Billie Eilish Returns

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Billie Eilish Returns"

Podcast: Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Host: Conan O'Brien with Sona Movsesian and David Hopping
Guest: Billie Eilish
Release Date: May 11, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this vibrant and playful episode, Conan welcomes Grammy and Oscar-winning sensation Billie Eilish back to the studio. The conversation flows effortlessly through topics ranging from family dynamics and childhood insecurities to the creation of her new concert film "Hit Me Hard and Soft: The Tour Live in 3D"—co-directed with James Cameron. The episode is rich with mutual admiration, offbeat humor, and authentic insights into the peculiarities of fame, artistic vulnerability, and the search for connection with fans and friends alike.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Studio Banter and Warm-Up [01:17–09:38]

• The episode opens with light office humor, including Eduardo’s viral “little bitch” comment directed at Conan (a running joke amongst staff), setting a candid and safe environment.
• Conan jokes about inclusivity and camaraderie in his team, and imagines scenarios about being invited and insulted by his staff in jest.
• Playful banter about food pronunciations ("tacos," "quesadillas") and social outings, with Conan wanting to “hang with the cool kids” in an Entourage-style car.

Notable Quote:

"You create an environment that people feel safe to call you a little bitch in."
— Conan, [03:20]

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Billie’s Return: Catching Up and Family Ties [09:39–18:48]

• Billie recalls loving her first podcast visit:

  "It was the best day ever." — Billie, [10:10]

• Sharing a sweet anecdote: Billie's brother Finneas was jealous he couldn't come, referencing the playful “ban” Conan placed on him in their last chat.
• Reminiscing about her parents joining the last recording, Conan observes their authentic family vibe, contrasting it with his own more reserved Irish upbringing.

Memorable Moment:

“I think you have to be vulnerable if you're gonna sing with other people.”
— Conan, [20:44]

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Childhood, Names, and Insecurities [25:53–33:00]

• Both share their struggles with unique names growing up.

  “The thing I would hear every single time I said my name was, that's a boy's name.”
  — Billie, [26:30]

• Conan wanted to be called Jet Black, while Billie fantasized about being Sparkle or Violet.
• Deep dive into physical insecurities: Conan's freckles, dead front teeth, and height ("you could play Slenderman!")—Billie playfully teases his stature and tight pants.

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On Friendship, Hanging Out, and Bath Tubs [36:27–40:36]

• Billie shares her love for simple pleasures: e-bike rides, swimming, dog walks, and camp-like activities.
• Playful exchange about their mismatched baths and beds due to height/size differences.
• Discussion about competitive games—Billie is very competitive, especially with sports like pickleball, whereas Conan confesses a mild phobia of group games.

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The Concert Film: Collaborating with James Cameron [41:16–47:00]

• Billie details how James Cameron, via her mom (!), reached out to co-direct her 3D concert film.
• Cameron wanted to maintain the integrity of her show, with no interference or “notes”—something Billie deeply appreciated.
• Conan jokes:

  “He did want the concert to hit an iceberg about an hour in. And then he wanted the Na’Vi people to fight the iceberg…”
  — Conan, [44:39]

• Cameron used new, never-before-seen 3D camera technology, making for a surreal filmmaking experience.

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Stadium Silence: Trust With Her Audience [48:05–54:41]

• They discuss a tour ritual where Billie gets a massive arena to fall completely silent, allowing her to loop vocals live without interference.
• Only a handful of times did someone disrupt the silence:

  “Everyone was quiet except this voice: Billie, give me a blow job...and that was in the loop!”
  — Billie, [50:21]

• The mutual respect between Billie and her fans enables these rare, magical moments.

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Intimacy, Boundaries, and Connection with Fans [55:34–62:26]

• Billie reveals her guiding principle: being the artist she always wanted as a fan.
• She prioritizes staying connected to fans, feeling “one” with her audience, and remembering early days meeting every single person post-show.
• Reflects on challenges as her fame soared—physical and emotional boundaries become necessary.
• Conan draws a parallel to comedy, musing on the difference between intimacy in small venues vs. detachment in massive arenas.

Notable Insight:

“I kind of hit a wall where I felt like I lost part of myself a little bit because I'd given so much of it to them.”
— Billie, [62:26]

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Joy, Humor, and Closing Reflections [67:08–68:52]

• Conan expresses pride in Billie both as an artist and as a person, referencing their warm rapport.
• Billie closes with appreciation for the laughter and genuine vibe of the podcast family:

"I was just saying the other day that I just. I live to laugh. And I love when I meet people that live to laugh, you know, Just amazing. I hate people that don't laugh. Just so fucking—can you imagine?"
— Billie, [68:00]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:17] – Studio banter; “little bitch” joke
• [09:39] – Billie returns, memories from prior podcast
• [15:25] – Discussing Billie’s family, Finneas' upcoming marriage
• [18:48] – Family singing, contrast with Conan’s upbringing
• [25:53] – Names and childhood insecurities
• [33:00] – Slenderman, Halloween Horror Nights
• [36:27] – Hanging out, games, competitive streaks
• [41:16] – James Cameron concert film story
• [48:05] – The silent moment in Billie’s arena shows
• [54:41] – Authentic fan connection, the challenge of boundaries
• [67:08] – Conan’s closing praise and Billie’s gratitude

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Memorable Quotes

• Conan, on Billie’s fans:

  "Your fans know you, and they're not knowing this idea of who you are. That's who you are." [53:22]

• Billie, on being a fan’s artist:

  "I wanted to be the artist that I would want to be a fan of...I wanted to do everything that I, when I was 12, used to think, 'Oh, my God, why can't my favorite artists do this?'" [55:34]

• Billie, on connection and boundaries:

  "I don't want to be out of reach, like, physically and, you know, mentally. Like, I want them to feel like I am right there with them." [59:26]

• Conan, on laughter:

  “I hate when people don't laugh because it means I don't get paid.” [68:00]

• Billie, on joy:

  "I was just saying the other day that I live to laugh. And I love when I meet people that live to laugh." [68:00]

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Overall Tone and Vibe

This episode is a delightful blend of warmth, playful teasing, and deeper reflection. Conan and Billie’s chemistry is apparent, with laughter punctuating moments of vulnerability and mutual respect. The conversation delivers candid glimpses into the realities of artistic life and the rare magic of genuine connection—both with fans and, possibly, in the making of new friends.

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For Listeners:

If you enjoy offbeat humor, honest conversation about fame, and a peek behind the creative process—especially in sharing the high-wire act of staying close with your audience as a megastar—this is a must-listen. Billie’s sincerity and Conan’s sharp wit make for a uniquely enjoyable hour.

Key Segment Recommendation:
Jump to [41:16] for Billie’s cinematic story with James Cameron and [48:05] for her poignant reflections on trust and silence with a stadium of fans.

Transcript

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Hi, my name is Billie Eilish and I feel really good about being Conan o' Brien's friend.

[A]

Oh, that's so nice.

[B]

It's true. Fall is here Hear the yell Back to school Ring the bell Brand new

[A]

shoes Walk and loose Climb the fence Books and pens I can tell that we are gonna be friends I can tell that we are gonna be friends hey there. Welcome to Conan O' Brien needs a friend, joined by Sona McCestia and. Hey, Sona.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

And David, of course, hopping hello. And there's been a lot of chatter, I guess, online about Eduardo because Eduardo just, I guess this episode just dropped where he called me a little bitch. And Eduardo, let's talk about this, people. It's blowing up. People are loving it that you called your employer a little bitch. And, and you today, when it was all blowing up, admitted to me that you were a little rattled afterwards. I was. I, I, I remember it happening. And I remember going home and talking to my wife. She'll ask, how was work today? I was like, you know, kind of weird. And she said, what do you mean? And she knows the hijink. She's seen some of the videos. And I said, today I think I went a little too far. And she said, what did you say? I said, I called Conan a little bitch. She just started laughing. Oh, she tried. Oh. She didn't say, oh, my God, that's too far. She just started laughing. Well, you know, I looked into it and apparently. And I consulted my doctor and I talked to family. I am a little bit. So you are on safe ground. You feel better? No, no, no. You. You. Yeah. It just felt weird, you know, to. I'm not used to being. It didn't feel just right in every way. It was a candid moment. Yeah, but that's what makes it work.

