Atsuko Okatsuka

Summary

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend – Atsuko Okatsuka

Episode Release Date: June 15, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and heartfelt installment, Conan O’Brien welcomes comedian Atsuko Okatsuka, whose standup special "Father" is acclaimed for its blend of deeply personal storytelling and sharp comedy. The conversation traverses Atsuko’s complex upbringing—moving from Taiwan to Japan, then immigrating (and living undocumented) in the US—her mother's mental illness, her grandmother’s criminal-level resourcefulness, and finding identity and belonging as an outsider. The discussion also explores themes of family, resilience, creativity, and finding humor in adversity, sprinkled with offbeat humor from Conan, Sona, and Matt.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comic Banter: Vices, Death Row Meals & Morbid Restaurants

[02:00–10:40]

• The group jokes about taking up smoking or heroin in old age, leading to a riff on "Death Row"—a restaurant concept where diners order their final meals in a prison cell, complete with a priest, then are "led to the car" instead of execution.
  • Memorable Quote:
    “What if there was a restaurant called Death Row...you order your last meal in a cell, a priest comes, and then instead of the electric chair you get valet parking. This is brilliant!”
    — Conan, [07:41]
• Sona quips about wanting a room full of hummus as her last wish, while Matt pivots the joke to "Rest-a-Room", a restaurant where every seat is an open toilet.

2. Meeting Atsuko: Los Angeles Comedy, Cultural Impressions & Iconic Looks

[10:50–19:44]

• Conan recounts first meeting Atsuko outside LA’s Elysian Theater, reflecting on how standing on a sidewalk in LA is often viewed with suspicion.
• The group discusses their awkward relationships with ‘nature’ and “touching grass” (both literal and metaphorical).
• The conversation veers into Atsuko’s unique, intentional bowl haircut—its cross-cultural roots, and her conscious decision to embrace the “outsider” look as a badge of authenticity.
  • Notable Exchange:
    "If I'm gonna be the weirdo self I am on the inside, I’ll just show it on the outside so people know immediately: you’re safe, you’re a fellow weirdo."
    — Atsuko, [18:39]

3. Humor as Survival: Atsuko’s Origin Story

[25:33–35:49]

• In-depth discussion of Atsuko’s upbringing:
  • Born in Taiwan, lived in Japan until 8, then “kidnapped” to LA by her enterprising grandmother under a fake two-month vacation.
  • Her mother’s schizophrenia and her grandmother’s refusal to let circumstances dictate their fate.
  • Living undocumented in a garage in LA, learning English and Chinese, dealing with isolation, and the silence at home.
  • Using humor as a way to break tense, silent dinners, and to connect with extended family.
• Memorable Moment:
  "Dinner at home...just silence, like we witnessed a funeral. Eventually I started making little jokes. One time my aunt just asked for salt; we all jumped because someone talked!”
  — Atsuko, [35:08]

4. Finding Community: Church, Comedy, and Outsider Belonging

[36:50–43:53]

• The church as an entry point for immigrant community, offering food, friends, and accidental religious conversion.
• Choir mishaps: getting kicked out by her uncle (the choir director) after an overzealous Easter cantata performance, partly for singing loud and sometimes in English.
• The shock of discovering her undocumented status as a teenager, when she couldn’t get a driver’s license due to lacking a Social Security number.
  • “I only realized I was undocumented because I wanted to drive...and my grandma said, ‘Well, you can’t, we don’t have Social Security numbers.’” — Atsuko, [43:30]

5. American Teenagehood: Cheerleader Outsider & Undocumented Identity

[44:32–51:27]

• In high school, Atsuko found her first American friends as a cheerleader at Venice High, where her teammates were more 'Bring It On' than wholesome pep:
  • “Some of the girls, their boyfriends were part of the Crips...one captain borrowed my car for an abortion and was back for 6th period!”
    — Atsuko, [47:10]
• The cheer squad vs. flag team parking lot brawl: Atsuko’s role as jewelry holder and “cheerleader on the sidelines.”

6. Her Father, ‘Father’, and Comedy Success

[51:42–57:19]

• Discussion of Atsuko’s special "Father", reconciling with her estranged father, and the poignancy of performing to an adoring Japanese audience after 22 years away:
  • “I tried saying 'Tadaima, I’m home' and thousands answered, 'Welcome home.' I almost broke down. My dad was there. ...It was really cool to reconnect like that.” — Atsuko, [56:14]
• Her grandmother's cunning—winning the visa lottery and navigating complex U.S. immigration rules via church grandma networks.
• Atsuko’s enduring motivation: to make her (often shut-in) mom laugh, and to create a sense of belonging for other outsiders through comedy.

7. Closing: Kindred Spirits and the Conan Cheer

[58:21–59:06]

• Genuine expressions of admiration—Conan calls Atsuko a kindred spirit and champions her Emmy hopes.
• Atsuko channels her cheerleader days leading the group in a Conan-themed cheer.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Feeling Suspicious About Being Conan’s Friend:
  "Hi, I’m Atsuko Okatsuka, and I feel honored and a little suspicious about being Conan O'Brien’s friend."
  — Atsuko, [01:17]
• On the Power of Iconic Appearance:
  “Aesthetically, something that makes a person iconic is—can someone draw you very well? Like, in silhouette like The Simpsons... we see Sona's hair, your hairstyle, your glasses.”
  — Atsuko, [16:06]
• On Outsider Identity:
  “If you let your freak...is it freak flag fly? What a tongue twister. ...Embracing [being an outsider] lets people know, yeah, let your freak flag fly.”
  — Atsuko, [19:28]
• On Grandmother’s Ingenuity:
  “My grandma, don’t get me wrong, she is a criminal. She masterminded so much—took me to America, got us our green cards, ran a grandma network from church!”
  — Atsuko, [30:07]
• On Stand-Up As Expression:
  “It’s all about wanting to be seen and wanting others to feel seen too.”
  — Atsuko, [25:33]
• On Making Her Mom Laugh:
  “I was honestly afraid of her most of my life, but I knew how to make my uncle and aunt laugh. ...I started making little jokes, just trying to make it easier for me.”
  — Atsuko, [34:03]

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Memorable and Funny Side Tangents

• Restaurant Concepts:
  "Death Row" – a last-meal themed restaurant with cells instead of tables.
  "Rest-a-Room" – a (fictional) restaurant where every seat is an open toilet.
• Conan’s Aging Fantasy: Wanting to start smoking only at old age, just to look “really cool.”
• Flag Team/Pom Pom Battle Royal:
  “It’s West Side Story with flags...The uniforms help a lot.”
  — Conan, [49:04]

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Timestamps for Notable Segments

• [02:00] — Bubble gum cigarettes, smoking, and Death Row restaurant riff
• [10:50] — Meeting Atsuko, LA sidewalk culture, embracing outsider looks
• [25:33] — Atsuko’s early life, family dynamics, humor as survival
• [36:50] — Church, choir mishaps, immigration status revelation
• [44:32] — High school, cheerleading, teen drama, and social groups
• [51:42] — Special "Father", reconciling with her dad, return to Japan
• [58:21] — Emotional wrap-up, cheer, mutual admiration

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Episode Tone & Vibe

The tone is unfiltered, often absurd, but always empathetic and curious. Conan and his co-hosts play with taboo and darkness, but return to genuine warmth, especially with Atsuko's openness about hardship, identity, and comedy as connection. The camaraderie between the hosts and guest is infectious, balancing irreverent humor with real emotional resonance.

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Key Takeaways for New Listeners

• Atsuko’s comedic voice is deeply shaped by her outsider experience—immigration, family mental illness, and “embracing weirdness”.
• Her path to stand-up was unconventional—the only ‘comic’ in an often-silent, struggling household, using laughter to build bridges and survive.
• Conan and Atsuko bond over both their iconoclastic appearances and their drive to put others at ease, however awkward the setting.
• Despite wildly different backgrounds, the conversation ultimately lands on the universal quest for belonging, self-acceptance, and the healing power of laughter.

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For More Atsuko

Catch her standup special "Father" on Hulu & Disney.
Follow her for updates on tours and new material.

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Summary compiled in the irreverent and heartfelt spirit of the show.

Transcript

[Conan O'Brien]

Ever invest in something that seemed incredible at first but didn't live up to the hype?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, like all the time.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I did that with an all potato restaurant.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, no.

[Conan O'Brien]

Marketers know that feeling. They optimize for the numbers that look great, like impressions, but then they don't see revenue. You know what I'm talking about? Don't you see that?

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, yeah, all the time.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, LinkedIn has a word for that. Bullspend bull spin. Yeah. Instead you can get the highest roas of major ad networks with LinkedIn ads. Cut the bull. Spend. Advertise on LinkedIn. Spend $250 and get a $250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.comconant Terms apply. Grainger knows. When you're a procurement manager for an

[Sona Movsesian]

office park, you're not managing one building,

[Conan O'Brien]

you're managing all of them.

[Sona Movsesian]

And to stay ahead, you need to see through walls and around corners.

