Cōnānus et Jordānēs Show - Luke Ranieri

Summary

Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend: "Cōnānus et Jordānēs Show - Luke Ranieri"

Release Date: June 13, 2025

Hosts: Conan O’Brien, Jordan Schlansky
Guest: Luke Ranieri
Produced by: Team Coco & Earwolf

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Introduction: A Playful Banter Begins [00:00 - 02:11]

The episode kicks off with Conan O’Brien passionately defending the tropical island of Aruba, humorously emphasizing its unique blend of desert and ocean elements. Amidst playful jabs and mock advertisements for pistachios and cereals, Conan and Jordan set the stage for their trademark dynamic. Their lighthearted exchange quickly transitions into a humorous misstep with an unexpected rendition of Rush's "Tom Sawyer" by Mindless Self Indulgence, highlighting the hosts' improvisational chemistry.

Conan O'Brien [00:03]: "Aruba isn't just a tropical island. It's Mother Nature showing off. It really is."

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Food Coloring and Cultural Preferences [05:18 - 11:22]

The conversation shifts to Jordan's pet peeve: artificial food coloring. Jordan elucidates the differences between American and European food coloring standards, advocating for natural alternatives. Conan humorously counters with his affection for brightly colored cereals like Froot Loops, even integrating playful debates over spelling and pronunciation.

Jordan Schlansky [05:31]: "They have more stringent requirements about limiting the types of artificial coloring that's used in our food."

Conan O'Brien [08:07]: "I love Froot Loops. Any box you buy today will exist in its intact form 10,000 years from now and will be edible."

The discussion delves into the implications of Robert Kennedy Jr.'s potential ban on artificial dyes in the U.S., blending current events with their personal preferences in a humorous yet informative manner.

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Introducing the Guest: Luke Ranieri [19:00 - 22:44]

Seeking expertise on pronunciation, Conan introduces Luke Ranieri, a linguistics enthusiast known for his YouTube channel "Polymothy." Luke’s passion for classical and ecclesiastical Latin, as well as ancient Greek, sets the foundation for an engaging segment on pronunciation.

Conan O'Brien [19:07]: "There are times where I'm convinced he's wrong. He thought instead of tango, the word was tongo."

Luke Ranieri [20:21]: "I just fell in love with Italian and then later Latin. ... I studied that."

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Pronunciation Showdown: Conan, Jordan, and Luke [23:00 - 34:04]

A lively pronunciation game ensues, pitting Conan and Jordan against Luke. The trio tackles historical names and mythological figures, showcasing Luke's expertise and the hosts' comedic attempts.

1. Julius Caesar:

   • Conan [34:27]: "Marcus Juniors."
   • Jordan [34:54]: "Marcus Junius Brutus."
   • Luke: Offers classical pronunciations, awarding points to accuracy.

2. Portia:

   • Jordan [35:55]: "Portia."
   • Conan [36:07]: Mimics playful mockery, highlighting social awkwardness in precise pronunciation.

3. Virgil (Virgilius):

   • Conan [37:04]: "Virgilius."
   • Luke: Confirms accuracy, commending Conan's effort.

4. Horatio (Horatius):

   • Conan [37:58]: "Horatius."
   • Jordan: Details Odysseus’ adventures, blending historical insights with humor.

5. Odysseus:

   • Conan [38:31]: Attempts classical pronunciation amidst humorous anecdotes about modern misunderstandings.

Throughout the game, the interplay between factual language insights and comedic relief keeps the conversation both educational and entertaining.

Luke Ranieri [35:25]: "Et U. Brute is a... And also there's one account where he just went, what the fuck?"

Conan O'Brien [39:02]: "If you were on the street... you'd just rave like an absolute fucking lunatic."

---

Social Dynamics and Personal Jabs [34:04 - 42:04]

As the pronunciation game concludes, Conan and Jordan reflect on their unique friendship. Conan appreciates Jordan’s contributions, albeit with his characteristic sarcasm, while Jordan maintains his stoic demeanor.

Conan O'Brien [41:01]: "I'd like to meet them."

Jordan Schlansky [40:43]: "I have nothing to say right now."

The segment underscores the hosts' enduring yet unconventional camaraderie, blending mutual respect with ongoing banter.