[B]

It wasn't weird for you at all?

[A]

No.

[B]

Really? Because I don't know how you guys felt, but I was like, oh, whoa. Eduardo went there. Nobody else felt that.

[A]

When you say went there, it sounds like he visited a place that we all know about. He said the thing that we're all thinking like it's the emperor's new clothes. No, I wasn't. I think that's how I. I think you matched my self image. I think you mirrored how I felt. And I just. So. I just felt like I was getting into perfect. I was stepping into a bath. That was perfect. Human body temperature. That's how it felt to me. You create an environment that people feel safe to call you a little bitch in. Yes. Yeah. Hey, watch it. You know, you. You have to be careful.

[B]

Yeah. Is it cuz Eduardo is it. Is he the only one who could

[A]

say that to you? Eduardo has. Yeah, Eduardo has all kinds of cred. He's like the coolest guy here.

[B]

Yeah, that's cool.

[A]

And he designed the studio and he's, you know, he. He's not thirsty at all. He doesn't need praise. He's just this guy. He's just Eduardo. He knows he's good. So when he says something that has a certain ring of truth.

[B]

Just insulted everybody in here.

[A]

Well, yeah,

[B]

except for you. I know.

[A]

By praising him.

[B]

It really is like you're the only person in here.

[A]

It's Eduardo. And then just a collection of the worst people I've ever seen. So. No. You hired every single person in this room. I didn't hire you. Sona hired you. That's true. Thanks. I don't even think I hired Sona anymore. I was interviewing her, she offered me a drink. I blacked out. And she was my assistant.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Roofied me. And then you became my assistant. Yeah, but sign papers. Yes, Many papers. But yeah, I do think if. Adam, if you called me a little bitch, it would. It would upset me, you know, if you said, like, we're going to do this dynamic ad insertion and, uh, it's a new policy. It's serious. I'd be like, well, I don't think I want to do that. You'd be like, what are you, a little. I'd be upset, you know, Blay, if you said, hey, little bitch.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'd be freaked out. I would physically assault you and David. That just would be a huge mistake coming from you to call me a little bitch. Oh, you know, in what context would you say it? Oh, let's think of a context. You'd say, oh, you'd say, hey, I'm going to see Hilary Duff tonight.

[B]

And.

[A]

And for the seventh night in a row, I'm going to see her. And then I'm following her to. She's taking a vacation, and I'm following her and her family. Oh, my God, I know where she's staying. That kind of thing. But if you said, hey, I'm going to go see a show tonight, and I have an extra. I have a third ticket because Dustin and I are going. But Conan, you can come too. And I said, I don't know. It's kind of late, and I don't think that's my scene, so I don't think I'll go. And it's like, fuck you, you little bitch. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

Well, wait a minute. Why'd you add fuck you?

[B]

My go.

[A]

That means too far. That's way too far.

[B]

Jesus, what the hell? I thought it would.

[A]

I thought it would be like a new personality for me. That was awful. That was not. You little. No, that's not how you do it. Nobody like him go to town.

[B]

He did. I think you gave him license to vent.

[A]

And then he vented.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Jesus. 10 years of working out. What if we. What if your mom heard that? What, would you need to bleep that? Is that true? Yeah. She'd be upset, right? Disappointed in me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Good woman, your mom. Yeah. Remember when I sent her flowers? That was really nice because she taught me how to help you with your contacts. Yeah. We did a zoom. And she taught me how to put contact lenses in. Over. Zoom.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And as I was talking to her, corn grew into the window behind her. That's how fast corn grows around your house there in Southern. Southern Chicago. Illinois. Whatever. And anyway. And it was like. And then the corn went. I'll help, too. Wash your hands first. What the fuck? Yeah. Talking corn in southern Illinois, that teaches you how to put contact lenses in on the phone. Exactly.

[B]

Got it. Okay.

[A]

So anywho. Yeah. She'd be upset if she heard you talk that way. To me. But no, you just got mad props from me for, you know, what you. You. It was. I think it. It came out of your face because it was so right for you to say it in that moment. Testament to you. I. I talked to some of my friends like that, so I just felt very comfortable, you know, to say. So. Can I start hanging with you and your crew? Maybe. What do you guys do when you hang with your friends? Where do you go? Depends on what we're doing. I got different friends for different things. Do you ever just drive around in that car that the Entourage guys had? No. No, I don't do that. Suicide doors. Yeah, I used to do that Lincoln Continental. Just hang out, watch the game. Watch the game. Golf. I want to drive around town with you and your friends, and I want to rent the same car they used in Entourage. Let's do it. Can we do that sometime? Let's do it. And can we. Where are you going to go and play that pit bull song on?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Back in, Back in time. Men in Black soundtrack. Oh, God.

[B]

What are you guys going to do? And where are you going to go?

[A]

Drive around, be seen by people. Okay. Just cruise. Yeah, cruise. You just cruise.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And. Yeah. And then every now and then, we stop off and we get. What do we eat? Some burgers maybe. Okay. Some tacos. No. Why'd you say tacos?

[B]

Aim higher. He's gonna pay you.

[A]

Get some, like, steak at Michelin restaurant. You put a little. You put a little string. Tacos. What do you want me to say? You didn't say tacos the way I say it. You said it. Tacos. Tacos.

[B]

Why would he say it the way you say it?

[A]

But if I switched it. If I switched it and. And said tacos that way, would you be offended? Like, it was great. Yes. You'd be okay with it if I was like, yeah, I'm going to get some mayonnaise, and then I'll get some ice cream and some tacos. Yes. You're okay with that? Yes. That's cool. I'm gonna start doing that.

[B]

Yeah, maybe with a lot of words like quesadillas and stuff.

[A]

Don't say it that way. Yeah, don't say it like that. Yeah, Quesadillas. Exactly.

[B]

Your voice is going lower, too. You're trying to be Eduardo.

[A]

Quesadillas.

[B]

That's what you're doing. You're trying to be Eduardo.

[A]

Right. Every now and then I like to have. Sometimes I like to have some starbursts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then I like to have some Fanta yummy, yummy, yummy out of a can.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then some tacos.

[B]

It's perfect.

[A]

All right, you can hang with us, you know. Yeah, I'm going to. We're going to hang. We're going to drive around, like Entourage.

[B]

My God.

[A]

And occasionally get a taco. My guest today is a Grammy Award winning singer songwriter whose new concert movie, Billie Eilish hit me hard and soft. The Tour Live in 3D is out now and this incredible person was on the show once before. We had a blast. She's back. And I'm thrilled. Billie Eilish, welcome. We had such a good time last time you were here.

[B]

It was the best day ever.

[A]

That's a little crazy.

[B]

I loved it. I really loved it.

[A]

Okay, but best day ever means you've had a tragic life. By definition, one of my favorite days.

[B]

I loved it so much. Finneas was so upset yesterday. We were in the studio and he had seen my calendar and he was like, are you doing Conan tomorrow? And I was like, yeah, he was really upset. He was like, can I. I know I don't have anything to do with the movie, but please, you know. Anyway, so he really.

[A]

I don't know if you remember, this is a little awkward, but I. Last time, towards the end of the podcast, I said, billy, you're welcome back anytime. And then I. I don't know what got into it, but I turned to Phineas. Do you remember this? Yes. And I was like, you shall never be here again. It was weird.

[B]

It was very weird and uncalled for.

[A]

Uncalled for?

[B]

Really uncalled for.

