Billy Crystal

Summary

Podcast Summary: Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Episode: Billy Crystal
Host: Sona Movsesian
Guest: Billy Crystal
Timestamp Range: [01:05] – [73:36]

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Introduction and Early Connections

[01:05] Billy Crystal: "Hi, my name is Billy Crystal and I'm just not sure about being Conan O'Brien's friend."
The episode kicks off with Billy Crystal introducing himself with a touch of humor, acknowledging the show's premise of Conan seeking genuine friendships beyond his professional relationships.

Billy Crystal's Introduction to Comedy

[13:13] Billy Crystal: "Sid Caesar was there, and I got to walk up to him and tell him how much he meant to me."
Billy reminisces about his early days in comedy, highlighting his first encounter with Sid Caesar during the filming of 10 from Youm Show of Shows. This pivotal moment ignited his passion for comedy.

Family Influence and Early Career

[14:25] Billy Crystal: "My parents were comedy just mavens. My mom, for a little while, was the voice of Minnie Mouse in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parades."
Billy discusses the significant influence of his family, especially his parents, in shaping his comedic talent. His mother's role as Minnie Mouse and his father's involvement in the jazz music business provided a creative environment that fostered his growth.

Challenges on Saturday Night Live (SNL)

[27:06] Billy Crystal: "When my sketch was on at 12:55, you think all it takes is for one sketch to run a little long and you're gonna get nudged into... Once it's gone, it's gone."
Billy shares his experience during the early days of SNL, where despite being part of the initial lineup, his sketches often faced cuts. He recounts the uncertainty and anxiety of live television editing.

Memorable Moments on SNL

[35:04] Billy Crystal: "And so we did it. And it was really funny and he was just so delightful and, and real and real."
One of the standout moments Billy describes is when George Carlin's guest performer, Barry Manilow, canceled last minute. Billy spontaneously brought a camera operator, Bobby Ferraccio, on stage to play Manilow, resulting in a memorable and hilarious segment that embodied the show's improvisational spirit.

Friendship with Muhammad Ali and Yogi Berra

[46:11] Billy Crystal: "We would have all of these events over the years. He would be there. He came at my 50th birthday party and surprised me and walked out in front of everybody."
Billy delves into his close friendships with sports legends Muhammad Ali and Yogi Berra. He shares touching anecdotes, including Ali's unwavering support during SNL performances and their deep personal bond that extended beyond professional interactions.

Impact of Early Career Challenges

[31:58] Billy Crystal: "And I thought, Conan, my boy, whatever you're having done, whatever work you're having done, I say 20% more and then stop."
Reflecting on setbacks like being fired from SNL, Billy emphasizes how these challenges shaped his resilience and commitment to his craft. His ability to turn these experiences into learning opportunities contributed to his enduring success.

Success Beyond SNL

[34:41] Billy Crystal: "I've always tried to straddle that. Coming off of three really funny movies in a row... But it was risky because he's not a likable character."
Billy discusses his transition from SNL to film and stand-up comedy, highlighting both his successes in movies like When Harry Met Sally and City Slickers, as well as the risks involved in roles like in Mr. Saturday Night, where he played a more complex, less likable character.

Current Projects and Future Endeavors

[60:34] Billy Crystal: "I'm so excited about this. And it's the most difficult part I've ever had to play."
Billy shares insights into his recent work, including his Apple TV+ series Before. He expresses pride in the project's depth and the talent involved, noting the challenges and rewards of portraying a multifaceted character grappling with personal tragedy.

Legacy and Reflections

[71:34] Billy Crystal: "I'm leaving out somebody. Cole Davis. I'll be in the next season."
Concluding the episode, Billy reflects on his legacy and enduring relationships within the entertainment industry. He touches on the timelessness of his work and expresses gratitude for ongoing collaborations and the support of peers and fans alike.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Billy Crystal on Early Career Struggles:
  [27:06] "Once it's gone, it's gone."

• Billy Crystal on Improvisation:
  [35:16] "All the hideaways that we did was so much fun because I wasn't sure what I was going to say until I said it."

• Billy Crystal on Friendship with Muhammad Ali:
  [47:07] "You know, he had the greatest. He's the greatest catcher in the history of baseball."

• Billy Crystal on Current Work:
  [60:22] "It's the most difficult part I've ever had to play. It gets."

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Conclusion

This episode of Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend offers an intimate glimpse into Billy Crystal's storied career, his personal relationships, and the moments that defined him both professionally and personally. Through engaging anecdotes and heartfelt reflections, Billy shares the triumphs and tribulations that have shaped his legacy in the world of comedy and entertainment.

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Note: The timestamps correspond to the transcript's markers but may vary slightly in the actual podcast's runtime.

Transcript

[Conan O'Brien]

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[Sona Movsesian]

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[Conan O'Brien]

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[Sona Movsesian]

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[Billy Crystal]

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[Billy Crystal]

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[Billy Crystal]

Hi, my name is Billy Crystal and I'm. I'm just not sure about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay, there's a. I admire your honesty.

[Billy Crystal]

First of all, there's a lot riding on this for both of us. Yeah, Ashley, no, I. You know, I have available days during the week, so if this works out.

[Sona Movsesian]

We could actually start hanging out on a regular basis.

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah, no, I. Shouldn't it be like that?

[Sona Movsesian]

It should be like that.

[Matt Gourley]

Fall is here here the yell back to school Ring the bell Brand new.

[Billy Crystal]

Shoes Walk and lose Climb the fence Books and pens I can tell that we are going to be friends Yes, I can tell that we are going.

[Sona Movsesian]

To be friends hey there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend, the podcast that. Well, what else do I say? It just gives and gives and gives.

[Matt Gourley]

It speaks for itself.

[Sona Movsesian]

It speaks for itself. All that meant nothing. I'm sorry. I came in hot and then I had nothing. It speaks for itself.

[Adam Sacks]

What does that mean?

[Matt Gourley]

And then it has not spoken for itself.

[Adam Sacks]

What does it say?

[Sona Movsesian]

It reminds me of now. Okay, this is taking people into it's One of my favorite lines in a film is from Raging Bull when Robert De Niro, early in the film playing Jake LaMotta. It's showing how dysfunctional his relationship is with his wife. And it's black and white. And he's sitting there and he's yelling at his W. And she's cooking the steak and he says, don't cook it too much. And she's saying, I'm not going to cook it too much. And De Niro is like, if you, you're cooking it to me, I'm not going to cook it too much. And then he just has this line that I don't know if it was improvised or what. Maybe he just said if you cook it too much, it defeats its own purpose. I don't break that down. It doesn't mean it doesn't make anything, in a sense. But I want to say Conan O'Brien needs a friend is the podcast that defeats its own purpose. Yes. That we are an overcooked steak.

[Adam Sacks]

We are.

[Sona Movsesian]

I am very happy to see you guys. It's been a little bit. It's been a while.

[Billy Crystal]

It's been a week.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah. I think you've been out ballooning or whatever you do. And I've been traveling the globe and we've been having.

[Adam Sacks]

I've been here.

[Sona Movsesian]

What's that?

[Adam Sacks]

I've been here.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, you've been here. I've been ballooning. He was right. So I hadn't seen anybody for a while. And today I see Sona for the first time in a little bit. You came in.

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

And I think within 35 seconds you. Because you sent me a lovely. Sona sends me nice videos every now and then of her twins, Mikey and Charlie, who are adorable and they're great. And she sends these really funny videos. Sometimes they see me on screen or something and they're like, uncle Coco, Uncle Coco. And she sends me these videos and it's a lot of fun, but within 30 seconds because they've been in the news a lot lately and there's been this big Ryan Murphy special TV show. You likened your three year old beautiful children to the Menendez brothers. And then we started talking about how you might send them out on Halloween as the Menendez brothers. That's pretty great.

[Billy Crystal]

That's pretty great.

[Adam Sacks]

I think what I said was, I, I'm scared of watching monsters because I have two boys and you never, you never know.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, you do know.

[Adam Sacks]

You don't.

[Sona Movsesian]

First of all, I told you, I'll get you steel pajamas that will protect you when they come bursting in.

[Adam Sacks]

You never know. I don't know what happened.

[Sona Movsesian]

You do know. You do know. They're not. I mean, I think you have a solid 55% chance of your kids not killing you and Tad.

[Adam Sacks]

55%.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's pretty good. That's above 50%, isn't it?

