Andrew Scott

Summary

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend — Andrew Scott (June 1, 2026)

Summary of Episode

Main Theme & Purpose In this lively and heartfelt episode, Conan O’Brien sits down with acclaimed Irish actor Andrew Scott for a conversation that blends playful banter, deep reflections on acting and creativity, Irish culture, and a revealing look at Scott’s latest projects. The episode ranges from comic riffs on Conan’s hair and Irish TV, to profound discussion of playfulness in art, the challenges of live performance, and the impact of weather on D-Day—the subject of Scott’s new film “Pressure.” Core to the tone is a genuine sense of admiration and mutual creative curiosity between Conan and Andrew.

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Opening Banter: Hair, Arg(an) Oil & Irish Language

[03:45–09:36]

• Conan muses about the evolution of his hairstyle now that he’s doing a podcast instead of TV: “It’s mood hair. It’s just insanity. I don’t know, do I need to get it under control? Or is this just what it is now, man?” (03:14)
• Sona and Conan riff on expensive hair treatments, product rituals, and the mythical origins of Sona’s powerful hair, with Conan joking about Moroccan argan oil and deforestation:
  • “They’re cutting down forests to tame her hair.” (06:48)
  • Sona: “I wasn’t a bald baby.” (07:23)
  • Conan: “Your hair was born maybe two months before you came out.” (07:26)
• Recurrent playful teasing about Sona’s birth and her mother’s pelvic muscles.
• Sona tries to expense argan oil for the podcast, but Conan shuts it down: “Absolutely not. You cannot buy argan oil on our dime.” (08:59)

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Andrew Scott Joins: Irishness and Storytelling

[09:36–13:20]

• Conan introduces Andrew Scott, expressing deep admiration: “I think he’s one of the greatest actors alive.” (09:37)
• They chuckle about the Irish TV show Ros na Rún, Conan’s cameo on it, and the challenge of delivering lines in Irish (Gaelic):
  • Conan: “I did some taping in Dublin... All my lines are in Irish, what we used to call Gaelic, but they’re all in Irish.” (10:17)
• Discussion on the unique humor and storytelling culture of Ireland:
  • Andrew: “You throw a stick and you will hit 75 of the funniest people you’ve ever met in your life…” (11:54)
  • Andrew reflects on being “100% Irish” and the heightened awareness of one’s Irishness when living outside Ireland. (12:08)

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The Craft of Villainy: “Sherlock,” “Fleabag,” and Iconic Roles

[13:20–17:48]

• Conan explains his obsession with Scott’s performances as Moriarty in “Sherlock” and the “Hot Priest” in “Fleabag.” He praises Scott’s ability to blend menace and charm:
  • Conan: “All the best villains are charming and funny.” (14:35)
  • Scott, recalling the famous line: “I will burn the heart out of you.” (14:56)
• Conan also raves about Scott in “Ripley” and theatrical work “Vanya,” and mentions his appearance in “The Comeback” with Lisa Kudrow:
  • “You play every role. I don’t understand. There are times I watch people…where I say, well, that’s a different species. I don’t know how you did that.” (17:07)
• Matt Gorley notes: “You’re forgetting he’s a Bond villain, too.” (17:48)

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Andrew’s Origin Story: Shyness, Lisp, and the Joy of Play

[18:29–22:00]

• Andrew reveals he was a shy child who had a lisp, which led him to elocution (speech and drama) lessons:
  • Scott: “Suddenly I was able to be kind of not shy and do all these weird things. And I kind of love TV and all that kind of stuff.” (18:48)
  • He credits playfulness as a lasting foundation for his craft.
• A mutual love for “The Muppet Show” and admiration for Jim Henson:
  • Andrew: “The Muppet Show is extraordinary… That’s why, as a kid, you’re sort of fully formed.” (19:31, 20:44)
• Scott’s mother was an art teacher; drawing helped him with party anxiety:
  • “The drawing is a way of…just practicing being around human beings.” (21:43)

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On Creative Instincts: Being "Fully Formed" and Nurturing Play

[24:33–32:12]

• Both discuss the belief that personality is “fully formed” in childhood:
  • Conan: “All of you are who you were when I brought you home from the hospital… You come, what you can do is fuck it up, or you can nurture.” (24:32)
  • Scott: “If you have this very sad idea of what something wants to be…I think that’s what my parents were both very good at.” (25:46)
• Expressing the value of “play” over “high art,” rejecting artistic snobbery:
  • Scott: “I hate the idea of high art and low art. I think it’s nonsense.” (28:23)
  • “There’s no difference between a great Warner Brothers cartoon and a really good Shakespeare sonnet. It’s exactly the same thing.” (Conan, 29:28)
• Scott: “As an actor…just playfulness. The stuff I love to do is to be able to just do all the different stuff, because why wouldn’t you?” (29:28)

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Embracing Mistakes, Audience, and Standing Ovations

[32:38–37:42]

• Both reflect on the gift of mistakes in live performance and audience connection:
  • Conan: “I would pray for mistakes because mistakes were such gifts.” (32:38)
• Andrew describes the electric moment when an audience senses a mistake in theater:
  • “There’s no better atmosphere…than when you think somebody has made a mistake. The whole audience is like, oh my god, something is happening here.” (33:21)
• On reading audiences and etiquette after shows:
  • Conan: “Biggest mistake…was a guest would come out, tell a story, and then say ‘I’m sorry, this is boring.’ You could feel the audience leave.” (35:48)
• Skepticism about the current culture of standing ovations:
  • Scott: “Standing ovations. You cannot go to anything without being standing. It’s the terrible worst thing you’ve ever seen. Everybody’s standing.” (36:36)
  • Both agree frequent standing ovations have lost meaning.

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Emotional Sensitivity, Artistic Openness, and the Irish Psyche

[38:05–40:53]

• On turbulence, anxiety, and sensitivity as ingredients in creative growth:
  • Scott: “Sensitivity is the word. You can’t have one without the other. So I suppose I’m pretty...thin-skinned.” (38:53)
  • Conan: “I’m incredibly thin-skinned and then I can be a Viking. I have both in me and it’s hard to reconcile them.” (39:04)
• Scott treasures everyday interactions, seeing everyone’s life as a story:
  • “People always have a story they want to tell. That’s the stuff I love… I would be very, very lost without being [connected].” (40:02)

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Theatre’s Magic, Mark Rylance, and "Vanya" Solo Performance

[40:53–47:49]

• Scott shares his love for theater’s intimacy and liveness, referencing Mark Rylance’s iconic lighter trick in “Jerusalem” as an example of powerful, simple stagecraft:
  • Conan: “You can delight the human brain with the old ways as well as with the new.” (42:10)
  • Scott: “The liveness, the mistakes…the humanity is the thing that delights the audience…If someone said, I could do that with a pen… it bonds the performer and the audience.” (42:54)
• Discussion of “Vanya,” where Scott played every role. He describes the playful opening and ability to improvise:
  • “If you do go up on the line, it was bliss. You could just make it all up…You just go, okay, I fucked that bit up. I’ll just keep talking…because nobody— I haven’t messed anybody up.” (47:23)
  • “I say that a lot: ‘I can’t work with this guy.’” (47:26)

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“Pressure” — World War II, D-Day, and the Drama of Weather

[48:27–55:13]

• Conan saw Scott’s new movie, “Pressure,” in which he plays Captain James Stagg, the meteorologist who decided the timing of D-Day:
  • “It’s about World War II and the buildup to D-Day… the Allies are going to launch, but it entirely depends on the weather, and they only have one guy, Stagg, who can make the call.” (48:27)
• They discuss the unexpected drama and high stakes in a “movie about the weather”:
  • Scott: “It’s a movie about the weather, but…what’s preposterous is not having a movie about the weather. It influences every day, our mood, what we wear, where we go.” (50:15)
  • “He was this extraordinary…not a particularly affable person. And I love those cinematic characters that aren’t necessarily nice but are good.” (52:17)
• Conan relates: “I spend so much of my life…trying to make sure everyone in the room is okay. So I’m fascinated by people who just don’t give a shit.” (52:35)
• Recollection of Andrew’s earliest roles, including being run over by Tom Hanks in “Saving Private Ryan”:
  • “Tom Hanks rolled over me and I’m like, ‘Mister, please.’” (53:55)
  • Line from “Private Ryan”: “Nobody’s where they’re supposed to.” (53:56)

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On Good Acting: Opposites, Charm, and Expectations

[55:13–56:43]

