Greta Lee

Summary

Podcast Summary: Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend – Greta Lee

Episode Date: August 10, 2026
Host: Conan O’Brien
Guests/Co-Hosts: Sona Movsesian, Matt Gourley
Guest: Greta Lee (Actress—“Past Lives,” “Russian Doll,” "The Last House")

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Episode Overview

In this vibrant, playful episode, Conan and his longtime collaborators welcome actor Greta Lee for a mix of comedic riffing, honest career reflection, and genuine warmth. The conversation traverses Greta’s Korean American upbringing, her circuitous journey into acting, her breakthrough roles, and the unpredictability and cosmic randomness of her success. The second half explores her new projects—especially her much-hyped, yet technically-challenged Netflix thriller “The Last House”—and wraps with Lee’s gratitude, some characteristic Conan silliness, and heartfelt mutual admiration.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Playful Banter and Conanisms

(01:40–05:00)

• The episode kicks off with Conan fumbling common phrases (“ride along” for “ride or die”; “cute meat” for “meet cute”), which sparks jokes about his creative (or questionable) command of English.
• Sona and Matt gently roast Conan for his linguistic quirks, likening him to “a mom who’s not a native English speaker,” eliciting self-deprecating amusement from Conan.
  • Quote (Conan, 05:34): “I'm very creative with it. You're like, the rule is to say it this way.”
• Conan frames himself as the eccentric comedic expert—his co-hosts the “researchers” riding in his “comedy cop car.”

2. Greta Lee’s Upbringing & Cultural Roots

(11:58–15:40)

• Greta recounts growing up in a tight-knit Korean immigrant household in Los Angeles with strong expectations around gender and decorum.
  • Quote (Greta, 12:49): “You are not enough. Stop being stupid so loud. Be a lady. Be more respectful. Stop trying to be funny. It’s just weird.”
• Discussion of how humor was valued in her family (“the funniest people on the planet”) but not encouraged as an avenue for girls—comedy as a career was an alien concept.
• Greta describes teaching her parents “The Star-Spangled Banner” for their citizenship test, highlighting her role as family pioneer.
  • Quote (13:05, Greta): “I remember teaching my parents the Star Spangled Banner for their citizenship tests. Oh, wow. And, like, that was hard.”

3. Early Aspirations & Moving Through America

(15:16–18:10)

• To escape cultural constraints, Greta gravitated toward masculine role models (Val Kilmer, Nicolas Cage, Jack Nicholson), motivated by a desire to break the “stay-in-your-box” mentality.
  • Quote (Conan, 16:14): “If the repression... is a ‘stay in your box’ sort of vibe, you need jet propulsion to get out of it.”
• Walks through her calculated decision to attend Northwestern (Midwest as a cultural crossroads), ultimately moving to New York.

4. Comedy, Bands, and College Hijinks

(17:43–19:10)

• Greta reveals she met her husband at Northwestern, where he was an Urban Studies/Sociology major involved in the comedy troupe Meow, which her band Captain Teabag performed for (“No follow-up questions!”).
• The crew riff on the absurdities of college improv and band names.

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5. Career Trajectory: From Supporting Roles to “Past Lives”

(21:20–29:34)

• Conan catalogs Greta’s versatile TV work (“Girls,” “Russian Doll,” “Broad City,” etc.), sparking nostalgia for “Broad City” and a heartfelt discussion on the legacy, discomfort, and continued relevance of “Girls.”
  • Quote (Greta, 23:29): “For millennials… that was the next chapter after ‘Sex in the City’… what [Lena Dunham] was doing at that time… was absolutely remarkable.”
• The importance of finding “your people” as a theater kid, outcasts coming together as a “race” apart from ethnicity (“If you’re a theater nerd, I’m with you”—Conan, 28:25).

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6. The Role of Chance & “Cosmic” Career Breaks

(35:42–42:02)

• Greta shares her “ridiculously messy” journey to landing her acclaimed part in “Past Lives.”
  • Initially rejected for being “too old.”
  • Humorous mishap: A voicemail from Scott Rudin’s office intended for Greta Gerwig, not her.
  • Quote (Greta, 37:52): “That was such a publicly humiliating experience… I really thought, like, please leave me alone with this job. It's not mine. I get it. I'm too old, and I'm too American or whatever.”
  • Ultimately cast after a Zoom audition with Celine Song.
• Greta expresses discomfort at cosmic interpretations, steering towards practical humility about success, echoing Conan’s own story of improbably landing “Late Night.”
  • Quote (Conan, 40:55): “Tom Hanks… said, ‘This doesn't happen. What's happening to you does not happen. I don't think it's ever happened.’”
• Honest talk about managing expectations, accepting “supporting actor” status, and then being surprised by a new dream realized (43:07–44:37).

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7. Cementing Success & Staying Grounded

(44:37–45:47)

• Conversation turns to “the speed” of newfound success, with Conan encouraging Greta to use her grounded family life as ballast amid the demand surge.
  • Quote (Greta, 45:19): “Everything is cake, everything is dessert. It’s extra… of course, I have my days… but I feel right now… it really does feel like that.”
• Mutual expressions of gratitude for their paths—recognizing industry unpredictability, the importance of “the right project,” and the relief in having supportive personal relationships.

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8. “The Last House” and Netflix Woes

(45:50–52:22)

• Hilarity ensues as Conan tries to watch Greta’s new Netflix movie “The Last House” but receives a bugged screener—missing all dialog and sound.
  • The crew jokes about whether the missing audio is a bold “Quiet Place”-style directorial flourish, or a horrific technical error.
  • Quote (Conan, 49:01): “I thought, this is a really bold choice. This is cool. Because you hear nothing. You don't even hear ambient sound… I thought, well, I don't know who this director is, but they’ve got guts.”
• Greta describes the film’s concept (family trapped in their house; initially safe, growing more terrifying), drawing a metaphor to pandemic lockdowns.
  • Shot on 35mm—old-school, ambitious look.
• Sona is gently roasted for delaying the Netflix code while possibly “hungover at Chez Expensive.”
  • Conan: “You were wearing a giant piñata. I don’t know how you wear a piñata.”
• They nerd out over experimental distribution methods and how film marketing has changed.

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9. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

(Throughout)

• Greta on tattooing the female symbol (31:19): “I was so mad about a certain election... I tattooed the female symbol on my finger... It looks deranged, but at the time… it was this moment.”
• Conan on mansplaining (32:10): “I realized recently I don’t have enough testosterone to mansplain… When I try to mansplain, it doesn’t come across that way. It’s just splaining, and women are like, ‘nah, it’s okay.’”
• Greta: A fan’s impact (34:46): “A 17-year-old said, ‘Because of your movie, I’m so excited to be in love.’... How could your jaw not hit the ground when you hear something like that from someone?”

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10. Future Projects & Shout-outs

(53:52–55:36)

• Greta plugs her next movie Late Fame (with Willem Dafoe), calling it a small, “special, precious gem” set in NYC, written by Sammy Burch, produced by her Past Lives team.
  • Quote (Greta, 55:02): “Willem Dafoe... The things he can do with his face—I just don’t understand his musculature... The performances for me, like Florida Project and this movie, the ones where he takes it all away... I find that version of him so compelling.”
• Conan offers heartfelt thanks and encouragement for Greta’s journey and self-care amidst “Gretamania.”

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Timestamps for Major Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------|-------------| | Playful Banter (“ride along,” meet cute, etc.) | 01:40–05:40 | | Early Life & Cultural Roots | 11:58–15:40 | | Masculine Role Models, Midwest detour | 15:16–18:10 | | College & Comedy/Improv Stories | 17:43–19:10 | | TV Roles, “Girls”/Broad City nostalgia | 21:20–29:34 | | Casting Struggles & “Past Lives” Breakthrough | 35:42–42:02 | | Cosmic Career Moments (Conan & Greta) | 39:29–44:37 | | Family as Ballast Amid Success | 44:37–45:47 | | “The Last House” and Netflix Sound Mishap | 45:50–52:22 | | “Late Fame” & Willem Dafoe shout-out | 53:52–55:36 | | Wrap-up & Gratitude | 55:36–56:28 |

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Tone & Style

• Conversational, irreverent, affectionate: Conan’s signature blend of high-energy absurdity and lighthearted needling.
• Open, self-aware, and honest: Greta’s humility and introspection about her industry journey ground the comedy in authenticity.
• Togetherness and creative kinship: The episode radiates a real sense of camaraderie and mutual admiration, both for the struggles and the joy in making a creative career work.