[Matt Gourley]

Contingent upon how the parents are. That's what made them the way they were. So you should.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, that's controversial because it's. The big question of the movie is, what did happen to the kids? Did they kill them for the money, or did they make up this story? Who knows? It's this big question, and there's a lot that we will not litigate here on this show. Okay. I think we should stick to the meat of the issue, which is that you likened your twin to the Menendez brothers and then started talking about them going out on Halloween. What, with little shotguns.

[Adam Sacks]

I don't know.

[Sona Movsesian]

Now I'm not going to get wearing pastel shirts, one of them wearing glasses, one of them wearing a wig, and the other wearing glasses that he didn't need just to soften his look in court. And would you go out as their lawyer, wear, like, a yellow wig?

[Adam Sacks]

Yeah. Well, I mean, will it read, does one dress up in, like, a tennis outfit and then the other.

[Sona Movsesian]

Are they the Menace brothers at trial? I think that should be them at trial, when their lawyer tried to soften their image by having them wear passive pastels.

[Adam Sacks]

Okay.

[Sona Movsesian]

And told Eric to wear glasses that he didn't need. They didn't have any lenses in them.

[Adam Sacks]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

I think he. It tipped it off to the jury several times when he scratched his face through the open glasses or did this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Made it bad. He said. Well, he'd say out loud, time to clean my glasses. And then he'd take a. And go.

[Matt Gourley]

You wouldn't convict a guy in glasses, would you?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, because these are real lenses.

[Adam Sacks]

That's why you two wear glasses to soften your image. I'm just saying.

[Sona Movsesian]

I was told by Adam Sacks, I don't need glasses. He said, you should wear glasses to soften your brutal image because people think of you as a murderer. And so people think of me as.

[Matt Gourley]

Pretty hardcore without these glasses.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, yeah, definitely. We put you in glasses. We tried to soften up your image. You're kind of more DB Cooper now. You're sort of a 1970s hijacker.

[Matt Gourley]

Take them off.

[Billy Crystal]

Let's see.

[Sona Movsesian]

Monster. That's stolen. It's okay. The good stuff is that's Eugene Levy. Oh, it's also Carl Reiner in the movie the Jerk. Yeah, that's right.

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

And he takes off his glasses, and his eyes are immediately crossed. Shout out to the great Carl Reiner. But anyway, is this something that you might actually do? Have him go out.

[Adam Sacks]

I'm not gonna give him shotguns.

[Sona Movsesian]

Right.

[Adam Sacks]

But maybe spattered in blood. Maybe a little Menendezy would be kind of like, timely.

[Billy Crystal]

Cute.

[Adam Sacks]

Is it cute?

[Sona Movsesian]

It's not cute.

[Adam Sacks]

It's not.

[Sona Movsesian]

Is it cute? It's not cute.

[Matt Gourley]

Remember last year, the other Ryan Murphy show, Dahmer. Everybody went as Dahmer for Halloween.

[Adam Sacks]

Yes.

[Matt Gourley]

So you could.

[Sona Movsesian]

And you have these kids that do seem. There's no light in their eyes. I'll just say that there's just no light in their eyes. And I've seen them look when you walk into a room, they're real happy. And then you and Tack walk into a room, and I see them look at you. And they've often asked me independently, about your net worth. Uncle Coco.

[Adam Sacks]

Yes.

[Billy Crystal]

Who's this?

[Sona Movsesian]

Mikey. Oh, you can work a phone.

[Billy Crystal]

What?

[Sona Movsesian]

Momma, daddy worth.

[Billy Crystal]

What?

[Sona Movsesian]

What?

[Billy Crystal]

What?

[Sona Movsesian]

Mommy, daddy worth? Oh, I mean, Sona's got a book, and she's Does. Does well on the podcast. And, you know, I know Tack is does well. And you guys have a nice house, so I would think. Yeah, you guys. Yeah, maybe we look at. Make it look like murder. Why do they talk this way?

[Adam Sacks]

Why are they telling you the plan, too?

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, that. Well, that's what the Menendez brothers did. And they trust me. They said.

[Matt Gourley]

The Menendez brothers told you?

[Sona Movsesian]

No, they told Dr. Ozil, their therapist. But I do believe there's a good chance they will. They think of me as. First of all, any. Anything you say to your Uncle Coco is confidential.

[Adam Sacks]

That's not true.

[Billy Crystal]

It is true.

[Adam Sacks]

That's not true. And I also.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, and by the way, I'm talking about it on a podcast. I also think.

[Adam Sacks]

I don't even think they would kill us for the net worth. They would kill us for, like, a popsicle right now. Like, the stakes are much lower than.

[Sona Movsesian]

That is the currency for them right now.

[Adam Sacks]

Yeah. It's like, can I have a piece of M&Ms? And then they would kill us for them.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, that's okay. I mean, I don't know. We all go through a phase.

[Adam Sacks]

That's okay. What are you talking about?

[Sona Movsesian]

No, no, I tried to. I mean, my brothers and I. I'm one of four brothers. We tried to get our parents a couple of times. We just weren't very organized about it.

[Matt Gourley]

But there was four of you.

[Sona Movsesian]

I know there's four of us, but I didn't say a. We're physically uncoordinated. The O'Brien boys. And we never had a clear plan. So it was just, you know, sometimes I'd come Into the room. And I'd have a gun, but Neil would have a pillow. And I'd be like, what do you have a pillow for? I thought we said guns. And he said, no. I thought we said pillows. And then my dad would wake up and go, what are you doing in here? Get out of here. And we'd get scared and go and leave. We never got our plan straight.

[Adam Sacks]

Oh, okay.

[Sona Movsesian]

All right.

[Adam Sacks]

Well, hopefully the boys won't either. I don't know. There's this two of them.

[Sona Movsesian]

Hey, root for their success. Yes.

[Billy Crystal]

You know what I'm trying to do?

[Sona Movsesian]

Always root for your children to succeed.

[Adam Sacks]

Yeah. I'll be like, good try, guys. If they try something, right? I try.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, you tried.

[Billy Crystal]

I did it.

[Sona Movsesian]

The important thing is you tried.

[Adam Sacks]

I tried.

[Sona Movsesian]

So you took tack out, but you missed. Mummy. Good job. Here's a trophy.

[Adam Sacks]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

Should be a trophy.

[Adam Sacks]

This is so dark.

[Sona Movsesian]

This is really dark. I thought it was maybe too dark for our podcast, but you guys were like, no. And Adam was like, thumbs up. We should be rolling on this. And I was like, really? I think it's too dark. Your beautiful children. This is.

[Adam Sacks]

It's cause they have brown hair, they have brown eyes. They're a little Menendezy.

[Sona Movsesian]

And I also. There's nothing in the eyes. There's no light in their eyes. I saw it when they were babies.

[Adam Sacks]

Come on, you can't say that just cause they didn't laugh at things you said.

[Matt Gourley]

Well, that's what this is all about.

[Adam Sacks]

That's what this is. You want.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's what this is about, Man. I gave them my A level stats.

[Adam Sacks]

I know.

[Sona Movsesian]

Time and time again, I burned more calories trying to make these kids laugh, and I couldn't get them. I started to get them recently.

[Adam Sacks]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

But usually I can get them at one. I couldn't get him at one. I couldn't get him at two. Even now. It's tough.

[Adam Sacks]

Yeah, it's tough.

[Sona Movsesian]

And first of all, I should get something for just facial recognition. Like, oh, he's worked. I know him from the clubs. I should get something. You know, I should get, like, a trophy. I should get something.

[Adam Sacks]

No, you don't get it. If you don't earn it, you don't get it.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, when people don't laugh at my jokes, I think they're sociopaths. That's what we've learned from.

[Matt Gourley]

Like, a true sociopath.

[Sona Movsesian]

Exactly. All right. We got to get into it. Yeah. Lot to talk about. My guest today starred in such classics as When Harry met Sally.

[Billy Crystal]

Hmm.

[Sona Movsesian]

Now it could be one of two people and City Slickers. Now you can see him in the Apple TV plus limited series before honored. He's here with us today. This is his first time on the podcast. He's a legend. Billy Crystal, welcome. I saw you at a. At a school event not long ago, and we're chatting, and this thing just popped into my head, which is, who has checked more boxes in their career than Billy Crystal? And I said it to you, and I said, no, no, seriously, I'm thinking about this right now, ticking off every category that you've had success in. It was impressive. It also angered me. It made me feel small. But I was going through the list of, you know, sitcom television, Saturday Night Live, film. I mean, Broadway. Oh, I was getting. I was. It's. It's somehow less cool when you help me with it. The Oscars. I mean, there's. There are a lot of entertainers where I can say, okay, they've done well in these two. These two slots. They've got those covered. But you've had this absolutely stunning career. And so I was thrilled when you said you'd come in and talk.