• Scott enjoys roles where outward demeanor and inward feelings are opposed:
  • “Whatever you’re presenting, you want it to be the opposite of what you’re feeling sometimes. They’re the ones that…whether it’s somebody who’s cold hearted and is incredibly benign or the opposite.” (55:13)
• He’s aware that people sometimes expect him to be “a little bit more sinister” due to his reputation:
  • “For sure, for sure…I don’t mind that.” (55:34)

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Conan's Bucket List, Ross Narun Video, Joy in Connection

[56:43–58:48]

• Conan shares that meeting Scott was a top bucket list moment, and asks him to pass along his admiration to Phoebe Waller-Bridge.
• They watch the infamous “balloon boy” clip from Ros na Rún (Conan, Irish cameo):
  • “There was no way to be cool in that scene. No, with that hat.” (57:53)
• Andrew: “Absolutely beautiful.” (58:33)
• Conan: “Just a joy to be with you today.” (58:37)
  • Andrew: “Joy to be with you guys too. Thank you so much for having me.” (58:48)

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Notable Quotes

• “All the best villains are charming and funny.” — Conan O’Brien (14:35)
• “You throw a stick and you will hit 75 of the funniest people you’ve ever met in your life and they’ll tear your face off.” — Andrew Scott (11:54)
• “I hate the idea of high art and low art. I really do. I think it’s nonsense.” — Andrew Scott (28:23)
• “If you do go up on the line, it was bliss. You could just make it all up…You just go, okay, I fucked that bit up.” — Andrew Scott (47:23)
• “You can delight the human brain with the old ways as well as with the new.” — Conan O’Brien (42:10)
• “He was this extraordinary… not a particularly affable person. And I love those cinematic characters that aren’t necessarily nice but are good.” — Andrew Scott (52:17)
• “Just do the thing.” — Andrew Scott, on not overanalyzing live performance (35:08)
• “All of you are who you were when I brought you home from the hospital…You come, what you can do is fuck it up, or you can nurture.” — Conan O’Brien (24:32)

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Important Timestamps

• 03:45 – 09:36: Hair care, argan oil, and jokes about Sona’s birth
• 09:36 – 13:20: Intro and Irish roots, Ros na Rún banter
• 14:00 – 17:48: Discussion of iconic roles, villain craft, “Sherlock,” “Fleabag,” and more
• 18:29 – 22:00: Childhood shyness, lisp, discovering acting, The Muppet Show
• 24:32 – 29:28: Fully formed personalities, playfulness, snobbery in art
• 32:38 – 37:42: Mistakes on stage, authenticity, standing ovations
• 38:05 – 40:53: Emotional sensitivity, connection with people, Irish psyche
• 40:53 – 47:49: Theater’s magic, Mark Rylance, one-man “Vanya,” solo performance dynamics
• 48:27 – 55:13: “Pressure,” D-Day’s weather, “Saving Private Ryan,” the drama of decision-making
• 56:43 – 58:48: Conan’s bucket list, Ros na Rún video, concluding warmth

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Tone and Takeaways

• Deeply playful, self-deprecating, and affectionate—true to “Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend.”
• Andrew Scott comes across as introspective, humorous, and generous about the creative process.
• Both reinforce the magic of live theater, the necessity of mistakes, and the irrelevance of artistic snobbery.
• The conversation is an invitation to cherish playful creativity, embrace imperfection, and value every kind of human story.

Recommended for anyone who loves acting, Irish wit, dramatic storytelling, or simply great conversation.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

Yeah, I do.

[A]

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[C]

What the hell?

[A]

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[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

They went too far. They went too far.

[B]

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[A]

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[C]

Hi, my name is Andrew Scott Anto. Oh, huz urim about being Con o' Brien's friend.

[A]

What?

[B]

What is that?

[C]

That means I'm happy in Irish. Whoa.

[A]

In Irish.

[B]

Fall is here. Hear the yell back to school.

[A]

Ring the brand new shoes Walking blues

[B]

climb the fence Books and pens I can tell that we are gonna be

[C]

friends I can tell that we are

[A]

gonna be friends hey there. Welcome to Conan o' Brien needs a friend, joined by sonam of session. Hello, Sona. Hello, Matt Gorley. How are you, Matt?

[D]

Hi, Doc.

[B]

Hi, Doc.

[A]

I'll just let it go. Do you guys ever see our videos come up when you're, you know.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You see the videos come up of us doing the podcast. And I see too, when they put out the photo of me with the guests. I'll be with Billie Eilish. I'll be with, you know, whoever the guest is. But I think Billie Eilish came to mind because I was looking at the photograph and my hair is insane. And I realized that for years and years and years, I would do a show and I'd, you know, run a comb through my hair and kind of, you know, make sure the coif was working. And I don't do that at all with the podcast. And sometimes it's insanity. We have a wall out there of pictures of me with different guests, and my hair is all over the map.

[C]

It really is.

[A]

It really. I mean, it's. It's mood hair. It's just insanity. And I don't know, I got self conscious. I think the other day, some. Maybe it was the Billie Eilish photograph popped up on my screen. I don't know what's going on up there. I look like Shemp from the Three Stooges. Yeah, if he were a ginger. And then I started to think, you know, do I need to do something about this? Do I need to get it under control? Or is this just what it is now, man? It's you, it's you. It's podcast, man.

[B]

I have to get. Make sure my hair looks decent every time we do this.

[A]

No, you don't,

[B]

Conan.

[A]

No, no, what I'm saying, Sona. I wasn't saying your hair looks bad bad. It's just I don't think you have any control over what's happening on top of your head.

[B]

I certainly do, sir.

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

I put so much product in my hair, and I have to make sure that it's. It's like, kind of normal.

[A]

I'm seeing your hair after it's been treated and cared for.

[C]

I'm just.

[A]

And I'm saying this. Sony, you know that this is also a compliment because your hair is powerful. It is the source of your strength.

[B]

But I have the most iconic hair on this podcast.

[A]

That's saying something. Yeah, that's. No, I mean, but I mean, you have abundant, luxurious, powerful hair.

[B]

It is.

[A]

And. But what. What do you do to it?

[B]

Okay, so I get out of the

[A]

shower to make it so angry and crazy. Do you taunt it?

[B]

I start off. I put in Argan oil to moisturize.

[A]

It's Aragon oil. What is that?

[B]

It's Argon oil.

[A]

Argon? Isn't Argon a gas? It's a gas.

[B]

No, Argon. Argan oil. It's like from. It's like Moroccan oil. It's like the. It's like really nice oil, and it moisturizes. You can use it on your skin. And then after that, I put in like seven other products. Like, I put in a leave in conditioner, I put in a styling cream, I put in some gel, and then I twirl it, then I blow dry it. And then.

[A]

Then you use a defibrillator. Clear bang. Clear bang.

[B]

I do so much.

[A]

Hostage negotiator comes in.

[B]

Yeah, but it's been dry lately because I. I ran out of. I ran out of iron.

[A]

Wait, all that, huh?

[D]

What would it be like if you didn't?

[B]

Oh, that's horrific.

[A]

Okay, so this stuff is expensive.

[B]

It is expensive, yeah. It's because it's imported, it's expensive.

[A]

So you have to get it from Morocco. That's the best way to do it. Have you been to Morocco to shop for argan oil?

[B]

I have not, but I would love to go and I would go just to shop for argon oil.

[A]

I think if they knew the people in Morocco knew you were coming to get more of their oil, I think they would try to keep you from showing up because it's just a massive drain on their oil supply. I just picture huge reservoirs of argon oil being poured over your head just to tame your hair for two hours.

[B]

Well, maybe it'll help your hair, too.

[A]

You think I should put argon oil on there? I think.

[B]

I think, yes.

[A]

Oh, and then slick it and part it down the middle and put on glasses and go.

[B]

It's a new look.

[A]

And the bibliophile.

[B]

Yeah. I would. I would love to go to Morocco to just buy some more argan oil.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. Not going to happen.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Not on my dime, that's for sure.

[C]

Hopefully.

[A]

Do you direct order it from Morocco?

[B]

No, but you can only get it because they. They're. I guess they're just trees that only grow in Morocco and then they, like, cultivate the oil.

[A]

They're cutting down trees in Morocco to tame your hair? No, they're cutting down forests. Forests to tame her hair.

[B]

Forest, yeah.

[A]

That's why there's a desert. It was beautiful. No, it was like Ireland there once, until Sona started to try and tame her hair. Oh, my God. It was like the Shire. There were monkeys around going from tree to tree. And then Sona was born. Oh, man, we need these trees.

[B]

You thought I'd been using it since I was born, like I was an infant putting on argon oil.