[A]

No, I love Phineas. He's welcome here any. But I'm so thrilled that you are here today.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

The first thing that comes to my mind, I might have mentioned this last time. I think this woman has magical eyes. Look at those eyes there. I mean, you must get this all the time, but what do you mean? No, but I'm saying, like, her eyes are stunning, Lia. But also, it looks like you can look into other worlds with those eyes. I don't have eyes like that. I have, like, suspicious, creepy eyes. You have, like, artist eyes that look out and see. See new worlds. And then I'm like, hi, Billy, how's it going? Gollum. The ring. The ring. Precious. And you're just. There's so much right. Am I wrong?

[B]

Yeah, I have. No, you're right. They're both blue. Both your eyes are blue. But you're right, they are observations.

[A]

They're better eyes. Say it it's okay.

[B]

You have beautiful eyes, too, though. Conan.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Thank you for the. So sweet and ridiculous.

[A]

Okay, here's what I was thinking about today. All right? This is what I'm thinking about. You know, just. I'm going to embarrass you for a second, but the statistics are insane. 44 Hot 100 hits, 10 Grammys, two Oscars. And I had this feeling today, it's time to get out, get a Hyundai dealership in the Valley. Billy's Hyundais. That's a good car. That's a good ring to it. A Hyundai. You know what I mean?

[B]

It does, yeah.

[A]

Now, listen, your team, you came with a big team. They're going to be mad. It's time to get out. They're trying to open the door now. And. Yeah. Bolted the door so they can't get in. They're, like, smashing at the lock. I just think. Just think about it, okay? You with a car dealership, I think you'd be. You do great.

[B]

I do love cars. I. Why did you think of that? What made you think.

[A]

I think the Hyundai is a solid car, but why? I'm just trying to get a free Hyundai now.

[B]

Because they sponsor on our show.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

They sponsor on this.

[A]

Oh, is that true? I don't even know that.

[B]

Say Hyundai so many times that turn.

[A]

I just love the way it rolls off the tongue. Hyundai, Hyundai. I'm looking for that car.

[B]

What do you. What are the, like, ads you have to do for podcast? When people listen.

[A]

They used to be. When we started out, it was really fun because they were these. And listen, I love these products. I really do. But it would be like a company. There was a company called Fracture. I'm sure it still is. And they would take. Let's say you had a nice picture of you and Phineas together. You would take it to Fracture and they would send it back to you and it would be etched into glass. My God. And so I used to do these long runs where I would say, the other day, someone showed me a picture of my grandmother on paper and I ripped it up. Because if it's not on glass, I want nothing to do with it. You have to have Fracture prints. So those are the early days. Then when the podcast got big, suddenly it's these products that are harder and harder to kind of have the same fun with. Except. Luxe bidet. Oh, God. Lux bide.

[B]

What the hell is that?

[A]

Luxe bidet. It's a bidet bidet. And. Oh, well, yeah, I think, you know What a bidet is? Oh, yeah. Okay. You've been around. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Love me a good bidet.

[A]

They would write the most embarrass copy. And it was stuff like, you know, after a big Thanksgiving meal, you can do some real damage. There's always to mislead you. And it was. And I didn't know. I started to read it before I knew what it was. So it's on the Internet. Where is it? Where can you see this ad on YouTube. You can see it's on YouTube. And I lost my mind also the second they did. We. We love the Lux bidet people so much. They actually wrote an ad where it started with a fake ad for like a burrito company. Right. And so it's burritos. And then he's like, oh, my God, is this a Lux bidet? No. It were tricking me. They were baiting me. But wow. Yes. I've humiliated myself many times with Everton. But we're not here to talk about the Lux bidet.

[B]

I'm like, which Out.

[A]

How happy. Can I just say one thing? How happy is Lux bidet and Fracture right now that one of the biggest music stars in the world is here and we're talking about their products and not getting paid. Yeah. I just wanted to say that. Well, I want to start by asking about your family. How is Finneas? How's he doing?

[B]

He's doing great.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

He's doing great. He's getting married in August.

[A]

Okay. And do we. Do we like this person?

[B]

We love her. Her name is Claudia. She's wonderful. They've been together like seven years. And yeah, it's fucking awesome. I'm very excited.

[A]

Okay. Are you going to participate in this festivity at all, or is that a secret? You can't say.

[B]

Probably is a secret, but yes, I'm very excited.

[A]

Oh, cool.

[B]

Yeah, so he's. He's really good. We're like in the middle of making an album, which is interesting because the last time I came here, the only time I came here was like three years ago, almost to the day.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

And it was also in the middle of an album process. And it was actually. I was thinking about this, like, yesterday. It was the day that we made Birds of a Feather. When we came here, it was like the morning after we had written the beginning of it. Oh, my God. And I remember coming in here and going into that room. You and I were just in talking, and I remember, like, seeing some team members. Cause all of my team was here for that. Cause they were so excited That I was gonna be doing this. Everyone on my whole label came. And I remember walking in there and going, like, I think we made a really cool song. It's called Birds of a Feather, and I remember playing it for them. So with that being said, that's really. Isn't that.

[A]

But can I say one thing? This is how I remember it.

[B]

We literally left to go finish it.

[A]

Anyway, this is how I remember that.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You came in and you were there with Phineas, and I said, you guys seem to be really tight. And you went, we are really tight. And I said, it's almost like you're birds of a feather. Oh, my God. I knew. And this is what I recall very distinctly. Billy, you said, birds of a feather. Hey, there's something there. And I said, yeah, maybe an A minor. Remember this? And then you said, great idea. And you said, let's split the royalties. And I said, okay, let's talk. And then it never happened. I wrote Birds of a Feather.

[B]

Nice try there.

[A]

Anyway, that's how I remember it.

[B]

Look at that hair. Look at that flesh hair.

[A]

This hair is everywhere. And you know what it is? I left it.

[B]

Did you blow? Did you.

[A]

No, I didn't do anything. This is called. Yeah, I went to a dry bar today and got my hair blown out because I'm going to prom. No, I. I let it get a little long to the Oscars, and then I haven't cut it. And that was, like, two and a half weeks ago. And so what happens is it gets to this point where it's perfect, and then if it goes, like, a centimeter more, it goes. And that's boring.

[B]

But did you do it yourself?

[A]

I didn't do anything. It's just. This is me.

[B]

No way. This is your natural hair?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I didn't. I didn't. It won't play the same way it usually does where I can get my cool. I call it cool wave in it. Now, it won't do that because it's too long, and it's just a big, floppy mess.

[B]

It's not.

[A]

That looks like a haystack.

[B]

No, it looks wonderful.

[A]

All right, well, I'm gonna stick with this now. Okay? But here's what I also remember. I remember your parents were here, and there was such. There was such a good vibe. And I was talking to your parents for a while, and I felt so good because I thought, this is a real family. Like, this is not. Okay. Let's pretend to be a real family so we can make it through this podcast. You guys Were here for quite a while. You wouldn't leave.

[B]

Nope.

[A]

I remember. Yeah. And I mean, Lily, for like, an hour late, hour later, I think you guys were still hanging out in the kitchen. It was really fun. It was an.

[B]

It was a happy telling you.

[A]

But your parents were very cool and kind of, in a great way, unaffected by it all. Like, they seemed like, these are people that just want their kids to be happy. Then I find out I was reading some interview you did somewhere where you said, oh, when we drive places together, we all sing songs. You said, we're like a family from the 1950s or in a corny movie. Is that true?

[B]

It was true. Growing up. I probably said it, like, in a past tense, you know, like we did growing up. We're not usually all in a car together singing.

[A]

Like, I like that image that. That now at this point in your career, you too, will be like, well, no, you and your folks and your brother will get into a car together. And I'm thinking a station wagon from the late 70s.

[B]

Yeah, no, that's. That really makes us sound.

[A]

Row, row your boat.

[B]

Literally. But yes. And you know what?

[A]

Sorry.

[B]

Cracked himself up.

