selfie?

[Conan O'Brien]

And he's. And I'm looking at this guy and he goes, okay. And he takes a selfie of us. And so look at it from his perspective. He's sitting there waiting for another relative, a girlfriend or whatever to come through, and Conan O'Brien walks up and goes, hey, let's do a selfie.

[Sona Movsesian]

He must have thought you were insane.

[Conan O'Brien]

He thought I was fucking insane. And so then I started to go, no, no, no, I thought. I thought you were him. And I'm pointing to the other guy, and the other guy isn't even looking at me at that point. He's looking at his phone because he just got a text. And there's no good explanation for why you would walk up to a stranger and say, hey, hey, buddy, let's get a selfie. You're gonna want this. You're gonna want this. So somewhere out there, there's a guy who isn't a fan, doesn't care, maybe actively dislikes what I do. I came up to him and made him take a. And I can die. Just. And so then I walk up to the other guy and I said, I'm sorry, I thought he was you. And the other guy, I'm just, You know, there's no. Now he just thinks, oh, so all non celebrities look alike to you?

[Sona Movsesian]

No, I think what happened is there was no first guy, and you just got a bad reaction from someone you wanted to take a selfie with. And this first guy's your like, fight club Tyler Durden down and gets you to do self.

[Conan O'Brien]

Nice. Nice try. Yes. That I sea Phantom people. No, I loved. It was so perfect. And I. I don't have photos, but if I could show you a photo of what both of them were wearing, you would laugh because it's.

[Sona Movsesian]

Some of these selfies exist, though.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's as if. It's as if a higher being, God, said, this is going to be really funny. I'm sending down two people who look somewhat alike, and they're both in a. And they're both wearing this very similar sweater and, like, dark jeans. So whatever that. That happened.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I just keep thinking about this guy, just like, okay, where's Sarah? I just gotta wait for Sarah to come through. Hey, hey, let's take a selfie. What do you. Let's do it right now. Come on. Get the camera out.

[Matt Gourley]

Like, you're doing him a favor. Like, hey, buddy.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And now I think I chosen you. Hey, guess what? Randomly, every hundredth person gets to win the ultimate lottery.

[Sona Movsesian]

You think you're about to be selected for improved security? No, no.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're getting a selfie with Conan O'Brien. I'm sorry, and you do what? Come on. Late Night Show, 90s 2000s. NBC, TBS. Come on, come on. Podcast. Come on, come on. Get the camera.

[Sona Movsesian]

Let's do Incredible.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's a. That's it. That's just happened. That happened 36 hours ago. And I. The minute it happened, I said, these exist. This is why I have the podcast, because this is fresh. This just happened. Hey, buddy, let's do it. Get the camera out. Let's get that selfie.

[Matt Gourley]

I love that you said these two selfies still exist, but that guy probably just deleted it.

[Conan O'Brien]

He never took it.

[Matt Gourley]

She was like, yeah. Oh, yeah, I took it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, there you go. And you know what he said? He said, click. He said, click. And I was like, I didn't think. He pushed the phone. And then I saw him walk up to a trash can and throw his iPhone away. And it was the new one. It's the new one with the funny new click cord.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, man, that is true. That picture is probably out there somewhere.

[Matt Gourley]

Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

If this person, like, has this never made its way back to that person? I want to see that photo so badly.

[Matt Gourley]

Arman, it's me. It's. So he said he's Armenian. Maybe he's my cousin or something. But yeah, just show us this picture. Wait, no, we don't want his picture. We don't want it with Arman. We want it with the other guy that he, like, went.

[Sona Movsesian]

I just love to see it.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, I know. It's awesome. That was one of my favorite stories. Also very sweet that he's. He was visiting his parents, he said in the beginning of that clip. And I. I do have to say Conan visited his parents constantly. So, I mean, he was always. Anytime he was on the east coast, he stopped by Boston. So it's.

[Sona Movsesian]

He made them do selfies with him as well. All right, this next segment is called Conan Tries Sona's Lip Gloss.

[Matt Gourley]

We've had a few things with my chapsticks.

[Sona Movsesian]

This one is more recent. If it's the one I'm thinking of.

[Matt Gourley]

Is this the one where I was have. I kept reapplying because it was really tasty.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

And then he basically ate a whole tube of it.

[Matt Gourley]

That's right.

[Sona Movsesian]

And I wouldn't touch the stuff.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, I know. I mean, he stuck it in his mouth, I think, and yeah, he. I don't even know where that chapstick is. I actually think I may have thrown it away.

[Sona Movsesian]

I think he ate it all.

[Matt Gourley]

That's gross. I'm a chronic lip moisturizer.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

What's that all about?

[Matt Gourley]

But the thing is, I got a new one, and I was like, this will be nice because it's like a tube.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

And then it comes off, and then I. It tastes so good. I keep licking it.

[Conan O'Brien]

So you're basically eating it. You're eating it. Sona, can I see it? Can I take a look at it? Would you hand it to me?

[Sona Movsesian]

And will you say what you called it when she was putting it on?

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, well, she kept putting it on. And I said, what is that? Say something stupid sauce. Because you sure are using it a lot. Gimme some lip. It's called. We're just giving these people a free plug.

[Matt Gourley]

We are.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you mind if I put it on right now? I promise I don't mind.

[Matt Gourley]

I really don't.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sore. I have a sore that appears monthly. Well, you knew that.

[Matt Gourley]

Why are you looking at Your hand? Are you gonna put on your hand? No. Okay. On your lip?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

It tastes good. And also, it doesn't stay on that well. I have other stuff that kind of just like, stays on.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God. This tastes fantast.

[Matt Gourley]

That's what I'm saying. I keep eating it and so.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, this is delicious. I'm not kidding. It's delicious.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my gosh.

[Matt Gourley]

Just keep it. You gotta keep it now. You have to keep it.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I'll give it back to you.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's like he's just sucking on a gogurt.

[Conan O'Brien]

This is amazing. What's in it?

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, God.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do not ingest. Oh. Now with 40% less asbestos. This is incredible. This really does. I see now why you keep applying it. Because it's very delicious. You ever put it on the finger and then use the finger to apply?

[Matt Gourley]

I don't. No. I just go straight from tube to mouth. But. But you're putting on a lot. Do you see what I mean?

[Conan O'Brien]

You know why I'm putting on a lot? I don't think I've ever moisturized my lips.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh.

[Conan O'Brien]

Not once have you ever seen me moisturize my lips in all the years you've known me. I. I Do you moisturize your lips?

[Sona Movsesian]

I always have a chapstick with me.

[Conan O'Brien]

I never do. I don't. Eduardo, never do that. It's foreign to me.

[Adam Sachs]

So.

[Matt Gourley]

Your lips are so shiny right now.

[Conan O'Brien]

They should be that. You know what? Draw attention to the mouth. They so shiny.

[Sona Movsesian]

I've got two chapsticks with me for some reason.

[Conan O'Brien]

Weird. But why? I don't know if I'm doing something wrong, but, Eduardo, back me up.

[Sona Movsesian]

I don't participate in that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I don't. I just think, well, we're in the world. We didn't. When we evolved from the great ape. He did not moisturize his lips, so.

[Sona Movsesian]

Then you don't need to use sunscreen.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, okay. That's just. That's cruel. That's going after my disability.

[Matt Gourley]

That is. That is. Wait, you're. Oh, my God. You're putting on so much of it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God.

[Sona Movsesian]

This is disconcerting.

[Matt Gourley]

But you know what? The thing is, I. I laugh a lot and I.

[Conan O'Brien]

If you can see this on video.

[Sona Movsesian]

Don't. Don't zoom in, zoom in.

[Matt Gourley]

Skip it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Help me. Help me.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God. With your, like, five o'clock shadow.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm over moisturized. God, you should lube up. What does it taste like, though? What's that?

[Sona Movsesian]

What does it taste like?

[Conan O'Brien]

Try it. Go ahead. No, no, no. Come on, it's fine. No, listen, the sore I get erupts once.

[Matt Gourley]

Take it with your finger.

[Sona Movsesian]

Just don't even open it.