[A]

I think you were born with all that hair. I really do. I don't think you were a bald baby.

[B]

I wasn't.

[A]

No.

[B]

I didn't think I Was not a bald baby.

[A]

I didn't think so. Your hair was born maybe a two months before you came out.

[B]

Is that funny?

[A]

Your mom. Your mom was braiding it. Well, she'll be here soon. Yeah, that's right. That's the image I want all of you to have. That's how you're actually born. With a handle. Yeah, when it was time. A rip cord. A rip cord. Yeah. And thwoop. Wah, wah, wah. So anyway, that's insanity. Anyway, so it's dry now because you're no argon oil.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've run out, so I gotta go get some.

[A]

All right. We gotta get you some. All right. Insane in just insanity and one of the most disturbing images out of hundreds and hundreds of episodes we've done.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Sona's hair coming out months before she comes out. And then her mom combing it and braiding it before Sona's born is freaking me out.

[B]

I feel like this is the second time he's done. You've done a whole bit about my birth where one time you were talking about my mom crushing me. What do you guys remember?

[C]

Yeah, this sounds.

[A]

He just kept yelling, I crush you, I crush you. I crush you. Yeah, with her strong pelvic muscles. She was crushing you.

[B]

Say, don't talk about my mom's pelvic muscles.

[A]

Yeah, it was. I don't know why she was crushing you, but I do remember the phrase, I crushed you. I crushed you.

[B]

I gave my mom an apology.

[A]

I don't think so. I love your mom. She's fantastic.

[B]

Yeah, because this is like a show expense, though, like, based on, like, the Blay way of doing things. Can I use my corporate card to buy argon oil?

[A]

Absolutely not. No, because that's just going to encourage Blade to buy more, you know, whatever. Star wars gloves and Iron man assholes. And then charge us for them. So no catching strays in this because you know what you did, and it was wrong. And your mother's been implicated as well. Um, no. No, you cannot buy argon oil on our dime. It's not going to happen. All right, okay, I'll stop you. All right, we've got to get into this because we have an amazing show today. My guest today is a fantastic actor who has starred in Sherlock Fleabag. I mean, so much more. I adore this fellow.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

I think he's one of the greatest actors alive. I'm serious about that. Now you can see him in the new movie Pressure. I'm just on cloud nine. That he's here today because I have not met the man. Andrew Scott. Welcome. You may not be aware that there is an Irish television show that's in Irish language exclusively that they make in Ireland.

[C]

Yes, it's called Ross Naroon.

[A]

Ross Naroon. I was on Ross Naroon. I was on Ross Naroon and then it got cancelled. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You're in the last season of Ross Naroon.

[A]

You closed. I'm the one that ended it. It was flourishing. But no, I went. I did some taping in Dublin. We found out that there was a possibility I could be on Ross Narun. I said, yes, all my lines are in Irish, what we used to call Gaelic, but they're all in Irish.

[C]

So did you have to learn it phonetically?

[A]

Yes, I had to learn it. They had cue cards that a horse could read. I mean, literally, it was, ha, boy na. It's the most insane language. It's completely insane. It is creamy. And I thought, well, this is gonna be cool. And I get there and I talk to this very cool woman who's the producer, super efficient, super smart, wicked sense of humor. And I said to her, well, what's my part? You know, I'm coming in, Am I the dashing, you know, and she went, no, you're. You're an idiot who delivers balloons to the bar. Porn lamb. Yeah. And I said to her, listen, as a joke, I listen. There's a good chance that before the day is out, you will fall in love with me. This is what happens when I work with me. And she said, I'll fall in love with you if you get this done in half an hour.

[C]

Don't burst the balloons.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And don't touch the balloons. And it occurred to me that I've been to Ireland a number of times. And what always occurs to me is that my formative experience was performing. There was a show I did once with a bunch of other Irish comedians years and years and years ago. The show's over. We're at the American ambassador's residence in Phoenix Park. We get into a cab. The cab driver's funnier than all of us.

[C]

Yeah, of course.

[A]

And it's just. You throw a stick and you will hit 75 of the funniest people you've ever met in your life and they'll tear your face off.

[C]

No, they're vicious.

[A]

Yeah, vicious. But you grew up. You grew up in Dublin.

[C]

I grew up in Dublin, Yeah, yeah, yeah. My father. My father was from the Western Ireland, very rural Ireland. My mother was from Northern Ireland. So. But, yeah, Irish, 100% Irish.

[A]

Have you confronted your Irishness?

[C]

Oh, it's like. I think it increases. I think it increases. You know, I think if you get. Well, because when you're in Ireland, you just. You don't think about it. But when you're outside, if you're an Irish person outside of Ireland, you're much more aware, I think, of your Irishness than you would be, of course, if you were just surrounded by everybody else,

[A]

other babbling, Other babbling people, mildly depressed, but also euphoric people.

[C]

Euphoric people. And I think. And I do think there is a. There's a reliance on storytelling and, you know, babbling and being funny because it keeps the people alive. It completely keeps the people alive. So if everybody's emigrated, the way you talk about them is you create this stuff about them and you create. You keep them in the room. You know what I mean? So I do think. I was just back there filming actually in Ireland for the first time in a long time, actually. And everybody's funny. Yeah, everybody's funny.

[A]

It's the way. It's the language.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's just the way.

[C]

It's the use of language.

[A]

So I need to say this right up front. I intended to say it right up front, but of course, we started talking immediately about Ross Narun. About Ross Narun. Which, by the way, every single podcast interview I do Ross Narun.

[C]

Sorry to bring Ross Narun again.

[A]

Cher was just here, and we talked about Ross Narun. You know. Well, she brought it up. Yeah, she brought it up. She said, have you ever done Ross Narun? And I said, shut up, Cher. I am a. Andrew, I am a mega fan to a disturbing level. And I know exactly when it started, which is my son really got into the remake of Sherlock Holmes with Benedict Cumberbund. Benedict Cumberburn. And by the way, in the States, that's a sobriety test. You don't even have to get out of the car. Now they say, who's in the Sherlock Holmes. And if you go, Benedict, thank you.

[C]

Come with me.

[A]

Start. So Benedict Cumberbatch as Holmes, and then you are his nemesis, Moriarty. And the second you walked on camera was a epic moment for me because. And jump in here if you know this performance you gave, which has been much discussed, and it really puts you on the map. You are frightening, terrifying, and funny. And I've always thought all the best villains are charming and funny.

[C]

Totally.

[A]

It's important.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And your Moriarty, there's this iconic scene where you walk into that.

[C]

There's a swimming pool.

[A]

Yeah, swimming pool. And you're being very clever and you have that beautiful lilt in your voice and you're very. And then at one point you say. I believe the line is. You get enraged and you say to Holmes, I will burn your heart.

[C]

I will burn the heart out of you. I will burn the heart out of you.

[A]

Burn the heart out of you. But then you're kind of pleasant again and I think, I have. I don't know how many times I've watched that scene, but you are so great in that role. And then these things just came one after another. Fleabag. The hot priest in Fleabag was an iconic standout role. And by the way, if there were five people you'd asked me a month ago, who would you like to meet that you haven't met? One would be you, and the other would be Phoebe Wellabridge, who I've never met, who I absolutely adore. She's keeping us at a distance, which.

[C]

Quite right. Did you mention Rustleroon?

[A]

I did. No.

[C]

You know, staring you in the face.

[A]

She apparently was booked. Then she saw me as the balloon boy in Ross Maroon.

[C]

She popped those balloons.

[A]

Yeah. And she was out. But Humbertin. Kleebach. Yeah. I'm serious. You have to watch it. It's wild. It's a fright. It's a.

[C]

Did you arrive?

[A]

I had the balloons and the guy at the bar starts thinking I'm an idiot and calling me an idiot, and we get into a dispute and I'm quickly ejected from the bar. That was my big. And then was it a year and a half ago, I hear, oh, they've come out with a serialized version of Ripley that I have watched. Ripley, which I believe is. How many episodes is it?

[C]

I think it's eight episodes, maybe seven or eight.

[A]

I think I've watched it three times

[C]

all the way through.