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Notable Quotes

• Conan (on getting success unexpectedly):
  “This doesn't happen. What's happening to you—this doesn’t happen. I don’t think it’s ever happened.” (40:55)
• Greta (on burned-out career dreams):
  “I felt like I had already gone to my own funeral... dreams very often die and have to die… then sometimes new ones happen that are so much more than you ever could have imagined.” (43:07)
• Conan (on groundedness amid success):
  “You do have the ballast... I had all those years of thinking this probably wouldn’t happen. That really helps when things pick up.” (45:19)
• Greta (on “Past Lives”):
  “It’s so nice to be in a movie that people love… but beyond that, I still have so many people stop me... just say very simply, ‘I love that movie so much. Thank you so much.’” (33:18, 34:05)

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Conclusion

This episode offers both the signature Team Coco hijinks and a substantial, engaging portrait of a creative rising-star at a tipping point in her career. Listeners are treated to candid laughs, real vulnerability, a compassionate look at what it takes to stick with the arts—and why, when the magic finally happens, you just have to roll with it. Highly recommended for fans of both Greta Lee and the Team Coco crew.

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For new listeners:
To get the best moments, check out:

• Greta on immigrant childhood, humor, and rebellion (12:13–16:14)
• The “Past Lives” rejection-and-triumph story (35:42–39:29)
• The chaotic, hilarious attempt to screen “The Last House” (45:50–50:13)
• Reflections on creative kinship, gratitude, and the “dessert” of success (44:37–45:47)

Transcript

[A]

Coca Cola Zero sugar is so good, it's almost impossible not to finish it before the meal arrives. It's just too good to wait. That happens to me sometimes.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

You can try rules like no sipping until the appetizer arrives. Or you tell your friend, don't let me touch my glass. But every time you're staring at an empty glass. So if you've ever finished your Coke Zero before the first fry hits the table, you're among friends. It happens. Occupational hazard with Coke Zero.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

Hi, my name is Greta Lee, and I feel. Excited.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

About being Conan o' Brien's friend.

[A]

Greta, you just set the record long. That was the longest. It wouldn't be the longest intro because that record is held by Jeff Goble, who went for maybe 45 minutes, but there was just silence.

[B]

I just died a little bit. I saw it and then came back to life.

[A]

Brand new shoes Walking loose climb the

[B]

fence Books and pens I can tell

[A]

that we are gonna be friends

[C]

Yes, I can tell that we are gonna

[A]

be friends hey there. Welcome to Conan o' Brien Needs a Friend. I am Conan o', Brien, of course. Joined by my two chums. Pals, amigos. They're my ride along buddies. That's right. Sonamousian.

[C]

What's up?

[A]

What? And okay. I don't think you really want to know what's up with me. I think you just said that.

[C]

I do. I didn't.

[A]

I don't want to. Matt Gorley. How are you, Matt?

[D]

I'm good. Did you kind of mean ride or die? Because ride along feels like you're a cop and we're like you're kids.

[A]

I think comedically I'm an expert. And you two are researching the role of being funny and you're riding along with me.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

But then we stop and we're involved in a sh.

[D]

We also don't have a choice to who we get to ride along with.

[A]

No, you don't learn how to be funny. Exactly. You want it to be, hey, I want to ride along with Bill Hader. No, that's not going to work out. You're with Conan o'. Brien.

[D]

What's our shootout?

[C]

Sometimes you do get phrases wrong.

[A]

I do? Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. And it makes me laugh. Like, you said cute meat the other day when we were recording, and it's meet cute. Yeah.

[A]

But you know what? You can flip those around whatever you want. I play with language like James Joyce. I'm constantly.

[C]

No, no.

[A]

I'm very creative with it. You're like, the rule is to say it this way.

[C]

Well, you're just saying it incorrectly. Cute meat is not the right way to say it. Right along makes no sense.

[D]

Implies, like, they didn't have a meat cute, but they just saw each other and went, hey, you kind of got cute meat.

[C]

You know, like, your meat is cute.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, you guys are terrific. And by the way, I want, I want you out of my comedy cop car. We can't.

[D]

These doors are.

[A]

You can't.

[D]

On the inside.

[A]

Uh, I, I, I don't follow the rules. I don't. You want to color inside the lines and do a good job with your talking. I'm all over the map. I, And I think that it's the way to go.

[C]

I think it's just important. Like, you remind me sometimes of my mom, and she is not a native English speaker, so you, you, the two of you have the same sort of grasp on a lot of, like, you

[D]

say cathartic like he does.

[C]

Do you say cathartic?

[A]

I like to throw a C in there. It gives it an arctic chill.

[D]

Oh, I didn't realize it was on purpose.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

I'm telling you, there's a lot that I do. And you're thinking, of course, you're the guy that, if you got in a time machine, would go back to look at Picasso and go, no, no, no, not two eyes on one side of the head. This will never work. Make cats with big eyes. And that's why, you know, your time travel adventures are always just terrible. But what I do is I play with the forms. I'm very elastic and creative.

[C]

It's all on purpose.

[A]

Of course it is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What are you talking about?

[C]

You say Saturday Night Live weird, too, which we've talked about.

[A]

Well, that was years ago.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You did it.

[A]

So I did that. Well, I told you what happened. Lauren is from the Deep south, okay? And then he invented this whole thing, this whole thing about being from Toronto. But when I first met him, he was like, hello, Conan. Welcome to Silent Live. He was drinking a mint julep and he was fanning himself. He was sitting on a big porch, big spread down there in Alabama. Anyway, sure, okay. I will try to conform to your more legalistic ways of speaking.

[C]

We could do you. We could go on a comedic ride along. That's what it is. So we're both, like, in the backseat of.

[A]

And you say I remind you of

[C]

your mom and you remind me of mine.

[A]

She created you and I created you. So that makes sense.

[C]

Okay. All right, you know what?

[A]

She birthed you.

[C]

I don't know how to argue. She kind of did.

[A]

And I saw you, and I cleaned you up a little bit and then cut you with my magic wand. And now you're international star Sonam obsessio.

[C]

I can't even argue because you're kind of right.

[A]

And I did clean you up. You were a mess.

[C]

You did not clean me up.

[A]

I was fine covered in leaves when I met you.

[C]

Okay?

[A]

So here we are, and I think

[D]

that it's good we got that out. It was very cathartic.

[C]

You say words incorrectly. You sound like my mom, and she's an immigrant. You don't know how to speak English. Sometimes, even though you were born here and you went to college here, you're supposed to be a writer. But how I love the.

[D]

The teacup is the best part.

[A]

I should be insulted, but that's one of the better songs I've heard.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

It was brilliant. That was really nice.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

I will be paying you back for that for weeks and weeks.

[D]

I know.

[A]

And so my lawyers will be in touch. Your lawyers? Your lawyers.

[D]

You mean the ones that are suing you?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

David Melmond.

[A]

She uses lawyers that are suing her.

[D]

That's like when you go to buy a house and you go to the seller's realtor and go, hey, could you represent me?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. All right, well, let's get into it because this is quite a show that we have today. My guest this. This fine day is a talented actress who starred in the fantastic film Past Lives. She also voiced Lily Pad in Toy Story 5. So this.

[C]

I've heard of it.

[A]

Yeah. Toy Story 5 is. Many people say the performances in Toy Story 5 are the best performances ever recorded.

[D]

Heard that. But they said they're singled out. 1.

[A]

They said every single performance they Said one performance in particular really made it.

[D]

Greta Lee.

[A]

It was Greta Lee. Well, anyway, now you can see her in the new Netflix movie the Last House. She's lovely, super talented. So happy she stopped by the podcast today. Greta Lee, welcome. You and I have had some opportunity to hang recently because we are part of the most successful movie of all time.

[B]

Oh, is that right?

[A]

Is it?

[D]

I just said that you guys are in the Odyssey.

[A]

Yes, we were.

[C]

Why?

[B]

Yes, we are there. Did you not make it until the end? We are there. We're definitely there.

[A]

People have always said I have a Matt Damon quality, and I pulled it off. He was unavailable. We are in this movie together, and you were fantastic, by the way. And this thing. I don't know about you, but William Morrison Dever will send me, like, a thing that says, you know, Toy Story 5 has now passed the $800 billion mark, which entitles you to a check for $75. And I'm just really excited. So I just go like, yay, ice cream's on me.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

It's really fun.

[B]

It is very fun. Yeah. And I. I don't want to be gauche about it and bring up, you know, the numbers.

[A]

Well, I'm sure your numbers are very different. You could carve out, you know, but, you know, a lot of people in America, and I'm. I know this to be true. I have facts on this. Sit at the emotional core of the film, Smarty Pants and Lily Pad, and there's a lot of, like, Tom Hanks.

[B]

Who?

[A]

Joan Kyu Saua.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, there's a lot of that going on.

[B]

That is going on right now in my mind.

[A]

It's going on in my mind.

[B]

No, it's definitely. I'm not on social media, so if I am the right person to confirm, it's definitely going on. It's been the blowback.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Incredible.