[Billy Crystal]

Oh, yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

Because my introduction to you as a real human being, as a physical person was. I was a volunteer on the very first Comic Relief, really. I had just gotten a job. My writing partner and I had just gotten a job at Moffat Lee in August of 85. And not long after that, they said, we're doing this thing, Comic Relief. It's going to be the first one. The hosts will be Billy Crystal, Robin Williams and Whoopi Goldberg. And everybody came out, and I was a gopher on that. But I remembered seeing you, seeing Robin, seeing Whoopi. I was 22 and had just arrived in LA, staying in a $380 a month apartment where I still live. But I remembered that seeing a limo pull up and Jerry Lewis step out holding a small white dog, which is something egotistical people do in movies, but not in real life.

[Billy Crystal]

And not only that, Jerry would put the little doggy treat in his own mouth to soften it up and then go, here, Bobby, here. That's what he would. He would do.

[Sona Movsesian]

But I remember that event, my introduction to comedy that really made me want to do it was when 10 from youm Show of Shows was released as a movie with Sid Caesar. My father took me to see it. I might have been 12, I don't know. And I said, whatever this is, I have to get in on this. And Sid Caesar was there, and I got to walk up to him and tell him how much he meant to me. So you were a big part of my introduction to this whole world.

[Billy Crystal]

Well, so was Sid. For me, that was my show. I was five or six. I'm the youngest of three boys. My family was in the music business. My dad produced phenomenal jazz concerts. The family business was this little record store called the Commodore music shop on 42nd street between Lexington and Third. And it was the hangout for jazz artists. My Uncle Milt, who's in a. Excuse me. In a. This you can cut out.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, no, no. We're gonna keeping this. You're softening up a dog treat right now. Jerry's dog is still alive Here, Booby. Here he sit for that.

[Billy Crystal]

He said. Said, no poop. No poop. Sit. Good boy. Who's the best little Jew dog? And my uncle started this label, the Commodore Jazz Label which was the first independently owned jazz label of its kind. And he started producing his own records. One of which became Strange Fruit by Billie Holiday. All of these great jazz artists. But my parents were comedy just mavens. My mom, for a little while, was the voice of Minnie Mouse in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parades. I didn't know that they met at Macy's. And she was the voice of Minnie Mouse. The float would come down Fifth Avenue and she'd be sitting somewhere under Minnie's skirt that's flying in here, doing. Singing her song, which was at the time, I'm forever blowing bubbles. And so they would. They were always funny. And they really knew that the three of us, we had a shine for it. So they'd let us stay up late to watch. In the beginning, show of Shows, which then later evolved to Steve Allen on the Tonight Show. Jack Parr. Ernie Kovacs was a huge influence. But it was. It was an episode of 10 from youm Show of Shows. They're doing a takeoff of the King and I, which had just won Best Picture. And so they have, you know, kind of cheesy palace set. And then Sid, who is just the Charlie Chaplin of television. Yeah. Comes out in a bad bald wig, capri pants, barefoot, strikes the pose, then starts screaming at the top of his lungs, grabbing his foot. Who's smoking in the palace? There's no smoking in the palace. And I just felt that's. So I was doing that constantly. And then the show of Shows, to me, the classic sketch was this is your life.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes.

[Billy Crystal]

This Al Duncy.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes.

[Billy Crystal]

And which is one.

[Sona Movsesian]

Which is the sketch that got my attention too, in that movie. The movie's a collection of sketches.

[Billy Crystal]

But yes, when Howie Morris comes out as Uncle Goopy and starts crying and jumping on Sid. And Sid was very strong, he would drag him around the room. They'd look at each other and they'd scream and cry and they'd separate. Then they'd go back on top of each other. So when my dad would come home from the store, I was four or five, six maybe. I'd jump on his back and cry and he'd jump, throw me into bed. So I was, you know, I was Uncle Goopy. That show. When Sid came, I introduced myself.

[Sona Movsesian]

This is comic relief now. 1986.

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah, yeah. And I have a picture with the cast in the cast of show of Shows. And when I was most recently on Broadway with Mr. Saturday Night, I had an 8 by 10 of that picture. And that was the last thing I looked at before I would go out on stage every time. Because that was the scent that I followed all of these years.

[Sona Movsesian]

You know, it's interesting because you mentioned your dad's business and the record label. Your dad would bring home comedy albums. And this fascinates me because I had a similar experience. You'd listen to Nichols and May, Brooks and Reiner, Jonathan Winters, Bob Newhart, and you soaked that stuff up. I did the same thing. I listened to comedy albums as a kid. What I noticed is listening to albums introduced me to how timing works. And because you realize it's music, there's no picture to distract you. And you listen to those people and it gets. I think. Tell me what you think. But you listen to that and all. You are not distracted, you're just listening to the timing.

[Billy Crystal]

Yes, those albums were my rock and roll as much as music we had in the house. It was the comedy albums that I would listen to over and over again. I can't tell you any songs by the great bands, but I can tell you the beats of the major thing is that I never ever eat fried food. I'll always run for a bus There'll never be another I just stroll jaunty, jolly. I can tell you all of those things. Nichols and maybe Jonathan's albums. Stan Freiburg was a gigantic comedy for us. Have you ever heard his musical? Oh, yeah, yeah. So it's a history of the United States of America. And there's just brilliant pieces. The signing of the Declaration of Independence, Columbus Finding a New World. And it's a musical that the late David Merrick. Well, they're all late. This is. They're all late. It's so long ago. Not Late. They're not coming.

[Sona Movsesian]

I just got a text. They're not coming. Can't make it. Died 20 years ago.

[Billy Crystal]

He wanted to make it into a Broadway musical. So I would listen and study it. It's just something either you know what you're listening to or you don't.

[Sona Movsesian]

There was. I got the privilege of getting to know Bob Newhart well, and I was such a fan of his and then got to be friendly with him. And he told me once that his first album comes out in 1960. It's a massive hit. It knocks Sinatra off the number one spot, button down mind. And he's a phenomenon. And he comes out to LA and he's, you know, he's a former accountant who's just hit the big time and he's asked to go perform at a house. This is back in the day when there's like. Unlike today, where there's 9 million people in show business and I don't know, I'm not sure who they all are. Yeah, back then There were about 35 people in show business and they were all at one house to welcome Bob Newhart. And he went there and he did, you know, a couple of selections from his album. And because he was self conscious and didn't want to go too long, he tightened it, he dropped a few lines, and he was done. And he did it. And everyone loved it. Jack Benny was sitting in the corner, who he had never met before. And Jack Benny walked up and said, what happened? Because Jack Benny, of course, the master of timing. Sure, Johnny Carson learned it from Jack Benny. Everybody learned everything from Jack Benny. Said, no, no, what happened there? What happened there? There was a piece missing here. There was a piece missing here. But I do think that it interested me that you came to it. Yes, you visually see comedy and love it, but you really learned the albums.

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah, there was a great Jonathan Winters album. And one of the pieces was a horror movie. He plays this doctor who's building a monster. And the punchline is. That monster, which is huge, is a new basketball player for ucla, but it's with. It's. And he's got a funny voice and he's. He's got a hunchback assistant and dribble. Here's. This is a ball. I want you to bounce the ball. Don't touch him. Stay away from him. So I memorized the whole cut. I memorized the whole cut and I do it in a school show. It was first time I did stand up. And I was a big hit, too. This is the only time my father ever got to see me perform because he died the next year. But I had no idea. It just was. It got a laugh. I wasn't even thinking about it. It was. It was. Those albums were.

[Sona Movsesian]

This is taking me back.

[Billy Crystal]

So important.

[Sona Movsesian]

Taking me back to. I used to be in play. I always wanted to be in plays in school. And I got into Oklahoma, and I don't remember which part I had. I had some kind of minor part, but I was doing everything I could to make everything, Make a meal out of everything together.

[Billy Crystal]

Sure.

[Sona Movsesian]

And they gave me a little fake shotgun and I kept kind of spinning it and I pretend. They wanted me to pretend to be chewing tobacco, but every now and then I pretend to blow bubbles with it. And kids were laughing, laughing. And each show we did, I got more and more laughs. And finally I broke character at one point and addressed the audience and got a huge laugh. Mrs. Steele. I'll never forget her name. Mrs. Steele. After the show, everyone slapped me on the back. She's like, you little orange haired freak with me. And I'm like, I think she's gonna give me an award or something. And she said, you just broke character on one of the most and added your own lines to one of the most famous musicals of all time. Don't you ever, ever. And I'm like, well, she doesn't get Sona. When you take a big trip with the family, and I know that you love to travel and your kids are getting old enough now where they like to travel, too.