[Conan O'Brien]

Lights about to fail, filters ready to

[Sona Movsesian]

clog H Vac on its last leg.

[Conan O'Brien]

If you wait until something breaks, you're already behind.

[Sona Movsesian]

Count on Grainger for quality products, easy reordering and 24.

[Conan O'Brien]

7 support. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click grainger.com or just stop

[Sona Movsesian]

by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Hi, I'm Atsuko Okotsuka, and I feel honored and a little suspicious about being Conan o' Brien's friend.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now, where does this suspicion come from?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

It's too good to be true.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's really not. When you get to know me

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Fall is here Hear the yell Back to school Ring the bell Brand new shoes Walking blues Climb the fence Books and pens I can tell that we are

[Conan O'Brien]

gonna be friends Yes, I can tell

[Sona Movsesian]

that we are gonna be friends

[Conan O'Brien]

hey there. Welcome to Conor Brian Needs a Friend. Joined as always by Sonam Obsessian.

[Sona Movsesian]

Hello.

[Conan O'Brien]

And wow, that was. Hello, Hello.

[Matt Gourley]

You said it. Australia.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hello, Hello. And Matt Goerli. And I'm happy. I've got a bubble gum cigarette.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, it puff puffs like candy puff cigarette.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, it's got a little powdered sugar in it. David hopping for my birthday gave me a bunch of boxes of candy cigarettes. And yeah, it looks like smoke's coming out because you blow a little powdered sugar. But sometimes I have them hanging out of my lip. They're just up in my office. And he sent. He gave me a lot of them. I'll be honest with you.

[Sona Movsesian]

Do you think you look cool?

[Conan O'Brien]

I think I look super cool.

[Matt Gourley]

I think you do kind of look cool.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. And you know me, I'm Always kind of fascinated with smoking.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, me too.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because it would be a great prop. It'd be a great thing to have. Also, I like all the accoutrements to go with a cigarette. Yeah. You know, the really cool lighters and maybe that little, you know, art deco cigarette case, the one that stops a bullet, you know? Yes, yeah, yes. Very noir. And I always think, I've never seen a movie. I always think, yeah. So I've been trying to gauge when I can start smoking. Now, listen, let me go out of my way to say people don't smoke. You shouldn't smoke. No one smoke. It's bad to smoke.

[Matt Gourley]

But you want to time it with

[Conan O'Brien]

when I want to time it.

[Matt Gourley]

I feel the same about heroin.

[Sona Movsesian]

What?

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm serious.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, you know, people, these amazing experiences and you think, I don't know when I start to get, you know, to within a certain amount of time before my, my, my clock is going to run out. Yeah, maybe I'd start smoking and maybe I'd be a really cool looking old guy who's smoking. And I have a really neat, like, sort of gold Dunhill lighter from London and I have this little case of cigarettes and I pop one. I got one going on the side of my lip and it's hanging off right there. And people are like, wow, he's really cool. And he's going to die very soon because he's old. But what do we think? Is that something that's viable or. I mean, I don't think I'll do

[Sona Movsesian]

it, but it's like if you get diagnosed with something terminal, like when you're like 85, 90, is that what you mean? Then you'll start, then you'll take up smoking.

[Conan O'Brien]

But the minute you're diagnosed with something like that, they're like, you know, no, this medicine we're giving you, there's still a chance. They never say. True. They always say, there's still a chance.

[Matt Gourley]

Doctors say, you've got exactly a week. Here's some heroin.

[Conan O'Brien]

Go for it.

[Sona Movsesian]

The doctor's giving you heroin.

[Matt Gourley]

Well, my doctor.

[Conan O'Brien]

I want my doctor to say, you have 45 years left. But this won't really kick in till you're 50. For 55 years, if you smoke these unfiltered. So you know what I mean. So I get to enjoy smoking a cigarette for a really long time.

[Matt Gourley]

I see. Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

And trust me, I think I would hate inhaling smoke. What I basically do want is a more convincing bubble gum cigarette. And I want a lighter. It puts a little extra Sugar powder on my cigarette.

[Matt Gourley]

It caramelizes it.

[Conan O'Brien]

It caramelizes my bubble gum cigarette.

[Matt Gourley]

You don't want to.

[Sona Movsesian]

To smoke. You just want the accessories that come with smoking.

[Matt Gourley]

That's what he's saying.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, I know, but it's like you don't actually want to take up smoking.

[Conan O'Brien]

I want, though, something hanging out of my lip that I can play around with, do little tricks. I can blow smoke from wheat. What wheat?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I don't know

[Conan O'Brien]

wheat. A piece of straw, like a farmer toothpick doesn't weed. Oh, that's the same. Yeah, I love it. If all my noir detective movies had Humphrey Bogart chewing on some wheat, it's the opposite effect. Yeah. And he's like, of all the dames to walk into my place, she walks into mine. Look at those games. Chomp, chomp, chomp. What is he, a horse? I could while away the hours.

[Sona Movsesian]

I'm just thinking other things that could hang out of your mouth that can be acceptable. And the first image that came to my mind was wheat that a farmer does.

[Conan O'Brien]

Celery. A rutabaga.

[Matt Gourley]

No, a toothbrick, I think, like cobra.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. That is a matchstick. Really? Looks like you're trying hard.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, so you think heroin for you. I mean, we're talking. And again, this is. We're telling people you can't do these things. These things are terrible. We're just talking about when you've got a very short amount of time left. One of the things we would do.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah. I've never done hard drugs, but I would love when I'm at death's door to know what heroin feels like. Because everybody that talks about it every movie I've seen.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, no. It's all. I don't think so.

[Matt Gourley]

You don't think heroin is a magical experience? Haven't you seen train spotting?

[Conan O'Brien]

You go through a toilet. I just know that.

[Sona Movsesian]

Haven't you ever seen Requiem Laundry?

[Conan O'Brien]

The only thing looked disgusting. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I know. I'm the. You're the only guy that looks at train spotting as aspirational. Wow. I could hang out in a really grimy Scottish bathroom with a bunch of skinheads.

[Matt Gourley]

No, I'm talking about the upswing of heroin. And you have none of the bad stuff after because you're dead. Of actual causes anyway.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. This is so dark. I want to just be the voice of reason and say, I have a bubble gum cigarette and I think there's nothing cooler.

[Matt Gourley]

I'm talking about bubblegum heroin.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Oh.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, okay, okay. Well, that's what I would do.

[Sona Movsesian]

I can't think of anything that I'm like, oh, I want to try that.

[Conan O'Brien]

You mean just before you go.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think if you were told you had maybe a month to live, you would say, I want a whole room filled with hummus. Don't you think? Because you love hummus.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's good for you. It's garbanzo beans.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, but a whole room.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes, I want a whole room.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Room.

[Sona Movsesian]

But also. No, it wouldn't be. It would be like just all the bad food you're not supposed to eat, all the steaks, all the candy, all the chocolate.

[Conan O'Brien]

But you know what? No one does that. No one does it on Death Row.

[Matt Gourley]

They do when they get their last meal.

[Sona Movsesian]

Fried chicken.

[Conan O'Brien]

You are dark today. Look at you go. You're a very dark, dark blend today. Are heroin, you.

[Sona Movsesian]

And also you thought about this. You had heroin in your back pocket.

[Conan O'Brien]

What about this? What if they. There was a restaurant called Death Row. And. And you go. And there's different cells instead of tables and you order your last meal and you can say whatever you want. It's like, I want fried chicken, I want a triple cheeseburger. I want this. And they bring you a very high quality version of those things. And then a priest comes in and sits with you. And then you're led out, but instead of to the electric chair, it's to your car, where a valet hands you the key. This is brilliant. That's a great idea.

[Sona Movsesian]

He's dark. You're talking about.

[Conan O'Brien]

But it's a restaurant. He's talking about death. I'm talking a good.

[Matt Gourley]

Everybody gets morphine on the way out, mostly if you die in a hospital anyway.

[Conan O'Brien]

So. What is wrong with you?

[Sona Movsesian]

So I would.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

You know what?

[Sona Movsesian]

I really want to try morphine one day.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, you know what?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Medicinal.

[Conan O'Brien]

Guess what your restaurant's called Hospice. Good luck with that. Mine's called Death Row. It's a huge deal. It's going to be on Melrose in Los Angeles. Everyone's going to go.

[Matt Gourley]

I once had an idea for a restaurant called Rest a Room and Every. It's a regular restaurant, but everybody sits at an open toilet.

[Sona Movsesian]

What? No. But why?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Oh, my God. It's not real, girls.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's just a joke. But wait, how does it work?

[Matt Gourley]

It's called Rest a Room.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. You get your meal and your chair is a toilet.

[Matt Gourley]

And so you don't have to go to the bathroom. You have to excuse.

[Conan O'Brien]

Are you sitting there with your pants around your ankles so hard. Are you sitting there with your. With your pants around your ankles.

[Matt Gourley]

If you like.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sure, if you like. If you like.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

He had to say it's not real, by the way.