---

Guest Appreciation and Final Thoughts [41:04 - 42:05]

Conan extends heartfelt thanks to Luke Ranieri, praising his knowledge and amiable nature. He encourages listeners to explore Luke's YouTube channel, "Polymothy," fostering a sense of community and shared appreciation for linguistic enthusiasts.

Conan O'Brien [41:21]: "You seem like a very affable fellow. And so I wish you all the best."

The episode wraps up with Conan and Jordan acknowledging their distinct personalities, reiterating the show's blend of humor, friendship, and intellectual discourse.

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Conclusion: A Unique Blend of Humor and Insight

This episode of Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend masterfully balances comedy with educational content. Through spirited discussions on topics ranging from food coloring regulations to the intricacies of classical pronunciation, Conan, Jordan, and guest Luke Ranieri create an engaging and entertaining narrative. Notable for its blend of playful jabs and genuine appreciation, the episode offers listeners both laughter and learning, embodying the essence of Conan’s quest for meaningful friendships.

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Notable Quotes:

• Conan O'Brien [08:09]: "I have long been a Froot Loops fan."

• Jordan Schlansky [05:31]: "It's like the UN incredible cuisine, locals so friendly you'll wonder if they're confusing you for someone important."

• Luke Ranieri [20:21]: "I wanted to speak an ancient language, I wanted to figure out how it's actually pronounced."

---

Accessing the Podcast:
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Transcript

[Conan O'Brien]

Aruba isn't just a tropical island. It's Mother Nature showing off. It really is.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm sick of people saying Aruba tropical island. No, it's more than that. I'm passionate about this. The desert climate means beaches and cacti. That means more than one cactus. It's like the ocean and the desert had a perfect baby. The weather, always perfect. Sunny skies, cooling breezes, no jib jabs, no jubjubs. Aruba's got postcard worthy white sand beaches like Eagle beach, just named TripAdvisor's best beach of 2025. Oh, snap. Can you snap that any better? You don't think you can. Plus Aruba's got over 100 nationalities. 100 nationalities. It's like the UN incredible cuisine, locals so friendly you'll wonder if they're confusing you for someone important. I'm telling you, when you go to Aruba, you feel like a king and or queen. Show Aruba some love and Aruba will love you right back. Plan your next [e-mail] ever crave something tasty but feel like you should eat something healthy instead? Do you ever do that, Sona? All the time. Because I always eat unhealthy stuff. Well, guess what? Now you don't have to compromise. Wonderful pistachios that don't hold back snack. Yeah, you know, pistachios taste great. Check these out. They have irresistible flavors from honey roasted chili, roasted jalapeno lime. Bold flavors that bring the heat, the sweet and everything in between. I don't know why I said that. Pervy. Each serving has 6 grams of protein and 0 grams of regret. So go ahead, don't hold back. Grab a bag of wonderful pistachios. Check out wonderful pistachios.com to learn more. All right, well, if we're listening to a. I guess a hyperactive version of. What are we listening to here? Jordan, explain what this is.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I'm going to say that I hear nothing.

[Conan O'Brien]

There's apparently a knob on your headphone. Oh my God, what an idiot. What an audio. Sorry, I should have.

[Luke Ranieri]

I should have explained that.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Apologies, Jordan.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's my fault.

[Jordan Schlansky]

All right, now let's take a listen. This like a duran duran 12 inch like a knife version.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Oh, I see.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what it is?

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah, this is a souped up version of Tom Sawyer by Rush.

[Conan O'Brien]

Let's kill it now because I think the idea is to get listeners, not drive them deep into the woods where they commit suicide.

[Frank Smiley]

What's the name of that band?

[Conan O'Brien]

Mindless Self Indulgence is the name of it. Yeah. Which is maybe the correct title for this episode. Welcome to the Conan and Jordan show. And we usually begin with the Rush song Tom Sawyer, which is. That's your favorite band and maybe your favorite song of theirs. And then this was a hyped up version by the band Mindless Self Indulgence. And that was a surprise for both of us. I didn't know that was gonna play.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Well, what I'm saying is we've had a bit of time off and there's been a lot of time to think of ideas, and that's what you guys came up with.

[Conan O'Brien]

Don't include me in this.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Oh, okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

I am a they. What they did. Imagine. Imagine a Soviet era space capsule, right? And they put two chimps inside. Now, the scientists, the Russian scientists have been working hard on blasting the chimps into space, but you and I are the chimps.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay?