[Adam Sacks]

Yeah, that's true.

[Sona Movsesian]

Who looks after the house?

[Adam Sacks]

That's the thing. Nobody. And so I've actually been toying with the idea of maybe, you know, putting my house up on Airbnb, making some extra cash, having someone there.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's like you're hosting people.

[Adam Sacks]

Exactly.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's like you're getting paid to travel. You can use the money that you get from putting your house up on Airbnb to help finance your trip.

[Adam Sacks]

Exactly. And you know what? There's people there that are looking after my relics.

[Sona Movsesian]

You have a lot of people don't know this, but Sona has a lot of ancient Greek relics. Etruscan relics.

[Adam Sacks]

Yes, exactly.

[Sona Movsesian]

You have a lot of sculpture from the Assyrian empire. Sona has billions and billions of dollars worth of ancient, ancient artifacts that have never even been looked at by archeologists.

[Adam Sacks]

They should all be in a museum.

[Sona Movsesian]

They really should be.

[Adam Sacks]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

But it's nice when you're. When you're away, your home could be an Airbnb. And that's Something to keep in mind. So your home, AKA your future Airbnb might be worth more than you think. Find out how [e-mail] host there's nothing quite like the feeling of an upgrade when you're traveling. Well, as a T Mobile customer, you can take the perks with you. Check this out. Whether you're going on a weekend getaway to the mountains or let's say you're on a dream vacation, or in my case, a work trip to Thailand, it's just fantastic. Let me explain. It starts the moment you take off with free in flight wifi so you can stream your favorite show on the go. I mean, that's incredible.

[Adam Sacks]

That is actually pretty sweet.

[Sona Movsesian]

I love that. I mean that's insane. I'm always there with my credit card. You know, I can't figure it out. I lose the credit card, the phone is stolen, someone punches me, you start crying. I cry a lot. When you land, T Mobile's got you covered with 15% off all Hilton brands and an upgrade to Hilton Honors Silver. Plus you're covered with 5 gigabytes. 5 gigabytes. That's more than 4 of high speed data in over 215 countries and destinations with the Go 5G or next plans. These are just a few of the perks that feel like big wins when you travel with T Mobile and it's nice to stay connected to your family. I travel a lot. I do these travel shows and if I'm filming another country, I know I can get to my family right away. They usually don't want to speak to me, but they screen your calls a lot, don't they? I suspect them of screening, yes. Find out how you can experience travel better@t mobile.com TravelToday qualifying plan required WiFi where available on select US airlines registration and Hilton Honors membership required for Hilton Honors Silver. Terms and conditions apply.

[Conan O'Brien]

The kind of burgers you get today tells you a lot about yourself. You're either someone who settles for sad same old same old burgers or you're at a Carl's Jr obsessed with a tangy OG Western bacon cheeseburger demanding a house made guacamole, loaded guac bacon fired up for the insanely hot El Diablo or craving a classic Charbold Famous Star. Give in to your flavor cravings. Do your mouth to Carl's junior Big Burger, Good burger.

[Sona Movsesian]

You know, I'm fascinated cause one of the things that I think about a lot, about a career especially it's like a storied career like yours, is that there's the path you think you're supposed to be on. And sometimes it doesn't go your way. And you think, I'm fucked. To use a Yiddish term.

[Billy Crystal]

That would be shtupp.

[Sona Movsesian]

Then a shtupt. Sorry, I'm new to this. Famously, you're supposed to be on the very first Saturday Night Live, October 11, 1975, which is now celebrating its 50th. So it's unbelievably. It's been all these. Yeah, it's been half a century. That was supposed to. And I've read accounts from you that you're supposed to be on that show, the show that is gonna change everything. You're there, you've got a sketch, it gets cut. And you said you were riding, like, the subway home thinking, that's it.

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

What I always find fascinating now is if you could see the whole palette of everything, you wouldn't change a thing.

[Billy Crystal]

No, you couldn't.

[Sona Movsesian]

How could it get any better for you? But in that moment.

[Billy Crystal]

Oh, boy. And now, Conan, I have to relive it because of the film of Jason Reitman's wonderful film. Right.

[Sona Movsesian]

I haven't seen it yet.

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah, he had a screening for the survivors of that night with the original. Lorraine Newman was there, Garrett Morris was there, and me. And it was particularly heartbreaking at the time because I was 25. I was part of the planning of the show. It wasn't just coming to that show that night. Loren, who I thought was the coolest guy. I'm new into my standup life, too, at that point. I'm only into it, like, eight, nine months. And things were really going like, well, I wrote a lot, and I was really starting to find my way. And I meet this Lorne Michaels at Catch a Rising Star. And he tells me about the show and so on and so forth. And he said, I'd love you to be on the first show. And then I'm playing the Bitter End in New York, and he brings Chevy, Dave Tebbett, who was the head of talent at NBC at the time, Dick Ebersol, Gilda. And so there was a. I was like, part of this. These are the young people we're gonna have on the show. And so I was like, wow, this is going to be the thing. And the comedy guests were Andy Kaufman, myself, and a Canadian comedienne named Valerie Bromfield. And so I was doing this piece, which I just sort of found out how to do it, and it was by accident. And it's a jungle safari movie of the victim. Mature Rhonda Fleming, kind of the great white hunter. And it's a scene where the tarantulas on her body. And he walks across the camp late at night and knocks it off and they fall in love. That's the scene. I take somebody from the audience and I have a huge bowl of potato chips that's miked. And I play and I get the audience to do bird calls. And every time I take a step, she crunches the potato chips loud. He does. And it gets very environmental. Then I get like three people on stage, bird calls, and I'm pointing. So that was the piece I was gonna do, but I was gonna use Don Pardo, the announcer. He was the announcer with just a close up of his hands and his wonderful, silly voice. Now what do I do, Bill? Nothing. Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

And so Friday night, there was a dress rehearsal, live audience, and it did really well, and it was a real highlight of the night. The other sketches were so. So did not.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

And there were two musical guests, and George Carlin was a host, doing like three or four monologues. So at the notes afterwards, Lauren's sitting at Home Base. I remember I was sitting between Gilda and Lorraine, and he looks at me making cuts and cuts and cuts and cuts, and he says, billy, I need two minutes. I said, take two minutes out. He goes, no, I need two minutes. And I went, I'm screwed. I don't have anything. That's two minutes. It takes two minutes just to do the setup.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

And I could condense it. I could do that. But Lauren, afterwards, I said, I don't have anything else. He says, well, you know, let's think about it. It's Friday at midnight.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

Saturday I come back, the Rundown. I'm on at 12:55, which, you know, already is dicey. That's the last comedy spot.

[Sona Movsesian]

Whenever you'd see, when I was a writer there, whenever your sketch was on at 1255, you'd think all it takes is for one sketch to run a little long and you're gonna get nudged into. Well, we'll do it next week. But it never. Once it's gone, it's gone.

[Billy Crystal]

It's gone.

[Sona Movsesian]

Hard to explain, but it's gone.

[Billy Crystal]

So I see that. So I called my managers and everyone said they come over and it was, you know, Lawrence putting together his very first show. It's so hectic, it's crazy. And this is the first one. So I'm just waiting and waiting and waiting and camera blocking. Run through it again. It's coming up this. Wait over here, wait over there. It's not looking good. It's going to be okay. Don't worry about it. So at 8:30, my manager comes out and says, come on, we're going. What? We try to get it five minutes in the first hour. He can't do it. George is doing four monologues, just two songs. And so this. Come on, let's just get the hell out of here. And I went, but. And that was it. And then I find myself on the Long Island Railroad. Subway to Penn Station, Long Island Railroad. To go home, to call the relatives, to say, don't watch. I mean, there's no cell phone, there's nothing, you know, you had a. There's a dial.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes. Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

And then the reactions. What'd you do? You got fired? What did you say to the man? Did you. What'd you do? Open a mouth, that thing? And I thought, that's it, I'm done, you know? Lorne Toots then brought me back for Show 19 with Ron Nessen, who was Gerald Ford's press secretary. He hosted the show. I did that and then I didn't do it again for eight years until I hosted.

[Sona Movsesian]

But then you come back as a cast member. Yeah, in a way. Again, these things are so much bigger than us, but everyone's trajectory is probably the trajectory they're supposed to have.

[Billy Crystal]

Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

So you went off, had all this other success, but then came back and was able to dominate on SNL in that season in a very special way that would not have been possible in the first five years.

[Billy Crystal]

No, I was ready.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, you were ready.