[A]

I'm sorry. I cracked myself up. And that means someone's always laughing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Was there a time when you would do that? Because my family never did that, ever. There was no joyous singing.

[B]

Was there? Joyous anything?

[A]

We love to be around a ham. Chewing it, swallowing it, too. Or, like, just chewing it and spitting it out. Like, birds hanging off of, like. We all had a different. We sat at a round table, and each one, there was a ham. There were six hams on six ropes for each kid. And we would just go. But no, there was a lot of laughter.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But there was no, you know, singing along or doing harmonies or anything. You can't imagine my dad doing that. You cannot imagine your dad.

[B]

We weren't following. It was more. It was more like listening to music in the car and all of us singing along. More like that. And the only reason I probably said it like that is because my childhood friend used to comment on, like, how kind of, like, surreal it was to be around our family, because we were all singing all the time, like, singing and, like, harmonizing with each other and listening to music constantly. Playing music, playing guitar and piano and, like. So, yes, music was always being played. But we grew up in the most musical family ever.

[A]

Well, I think you have to be vulnerable if you're gonna sing with other people. And I don't think in our family, we were vulnerable. We would've let ourselves be that vulnerable. I'm not even kidding. I think it was all about, I guess, Irish people there being, like, super well defended and then making jokes and everyone laughs. But if someone was to start singing, the rest of us would have started throwing things at them. You know what I mean? So maybe I want it to be fala lying with my parents and my brothers and sisters. You know? It's funny. Yeah. I mean, I do my version. What would you say, David or Sona?

[B]

I think you say.

[A]

I think you have a great voice. Yeah. Well, I feel like you play music. I kind of play. I play guitar, and I love to do, like, rockabilly stuff. That kind of. So, yeah, that's my thing. You did a Newport Folk Festival show not too long ago.

[B]

Oh, my God. Well, what the hell?

[A]

All right, well.

[B]

So your family didn't sing or play music, did they? This. Did they. Were they playing music?

[A]

No, there were very few records in our house, and the records there were. Were comedy records. But my parents didn't have, you know. Yeah, but we didn't. We were not. And then later on, we started getting our own records when we were teenagers and. But my parents didn't have, like, a big record collection or anything. There just wasn't. We weren't that kind of people.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So I would have not fit in with your family. Well, I would have been in the way back at the station wagon going, what's going on? La, la, la. I'm told it's important to treat your employees well. I'm not sure I'm ready to do that yet, but word has it it's a good thing to do.

[B]

It is.

[A]

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[B]

You're really. You're in charge of all that stuff?

[A]

Wow. That was not helpful.

[B]

It really wasn't.

[A]

But whatever. Whatever you're doing, JustWorks offers 24. 7 support from an actual human. Hello, Actual human. No. Bleep, bleep, blurp, blurp. That means you can hire and manage talent without juggling multiple platforms or hidden fees. And get your team access to premium benefits like health insurance, 401k, and commuter perks. That's what I'm talking about.

[B]

Yeah, baby.

[A]

You are really adding nothing. And with transparent pricing, you always know what you're paying for. Go to justworks.com to learn more. They do your human resources right. So you can do right by your people. Justworks for your people. Hey, this summer, if your group chat's thrown around, we should get away. Consider Scottsdale, Arizona. Yeah, sure, it's warm, but that's kind of the point, isn't it? Cause summer in Scottsdale comes with some very cool perks like luxury resort rates starting at just one $9 a night. For a luxury resort? Yeah, sign me up. Ease into your trip and get your zen on with sunrise yoga, evening stargazing and generous summer specials at area spas. Area spas? Sign me up. Or book a sunrise tee time at a world famous golf course at rates way less than usual. Plus, summer is the easiest time to land a reservation at Scottsdale's award winning restaurants. You know, the ones people usually humble brag about getting into. Do you ever do that?

[B]

Yeah, I sure do.

[A]

I'm like, yeah, I got out of that resort. Sure I did.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No shortage of indoor air conditioned spots to visit. Museums, boutiques, art galleries in the southwest. Largest shopping mall I've driven through Scottsdale. It's very nice there.

[B]

I like Scottsdale. It's fun, it's a good time.

[A]

Visit summerinscotsdale.com and start planning your trip. If you're trying to be more intentional about what you wear day to day, Quince can help with that. They got pieces that feel easy, comfortable and still put together. The fabrics feel elevated and the fits are clean. Think 100% European linen shorts and shirts from $34. Lightweight, breathable and comfortable. Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than what you'd find at similar brands. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middleman. I love it when they cut out the middleman. I hate the middleman. Yeah. So you're getting premium material without the markup blay. You've been quincing it up lately. I have. I got three of these 100% European linen relaxed short sleeve shirts. And it's getting warmer outside. And these are breathable. They fit me really well. I've noticed you've looked better lately. Thank you. And no slam on how you used to look. When I first met you, you were a mess. And now that you're wearing quints, your game has jumped nine levels. That's right. Thank you very much. And they're extremely comfortable and I love them a lot. Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to Quint.com Conan for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Quince Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Conan for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Conan. We have something in common, which is I don't think you liked your name growing up, and I didn't like my name growing up. Let's talk about that.

[B]

Let's talk about that. Well, tell me about yours.

[A]

Well, it's Conan.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And that didn't fly when I was a kid.

[B]

Why? Why?

[A]

Had never heard it before. It was before the Conan the Barbarian comics really caught on so early on. People were like, conan, what's that? And then once the Barbarian movies started to come out, I swear to God, everyone was like, conan, what are you, the Barbarian? Where's your sword? And it was, you know, about 15 years of that.

[B]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

Yeah. And so no wonder I didn't want to be vulnerable when I was singing. What about you?

[B]

Well, for me, it was. I. Same thing. Like, nobody had heard it, except if they had heard it. The thing that I would hear every single time I said my name was, that's a boy's name. You know, every time I talk to any child. Also, like. Like, even adults would say. Other kids would say. They'd just be like, billy's a boy's name, but isn't Billy a boy's name? And, you know, kids are like little assholes. So they're gonna be like, that's a boy. You know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that really pissed me off also, because I was like, I really wanted to be everything girly as a kid. Like, as a kid, I loved, you know, all the things a little girl loves. I loved my princess things and my pink things and whatever. And so Billie just didn't make sense. But in hindsight, I mean, first of all, I love my name. And I wonder how you feel about your name now.

[A]

I like it. I think I grew into it, and I think that's what has to happen with your name sometimes. What is the name that you would have wanted?

[B]

I can tell you.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Sparkle. I wanted to be named Sparkle. But more realistically.

[A]

Hey, me too.

[B]

More realistically, I wanted to be named Violet. Really bad. I really wanted to be named Violet. I wanted to be named Lavender. Oh, wow. I knew a girl named Flower. Like, very specific theme.

[A]

Sure. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, also, I. My, like, this is such a homeschooly vibe. But my mom, when she was pregnant with me, like, Phineas was 4 or 3, and he would call the belly, which I was in, Pirate. He'd be like, I want pirate to come out. So they had Named me Pirate, like, as a kind of whatever. And they were thinking and considering naming me Pirate o' Connell because this.

[A]

Because this childhood.

[B]

Pirate's a badass thing. Pirate as a girl. But yes, it would have been a little tough and also bully central, I feel like. But at the same time would have been cool. But I am really glad, in hindsight, I'm not named Pirate. That's some LA shit. That is some serious LA homeschooler shit.

[A]

Someone named Pirate is listening right now.

[B]

Yeah, literally.

[A]

Sorry. If you're listening right now and your name is Pirate or Sparkle, but Conan. Apologies.

[B]

Don't you. You feel like this? Because I feel like there's. First of all, I love my name. And also, I can't imagine any. Any other name for myself at all.