[B]

Have you checked in on Tom? Is he okay?

[A]

Tom is depressed.

[B]

So depressed.

[A]

He's flatlining.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, just. I mean, these guys. Tim Allen hasn't spoken since the movie came out because they're just decimated by all the love for Lily Pad and Smarty Pants.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you have fun doing it? Cause that was an insane experience.

[B]

The press tour or the actual recording of the movie?

[A]

Press tours are just. I don't even know what to say about press tours. Increasingly, they're more embarrassing.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I would say this one, though, compared to some others, it was pretty okay in terms of the embarrassment factor. I mean, I thought we did some honorable work out there.

[A]

We did some honorable work out there. My favorite part was Tom Hanks and I were tossed into a van, driven down to Disneyland, and they said, we want you to get shot in the theme park. You know, videotape of you in the theme park for promotion. And we'll. So our characters are behind us going, doop, do, do.

[D]

This is real.

[A]

This is real. So we go down there. They take us through all these different tunnels. They put us up in front of this. Yeah, they put us up in. Oh, you're graffiti's all over the place. And a lot of those tunnels. And a lot of. Matt's a dick, but he worked there at Disneyland.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Okay. Back in the day, he was a talking trash can. And I make fun of him because I'm a talking toilet trainer. Toilet paper.

[D]

How the mighty.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. You actually have the superior position on me. But anyway, they had us pose in front of this flat. That could have been anywhere. Yeah, yeah, it could have been anywhere. Why did we have any?

[B]

But you're method actors. You're performers. You take this seriously. They're not going to shaft you like that. They're going to put like a green screen behind you.

[A]

Exactly. Now, Greta, once again, as I've always said about Greta Lee, she's always right. She's always right. You've always said that you are a lovely person to hang with and talk to. And so we've been trying to figure out you're very busy. When could we get you here on the podcast to chat? And so I'm so glad you're here.

[B]

Yeah, you got me.

[A]

Yep. This is our first six hour podcast. We've never done one of these.

[B]

It's a six parter, right?

[A]

Yeah, it's a six parter.

[B]

Is it six hours in one sitting or does it come back six times?

[A]

It's cheaper to do six hours in one sitting. Okay, got it. And no bathroom breaks.

[B]

Oh, great. I have my catheter.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

I'm ready.

[A]

So much to talk about, and I'd like to set the stage a little bit. You're born and raised in Los Angeles. Your parents are immigrants from South Korea. So that culture is super strong when you're growing up.

[B]

Super, super strong.

[A]

And you are. It's kind of. I remember it in my family, which is Irish Catholic, there were certain messages we got loud and clear about how to behave and what's okay and what's not okay. I'm imagining it's the same thing in the South Korean diaspora.

[B]

Yeah. I'm still not in the clear, you know, like, I'm still being tested. I don't think I've passed yet.

[A]

What's the message that you were given, whether out loud or just subtly? Was it to be quiet? Was it to be a certain kind of person?

[B]

Well, I don't want to be dramatic, but it was like, you are not enough. Stop being stupid so loud. Be a lady. Be more respectful. Stop trying to be funny. It's just weird.

[A]

Also kind of not ladylike.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To be funny.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I. I feel it's funny hearing colleagues and other artists talk about, especially people who do comedy. Their childhood's filled with, you know, watching SNL together on the couch and, you know, the whole family kind of getting behind. And that did not exist in my household. It was like. And. But by the way, my family, the funniest people on this. On this planet, hands down. However, the idea of, like, telling a joke, it's like, what. What are you doing? You want to get spanked? Like, what are you doing? So that was. That all came later for me in terms of, like, understanding that, oh, comedy is a business, is a profession, and you can actually do something with that. But, yeah, my childhood and growing up was deeply rooted in Korean identity. I was also the firstborn in my family, so that means I was sort of the gateway for everyone. I was the first person to go to school in the States. I was the first person. I remember teaching my parents a Star Spangled Banner for their citizenship tests. Oh, wow. And, like, that was hard.

[A]

You should have me. I would have taught them the wrong stuff, made up some words in there just to screw with them, you know?

[B]

But it's the test, isn't it?

[A]

I know, but, hey, if my parents get kicked out of the country, that's funny to me.

[B]

Sucker. You really suck.

[A]

Like a Weird Al song. I'm just saying it's an opportunity to throw a few extra words in there, maybe get a chuckle.

[B]

Oh, sure.

[A]

But I've read that you're role models when you're a young girl. When you're, like, a young woman. Young girl. When you're growing up in this family, you're supposed to be ladylike. You're watching movies and you're identifying with Val Kilmer, Nicolas Cage.

[B]

What's that all about with men? Well, I think it makes sense if you think about how much I was under this pressure to be more feminine, more like, hyper, femme, a lady, all of that. So I just swung full throttle the other way, and it's like, Val Kilmer.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I mean, which, I don't know, was the poster child of. Of that kind of masculinity for me at the time. And. Yeah, yeah. And Nicholas Cage, Jack Nicholson, those guys, I remember watching them and feeling like, wow, I want to be like that as a young girl. Which, I don't know, it still doesn't quite make sense to me.

[A]

I think it kind of does. Because if the repression, and I'm not using that in a dramatic way again, I'm saying, like, if there is a repressive stay in your box sort of vibe you're getting, you need jet propulsion to get out of it. And so I can understand saying, like, okay, I'm going to identify with these guys who are kicking ass in movies.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And. And throwing people through walls, because that will propel me more out of this world. I mean, it's not that you want to be them, you just want to get out of this.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, I think. Yes. That's it. Yeah.

[A]

You go to New York, you go to college in New York?

[B]

I go to college. Northwestern, and I made a stop in the Midwest and that was strategic on my part.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, because I applied early to Northwestern. I remember as a 17 year old, looking at a map of the US and thinking like, oh, I could go from one coast to the next. I could just go from LA to New York and that would be great. And I think I would know exactly what that would be. And then I thought, wait, but what's this middle area here? What's Sheboygan, Wisconsin?

[C]

What?

[B]

And I really. My mind, I was open to a whole new to me, a huger cultural shift from the Midwest to how I grew up than like other parts of the globe. I couldn't believe that there was this whole section that I just didn't know anything about. And it really paid off for me, actually. I met my husband there. I'm like, yeah, I'm basically Midwestern.

[A]

It's funny, you were approaching your move away from home like it's this buffet table and you're not gonna go right to the end, you're gonna work your way down. Yeah, you should have moved one state at a time and slowly made your way across.

[B]

Exactly, exactly. And then I'd make it there at my deathbed, I'd be like, finally, New York City.

[A]

I'm ready to have a good. Oh, my hip.

[B]

College. College, here we go. Freshman year.

[A]

So you met your husband at Northwestern, and was he in the dramatic arts as well?

[B]

Yeah, I think maybe he would like people to know he was actually an urban studies major. Sociology major, who also was in meow, the comedy group there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And we met through that. Not because I was in meow. I was in the band that played for Meow.

[C]

Really?

[B]

And we were called Captain Teabag.

[A]

Okay. So Captain Teag.

[B]

So anyway, I gotta go. This was really nice.

[A]

Captain Teabag is the band you're in.

[B]

No follow up questions.

[A]

It plays for the comedy group Meow, which is where urban planners get together and do improvisational comedy. And all the comedy is about. Well, if we could get the city

[B]

grids, like, why, what's wrong with this publication?

[A]

A roundabout might help ease pressure.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And scene. You have worked on so many great shows. One of the shows that you're Captain Teabag, go.

[B]

Yes, he is.

[C]

Just leave it.

[A]

Because I'm a sensitive host who got a signal that we move on from Captain Teabag. But you countermanded it. All right, so Captain Teabag, what instrument did you play?

[B]

It's vocal. I. The Teabag

[A]

you throw out. You want me to go in a certain direction, I go that way. And then you're like, cap, just. No, no, no. You're going to leave that all in. Sorry about him. That's what he does.

[B]

It's fun. So what jobs have I done? Was that. Was that your question?

[C]

No.

[A]

If you could be reincarnated as any tool in a toolbox. Yeah.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

You're kind of an Allen wrench, I think.

[B]

Yeah, definitely.

[A]

Blay, quick question. How old are you?

[D]

I'm 47 years old.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Ever invest in something that seemed incredible at first but didn't live up to the hype?

[C]

Yeah, like all the time.

[A]

Yeah, I did that with an all potato restaurant.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

Marketers know that feeling. They optimize for the numbers that look great, like impressions, but then they don't see revenue. You know what I'm talking about, don't you?

[C]

Oh, yeah, all the time.