[A]

Your performance is stunning. All the performances are great. One of the things I also noticed is that you can freeze frame any second of those eight episodes and have that mounted on the wall. And it's a credible black and white photograph. It's. Maybe I'm not someone who walks away from a project and says, oh, the cinematography, that is one of the most spectacular pieces of television filmmaking. So that got me your Vanya, which is. You play every role I do.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Which I don't understand. There are times I watch people. Usually it's in athletics, where I say, well, that's a different species. But I don't know how you did that. And then I'm delighted that one of my best friends in the world, one of my oldest and best friends, Lisa Kudrow, has done this brilliant third version of the Comeback, and I don't even know you're in it. And then you walk in as her new, very mysterious, strange boss. And I thought, okay, all my favorite people are in one project. So, Andrew, if I do nothing else but compliment you in this talk, it will be a very boring interview.

[D]

You're forgetting he's a Bond villain, too.

[A]

Oh, I know. Essentially. I know, I know. I left that out just to humiliate. I appreciate it. He works Bond in every country. I try.

[C]

You do. You're a big Bond gu.

[D]

Well, I mean, you could take it

[A]

or leave it, but no, no, he. We will be talking to a historian about the Battle of Gettysburg, and he will say, how do you think James Bond would have done in that situation? You were fantastic.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So thank you very much. You had this well deserved run. But like all people, you have an origin story. Yeah. And we got to go back to that because you apparently were a very shy kid.

[C]

Yeah, very shy. Yeah, shy.

[A]

And you had a pronounced lisp.

[C]

Yeah, I had a sort of really strong lisp, which I think a lot of kids do. They sort of grow out of it. It's kind of cute. But. So I went to sort of elocution lessons. And you do.

[A]

Like, when I bring up lisp, is it just come back?

[C]

What are you talking about? I have no idea what you're saying.

[A]

Say Benedict Cumberbatch right now.

[C]

But, yeah, I had a lisp. And so, yeah, you had to do this terrible thing called elocution, which is, you know, all about your. But part. It's basically speech and drama. And so the speech part was sort of stultifying, but the drama part was. Suddenly I was able to be kind of not shy and do all these kind of weird things. And I kind of love TV and all that kind of stuff.

[A]

And so what were you watching on tv?

[C]

Like just like the Muppet Show? I was like, nothing. You know, not just exclusively the Muppet Show.

[A]

To this day. To this day, you've never seen anything. You did that. You watched all the Muppet show and then you did Vanya. All the parts.

[C]

But the Muppet show is extraordinary, though, right? Have you seen the Jim Henson documentary?

[D]

Yeah, because we had Ron Howard in here.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, for that.

[A]

I mean, I got to know the man a little bit.

[C]

Did you really?

[A]

In another lifetime. Yeah, I ran this. He was a muppet Yeah, I was a Muppet back in the day. Yeah. I'm related to the Eagle. No. A very good friend of mine from college was Lisa Henson, and her dad used to come and visit us. And then he was very nice to me. And then one day, because I ran the college humor magazine, and he said, hey, Conan, do you want one of the chairs from the Dark Crystal for the Lampoon Building? And I said, well, sure. And he said, well, come down and pick it up. And so we rented a van, and my friends Jessica Marshall and Mark Gannon and I jumped in a van. And I'd never done anything like this. I drove from Boston to New York.

[C]

Oh, come on.

[A]

We went to this warehouse, and they said you hit. You know, a guy with a cigar, was like, you here for the Dark Crystal Throne? Yes, I am. And it's still there to this day.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Amazing.

[C]

Just an incredible man. Just what he would have done. That's what I. Watching this thing. I mean, just. I guess that's why, like, even as a kid, you're sort of fully formed, I think. Do you know what I mean? So, you know, when you're doing all that stuff when I was a kid, sort of know, you become maybe more accomplished, but all the stuff is there with you, I think, when you're eight years old. I think it's something that he really recognizes being now because he understands that sort of, you know, something I talk about endlessly in acting, which is about playfulness, is. That's all you're really required to be. It's just to be a bit like, I'll do that with you.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

You know what I mean? Then you just slot yourself into different sort of scenarios and different sort of tones of drama or comedy or whatever it is.

[A]

And you were very artistic.

[C]

Yeah, artistic. Yeah.

[A]

So you drawing? Painting. What are you doing?

[C]

Drawing? Yeah. Lots of life drawing. My mother was an art teacher. And, yeah, just drawing all the time. It's something that I'm still really interested in. Yeah. So that was kind of, you know, that weird thing where you're. You get terrible party anxiety, and once you're at the party, you're okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And so the drawing is a way of, I don't know, just practicing being around human beings.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Creepy.

[A]

I'll be there in a minute. I just have to draw. All of you.

[C]

Stay still.

[A]

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[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you know T Mobile recently partnered with the National Park Foundation?

[B]

No way.

[A]

Yep. They're making it easier to stay connected, so you're free to wander.

[B]

Well, that's really cool.

[A]

And I love a national park. I really do.

[B]

I do too.

[A]

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[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Literally filled half the Grand Canyon with phones. Then I got T Mobile. Never had to chuck them again, you know.

[B]

Good.

[A]

So wander over to T mobile.com and switch. Best based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data for 2H 2025. Wow, that's some sentence. T satellite with cable device in most outdoor areas in US where you see the sky, that's important. You gotta see the sky.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Service may be limited or unavailable. Included with experience beyond or $10 per month auto renews cancel anytime. That was probably meant to be said by a Robot really quickly, but I just did it slowly so you could really understand. Disclaimer. Please do not throw your phone into the Grand Canyon. You said something that really struck a nerve with me, which is we come fully formed. And that's something that my father used to say to us. He used to say, all of you are who you were when I brought you home from the hospital. Meaning when you. It's like buying a phone that already has the software. Yeah, all that stuff. I know parents really like to think I mold the child and I create the child. And they get very egotistical about it. And it's always been clear to me that they are who they are. They come. What you can do is you can fuck it up, and you can also nurture. And I'm still deciding which way to go. My kids, but they gotta earn it. My time is precious. But, you know, that's.

[C]

But you can fuck up the software completely, couldn't you? Like, you know, you go, like, if you have this very sad idea of what something wants to be, be, you know, somebody. I think that's. I think that's what my parents were both very good at, actually, about knowing, because the. The three. There's. I've got two sisters. My sister's. My older sister Sarah is very sporty, and my younger sister Hannah's very artistic, but in a sort of slightly different way to the way. The way I was artistic. And they were both very good at going, okay, well, you do that, and I think some of the real damage you can do is by going, I don't know. Making your iPhone. A Samsung phone.

[A]

Nicely done.

[C]

Yeah, it works. My child of capitalism.

[A]

Nicely done. Right, because you just secured a deal with Apple.

[C]

Although I've already secured it. That's why I had to pretend.

[A]

Damn you. That's why you paused before you said that you had to get it in the right order. Damn.

[C]

Get it right. Get it right.

[A]

There's a lot writing on this. Well, let me just say that Hanes underwear, I think, is the best underwear, because that's the only deal I could get. Mr. IPhone over here.

[C]

Mr. IPhone.

[A]

Hey, check that out. I'm wearing six layers. Oh, you're wearing Hanes. Hey, hey. Let's be honest. I would kill for a Hanes deal. I'd take anything at this point.

[C]

Hanes is American, right? It's Hanes. I don't really have Hanes.

[A]

I only wear American underwear. Something. I'm very patriotic. I check people's underwear constantly just to make sure they're patriots.

[D]

These Colors don't ruin.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. In North Carolina. Just that's. Thanks for that info, North Carolina. Thank you. Thank you, Eduardo.

[C]

Did you look it up on your iPhone?

[A]

So you grow up. You're working on the electrician.

[C]

I would say that.

[A]

Yeah. You never grew up. But also, I love that you said about play, because that's all any of this is.

[C]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

And I constantly remind people that I have, you know, take me at 12 years old, and I'm. What I'm doing now is certain things have been articulated and developed. It's the same thing. I'm just playing. I love to play. And I will play with anybody. Someone on the street will talk to me, and if they're funny, I'll spend 20 minutes with them.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's just the same thing. And it's a love of play, which we then get very highfalutin. You are Vanya.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

You become five. And it's extremely impressive. And it takes this amazing talent and discipline. You're still playing.

[C]

Oh, you absolutely are. And I hate the idea of high art and low art. I really do. I think it's nonsense. And actually, all the people who were, you know, like, with Shakespeare or any of those people, like, Shakespeare, I always feel, has been sort of hijacked by academics, you know, and anybody, you know, I always find out, because the very first. Because we used to do. When I was a kid, we used to do these. We used to get to do Shakespeare in these little Irish competitions, you know, like just extracts from Shakespeare. So you do 10 minutes of it, and you sort of. I don't know, you just understood. You just. I kind of understood it in a way. Didn't understand all the words. But then I think what happens with some of those big guys is if there are 250 books written about how to speak the language of Michael Patrick King and Lisa Kudrow's the Comeback. Right. It would drown it. It would kill it. There isn't a way of doing. There isn't a way of doing it. And so what I think happens with sort of some of those, with theater particularly, is there's this idea that you're not. Not everybody is possessed of the thing an actor needs to possess, which is just, to my mind, just playfulness. And the stuff that I love to do is to be able to just do lots of all the different stuff, because why wouldn't you?