[Brendan Burns]

Just try it, you coward.

[Conan O'Brien]

Put it on.

[Brendan Burns]

Eduardo.

[Conan O'Brien]

Come on, Eduardo, I promise you.

[Brendan Burns]

Talk, dude. Eduardo, don't be a little. Did you ever kiss Conan on the mouth? Come on.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, Eduardo, I'm telling you, I.

[Sona Movsesian]

Where do I lick?

[Matt Gourley]

Just lick it. It's for your lips.

[Conan O'Brien]

Put on your lips, but then lick your lips.

[Matt Gourley]

Really good.

[Conan O'Brien]

Lick your lips.

[Matt Gourley]

I mean, it has a tint.

[Conan O'Brien]

Eduardo, lick your lips. Look at that.

[Sona Movsesian]

What's it taste like?

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know.

[Sona Movsesian]

I've never used lip balm before. I don't know if this is what it normally.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know why this is. This is why Eduardo's never been hired to do an infomercial. Try this amazing new product. What do you think, Eduardo? I don't really want to try it. No, Eduardo. It's the amazing new lip balm. Try it on your lips. I'll just put a tiny bit. But, Eduardo, doesn't it feel good? I don't know.

[Sona Movsesian]

I didn't say it was bad.

[Conan O'Brien]

I just, you know, I didn't say it was bad. Oh, great. You heard it from Eduardo. He didn't say it was bad. Call 1-800-555-2525 and get your not so bad lip balm. What is your problem? And it's delicious.

[Matt Gourley]

It is.

[Conan O'Brien]

I've seen that. Seriously, you keep it and don't worry about whatever sores I may have. I don't.

[Matt Gourley]

I'm not. Nobody puts it in their mouth. It's like it's. I don't want it after that.

[Sona Movsesian]

Why?

[Conan O'Brien]

What are you afraid of? Be honest.

[Matt Gourley]

I don't want your. Is all over.

[Conan O'Brien]

I know, but what do you. What do you worry as I was.

[Sona Movsesian]

Forever tied to that, too. If you just.

[Matt Gourley]

I know. Have you, like, rod, like deep throating my.

[Conan O'Brien]

Did you say raw Dogging it.

[Matt Gourley]

I said raw dog and I was like, that's not the right one. Then I changed it to deep throating, which is what you were doing.

[Conan O'Brien]

I didn't deep throat it. I know what deep throating is.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes, well, you definitely flated it.

[Matt Gourley]

You blew my chest.

[Conan O'Brien]

I have never, ever fellated a penis. That and that, I promise you, that's the Conan guarantee.

[Matt Gourley]

With the lip gloss.

[Conan O'Brien]

You heard it here.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, God.

[Conan O'Brien]

I've never fellated a penis that small.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, God.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, my God.

[Sona Movsesian]

And then we've come to find out. He did tell us after the recording.

[Matt Gourley]

He has he has. He has.

[Conan O'Brien]

That.

[Sona Movsesian]

That was not true.

[Matt Gourley]

That had a. What did you. He's like, I don't participate in that.

[Sona Movsesian]

What listeners would have never seen is that Adam's in the background, too, having never even been this point, whether he wants to try just shaking his head, going, no.

[Conan O'Brien]

I made the rounds.

[Matt Gourley]

I looked after.

[Sona Movsesian]

By then, especially getting the fourth person.

[Matt Gourley]

It did make the round.

[Eduardo Perez]

Conan's whole mouth was on that thing.

[Sona Movsesian]

You and you have French kissed Conan over.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, God.

[Eduardo Perez]

Was it last year that he asked Julia Louis Dreyfus to put on her lipstick?

[Sona Movsesian]

That's right.

[Eduardo Perez]

There's something going on.

[Matt Gourley]

Well, and he did that remote in Texas when he was doing. Was it Mary Kay, where he put makeup. There's this insane image of him, and I think I've seen it in a gift. Like, someone's probably sent it to me where he looks like a crazy person peering through a window and he's got, like, lipstick all over his face. Right. Am I wrong?

[Brendan Burns]

You're absolutely right.

[Matt Gourley]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Brendan Burns]

And it haunts my dreams every night.

[Sona Movsesian]

I didn't even know the context of that. I've just seen that picture, and it is harrowing.

[Matt Gourley]

You should watch that remote he did where he meets with women who sell Mary Kay products. And it's. It sounds really, really funny.

[Sona Movsesian]

I mean, we don't even really talk about it on this show, but I've always been a Conan fan, and I've seen most of, if not all of these remotes at some time or another.

[Matt Gourley]

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. His remotes, I think, are pretty legendary. And, you know, that one is a really funny one.

[Sona Movsesian]

I also. This has never come up on the show. I submitted a packet to be a writer on his show.

[Matt Gourley]

You did?

[Sona Movsesian]

Because I knew Todd Levin, and he asked me.

[Matt Gourley]

You're kidding me.

[Sona Movsesian]

We've never talked about it on the show.

[Conan O'Brien]

Girls.

[Matt Gourley]

You would have been a really good writer on the. On the show because you just have, like, such a similar sensibility.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, I didn't get hired, so.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, well. O. You know what? Sweeney's here. We should just ask him why he never hired me.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, yeah, let's. Let's go straight to the source.

[Conan O'Brien]

So you like to travel. You like to go away and have a good time?

[Matt Gourley]

I do. I like taking the boys and Tack and I go somewhere.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

For the holidays this year, we're thinking about, you know, just taking a trip to, you know, Lake Arrowhead for. For a week or something. You know, just somewhere nearby.

[Conan O'Brien]

Lake Arrowhead. That'd be beautiful.

[Matt Gourley]

It would.

[Conan O'Brien]

And Then it occurred to me recently, what happens? Cause you've got a lovely home. You guys have a beautiful home. You've done a very nice restoration on it. What happens to your home when you guys are away?

[Matt Gourley]

It just sits there. It just sits there.

[Conan O'Brien]

It shouldn't. Think about it. If you host. Okay. If you host with Airbnb while you're away, it's basically like you're getting paid to travel.

[Matt Gourley]

Exactly.

[Conan O'Brien]

I mean, it's genius.

[Matt Gourley]

I know.

[Conan O'Brien]

So don't leave money on the table the next time you're out of town. When you're away, your home could be an Air B&B.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's a cool idea. Think about it.

[Matt Gourley]

I will.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I've got good ideas. Your home, AKA your future Airbnb might be worth more than you think. I think yours would be worth a lot. Cause you guys did a beautiful job on it.

[Matt Gourley]

Thank you. I hope so.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Find out how much your home's [e-mail] host not easy picking out a gift for love when you want to get it just right. I think finding the perfect gift can be overwhelming. It's stressful this time of year. You always want to make sure you're giving gifts that people actually want. I hate when I give someone a gift and I see them throw it in the trash after I've handed it.

[Matt Gourley]

To them, they don't even return it. They just toss it in the trash.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, Well, a lot of times I give people rolled up newspaper, so it's quite my own fault. This year, give timeless gifts made from premium materials with quince. You love quince.

[Matt Gourley]

I really love quince.

[Conan O'Brien]

Quince lets you treat your loved ones and yourself to everyday luxury at an affordable price. Super soft fleece sweatpants are a major upgrade to whatever you're lounging in right now. They're packable. Puffer jackets are perfect for anyone who's traveling for the holidays. Hey, Sona, what's your favorite thing on quints right now?

[Matt Gourley]

You know what? They actually, they have these cashmere sweaters.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God.

[Matt Gourley]

And usually cashmere sweaters are a lot of money. You could get them for like 50 bucks at quints. And they're really good material. They're so comfortable. They're so soft. I really love quint.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, hint, hint. I know what I'm getting you.

[Matt Gourley]

I love quints. And I circled the one I really like and want.

[Conan O'Brien]

Just leave it on.

[Matt Gourley]

Just leave it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Leave it on my desk. Yeah, leave it on my desk and then I'll get it for my wife. Gift luxury this holiday season without the luxury price tag. Go to quince.comconan for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q U I n c e.com conan to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com conan God, I'm looking forward to the holiday party this year. We have a staff holiday party that is and I'm gonna use. It's a new term that the kids use. You probably haven't heard it before. Off da hook. Oh, and. Oh, no. Yep. Just heard that on the street the other day.