[A]

I mean, now I just turned it into. I don't know what I did or. You know, sometimes I think that the name can also help influence you a little bit. And so if it made you feel in any way when you're really young, if it made you feel a little unbalanced or. I don't really love this. Maybe that's a good thing to have if you want to be artistic when you're early on. So it's possible that these names help us or we grow into them and they grow into us. And so I wouldn't change anything now, but I really did go through a number of years where I also wanted jet black hair. Like, you know, I wanted like jet black hair and I wanted my name to be like.

[B]

I thought you were gonna say I wanted my name to be Jet Black.

[A]

Well, I would have taken that, too. Yeah, that would have been a good name. The name's Black. Jet Black. What do you do? I'm a podcaster. See, that's not too cool. Yeah, I would have gone with Jet Black.

[B]

That's what you wanted your name to be.

[A]

I don't. I just thought, you know, I used to look at sort of the conventional people that were on television or movies, whether it's, you know, from Elvis movies or Bob Crane from Hogan's Heroes or like any of these people that have, like just black hair and they've got that conventional good looking face. And I was like, that's how I should look.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And what is it with this crazy reddish coif? Why do I have this weird name? Why do I have freckles? I hated having freckles, you know? Yeah, true.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I had. My two front teeth were dead. Cause I fell in the driveway and they were dead for a while. Like they died. Like they turned gray. And our dentist was like, wait till your other teeth show up. Just leave them. So I went around like, hi, you look real pretty. I had two gray front teeth. I've got freckles.

[B]

Were you also ridiculously tall then, too?

[A]

No, no, no. I got tall super fast.

[B]

At least you didn't have that also.

[A]

But wait, Billy, I have it now.

[B]

Yes, but you're famous and it's like

[A]

mine, so I'm like Frankenstein. You're famous Frankenstein. Be happy.

[B]

But you don't have the missing front teeth and the weird, you know, hating of yourself.

[A]

Well, I still have that.

[B]

Okay, fair.

[A]

But, you know, fair. You should hate yourself. Thanks for admitting that you have a

[B]

serious gift, which is this height of yours, and that you could play a really scary guy. You could play. You could be. Stand up.

[A]

Okay. This is humiliating.

[B]

This fucking guy. Look at this, look at this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Fucking break. This is crazy.

[A]

Wait, so what am I? Am I Frankenstein? Am I?

[B]

No. You could be Slenderman. Don't you think?

[A]

I do. I can see him.

[B]

You know, Slenderman.

[A]

You come in here and you're like, oh, Conan is so talented. Oh, really? My humor, My wit. No, you're freakish sized. You could be Slenderman.

[B]

You have such an opportunity. You have such an amazing opportunity. You could be so scary. Dude, dude, dude. You could. It's during October this year. You should come here. You should wear something spooky and you should scare these people.

[A]

Okay, this is what I'm gonna do. We're gonna contrive a way. I will. I will do it. And we just have to figure out a way that I creep up on you in the background as Slenderman.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you know what I mean? We just have to figure that out. We'll do that.

[B]

Play like a skin walker. I mean, your pants are tight already. Just get some tighter pants. They barely need to be very much tighter.

[A]

What are you talking about? Your pants are that tight.

[B]

Your pants are so tight.

[A]

These are tight pants. Are they? They're very tight.

[B]

They're very tight.

[A]

He wore jeggings once. Maybe he goes back to jeggings. The Kardashians dared me to wear jeggings, I think, didn't they? And I wore jeggings.

[B]

You did wear jeggings.

[A]

Yeah. That was horrible. There's a reason my children don't talk to me.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

Okay, so that's great. What an ego boost for me.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

My career is going places because Billie Eilish says I could be slender or any freakishly tall Monster.

[B]

You really could play such a good

[A]

monster or a zombie and just don't moisturize for a day. And I could play the undead. All right, you heard it here first. I'll be showing up at a Halloween theme park near you.

[B]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Have you guys been to Halloween Horror Nights by chance? Yes. Okay.

[A]

Yes, I've done Halloween.

[B]

It traumatized me.

[A]

Why did it traumatize you?

[B]

Well, I went when I was like, I was younger. Did you go recently? I go every year, girl. You do? Yeah, of course I go. Halloween Horror Nights is no joke. Like, they're legit makeup. The actors are really into it. They chase you.

[A]

They'll like, chase you out of a house with a chainsaw.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. It's gotten more. It's gotten more pg. Oh, that's weak. Sorry. It's just not. They don't really chase you like they used to. They kind of just stand there and go, you know, and that's it. But anyway, if you've gone recently, they do this thing to kind of make it like a more 4D experience where they. They like pump scent in certain rooms. Like, really gross scent to make you really overwhelmed with the grossness of the. So, like, if you walk into one of the, you know, rooms during the maze and it's like bunch of sliced up people and whatever, and it'll smell like this like, rotting person smell. It's disgusting. It's amazing. I love it. But I. I'm not even gonna. I'm gonna say bless her soul. And I'm not gonna put this woman and shout this woman out, but I was somewhere doing something and I was with this woman, and she smelled exactly like the Horror Nights scent. And she kept like, I know this woman, right? And she was leaning over, I was sitting. She was leaning over and she was, you know, doing things. And I was literally like. And I. And because I'm me and I don't think really before I say things, I almost was like, you know, you smell exactly like the Halloween Horror night smell.

[A]

Like a rotting court bodies.

[B]

But so, yeah, so like. And I was texting everyone else in the room, like, doesn't this bitch smell like the rotting corpse scent that they spray?

[A]

I think we can tell people it's Joy Behar from the View. Always smelled like rotting meat. And I love her. I love you, Joy. There's no one funnier. But no one will tell her to her face.

[B]

Face. Wait, is this true?

[A]

No, I'm just. No. This is how rumors get started.

[B]

Yeah, but like, the first thing I notice is smell. So if you stink once forever, that's how I will think of you.

[A]

I took seven baths before you got here.

[B]

Oh, do you take baths? You can't fit into a bath?

[A]

No, I don't. I have terrible. I feel terribly about myself now. When did you become a freak? At what age did you become a freak? You can't have a bath. Does the U.S. army have to make you a bathtub and bring it in with helicopters? Oh my God. What are you talking about?

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

No, I do not take a lot of baths because my knees always stick up.

[B]

So.

[A]

She was right. I am. You're right. I'm insulted. And you're right.

[B]

I'm very short and I have an enormous bath and I can barely fit in the fucking bath.

[A]

We should trade bathtubs. We should trade bathtubs.

[B]

Let's do it. That's why. I will say that's why I brought it up. Cuz I cannot fit in my bathtub.

[A]

So you're not here to promote anything. You're here to find out if my bathtub fits. Cuz yours doesn't and mine doesn't and we're going to switch.

[B]

I literally drown in that.

[A]

These are the problems that you have to face.

[B]

Do you fit into your bed?

[A]

Well, my wife is there too, somewhere. It's a pretty good sized bed.

[B]

Like shack. Shack beds, right?

[A]

No, I don't have a shack bed. I'm a human being. I don't have a shack bed. We have one of those things you see in the Poconos that has a giant. It's a giant heart and it rotates every night. I put rose petals on it and I go, liza, my dear. And she's like, no. So no, we have a big bed, but yeah, we fit in our beds. And I am allowed to drive a conventional car. I wish it was a Hyundai, but apparently it's not. Okay, I want to talk about. You said something else. I was reading because I was reading up on you. I was like, okay, I want to have some good topics. And you were talking about how you really enjoy hanging out. Just like hanging out. And I was wondering what is a good hang for Billie Eilish? What's a good hang for you? What do you like to do if it's you and your friends and you're just hanging out?

[B]

I love to go on bike rides so much. Just a. And with an electric bike. I'm not doing any kind of working out really with the bikes because also I live in a very Hilly area, so it's a lot of up and down.

[A]

I'm a big believer in E bikes. I think they're cool.