[Conan O'Brien]

Caveat. It doesn't exist.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, you two are the worst.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're restaurant. You're with us in this.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, mine is like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. My idea of what I want to do before I die is Willy Wonka. Okay, Yours is smoking. Yours is heroin. Which one is the sunniest one out of all of these?

[Conan O'Brien]

I'd like to end on my idea for a restaurant. Death row. Everyone's. This is my idea. I know people listening right now are rushing.

[Matt Gourley]

It's a good idea.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's a really good idea.

[Matt Gourley]

A like food stock and, and chef.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's like Cheesecake Factory.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's like the Cheesecake Factory. It's got a menu that big. And I think you call ahead so they can get it all ready. You call ahead? Yeah. This is a very expensive restaurant.

[Sona Movsesian]

But like I would want like in n out cheeseburgers.

[Conan O'Brien]

Exactly. They take.

[Sona Movsesian]

Can I call them? And they would bring in.

[Conan O'Brien]

They take care of other places. They take care of everything.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah. But you have to wear prison overalls and you're in a cell and the priest is. I don't care what your religion. And it's a Catholic priest because that's what's in the movies and that's non

[Matt Gourley]

negotiable phones from the governor. From the.

[Conan O'Brien]

And all the bad news comes in.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Nope, nope. The governor went to bed.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, it's not gonna happen.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. And then you get your really good meal and then they lead you. Oh, it's. Oh, you know what it is? It is an electric chair or a gas chamber. And then at the last second that they. You veer away from that and it's the valet parking and you get a little doggy bag.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

It's a great idea.

[Matt Gourley]

Or it's the gas chamber and you sit on. It's an open toilet and say we're back in business. We're back in business.

[Sona Movsesian]

All roads lead back to toilets.

[Conan O'Brien]

I just remembered we have a guest.

[Sona Movsesian]

A big toilet guy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Who's our guest today? My guest today, thanks for asking, is a hilarious comedian whose standup special Father is available to stream on Hulu and Disney. She's incredibly talented. She's amazing. I cannot wait to speak with her today. Welcome. Atsuko Okotsuka. I have been aware of your work, which I think is fantastic for a while and then we met outside a comedy club in Los Angeles. What a blessing on the street. And we were just talking about what a great experience that is. I was getting ready for the Oscars, and so I was hitting all these out of the way clubs and we were outside the Elysian. Is that right?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

That's right. The Elysian Theater.

[Conan O'Brien]

Elysian Theater, yeah. And I'm. You know, when you stand on the sidewalk in Los Angeles, this is what's unique about Los Angeles. Any other place you stand on the sidewalk. But if you're on the sidewalk in Los Angeles, people think that you're unmedicated and dangerous. So, I mean, it's just so weird. But there was just all these comedians standing around. I was talking to them and then all unwell. All unwell, including myself, peeing on ourselves.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Who are we? Dogs. You know? Right. People are on the sidewalk.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

They don't have cars. Yeah. People were.

[Conan O'Brien]

If you walk in Los Angeles, there's been occasions where, you know, you park your car and then you walk a couple of blocks to the pharmacy. And if people see you walking in la, the assumption is something's very wrong.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah. Conan's going through a breakup. Conan's.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what I mean?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I always tell my husband, like. Cause sometimes he'll be like, I'll go on a walk. I said, on a walk. We don't do walks.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

You know, we're very pale and we're like nighttime people. And we've tried nature, but it's. Nature is hard. Nature is hard for us because we're very, like. We tried it. We went to, like, Joshua Tree, you know, because we got inspired by other people's Instagram posts.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

And while we were out there in nature, we were like, oh, no. We ran out of things to talk about.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, right.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Things like that. Anyway, so I said, don't go too far. People might think we broke up. And so that's kind of the thing.

[Conan O'Brien]

But I love that you describe nature like it's a dangerous medication.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's so scary.

[Conan O'Brien]

I tried nature once and I really didn't like it.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Conan, it's just you and your thoughts.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

For hours, possibly.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

You know what I mean? You're like, oh, you know, how long can I touch grass for? Until I'm like, okay, I've felt it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

And now it's back to my thoughts.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, Oscar, you don't.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

It's terrifying.

[Conan O'Brien]

You don't go into nature and then just touch grass with your. You don't kneel down and touch grass with your forefinger.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

What do they mean by It. What do they mean by touch grass? I say, okay, and. Like there's a trap.

[Conan O'Brien]

No.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Okay, What's. How long?

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm going to tell you right now. As. As your. As your friend and your physician, I'm going to tell you right now. You're never to go. You're never to go. And your botanist. You're never to go in nature again. I don't think any amount of talking to you is going to make this a healthy experience.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Do. You said you're not supposed to go and just touch grass. What?

[Conan O'Brien]

No. You're just supposed to be in it and walk around and breathe the air and let it sort of gradually. It's not a thing you accomplish. You're. You have very sort of type A approach to. I'm going to go into nature. Now you're talking to someone and listening to someone who also doesn't go into nature. So I don't know what I'm talking about. I am not. I should not be your spirit animal on this one.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Do you think. What. What is it? You don't have time maybe to go into nature or.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think I too. I think we have a lot in common. I think we have a lot in common. And I. I know from your story and from listening to your comedy, we have a lot in common. One thing we don't have in common is you walked into our place on Larchmont here just minutes ago, and I'm stunned. You look perfect. Doesn't she look perfect? No, you really do. You're very beautiful. But you're also. What you're wearing. I mean, you. It's all perfect.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Me.

[Conan O'Brien]

You. Yes.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Mid bite.

[Conan O'Brien]

Mid bite.

[Sona Movsesian]

Mid bite.

[Conan O'Brien]

Mid bite. I love that.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

This is just.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're being naturally. Oh, that's how you rolled out of bed.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Oh, you. Oh, I'm just celebrating. I'm just here celebrating.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God. I'm just having cake and. What? Oh, I don't even know what I'm wearing.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Sweetie, I was just here celebrating your birthday.

[Conan O'Brien]

You want to back me up here? You.

[Sona Movsesian]

But you always. You. You have such a colorful aesthetic. You are really. You have cheez it earrings.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I'm just.

[Sona Movsesian]

I. I'm a. I'm obsessed of everything about your appearance.

[Conan O'Brien]

The.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

The.

[Conan O'Brien]

The outfit is just kind of perfection. It's cool. And the lines are. I mean, you clearly. This is. How you present yourself is important to you. I'm look like I'm in treatment for alcoholism. I'm just wearing a.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

And, sweetie, that's a brand, too. Yeah, that's Also a brand.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I don't wanna. I like to dress well. But then you do this podcast, and we end up talking about diarrhea half the time. So I'm not gonna put on a nice tie. Yes, you should meet. What do you say? Usually take us down that road? I do. It's your favorite topic.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Y' all are so silly because you all have very specific brands that are so iconic.

[Conan O'Brien]

What are we talking about here?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Aesthetically? Yes. I think aesthetically something that makes a person iconic is. Can someone draw you very well. And yes, literally, you know, we're good caricatures already. That's right. Yeah, that's true. Iconic in, like, a silhouette, like the Simpsons, you know, in the dark, we see Sona's hair. Your hairstyle, you know, your glasses would probably be prominent. You know what I mean? Like, I've thought about this.

[Conan O'Brien]

David has his own brand of glasses. Yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Y' all are very aesthetically icons, too.

[Conan O'Brien]

The one thing that you and I have in common is we both have very distinctive hairstyles or haircuts.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

That's right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I. Not today. Today, I didn't think about it much, but usually I'm sporting this kooky wave thing in my hair. I don't know.

[Sona Movsesian]

It looks like Defying gravity.

[Conan O'Brien]

Defying gravity. It's a swoop.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

There you go.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I tried.

[Conan O'Brien]

Thank you. Is everyone okay?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Who had to hear that?

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I'm sterile now. But you have this very cool bowl haircut, as worn originally by Mo and the Three Stooges. And it's fantastic. It's perfect. And it's very intentional on your part. Is that true?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

It is. Yeah, it is.

[Conan O'Brien]

This is how your hair was when you were very young.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

This was, you know, me when I was very young. A lot of kids were cursed with this haircut. They would say, as a kid, Right. My parents made me do the bowl cut. They put a bowl on me, and then.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is this part of the. Is it culture specific? Is that what you're saying?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I guess a lot of Asian kids had it, but also, I've met a lot of people across cultures who come, you know, with stories about how they had it, too.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I think this is also very, like, before Mo from the Three Stooges.

[Conan O'Brien]

Friars, yes. Also really, Fryer Tuck and, you know. And, yeah, monks would have the bull haircut. And you know what? I associate it with ease. It's easy to give a bull haircut. My mom had the Sears and Roebuck haircutting kit. There's six kids she'd Line us up outside the kitchen, and one at a time would jump up into, like, a high chair and right across. So all the photos of me that you've seen when I'm a kid.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

That's right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Bangs just bang straight across.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Icon and style icon. Style icon.

[Conan O'Brien]

But I do think if any culture's doing it, it's because, especially with kids, it's easy.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

That's right.