[A]

Yeah. LinkedIn has a word for that. Bullspin, Bull spin. Yeah. Instead, you can get the highest roas of major ad networks with LinkedIn ads. Cut the bull. Spend, advertise on LinkedIn. Spend $250 and get a $250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.comconan Terms apply. You work on these amazing shows. I mean, I was thinking about it and going over like your, your past Girls, Russian Doll, of course, the morning show. But you did this spot on Broad City, which I saw recently, because I've been binging Broad City.

[B]

You have?

[A]

Well, I watched it. I watched it here and there back in the day when it was on, and I really liked it. But my daughter came home from school and summertime and she started binging it with my wife. And so I sat in and I just would watch whole seasons and then go to the next season and the next season.

[B]

It's so good, isn't it?

[A]

It's fantastic. And it really holds up.

[B]

It does.

[A]

It's great. They're remarkable.

[B]

No, thanks.

[A]

And I remember liking it at the time, but because of this new streaming era, you can really appreciate all the different little circuitous roots and notes and themes that run through a show. Just fantastic.

[B]

Yeah. Are you rewatching Girls too?

[A]

With, you know, what's interesting, my daughter did. I have not. But I want to go back and start it again.

[B]

Yeah. That is also one of those shows that it holds up in a very. In an uncomfortable way. Like, you almost wish we had progressed a little bit more since that time as a society. But a lot of it really holds

[A]

up in what way?

[B]

Oh, I think, like, for millennials, specifically in that time. I mean, in the world. But specifically for people living in New York City, I feel like. I really feel like that was the next chapter after Sex in the City. I really do. And the way. And Lena, I think she's incredible. And what she was doing at that time, I think, was absolutely remarkable. And, yeah, she deserves all kinds of praise for what she did.

[A]

It was incredibly remarkable.

[D]

Her book?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Lena Dunham wrote an autobiography.

[B]

I listened to it.

[A]

You listened to it?

[B]

Yeah. I don't always do that. I don't always love an audiobook, but for this one in particular, I think you have to listen to it.

[A]

What I like to do is read the audiobook. Very hard to do. Very hard to do.

[D]

You just say whatever's being said.

[A]

You put a glass of water next to the speaker, and then you just watch the water vibrations, and then you figure out what they're saying.

[D]

You've been worried about my interjections in this?

[A]

I'm just telling you, you either got it or you don't, buddy boy. You're gonna see. That's gonna get a lot of likes.

[D]

Podcasts don't get likes.

[A]

Sure they do.

[D]

Okay, right?

[A]

Like, this guy knows podcasts. But, yeah, she's a remarkable person. And so honest. Yeah, so honest about everything and that. And a great writer.

[B]

An incredible writer. And I realize I was having, like, a suspended panic attack while listening to her audiobook, driving in la. Cause I were in a car so much, I kind of thought, like, oh, this is the perfect listen.

[C]

It is.

[B]

And it's also not, because it is so. She writes with such brutal honesty, and it is so. It's so painful and enraging. Frankly, I'm a little enraged on her behalf in terms of the things she experienced. But, yeah, highly recommend.

[A]

If you want to be enraged while driving, this is the book for you. No, it's a beautiful book. It's an amazing document.

[B]

It really is. Yeah.

[A]

You have worked with so many incredible women. Amy Poehler, Tina Fey, Lena, of course, Amy Schumer, Natasha Lyonne. And so, you know, my journey, obviously very different from your journey, but some things are the same, which is I, in my family, I Never in a million years thought that this was any kind of a job. So when I was in grade school and high school, I was a nervous grind, and I was funny with my friends, but I had no idea. I mean, my. I never saw anybody from show business in Boston, Massachusetts, in the 1970s, and it wasn't part of my culture in any way. And then it was just through a series of accidents that I sort of got closer and closer. But when I finally did get into this world, and you realize a big part of it is working with people whose mind works kind of like your mind, and in different ways. And there's a whole world of people. Yeah, they were also getting beat up on the playground, but now we're all together and someone's paying for lunch. It's. It's, you know, and it's a job. That's crazy.

[B]

My version of that is I actually grew up really knowing a lot about the industry. Not because of my. My family, but because in la, I went to Harvard Westlake, which is a very good school, private school here in Los Angeles filled with industry families. So I had a lot of exposure to, you know, a lot of different, very successful people early on. But the idea of what that was was presented in a way that was almost like, don't sell out. Like, don't. Don't actually be like Spielberg. Which is so funny to think about.

[C]

Like.

[A]

Cause it's exactly like, God forbid anyone was like, Spielberg.

[B]

Yeah, right. We're like, I don't know. And I remember an English teacher pulling me aside and saying, you know, don't. I hear you want to be an actor. I hear you want to go to Northwestern. Don't. Come on, don't do that.

[A]

But what way was she saying it?

[B]

I think there was this real emphasis on, like. And, like, being an intellectual and being a real artist, whatever that meant to people. But that did, I have to say, inform a little bit of my decisions in terms of, like, what I was, where I wanted to go to school and what kind of moving to New York after college. Like, I wanted to be a stage actor, and I really wanted all of that. But to your point about finding your people, I grew up at that time, like, dealing with a little bit of my identity and being Asian American, like, oh, basically at lunchtime, like, do I hang with the Asian kids? Where do I sit? And it wasn't until I found the theater kids, I was just like, oh, I'm just that race. Yes, I understand now. It's all fun.

[A]

These are my people. And it doesn't matter where you come from. But if you're a theater nerd, I'm with you.

[B]

That's what it is. Ye.

[A]

And, yeah, it's so funny. I remember in another lifetime, I think I was working on Saturday Night Live as a writer and someone noticed they'd throw me in sketches sometimes. And someone said, you should take a serious acting class. And I thought, well, okay, we have weekends off. And so I took a class with, like, you know, I think, was it UTA Hagen in. I got into this class and I thought, well, I'm going to really learn. And I remember they went around the room and every single person said, well, I would never do a commercial, and I don't wanna be in a movie. I wouldn't have anything to do with it. I just wanna do Chekhov, and I wanna do it in a very small theater. And I was sitting there and I thought, bullshit. You're just all lying. I mean, it's fine to have those aspirations, but I just, you know. And then subsequently, I've seen them all, you know, getting a burrito and this tastes delicious. It's scrumdiddly doo. Yeah. I don't know. There's no ramp into this question.

[B]

I can't wait.

[A]

Okay. You committed a murder.

[B]

Yes. Let's not talk about that.

[A]

1999, Portland, Oregon. Off the record?

[B]

Off the record?

[A]

Off the record. You committed a murder. No. I heard that you would sometimes get an impulsive tattoo, and I am. That's one thing I have. That's a world I've never sort of.

[B]

Well, your skin looks delicate. I have to say. I wouldn't mess with it. Greta. Yes? Greta. Yes.

[A]

What do you mean by that? And please be honest.

[B]

I just. I mean, it feels. It feels vulnerable.

[A]

You're saying I tattoo?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't need to. I can tell from where I'm sitting,

[A]

you reacted like a mummy walked into the room. So you're saying if I got a small tattoo of, like, a yin yang symbol, it might kill me?

[B]

Possibly, yeah. The way it transfuses into your blood, it's just like. I don't know.

[A]

I do. You know, immediately when you said that, everyone here nodded their head like that?

[C]

Definitely.

[A]

You're just speaking a truth.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have, like, piercings or anything else?

[A]

Oh, I have a ton of piercings.

[B]

Okay, great.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What? I just. I'm really into it. I think it's fantastic. I cannot go through a metal detector at the airport, and then when I show them why, they're horrified.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Show them.

[A]

I do. I'm really into that. No, I have no piercings. I have nothing. I think because I grew up with bright orange hair and very pronounced freckles that faded over time. Not interested in any other marks on my body.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But what would be an impulsive tattoo for you? Something that's just like, oh, my God, I can't believe I did it, but I just went for it.

[B]

Okay, fine.

[A]

You don't have to do this.

[B]

No, I'll give you one. I. I was so mad about a certain election one year that I tattooed the female symbol on my finger, which was really stupid, because it's like, it looks like I have forgotten what I am and I need to.

[D]

It's like memento, where you have to remind yourself.

[A]

It's like when a kid puts right and left on their sneakers.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Like, it looks deranged. But at the time, I mean, I put it on this finger because I. I mean, I don't know, I just felt like it was this moment, you know? Heard of mansplaining. Like, I felt like that was a big, like.

[A]

Shh.

[B]

No, no, no. So I put a female symbol on my finger, so now I can do that all the time with this reminder.

[A]

I realized recently I don't have enough testosterone to mansplain.

[B]

You don't?

[A]

It's just when I try to mansplain, it's just. It doesn't come across that way. It's just splaining, and women are like, nah, it's okay.

[B]

Yeah, they're like.

[C]

From you, it's fin.