[B]

I love an E bike, and I use this company called Super 73, which is these, like, big, bulky. It's amazing. I love going on bike rides. I love going on a dog walk. I love swimming in my pool. I love specifically, like, any kind of activity that, like, you might find at, like, a kid's summer camp. Like, any kind. Like, on tour, we'll be, like, in the most beautiful place in the world. And I'm like, can we please go to a water park or can we go to a ropes course or a trampoline farm or. Like, we did a lot of. We did a few, like, glass blowing classes and pottery making classes. Well, that sounds like I love activities.

[A]

You like activities? I like. An activity I don't love that much is playing a game sometimes because it triggers some part of my brain that gets worried, you know, if I'm playing a game that I'll misremember the rules or I'll screw up. I know it's a problem. I need to get over that.

[B]

Do you like any games or no?

[A]

That's a good question.

[B]

This is interesting.

[A]

No, I don't know. I don't. I think I'm just not a games person. And people will say to me, hey, let's play this. I mean, I do games on my own, like puzzles or crosswords or things like that, but when it's a group of people and they say, hey, let's break out this board game and play, I'm kind of a little phobic about it. Yeah, I don't know what that is.

[B]

My thing is, I get.

[A]

Oh, you are. She's crazy.

[B]

I have, like, loose friends. Same. But I like that. So you. So that's interesting, because I love games and I'm ridiculously competitive, but. So you, you don't like games? Cause you're really competitive. Cause I, I, I don't know if you just get too real for you about. Yeah, it gets too real. Right. And if anybody on my team is just dragging us down. Right. I just want to. That I don't want to relate.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I've seen her. She's one of those.

[A]

She's one of those people that just in a blink of an eye, sees red.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And descends into madness.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We're talking about games.

[B]

You're talking about life. Yeah.

[A]

I'm just saying. Oh. I was saying, you're like a Jekyll Hyde, you're a. I think you're a murderer.

[B]

Yeah, no, I cross over, you know.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

What about, like, sport type games? Because we play a lot of, like, pickleball, and I get. I'm very competitive with. With sports activities. Same. No, I'm competitive too. Are you not competitive? You're not competitive?

[A]

I'm competitive. I try and hide it, but then I'm very competitive.

[B]

I feel like that's part. I can't play.

[A]

I can't play pickleball because I think I'm too tall. And this fits into your whole idea that I don't fit in this world, but you gotta bend over and play. Take these different shots. And I think I wasn't meant for this planet.

[B]

I feel like you. It would help you because you're so tall. I mean, literally. We were playing yesterday and Phineas laughed really hard because I and our friend Lucy, we were both very short and we were both just playing one on one. And he cracked up because he was like, you both are so fucking short that you have to step so many times to get to each side. I have to literally run full speed.

[A]

He can't short shame you. That's wrong.

[B]

He sure can.

[A]

Well, I'm gonna. And maybe I'll only lift the ban on Phineas coming in here. If he apologizes to you, he's banned. He's banned until he apologizes for mocking you. I know which side to take here.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

Okay, so let's talk about the movie, because the movie's out now.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I have a little note that says when this drops, the movie will have been out for a day. Well, people sure love the movie. Wink. But hit me hard and soft. This movie is stunning to me for a couple of reasons. One, you co directed this with James Cameron. That's insane.

[B]

I know.

[A]

To have him direct it is insane. But then to get a. To be a co director with this guy is nuts. It's great.

[B]

It was also his idea to have that. That be the case, which is insane. Like, he. The way it came about is my mother, like, met him through something else. And then, like, one day came over and was like, oh, by the way, James Cameron emailed me. And I. Super casual.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But also, like, we have a whole team of people whose job it is.

[A]

Your mom can get through all this level of.

[B]

Literally people. I'm just like. He emailed you?

[A]

Yeah. Your mom booked you on this podcast. Your team was like, don't do Conan. And then your mom's like, go over to Conan.

[B]

Oh, God, so real. But anyway, she was like, yeah, James Cameron emailed me saying he wanted to, like, asking if you would be interested in him filming your movie and putting it out as a. Or filming your concert and putting it out as a movie in 3D. Like, that was the ask. Not even ask. Like, just like, interesting.

[A]

At all.

[B]

Like, at all. And obviously I thought that's the most insane, unbelievable thought even at all. I was like, what? Yeah. And then I got on the phone with him and we just, like, talked about it and what was so special to me. I've filmed concert films before and they've been amazing. I've done documentaries. It's all amazing. And honestly, it is a lot of work and I was not planning on doing that for this. And the tour was like, coming to an end in a few months. And like, I remember feeling like, oh, this is sad that I'm not gonna have this show a document. Yeah, I was really feeling like, oh, that's kind of sad, but also like, what am I gonna do? You know, It's. I'm not gonna film it. I'm not. There's nothing really. I don't have any ideas for something anyway. So it was kind of perfect, obviously. It's also an insanely incredible thing and opportunity. But I was also like, like, yeah, I want to be able to watch this show forever. This is like my favorite show I've ever done. And I was so proud of it and felt just so good up there. And it's just. It was just a really good show. And I. I'm like, I was so excited. So that's like the beginning of it. And then, like, he wanted to co direct it with me. We met, he came to my show in Australia and then. And one of the. The biggest parts of the process that's been really special to me is I, like, when I first started talking to him, I said very flat out, like, I have no interest in changing the show at all for this. I don't wanna modify anything. I don't wanna hear any notes like, I love you, you're amazing. But. And he kind of had already made that clear. Like he felt the exact same way. And I really was, like, surprised by that. He was like, no, I don't wanna change anything.

[A]

He did want the concert to hit an iceberg about an hour in. He's just. He's stuck. And then he wanted the Na' Vi people to come in and fight the iceberg. But I'm glad you got him off that because he's. He's so stuck. I know. But here's the amazing thing. He always, he always loves to. And he did this with Titanic, he did it with the Avatar films. He always likes to bring this new technology to it. And I'm imagining that. I think that's part of what he's doing here. Totally is. I would think he would say, like, wait, I've got, I've got a camera that I can use. It's never been used because I know it's in 3D, but I'm guessing it's not in the 3D that I grew up with.

[B]

Probably not.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, thank God.

[B]

It's like, it's pretty insane to see, like. And I do remember throughout filming it, he would be like, you know, this technology's never been used before. Like, we were using things that literally it was the first time they were used, which was such an intense, insane idea. And to have James Cameron be the one doing that and also, like, it was very, very surreal because we were, you know, on tour in. That's a, that's a very normal thing. We're all used to being on at this point in the, in the tour. And like, you know, he's like, I want to film some of your warmup. I'm like, okay. And so I, I'm like doing the thing I always do. I'm in my room with my, like, I'm wearing like boxers and a T shirt, doing my warmup and getting my ankles taped for the show. And James Cameron himself, alone with an enormous 3D camera, literally like this is walking in himself and he sits like right here in front of me and he's asking me the questions and he's the one standing there. And then there's like four dudes that walk in that are like holding the boom and the lighting and I just like, it was the most trippy shit in the world. It was just like, what am I looking at?

[A]

Like, wherever he goes, he's like, hey, James, you can come to our barbecue. And then he shows up and he's got a nine dimensional camera.

[B]

That's like exactly what you'd imagine him looking like, just standing there with a camera on him.

[A]

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[B]

Idiots.

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[B]

Yeah, like all the time.

[A]

Yeah, I did that with an all potato restaurant.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Marketers know that feeling. They optimize for the numbers that look great, like impressions, but then they don't see revenue. You know what I'm talking about, don't you?

[B]

Oh, yeah, all the time.

[A]

Yeah. LinkedIn has a word for that, that bull spin.

[B]

Bull spin?