[Billy Crystal]

What we had talked about in the beginning was that I was to do like six appearances over the first two seasons and then be sort of the first non celebrity host. It was like growing from the farm system. And then I go off and I end up on Howard Cosell's Saturday Night Live on abc.

[Sona Movsesian]

Right.

[Billy Crystal]

And then I move to California, playing places, doing pretty well. And then I get soap.

[Sona Movsesian]

You get soap.

[Billy Crystal]

But, you know, so now I'm playing one character, which I really, really enjoyed. Learned a lot. Great cast, controversial show and character.

[Sona Movsesian]

Really brilliant, though. I mean, way ahead of its time, way, way.

[Billy Crystal]

And really one of the real geniuses that I ever met that was Susan Harris, who wrote the first 68 episodes by herself. Wow. Amazing. But I kept looking back at 8H going, that's where I should have been. And, you know, I was having a successful time, but I wasn't. I didn't feel like myself. Then I did my first HBO special in 79 that did very well and another one in 84 that also did very well. And then Dick episode called and said, would you host? And I did two that year and that summer. He called me and said, listen, I got an idea. If I could get Chris Guest and Marty and Harry Shearer, would you come for a year? I said, let me think about it. Yes. I just knew it was the right thing. And we packed up the kids and we moved to New York and I had the time of my life and I felt like I was where I was supposed to be, but now I was supposed to be there. You know, it all felt right.

[Sona Movsesian]

I don't know if feel. You've got a lot of moments to remember, but I think I had. I think I'm doing the late night show. But there's an anniversary special for snl and I don't know if it was an anniversary special for SNL or maybe a salute to NBC50. I don't know, there was some salute something. You came out as your Fernando. Fernando came out.

[Billy Crystal]

It was the 25th anniversary.

[Sona Movsesian]

It was the 25th. Okay. But what I remember is that you come out and Gary Busey is in the audience.

[Billy Crystal]

Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

And Gary Busey, who's, you know, been through some stuff. Gary Busey suddenly thinks that it's okay for him to just shout out on this live tribute show to Fernando. And he starts heckling you.

[Billy Crystal]

Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

And you start talking. It was so funny because it was live television and you don't see that on snl. You don't see.

[Billy Crystal]

He came towards me. Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

I was there. I was sitting in the crowd.

[Billy Crystal]

I'm doing this little thing and I think I had a minute 45 scheduled and it's going well. And I look out and I'm picking up people and I say, well, Gary Busey, you're alive, you're alive. And he got mad and he came towards the set and I had to.

[Sona Movsesian]

Respond and starts walking. And then you were doing a great job of having fun with it.

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

You were so funny and in the moment. And it was electric because you thought, I don't know where this is going, this either. Maybe you'll get choked out. I don't know what's going to happen. But you were making it really funny and in the moment. And I thought, this is. I don't see this in 8h a lot. Sometimes there has to be some improvisation that has to be.

[Billy Crystal]

Well, the thing about Fernando was they were all improvised.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

All the hideaways that we did was so Much fun because I wasn't sure what I was going to say until I said it. And the Hideaway set would roll out right in front of the audience, right where the news usually is, right? And it was the booth and all that stuff. And the audience could see that the cue card guys went away. So it was just me talking to whoever the host would be. Oh, we had Hulk Hogan and Mr. T, which was very funny. And then Barry Manilow was scheduled to be the to come. He was playing Radio Cinemusical and he was scheduled to be the guest on the Hideaway. At 10 after 11, he calls Dick Ibisol and said he's not coming. He's too scared. He doesn't want to be made fun of. He's nervous about improvising. So he decides he's not coming. So we have a six minute slot. So I'm looking around and I see one of our camera guys. His name is Bobby Ferraccio. Bobby. Did you know Bobby?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yep.

[Billy Crystal]

All right. Bobby weighed about 400 pounds. He was a large man. And I went over to him and I said, Bobby, this crazy idea. Manilow just canceled. Why? No, no, no, calm down.

[Sona Movsesian]

Goddamn Manilow.

[Billy Crystal]

Would you come into the Hideaway with me and play him? And I'll introduce the fact that he's not there, but I can't disappoint my fans and we'll just do it. And he goes, do I get paid extra? I said, ask Dick. I don't know.

[Sona Movsesian]

He says, okay.

[Billy Crystal]

And so we did it. And it was really funny and he was just so delightful and, and real and real. And it just. They were all just so spontaneous. That's what the show was supposed to be. And that's the world I love to live in. And that's so I, you know, my year there, for me, I used everything in my toothpaste that I had. You know, I just loved every second of it. But that was an example of really being comfortable and confident with myself. And Bobby was great. And then we thought, well, what about for the rest of the season? Nobody shows up and it's always Bobby, you know? And he said, no. My neighbors killed me, Bill. My neighbors killed me. He starts singing, I write the songs, he starts singing stuff. So it's really delightful. It was great.

[Sona Movsesian]

You know what's funny? I was thinking about this too. Before you came today, which is media entertainment has changed so much. People used to all be on the same page, for better or worse. I think when you were early on, hosting the Oscars was maybe one of the last times when you've got the right guy doing the job. But it's not just that you got the right person doing the job, but you also have. Everybody's on the same page. It's tougher now, I think, because I watch a lot of movies and oftentimes when I'm watching and I'm in entertainment and I haven't seen seven of the things they're talking about. Whereas when I think about the shows, when you were hosting, you had amazing, great material, you're very comfortable, you're in charge of the room. But also everybody's gathered around the campfire, and it felt like a time that might not come back.

[Billy Crystal]

I agree. Because people were going to movies and there were movie stars, real movie stars. We didn't have streaming. We didn't have anything else. You went to the movie theater. And when I started doing the show, I was now part of the movie world. I had hosted the Grammys three years prior to that, and then one after the other, had a couple of really good, you know, movie hits that I earned my way to the show.

[Sona Movsesian]

You don't have to have movie hits anymore.

[Billy Crystal]

No.

[Sona Movsesian]

That was. You put a pressure on yourself that. I mean, God bless you for having those and for doing that. But it's. I mean, also when Carson was hosting the Oscars, which he did many times, he had never had a movie hit before. So you put a pressure on yourself that was unnecessary.

[Billy Crystal]

Right.

[Sona Movsesian]

I wish I had been there to tell you I was way too young and you wouldn't have known who I was.

[Billy Crystal]

But you're that kid from Universal, right?

[Sona Movsesian]

You don't have to do it, Billy.

[Billy Crystal]

The coffee. The coffee was cold. It was. That first time was really special. I had been a presenter the year before in the terrible show. This was a non host. Rob Lowe singing. I was a presenter.

[Sona Movsesian]

You're still hiding out from that one.

[Billy Crystal]

I was a presenter on that show and it went pretty well. And then they asked me to do it. But I remember feeling not nervous. I was actually excited to go out there. Cause we had good stuff.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

And I had one writer, Robert Wall.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

Bob Wall, who's a very good actor, too. He's actually in the SNL movie. He plays Davey Wilson. Okay. It was just he and I, and we had done the three Grammys together, and we had a great way to, you know, to work together. It was just us. And it was just like, let's get out there. Cause we felt really confident, you know, when you would do your show and you'd do a monologue. You knew your jokes were really good.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, I don't.

[Billy Crystal]

You never felt that?

[Sona Movsesian]

I think you forgot who you're talking to, but. No, I know. I do know the feeling of. I think this stuff is really good. And I'm excited to go out.

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah. And I'm prepared. And I remember walking out there and Nicholson was right there in the front, who would later become like my partner on the show. Yeah, yeah. And we wrote jokes about him because he had made that huge deal for the Batman thing and he made the Joker and he made like a 40, $50 million something.

[Sona Movsesian]

Right.

[Billy Crystal]

It was one of those pay me later things. And we did jokes about him. Jack is so wealthy. Morgan Freeman drove him here tonight.

[Sona Movsesian]

And the great thing is he's laughing.

[Billy Crystal]

Oh, big time.

[Sona Movsesian]

See, that's the thing too, is that having the great joke and going after an icon of that status, but then they're laughing. That's magic.

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah. And I did.

[Sona Movsesian]

Because they don't always laugh.

[Billy Crystal]

No. I said, you know, Jack's so rich. I remember the sequence. Jack is so rich. He bought land in Japan. Jack is so rich. Morgan Freeman, German. And the last one was. And I said to the audience, I got one more if you want it. And he was just. And that was relaxing me.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

I said, jack is so rich. John Peters still cuts his hair now. John Peters was the head of the.