[Conan O'Brien]

So they probably just like, snip, snip, snip, snip. You're done.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Sure. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And that's why they do it with kids. But most kids, at certain point, when they can take control of their own look, reject the bull haircut. It's true. You decided not to go that way.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah, because I said, if I'm gonna be the weirdo self that I am on the inside, maybe, you know, I'll just show it on the outside so that people will know immediately. Right. Okay, you're safe. Maybe you're a weirdo. You're a fellow weirdo like me, you know, and you didn't have to conform to. You know, I still get a lot of messages once in a while from, you know, from guys who are like, you would be more attractive if you would just do the long hair thing, you know, and it's like. Well, there were a lot of times in my life where I felt like a bit of an outsider or freak, you know, and it's like embracing that. All the things that, you know, I didn't. I was like, oh, no, this makes me look like such a. I can't make friends with this haircut, you know? And now I just want to embrace it and let people know, like, yeah, let your freak. Is it freak flag fly.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

What a tongue twister. Freak fly. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

It can go dirty so quickly if you say it quickly. You know what I mean?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Freak, fly, fly. Like that.

[Conan O'Brien]

There's other f words. Get.

[Matt Gourley]

Get.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, I'm just saying it can easily if you say it really quickly. It's one of those things that if I was on the air live and I had to say freak flag, fly really quickly, I'd be nervous.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what I meant.

[Sona Movsesian]

Sexually. A freak flag, like your kink.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, that's my.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I mean, is that the saying? Is the saying more about sexual stuff than, like, a weirdo?

[Sona Movsesian]

I think it could go either way.

[Conan O'Brien]

It could be any. You know, any way.

[Sona Movsesian]

Any freak. Any flag of any freak can fly. Yeah. In any way.

[Conan O'Brien]

In any. This is really helpful, Sona. Thank you so much.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Thank you.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's Freaky.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. And no one knows more about a freak flag flying than Sona. And that's a compliment. You are very comfortable in your own skin. And you're happy just saying whatever stuff you've been up to. Be it legal, illegal, cool, dangerously wrong.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Wait, she's like, how did this turn

[Conan O'Brien]

into help from anybody?

[Sona Movsesian]

It's a diarrhea thing.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

And now it's, I'm a freak.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's my flag fly.

[Conan O'Brien]

Let's get the focus back on Asuka, if you don't mind, Sana.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, I'm happy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Happy to freak flag fly, diarrhea lady over here. But that's not important. The important.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

That's very sweet. I think what you do is, you know, because you've. Sometimes I'm like, oh, Conan, like, feel this is a similarity. I think maybe we have. I'm not sure. I might be putting it on you, but, like, you don't want anyone to feel like an outsider too, right? Know, I feel like you just sensed me being like, oh, I don't know how the saying goes. English isn't my first language. And you're like, you, Sona, you're a freak.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

You're crazy. You do that.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

To make you also a very good, you know. Yes. And improv. She is, you know, teammate. So she's like, yes. What are you doing? And then suddenly no one remembers. Otsuko doesn't know English. Suddenly Otsuko's, you know, oh, freak flag flies. No one remembers it anymore. This is the genius of Conan. Thank you so much.

[Conan O'Brien]

Until you commercial. Until you just brought it up. Osco. I did a very good job of, you know, distracting from your pain by brutally making fun of Sona.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

That's right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, Father's Day is coming up. Hint, hint. June 21st. Wow.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

We're not your children.

[Conan O'Brien]

What? My children are not getting me anything. So it's up to you guys to get. Get me Father's Day. They have never bought into Father's Day, but you guys are going to. You're my employees, and you have to. Well, guess what? Luckily, Macy's has a wide range of options. The expertise to help you find the perfect gift. Macy's is the answer for Father's Day, David. Yes. As my sort of surrogate son.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, that's nice. The son that I hired to buy me things. Exactly. I hope that you're prepared for this Father's Day. And I hope you've consulted Macy's. Oh, I sure. I have done both of those first.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, there you Go. You love a pun.

[Conan O'Brien]

We got you a shirt that says the grill Father. I love that shirt because you know what? I love the Godfather movies and I love grilling. And they've combined them with the grill father. And are you ready to combine it even more? Let's see. Gift.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

You bet.

[Conan O'Brien]

Ooh, a ninja indoor grill. Can I see something? That looks really good. It does. So happy Father's Day from us And Macy's. You know what I wanna say thank you. Those are cool gifts. I love it. Thank you. Macy's. Macy's makes it easy to take something your dad already loves. Make it feel new again. Same vibe. Better version. The kind of gift he'll actually use and appreciate no matter what kind of dad he is. Check out Macy's online gift guide for more ideas@macy's.com giftguide Big news. Sona.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Did you know T Mobile recently partnered with the National Park Foundation? No way. Yep. They're making it easier to stay connected, so you're free to wander.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, that's really cool.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I love a national park. I really do.

[Sona Movsesian]

I do too.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now, there's one thing you have to have if you're doing that good signal. It's a priority. You know what I mean? You got your maps, your music, this podcast.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

So take America's best network plus their off grid satellite coverage with you. Look, we're all a little spoiled, but we like to have access to all our stuff. And suddenly you don't have it because of a bad signal. That's when I throw my phone into the Grand Canyon.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Literally filled half the Grand Canyon with phones. Then I got T mobile. Never had to chuck them again, you know.

[Sona Movsesian]

Good.

[Conan O'Brien]

So wander over to T mobile.com and switch. Best based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data for 2H 2025. Wow, that's some sentence. T satellite with cable device. In most outdoor areas in US where you see the sky, that's important. You gotta see the sky.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yep.

[Conan O'Brien]

Service may be limited or unavailable. Included with experience beyond or $10per month auto renews cancel anytime. That was probably meant to be said by a robot really quickly. But I just did it slowly so you could really understand. Disclaimer. Please do not throw your phone into the Grand Canyon. FX is the Bear. The Emmy award winning series returns for its final season. With no money, the threat of a sale and a torrential storm in their way, the team bands together to achieve one last service. Can they finally earn that coveted Michelin star? FX is the bear. The final season premieres June 25 on FX. All episodes streaming on Hulu. We have a lot of commonalities. It's not just the hair. I watch your comedy, and I see how all of your instincts are to put people at ease. That seems to be very important to you. And I love. You were so. I love the way you talk to an audience and get involved with an audience. You're so good at it and kind of shining a light on what's the funny thing that's happening here without hurting someone's feelings, which I think is kind of a superpower.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah. It's all about, like, you know, wanting to be seen and wanting others to feel seen, too. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, you've done this. I want to make sure I mention it now, and we'll talk about it later, too. But you have this special on Hulu called Father, which is delightful and amazing, and it is, you know, up for Emmy consideration, which it should be. You talk a lot about your childhood, and there are people that say. Comedians that say, well, I had a really strange childhood. And then you hear about it and you go, yeah, kind of. Your story is crazily unique and sounds perilous, but you. You. You talk so well about it, and you're so funny about it that sometimes the. The reality of it can get a little obscured. And so if you don't mind just talking about that a little bit, because you're bor. Is it Taiwan? You're born in Taiwan, but you end up kind of growing up in Japan in your early years. Right. And there's a lot of stuff going on in your family, right?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah, yeah. So I'm half Taiwanese. I was born in Taiwan. Day one already. So my dad is Japanese. He stayed in Japan for my birthday 1. The first face I see coming out of my mom. And I don't remember this, obviously, people were like, oh, I know. I have. My memory starts from day zero.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Yeah. I feel like, well, they're just lying.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's true.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Or maybe they, you know, they're like, I did ayahuasca. You know, they're like. And my past self was two cats. You know, like, I haven't had the. What is it? The pleasure of having that kind of.

[Conan O'Brien]

I put some in your cake image.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

You will have that image very soon.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I'm feeling dizzy. Why am I. Oh, day one. Oh, we're still on day one. Sorry. So my uncle is. Actually. My uncle's face is the first thing I see because he's help my mom, get me out of her. Because he's not a doctor, but he was studying to be an obgyn, and my family loves a discount. And so I think, because I was like, what? He's. Why didn't we have, like, a real doctor? You know? And so I think that's why they flew to Taiwan. They loved that there was going to be a deal and that it was.

[Conan O'Brien]

You were at a mall relative. It's not like getting your ears pierced. Let's go to the, let's go to the Burger Earth kiosk, and then we'll grab an Orange Julius afterwards.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I'm just outside of Eclairs. It was a hospital, but yeah, so, so, so day one, that's already happening. And I find out later my dad wasn't there because I guess the relationship was already rocky. That's, you know, pretty, pretty, pretty early on. Me as a. Me as a baby. And so three months after that, I, I, we all moved to Japan to reunite with my dad. Yeah. And so my mom, you know, so my mom suffers from schizophrenia, and my grandma was heavily involved in orchestrating, you know, my mom and dad meeting. Because she was like, it's gonna be hard to marry this daughter off. You know, in Taiwan, maybe we go somewhere kind of far. Maybe we go to Japan where, you know, my daughter doesn't really speak the language.