[A]

Yeah, from him. Mansplaining from you. Just feels like I'm chatting with one of the ladies.

[C]

The least intimidating guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That car was mansplaining. Were you mad? Not really. He was on a pink phone and.

[C]

Can you.

[D]

Can you, man, spread as well? You can't.

[A]

Hey, let's not get into it, okay?

[D]

Let's see those piercings.

[A]

Okay. Let's just settle down.

[D]

I apologize.

[A]

Okay, so this, I know, comes up a lot in your interviews, but I need to tell you that when you were booked on the podcast and you've had so much different success, but some of the people on our show that work here are sort of religious zealots about past lives in a really sweet way, and I know that you must get that all the time.

[B]

I do get that all the time, which is nice.

[A]

It deserves it. It's such a great movie.

[B]

Thanks. You know, I do get that all the time, and I do really appreciate it. Not just Listen, it's so nice to be in a movie that people love and, you know, is successful. That's so great. But beyond that, I still have so many people stop me and not in, like, an aggressive or intrusive way and just feel the need to just turn and say very simply, I love that movie so much. Thank you so much. And to me, I think they're. There's so many different ways we can complain about our industry and this job and what. But I think that's like an instant reminder that, like, I love film and I love what we do and how great to be able to connect with all kinds of people.

[A]

Also, one of the things I've noticed is you're never. It's nice to be busy. We're really lucky to get to do this. You're running around doing all these different things. You never quite know what's gonna resonate.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm sure you felt, okay, this project is special, but you're doing a bunch of things. You do that and then it endures. And that's one of those films that's going to. Made a big impact. It is much discussed. It is much praised. But I feel like in 5, 10, 15 years, it's just gonna keep going.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And other things that maybe got some noise will fade a little bit. But that's one of those movies that touches on something very elemental.

[B]

Yeah, I think so. And I like that. The reason is something that feels so kind of elemental to just being a person. Like, one of my favorite experiences was a young woman coming up to me and saying, thank you so much for past lives. She said, like, I'm 17 years old. I've never been in love. But because of your movie, I'm so excited to be in love. Oh, man. I was like, Jesus. And I was like, you shithead, leave me alone. How dare you. Dare you come up to me. I'm with my family right now. Turn around and get out of here. No, but it really. It's just. I mean, how could your jaw not hit the ground when you hear something like that from someone? And I just, like, I am so appreciative and genuinely do hope that I get to experience that for a long, long time.

[A]

And obviously your story relating to that film, because you were up for a part, didn't get it.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And you were crushed because you thought, well, this would have been a really good part. You moved on with your life. And then the original casting fell through. Is that right?

[B]

I think enough time has passed now that I Can tell this story.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The murders that I've committed.

[A]

Yeah. Portland, Oregon, 1991.

[B]

No, it really was such a messy ride. And this, you know, it happens a lot with casting and with. You find out, like, oh, I was not only the second choice. I was, like, the 15th choice or whatever it is. But in this case, I really was told by the universe several times that this was not gonna be my job. And at a certain point, it just became so absurd and insulting. Because the first time I auditioned, I was convinced to do it. I didn't really think I could speak Korean well enough to do it. And that wasn't something that I was looking for. But I was convinced, did the tape, and then didn't get it, and was like to my agents, like, come on. Like, see? Like, what'd you make me do? And they're like, no, no. You know, they thought that you are just too old.

[D]

Nice.

[A]

Yeah. Don't worry. It wasn't your Korean. You're too old.

[C]

Jesus.

[B]

But basically, that was the case because they had cast the other role, this really excellent Korean actor who was much younger than me. And it went to someone else, and they were gonna shoot it, but then it fell apart. And it came back almost exactly a year later, same thing. And I think I had sort of started talking to them. And at the time, and this is just wild, but I got a call from Scott Rudin's office, and he was attached at the time. And it was a message that was a long voicemail. That was something. Something like, where are you? Come. You have a meeting at Cafe Clooney. You know, he's waiting. Something, something. And I thought I got past lives. Cause I thought, oh, my God. Like, this is amazing. Like, he wants to meet me at Cafe Clooney to tell me that I got this job. I listened to the message again and again. And I played it. I sent it to my agents, and they played it. And we realized collectively that the message was actually for Greta Gerwig, for something completely. Who knows what that was? I don't know. I've told her now since. And she. She was like, oh, my gosh. I have no idea. But that was such a publicly humiliating experience. Because the whole age, you know, all the agents were like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's. That's Rudin. That. And then collectively realizing that was the wrong Greta. And so I really thought, like, please leave me alone with this job. It's not mine. I get it. I'm too old, and I'm too American or whatever.

[A]

And you're no Greta Gerwig. You're the wrong Greta.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow. And you know, it is when you have experiences like that. You think, I didn't ask for anything.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

Leave me out of it. Yeah. Stop coming to me, getting my hopes up a little bit and then slapping me around.

[B]

Exactly. Stop it.

[A]

So then it comes back around again and all works out well.

[B]

Yeah. And then it was like, can you Zoom with Celine tomorrow? And it was during the pandemic and I had no time to, you know, cram and train and try to pretend like I'm like a different actor. Sort of like, no, it's go time. You know, like. And we read together on Zoom and she gave me the job on the spot. And it was just. I know. I hate stories like that, though. You know, it's just. It just feels too. I don't like when it feels so cosmic or like so.

[A]

Well, you know, mostly it doesn't feel that way. There's so many things in life that don't happen that when it does happen, you kind of have to honor it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause I mean, I've had one major cosmic moment like that where.

[B]

What was yours?

[A]

How I got into this whole on air thing, which is how I. It's too long a story to go into. But I had no business getting this late night show when I was 29 years old. I just had no business. It shouldn't have happened. I was in no position to get it. I wasn't ready. But. But things kept conspiring.

[B]

Yeah. How many people did you kill to get that?

[A]

Oh, my God. Well, a lot of them lived.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Kim o'. Fallon, they all somehow survived. Greta Gerwigwig. Yeah, Greta Gerwig. She was the big one that had to go. Although why they called me when they were trying to get Greta Gerwig, I don't understand. I am a scientific person. I can usually look at someone's magical story and tell them why. Well, that's not really magical because this and this. But every now and then I hear something and I go, yeah. There's no explanation for that. And my situation, it is truly. You know, when I got the job, I knew Tom Hanks just as a writer from Saturday Night Live. He knew me. Cause he would come on the show and I would write things for him. And he looked at me and he pointed at me and he said, this doesn't happen. What's happening to you. It doesn't happen. I don't think it's ever happened. And he was saying it as, like, in a calm, historic way, it was very bizarre. And so when I try to explain that to younger people who've grown up with me yakking in the background, the idea of me doing a show just seems like. Well, of course.

[B]

They're like, you've been around forever.

[A]

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Talk about old.

[A]

Talk about old. Take your old and multiply it by 15 and you get me. So, I mean, I honor that.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

I don't get it. Something.

[B]

I don't get it either, but is that stressful for you now? I mean, that was a while ago, but not now.

[A]

But then it was. Oh, my God.

[B]

To feel like that. Lucky in a way.

[A]

Yeah. And also when you have that kind of situation. There was some Esquire piece about me, and no one knew who I was yet. And they had one photograph of me. Cause there was no Internet. There was no. I didn't have headshots. And Esquire did a thing about jealousy when someone, you know has been elevated. And the headline of the piece was my photograph with, like, a bullseye on it.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

And I remember looking at this before I even went on the air, looking at it and going, okay, this is gonna be fun.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

So. But I guess what I'm saying is that I do think sometimes, and this is not scientific, and this is maybe just Irish magical thinking, but sometimes there is a something at work that cannot be explained.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think in your case, with this project, it just kept coming back to me.

[B]

Could have been. Yeah. I mean, I think for me, it's still really hard to explain. And to wrap my mind around what's happened for me, I think there in our business, no one is entitled to anything. I feel like I came off of a lot of years when I was first starting out feeling really, really kind of put down by the lack of opportunities for someone like me. Forget being a girl, all the other things. And I just felt like I couldn't believe I was still in it or trying. And there was a time I really. And I've said this before, I felt like I had already gone to my own funeral. And it wasn't, like, so desperately sad. It just felt so, like, fact. And I had made peace with it, and I was living a great life. I mean, I had my kids, and I had this husband that I met in college. And a really full dynamic, a full plate. And, yeah, made peace with, like, I'm gonna be a supporting actor. Like, I think I will have enough opportunity coming in to just, like, support my family. Enough. And this is gonna be okay, I think. But I know now, looking back, how well, how dead I was. And like, there is something that is, yeah, a little sad about that. Because you think, wow, that is such a human thing. Like, you know, your dreams very often die and have to die, and we see it all the time. And then sometimes new ones happen that are so much more than you ever could have imagined. There's just no possible way to wrap your mind around it. And that's sort of how I feel right now. Like, there's no. It's hard for me to categorize or sort of like, place myself within the world of like, oh, I'm like Val Kilmer. Or I'm like this person. Yes, guys, every day I wake up, I look in the mirror and I'm like, how much am I like Val Kilmer? But it's just. It can feel disorienting is what I'm saying. Like. And, like, what that sense of purpose and what's gonna keep me going because I have all the tethers and all the things that I used to have to kind of measure myself and how much I was failing. All of it is just. And it's all new and it feels like there's no blueprint. And I have no idea. So.