[Sona Movsesian]

Studio who had been a hairdresser. Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

And. And it was just. It was going just great. And there's an 18 minute gap we call the Rosemary woods gap in the show, where it's sound effects, editing and there's no host. So I had. I'm in my dressing room and I'm getting a sandwich, fix my makeup and all this stuff. And then. Who is it? It's Jack and Warren. So I go, jack and Warren who? Yeah. So open it. It's Warren Beatty and Jackson. And I said, did you upset. Are you kidding me? Thanks for talking about my money, kid. And he said, I just want to say one thing. It's great you're doing this. Keep it doing. Keep doing it. And we just. It's just so important that you're here and we love you both. Both of us just want you to have a great rest of the show. And we're going to have a little thing later at the Hacienda, if you want to come by. I'd say he's got a hacienda.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

I never knew anyone had a hacienda. I thought only in Zorro did somebody Have a hacienda. But that was the most. It was the most selfless, wonderful feeling that it had connected with him. It was great.

[Sona Movsesian]

You've had a lot of these fun, crazy moments that you sometimes must wake up and think, wait a minute. Did that happen?

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah, I know, I know.

[Sona Movsesian]

Did that really happen?

[Billy Crystal]

I had another one that was. I'm introducing Bob Hope is in the audience. And Bob, at that point, could not hear very well. I did not know that. And he's sitting next to his wife. And I said, you know, this is my. Whatever time it was, sixth or seventh, I've done nine something. And I said, bob, I'm just renting your house for a while. You know, just. Ladies and gentlemen, the great Bob Hope. And he knows the camera's on him. They're roving through the audience with the mini cam on. And he knows and knows. And then the camera goes away. And he looks at me and he slips me the finger, just fooling, just like, thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Sona Movsesian]

Like that.

[Billy Crystal]

And I just cracked. And it was just so great. The next day, I get a handwritten note delivered to my house, which I have framed at home from Bob Hope. Very nice things. He said, you could do this, you could do that and that. And he said, but why didn't you call me to play your brother in Mr. Saturday Night? I would have saved you a fortune on makeup. Keep doing it, Bob. That's great things.

[Sona Movsesian]

You know, I was thinking, you have this other aspect of your career, which is you've been able to. You were able to befriend your sports idols. I mean, you became very friendly with Ali. Yes, the face, you could argue the face of sports in the 20th century. I mean, who's a bigger sports icon than Muhammad Ali? For so many reasons.

[Billy Crystal]

Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

And I know that you became close with Mickey Mantle, who you grew up idolizing. What I didn't know is that you became friends with Yogi Berra.

[Billy Crystal]

Oh, yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

I didn't realize that.

[Billy Crystal]

Hey, kid. How you doing, kid? Yeah, you know, don't work so hard. You work too hard, kid. Yeah. He came to opening night of 700 Sundays on Broadway the first time, which is now on November 5th. It'll be 20 years. Wow. Crazy. And we became friendly and through Joe Torrey, who's one of my best friends now, I'd be around them all the time, either working out. I was a pretty good baseball player for a while, and then Joe would have me work out with the guys, and Yogi was there. We'd have dinners together. He'd call me on my birthday. He was the sweetest, most beautiful guy, an amazing character. You know, he was a D day when he was 19 years old.

[Sona Movsesian]

I did know that. Yeah. Unbelievable.

[Billy Crystal]

You know, he had, like, two sides of his character. One, he was an amazing baseball player. But two, most of the new generation knew him as the Affleck guy, you know, with the duck and funny and little. You know, he's the little old guy.

[Sona Movsesian]

Who talks funny, who says malapropisms and. Yeah, exactly.

[Billy Crystal]

When you come to the fork on the road, take it. You know, that stuff. It gets laid early out there. You know, it's.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

And he had the greatest. He's the greatest catcher in history of baseball. His stats are insane.

[Sona Movsesian]

He's also interesting because there's a documentary about him recently that made the point that he didn't look the way a baseball player was supposed to look. I mean, Ted Williams looked like a movie star. Mickey Mantle looked like a movie star. All these guys look like what they're supposed to be. Yogi Berra doesn't look like an athlete.

[Billy Crystal]

No.

[Sona Movsesian]

He didn't look like he belonged anywhere.

[Billy Crystal]

No.

[Sona Movsesian]

Maybe in the back of, like, a shop where he's, like, slicing up ham or something. Everyone's got the big villain in their life. You know who mine is?

[Billy Crystal]

Who?

[Sona Movsesian]

The person in my house that opens a vanilla yogurt a little bit, takes, like, one or two spoonfuls, and then closes that foil back up again.

[Adam Sacks]

This is so passive aggressive because it's just you and your wife. Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

Gotcha, baby. I need just a little for my smoothie. Take the whole thing and leave it alone. It's not that big. She's the villain in my life. How do you sleep at night, honey? Well, you already know the answer. Mattress Firm. Mattress Firm will find you the right bed with their wide selection of quality mattresses at every price. Rest easy with Mattress Firm's 120 night sleep trial. Love it or your money back. You can sleep on this for 120 nights and then say maybe not and ship it back. I don't think so. You're gonna love it. See a lower price somewhere else. Mattress Firm will match it with their low price guarantee.

[Billy Crystal]

Wow.

[Sona Movsesian]

Get matched at Mattress Firm's Black Friday sale and sleep at night. Restrictions apply. See mattressfirm.com or store for details and text CONAN to 766693 for 100 bucks off your next purchase at mattress fir. Exclusions apply. This holiday season's almost here. Hey, Sona. You ready to celebrate?

[Adam Sacks]

I sure am.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, guess what? There's still time to create space for overnight guests with all the comforts of home, even the surprise ones. It's those surprise guests. Yeah, that sometimes show up. Hey, it's Uncle Buddy Boy. You didn't think I was coming? Oh, hi, Uncle Buddy Boy. I'm gonna stay here for nine weeks.

[Adam Sacks]

Nine weeks?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, and I take seven baths a day. Anyway, check out sleep products to make the guest room the best room. And dining solutions to help set a table that has space for family, friends, and unexpected side dishes like Uncle Buddy Boy. Shop now by visiting in stores or online at ikea-usa.com for special offers and new items. God, I love football season. I love the rituals of football.

[Adam Sacks]

Like what?

[Sona Movsesian]

Don't do that. What are you talking about? From defending your favorite team after a bad loss to obsessively checking your fantasy lineups. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Football fandom is bigger than just Sundays. And you know who knows that? Miller Lite. Miller Lite knows the passion that comes with rooting for your team. That's why Miller Lite keeps it simple, undebatable, quality. You can try and debate it. That debate won't last long. You'll lose Miller Lite. You'll lose great taste. Only 96 calories. It's the beer that strips away everything you don't need and holds on to what matters most. Who says, hey, get me a beer with everything I don't need in it? Nobody. It's the original light beer since 1975. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Red Sox won the pennant that year.

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

Make your game time taste like Miller time. Tastes great. Less filling. Let it be both. Why fight? You know, there's enough fighting in America.

[Adam Sacks]

You can have both. There's space for both.

[Sona Movsesian]

Thanks, Sona. To get Miller Lite delivered right to your door, visit millerlight.com conan or you can find it pretty much anywhere that sells beer. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories per 12 ounces. Fewer cals and carbs than premium regular beer. You know, I was thinking about you got to know Ali well, and Ali really enjoyed you. Yes, he really enjoyed you. You did a fantastic impression of him. And he loved that. And that was. That created a bond.

[Billy Crystal]

Yes, it was the first time that I really was on television. As a standup was a local. A local special only seen in New York, Connecticut and Pennsylvania. It was produced by Sport magazine. A great writer. There was the later became a great friend named Dick Schapp. Dick was a great sports writer and journalist and amazing man. It's really a story about fate and about destiny. Ali beats George Foreman. He's 33 years old and he's named as the Sport Magazine man of the Year. So they're gonna have this special for him at the Plaza Hotel. So Dick calls my agent, Pat Lee.

[Sona Movsesian]

Who would later produce, who gave me my first job.

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah, yeah. Looking for Robert Klein, because Robert did a lot of great sports stuff. And she said, well, gee, Robert's out of town, but I have this new kid. He does this really good little three minute Ali Cosell thing that might be perfect for you, Dick. Dick goes, sounds great. Tell him Friday night, be there at the Plaza Hotel around 6:30. The show's going to start at 8, the dinner's at 7. And give me his phone number. So I am literally feeding my daughter, who I just told you about. We went fly fishing together yesterday. Yeah, yeah. And I'm feeding her and my. And Pat calls me and said, dick Schapp's gonna call you. And why. I knew Dick. He was the Ed McMahon of the. Joe Namath had a talk show.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

And he.