[Conan O'Brien]

And so wait, your grandmother's trying to hide your mom's schizophrenia or mental issues.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

There's mental issues. I think they didn't really know what was wrong with her, you know?

[Conan O'Brien]

Right. But she's thinking, I, she'll have a better chance of marrying if we go to a country where people don't understand her.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Is kind of like my inkling, because I've said to grandma, you know, like, there's, Taiwan's a small country, but, you know, there's still, like. I think here's the thing at the time, right? A woman in her 30s, single, never had a boyfriend. They're like, what's wrong with her already, too? And so, you know, I think there were multiple things going on. Let's just, let's just try a different place. Let's just try a different country. And, you know, she has a hard time making friends. Something is off about her, you know, So I think it was a lot of that. And then, so my grandma took the reins and saw in the newspaper they were doing a speed dating event in Tokyo, so signed my mom up and went there, you know, and there was a language barrier. But I think I like to think that you know, when there is though, all your secrets can't be revealed.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. You know, so I mean, your grandmother just sounds like a mastermind.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

She's a criminal.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, she's a criminal.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

My grandma, don't get me wrong, she is. She's a criminal. She also then took me to a America.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's right. You live in Japan for how many years?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I lived there for eight years.

[Conan O'Brien]

For eight years. And then your grandmother said, and I'm going to tell your story for you.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yes, please.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think, I think more men have to do this for women.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

No, I want to.

[Conan O'Brien]

You should do a one man, your one, your next one woman show. I should come out at the top and just start telling your whole story.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I think people would love that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, no, and then you come out and have me beaten.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

You're helping me out.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm here to mansplain what Oscar went through. But you might. Your grandmother says to you, we're gonna take a trip. And she takes you here to Los Angeles, right? Yeah. And then you realize over time, she kidnapped me, more or less. Is that true?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yes. Yeah. She said it was a two month vacation to Los Angeles. Again, she's a liar. And Right. So we're in Japan and then suddenly, and before, you know, I'm living with my mom and grandma in Japan too. I was living with my dad. He. He full on had full custody of me. And then slowly, you know, was like, hey, what if we spend more time with her? You know, oh, we got an apartment down the street from your place, you know, and so my dad was like, sure, you know, he was already raising two other kids of his own from the previous marriage, so. And then my mom's mental health declined pretty bad. She was very suicidal in Japan. And so I think, you know, my grandma was like, okay, we changed locations again, which, you know, at this point I'm like, sweetie, it's not the location, you know. Right. But I get it. Like as a single mom for so long, my grandma was. And then she was also now helping to raise me. I think she was just trying to get ahead before the next disaster. So she contacted my uncle, her son, her other son, who lived in Los Angeles already. Hey, do you have any space for us? I think we're gonna try living there. He's like, we have a garage. She said, that'll do. And so yeah, we came here, but she only told me it was gonna be a two month vacation.

[Conan O'Brien]

But you end up living for a while in a really small space.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Right, right.

[Conan O'Brien]

With Your grandmother and your mother and your mother, who has this very serious mental illness. And that is such an intense experience, but probably contributed to your abilities in comedy in some way, don't you think?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I think so, for sure. Yeah. And a lot of it comes from. It's not, like, the sadness of it. It's really, for me, you know, like, our need to make other people laugh. I'm also a people pleaser, you know, being quick enough to be, like, without anyone noticing that, like, what I just did. Ha ha ha ha, ta da. Is like, mask the fact that maybe this person was feeling insecure over here, you know, My mom, all my life I've seen her suffer right now, you know, even as we speak, I know where she is, you know, in her bed, you know, like, unable to move that much. She has seizures too, now, and so she doesn't have any friends, you know, And I get to, like, tour and see the world. I get to hang out with icons, legends, heroes of mine. Right.

[Conan O'Brien]

You just said that because you don't know our names.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I'm going, I'm here with icon.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, that's what I say to the Uber driver when I forget his name. You're an icon.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Icon. Matthew, was it?

[Conan O'Brien]

People call me Matthew. Sure.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

No, and so, you know, and so it's this. That's. That's, like, my want to make her feel not so bummed out. And so, like, could you reach her

[Conan O'Brien]

by being funny or outrageous? Is that the way you could connect with your mom if she was even in a debilitated state growing up?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah. Yeah. I was honestly afraid of her most of my life, so I didn't know how to make her laugh, but I knew how to make my uncle and aunt laugh because the family is so intense. You know, we grew up, so they lived in the front house, but there was, like, at least in the garage. There was no music in our house. There was no. My mom and grandma didn't watch anything. You know, my uncle finally installed a TV for us back there, and so I would watch, like, Chelsea lately. And then that's when I started, like, even learning what standup was. But when we would have dinners together as a whole family, we would just eat in silence. Like, you know, we just witnessed a funeral. Like, nobody would talk, just silent. Eventually, I think out of survival, out of, like, making it easier for me, I started trying to make little. Little jokes, you know, I remember one time we had another one of these silent dinners. Literally, just all you can hear is just, like, things being cut on the Plate. One time my aunt asked for salt. We all jumped because someone talked.

[Conan O'Brien]

We were like, don't ever do that again.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

You know how it was jumpy when Maddie came in with a tea that was. It's. I think it's because of that it was always silent. It's like, oh, my God, you know what happened? And it was just. She's like, salt. I just said salt.

[Conan O'Brien]

You all had to retreat to different corners of the garage.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah, totally.

[Conan O'Brien]

To think about what just happened.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

We're being attacked, you know, and she's. She just wanted a little more seasoning. But so then, you know, we would sit in silence. And one time, I remember we finished eating, and I just said, well, that was really fun. We should do it again. And then my uncle cracked the spine.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, that's.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I couldn't get it out of my mom.

[Conan O'Brien]

The long stories.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah. Sorry.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, but. No, but I mean, that's. I think we're not gonna have any of that. Well, no, there'll be no apologizing here for telling a really great story, I think.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Cause I'm like, oh, you know, maybe. I don't know how much you already know or.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, but I'm. I'm just fascinated by your story. And I. I love talking to really funny people and hearing how they made their way. That's. That's one of my favorite things. Or, not just funny people, but a bunch of the people we've had on the show, whether they're in music or acting or whatever. Writers. I just love figuring out how people sort of like salmon swimming upstream. They have, like, a little idea that they're supposed to do something, and they develop it, and then you can put any obstacles in front of them. They usually figure out a way to get there. And I don't know if you had a lot of role models growing up where you could see someone and say, if they can do it, I can do it. Were there standups that really you gravitated towards?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

For sure, yeah. I mean, it was hard, though, because I never saw. So I was starting to see standups on the Chelsea Lately show, for example, and. And one of the first standup specials I saw was Margaret Cho's through someone at church. I used to go to church. That's how they get immigrants. They go, do you want friends? Hey, welcome to the country. You want friends, right? We're like, yes, we speak your language. Oh, that's cool. We have free food. I like that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

And then, boom. Suddenly, you know, I'm at Jesus camp. So there I Am go, Jesus, go alone.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's how they get you.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Go, God. You know?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I'm gonna cheerlead.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Beautiful.

[Conan O'Brien]

God. I'm in the choir.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I'm an alto. I'm an alto. My uncle is a choir director. Anyway, sing a cantata. Do you know what?

[Conan O'Brien]

That clearly this was a huge inspiration to you. This, this religious conversion. The way you talk about it.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I mean, it really came in my life so quick. I mean, I'm from Taiwan and Japan. Like Jesus left countries.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

You know, and then suddenly I'm getting baptized willingly. I mean, and, and, and in a choir, singing alto cuz I could never hit the high notes. Alto is very hard. You know, We. We all know. No.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, we do.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

You have to harmonize. Oh boy.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, no, no, I don't.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Josh Groban the other day, he gets to sing the melody singing Happy birthday dear Conan. I'm going, Happy birthday. Nobody cares. They go, oh, that sounded beautiful. Yeah, because someone was harmonizing, creating an illusion that there's a whole group.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. You're very bitter about this. You've had so much success and you've achieved so much and you can't get past this.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Well, Conan, when you get kicked out of the choir by your uncle who is the choir director. No.

[Conan O'Brien]

Were you kicked out for because of your musical abilities or because you were causing trouble?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I don't know. You just heard me sing. But we did a cantata. Okay. I only got to perform once with the choir. We did a. Do you know what a cantata is?

[Conan O'Brien]

I was gonna be quiet because I thought everyone else would know.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, I have no idea.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Timothy Chalamet would know. Yeah, but it's. It's like a short opera. Short, but it's like 45 minutes long. We did a couple.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's a short opera. Opera. Because I keep all I could handle. I'm sorry.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Oh, you and Timothy both got me out again. Oh. Turns out.

[Conan O'Brien]

Kidding. I love opera. I was there last night at the opera.

[Sona Movsesian]

Which opera?

[Conan O'Brien]

La Boheme.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

He only lasted. He only lasted. Oh, wow.