[A]

Well, I was just. When I was talking to you just before you came in here, and you're saying, well, I'm here today, but I gotta jump on a plane. Cause I'm going to London for a project and the speed of things has picked up. All because you are extremely talented. You work really hard. You know your craft and people. Now you're a known commodity. And the flip side of that is you're gonna be jumping on a lot of planes and a part of a lot of things. And so that's great. But you do have the ballast, which I think is the most important thing to have in this business of I've got my family, I know what's important to me. And I had all those years of thinking this probably wouldn't happen. That really helps when things pick up. I think so the way they are now.

[B]

I think so that like, everything is cake, everything is dessert. It's extra like that. It really does feel like that. I mean, of course, I have my days and there are certain jobs that are more challenging than others or certain situation, of course. But I feel right now, I mean, talk check on me. Maybe in a month, in a week.

[A]

I'm just gonna call. I'm gonna cold call you at three in the morning. Hey, are you okay, Conan?

[C]

What?

[A]

How you doing?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So I said it was cake.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How do you feel now?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I want to talk about this movie, the Last House.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which. And I'll tell you a little quick story. I always like to see the movie of anyone who's coming on. And so I was like, okay, well, I know your work really well. I'm in a movie with you. We've chatted. Okay. We have a lot to talk about, but I want to see this movie. And then my assistant said, oh, it's. We got it. We're going to watch it this morning. So I came in early and it came through Netflix and it starts to play and there's no. You can't hear anybody. You can't hear anyone. And then every now and then you could hear a little word and you'd say something like, would you like a sandwich? But then you don't hear anything. You know, I just like a sandwich.

[B]

I do sometimes that in a movie.

[A]

Yeah. And then we tried for a while putting subtitles on, and I think they're not quite done mixing it yet. Possibly or something. Is it.

[C]

That is so cool.

[A]

I don't know. But they sent us this movie that. And we were all like banging like. Like chimpanzees were banging on the side of the flat screen. Like old school stuff.

[B]

Like thunderclap.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And there weren't. There were things that weren't there yet. It was disconcerting because someone would walk, but there's no footsteps.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

So something maybe some track didn't come through. And back in the day, this will date me. But you would get like a cassette or then you'd get a DVD or then. But now it's.

[B]

Oh, so Netflix is doing that now.

[A]

They are.

[B]

You didn't get the cassette?

[C]

No.

[A]

Damn it. It's a big three quarter inch. And they send you the machine that was built in 1981. It's from the movie Broadcast News.

[B]

Great movie. Great movie.

[A]

I remember my first job, 1985. Not necessarily the news. My writing partner and I showed up and they gave us these things that look like giant mortar bricks.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And you would put them in a machine, it would go like. And then it would play whatever it is you were trying to look up. Well, now it's all. Here's a special code. It's going to be sent to you. Sona, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

You were at a restaurant, not picking up your phone, having a good old time and putting it on the company.

[C]

I missed one, but I did put it on the company. Yeah.

[A]

Did you have a little liquid courage at lunch?

[C]

No.

[A]

Okay, whatever. Anyway, but we kept. So we were texting Sona, saying, what's the code? What's the code? And she's like, another round and put it on Team Coco. I missed one. At her favorite restaurant, Chez Expensive. And. And so then we finally get the code, and we all gather on the tv.

[C]

Three minutes.

[A]

It took you a while, anyway.

[C]

Took me three minutes, Please.

[A]

Anyway, you're a little hungover, but you have no sense of time. The waiter had to wake you up at the table. She was wearing a giant pinata. I don't know how you wear a pinata. My point is, we watched it. It's a complete. There's no sound. There's no sound. There's no sound. Oh, here's a pen for you. There's no sound. We're trying to watch it. But. So then we went and we watched the trailer, and the trailer has sound. And we watched the turn. I'm like, I want to see this. This looks really good. Because the idea is very cool.

[B]

Like, did you think it was intentional? Did you honestly, for a moment, think, like.

[A]

Oh, for a second. Oh, like the quiet place.

[B]

Like the quiet place.

[A]

It starts with your husband, like, on a dock, fishing, and there's no sound. And I thought, this is a really bold choice. This is cool. Because you hear nothing. You don't even hear ambient sou. And you see lightning, but you don't hear it. And I thought, well, this is. I don't know who this director is, but they got guts. This is cool.

[B]

Louis. I'm sorry. He's having a stress attack right now.

[A]

No, no, no, no. The point is, I'm not saying anything bad about the film. I'm just saying that was a film

[B]

that has sound, and we stopped it.

[D]

Well, we don't know that.

[A]

So we had to stop it. Yeah, it says you. We stopped it, like, three minutes in. So I still haven't seen the movie, but we then watched the trailer, and I'm like, I think it's a really cool idea.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Family goes into their house, shuts a normal. I think they live in Seattle, where my wife is from. I've been there many times.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then there's.

[B]

You picked up on that. Without sound.

[A]

I think the shot of the Space Needle and most of Pearl Jam walking around gave it away.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And people throwing fish to each other.

[B]

Right, right, right. All that stuff.

[A]

But then they can't get out of the house. And what's interesting to me is that initially doesn't seem that scary. Cause what's safer than being in your house? And the cool thing to me about the idea is that at a certain point, not being able to leave your house becomes terrifying.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just kind of what we went through in Covid.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, a little bit. I mean, I loved the idea of just a regular day and like, you know, this family and the sort of chaos of the morning that a lot of parents know and then getting the miracle of like, finally we will leave the house and going to the door and it won't open.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then a lot of times passing.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And what is gonna happen. I really love that. And I loved. I just love Amblen y Kind of like those movies, that kind of thriller, sci fi, survivalist stories. And I thought, yeah, let's. You know, I liked Louis ambition for it. We shot a lot of it on 35 millimeter, which I at first was like, that's crazy.

[C]

Why?

[B]

You sure that's a lot of film?

[A]

Well, actually that's just an app on any iPhone. 35 millimeter. That's so cool though. And so I am. I'll tell you this. I watched the trailer and I was like, I want to see this movie when Netflix lets me listen to it.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Just that cassette.

[A]

It's just some technical thing. No one should be reprimanded for this in any way. These things happen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Don't you think?

[C]

So you reprimanded me earlier, but yeah,

[A]

I just think drinking at lunch and putting on the company card is a bad idea.

[C]

I had fun.

[D]

Also, if you checked your hearing, maybe it's just you.

[B]

I don't know. That's actually horrifying.

[A]

Maybe that's the true horror movie.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And by the way, everyone around me loved it. And I'm like, too bad there's no sound. And I saw everyone get really sad.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Tears falling. They're like, don't tell him.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And why does it make you urinate in your pants? And everyone's like, oh, Conan. Well, that's part of what the movie does, right?

[B]

That's part of it.

[A]

Greta, how much are you regretting coming in here?

[C]

I mean, I.

[B]

No, this is great. So I'm sure you have a ton of follow up questions about the movie since you heard all of it and you've watched all of it.

[A]

I did.

[B]

So we should like really get into it.

[A]

Really get into it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now you Took a very. Made a very strange choice for the way that you spoke in the film, I'm told. I haven't seen it, but I heard you say, hey, I can't get out of this house. Let's go.

[C]

Going on.

[B]

Yeah. We worked with real marionette. I'm sitting in so much trouble. The talking points are like, do not bring up marionette puppeteers. Stop doing that, Greta. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I love being told what not to do, because then that's all I can think about. And we have it here with ad reads. They'll say, do not say that this car brand will explode. Do not. And it's things I would never bring up. But then that's all I can think about. And then I inevitably say, it will explode on you. And then I get in trouble. Yeah, but I know you're that way, too. You have the same problem.

[B]

That's why I'm gonna be quiet for at least five seconds while I clear

[A]

my mind while you morph into Val Kilmer. This has been an absolute delight. Seriously, you're just a lovely person and an amazing talent, and.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

I know you're crazy busy, and we've been trying for a while to say, like, getting you in here was quite a task, which was. That's a compliment. Because when people tell you I can do it whenever I'm in my house waiting to do that podcast, it's never a good sign. I'm talking about you, Al Pacino.