[Matt Gourley]

That's right.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I love our party. And one of the things I love about it is we always elevate it with Miller Lite. I like it when things taste like Miller Time. I do. It's the taste you can depend on. No games, no gimmicks. Miller Lite's brewed for taste. It hits different than any other light beers. And here's the clue, right? You're thinking like, how do they do it? It's simple ingredients. Sometimes people are doing a beer and they're like, oh, we'll add oregano.

[Matt Gourley]

Hey, I have an idea.

[Conan O'Brien]

There's a spice I found. I found a spice in Middle Earth. No, that's so simple. Simple ingredients. Malted barley for rich balanced toffee note flavors and that iconic golden color. It's the original light beer since 1975 when Red Sox won the pennant. And it's still the best one. We all get together. We're around the fire pit. We're having a good time and we're quaffing. We're drinking down those Miller lights. Glug, glug, glug, glug. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Making memories at year end gatherings with your staff, whether it's Chaz Billington, Phil Rockingham, Stu Mulaney, Bix Tazenhazer. Tastes like Miller time. Go to millerlight.comconan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Tastes like Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Fewer calories and carbs than premium regular beer.

[Sona Movsesian]

This next one, oh boy. His soda. This is called soda is a. I.

[Matt Gourley]

Don'T want to do this one. I listen recently my mom, after we watch this clip, you'll understand this more. I mean, I love it.

[Sona Movsesian]

I don't want to do this one. But after we watch the clip.

[Matt Gourley]

I know I don't want to do this one because my mom did come up to me and she's like, you need to tell everybody what a great woman your great grandma was. Because I made her sound like a crazy.

[Sona Movsesian]

I'm sorry, we don't have time for that. No, go ahead. This is the time.

[Matt Gourley]

No, she was my great grandma who I made used to make cry just for funsies was actually a really incredible human being. And you know, I, I. Okay, well, so your mom has seen this? She has. I don't even know how. She never talks to me about like, hey, I saw you talk about this thing on the podcast. It's just like every once in a while she brings it up. So I don't know if someone sent it to her or if she just watches it and just doesn't want to talk to me about the things that I say.

[Sona Movsesian]

Wow.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah. Which they could possibly be the second one because she doesn't like some of the things about.

[Sona Movsesian]

Roll it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sona, you lived with.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh my. Yeah, your grandparents. Yeah, Yaya. And they both lived into their 90s.

[Conan O'Brien]

Into their 90s.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And they came from, they came from Istanbul. Yes.

[Matt Gourley]

And I mean, my grandpa started. He was a butcher when he was 12. Like they just put him to work really early.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Matt Gourley]

So it's like the idea that you are trusting a 12 year old with slaughtering animals just feels like a completely different world.

[Conan O'Brien]

But also just the fact that then they come to this country and they're living with you and it's. You're going out to in n out to grab a burger.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And whatever else you're up to. It's just this amazing clash of cultures. I find that stuff fascinating.

[Matt Gourley]

Well, my great grandma also lived with us and she was old as shit. She was really old.

[Conan O'Brien]

You don't say old as shit.

[Matt Gourley]

She was really, really old. And I remember she was this old wrinkly lady. And I was really young. I was maybe like 10. And my mom's like, she's going to sleep in your room. And I that it. From then on, I was terrified of the dark because I thought she was like a old witch lady. And she was just.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wait, when you say she was, what did you say? Old as shit.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

How old is old as shit?

[Matt Gourley]

She was, I mean, when I was, she was 10, she was like 95.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because there are young comedians out there that now see me and go, you're old as. So it's all, it's all relative.

[Matt Gourley]

That's right. I was 10, and she was 60.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, seriously, how old do you think she was?

[Matt Gourley]

She's 95. Yeah, but she was like, an old, wrinkly lady, and I was young, and I was like, why is this old person in my room? And I. I got terrified of them.

[Conan O'Brien]

You sound like an awful grandchild.

[Matt Gourley]

I was really bad.

[Conan O'Brien]

I love this, like, old and wrinkled. Why is that in my room?

[Matt Gourley]

I have. We did something else. I don't want to. I shouldn't.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, we got her now.

[Matt Gourley]

This is really bad. So she had a son who passed away that no one told her passed away. And then my uncle, who was still in Istanbul, and we'd hold up two fingers and be like, mezi. You know, touch one of them. And we would. She would touch him and be like, oh, that's, you know, Pejo Dai Dai, who was my uncle. And she'd just instantly start crying, and we thought it was.

[Conan O'Brien]

So wait, I understand what was happening here.

[Matt Gourley]

Because we kept reminding her of these people she hadn't seen in a long time, and we'd instantly make her cry, and Danny and I were like, let's go make Mendy cry.

[Sona Movsesian]

Whoa.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God. You're a. You're a monster. You're a sociopath. How is that.

[Matt Gourley]

We were just fascinated with her instant, like, sadness.

[Sona Movsesian]

I thought you were the true sociopath, but it's you.

[Matt Gourley]

I really was. Menzie.

[Sona Movsesian]

What a twist.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, no. I. To be fair, I did it to my grandmother. Marty, too. I used to go, remember that. That loved one that perished. It was fun. We used to call it. It was the old fun. We called it the Parish game. Hey, let's go play Parish, and we go into Monty's room. Remember the one you loved who perished? Look at them. Waterworks. You're an awful, awful person.

[Matt Gourley]

No, no joke. That was really bad.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, you're bad.

[Matt Gourley]

It was bad. We would make her laugh just for.

[Conan O'Brien]

All right, well, listen. Let's have some good conversation.

[Sona Movsesian]

You don't need to clarify. No joke.

[Matt Gourley]

We would make her cry just for fun.

[Conan O'Brien]

Let's have some good come out of this. If you're listening right now and you're tempted to go mock a very, very old relative by reminding them of someone they lost long ago. Think twice. Yeah, that's a little word from Conan O'Brien. Needs a friend.

[Sona Movsesian]

What if one day your great grandchildren come up to you and you're old and wrinkly and sleeping in their bedroom and start doing this to you? Will you laugh?

[Matt Gourley]

I'll be so Old. Look, I think. Did you ever do anything when you were younger where you're like, that's a shitty thing. Like, I used to egg houses, and now I'm like, that's not cool.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, we would play. Did you ever play Dead Man?

[Matt Gourley]

No.

[Sona Movsesian]

Where you'd lie half in the street, half on the curb like you're dead and wait for a car to drive by and stop and go, like, are you okay? And all the other kids are hiding in the bushes listening.

[Conan O'Brien]

No.

[Sona Movsesian]

And you just go, no. I'm just looking at the stars, Matt.

[Matt Gourley]

Really?

[Sona Movsesian]

Don't act so surprised. That's nowhere near what you did. No.

[Matt Gourley]

That is so bad. Look, my mom unfortunately saw this clip. My mom, that was. That's my mom's grandma Medzik. She's my great grandma. She was an incredible woman. I can't believe I called her oldest. And I think that that's a terrible word usage that I had, but I. She was an incredible, incredible lady. I do feel bad. I think I just kind of said it in a flippant way, but I do feel bad that I used to make her cry just for fun, which is an awful thing to do.

[Sona Movsesian]

How old were you?

[Matt Gourley]

I was like, I think I was around 10 or 11.

[Sona Movsesian]

And it is so definitely old enough to know better.

[Matt Gourley]

You know what? That's the thing. I was old enough to know better.

[Sona Movsesian]

I think people are hearing you, your true self, right now.

[Matt Gourley]

Yes, Yes. I do think, like, the older I get too, the more I realize I can cry very easily. So I think that we were just kind of like, look at her. Have emotions just from us saying a name. And I feel like now as a, you know, a human, I would be like, I shouldn't do that.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's kind of true. Most kids are sociopaths. And then you learn empathy as you have trauma come upon you. Oh, my God, again, don't act so shocked.