[Sona Movsesian]

Nice. You had that in your pocket?

[Conan O'Brien]

Pocket? La Boem.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah. He left 40 minutes in.

[Conan O'Brien]

I had to. It's a urinary issue. I love opera, but I can't go more than 40 minutes without relieving my bladder. It's a terrible disease and I'm waiting for a big commercial that I get to do about a medication.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

You're right.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's ages if I put it out there.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

It's ages to even ask you ask.

[Conan O'Brien]

Thank you.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

We must respect our Elders.

[Conan O'Brien]

We can't respect them. Wait, how did I get here? I've had this condition since I was 15. I urinate every 11 minutes. Sorry.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

You've been doing really good. Are you doing the.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I have a. I don't want to tell you I'm wearing a device right now.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

It's okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

I've urinated nine times since you've been here.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Let me guess.

[Conan O'Brien]

This got dark. And thanks a lot, Sona.

[Sona Movsesian]

I did this because

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

the device you're wearing. Sponsored.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm glad you asked. Osco.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I'm glad you asked. Depends. I'm glad you asked.

[Conan O'Brien]

With Pee on the Go.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Pee on the Go.

[Conan O'Brien]

Developed by NASA Listen, we're going to try and make sense out of this. And I know I can do this.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Right?

[Conan O'Brien]

Right. But we left you at Jesus camp. You're getting kicked out of the choir because no one appreciates the incredible.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

It was an Easter performance. It was the first one in the church. I love to sing loud because he has risen and I don't know. Wouldn't you do that too? I guess so. I'm not a trained singer. Choir is a voluntary. Basically. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. They can't be picky.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

There's no audition. It all is welcome. Well, guess what that means I'm on there too, with my skills. My uncle call it nepotism. I got to join, you know, pretty easily. And then after the cantata, I was never asked back.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wow.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

He said you love to sing aloud, Atsuko. And we could hear you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wait. He wanted you to sing but not be heard?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Because I was off a lot. And he said sometimes you would also sing in English. It was a Taiwanese church. We sang in Chinese and we could hear. Because I don't speak Chinese at this point. A bitch is confused. I was in Japan. I'm in Japan. Now I'm in Los Angeles in a garage. I left Tokyo for this to be undocumented. We were undocumented.

[Conan O'Brien]

You were undocumented.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

We had no papers. My grandma did. Because we were supposed to be here on vacation. So we just applied for a two month play visa or whatever that's called.

[Conan O'Brien]

Tourist visa visa.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

And then we overstayed it. Boom. What happens? Suddenly we're here illegally. And in Japan I only spoke Japanese. Suddenly I'm learning Chinese because I'm half Taiwanese too. And now I'm living with my Taiwanese side of the family. I'm confused. I'm Christian now. And now I'm singing alto. Of course I'm off key. Of course I'm gonna go into English.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sometimes I think you put it best when you said, a bitch is confused.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, that was gonna be the title of my autobiography. Now you've got it out here for

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

pimp when you're trying to make money for the rent. So when I first saw Margaret, it was just me, like, oh, this is so awesome. Okay, Now I know this exists, and she exists. And, you know. Well, also, at the time, I didn't even know. I didn't know until I was, like, 16 that I was undocumented and what that even meant. Right? Because I wanted to suddenly drive like all my friends at school. Like, everyone was getting their permits. And I said, grandma, I want to drive to. You know, none of us drive. I think it'd be cool. And then I can drive us around. We don't. The bus. I don't. We don't have to take the bus anymore, you know, you're old, you know, and it'll be easy on us. And she goes, well, you can't drive. You can't do that because we don't have Social Security numbers. And I was like, oh. Like, that was the first time I had realized, you know, what a way to find out. I know. I was. Yeah. Because I wanted to do.

[Conan O'Brien]

By the way, you're here illegally. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Right, right. So it's like, it comes to bureaucracy, paperwork stuff, right? How would I know? I'm just, you know, a high school kid trying to kiss boys. And I did. Yeah. That was that. You don't have to be an American to do that was cool. And go to school.

[Conan O'Brien]

Most boys don't. Ask for your Social Security number.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Oh, thank God.

[Conan O'Brien]

Before. Well, I was always a stickler. Sometimes a girl would be like, what's smooch? And I'd say, well, hold on a second. I'd like to see various documents.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah, we call.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's. Yeah. That's why I was a virgin until, well, Obama's first term.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

We call that a narc. Like the school snitch over here trying to get kisses still. Or, like, do not trust me.

[Conan O'Brien]

I sure like to kiss you, but I'd like to see your papers.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah. Like this narc over here. And. No. And so. Yeah. Because I was surprised because there's so much you could do. I was going. Going to school. I was in the cheerleading squad.

[Conan O'Brien]

Were you a good cheerleader?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I was. You know, as a squad. We were okay as a squad. We were so together.

[Conan O'Brien]

We were okay together.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

We were okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Separately, we were awful. What a great recommendation. We're not Very good. We're terrible when we're apart, but when we get together, we're okay. Just tune in.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

We really kept. We really kept people's attention with our spirits, you know, we really kept it. We were very self taught. We didn't have a coach. Our cheer squad. When people hear that I was a cheerleader, they're like, oh, you were a jock? I'm like, no, no, you don't understand. My squad, it was like, full of girls who were like, if it went for cheer, I would have joined a gang, you know? These girls were scary, these girls.

[Conan O'Brien]

I didn't know that. I didn't know that being a cheerleader was the last exit before gang. Well, that's hilarious.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Welcome to Venice High school.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Early 2000s.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sure.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Okay. Venice.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, me too.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I. I was like, you know, I. I thought cheerleaders were like the Bring it on girls.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

You know what I mean?

[Conan O'Brien]

Sure.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

And then here I am. I'm, you know, I join and it's. Yeah, it's my first. They were like the first girls to accept me. Right. So my first friends were Latinas and black girls who. Who called me Coco. They gave me a nickname. And some of the girls, I mean, they were like. Some of the girls were. Their boyfriends were part of the Crips.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, wow.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

One of them, Juanita, I remember one time her boyfriend called her a bitch, to which she pulled out a switchblade, put it up against his neck and said, if you call me that again, again, I'll cut you. And then I'll cut myself. I was there. I said, I know. I said, damn, you are crazy. You are crazy.

[Conan O'Brien]

I mean, I get the first part, but the second part seems extraneous. I'm going to say extraneous. We're like, I'll cut you, and then later I'll cut myself. Wait, Juanito, I'm very afraid of you cutting my throat. But you do on your own time later.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

The drama. Yeah, the drama. Right. She was a poet, too. On top of it. I was like, wow. So these were the kinds of girls. Once I got my driver's license senior year, the captain of the squad, she borrowed my car during lunch, went, got an abortion, came back for six, period. What were your friends like?

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

So this is the cheerleaders. When I say, yes, when I say, if it weren't for a cheer, we would have joined a gang. These are suddenly my friends in America, you know? And I was like, wow. Like I have been snoozing. What is this exciting Life there was. We would go to. One time we went to Denny's parking lot, where a fight broke out between the cheer squad and the flag team. I had never seen such a thing. We were all in uniform. It was after.

[Conan O'Brien]

After the cheer team fought the flag team? Yes.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Because one of the flag team girls started dating. Oh. Oh, no, no, no. One of the cheer squad's ex boyfriends. And I said, oh, what? What is this? Yeah. I was trying to get on board. Cause I'm such a scaredy cat. I don't fight literally. Like, the only things I fought are, like, helped fight are the voices in my mom's head in that garage. And, you know, fighting for my life to stay on the choir. That's the only things I fought for is this.

[Conan O'Brien]

So the fight starts to go down. Did you. What did you do?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

So I was scared. I show up with Juanita. They're already. Everyone's in uniform.

[Conan O'Brien]

So Juanita's just hitting herself in the corner. I'll get you. And then I'll get them.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

She should have done that. She should. Can you imagine? The flag team would have retreated.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

This crazy bitch.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm gonna first punch myself, then I'll get you if you're not careful.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Incredible.

[Conan O'Brien]

Juanita's just backwards with everything.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I love this. Incredible. She's all cartoon like. I would love that. Oh, man. I'm cheering her on. Because we're cheerleaders.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sure.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

No. So I'm on the sidelines. I don't know what to do. And Juanita's like, I'm going to get in there. I'm going to get in there. The fight started. People are dragging each other on the ground. But first off, they march in. Okay. The flag team comes in with their flags. I was like, is this west side Story?

[Conan O'Brien]

It's west side Story with flags.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

And it's confusing because. Because it's like the flag team was also like, Latin and black girls, too. So we look like we're on this. We don't know who's fighting who. Thank God for the uniforms. Cause you'll get confused.

[Conan O'Brien]

The uniforms help a lot.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

At least with west side Story, it's like, okay, Puerto Ricans versus the white people.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Similar dance moves. It's confusing. You know what I mean?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

These girls. Yeah. So thank goodness for the flags. Cause then I go, okay, that's not my squad mate. You know? And the pom poms. We have the pom poms. Palms.