[C]

Oh, wait.

[B]

You know what? I do want to plug one more movie that's coming out on the same day.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's called Late Fame, and it's with Willem Dafoe and I, and it's a movie that takes place in New York City, directed by Kent Jones, and it's a real special, precious gem of a film that's coming out on the same day. How can we see that in theaters? Yes.

[A]

Is it also Netflix?

[B]

No.

[A]

Oh, good. It'll have sound.

[B]

It'll have sound. No. But Willem is so incredible in it, and I just. Sammy Burch wrote our script. She did May December. And it's the Past Lives team. It's Christine Michonne and Pam Koffler. It's amazing.

[A]

Willem Dafoe can play the most diametrically opposed characters in the film.

[B]

Yes, he can.

[A]

And, you know, I'm thinking about him in Grand Budapest Hotel, where he's this hilariously comic assassin. But then he can, you know, I mean, think about the different roles he's played where it bears no relationship to the role he just did. You know, he's a shapeshifter and a lovely guy. When I talk to him, he's just really lovely.

[B]

Absolutely lovely. And the things he can do with his face. I just don't understand his musculature in his face. And yet it's the performances for me, like Florida Project and this movie, the ones where he takes it all away and it's just. I mean, he's not playing himself, but where so much of the other really joyful things we get to see him do is stripped away. I find that version of him so compelling. And that's this movie. So enjoy, everyone. And it has sound.

[A]

And the name of that film again is Late Fame. All right.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Get the word out on that film, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Should we go?

[B]

Should I go now?

[A]

Oh, I want you out of here so badly. You were terrible today. You're just babbling. I do hope you can come back sometime because I feel like we just scratched the surface. But thank you so much for stopping by. Thanks for having me. Yeah. And just things have sped up a lot for you, and that's a great thing. And I don't even think I have to say this to you, but I just wish you take care of yourself.

[C]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

You know what I mean? Protect yourself. Protect you and your family time and all that, because it's Gretamania out there.

[B]

Oh, gosh.

[A]

Yeah. And I know what it's like, trust me. Then I just start crying. Blood. Thank you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

You know, when it comes to health and wellness, you have to trust what you're putting in your body. You can't just grab anything, close your eyes and jam it in your mouth hole. That's not the way to go.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

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[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you know T Mobile recently partnered with the National Park Foundation?

[C]

No way.

[A]

Yep. They're making it easier to stay connected, so you're free to wander.

[C]

Well, that's really cool.

[A]

And I love a national park. I really do.

[C]

I do, too.

[A]

Now there's One thing you have to have if you're doing that good signal, it's a priority. Do you know what I mean? You got your maps, your music, this podcast. Yeah, so take America's best network plus their off grid satellite coverage with you. Look, we're all a little spoiled, but we like to have access to all our stuff and suddenly you don't have it because of a bad single. That's when I throw my phone into the Grand Canyon.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Literally filled half the Grand Canyon with phones. Then I got T mobile. Never had to chuck them again, you know.

[C]

Good.

[A]

So wander over to t mobile.com and switch best based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data for 2H 2025. Wow, that's some sentence. T satellite with cable device in most outdoor areas in US where you see the sky, that's important. You gotta see the sky.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Service may be limited or unavailable. Included with experience beyond or $10per month auto renews cancel anytime. That was probably meant to be said by a robot really quickly, but I just did it slowly so you could really understand. Disclaimer Please do not throw your phone into the Grand Canyon. Don't freak out, but there's an island in the Caribbean that loves both of you. David. Sona. And I think I'm loved too. It's called Aruba. It's the most welcoming place on earth. Have you been to Aruba?

[B]

I haven't.

[A]

It's fantastic.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Now that's the good news. This island loves you. Here's the bad news. You can't feel any of that love from your sofa or your desk or whatever heavy machinery you're operating. You gotta fly on down there, walk on its beaches and soak in the sun. And then you'll feel that love. That's how you have to do it. I'm giving you both time off. I'll fund the whole thing.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

And you gotta get to Aruba because when you love Aruba, it loves you back. Plan your trip [e-mail] offer a free vacation for Sona and David. Not real. What? I just found out some very exciting news. Check this out. David. What? Sona told me yesterday that her husband, Tak Tkesian.

[C]

Ugh. Takbaroyan.

[A]

What's that?

[C]

Takbarroyin.

[A]

Does it matter?

[C]

Yeah, it's his last name. It's not Takisian. Okay, well, Armenian names don't work like that. They're not just like.

[A]

I thought that was just whatever. As long as it ended I a n. It was okay.

[C]

Yes. You know what? Some of them do actually work that way. They take the name and then they put I a n at the end.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I always called him Taktakesian, but that's not it. It's Freyan. But anyway, Taktakesian, your husband, father of your beautiful children. Lovely guy. Funny, talented. Yesterday, he hit a huge milestone. Can you tell us what that is?

[C]

He tested for his black belt, which is very. In a very intense thing. And he got his black belt after seven years.

[A]

This is incredible.

[C]

With this specific dojo. He got his black belt.

[A]

You know what? I would. First of all, I just love that I got you to say dojo. Cause it's one of my favorite words. But this is amazing. How many belts are there?

[C]

Well, for his, because his is very traditional. There's only three belts. There's white, brown, and black. But there's degrees to each one.

[A]

Right.

[C]

So there, you know, there's like a. You get like. I think. I don't know, three degrees of white, and then you qualify for brown. Then there's three, I think, degrees for brown belt, and then you qualify for black. And they only test for black belts once a year. He was supposed to test last year, but he got food poisoning. Sorry. It's not funny. It's not funny. I think he had nerves. I really do. But he got sick and couldn't do it, so he had to wait a full year before he could test again.

[A]

That's incredible. He was so close to getting this, maybe the coolest award anyone can have.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And he got a little dummy trouble. I've got some dummy trouble.

[B]

No.

[C]

Yeah. But he says.

[A]

Did he throw up all over the dojo?

[C]

No cake. You just wanted to say dojo.

[A]

Maybe I did.

[C]

Yeah. No, he tested and he did it, and I'm very proud of him. It's something he's been working for.

[A]

And that's cool. I mean, it must have been so cool for him to have passed that test. He must have been just feeling so good about himself, you know?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

I mean, he must have felt like, I'm really in such a great. Everything's going my way. He must have had mojo in the dojo. I was waiting.

[C]

I can't. I can't. I will say you think he had

[A]

mojo in the dojo.

[C]

I'm not gonna say he got mojo in the dojo, and I'm not.

[A]

He just did. Thank you. Okay. So anyway, Sona. Sona.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

This is a big deal.

[C]

It is.

[A]

And all my life I've been hearing that cliched phrase. You better watch out. I'm a black belt in karate now. He gets to say that?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Does he say karate or karate?

[C]

He says karate like he says it properly. And I think they make fun of people who are like, karate. Like, they make fun of people like that.

[A]

Now what was the, do you know what the test was?

[C]

They have, like, katas, which are, you know, you have to, you know.

[A]

Did he have to fight a bunch of other guys?

[C]

Memorized movements, like spar. I don't think he sparred, but it's like, it's a pretty intense.

[A]

In my mind, it's like one of those classic, you know, Bruce Lee movies where he has to work his way up a tower. You know, each room. Do you know what I mean? Kareem Abdul Jabbar is in one. You know, there's different. There's 790jas in another, and he just has to keep working his way through. I so wish that that was the case. But no, he just went through some various.

[C]

Yeah, they, like, told him stuff and he had to do it. And it's all about how smooth he is and how sharp he is.

[A]

And what about breaking stuff?

[C]

I don't know. I mean, he didn't really tax. Not like you have to, like, fish information out of him. And so I, I, he doesn't really,

[A]

he's not open about his last name,

[C]

you know, so it's Brian. His last name is Boroyan.

[A]

So, yeah, Takisian.

[C]

It's Brian.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But he, no, he had to do a test, and it's in front of a lot of other black belt and in front of everybody who's at this special training thing, which is a lot of people from all over the country. So it's, it's a pretty intense thing. And there was six people who were testing.

[A]

I think it would be better. First of all, it just doesn't. This doesn't make for a good story. I would have added some things like. Yeah, at one point, they release six apes and he has to sub, he has to subdue them all. Wouldn't that be great? They tie. Yeah, they tie bananas. They tie bananas to his body. And then six apes, six ravenous apes are released and he has to fight them all off.

[C]

I don't like that test now.

[A]

Was karate chopping part of the.

[C]

I knew I said it before we recorded. I said, don't say anything about chopping.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

And I'm surprised you went this far. Yeah, you made it pretty long without chopping.