[Sona Movsesian]

And this is back when Joe Namath could have a talk show.

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

It was a different time.

[Billy Crystal]

And he's gonna call. I said, wife. It's a dinner on Ali. And so on. So it's gonna be televised. And so I said, really? And then taking oatmeal off her cheek. Phone rings. Hey, Billy's Dick Shap. Would you like to hear the invitation? No, no, no. Here, it's great. Really. It's good over the phone, you know, that's how I like. No, no, it's fine. So we get a babysitter. Janice and I drive into the Plaza Hotel. And I thought it was supposed to be a tuxedo for some reason. And I. Everyone does business suits. I looked. I really look stupid in this little makeshift tuxedo I've got. And Janice and I walk in holding hands, looking like two people who had just come to America. And I meet Dick. He couldn't have been more charming and said, janice, you'll sit with me. Billy, you're going to sit two seats from Ali on a dais. And I look at Ali and there he's. The first time I saw him in person. And it was like, you know, he was the sun and everybody was revolving around him. It was insane. It was a Scorsese shot. Everyone else was in slow motion as I walked closely, you know, up to the dais and got there was like this tracking shot. I'm just looking at him. And I sit down, and I'm in between Archie Griffin, who had just won the Heisman Award, and Gino Marchetti, who was the defensive end for the Baltimore Colts. Because not only was Ali the Sport Magazine man of the Year, all of these people were the man of the Year in their individual sports, Plus Neil Simon and George Plimpton. So. Oh, my God. So now I'm sitting there, and Ali looks over and he's like, he knows everybody except me. I didn't even know me. I mean, I'm still substitute teaching during the day for $43.50 and working at Catch A Rising Star at night. And Dick says to me before I sat down, how shall I introduce you? Dick just say, here's one of his closest and dearest friends. And I'll walk to the podium and I'll go right into, hello, everyone. How it'll just make sense, and I won't have to talk as myself. It'll be okay. I'll be in character. I'll be fine. So, you know, as I said, Ali's looking at me, probably thinking, what the hell is Joel Gray doing here?

[Sona Movsesian]

He's not looking so good.

[Billy Crystal]

So he says my name. I walk up, I go right into the co sell of it. And I get heckled in the audience by Ali's. One of his trainers. His name is Drew Bundini Brown. And he starts. I don't know what, he's yelling. Hello, everyone. Howard Cosell coming to you live from Zaire.

[Sona Movsesian]

You got a man. That's what heckles sound like. You never know what they're saying.

[Billy Crystal]

I got this, Bondini. I've got this.

[Sona Movsesian]

Now you got it.

[Billy Crystal]

So I get in there. Finally, I get to Muhammad. Come over. Muhammad, come over. How did you knock out George Foreman? How do you feel? Everybody's talking about Joe Fraser. I'm gonna talk about Joe Fraser. And then it goes on. And they go crazy.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

And it finishes. I'm announcing tonight I'm changing my name. Cause I got new religious beliefs. I wanna be known now as Izzy Yiskowitz. Izzy Chaim Yskowitz. Cause Chaim, the greatest of all time. It's Jewish boxing. Jewish boxing. You don't hit the men. You just make them feel guilty. Get in the clutch. I said to him, when's the last time you spoke to your mother? He goes, oh, Jesus. Boom. I gave him a Zet, solid base, Gimel, Gollum, you know.

[Adam Sacks]

Boom.

[Billy Crystal]

It finishes. And then Dick says, my real Name, Big applause. Ali holds me in his arms and whispers into my ear, you're now my little brother. And that's what he called me for 42 years. And we would. He lived not far from here in the Fremont place, I think it's called. And it was later they shot the Rocky movie. That was his house there. It's not far from here. And he'd call me up, and it was never Bill. It was always little brother, what are you doing? You want to run with me tomorrow to golf course? I run golf courses over Wilshire golf course. I said, muhammad, they won't let me there. I'm Jewish. They don't. It's segregated. It's restricted. No Jews allowed. He goes, what? I'm a black Muslim, and they let me run there, and I'm not gonna ride there again. So he never ran there again.

[Sona Movsesian]

Wow.

[Billy Crystal]

So we would have all of these events over the years. He would be there. He came at my 50th birthday party and surprised me and walked out in front of everybody and did. It was just. It was crazy.

[Sona Movsesian]

Didn't you guys go to Cosell's funeral together?

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah. And I was sitting at Howard's funeral.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

And they meant everything to each other, you know, Howard, for all of his pomposity, sided with Ali when Muhammad refused to go into the service. And he kept him going and fought for him and in some ways, helped the Supreme Court overturn his conviction. And they meant a lot to each other. So I'm sitting next to him, and Alisa whispers to me. He goes, hey, little brother, you think he's wearing his hairpiece? So now I lose it. I lose it. I'm just gone. It's like, you know, somebody farted in church. That's what this is like.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

Oh, my God. I'm laughing. I'm laughing. I'm laughing. And I said, I don't think so. He says, well, how will God recognize him? I said, once he opens his mouth, he'll know. So this went on. This went on and on. And now we age. We all age. And I get a call that he's not going to make it through that weekend. And so Lonnie, his unbelievable wife, says, listen, it's going to be a memorial in Louisville. Muhammad wanted you to be one of the eulogists. I said, oh, my God. Can you come? I said, of course we'll come. So we fly there. It's very emotional. It's an arena of 17,000 people. That day, they paraded the casket through town, and people ran after it, the way that people looked at the train with Robert Kennedy's casket flying by and just. I mean, and I'm sitting there waiting to go on. President Clinton's on my left, and Janice is on my right, and we're still holding hands. And I'm thinking to myself, what if Robert Klein was in town all those years ago?

[Sona Movsesian]

Or what if you had been on SNL? What if you had gotten on that night, October 11, 1975, you still. Because you're you. You make it, but it's different. This is. How could it have gone better than it went?

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah. That's why I so value my time now, because my choices get more interesting, because they're more limited just because of time. All right, what do I do? If I could do that, I would do that. If I had a chance to do that, I would do that. That's why when I developed this show called before for Apple, with my great friend, an amazing writer named Eric Roth. And then we found this phenomenal writer named Sarah Thorpe, who really created the show from our initial ideas about this pediatric psychiatrist who I play, who's dealing with this troubled little boy who is Noah. Yeah, he's really a savant. He's mute a lot. He can draw what he can talk about, and I have to draw him out. And he shows up one day out of the blue. My wife had committed suicide. I'm mourning her. How did this happen? Why did this happen?

[Sona Movsesian]

Why is this kid here?

[Billy Crystal]

And why does this kid just show up on my doorstep, scratches his name into my front door, and the show goes off from there? And why him? Why me? And it's. I'm so proud of this show. And it's.

[Sona Movsesian]

This is what, you know, you talk about these trajectories. We live in an era now. There's positives. You can say there's positives, there's negatives. It's just what it is. I think one of the things that's very positive about this time we're in is that I think people used to get pigeonholed more for star. So if a star, like you said, I want to make this series that is about some really dark material, and it's got a lot of mystery to it, but this is. We're gonna get great actors, we're gonna get great cinematographer, and we're gonna shoot this series. I think there would have been a time where they said, well, no, you're Billy Crystal. We're not gonna let you do that. That's not what. But what we want you to do is this sitcom we've got where you're Uncle Goofy. You know, this is clearly. I saw the first three episodes. Let me see the first three episodes, which I loved. And it is quite different, I think, from anything you've done before.

[Billy Crystal]

Oh, yeah. I've always tried to straddle that. You know, coming off of three really funny movies in a row. Throw Mama from the Train, Harry Met Sally and City Slickers. Those were, like, really good, funny movies. And then I did Mr. Saturday Night, which to me is still one of my favorite things that I've done as a film. But it was risky because he's not a likable character. The movie is really funny, but it gets hard, it gets edgy, and it didn't open. And that was tough to take at the time, but. So I've always tried to try to do. I don't want to be pigeonholed.

[Sona Movsesian]

But also, even in When Harry Met Sally, you're invested. The movie works because you guys are invested in it as actors. So you're not just playing it for laughs.

[Billy Crystal]

No, it was a great script. Nora Ephron, rest in Peace, Rob. Such.

[Sona Movsesian]

I'm gonna say, rest in peace, even though I saw him two nights ago. Rob, rest in peace. We're thinking of you, Rob.

[Billy Crystal]

Perfect. Perfect director for that material, especially. We're best friends. But pushing that aside to say, I'm not playing you. I gotta play this guy. And working on that with and Meg and Bruno and Carrie, that was a. It's a great story. It's great. It was an amazing experience. And it holds up still.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

And new people find it all the time. My granddaughter, who just graduated school, would you.