[Conan O'Brien]

Dumbest fight I've ever heard of. Easily the dumbest fight I'VE ever heard of, but I'm dying to know who won.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

People are getting tracked. There's no winning, sweetie. There's no winning in violence.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, that's beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. No wins. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

No one wins. Except for maybe Juanita's boyfriend, who is at home going, oh, thank God. I have a break tonight.

[Conan O'Brien]

But have you kept up with Juanita at all or any of these people? People.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yes. We're on. On. On Facebook.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, that's nice.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

On Facebook, they still call me Coco. A few of them have come out to see my shows.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. That makes me really happy.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

And so. Oh, I was the. You asked me for my role. I held everyone's jewelry because they were like, coco can't fight. And I was like, oh, yeah. I was just told. Yes. And so, you know the seat in Cinderella, right?

[Conan O'Brien]

You had one of those TSA bins.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah, that's right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Or the clink. Let's have it all clink. Now get to it. YouTube coming up.

[Sona Movsesian]

There you go.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Thank you. A more, you know, modern reference. I'm referencing Cinderella. I'm like, you know the scene in Cinderella, he's like, how about the TSA yesterday where, you know.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. Any way I can help? I like to help.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Thank you so much. Yeah, I'm like, you know, Cinderella, Cinderella, Cinderella. Who's watched Cinderella lately? Anyway, there's a scene where they're throwing things at her, and she's, like, holding the jewelry and the clothes. You'll not go to the ball. That was me with the flower fight. I was holding the jewelry and then just shouting positive affirmations because, again, we were cheerleaders. I could do that. J, U, A, N, I, T A. What's the spell? Juanita. So those were all. Yeah. Why did I. I don't know why I went into the show.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, no, because I was asking you about this fight, and I'm curious, because the. The Hulu special that you did. Father, you're talking about. Cause so much of what we talked about today, your father's introduced at the top of your story, and then I think you. Estranged for a long time.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Right, Right.

[Conan O'Brien]

And this is your reconnecting or reestablishing a tie with your dad, Right?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah, it's true. He didn't. He missed out on my cheerleading days, my choir days, my Jesus camp days.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

In a way. It's cool, though, because when we got to meet up and we really got to reconnect.

[Conan O'Brien]

Has he been living in Japan this whole time?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

So he's been living in Japan, working as an engineer, racing, raising, you know, my half siblings. So once we were undocumented, another rule that I didn't know was you can't leave the US if you want to come back in. Right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Got it.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

So we were stuck here, and I suddenly, you know, I didn't get to say bye to my dad, who's in Japan, super busy, you know, raising kids, single dad. And I didn't get to say bye to my friends there. So I just felt super, like, suddenly. Oh. Like I didn't get closure from my place.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're cut off in an unnatural way.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah. And then I got busy, right, with, like, cheerleading or trying to get a driver's license. I finally got my green card when I was 17. We did the visa lottery program where, you know, you. I guess my grandma, the hustler finagler, pretended we were in Japan still the whole time. And you. She put our names into the lottery.

[Conan O'Brien]

I mean, she. I mean, first of all, I want. I want this woman running my life. Yeah, I'll say. Actually, I want her running our foreign policy.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

David's job away. He's right here.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think your grandmother just would beat out David so quickly. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, he can't do these things. You can't get me into a Japanese lottery system to become a full citizen of the United States. You've never achieved that all the time. You went to Lululemon today and bought me some underwear.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I did do that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yay. Yeah.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

And she.

[Conan O'Brien]

Would she do that?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

She could do that, too. She. She could do that, too, but she's doing, like, international committing. International. I don't know. I. I say crimes, but she really was able to with a network of other grandmas from the church, and we know grandmas like the network of grandmas. They're true.

[Conan O'Brien]

They're making it happen.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah, they're true. Like gangs, you know what I mean? They're telling each other, you know, the. The best deals at the supermarket or, you know, they're telling each other, like, what loopholes, you know, to what bank to go with if you want the higher interest rate or whatever. And so through that, she figured that out. And then every year, she would apply for the lottery, and every year, you know, our names wouldn't get pulled. And then on the seventh year, all three of our names got pulled. And so.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's great.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah. And that's how we got to get a green card.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, let me be the first to welcome you to America.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Oh. Oh, what a place.

[Conan O'Brien]

Thank you.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

So much.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm assuming I'm the first. It's been a while.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

But probably no one else had the courtesy to say that.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

So welcome.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Thank you. I mean, you're kind of like a diplomat, right? To so many countries. To many countries. You're the orange haired American man that they'd rather see when you go abroad. Right? And you've done that for us.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's true. That is true. That is true. I'm trending ahead of other orange haired people who tend to show up in countries sometimes.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

You've done that for us. I mean, you closed the gap for us on like, or you tried to get ahead of it with Greenland. You know what I mean?

[Conan O'Brien]

I've.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

You've really done a lot of.

[Conan O'Brien]

In a lot. I think I've done so much for the world. You have. But I think like the alto and a choir, I'm also overlooked. And I think that's another way that we're.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Thank you to the nod at altos.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, that's what I do. I have to ask you this before we wrap. Your father, how does he feel about this crazy success you've had?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Oh my gosh.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is he. I'm guessing he's really proud.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yes. He got to see me perform a couple of times on my international tour now. And so it's cool, you know, I was saying, like he missed out on, you know, my choir days or cheerleading days and stuff like that, but also he kind of missed out on, you know, me struggling to in my comedy career. Right. Like trying to figure it out. I said, okay, finally, let's try this stand up thing. And you know, it's wild that after years of trying it, years of doubting myself, maybe I'll go to like art school instead as a backup plan. Which is a terrible backup plan. Right. Why go linear with also an unemployment? I got a degree in creative writing and boo art.

[Conan O'Brien]

Boo. Creative writing.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

No, this is art school. So creative writing is literally like, if you want to turn in two words, that's your thesis. You know, it's like that. So, you know, he missed out on those years. But then I was developing my voice and then when we met again, right, it was me doing an international tour back in Japan to thousands of strangers who know who I am. In Japan, when you come back from like work or school, you say, tadaima, I'm home. And your family members go, okay, welcome home. And so on that show where my dad was there, I tried saying it. I said, tadaima, I'm home to These Japanese audiences and all, thousands of them together, said, welcome home. And I was like, okay. I almost broke down and cried. And, you know, my dad could understand those parts. And it was really cool because it was like, you know, I hadn't been home like that in 22 years. You know, it's. Yeah. So it was really cool that that was how we got to reconnect.

[Conan O'Brien]

It is like you're. You know, it's like the Superman myth. He's put into a space capsule and, you know, when he's a baby and shot of. And then if you catch up with him 25 years later, whatever, 10, 15 years later, he's Superman. And it's just this thing that happened that you couldn't foresee, but it's magical and I think an amazing gift. Gift that your dad gets to see

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

that sometimes you gotta make people miss you and come back, you know, hotter. Right? Isn't that the whole thing?

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, listen, Osco, the special is beautiful. It's on Hulu, father. And I wish you all the best in Emmy season because you deserve it. You are so funny, and you've got a great spirit, and it was just. It's nice to get to know you because I admire you and then to have you here and talk and we got to chat a little bit and bond out on the sidewalk outside of that comedy club.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

That's right.

[Conan O'Brien]

But I remembered leaving that night and was like, oh, this is unfinished business. We have more to talk about. So I was so glad you could come in, and I hope you come back.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Oh, thank you for having me. You guys are true kindred spirits. And if I may, now I cheer.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

I really, really set it up.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Go.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Give me a c. C. You got your c. You got your c. Give

[Conan O'Brien]

me an o. O.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

You got your o. You got your o. Give me an n. N. You got your n. You got your n. Give me an a. N. N. N. And we got conan.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yay. I like when you ended. There was a little bit of.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Because I.

[Conan O'Brien]

We got. Well, conan osco, thank you so much.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Thank you so much for having me.

[Conan O'Brien]

So much. I'm looking forward to this summer.

[Sona Movsesian]

Me, too.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what I'm talking about. First of all, July 4th is going to be the 250th anniversary of the United States of America. That's a big deal. And just as important, some pretty big soccer games headed our way. Sports, I don't want to get too specific, but let's say some. Some pretty big soccer games are coming

[Sona Movsesian]

our way on A global scale.

[Conan O'Brien]

On a global scale. That's all we'll say. So much to celebrate this summer, so you gotta keep it classic with Miller Lite. Miller Lite has been a true American pilsner and the original light beer since 1975. Were you even alive then, Sona?

[Sona Movsesian]

No, I was not.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I don't think you. I think that's good. Cause you couldn't handle the beginning of the Miller Lite era. No, it's too iconic. Here's my summer. Okay. Hang with my buddies. Hey, this is a really good iconic soccer game that's happening that unifies all the different nations of the world. What is it? I don't have time to tell you, but let's have some Miller Lite. Clean finish, refreshing, easy to drink. And when it's hot outside, nothing feels better going down than an icy cool Miller Lite. It's an all American summer and it starts with all American beer. Miller lite. Go to millerlight.comconan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. Miller Time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Willwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Have you got an ass? Then Duluth Trading Company is for you. I'm just reading what they wrote, folks. For decades, Duluth has been making workwear for harder workers. You got an ass, Sona?