[Conan O'Brien]

So I am. Was unaware that that was going to happen.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I've done no preparation for this podcast.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah, likewise. Now, is that the sense? Do all your podcasts involve the same lack of preparation? Or do you. Do you somehow devalue this one with respect to some of the others?

[Conan O'Brien]

Conor o' Brien needs a friend. I actually. I care about those people.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I see.

[Conan O'Brien]

We're talking about big stars like Al Pacino. I'll read his book. I'll think about all the things I want to talk to Al Pacino about.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Makes sense.

[Conan O'Brien]

Or if I'm talking to President Barack Obama, I really put a lot of thought into it. When they say, when I call in, as I do in the morning and say, who am I talking to today? And they say, it's you and Jordan, I actually stop off at UCLA and have a portion of my brain removed.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I see.

[Conan O'Brien]

And destroyed.

[Jordan Schlansky]

You know, I've heard you talk about when you have a big guest like Harrison Ford, that there were some extra people out there in the waiting room. You know, the whole staff shows up, people that don't need to be here.

[Conan O'Brien]

People are excited.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah. I couldn't help but notice. I walked in, it is empty out there. There is no one there.

[Conan O'Brien]

There's one tumbleweed and then the tumbleweed left. Listen, we have a lot to talk about. And Jordan, you know, I do treasure our friendship, if you can call it that. I don't know what it is, but we have a. We have some kind of chemical bond, all right, which needs to be eradicated like smallpox. But people are fascinated. They like to listen to us. They like to watch us. Travel the world. You've come with me on some of my adventures. And we have this show that we do, which people do enjoy, believe it or not. There's been great.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I haven't seen the metrics.

[Conan O'Brien]

There are none.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

There are no.

[Jordan Schlansky]

No one even cares to measure.

[Conan O'Brien]

No. Who would measure that?

[Jordan Schlansky]

Right.

[Conan O'Brien]

But I want to start today with some, I think, good news for you. Oh, you have many pet peeves. You have many sort of causes that you champion.

[Jordan Schlansky]

All right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Which are a waste of time. One is food coloring. You've been bothered about food coloring. Do you want to take us, give us just a quick tour of what you think about food coloring?

[Jordan Schlansky]

Well, it becomes most apparent when you compare some American food products to their foreign equivalents, things like M M's, where if you get them in the United Kingdom, the colors come from things like vegetable juice. And the colors are a bit muted, I guess, with, you know, compared to America's artificial color.

[Conan O'Brien]

Like the British themselves kind of washed out.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah. Well, they'll live a bit longer because they have.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think they all have massive heart attacks in their 50s.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because of all the pints they've been having. But anyway, you're saying that the uk, they use natural food coloring.

[Jordan Schlansky]

They have more stringent requirements about limiting the types of artificial coloring that's used in our food. And when you talk about artificial flavor, I guess I could see the appeal in it because you want something to taste a certain way. You can't achieve it otherwise. But when you talk about artificial color, I mean, how shallow are we that we just need something to look a certain way, you know?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Well, you've made the same point many times that you think the Europeans do things better than we do sometimes. Yeah, well, you tend to mostly lean that way. You seem a little anti American to me. I want to tell you that you should be quite happy. Robert Kennedy Jr. Who is now the health czar of America, he's in charge of, and rightfully so, given his medical background and his knowledge and his years and years of study. I think he has a medical degree. Does he have a medical degree? Does anyone know you looking it up right now? You don't have to. He does not. It's not important. Anyway, Robert Kennedy Jr. RFK Jr. Has decided to ban the artificial colors and dyes that are used in the United States. He wants to get rid of them. And this is one of those instances where what the government's doing aligns with what you believe in. And he is getting rid of those colors. And so probably One of the places you're going to see this most clearly is Froot Loops.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now, do you enjoy Froot Loops, the cereal?

[Jordan Schlansky]

They're not the ideal breakfast cereal, but, yeah, I've been known to.

[Conan O'Brien]

Ideal in what way?

[Jordan Schlansky]

Well, I did a deep comparison of different breakfast cereals recently, and Froot Loops, while they. They have a lot of sweetness, which is enticing, the texture is a little bit too airy. I like a little bit more substance. Like a Golden Grams is a little more fulfilling and experience.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I love Froot Loops.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

I have long been a Froot Loops fan.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Do you know how to spell Froot Lo.