[A]

Well, it's also. It's seeing that, yes, I love Shakespeare, but I also love the Muppet show that I Love some of the more refined cinema, but I cut my teeth on Warner Brothers cartoons. The timing, the characters, the kinds of attitudes that people are playing. And I think there's no difference between a great Warner Brothers cartoon and a really good Shakespeare sonnet. It's exactly the same thing.

[C]

And actually he even says it in Hamlet. He says he literally has a thing about how you should speak the language. It's so extraordinary. He just says, just speak it trippingly in the tongue and stop shouting it out and stop doing it, all that kind of stuff. So I think because I started and I didn't train formally, you kind of have to put yourself your dukes up a little bit about. About. Not the way I'm talked about because. But the way I. The way I suppose not to let my access to whatever I do for a living to be. To be influenced too much by the seriousness with which other people talk about.

[A]

I always think the word calcify.

[C]

Yeah, right. Things.

[A]

Things harden. If someone starts using a bunch of $50 words describing your process and what you do, they're not doing you any favors.

[C]

No, it's absolutely wrong.

[A]

And it's nice that they see all that in your work, but it's best that you not know about it, because you want access to anything that's gonna make you enjoy. Be spontaneous, see a possibility and not overthink it.

[C]

I think it's so true. And you just keep that alive. And the longer you work, you know. Cause you're not really supposed to play as an adult. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, you're supposed to know, which is like the opposite of playing. Do you know what I mean? You're supposed to have. You just have to know the answer. And like any of the great adults, I think are the ones who are like, I don't know, let's keep. Keep learning. Because it'll be really boring at this stage. I mean, I'm nearly 30 years acting, you know, sort of professionally, and I want. You want to keep being like, you

[A]

know, isn't this cool?

[C]

Isn't this cool?

[A]

Isn't this cool? I get to do this.

[C]

Yes, exactly. This is true. And also not to be sort of false in the sense that you go, I don't know anything, but you can still know things. You can still go, my instinct, you know, you definitely have instincts, but actually it's having more confident in confidence in your instinc. Like when you're doing. Like when you're hanging out with kids and they're playing, watching them play is amazing. They're not thinking, what are we going to do? They just go, okay, you be the thing. You be the thing. You start with a. My mom did this because she was an art teacher, and she was an incredible teacher, my mom, and she used to teach people how to draw. And she said when people start to draw, they immediately start drawing the most tentative line possible because they don't want to make a mistake.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And so the best thing you can always do when you're starting to draw is just to be sort of loud, confident, and wrong. So start with a really strong line. And even if the line is completely wrong and you've drawn over the line, you know, you've drawn over that, that line will actually still be there. But the people appreciate the mistake before. So you start with a bit of confidence, you know, the way kids do. And you can. You can redraw it. Just. But don't not draw.

[A]

But also, I mean, I did this kind of comedy for, whatever, almost 30 years on television, you know, where people come on and I interview them and da, da, da, da. There's a band. And I would pray for mistakes because mistakes were such gifts. And then you get to a point where you're like, oh, my. You know, here, someone will misspeak. I'll misspeak. I'll try to say Benedict Cumberbatch. It doesn't come out right. We then get off on a Jag, if you acknowledge it. And then it becomes about drunk driving. And then it becomes. And then it gets called back when we're talking about. That's the joy of it. And people know instinctively, as you know from doing theater so much of your life, there's something about audiences where they know the truth.

[C]

I always think that. About making mistakes in the theater, about people worrying about forgetting lines. There's no better atmosphere. There's no more attentive atmosphere than when you think somebody has made a mistake. The whole audience is like, oh, my God, something is happening here. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

[A]

Right.

[C]

And the actor's fear is that, oh, my God, everybody's gonna think I'm terrible person. But actually, what I think the audiences feel is it reminds them that they've remembered all the other lines.

[A]

Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's really. Wait a minute. Their hit rate is pretty good. You know what I mean?

[C]

So you go, oh, God, this is. This is sort of live, so it's kind of all right. And once you get over that idea of making a mistake, if, you know, like, otherwise, like, you know, the weird Stuff that happens makes it, you know, makes the day the day. You know what I mean? And, yeah, I always think it's weird as well. Do you, like, in comedy, do you feel like you guys dissect the audience as much as we do in the theater?

[A]

Oh, used to, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I would be. And we'll get to this. Cause, you know, we'll be talking about this a little later in the interview, but it's like the way a meteorologist dissects a weather system. I used to, you know, tonight. Tonight, you felt pretty good. Now I felt like they were. And then you get to be like someone who studied wine all their life, and you've just sipped some wine instead of being like, oh, my God, I love. This is a great. I'm here in Tuscany. I just had a great sip of, you know, of Pinot noir. Instead, you're like. The audience, when I first came out, they were, yeah, no, you know what? There's enthusiasm, but it's kind of a froth. It's not now. Then I would say on the upper right hand of the. I couldn't get them. There was sort of a tentativeness. But then I felt like they were a little judgmental, you know, and you're like, shut up.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Shut up.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Do the thing.

[C]

Just do the thing. It's like when you go and see somebody in a play, it's a lesson I learned really, really young. When I was really young. I started at the Abbey Theater when I was about 19 or 20, and exactly that someone had come to see the play. And they were like, oh, my God, I loved. And I was like, we're just gonna get this laugh that we'd got. You know, the thing. You know, I wish you'd been in last night. But the audience was incredible. And this brilliant actor said, don't do that. Don't do that. Because they don't notice. I understand. That's. Not that it didn't happen. It probably was a greater show last night, but, like, who cares? And when you're in the audience and you're laughing at something, you're not thinking, God, I wish that person on the balcony was laughing as much. And you don't really care. You don't even. Awareness.

[A]

The biggest mistake of thousands and thousands and thousands of interviews in front of audiences that I've done was a guest would come out and they would start talking and saying some of their stories. And then they would say, I'm sorry, and this is boring. I'm Sorry. And you could feel the audience leave. You know, I was thinking to myself, that's such a rookie mistake. Don't tell them they're getting a bad show. And also, in terms of etiquette, after someone's seen you do a show, they don't want to hear you go, I know. I just felt like today. No, they saw you do what you had today.

[C]

Yeah, totally.

[A]

And sometimes they love it. They're just not demonstrative. I mean, we have this culture now

[C]

of everybody gets standing up, everybody stands for. It's too much. Sorry, Sorry to be.

[A]

No, no. Stands up. Standing ovations.

[C]

Standing ovations. You cannot go to anything without being standing. It's the terrible worst thing you've ever seen. Everybody's standing.

[A]

And also, you go to any daytime and also late night show and everybody stands up for everything. Like you're going to watch a cooking segment at one of the. And everyone stands. And I think, huh? Well, you know, it used to be that an actor could be in the theater or a performer could perform most of their life and get one standing ovation. And, boy, did that mean something.

[C]

Yeah, that meant something.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because it's the thing. Because it's completely without meaning. When you're on the stage, though, I say this, and then you're like, who's that fucker in the fucking fourth row? Is not standing.

[A]

Because when everyone's standing and one person is.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. You're like. But I sort of admire it. I sort of admire it because it doesn't mean they hated it. No, it just means.

[A]

It just seems that they.

[C]

They just didn't want to stand up. They're drunk. Yeah.

[E]

Arthritic.

[A]

I have got so used to standing ovations. I'm sorry. I just have that when someone's not standing, sometimes I berate them.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And they're like, sir, I have no legs. Well, that's awkward.

[C]

Well.

[A]

Well, you could still lift him.

[C]

Someone could have asked to be lifted.

[A]

You could have come with a lifter.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

If you enjoyed it, but you didn't care enough to hire someone so messed up. I know. It's so messed up. So you're struggling all these things when you're a kid. Because I'm always interested in this part because it's fascinating to me. I do think that turbulence and anxiety and some level of some of that stuff just has to be part of the stew, whether you like it or not, growing up.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. Yeah, yeah. It's definitely. I don't Think you kind of really have the other stuff with the other stuff. Yeah, you know, you gotta be. It's not, it's not, you know, it's supposed to. Sensitivity is the word. Like you gotta be. You gotta be, Gotta be. You can't have one without the other. So I suppose I'm pretty. What is it? Thin skinned. And I do think Irish people are pretty sensitive as well.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[C]

You know what I mean? I think so soft hearted. I think it's in the culture which I think it allows the people to be so brutal because, you know, it's both. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's the. It's always. All the things are both. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I always think it's. I mean, speaking for myself, I'm incredibly thin skinned and then I can be a Viking. I have both in me and it's hard to reconcile them both. But that's what it is.