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah, I do.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, Duluth Companies for you, from highly abrasion resistant pants to heat beating work shirts. Duth. Empowers you to take on life with your own two hands. Ready to bolster your nether regions. What the hell? Deleted Duluth. Buck naked unders are the no pinch, no stink, no sweat solution when your junk drawer is on life support. Oh God. They went too far. They went too far.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah. And you read it. You read it all. Didn't even ask any questions.

[Conan O'Brien]

I just blacked out and just came out of my mouth. So you do your glutes a favor. Shop at a Duluth trading store near you or@duluth trading.com Duluth Trading for Folks who work their butts off. All right, we're gonna do a little segment. Normally we do this with Matt Gorley and we do something called review the reviewers, where people call in with reviews and we listen to them and then I respond to their reviews. But Gorly's not here. He's on paternity leave. And because he's out and we don't have review the reviewers, I thought I'd just supply the call in Reviews myself.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Oh, boy.

[Sona Movsesian]

This is so.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, so let's listen. This is. Oh, no. This is Jack Muncie, and he's coming to us from Cleveland, Ohio, and he says, let's play it right now.

[Sona Movsesian]

You're pressing a button. Why are you doing.

[Conan O'Brien]

I listen to Conan o'. Brien Needs a Friend all the Time. It's the best podcast ever. Conan's mind, like, I listen to his mind work, and I'm like, this guy's splitting the atom. I don't even have a question. It's just that funny a show. And it's like, I also think. I don't. Is it me, or is he, like, the coolest guy ever? I don't know. But I don't know, Conan. I don't even have a question here. You're just incredible. Well, wow. That was pretty cool.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Oh, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

That was so nice, Mr. Muncie. Thank you very much. I don't think I'm splitting the atom. I'm just saying things that come to my mind, and it tends to dazzle, I guess. You know what I mean? I mean, I don't know. You know, it's weird if you have these superpowers, you don't walk around going, oh, wow, I have superpowers. You're like, I'm Superman. You know, I can crush this pizza coal, and it becomes a diamond.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Another day, another dollar. You don't get amazed by it because you've lived in this body for a long time. Sure. What do you think about me? Yeah. Good enough.

[Sona Movsesian]

What do you think about me? What are. Who. What.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

What do you. What's happening?

[Conan O'Brien]

Karen Stipson in Anchorage, Alaska, has a call.

[Sona Movsesian]

We don't know he.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Oh, my God. Conan.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Karen here and I listen to Conan o' Brien. Needs a friend. Why would you need a friend? I would think you. You'd have more friends than anyone on Earth. You just are the funniest, most creative, and I just. I don't know. I saw you host the Oscars, and I was like, I'd do that guy. Oh, God, he's all that in a bag of chips.

[Sona Movsesian]

Karen Garrett.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's how people talk. I know I shouldn't be talking this way, but.

[Sona Movsesian]

Karen, are you listening to us right now?

[Conan O'Brien]

Karen, are you on the phone? I'm anticipating what you guys will be saying. I guess I won Anticipator of the Year award last year. I'm a really good anticipator, but I'll just wait for Sona's and David's laughter to calm down. Which I'm assuming is happening. But anyway, I just. I don't know. I just listen to Conan. I'm like, wowzy, wowzy, whoa. He's just the best. So, anyway, Conan, I'm just curious. Do you think that you'll divorce your wife and maybe be back on the market and hang out at Anchorage? I sure hope so. A lot of ladies up here will be pretty happy. Well, gotta go now. Bye. Oh, look, it's cold outside.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

That's Anchorage for you.

[Conan O'Brien]

A little joke. Bye. Well, no, I don't think I'll be divorcing my wife anytime soon. Love my wife. We've been married a long time. She's my soul mate. But, hey, you'll be the first I'll call should the deal go down, because she may want me out.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Yeah, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

She gets pretty exasperated as I do this thing at home where I take pretend calls, and Liza hates it.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, she does?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, but it's so great.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, it's so great. She said, why don't you go do that at work? So I thought I'd do it here at work. But anyway. Yeah, well, no, no, no. I. I didn't do it here yet. I'm thinking I might do it.

[Sona Movsesian]

Karen said you're all that and a bag of chips.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, that's how kids talk now.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's funny, I hear you say that all the time and literally no else.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Yeah. So pretty cool. Victor Hidalgo. Where's Victor calling from? He's coming from Corpus Christi, Texas. Conan, man. He's a man. You're the man, Conan. You're one cool hombre.

[Sona Movsesian]

Is he Mexican?

[Conan O'Brien]

You're a cool guy, Conan. And I'm actually, despite my name, I am. My family is from Sweden, but I. I just use the word hombre every now and then.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay, Just.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, but my father is Lars, and my mother. My mother is Torkia. And, yeah, I just go by Victor Hidalgo, you know. But anyway, I just want to say the show's amazing. And sometimes when I'm sitting in my sauna and. And having a taco, I just think this coding guy is amazing. Again, no question. Just Victor Hidalgo here from Sweden. And I just think you're amazing.

[Sona Movsesian]

Again, no question. Like he's referencing.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm just Jack Muncie. I'm just anticipating. It's weird in my message that everyone else probably didn't have a question either, because what can you ask this man? It's, like, perfect. You know, we have an old Sweden if. If the skates aren't Bent. Skate away. Skate away. And I just want to say you're the best, Conan. You're absolutely amazing. And someday I hope you and I can split date. Jimmy Janga. Peace out. Wow, that guy's incredible.

[Sona Movsesian]

Peace out. He said peace out.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, he did. I don't know. I have to say, these have been amazing calls. And I don't. I don't. These are better than the calls that are curated by Gorley, who I think does a shitty job finding callers. Do you think there's a caller from a Sona fan? Oh, well, I could try and find out. Let's see. I'll look through the list here. No, there isn't. Okay, I know that violates every rule of improv, but. No, it isn't. There's absolutely no single one. Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. We're getting a call right now. We're getting a live call right now. Eduardo, can you patch this person says they're a Sona fan. Let's see if they are. Yeah, let's patch them in right now. Hey, is Conan there? Is Conan on the line? Yeah, this is Conan. What's going on? You say you're a Sona fan? Oh, yeah, I'm a big stone fan. I just psych. I'm not a Sona fan. I just wanted to get on Psych, psych, psych. I'm not so fan. I just wanted to talk to Conan. You're the best, Conan. I don't even know what Sona does. Sona seems like she asked you for a lot of favors. I think it's too many favors. I just. Just say you suck, David Hing. You suck. You suck. You suck. Psych, psych. You suck.

[Sona Movsesian]

You fan.

[Conan O'Brien]

Baba booie. Baba booie. Baba booie.

[Sona Movsesian]

You fan.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, you Sona. I can you. Yeah, you stink. Enjoy.

[Sona Movsesian]

You. You.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're dragging Conan down. He's the best. All right, bye. Yeah, bye. Bye, Conan.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Woo.

[Conan O'Brien]

Woo. Jesus. That was unpleasant. It said he psyched me out. He said he was a fan of yours.

[Sona Movsesian]

You know what? Not all our fans are.

[Atsuko Okotsuka]

Are good.

[Sona Movsesian]

I think that we don't need all of them.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, we do need that guy.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, I don't think we do.

[Conan O'Brien]

Says here he's a multi millionaire and he wants to give all of his money to the show. Which of course would mean it would go to me. All right, well, that was review the reviewers and I thought it went really well. Incredible fans. I have great fans. The best. Peace out.

[Matt Gourley]

Conan o' Brien needs a friend with Conan o'. Brien. Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley Produced by me, Matt Gourley Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow Theme song by the White Stripes Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate Talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail], conan. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan o' Brien Needs a Friend. Wherever fine podcasts are downloaded,

[Conan O'Brien]

Support for Conan O' Brien needs a friend comes from FX's alien Earth, one of the most critically acclaimed series of 2025 and a Craig's Choice nominee, hailed as a dazzlingly haunting epic by with standout performances from Sydney Chandler, Timothy Olyphant and Babu Sise, RogerEbert.com declares that the series from Noah Hawley shatters already high expectations for your Emmy consideration in all drama categories. Alien Earth is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundled subscribers. When you're on a GLP1, you often experience a smaller ambition appetite. That means for GLP1 users, every bite of food should be as nutritious and delicious as possible. And that's where Sprouts Farmers Market comes in. I knew they'd come in somewhere and I guess now's where they come in. From nutrient dense foods to proteins to supplements that help sustain muscle mass and energy levels, Sprouts has you covered and with in store wellness experts available. Guidance is always within reach for any GLP1 journey or broader health goals. Visit sprouts.com to find a sprouts market near you.