[Sona Movsesian]

From the place where we saw each other.

[Billy Crystal]

You're right.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah. It's a juvenile detention facility. Both our kids went there.

[Billy Crystal]

They didn't know that I was her grandfather. So there was a film class she was taking, and they showed the movie and, you know, then they go, oh, my God. She hadn't seen it before. And it was like a whole renaissance kind of thing. Would you come to the school and talk to us? And, you know, it's really interesting that it's that movie in particular. And City Slickers, too, is. They're evergreens. Yeah. You know, and new people keep discovering them. And that's great. That's very thrilling.

[Sona Movsesian]

You know, you're never supposed to. If you're a prosecutor. I feel like a prosecutor right now. You're never supposed to ask a question you don't know the answer to. Is this a series where there could be a season two. Or does it culminate at the end of the first season?

[Billy Crystal]

This culminates. We're talking about. Where does doctor.

[Sona Movsesian]

Because your character, Eli is a good character.

[Billy Crystal]

We're talking about. A new Apple's already hinting around. What could we do next? We love this.

[Sona Movsesian]

They're gonna turn you into a phone. That's what they're gonna do.

[Billy Crystal]

It's the most difficult part I've ever had to play. It gets. Boy, I'm just dying to tell you everything. Cause I'm so excited about it.

[Sona Movsesian]

What's such a Terrific cast, too?

[Billy Crystal]

Great cast. Rosie Perez, Judith Light. Judith Light, Rosie Perez. I'm leaving out somebody.

[Sona Movsesian]

I'm gonna show up next.

[Billy Crystal]

Cole Davis.

[Sona Movsesian]

I'll be in the next season.

[Billy Crystal]

And this amazing young boy.

[Sona Movsesian]

He's terrific. Yeah, he's great.

[Billy Crystal]

Jacoby.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

He's 10. He plays eight. That's how good he is.

[Sona Movsesian]

I swore he was nine. That kid's a magician.

[Billy Crystal]

Am I right? And you were shocked.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

You were shocked.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah. Well, he's had a lot of work done.

[Billy Crystal]

Yeah. And if you need. If you need the number of his doctor.

[Sona Movsesian]

I do.

[Billy Crystal]

All right.

[Sona Movsesian]

Clearly, I do.

[Billy Crystal]

Jacoby Juke. Yeah. J U P E. He's phenomenal.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

And we have moments together that are so difficult to play.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

We have five directors during the season, and they would come up to him and say, we're gonna change the blocking, the camera. Where the camera's going, so why don't we rehearse one time? And he goes, no, I've got it.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God.

[Billy Crystal]

I'd rather not rehearse.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's incredible. He can do that. I can't do that. They lead me in here with peanut butter. There you go. And then.

[Billy Crystal]

He's so good. He's so good, this kid.

[Sona Movsesian]

The show is called Before. It's on Apple TV plus, and it's a limited series, but it's really brilliant. And I've said this before, but we started doing this podcast, as you remember, Sona, just as a fun thing, because I didn't know what a podcast was. And it was an opportunity. I realized very quickly. I get to sit and talk to people who I really admire, who've had these brilliant careers. And I get to talk to them for an hour about all the things I want to find out. And it's a mitzvah, as the Irish say.

[Billy Crystal]

Well, is there anything else you'd like to find out? I have a good parking spot, so I can stay a little bit Longer.

[Sona Movsesian]

This has been an absolute joy. It really has. Thank you so much.

[Billy Crystal]

Well, can I change what I said in the beginning?

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay. We've never done this, but you'll be the first.

[Billy Crystal]

Hi, my name is Billy Crystal, and I feel great about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, that's terrific.

[Billy Crystal]

Did I go soft? Is that too soft?

[Sona Movsesian]

You went too soft. And you know what? You lost the hardcore edgy audience. You know, the punk rockers, they've left.

[Billy Crystal]

The altar. Rockers.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, exactly. Billy, really, thank you for being here and congrats on everything.

[Billy Crystal]

Thank you, man. You know, before we go, Conan and I did.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

Tell we.

[Sona Movsesian]

We were lovers.

[Billy Crystal]

We together were in the Yankee dressing room at Yankee Stadium.

[Sona Movsesian]

Let me back it up just a little and then I'll pass it back to you, which is Billy is going to come on the show back in the day doing the late night show. I'm very excited. I'm not sure Billy had been on before. And I'm like, this is great. Billy Crystal's coming on. I'm excited about the whole thing. That day we get a call, would Conan. I believe, or maybe it was the night before, but it might have been that day. Does Conan want to come? Billy had an idea he might like to go to. He knows Conan likes to do things in the field. Would Conan want to go with Billy to Yankee Stadium? Shoot it and we'll get it on the. We'll edit it and get it on the air that night.

[Billy Crystal]

Right.

[Sona Movsesian]

We said yes. The next thing you know, I'm in a van racing to Yankee Stadium. And then you take it away.

[Billy Crystal]

We go into the locker room and Conan goes through Darryl Shrubbery's mail.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah. Which is illegal, by the way.

[Billy Crystal]

He's not just reading open fan letters, he's opening envelopes.

[Sona Movsesian]

I'm opening envelopes. Billy's like, I'm not sure. And I'm like, I got it, Billy. And of course, we also went in. I'm, you know, grew up in Boston. Lifetime. Boston Red Sox fan, like a jackass. I'm wearing a T shirt with a Red Sox jersey over it, Right. You lead me into the clubhouse. There's Joe Torre.

[Billy Crystal]

Right?

[Sona Movsesian]

Joe Torre probably doesn't watch late night tv. Not quite sure. He thinks you brought Jane lynch in. So you walk in, he's like, billy. And I remember he was on an exercise machine. That's right, he's on an exercise. She goes, and we got cameras. And he's like, billy, great to see you. And he looks over and he looks at me and I've never seen. He sees this asshole in the cathedral.

[Adam Sacks]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

And I'm wearing a Red Sox jersey. And all he knows is that if I was not with Billy, I'd have been immediately murdered.

[Billy Crystal]

You might have been.

[Sona Movsesian]

He just would have pushed a button and I would have been murdered. But we had a.

[Billy Crystal]

It was fun.

[Sona Movsesian]

We had a blast. We chopped it up. We got it on the air that night, and still I hear from people about it. Mostly about a crime I committed. But, yeah. Billy, thank you. I can't thank you enough for being here.

[Billy Crystal]

Oh, I loved it. I loved it.

[Sona Movsesian]

And you're welcome back here anytime. Thank you and congratulations on the show.

[Billy Crystal]

Thank you.

[Sona Movsesian]

And congratulations on everything.

[Billy Crystal]

It's been a trip, man. And more to come. That's the. You know, I'm gonna be 77. Did I just say that? Next March. And, boy, I just look forward to more and more and more stuff to do.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Billy Crystal]

You know.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, also, you look good. Whatever you're doing, Whatever. I know that you and Marty. Short or tight? Every time Marty sees me, it's one of my favorite lines. He says, conan, my boy, whatever you're having done, whatever work you're having done, I say 20% more and then stop.

[Billy Crystal]

Oh, he's, you know, we. I love him to pieces.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes, he's a ridiculous. He's a ridiculous imp. But Billy, God bless, thanks for doing this. Appreciate it.

[Matt Gourley]

Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley produced by me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sacks, Jeff Ross and Nick Leo. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples, engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail] Conan and if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend. Wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[Billy Crystal]

Running a small business takes endurance, determination and the right support to reach your goals. And MasterCard is here to help fuel that journey in a fast paced digital world with innovative tools and resources. We're here to guide businesses every step of the way digitally. Because when small business wins, everyone wins. Let's power up our community one small business and one step at a time, keeping the community running strong. Priceless.

[Sona Movsesian]

The new Sonic Queso Smasher is now available. You're going to want to try this. They made the sonic smasher you love because you do love your sonic smasher, don't you, Sonic?

[Adam Sacks]

I love sonic smashes and I love queso.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, well, guess what? They took the sonic smasher you love and they added the new creamy queso in hand smash patties made to order.

[Adam Sacks]

Just makes my brain explode.

[Sona Movsesian]

I just saw your brain explode. And queso came out. The Sonic queso smash is the perfect combination of Angus Patty's creamy queso jalapenos and a southwest aioli. Sounds like juicy goodness to me. All that's left to do is choose a double or a triple. Make mine two triples. That's a sex tuplet. The new Sonic Queso Smasher. Live free. Eat sonic.