[C]

It's exactly what it is. And it's like what you were saying about. I think there's something when you become well known and it's interesting that you say about talking to people on the street, which is still incredibly important to me. And one of the things that I think would frighten me is not having that access to just talking to people every day. I think it just seems like an awful thing to just be so sort of successful or so recognizable that you have to be in this sort of. Of prison the whole time. So not to be able to get out and go have a laugh at people. And that's why I sort of hate. It's funny that you were saying that as well about when people say, oh, this is boring. Like when you talk to people and they say, oh, I don't have as interesting a job as you. You think? I bet you do.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then, you know, maybe not as interesting a job, so to speak, but people always have a story that they kind of want to tell. And so being able to have the access to those people for them to feel like, so what do you do? And then people tell you incredible things. And that's the stuff that I love. And I don't know if that's about being Irish or whether that's just being interested in people or whatever, or if it's to do with being artistic. I don't know what it is, but you know, that I think is the thing that you want to. I would be very, very lost without being.

[A]

Well, that's why, I mean, you've had all this success, movies and, and television. And I read that you make A real point of doing theater regularly, you love. I mean, this is something we have in common. I love being in a theater.

[C]

I also love sort of nothing in an old theater, if you know what I'm saying. There's this extraordinary moment. I went to see the amazing Mark Rylance in Jerusalem, and there's this extraordinary theatrical sort of trick he did, trying to think if there's something here, too. So he had a fight for him. Yeah. Someone had a cigarette lighter and he was. He was. He was playing a. He was playing a giant. It was about giants. It was sort of about folklore in the English countryside. And somebody had a lighter and he was telling the story about a giant talking to a child. And to make this sort of. This theatrical sort of gesture, he put this cigarette lighter down on the ground like. Like here. Yeah, put it down here, like on the. He sort of stood it up. He spoke down to this.

[A]

A cigarette lighter.

[C]

The cigarette lighter. And so you immediately, in this. It was at the Royal Court Theatre, you immediately had this sense of scale that's just. That's got nothing to do with CGI or, you know. So much. Thank you. Very useful.

[D]

I'll never wash this pen cap again.

[A]

And he's a real pen washer, so

[C]

I know you love to watch the.

[A]

He has. He is. Every time I see him, he's scrubbing away. But.

[C]

But, yeah, that. It's just that sort of stuff. And the audience go, no.

[A]

It's amazing how when you see someone come up with something like that in a moment and you realize it's. All the tools change, but the task doesn't. So, you know. But you know what you've got now we have AI and CGI and supercomputers, and you can create all these effects and you can put it in the round, you can do all these things, but basically you're getting the same effect as Mark Rylance putting a pen cap on the floor or a lighter and standing there in that moment, you can delight the human brain with the old ways as well as with the new.

[C]

It's exactly true, because the audience are going, this is what I find so moving. I never don't find it moving, which I think is why I love the theater, is that adults are going into a theater willfully and people are turning off the lights and somebody is telling them a sort of lie that they know is a lie. A story. And they're saying, tell me a story. So the liveness, the mistakes and the humanity of it is the thing that really, really delights the audience. And, of course, visual effects. I mean, all that stuff is amazing too, but it separates the audience a little bit from the performer. Whereas if someone said, I could do that with a pen if I just had access to my imagination. So actually it bonds the performer and the audience member. Whereas if you've got too much stuff, they think, oh, well, that's not something that. Anything to do with me. That's just something that I can be impressed by but not necessarily connected to. I don't know. So the grand scheme of a big theater juxtapose was that just a one tiny human performer is sort of beautiful to me as well. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah. You will keep getting these opportunities to do movies and all kinds of projects you want. But I love that you're saying, yeah, this is what I need. I need this. I need to be in these live productions. Because that's just. It's like touching a home base. You just got to.

[C]

That's exactly what it is. And when we did Vanya, you know, that one. One of the beautiful things about that was because that's, you know, Chekov and very serious high art. And Chekov is so funny. Like, genuinely so funny. And it's a kind of ridiculous idea that. And it started as a mistake was this. We thought, there's eight characters in the show. And I was reading it with the director and the writer, and we sort of allocated the parts, and we were just reading because I was just gonna play one part, and we were like, oh, which part might it be? And we were sort of playing. The three of us were playing all the roles, and we sort of misallocated the roles. So I ended up sort of going, wait, are you. And I was like, okay, I'll just act. Just to hear that. I'll just act with myself. And it was so weird because it was the two characters in the play that proclaimed that they were the most opposite to each other. And so it seemed completely absurd that this person was. Anyway, that was kind of interesting. And then we were like, oh, maybe we could do it with two people. And then maybe. Actually, why don't you try with one person? Anyway, the whole thing sort of. I was a bit reluctant because I thought, does that just seem like. Like, let me do it sort of. Yeah. You know what I mean?

[A]

I think the exact quote. The exact quote. Because I talked to someone who was. There was. I got this.

[C]

Yes, that's. I know. That's what I said.

[A]

Remember, you tried to dismiss us all

[C]

today and do this along.

[A]

Yes, I did. I did try to. And I still think I could do it all. I'm learning about the electronics. Electronics, Electronics. I know you have your electronic systems.

[C]

The electronics over there.

[A]

Oh, I think that's proof. I know what I'm talking about. Yeah, but, but yeah, like all that stuff.

[C]

So you see, see, so you know to do that anyway, so why am I telling you this?

[A]

No, because you're. You're talking about how it all be expanded to you playing all these roles. Yeah.

[C]

So then you do. You do all the. You do those things. So anyway, I did all the. Ended up playing all the parts. And like, how do you do it to. How do you. How do you make the audience feel, number one, that they understand it, but also, how do you teach an audience about. We had this really fun moment at the beginning because I really wanted the audience to sort of not feel like, okay, we're watching Chekhov like this. What do we need to. Because people are like, what do I need to know? I mean, it's Russian.

[A]

Am I worthy of this? Yeah.

[C]

What's the thing? So we did this thing where I came out and I came out and the audience was like, what the fuck is this going to. What's this going to be like? He's going to play all the parts. So we did this whole of fun thing. It was such a good thing to do where I sort of turned off the house. I came out and I turned off the house. That's a little trick. Yeah, but you turn off the house lights so they go, okay, we're all in darkness now. And then I just turned them back on again. Just turn them back on again. And I looked at them and they were like, oh, gee. Oh my God. I was like, I can see you. You can see me. This is a bit weird. And they're already laughing before they.

[A]

Sure. Before they know you've told them, let's

[C]

don't worry, don't worry. It's.

[A]

We're gonna have fun.

[C]

Yeah, it's fun. And I can see you can see me in all that good stuff. And I love, love that up alongside something that's just like at a great masterpiece.

[A]

Here's what would fascinate me is if you. If you're playing that many roles and you go up on a line, can you ask one of your other selves, I can apologize.

[C]

Can I apologize?

[A]

Or do you ever say, I can't

[C]

work with this guy? I say that a lot.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Do you know what's so one of the greatest was actually nearly the Best thing about it is if you do do go up on the line, it was bliss. You could just make it all up. You could just. You. You just go, okay, I. That bit up. Okay, well, I'm just going to keep talking because nobody. I'm not. I haven't messed anybody up. And then I'll ask a question that isn't in the script, and I'll make that person answer in order to go

[A]

back to that person.

[C]

It's kind of amazing. It's kind of great. It was great.

[A]

That's right. You don't have other actors around you going, what?

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

What?

[C]

Doing. Yeah. What do we.

[A]

I want to talk about this again. Interesting process now where you've made a movie and I was told I could access this movie, I could watch it yesterday. And they said it's this whole system now. It used to be they just give you a DVD or something or screener. And they said, here's this system and this code, and then you're going to get this number and you're calling different people. I don't know much about electronics. Electronics, but I know nothing about the movie.

[C]

Yeah, right. Yeah.