[Matt Gourley]

Look, if there's any 10 or 11 year olds left listening, and you have a great grandma who can cry very easily, like, just don't do it. Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I'm glad we cleared that up. Oh, geez.

[Matt Gourley]

That was hard to watch. That was hard to watch.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's hard to be a partner sometimes. This next one is Conan's Hot Ones recap. This was quite a moment in the pop culture in last year. And then we. We got to have Conan just kind of recap his experience on Hot Ones where he broke the system.

[Matt Gourley]

I. I don't even like. This is. This was a fun moment for our podcast, but The Hot Ones episode, I think in terms of Conan's career, was probably one of the most unhinged, just funniest things I think I've ever seen him do. But, yeah, and it was really. It was incredible how many people were talking about him after that. And so, yeah, this one. This one's really funny.

[Sona Movsesian]

Let's listen.

[Matt Gourley]

How are you?

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm doing great.

[Matt Gourley]

Are you?

[Conan O'Brien]

I am.

[Matt Gourley]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

A lot of people are asking me, how do I feel?

[Matt Gourley]

Cause you ate a lot of spicy food on Hot Ones.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, I went on the show Hot Ones, and I did not. I was aware of the show, obviously. It's a very successful show. I hadn't really. Can't say I was an expert on the show. I went in thinking, well, whatever happens, I just have to eat all the wings and just go for it and make a fool of myself. And so I kind of had that plan in mind, but didn't know much beyond that. The host. Very good. Excellent. I like that guy a lot. He's a very good interviewer.

[Matt Gourley]

He is.

[Conan O'Brien]

He's a really good interviewer, and they do a really good job on that show. So Sean's asking me questions, and I was just determined to just keep stuffing these wings in no matter what. And then, of course, me being me, I start drinking the sauce and rubbing it around on my face and my chest and everything and the whole. And I've. So when I walk around now, because a lot of people have seen this, people keep asking me if I'm okay.

[Sona Movsesian]

I wonder the same thing. Well, I also just watched Conan Must Go, which is fantastic, by the way. And in Thailand, you get pretty floored, albeit comedy comedically, by some sauce. So I thought, you're gonna go down. When I see Hot Ones.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. No. Well, we played that up for comedy and then. And you're allowed to. In a sketch world or comedy world, you can fake things a little bit. I'm aware, yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

Comedy world. Really?

[Conan O'Brien]

I really. When I look at you two, I think an explanation might be in order.

[Sona Movsesian]

So what's the deal? Do you not have taste buds or something? How did you do that?

[Matt Gourley]

I have never seen you eat spicy food.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't eat spicy food.

[Matt Gourley]

You know, there's people who, like, put Tabasco or Tapatio on stuff. I've had so many meals with you, and I've never seen you eat spicy food.

[Sona Movsesian]

I have a theory is that the only thing worse than that amount of thermal spice would be you not somehow getting the attention that eating all of that would give you yes. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And all joking aside. And also I've had a bunch of people posit that I have the red haired gene, which is there's a. You know, when I go to the dentist and they give me novocaine, they then go to drill and it's like, I haven't had novocaine. And I'm always saying I feel everything right now. And they always say, oh yeah, you're a redhead. I don't know if that's. But I've had many dentists say that to me and they give me a lot more and they say the redheads have whatever higher pain threshold or something. I don't know what it is.

[Sona Movsesian]

Meaning you feel less pain. You feel more pain.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, you don't feel. I don't know exactly how it works. And I'm just freewheeling here. I just know what I've been told by people. I don't think it's it. I think you have it, Matt, which is I've always been, if I think something will be funny, I'll do it and deal with it later.

[Sona Movsesian]

And did you?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I did deal with it later. I was dealt with later.

[Sona Movsesian]

How did it manifest itself?

[Conan O'Brien]

I spot welded an iron. I spot welded.

[Matt Gourley]

We're all thinking the same thing.

[Conan O'Brien]

I spot welded. I wanted it to be useful.

[Sona Movsesian]

And how much did you shit?

[Matt Gourley]

How much did your butter.

[Conan O'Brien]

Here's what I decided to do and.

[Sona Movsesian]

Do you have butt taste buds?

[Conan O'Brien]

Here's what I decided to do. I decided that I wanted, after I ingested all that, I wanted it to be useful. So I found a construction site where they were doing spot welding. And I went there and I said, gentlemen, if you want, I can weld these girders for you in about, I'm guessing about 15 minutes. You'll need to avert your eyes because I'll be dropping my pants. And they said, okay. And I said, I will need someone to stay behind and light it and then we'll be all set to go. So there's a building in the Mid Wilshire district that's going up. And I think I did about 65 rivets in the building. And people were driving by saying, Conan O'Brien, his pants are around his ankles and I think fire is shooting out of his ass and he's welding a building. And here's the biggest problem. I had to join the union, but that way everybody wins. There's a building, and trust me, that section of the building will never fall. That's the best. And they've had an engineer Say whoever did this, these are heat temperatures we've never seen.

[Matt Gourley]

So every time you're gonna weld something, you just have to eat a lot of hot wings.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. I'm in the union now and all I have to do is I've got all the sauces from hot ones.

[Sona Movsesian]

You are the saddest X man ever.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Meet the X Men.

[Sona Movsesian]

Really? He's on the X Men. What do we do with him?

[Conan O'Brien]

His name's Asweld. What's this? Super. And I just. And you know what it is? I have a bandolier. And instead of, instead of ammunition, it's just sauces. And they're like, what are we gonna do? How are we gonna get out of this thing? The bad guys have sealed us in. This leads. Lead safe. Hold on a second.

[Matt Gourley]

Just to pull your pants down.

[Conan O'Brien]

You have to pull your pants down.

[Matt Gourley]

Does your uniform have a compartment?

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, yeah, the uniform has.

[Sona Movsesian]

And like a union suit. The little thing, little flap. You.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, it's actually, it's a very tiny flap that's the exact circumference of an anus. It's a tiny circle that unflaps and then just a beam of the whitest light you've ever seen comes out of phosphorus. A phosphorus. Yeah. And everyone has to put on welding goggles.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, God. Do you see what I'm doing? I'm really raising my ass out of the chair because I feel like I'm just having psychosomatic symptoms of that or something.

[Matt Gourley]

You know what? I think you asked the question everybody was thinking after hot ones, which is like, yeah, how'd it come out? Right?

[Sona Movsesian]

He joked, but we don't really know. Maybe that's true.

[Matt Gourley]

You know, maybe, maybe it's true that he welded a building maybe with his butt.

[Brendan Burns]

The reason why I love that clip is that I think more than most clips shows how good Conan is at improv. I mean, he took basically a thing of like, yeah, my stomach is upset and my butt was burning and turned it into like a movie like that. Like, it was like a three act structure and a character.

[Sona Movsesian]

Fully developed character.

[Brendan Burns]

That's right.

[Sona Movsesian]

That had to join the union.

[Brendan Burns]

Exactly. I mean, just so many amazing. I mean, truly, it was just like a one man show.

[Eduardo Perez]

So that's a lovely.

[Matt Gourley]

And how many welding terms he just randomly just pulls out of his ass. Yeah. Pun intended.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well done.

[Matt Gourley]

Thank you. I have to say I. I haven't watched these since we recorded them either. But so it's. This is really fun.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

We should do this more often. I Agree. We should just watch ourselves.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah. Do you want to come over later and watch me?

[Matt Gourley]

Watch you?

[Sona Movsesian]

Just me.

[Matt Gourley]

You edited yourself out of every video, and there's just a big, gorely video out there.

[Eduardo Perez]

We knew we wanted to have, like, some reference to Hot Ones, you know, in this because that, like, you said, such a big moment. What we couldn't really fit into this episode was the Dr. Arroyo special.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, my gosh.

[Sona Movsesian]

Cause it's just so long.

[Eduardo Perez]

It's so long, and it's consistent, and it contains what I think might be the funniest line of the year on this podcast, which is when he says, Dr. Arroyo, I want you to come and take my pulse. And then you start choking me.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then.

[Eduardo Perez]

And Dr. Arroyo, Jose Arroyo, hilarious writer, says, I thought you wanted me to take your pulse.