[A]

Yeah. Instead you can get the highest roas of major ad networks with LinkedIn ads. Cut the bull spin, advertise on LinkedIn, spend $250 and get a $250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.com Conan Terms apply. There's this moment in. And it's. I've had staff members here who are huge fans who. Cause I know it's in the movie, but they've also seen it. They've seen it on the tour and they talked about it. And I was really intrigued by this because you have this moment where you get. I mean, these are huge shows. You get everyone to be absolutely silent. And that's very riveting to me, that first of all, to have fans that will do that. I know it shows a real. There's a mutual respect. And I think for you to be in an arena that's filled with that many people and ask everyone to get absolutely quiet and then you create this musical moment with them not saying a word is stunning. And what I love about it is, yes, there's gonna be this great technology and there's gonna be all these amazing angles, but people also, I think, get to see up close what it is you do that is different. I think that's pretty amazing.

[B]

Thanks, Conan. That's so well said and nice of you to say, but that moment, when

[A]

did you start to realize, okay, I'm gonna go for this?

[B]

Cause, well, like you said, when we had that idea in the rehearsal period of the tour, I really was like, I do not think this is gonna work. Like, how am I gonna get the entire room to be silent? And, you know, it's not like, you know, somewhat quiet. It's like, it has to be like nothing at all. Because what's happening is in my mic, I am singing one part and then it's looping and I'm singing another part and that's looping and I'm singing another part, and then that's looping.

[A]

So you're building it in real time.

[B]

Fully building it in real time by recording. And so. And also, like, because I sing not like, very loud, the mic is, like, pretty hot. And so it really picks up a lot. And there was. There was one time, I don't know where we were. It was honestly one of, like five times in the entire 106 show tour of Hit me hard and soft that they weren't quiet. And the only thing that happened was everyone was quiet except this voice. Voice. Billy, give me a blow job.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Oops.

[A]

See, that sucks.

[B]

Now. I thought it was funny. I really.

[A]

No, no, it is, it is. But it's also just holy.

[B]

But also, I'm thinking that was in the loop. And so every. I'm like,

[A]

I didn't realize it got picked up by the recording.

[B]

It just was repeating over and over.

[A]

Well, it was a number one hit. And now the guy's like, where's my money? But aside from I'm blowjob Sam.

[B]

Oh, God, that was my dope. That was literally the only time that really ever happened because their fans are so. And that was just like some guy.

[A]

But also, you know, that the people

[B]

around him were like, oh, he got completely. I mean, he got shamed by the entire audience. And I think, like, like, this is something about my crowd and my fans that I love so much, which is like, their complete devotion and also, like, their willingness to fight for what they believe in and what they love. And me and, you know, really defend me. And, like, the fact that they are all respectful enough to be completely silent for an entire minute while I'm singing and not make any noise, not sing along, not say anything, not want the attention. Like, it's really, really beautiful. And also, like, I was so sure it wasn't gonna work out. I've never tried anything like that.

[A]

It's scary.

[B]

It's so scary. And at the first show we did, we were in Quebec. It was the first show of the entire tour. And they were completely silent. And then I was like, okay, well, that's the only time that's gonna work. And then it fucking worked. Every single time. Except that one time. And a couple times where they were just rowdy and screaming, but pretty much for the most part. And also, like, the fact that I was asking them to do that is insane. It's an insane request. And I was, well, I think.

[A]

I think you have this. Yeah. Turns out he's like a neurologist 44. Neurologist. Yeah. I've actually led the field in cerebral cortex therapy.

[B]

He has a. No.

[A]

What happened? I don't know. I had a tequila. I lost it.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

But I think that.

[B]

No, not poor guy.

[A]

No, not poor guy. Not poor guy. We're gonna find him. He's also banned. He's banned. And Phineas is banned. Those are the only two.

[B]

And Phineas.

[A]

The only two. Yeah. I think it's a tribute to you that your fans, you know, that guy excluded. Your fans know you. They know you, and they're not knowing this idea of who you are. That's who you are. I mean, that's what I've. The two times you've been here and we're hanging out and I'm refusing to play a game when you're here. I can see that. Oh, that's Billy. That's just who you are. And your fans know that there are a lot of people in your business, or just show business in general, who. And I see it a lot in comedy. There's. People love the idea of them that they've constructed, but that's not really who they are. And so I think that's a credit to you, that, yes, it can work. There's a lot of people it wouldn't work for because their fans don't have that relationship with them. So I think it's really amazing. I think it's cool. And also, the whole concept of so much of show business, especially in comedy and in music, is make noise and keep the noise going, and people are afraid of. I gotta keep the energy up. We gotta keep it going. And that's so much of it, that for someone to come out and say, okay, everyone, be absolutely silent. I'm gonna try something, is very unusual.

[B]

I know. And they really play along, which I find so beautiful and also really surprising. And they're like that throughout the show, too. Like, they're so, so willing and up for anything that I want them to do, and. And it's just amazing. They are so wonderful. And I do think, like, you know, what you just said about me being me, and that's who they know. It's like. It's true. I think, like, I kind of attribute that to starting out as 13, you know, and being the person I was already, which is, like, always very honest and bold and, like, says anything kind of. I was already like that, so I didn't think any. I didn't think to do anything else. And I was so young. I was just, like, saying anything all the time and being myself, like, I didn't know who else to be.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And like, I. Even when I kind of, like, sometimes wish that I maybe hadn't shared so much of who I am, I am really glad that I did. And also. And that I do, because one of my main goals, and I talk about this in the film a little bit, but, like, I can't stress it enough that, like, one of my main goals as starting out was that I wanted to be the artist that I. That I would want to be a fan of. And that's because I am a fan. I am a huge fan, and I always have been, and I've always been a super fan. Not just like, oh, I like artists and I like the. Whatever it was like, posters and merch and, you know, if I could have gone to a concert, I would have, and I couldn't because, you know, I couldn't afford it. But it was like, merch concerts or merch? I'm like, I couldn't go. I couldn't.

[A]

No. But now you're banned.

[B]

Yeah, I can't.

[A]

You misspoke once, and now that you're out.

[B]

What the hell? I was saying, but I was gonna say that I, like, if there's one piece of advice that I can give, like, younger artists or new artists, and the thing that I have given to people, like, if anyone starting out asks me, which has only happened a few times, like, what I would say, my one piece of advice, actually two, is like, play smaller venues than you think you should or than people are telling you to, and get a serious, serious connection to your fans and be your fans, family. Like, that is the number one thing in my career that I will always keep number one in the priority list. And, like, it's all that. That's all that started. And because it was me, I was, like, saw myself in these kids and wanted to do everything that I, when I was 12, used to think, like, oh, my God, why can't my favorite artists do this? And why. Why can't they make it easier for us to see this? You know? And so I've really strived to be that for them and, like, be reachable and feel like they feel like we are one and, like, they don't feel separated from me. And, like, I don't want to be known by them or know them, you know, Like, I want them to feel like we are friends and that if I'm out in the world, you know, and, like, be respectful, of course. But. But. But, like, when I'm out in the world. And I make eye contact with someone, like, this has happened before, and they just, like, smile at me, and I smile at them, and they run up to me and we hug. Like, that has happened before because. Because it's just. The connection is just there. We don't have to say anything. We just like. And you don't have to be afraid of me. You know that.

[A]

You know, there's a part of the movie where you're talking about. Cause you're very tactile. You go out, you're touching a lot of the fans, and you get scratches on your hands from your fans just because they're so excited to lay hands on you and you're willing to do that. And I'm thinking, it's not great that you're getting scratched up, but at the same time, you're letting them know it's real.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like, this isn't an act. I'm not a hologram image that's been projected. I really. This is who I am. This is what I care about. You guys are part of my crew, and we're in on this together, which is. I mean, I've always felt that's the way it has to be. Even though I work in a completely different world, I think I look for any opportunity to let people out in the world know that, like it or not, for good or ill, this is who I am. Yeah.

[B]

And such a great quality.

[A]

But I mean, that's, I think, really, really key. I don't know. You know, there might come a day where you're like, enough with the scratching of the hands, you know?