[A]

I just know it's called Pressure. And I will watch you read the dictionary. So it's like, Andrew Scott, Pressure. I'm in. So finally, the movies start. I don't know anything about it, and I realize, oh, it's about World War II and it's about the buildup to D Day. And then I realize your character's on screen and he's being called to do this very important job. And I realized, wait a minute. Because I'm a history buff, I think I know about this. Oh, my gosh, I knew about it. Which is, you know, the Allies are going to launch the D day invasion to try and save Europe. They've got the largest armada in the history of civilization.

[D]

Wait, are you just saying you know about D Day?

[A]

Yes, I think most people do. I do. And that's the end of the interview. I know two things. Electronics. No, but I know that what I was aware of was that what's the thing that's perilous that they really need to know, which is invasions over water are almost impossible. They usually fail. They only work when the conditions are right. But it's 1944. Meteorology is still kind of in its infancy. They need to know the weather's going to be okay. And Churchill says, there's this one guy who I think is a genius who could do it. And they bring Captain James Stagg in. And I'm like, I actually know this story. Not as I didn't know enough about it, I kind of knew about it. And that's what this movie's about. Which is a great story to tell.

[C]

Yeah, it's a great story.

[A]

It's really a great story to tell.

[C]

It's a really interesting story. It sounds kind of weird. It's a movie about the weather.

[A]

Yeah. Coming soon with hair. To you guys talking about the weather in a room.

[C]

Well, I'm trying to sell her.

[A]

Sell, baby, sell.

[C]

But yeah, it is a quite weird thing. But the weather comes into our lives. Like it's sort of. People think, oh, it's what a preposterous thing to, you know, have a movie about. Yeah, yeah. Because it's sort of like a movie about the weather, but it's also kind of preposterous to sort of not have a movie about the weather. Do you know what I mean? Because it influences, influences every day. You know, what we're, you know, what we wear, where we go, where we're going to have our kids birthday party, where are we going to be on our holidays? Like what our mood? Like, it's something that, it's sort of, it sort of changed my attitude towards the weather about how of course they would be thinking, okay, well if we have to, if we have to land on the beaches in Normandy, we need to know that these kids are not going to be drowned immediately. The conditions are going to be, are they going to be able to land safely? So they need somebody to say, this is what it's gonna be like. Don't go on that day. Cause then you'll surprise them. Or that would be a good day to go. They'll see it coming and blah, blah, blah, blah. So they had this very particular day that they wanted to do it and this guy, very, very resolute kind of man, stood up, he was a real hero. And he was like, no, no, you're not going on that day. And they were like, we are going on that day.

[A]

Well, that's the thing the movie gets really, I think, right? The enormous pressure.

[C]

Yeah, the huge pressure.

[A]

Meaning this isn't just, should we do the podcast today or should we move it to tomorrow? Yeah, it's close to that second.

[C]

The pressure is similar.

[A]

You don't, you have. Andrew, you have no idea what I deal with day in and day out. I am Eisenhower. Oh my God.

[B]

Oh, Jesus.

[A]

And I made the decision today. Let's proceed with Andrew Scott and the 40 minute chat. And that took balls and Go and failed. Body is everywhere. No, but, you know, it was. It's this huge decision, and it really does come down to the entire unified Allied Command looking at this one guy and saying, well, we need to go and we need to go now. And it's all set and just all we need is you're okay. And he says, can't give it to you.

[C]

Yeah, I won't give it to you. I can't and I won't. And so he was this extraordinary. He's sort of. He's not. Not a particularly affable person. And I love those kind of cinematic characters that aren't necessarily nice but are good.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[A]

No, he's a very good man and he's doing the right thing, but he is not a people pleaser.

[C]

No, it's not.

[A]

And I'm fast because I'm. I just. I spend so much of my life making. Trying to make sure everyone in the room is okay. Okay. And so I'm fascinated by people who just don't give a shit.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Just don't. He's here. What are you doing?

[C]

No pleasantries.

[A]

Stop that. No pleasantries. People go to shake your hand. There's not time for that.

[C]

Well, I mean, it's great, I think, because I'm a little bit similar to you as well. I think that's, again, part of the irony.

[A]

We're both great actors. I didn't catch that.

[E]

He was.

[A]

Have you seen my Vanya? Did you see. Andrew Scott just said we're very similar. Hello, Is this. What's wrong with this?

[C]

They turn it on.

[D]

Yeah, you got a lying down ovation.

[A]

People try to actually find lower ground when I finish a play. They went to Death Valley. Is there a basement here? I hear drilling often when I. But no, but I. What I loved about it was it's. Historically, it's a true story. It really happened. It's something no one's gonna talk about. And people know the 1D day story, which I understand you were a very small part of Saving Private Ryan.

[C]

Tiny little Ryan.

[A]

Wasn't that like one of your early things?

[C]

Yeah, they shot that in the south of. South of Ireland on Kirkcloud Beach. Yeah. So basically just nothing. Tom Hanks rolled over me and I'm like, mister, please.

[A]

Did you. What was your line?

[C]

My line was nobody's where they're supposed to.

[A]

Yes, that's.

[C]

I know very well.

[A]

I know that line. Oh, yeah, that's crazy.

[C]

That's.

[A]

Nobody's where they're supposed to be. But you, your head gets blown off.

[C]

I don't think people cared enough to, to, to know if my hair got, my head got blown off. I just, I was just, I always say I was the guy in green, right? Oh, my God.

[A]

But your character, you did manage to shatter out. Then it actually made it into the, into Saving Private Ryan. The weather is key. More on that later. You'll see, you'll always. Hank comes back and he shoots you and you're an American. No, it's, it's, I'm, I was thrilled. It was like I had, I knew nothing. And, yeah, it's an interesting story. And then I'm like, oh, this is great. This is really great. Yeah, yeah. And a terrific cast.

[C]

Yeah. Really good. Yeah. Brendan, Brendan Fraser and Chris Messina and Carrie Conan. Damian Lewis. Great people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I, I, Damian Lewis says. Is it. He's Henry the 8th. I believe he's Henry VII. He's Henry VIII in Wolf Hole.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He's so good in that because he's genial.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

The same thing we were talking about. He's genial, but he'll cut your head off.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And, and, and smile.

[C]

Yeah. It's like all those characters that I always think that's what you want as an actor is you want whatever you're presenting to be the opposite of what you're feeling sometimes. You know what I mean? They're the ones that, you know, whether it's somebody who's cold hearted and is incredibly benign or the opposite.

[D]

Do you have people expect you to kind of walk into a room sometimes be a little bit more sinister because you're smart?

[C]

For sure.

[A]

For sure.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. I don't mind that.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

No, but I do think that's true.

[A]

Your waiter comes right away. My waiter. They're like, that idiot can. He can. Well, this has been an absolute thrill for me. And like I say, if you bump into Phoebe Waller Bridge anytime soon, please tell her of course. My list has got you.

[E]

Of course.

[C]

My pleasure.

[A]

My list is almost down to no one at this point, but she's on it.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

But up to today, it was the two of you. And so this is a bucket list moment for me. I hope you'll come back anytime.

[C]

I'd love to come back.

[A]

Yeah. Just. And trust me, I am going to get you my clip from Ross Narun. Maybe we can find it. You found it. Oh, my God. Here we go. This is just a photo. Oh, that's just a photo. We'll dial up the YouTube here for sure. That's how they dressed me. That's what happens when a hero returns to his country. You came in on off the street with that and the balloons.

[C]

Incredible.

[A]

We have the clip if you want to put on your headphones. Yeah, you'll be able to listen to it. He thought he was an actor until he saw this.

[C]

Always learning.

[A]

Here we go.

[C]

Here we go.

[A]

Lots of balloons. Small doorway.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

That's a dog etching balloons. They're toe edge. Cash on delivery. So pmt.

[C]

That is incredible.

[A]

Wait, is there Irish word for balloon? No, no, they just said. Told me to say balloon. But they also, they humil. They just went out of their way. And God bless them because no one deserves it more than I do. But there was no way to be cool in that scene. No, with that hat. The hat. And yeah, I remembered saying like, what if, you know, Colin Farrell showed up? She'd be like, what would you know? We'd make him the love interest. We're not giving him some fecking balloons, you know. But yeah, I was.

[B]

How is his Irish? How was his.

[C]

Absolutely beautiful.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

All of us, as we say in the Irish.

[A]

Hey, standing ovation, Mom. Andrew, I can't thank you enough. Just a joy to be with you today.

[C]

Joy to be with you guys too. Thank you so much for having me. Take care.

[A]

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[E]

Hey, let's start a segment. I thought that I knew everything about you, Conan. I discovered back in December that there's a way to distract you from anything.

[A]

Is that true?