[Sona Movsesian]

Take your pulse. Take your pulse.

[Eduardo Perez]

Take it away.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, God, that guy is so funny. Well, as brilliant as Conan is at improv, he's not a great arm wrestler.

[Matt Gourley]

He's weak. He's a weak little man.

[Brendan Burns]

This also, I think, out of maybe all the segments we've done this year, is the most chaotic.

[Sona Movsesian]

I'm trying to remember all I can remember from this. This is utter victory. That's the only thing I remember. So I'm excited to see this.

[Brendan Burns]

Then you're in for a treat.

[Matt Gourley]

Did you really think he would ever beat you? I knew you were gonna win.

[Sona Movsesian]

Did you really?

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

I don't know. I don't know, because he is. I don't know about his physicality, but he has a willpower like no human I've ever met before. So sometimes that's all you need, you know?

[Matt Gourley]

But I also. He's. He is a very strong person, too. I mean, he works out, but I also know that he would put too much thought into it.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, interesting.

[Matt Gourley]

And he'd be like, in his own head.

[Sona Movsesian]

Or I'm just all animal magnetism.

[Matt Gourley]

You're just D. Jock. And you're like, yeah, let's go.

[Sona Movsesian]

And then I went home to my cheerleaders.

[Matt Gourley]

Classic Matt.

[Sona Movsesian]

Classic. All right, let's roll this. I want to see this. Maybe we'll watch it twice.

[Conan O'Brien]

This is what we were just talking about. I made a declaration that I'm pretty sure I could take anybody in this room in a physical fight. Except I said, blay, I don't think I could take you because you work out all the time.

[Sona Movsesian]

Thank you very much.

[Matt Gourley]

You could.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't think I could, but. And then everyone started to get into it. Like, no, you couldn't. You Couldn't take Eduardo.

[Sona Movsesian]

You said more than that. Yeah. You said, I'd fight you without my hands.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, Well, I know that you're a huge.

[Sona Movsesian]

And I still think he'd win.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, no, I think you're a huge. You're a huge soccer fan. You love Lionel Messi. It's Lionel, by the way. And I just think you're probably like in the back of your mind, think, I can't use my hands. I've got to get him with my feet. And then I just lay you out, out, you know, and then Adam, I'm sorry, but I just. It would be over very quickly.

[Sona Movsesian]

I disagree.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

I think Adam's the. The quiet prize fighter, you know?

[Conan O'Brien]

Have you been in many physical fights?

[Eduardo Perez]

Very few.

[Conan O'Brien]

Very few.

[Matt Gourley]

Very few.

[Eduardo Perez]

Said Sona, I think, rightfully said that she couldn't see me getting, like, working up enough rage.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I think first of all, you remind me. And the listener is probably thinking, well, we can't picture this Adam Sachs. Imagine a milder Michael Cera.

[Sona Movsesian]

No.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is that fair? Like even milder and not as strong like a Michael. Like, Michael Cera is, like on steroids compared to. No, no.

[Sona Movsesian]

But Adam's tall and lithe, I think.

[Eduardo Perez]

Do you want to arm wrestle across the table?

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

Come on.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I can't. This rotator.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, really? I'd like to see this. My money's on this guy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, wait a minute. Whoever wins an arm wrestling struggle does not win the fight.

[Eduardo Perez]

No, I'm just saying it is a one indicator. It doesn't mean I'm. I would beat you in a fight, but it would. It means I'd beat you in a single, you know, feat of strength.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, this thing's in the way. No, but listen, let's keep the conversation going for a bit first, okay? And then we'll see if this so called test of fighting aptitude. And it gets us there, you know? So every time you're in a stressful situation, or let's say you're walking down the street with your wife and some thug stands in the way and says, give me your money, you're gonna say, we'll arm wrestle and see who gets my gold? Is that what you'll say?

[Eduardo Perez]

It's. I mean, it came to mind. We can figure out other ways to test our strength.

[Conan O'Brien]

I fight you, but you're blindfolded. I mean, I'm. Can't do that.

[Eduardo Perez]

You know, mic'd up. It's easier to sit at the table.

[Conan O'Brien]

And what about now, Matt? When you see Me. When you see you coming after me, I know you're. And stuff, but come on. I mean, look at. Look at this guy. This.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, you look great. You're super fit. Free range. And I want to say this. The only thing I've got going in my corner is a desperate need to prove something to you. My father figure.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

And so that might be enough to take me over the top.

[Conan O'Brien]

Also, I'm betting, just because I know you got a lot of flea markets and you love to buy weird things. I bet you have a Flemish suit.

[Sona Movsesian]

Of armor at home and probably some kind of antique brass knuckle. Oh, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you have.

[Sona Movsesian]

With that knife, cane.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, you have all kinds of weapons, ironically. I bet you have those.

[Sona Movsesian]

What's an ironic.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, you know, like a bumber shoot that has a little.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's what I just said.

[Conan O'Brien]

A little knife that comes out.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's what I literally just said.

[Conan O'Brien]

I know, but it comes out. But one that has, like, a James Bond.

[Sona Movsesian]

What I just said.

[Conan O'Brien]

You didn't say one that has a little knife that comes out, did you? I did. Did he say that?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, I think I would lose this fight. I wouldn't even know I was in a fight. I'm telling you, as my body grows stronger, and it does every day, ladies, I think my mind is good. I didn't hear you say that. But then again, I was yelling at you, and I wasn't really listening.

[Sona Movsesian]

You need your mind. You. You know, you can't just be fleet of foot. You need your mind in a fight, you know?

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah. And coordination. You have no coordination. You have no coordination.

[Sona Movsesian]

Get to the bigger thing. And I think Sona could take you.

[Matt Gourley]

I can easily take you.

[Conan O'Brien]

And, you know, you would have the rage. You know what?

[Matt Gourley]

I do have the rage.

[Conan O'Brien]

I will say this. An angry Sona beats everyone in this room.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

I think we're all.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I've seen you when your blood is up, and you are the Khaleesi. It's. It's insane. The dragons, the whole thing, you're just.

[Matt Gourley]

But you don't have. Yes, you are a strong.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I have a lot of inner rage.

[Matt Gourley]

You do. But you also. You don't have very much coordination. And I think you'd be doing a lot of bits and putting the pen and be like, hey, mustache pen.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. Yes. I would do bits as I fought, which I think is very impressive. I managed to do bits when I fight people.

[Matt Gourley]

I don't think that is impressive. And I think you get beaten. Beaten Up.

[Sona Movsesian]

Unless it's a distracting tactic.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, it wouldn't be distracting. It's a lot of me using glasses. If I have a pen, I make it a mustache. Or I make it like I'm a walrus with one.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, you do. With one tusk.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm the walrus with one tusk.

[Sona Movsesian]

You know, there's only one way to decide this, and that is right now.

[Matt Gourley]

Fight club.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah. Battle Royale. Six of us.

[Eduardo Perez]

Why don't you guys go right now?

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, so.

[Sona Movsesian]

Jesus. What. What are you doing?

[Conan O'Brien]

Trying to swing at you already.

[Matt Gourley]

I feel like I don't know anything about arm wrestling technique, but I could.

[Conan O'Brien]

I know. I know nothing about arm wrestling, all right? And I don't think it's a chest of strength.

[Sona Movsesian]

All right, on your marks.

[Conan O'Brien]

And wait. We hold these hands. Ready?

[Matt Gourley]

Wait, what are you guys doing? Say something.

[Conan O'Brien]

Matt reached over and held my other.

[Sona Movsesian]

Hand over the top. Rules. If we don't have the little joysticks.

[Matt Gourley]

Wait, what? But why did you hold my hand?

[Sona Movsesian]

This is what you do.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, do you want to get one milkshake and two straws?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, how about we both. We. We both start on different ends of a strand of spaghetti and move our way to the middle?

[Sona Movsesian]

Have you people never arm wrestled with someone you loved dearly and wanted to get close?

[Conan O'Brien]

And can I say something else? Sona, give me your hand. He held my hand. And he did a little bit of that. There was a little bit of a wrestle. God, no.