[B]

But, yes, it can be a lot. I mean, also, because it's like the trajectory of things has gotten so much bigger over the years that at this point, it's not only fans in the crowd. Sometimes, like, it's. Sometimes it's a little bit. Like, it can be a little bit dangerous. But the thing is, like, I don't want to be out of reach, like, physically and, you know, mentally. Like, I want. I want them to feel like I am right there with them. And so it's like, it's a hard balance because for a long time, it was pretty easy to do that. Like, I. When I was first doing shows, every single show, no matter what, I would get off stage, walk straight into the audience, and meet every single person in the room and, like, take pictures with everyone, talk to everyone, and sign anything. Like, I never. It would take hours and hours, and it would be, like, hundreds of people. And it was, like, not paid it was nothing. I just. I wanted to meet everyone.

[A]

Well, it's also. It's staying true that that's a real connection.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It doesn't have to be recorded. No one has to see it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know it's real. They know it's real. And that's responsible for so much. That's a big part of everything that's happened for you.

[B]

I know, but I mean, it's hard

[A]

to explain that to people that you used to get when you first started working with me. You would get upset that I would hang out in the crowd so long afterwards. Or was it safe when they get crazy?

[B]

I mean, I'm sure there's been some situations for you where it's been hairy. It's the same for you. It's. It's. Can get scary for the people around you who love you, who care about you, who want you to be safe. It can get, oh, yeah, nuts.

[A]

And I'm acknowledging right now, whatever I've gone through, Billi has that times a million, because it's a very different connection. I mean, people. It's. So what I've experienced is people get really excited, but they. They really like some goofy video that I made 28 years ago, which is nice. I really love that. But. But you have to walk that line now where you can't walk into the arena and say, I'm gonna hang with all of you for 15 days.

[B]

Yeah. It's been hard to figure out how to have the connection with them, but not completely.

[A]

It's fun. Cause in the movie, there's a part where you're like, literally seeing your fans that are camped out and you're behind a window and you're banging on the glass. And I can relate to. You're excited to bond with them, so you're trying to. You're trying to let them. And they're so excited that you're banging on a window and they can see you and you can see them. It's just nice. I mean, people always try and pretend that this is more complicated than it is. It's really simple. The reason you started doing this is you wanted. You had something that you wanted to share with people, and you wanted that connection and it's real. And now you can change the scale of it. You can have James Cameron, you can have futuristic cameras, you can have. Have 15 million people coming to a concert and 8 billion downloads. It's still the same thing. The scale changed, but it's the same thing.

[B]

Right. And it's also like, with that exact idea. It's like, you can have boundaries also. It's like, you don't have to. I think I used to give my so much of myself to that, that, like, I kind of hit a wall where I felt like I lost part of myself a little bit because I'd given so much of it to them. And as much as I loved doing it, I was like, whoa, this is, like, really affecting me. And I. Yeah, it's. And also, like, again, when it got to a larger scale, it got a little less human somehow. Like, people started treating me less like a human, which I get. It's like seeing Big. Big Bear. Bigfoot.

[A]

Big Bear.

[B]

So Bigfoot.

[A]

Ski trail at Big Bear.

[B]

Listen, no food in my body. Just one CO and an ssri. Don't worry about it. Anyway.

[A]

Hey, but this is real, man. This is you.

[B]

Ay, ay, ay.

[A]

But I mean, that's. Yeah, that's one of the things, too, that I see it in comedy. People get obsessed with. I played an arena and I think. I don't know. That doesn't look fun. Like, I like it. There's a certain magical size where. And I think it's obviously very different in music. Music is quite different. And I think sometimes comedians get confused a little bit because they think, I want to be a rock star comedian. And obviously, some of them can do it brilliantly. I think Kevin Hart can do it brilliantly. And Eddie Murphy. There's different people that can go into an arena, and they're fantastic. And then I always think, for a lot of us, there's just the right size, you know, which can be, you know, okay, 1,500 people or something like that. But once it starts to get to be more than that, it's hard to feel close. Yeah, it's hard to feel close. And I do think music is better on a larger scale than just saying shit, you know?

[B]

Yeah, I think so. Yeah. I get what you mean, though, because I had the same kind of feeling for many years. I was like, I don't want to play arenas because then I'm going to be far away from everyone and not feel like it's intimate at all. I feel like for comedy, it's, like, different because you're standing there talking to them. So it's like really a harder thing on a larger scale.

[A]

You start to lose, like this if it gets really big, and I'm not one of those kinds of comedians, but I think that you might, at some point lose that spark of immediacy if the scale gets too big. And again, there are special people that can really do it beautifully. And I think I'm always craving, you know, sometimes when I see that the venue is really big, I'm like, I don't know if I'm gonna have that same conversational thing going. But again, it's very different in music. And I think all comics wish they were rock stars. They just do. And me included. We all wish. We all look at music and we all kind of try and pretend that that's what we are and we're not. And then occasionally I'll meet these iconic musicians who are like, oh, I really wish I could have a talk show. And I'm like, really? You want to wrap it up with Al Roker and go to a commercial? No, I really do, but. Well, I'm really excited for you. Hit me hard and soft. And this is co directed with you, James Cameron. That's insane. Just madness because I have offered him a co directing thing with me many times. Yeah. And he's so far no callback, so maybe he's banned too from the pod. I'm gonna say that I have great admiration for you as an artist, but I feel a real connection to you as a person. I'm really proud of you. It's such a weird thing to say, but I feel like I'm like, you're probably your dad's age or something, but I have this pride in like, well, Billy's doing a good job. It's like, well, who am I to take any other than I wrote that big song for you. Birds of feather. I did.

[B]

Yeah, you did very much.

[A]

Most half your catalog easily of things that. I'm just saying. And we're gonna settle this out of court. I love the judge asking for any proof and I'm just like, I'm pretty sure she said. And then he said, you're just doing dudes. No, I'm very happy for you. I'm very proud. You're welcome here anytime. Finneas is welcome here anytime.

[B]

Conan.

[A]

Give my best to your folks. And I just. You're a huge deal. And so you coming in and just sharing your talent and your wit and just your spirit with us is a really cool thing.

[B]

Thank you so much. I love coming here so much. I will literally come back as many times as you want.

[A]

We have a Hyundai and a bidet sponsorship. Now here's Billie Eilish for the luxe bidet. Hi, guys. You've had a huge meal,

[B]

but thank you for saying all of that. It's unnecessary and it Means so much to me. And you guys are all awesome. I love the vibe in here. I was just saying the other day that I just. I live to laugh. And I love when I meet people that live to laugh, you know, Just amazing. I hate people that don't laugh. Just so fucking. Can you imagine?

[A]

I hate when people don't laugh because it means I don't get paid. Oh, my God. And that's it. No, that is my language. Like, when people don't laugh, I'm like, oh, I guess I don't have a reason to live anymore.

[B]

But it's so wonderful in here that all these people are just. We're all just laughing at everything. It's just amazing. God, it's good. It's just what life is about. But thank you for having me. And I'm.

[A]

Yeah, it was a big. We really. It was a big. It was really big of us to have you. I'm just gonna say you probably didn't see that. No, it was.

[B]

I thought you were gonna come compliment Billy.

[A]

I was like, I don't know. I did say, is she still in the business? I mean, how's it going for her? If you were like, what are you talking about? And I was like, I don't know. I pretty much know what's going on with young people. I don't think she's doing so good. I'm an idiot. But thank you for being here. And say hey to your gang for me.

[B]

I will. We all love you so much, and I feel the same.

[A]

Conan o' Brien needs a friend. With Conan o', Brien, Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley produced by me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples, engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-58-72847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up [e-mail] Conan and if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a Friend. Wherever fine podcasts are downloaded, I'm just going to say it. There's a Hyundai Hybrid for everyone.

[B]

There sure is.

[A]

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It's a good one.

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Somebody that steal clothes from a store and sell at a discount price.

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