[E]

It's true.

[A]

You're being real now.

[E]

I'm being real. This is real. This is the real me.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

And that is to put you in front of a TV and turn on the Hallmark Channel.

[A]

Wait, where were we when this happened?

[E]

In New York.

[A]

That's right.

[E]

It was December. So it was like the Christmas Hallmark movies.

[A]

I have to say, I am powerless around a Hallmark movie. I don't know what it is, but I start watching them, and then I love to call out what people are gonna say. Yeah, and I'm right. A bunch of the time.

[E]

You got it. Like, 90% of the time, I call

[A]

out lines like, now get back here, young man. And then the person will say, now get back here, young man. And it's thrilling. I mean, it's the same high that a gambler in Vegas would get on.

[E]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yes. I get very excited.

[E]

And we were going somewhere, like there was a car picking us up. But we couldn't leave until we found out if this woman quit her job as a lawyer to go build ice sculptures.

[A]

Yes. Well, first of all, we didn't wait to find out what was going to happen.

[E]

That's true.

[A]

We knew what was going to happen. The uptight lawyer is going to realize that the most exciting thing in her life is making ice sculptures with this guy at Christmas time in their little Christmas village. And I knew that was going to happen, but I had to see it happen. It's one of those things where, you know, I had. Have to see that happen. And. And I love how there's no jeopardy. She. Her mom runs the law firm. I love how this is coming back to me instantly.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I'm not kidding. Like, I didn't know you were gonna bring this up. Her mom runs the law firm, and she's dreading telling her mother. Her mother keeps saying, of course, and you're gonna take over the law firm, because that's what. And then she's loving making this ice sculpture with this guy, which I think is a loser thing to do. And anyway, I'm sorry.

[B]

You just burned a lot of ice sculpture.

[A]

This isn't like Timmy Chalamet with. I went very specific with ice sculpture. And if you've got a problem with that ice sculpture, people, you're doubling down.

[B]

I said ice sculpturists, by the way. That was really embarrassing. Can we edit that?

[A]

No, no, no. I want it. I want it. Ice sculptors. Ice sculptors. Isms. Anyway, she has to go to her mom, and you think, oh, this is going to be the real tension in the show. She goes to her mom and says, I just want to make ice sculpture. I don't really. And she said, this is the line I called out. She said. Said, but it was always your dream to be a lawyer. And I shouted out, no, mom, it was your dream. And she went, no, mom, it was your dream. And I. It was an erotic high for me. Oh, I swear to God. I had to go and shower myself off after that.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

I was. I needed.

[B]

David was in the room.

[A]

David was in the room, and he

[C]

saw me go, ew, Conan.

[E]

I tried to call HR but it

[B]

was just a Hallmark.

[C]

We were the only.

[B]

Only person who does that.

[A]

Exactly. This. It was. She said, but that was always your dream, honey. And I shouted, no, mom, it was your dream. And she said, no, mom, it was your dream. Scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub. And then we were off to our obligation. But I needed to see that happen.

[E]

Yeah, that and you've texted Sona and I before. I can't remember what movie it was, but you were like, I saw a commercial for a movie on Lifetime. I need the Lifetime app.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Do you remember this?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I do remember that.

[A]

Oh, I needed my fix. So I'm just. I find it to be endlessly fascinating. I really enjoy. Calms me down. It. It. I just. I'm so happy they have a formula

[E]

and it's clearly working.

[A]

They have a formula.

[B]

Formula.

[A]

The formula is so precise and they never vary from it. Someone's uptight. Someone's in touch with themselves. Uptight person. They don't get along. I mean, whatever. We've seen it a million times.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

They always live in Christmas Town, usa.

[B]

I know, it's a little too G rated for me. I've evolved.

[A]

Now, what about this? What if they could make. And this is something. We have a production company. Maybe we could get into this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

A Hallmark show that has all of those hits, all of those points and is very much like that. But the sex is really down and dirty. I mean, you see everything. A slam it a slam it, a slam it a. A thwab it a wab. You see it all. So it's like. I didn't know you like making ice sculptures. I do make, like ice sculptures. You seemed kind of uptight before. Well, I'm not uptight now.

[B]

Yeah, and it's all like double entendre titles. Like, Christmas Came early and then her name.

[A]

Jesus Christ, Sona.

[E]

She was ready to go.

[A]

You had that right away.

[B]

It was already in there.

[A]

I do think these would do well. Ball marks. Like jingle.

[C]

What?

[B]

Like bald?

[A]

Yeah, like. Yeah, ball. You get bald ball mark. No, no, no, please. Blaze. Can I tell you something? This is really Sona's area. This is not something you jumped in.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[A]

Literally, you were just watching. You were just watching Venus Williams play tennis and you jumped in with a racket. Sona honored Sona does this.

[B]

You sometimes it's not so, like, instead of ball mark, I just say bone mark. But it's not that good.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

But you get the point.

[A]

No, the thing is. But what about this idea? Be serious for a second. An idea where you. It is very G rated. Very. It's the same thing. The people are all. And then. But when it comes to the moment where they start to kiss and you just cut to a curtain blowing, you cut to the curtain blowing, but then you pan back and they are both naked. And I mean, it's just a hot pound sound. It pans over, stops and then pans back. All clothes gone, Oiled up. Shamada, Bamda, Lamida, Hamida. And it just goes on for like 15, 20 minutes.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then they're back to. Well, I think, you know, we got a new someone helping us out at the cuckoo clock store. I thought you were an uptight corporate lawyer. I was, but man, we just went at it and then you pan to the curtain or you can to the cuckoo clock, but then you pan back and everyone in the store is doing it.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah. 19 people. Yeah. The guy that runs the cuckoo clock store, the people buying cuckoo clocks, the guys that make them, they're all naked, banging a. Hanging a wang and a. Banging a.

[E]

What channel will this go?

[A]

Oh, it'll go on any channel that wants to make money. Any channel would want this.

[B]

It's like paper.

[A]

Netflix would take this, wouldn't they?

[B]

No, Netflix, actually, I don't think.

[A]

Oh, they don't do porn.

[B]

It's like straight up pornography.

[A]

What do you.

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

I would say Netflix would definitely do. I don't know who does softcorn.

[B]

I've seen.

[A]

Damn it. What's happened to America? Like, full penetration.

[B]

We want.

[A]

Hey, don't be gross.

[B]

Well, no, it's a valid question.

[A]

I'm not some animal. What? No, I mean, I want it to be very, very, you know, like.

[E]

You just want butts.

[A]

No, what are you talking about?

[B]

It gets into a gray area when we start showing things.

[A]

Yes, well, that's what I'm saying. Well, Isona and I were just wondering because that's covered up with things. Could be covered up with Christmas snow. What I'm saying is I want to see. No, seriously, I want people going at it hardcore. And then, oh, look, some icicles formed near where the penis would be. Or there's some snow. Or, oh, a reindeer wandered in and it's feeding off some acorns right near their crotches. This is a show. This is a format. This is a lot of money. Get on it. Get on it. This is our idea. Don't try and steal it. Peace out, Tupac.

[D]

Conan o' Brien needs a friend. With Conan o', Brien, Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples, engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign [e-mail] Conan and if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[A]

You know what? Yeah, I need lots of data to run this business.

[B]

You're a big data guy.

[A]

I am. People think I'm just a guy at the microphone, phone spouting stuff. I need data. Raw data. Data's at the heart of every organization, but managing it can create friction, risk, and manual work. No one needs that. Everpure transforms static data into a living system, making it intelligent, instantly accessible, secure, energy efficient, and ready to perform. Plus, EverPure's EverGreen subscription automatically delivers the latest innovation and security upgrades. Whether your data is in the cloud, on prem, or at the edge, Everpure makes data management so simple, simple it just feels like second nature.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Tame your data chaos with EverPure. Visit everpuredata.com to learn more. I'm just going to say it There's a Hyundai Hybrid for everyone.

[B]

There sure is.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

The Santa Fe Hybrid SUV seats up to seven. Tucson Hybrid SUV features standard H track all wheel drive. The Sonata Hybrid Limited Sedan has exceptional performance and handling and get up to an EPA estimated 52 highway miles per gallon with the sporty Elantra Hybrid Limited sedan. All Hyundai hybrids come with first class safety features, advanced tech, stellar design and America's Best warranty.

[B]

That's a good one.

[A]

It is a good one. Hard to beat all those stats. America's Best Warranty claims based on total package of warranty programs. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call I'm going to give you a phone number. Write it down.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

562-scribble-314-603 for more detail.