[Matt Gourley]

What are you doing?

[Sona Movsesian]

You do this.

[Matt Gourley]

No, that. That's on the side. That's not in the middle. That's on the side for your arm to go.

[Eduardo Perez]

That's blocking.

[Brendan Burns]

A disagreement is broken out in chess.

[Conan O'Brien]

Club is what's happening the weirdest I have seen. My microphone is over here.

[Sona Movsesian]

What are you doing with this hand?

[Matt Gourley]

Hold on.

[Sona Movsesian]

Here we go.

[Matt Gourley]

Technique before.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. What? Okay, but.

[Matt Gourley]

Ah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. He's. Wait a minute. You're on this side of the table pushing that way.

[Sona Movsesian]

Way.

[Brendan Burns]

Gorley won easily.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, but you saw what he did. You're on, like, this side of the table. There's no way.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, let's switch places then.

[Conan O'Brien]

Like arm wrestling. No, just stay there. But get here. Here we go.

[Sona Movsesian]

Ready?

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

One to one. One to one to one.

[Sona Movsesian]

Hold his other hand.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm not doing shit. And I go. You okay? What happened? What the fuck's wrong with you? What the fuck is wrong with you? Can't you arm wrestle?

[Brendan Burns]

Oh, my God.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God. Look at that he broke my skin with a pen.

[Conan O'Brien]

Here's the thing. Dirty you poison ripped umbrella. When I said I would win, what I'm telling you is I would win. I would use anything in the room to win.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, you know what? You would. I think you would. I think you're the best. Like, cheater.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't call it cheating. Is it cheating when Jason Bourne uses. He uses something in the kitchen? When the Russian attacks him and beats him? That's cheating.

[Sona Movsesian]

He does use a pen, but he uses the pointy nib. And you just took, like, the blunt, curvy nib.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because I didn't look at that, Matt. I didn't want to hurt you. Do you realize if I had used the sharp. I thought about that.

[Sona Movsesian]

You did. You could have killed me.

[Conan O'Brien]

I would. Like my dream is that all of you attack me at once.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's my dream too.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Matt Gourley]

I think that's so weird. I think we all have the same dream. Oh, wow.

[Sona Movsesian]

Still feels good after all this time, part two.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, exactly. Adam.

[Sona Movsesian]

Adam.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

No one will.

[Eduardo Perez]

I forgot how much he went after. He just totally described missed.

[Sona Movsesian]

I think we need to have a tournament. Like, have you guys ever seen over the top, the Stallone movie? And that's what I'm talking about when I reference those joysticks. When you do professional arm wrestling. And so when you're doing it at truck stops, like I often am, you have to grab each other's hands underneath. That's how you do it.

[Matt Gourley]

Okay.

[Sona Movsesian]

I defend this. And there are people online that will come to my defense on this.

[Matt Gourley]

I think the interesting thing was you just assumed Conan knew that.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's true.

[Matt Gourley]

Maybe so that you, like, went to hold his head and he just didn't understand what you were. I think nobody did. I think we were all at confusing to everybody in the room.

[Sona Movsesian]

Really?

[Eduardo Perez]

Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

You guys get out, you know, to truck stop.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

Truck stops and dive bars and honky tonks.

[Brendan Burns]

It's like a switch.

[Sona Movsesian]

Exactly. Yes.

[Brendan Burns]

He turns his hat around and that's when he goes.

[Sona Movsesian]

And we need to have a tournament. How does that work? So you just. Everybody does. Everybody arm wrestles everybody and then the winners proceed.

[Brendan Burns]

Well, it's either round robin, where we all have to.

[Matt Gourley]

It's either.

[Brendan Burns]

There's three choices.

[Matt Gourley]

Yes.

[Brendan Burns]

It's round robin, where we all arm wrestle each other, or we come up with heats into a bracket or we don't do it.

[Matt Gourley]

I think the third option is probably the best. Honestly, that was. There was so much testosterone in that.

[Sona Movsesian]

Segment, which is Rare for this room.

[Conan O'Brien]

It is.

[Matt Gourley]

That's what is so crazy, is that you guys are not like, you'll kick anyone's ass. You're not. Nobody in this room is like that. But we had an entire segment where we just talked about whether or not we could all beat up Conan.

[Brendan Burns]

I would like to do, like, maybe this summer. You know that now that we're talking about this, maybe a podcast Olympics to find out which one of us is the best podcaster. And it could be different events that aren't necessarily all, you know, who has the best pronunciation of different words. Perhaps who you know. Oh, okay.

[Sona Movsesian]

Maybe not.

[Matt Gourley]

No, I didn't. I didn't know what goes into being a good podcaster.

[Sona Movsesian]

I stand only to losing mic technique. I've almost been doing this for 20 years, and if I don't win this, I'm gonna. That's a huge embarrassment.

[Brendan Burns]

The stakes are high. I'm just saying it could lend itself to a competition.

[Matt Gourley]

Eduardo, you're right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sure.

[Sona Movsesian]

I just.

[Brendan Burns]

Thanks, buddy. What is good? You forget your retainer today?

[Sona Movsesian]

I'm a great podcaster.

[Matt Gourley]

I just love. I love your idea of like being a great podcaster is. Do you enunciate? And then do you have good mic.

[Sona Movsesian]

Technique that also felt like a Conan joke to you.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, yeah. With the hard G's.

[Brendan Burns]

Oh, I did not think of it. I was not.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, that's true. I know. Of all the things. I mean, obviously I would lose that one, cuz also.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, no, because Conan does this all the time. I'm constantly editing it out. I'm constantly editing out his.

[Brendan Burns]

Wow, you're going to lose you.

[Matt Gourley]

So you've been doing this for 20 years?

[Sona Movsesian]

Y. Y.

[Adam Sachs]

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[Conan O'Brien]

Sony, you like to travel. You like to go away and have.

[Matt Gourley]

A good Time I do. I like to taking the boys and Tack and I go somewhere for the holidays. This year, we're thinking about, you know, just taking a trip to, you know, Lake Arrowhead for. For a week or something. You know, just somewhere nearby.

[Conan O'Brien]

Lake Arrowhead. That'd be beautiful.

[Matt Gourley]

It would.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then it occurred to me recently, what happens, because you got a lovely home. You guys have a beautiful home. You've done a very nice restoration on it. What happens to your home when you guys are away?

[Matt Gourley]

It just sits there. It just sits there.

[Conan O'Brien]

It shouldn't. It shouldn't. Think about if you host. Okay. If you host with Airbnb while you're away, it's basically like you're getting paid to travel.

[Matt Gourley]

Exactly.

[Conan O'Brien]

I mean, it's genius.

[Matt Gourley]

I know.

[Conan O'Brien]

So don't leave money on the table the next time you're out of town. When you're away, your home could be an Airbnb.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's a cool idea. Think about it.

[Matt Gourley]

I will.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I've got good ideas. Your home, AKA your future. Airbnb might be worth more than you think. I think yours would be worth a lot because you guys did a beautiful job on it.

[Matt Gourley]

Thank you. I hope so.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Finally out how much your home's [e-mail] host we had a birthday party here at the office the other day, and they brought out this cake, and there was this really cool, like, flower made of frosting right in the middle of the cake. Someone scooped it out just to eat that flower. I hate that.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

That person, to me, is a villain. A true villain.

[Matt Gourley]

You should fire them.

[Conan O'Brien]

A monster. If I could. There's no camera. I can. I've looked, looked for the tape.

[Matt Gourley]

Gross.

[Conan O'Brien]

Whoever must pay. And I want to say to that person, if I found them and I saw them eating that flour that they cut out of the middle cake, I'd say, how do you sleep at night? Yeah, how do you sleep at night? And you know what? I think I know what they'd say. They'd say, mattress Firm. Yeah, that's the problem. They'd turn it into an ad.

[Matt Gourley]

It's interesting that you would know what they would say, but you have no idea what.

[Conan O'Brien]

They'd have frosting all over their mouth. And it's a mattress Firm. Rest easy with mattress firms. 120 night sleep trial. Love it or your money back. Hey, I love to hear that.