[Conan O'Brien]

What are you talking about?

[Jordan Schlansky]

Do you know how to spell Froot Loops?

[Conan O'Brien]

F, R, O, O, T, L, P, S. Good job.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Good job.

[Conan O'Brien]

I went to Harvard.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

You don't think I know how to spell Froot Loops right? Okay, so Froot Loops, in the future, very soon, they have, like, fluorescent colors now, which I love, by the way. Those are going to be gone and they'll have a more muted. Muted tones.

[Jordan Schlansky]

You may call it muted. I call it natural. The way colors occur in nature.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. But I think that man's job on Earth is to improve upon nature.

[Jordan Schlansky]

They will taste the same. And I don't know what pleasure you derive in looking at that blue color.

[Conan O'Brien]

I love the color and I like the way the colors change. The milk.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

The great thing about Froot Loops, with all of the radioactive dyes that we use in the United States is that you can turn off the lights and like an alarm clock, you can see. You can still see the little. That's lit up.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's what I love about Froot Loops.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I don't even eat cereal in milk.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what's amazing?

[Jordan Schlansky]

What's that?

[Conan O'Brien]

Fruity Pebbles. Have you had Fruity Pebbles?

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah, they're a little. Their texture is a little bit too slight for me.

[Conan O'Brien]

I love that texture. I love how small they are.

[Jordan Schlansky]

And there's so many of them specifically dislike that. They're like slivers.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, well, this is why you and I should never occupy a cell in a prison together. Because we just don't get along on some of the major life issues. But the colors in Fruity Pebbles are insane. I've never done lsd, and I don't have to because I've had Fruity Pebbles.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Well, you better stock up now, apparently.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, the nice thing is I can stock up and they'll never go bad because of the dyes.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's true that any box of Froot loops you buy today will exist in its intact form 10,000 years from now and will be edible.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Great improv, by the way. Okay.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I love that we're discussing current events. I like that this has become the format of the show. What else is in the news? And we'll weigh in.

[Conan O'Brien]

Robert Kennedy.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Just inform me in advance if we're going to be changing the format of the show.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I mean, we spoke for an hour about breakfast cereal like two weeks ago. If you want to continue, we can. I am assuming this is leading to something. Where's the payoff coming?

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm just telling you that we like to occasionally cover current events.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

This is a current event. It's in the news.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

That Robert Kennedy Jr. The very well qualified government official in charge.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

In the cabinet. In the Trump cabinet, who's in charge of our health and our welfare. Who's done. I'm assuming just years and years and years of hardcore research and study has decided that this is the best course of action.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

And it may, and I'm assuming it's a good idea. And I think you agree.

[Jordan Schlansky]

If you're looking for a political opinion, I have none to offer. I am happy to hear that the United States is moving in the right direction with respect to artificial colors.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now, do you hate bright colors in general?

[Jordan Schlansky]

No, I have no problems with bright colors, but I have a problem with artificial colors.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, but when you see a movie you know that they're doing, sometimes there's going to be some enhancement to the colors and things like that. When you see your beloved Star wars.

[Jordan Schlansky]

When you call it an enhancement, I call it like an HDR color grade in the HDR 10 color space around perhaps the Dolby Vision color space, maybe even HDR10 plus. Of course, I understand that movies are graded. You're talking to an expert here. You come in there talking about enhancement.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you want to apologize?

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah, I could tell you. I could tell you ire level 400 nits, you're coming to me. You're coming to me like I'm in. Like I'm a chimp explaining.

[Conan O'Brien]

You asked me to answer spell Fruit Loops.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah, I like.

[Conan O'Brien]

Please. You thought I was going to think it was F R U I T. Yeah.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Let's not pretend that everyone knows that it's F R I.

[Conan O'Brien]

Of course they know. It's kidding me. You wouldn't call them real self.

[Jordan Schlansky]

No, that's.

[Conan O'Brien]

No one would do that. No, no, no, no, no, no. You. No one asks for. I would like the loops. How do you spell fruit?

[Jordan Schlansky]

How do you spell Fruity Pebbles?

[Conan O'Brien]

Fruity Pebbles is actually F R, U I T, I.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Very good. Just testing you again. No, you did well.