[A]

I went much longer than I thought. I would. I've always loved the idea of someone, let's say like Tack, who's a black belt, before they attack someone or defend themselves, say, I chop you, I chop you. And then they give them a karate chop. Do you think he ever would if he was in a bad situation, had to karate chop his way out of it, Would he start yelling at his assailants, I chop you. I chop you. And then chop him.

[C]

He's going to say, I chop you. Although I might say my husband's a black belt. He'll chop you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I might chop and say it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Has he taught you any moves?

[C]

No, he hasn't. He hasn't. I actually, no, he has. He's like, he's taught me some self defense moves just so I know them, but also I'm mouthy and so because

[A]

there have been a couple instances he breaks boards. You break balls.

[C]

Yeah, I do. But I do think, I do think there's times when I've let my mouth kind of get ahead of me and then he's had to like jump in and like settle things.

[A]

Oh, you mean out in the world?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

You've taught, you've, you've. Because you have a, a hair trigger temper.

[C]

I'm a shitster.

[A]

And you get mad. I've been with you. When you start to get into it with someone and tackle can intervene and calm you.

[C]

No, he's like very old school where he like, he will defend my honor and he'll like get into it with whoever's doing it. And because he's my muscle, he now knows like, he's always known how to like really fight. He grew up learning knowing how to fight cause he was like a little immigrant kid and people used to pick on him. And so he's always had that. But you know, now it's like he's a black belt in karate. He'll chop you and then, and then. Yeah, so I came.

[A]

So you said, I'll chop you, I'll chop you? No, he'll chop you. Yeah, I think that would be. So you'd be in a situation where you're driving, he's in the passenger seat, someone cuts you off, you beep your horn, maybe give him the finger and they yell at you and say, you can't drive, you're a bad driver. Would he jump out of the car and say, I will defend your honor?

[C]

No. I mean there was an incident at a gas station once where these two people were picking on this older man and they were like threatening him when he got out of the car and so I started yelling and then one of them started yelling at me. And then Tack came out of the store and he's like, don't talk to my wife that way. And it got very intense.

[A]

Wow, Good for him.

[C]

But nothing happened.

[A]

Good for him. What I would, in the same situation, I'm being honest, if someone was. We were a gas station, I was inside and someone was screaming at Liza, I'd come out and say, when you're done yelling at my wife.

[C]

No, Conan, no.

[A]

Because I would say, well, this is your affair here. This is your business. When you're done screaming at my wife, oh my God. I will move the car so you can pull in.

[C]

Okay. You would give them your spot at the pump.

[A]

Best not to be hurt. But now I can say, you know, you're yelling at my wife. My friend. Tack chop you. Tack chop you. He chop you. He chop you good. That's the one I like. We can hire Tack as like a security guard for you.

[C]

He chop you good. I, I feel like every guy thinks one day they'll become a black belt in karate. I feel like that's like the sort of.

[A]

I have never thought you guys have

[C]

never wanted to be in karate. Learn karate and then become a black belt.

[A]

No, he wants to be the person who's seen the most musicals non stop in a nine week period. You don't need karate for that. Yeah. And you should see the belt that comes with that. It's a really very shiny, very. It's a very colorful, fun belt. It's a sassy belt. Yeah, but, but Sona, I think this is very cool that he can do this now. And I am curious if it has practical applications. Of course, Karate. I'm sorry, karate.

[C]

Yeah, I think it does. I think knowing any kind of martial art is good for you.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[C]

You don't think so?

[A]

No, no, I'm not saying I don't think so. I just am curious. I don't know, you think it's all

[C]

like chopping boards and like kicking the air, but you're just wondering, does that actually translate if you're in a fight?

[A]

If you're in a fight, I'm sure it does, Yes.

[C]

I think it does.

[A]

I'm sure it does, yes. I think just say yes.

[C]

I think even just saying black belts and karate, bitch, then that's enough to scare somebody.

[A]

I don't know. It's such a cliche. I'm a black belt in karate. I would just start laughing if someone said that to Me.

[C]

Me. And you would not be. No. If someone was coming into your face and they're like, I'm a black belt. And karate, you'd be like, okay, sorry, bro. No.

[A]

You'd start doing bits. Yeah, I do bits.

[C]

Oh, yeah. You would never say bro. I don't know why I would think you would say bro.

[D]

Bro.

[A]

What are you talking about? I'd say, he is not. He is no sibling of mine.

[C]

And then they just beat you badly.

[A]

Yeah, I once, when I was at late night, I. One of the writers studied m. Martial arts, and he's since passed away. Brian Rich. But he's a really funny writer, really. And it's tragic that he's gone. But he was very serious about studying, I think, martial arts. And I told him that I had studied a defense called the Cube, where you trace the outlines of a cube with your hand and you never stop, and you cover every side. And I said, if you do that, you can't penetrate the Cube with a blow. And I would do the Cube to him, and he would go to, like, slap me, and basically I would just then move my hand so that would knock the hand that was slapping at me. But it had nothing to do with the Cube. But I kept talking about the Cube, and I. I think I drove him insane. Cause he kept saying, well, I don't understand how. What do you mean? It's the Cube. You're not doing anything. You're just. The minute my hand starts to come near you, you just bat away at my hand.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

But you're. What is the cube? And I'd be like, no, it's the Cube defense. It's been worked out mathematically. And if I trace that, and if you can see this on video, I would just do this and say, it's the cub miming.

[C]

He's miming a cube.

[A]

I'm miming making a cube with my hands by moving my hands around in a, you know, geometric pattern.

[C]

Yes. And the least threatening thing I've ever seen. Stupidest thing. You look like you're voguing.

[A]

Yeah, it looks like. Yes, it looks like I'm Madonna voguing. It looks like I'm voguing. But I would say, it's the Cube, man. Nothing gets through the Cube. It just made him crazy. And then when my son was old enough, when he was like seven, I started telling him, yeah, I know, the Cube defense. I started doing the same bullshit with my son, and he was like, what does that mean? It does. No, you're just. That's not anything. What is that? So that's why he doesn't talk to me.

[C]

It's a wonder you haven't been. Can I be very sincere? It's a wonder you haven't been beaten up more than you.

[A]

I was beaten up. I was beaten up. But it's.

[C]

It's a. It's an. It's surprising you haven't been beaten up more. But I think in a way, maybe God made you tall because he knew this would be how you are. So that it would be. You would be threatening looking. I don't actually threaten.

[A]

You see me in person. I don't look like someone you'd necessarily want to mess with.

[D]

Exactly.

[C]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

[B]

And you're.

[C]

And you're in good shape and you look like you could also.

[A]

I have so much untapped rage. I think that would work in my favor. Eduardo, do you agree with this? I agree, though I would go, you know, I. I do think I have a lot of anger and I'm very physical, so I might snap. I'd be more hesitant to fight the guy with the cube than the guy who says he has a black belt in corrupt because you don't know what I'm going to do. Crazy.

[C]

Cuz you seem ill. You're unpredictable and unwell. Yeah. And who knows? No one wants to fight crazy.

[A]

Yeah, no one wants to fight crazy. So congratulations to Tax.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Very proud boy. And I'll. I'll get this right someday.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And I hope he don't chop you.

[C]

Oh, my God. He's not going to chop me. Don't say chop. Why did you have to end it? Why?

[A]

I chop you. And I chop and I chop and I chop again. It's just so funny. If he would narrate his karate chops like that. I chop you. Now I chop you again. Now I chop you three times. That's a chop and a chop and a chop. That's not how karate works. I know something's wrong with me.

[D]

Conan o' Brien needs a friend. With Conan o' Brien, Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley Produced by me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Theme song by the White Stripes incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples, engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail] Conan and if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a friend Wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[A]

Everyone is talking about Matthew Reese's new horror comed Widow's Bay on Apple TV, which was just nominated for 19 Emmy Awards. Yeah, I am a massive fan of Widow's Bay.

[C]

Me too.

[A]

And Matthew Rhys. I think the writing on this show is spectacular. All the performances are great. One of my favorite new shows.

[C]

Same.

[A]

Absolutely terrific. Matthew plays the mayor of a quaint but cursed island off the coast of New England. He's trying to bring tourism back to help the struggling community. When he begins to succeed in getting visitors to Widow's Bay, some very creepy things start to happen and chaos ensues. It's a really good show. You can watch all episodes of Widow's Bay now@FYC appletv.com Finding a skilled hire takes more than just reviewing a resume. You know what I mean? You can't just go bleep bleep bleep bleep. That doesn't get it done as AI raises the bar on how experience is presented. Hiring managers need better ways to evaluate skills and fit. That's where Robert Half can help help their recruiters combine their expertise with award winning AI to review what's behind every application quickly. And that's important quickly. Who's got time these days? No one. Learn how they can help you find specialized talent in finance, accounting, technology and more at Robert Half. They know talent. Visit roberthalf.com talent today.