[Matt Gourley]

I love being able to give stuff back if I don't like it.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you often do. Every present I given you over the last couple of Years has ended up in the Give Bag bin. Your mattress is important for a good night's sleep, and Mattress Firm has quality mattresses at every price. For your best rest, Mattress Firm offers free and fast delivery to your door. In my day, you had to go to the mattress store and you had to carry it down the highway with your friend Eric. Not anymore. Get matched at Mattress Firm's semiannual sale and clearance and sleep at night. Text CONAN to 766693 for $100 off your next purchase at Mattress Firm. Restrictions apply. See mattressfirm.com or store for details.

[Brendan Burns]

Speaking of enunciation.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, that's right. And this was from a summer s'mores with Conzy and the Chill Chums, where we played the camp game Chubby Bunny, which, like, holding hands under the arm wrestling. You guys didn't know or Conan didn't know?

[Matt Gourley]

I didn't know about Chubby Bunny.

[Sona Movsesian]

You guys, you gotta get to summer camp.

[Matt Gourley]

Well, here's the thing. I remember. I remember you talking about how you learned about Chubby Bunny at summer camp. But then I feel like shortly after, you were saying you never went to summer camp.

[Sona Movsesian]

I learned about it when I taught at an improv summer camp at Biola Bible College.

[Eduardo Perez]

Wait, is this the same. Is this when you were also talking about when you kept getting homesick? When you were.

[Sona Movsesian]

That was a different improv camp that I taught in.

[Eduardo Perez]

You were saying that you were homesick at camp, and then it turned out you were not a camp camper. You were homesick.

[Sona Movsesian]

I was a fully grown adult.

[Matt Gourley]

You said Viola. Wait, so that's not even. You weren't even that far from where you.

[Sona Movsesian]

La Mirada and I lived in Whittier, the next town over. No, I lived in Long beach at the time.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, that's better.

[Sona Movsesian]

Also, this was improv camp that was not affiliated with the Bible college. It just rented the thing. But there's. On that campus, there's a building with a photorealistic 40 foot tall Jesus. And every time you're doing improv, you look up at this Jesus just staring down at you.

[Matt Gourley]

Is he at least laughing?

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, he's got a mouthful of marshmallows. All right, let's roll it. When you guys were at camp, did you ever play Chubby Bunny?

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know what that is.

[Sona Movsesian]

You don't?

[Matt Gourley]

I don't know what that is.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay, we don't have to do this, but this was just an idea that came up when we were discussing this season. What happens is everybody takes a marshmallow you put it in your mouth, and you say the words Chubby Bunny. And then we take turns adding a marshmallow each time until someone can't say Chubby Bunny anymore, and they're out.

[Matt Gourley]

All right.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay.

[Matt Gourley]

Can we eat the marshmallow?

[Sona Movsesian]

You have to keep it in your mouth.

[Matt Gourley]

All right.

[Conan O'Brien]

This is the game Marlon Brando was playing when he. When he secured. When he secured the roll for the Godfather.

[Matt Gourley]

Can I keep drinking?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

Will it dissolve the.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, no, you can't drink. You can't drink.

[Conan O'Brien]

All right, so Sona's out.

[Sona Movsesian]

Chubby Bunny, you can't swallow it. You can't chew it. You have to keep it in your mouth.

[Matt Gourley]

Let me just.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, look, let's all.

[Conan O'Brien]

Ever heard of.

[Sona Movsesian]

You've never heard of this?

[Conan O'Brien]

No. God. You grew up in a strange way.

[Sona Movsesian]

I did?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

You.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no. I have strange tales and stuff, but there was no Chubby Bunny in my. In my background.

[Sona Movsesian]

Who's played Chubby Bunny? Every hand goes out.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, my God, No.

[Conan O'Brien]

Eduardo's gave me the thumbs down.

[Sona Movsesian]

Never heard of it.

[Matt Gourley]

Never played it.

[Sona Movsesian]

Never.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, okay, all right, all right. Chubby Bunny. Wait, does that count as you saying Chubby Bunny? That didn't sound like Chubby Bunny. She's out. She's out. You. First of all, you can't articulate things when you're artic.

[Sona Movsesian]

You should go in snake order.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, Snake order. Oh, God. You all right, son?

[Matt Gourley]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

This game brought to you by Dr. Heimlich.

[Matt Gourley]

I was gonna. I was going to throw up. I was actually going to throw up. These are the biggest marshmallows of all time. Come on, girl. Stuff it in your mouth, Squirrely.

[Conan O'Brien]

Leave marshmallows.

[Matt Gourley]

Stubby Bunny, bitch.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, no, wait.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, God, there's so much spit there, girls. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. A giant mouse. This is so stupid. This is so dumb. This is the dumbest thing I've ever been a part of. I just love that you can't talk what is coming in. It's so grotesque.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, God, it's so gross.

[Matt Gourley]

Are you doing the Gettysburg dress?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, I am.

[Matt Gourley]

Which means I win.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. I said.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, God.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, more napkins.

[Matt Gourley]

How'd you guys do More than one?

[Sona Movsesian]

There's no winners in Chubby Bunny, Only losers.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know why. I have one question.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah?

[Conan O'Brien]

I developed this fastidious way of talking. I was going a Chubby A bunny. And I wasn't even trying to. But in my effort to over enunciate, it came out as a Chubby A bunny. And I wasn't trying to do that. It's just what happened. Could you tell it was the Gettysburg Address?

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, I could.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, yeah, definitely.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, there you go.

[Matt Gourley]

Also, if there's anything you're reciting, it's usually the Gettysburg Address. Tr.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, man.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh my God. Chums is so fun.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah. Cuz we get to drink.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah. Although this year, not until much later.

[Sona Movsesian]

I know.

[Matt Gourley]

And so I remember just like downing those drinks you gave us, and I got pretty hammered pretty quickly.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's nice.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, I made up for lost time.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah. Good, good. We got to change that rule for next year.

[Matt Gourley]

We do, but I don't think Conan's gonna want to.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, he doesn't have to.

[Conan O'Brien]

No.

[Matt Gourley]

Why do you guys have to get drunk and. Because he's not. He doesn't. He can't hang with us.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, he can't. That's why you and I will pregame.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

We're going to go to Pachanga Casino.

[Matt Gourley]

We're going to pregame there. Why can't we just go somewhere else?

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay, that's fine. That's fine too.

[Matt Gourley]

What was I going to say? Okay, so in order to promote the Chill Chums, because we recorded it in Altadena. Ruthie and Sam are two of the awesome people in our marketing team. Got in touch with the Altadena Chamber of Commerce. And then I ended up joining the Altadena Chamber of Commerce. And then very recently, I went to one of their events and I had a blast.

[Sona Movsesian]

Wait, don't you have to have a business to be in the Chamber of Commerce?

[Matt Gourley]

You don't. Not in Altadena at least. I just was like a normal person and I just signed up to be in the Chamber of Commerce.

[Sona Movsesian]

What do you do and what kind of blast did you have?

[Matt Gourley]

Something called the Sip and Shop. Oh, yes. And you sipped, you shopped. And then there was a live band and you could just dance and have a really nice time in Altadena.

[Sona Movsesian]

What did you sip?

[Matt Gourley]

Wine.

[Sona Movsesian]

You paused.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, I took shots.

[Sona Movsesian]

You guys Jaeger bombed.

[Matt Gourley]

We did a Jaeger bomb. Oh, man, I haven't done a Jager bomb in ages. We should do old school drinks that we don't do anymore. Like Long Island Iced Teas.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

Sex on the Beach.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah. Southern Comfort. I can't drink soco. I can't do it. Because I still remember that one time I had a house party and threw.

[Sona Movsesian]

Up Zima 4 loco.

[Matt Gourley]

4 loco. That was more recent, though.

[Sona Movsesian]

I still got some.

[Matt Gourley]

No, you don't. Do you really? I don't oh, okay. All right.

[Sona Movsesian]

All right.

[Matt Gourley]

Well, speaking of commerce.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, right. Very good. That's right. This last clip is actually not from the show itself, but an ad and it's kind of become infamous. It's the luxe bidet ad.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

Which I have to admit, I have never fully seen. I've heard about it, but when I edit, the ads are not in the episodes. They are what's called dynamically inserted later. And Mars edits the ad. So I've never really heard or seen this full thing. So I'm very excited.

[Matt Gourley]

Really? Yeah, I wasn't even, I don't if this is the one that I think is the first one. I wasn't even. Yeah, I wasn't even here for that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wow.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah. And so, so David was sitting in for me and this is, since then we've done, I think, a couple other Lux bidet ads, but this was the first one. And this one is apparently, I, I, I don't know if I've ever listened to it all the way through either.

[Eduardo Perez]

We weren't sure how Lux was going to react. And listeners will understand why after they, I think, see the clip or hear the clip. But they were so thrilled about it that they, they, you know, kept coming back and wanting more ads.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, okay. They're crazy thing. Toilet paper has no business trying to battle the mess of a large holiday meal. Bidets, on the other hand, shoot a precise life. The happened to me. I'm a good guy. I went to a good college. I worked hard. I wrote a thesis in college. I wrote a thesis. I've worked hard for years. I've raised a family. I've never gone to jail, I've never committed a crime. And here I am explaining how you gotta shoot water up your ass. That's ridiculous. Insanity. What did I do? What am I, some kind of. I don't understand. How'd this happen? Toilet paper has no business trying to battle the mess of a large holiday meal. Do you know what they're implying? They're implying that if I eat a large holiday meal, I just am gonna, my bottom's gonna explode.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's gonna be too much for any toilet paper.

[Conan O'Brien]

No toilet paper can handle that. No, you need a whole other device. I'm crying. You need a bidet that shoots water. No more smearing. It says here on the copy. No more skid marks. What happened to this? A precise stream. A precise stream. Luxe bidet. Oh, here we go. Is the number one best selling bidet brand. And I thought I Had sold out.

[Sona Movsesian]

Can I just say, they say people will laugh when they first see it.

[Conan O'Brien]

And we sure did. We haven't even seen seen it. 3 million satisfied customers across the US and over 150,000 5 star reviews on Amazon. Who uses a bidet and then says I've got to go give an Amazon review. I've checked back there seven times. Clean as a whistle.

[Matt Gourley]

This is.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm going to keep going because people are laughing too hard. Lux Bidet offers a range of patented bidet models. Oh really? Including the award winning Neoplus series. What does that do? Yeah, the bidet comes and finds you when it's time to poop. I think you should go. Really? I think you should go. That was a large burrito. Lux Bidet's Neo plus series is the next generation of bidet attachment with their reversing patented features. Features. That's right. Never before seen. This series features a 360 degree self clean mode. 360 degree self clean mode. Are people spinning around on their ass. Easy lift design, fast slide and insulation. Plus all the same features as their best selling bidet. Oh my God. Then it says, please talk about what you, why you love your luxe bidet. I don't have one, but this is my favorite ad ever. This is a fantastic ad and this is gonna go out as it is or it won't go out. Get the gifts. Your friends and family will never forget this holiday season. Hey grandma, wash your ass. Use code N A to get 20% off [e-mail]. that's L U X E B I-E-T.com and code N A for 20% off. They made me spell bidet.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh my God.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh my God.

[Brendan Burns]

Now one of my favorite things about that ad that many people probably don't know is there's a person sitting in the back of that room and Eduardo, do you want to explain who that person is?

[Sona Movsesian]

Shout out to Brendan Burns, who we had invited that day to come and sit in. Unbeknownst to me, I didn't know what coding was going to be reading that day. And Brendan, you might hear him in the credits. He mixes for this show. So yeah, but this was his first day to just kind of get a layer in the studio.

[Brendan Burns]

I met him right before the ad session. He had never sat in on a session with us before. And then this happens. It's really funny to watch the video and see Brendan like kind of looking around like, should I, Is this, is this how things are here? Is this What?

[Sona Movsesian]

Made a huge mistake.

[Brendan Burns]

Really, really, really funny.

[Sona Movsesian]

Does kind of make you want to buy a bidet, though.

[Matt Gourley]

I. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I think.

[Eduardo Perez]

Oh, man, I love that you can. Like, Conan usually gets a stack of ads, starts reading, and sort of like is understanding in real time what the ad is. And you can see him.

[Matt Gourley]

That's true.

[Eduardo Perez]

Like discovering the what. What he's reading an ad for as. As he's getting further and further into the copy.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah. And I do. Going back to what you said about his improv, when he does ads, it is so. Because he is reading everything and saying everything as he's recording. And then the stuff he comes up with is just unbelievable, like in the spot. So it is. It is really. I mean, like, I didn't think I would enjoy doing ads for this podcast with him as much as I do, but I. I really love doing ads with him. It's really funny.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, God, that's so funny.

[Matt Gourley]

You should get a Lux bidet.

[Sona Movsesian]

Me?

[Matt Gourley]

They should. They should send us like 20.

[Brendan Burns]

You know what? Because of this ad. I got one and it is awesome.

[Sona Movsesian]

How'd you get one?

[Brendan Burns]

I bought one.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, yeah. They didn't give you. I used the code because now we're giving them double.

[Matt Gourley]

This isn't even. We're not even dynamic inserting. This is just in there.

[Sona Movsesian]

Send us our bidets.

[Brendan Burns]

Yeah. I haven't gotten a paycheck from this place since 2003, so I just work here.

[Matt Gourley]

No, we don't get paid.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, Conan's a horrible boss, but he's a wonderful man. And we're thinking about you.

[Matt Gourley]

Yes, we are. We are thinking of. I don't think he's going to be listening.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, but I'm just sending that out.

[Conan O'Brien]

I know.

[Sona Movsesian]

He doesn't listen.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, but you're right.

[Sona Movsesian]

But this hardly seems like the episode to trash talk him.

[Matt Gourley]

That's true. But we have been.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, we have.

[Matt Gourley]

I will say it is really obvious that he's not here. He is our leader. He's just the. He always turns everything that we say into the funniest thing you could possibly hear. And I think that he's definitely missed. I do like just the two of us being here. I'm not gonna lie.

[Sona Movsesian]

Do you want to just go a little longer?

[Matt Gourley]

I know, why not?

[Sona Movsesian]

Let's just.

[Matt Gourley]

How you been?

[Sona Movsesian]

I'm pretty good. How you been?

[Matt Gourley]

Not bad. Not bad. Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

You got a bidet?

[Matt Gourley]

I actually do do. Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

On that seat right now.

[Matt Gourley]

I. It's. I installed it onto this seat and I am sitting in Conan's seat, so he's gonna come back with a nice surprise.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, we'll be back next week with our favorite clips from all the interview guests. And we should mention if you want to see these clips in their entirety, you can go to the Team Coco YouTube channel. So what you've heard on almost all of these has just been a selected portion of a longer clip that you can watch on YouTube. All right. That's it.

[Matt Gourley]

That's all she wrote.

[Sona Movsesian]

Excuse me.

[Matt Gourley]

That's all she did. That's all she did.

[Sona Movsesian]

Who's she?

[Matt Gourley]

She did it. She's Mrs. Podcast from Mr. And Mrs. Podcast.

[Sona Movsesian]

This is Team Coco saying, have a wonderful 2024. What's left of it.

[Matt Gourley]

Looks so awkward.

[Sona Movsesian]

Mine.

[Matt Gourley]

That. That was so awkward. Whatever's left of it. Yeah. Thanks for.

[Adam Sachs]

Thanks for coming.

[Sona Movsesian]

Thanks for coming and thanks for staying. Thanks for just being you.

[Matt Gourley]

Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

Thank you. Bye.

[Matt Gourley]

We gotta stop. Just. Let's do it.

[Sona Movsesian]

Let's end.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

All right. Thanks for listening, everybody. You don't want to add anything to this.

[Matt Gourley]

Bye. We love you. Is that too much?

[Sona Movsesian]

Conan O'Brien needs a friend With Conan O'Brien Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley produced by me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our association associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples, engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail] Conan and if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend. Wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[Adam Sachs]

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[Matt Gourley]

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