[Conan O'Brien]

This is what I majored in in college. I wrote a thesis on Fruity Pebbles versus Fruit Loops.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Guess what? Summa cum laude.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I actually went to Oxford and was given several prizes for this dissertation, if you will.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, we're gonna move on, but I hope so.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I thought this was going somewhere. That was it. That was the. That was the climax of that particular hunk.

[Conan O'Brien]

You should be pleased with how that went.

[Jordan Schlansky]

All right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because I have. Great. I've listened to some of our last conversations. This is a home run compared to some of them.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Good stuff.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I just want you to know that that's what's happening in the news. And I'm glad you're happy.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Your choice.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Your choice for the person who would lead this nation on health, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Is in full agreement with you on most everything.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Maybe we could talk about interest rates next.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, no.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're also an anti vaxxer, I believe. Just going to get that out there. Anti vaxxer. And a flat earther, I believe, as well. You think if you go too far in Europe looking for a cappuccino, you'll fall off the edge of the earth. Is that true? And then a dinosaur will eat you. This episode is brought to you by Square. Your favorite neighborhood spots run on Square. You've seen these things, haven't you? Oh, yeah, of course. It's incredible. Yeah, it's unbelievable. Did you know Square can help you turn your small business idea into a huge success? Well, guess what? They can even the genius idea for Moving with Monkeys, the pop up workout class taught by. Yes, real monkeys. I think the copywriter made this up. But whatever. Let's whatever. We'll go with it. Square isn't just a point of sale for local businesses anymore. What began as a little white card reader is now a behind the scenes powerhouse. Whoa. Helping you manage finances, schedule your team, and cover cash flow gaps. When they come up with Square, you keep things at moving with monkeys. Oh, I see. They're sticking with this running smoothly even if one of your instructors won't stop flinging bananas at the clients. Remember the concept. It's Monkeys. Whether you're expanding to new cities or growing your loyal following of primate loving. Fitness bus. Wow. Won't let it go. Square is with you every step of the way. Square helps you tackle today's to Dos and dream big for tomorrow. Oh, no more mention of monkeys in the copy the writer gave up. Finally. Go to square.comconan to learn more. That's right. I paused at my own name because I wasn't sure I was endorsing this product. But I am. I think Square is fantastic. That's square S Q U-A R E.com square G O Conan. I spelled it all out for you like a monkey. Square. Meet you there. When the world feels stuck in serious mode, Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles burst in to unleash pure, childlike creative energy one awesome bowl at a time. And a shout out to my brother Neil, who is nutso for Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles. Many a time when Neil and I get together, even now in our advanced age, first thing we do is have some Fruity Pebbles or Cocoa Pebbles. Neil, I'm thinking about you. Eating Pebbles is a full sensory experience. Delicious taste, mouthwatering aroma, vibrant colors, and crispy flakes in every heaping spoon. It's amazing. The texture is so great. Those little flakes. Fruity Pebbles are tangy and intensely fruity. Cocoa Pebbles are rich and chocolatey, just like they should be because it's cocoa. Like an instant treat. Pebble cereals are loved by kids and adults alike. The magic spans generations. When was the last time you could say that about any product? Yeah, they turn every bowl into pure milk magic. Fruity or chocolatey? That's my favorite part. Yeah, make your breakfast less blah, more yabba dabba doo. Head to your nearest grocery store to buy a box of delicious pebble cereal now. Don't do it tomorrow, don't do it yesterday, do it now. Yabba dabba doo and the Flintstones and all related characters and elements Copyright and trademark Hanna Barbera SurveyMonkey can help you uncover what the people you care about think. Whether you're launching a new product or app or in charge of creating great customer experiences. Success comes from caring enough to ask your audience the right questions. Questions like Is SurveyMonkey a good name for a company? I'm sorry, had to get one in there. SurveyMonkey is way more powerful than you might realize. Writing good survey questions is very hard. You ask the wrong thing, you end up with unhelpful answers. Survey Monkey is like having access to a survey scientist on demand. I'm sure they're not called survey scientists, but whatever, it doesn't matter. It uses AI powered technology to pick the best questions in the best formats to get your insights that you can trust. And after you send Your survey. Survey Monkey doesn't just show you the responses. It uses powerful AI to dig in deep, find patterns and spot trends. Whether you're a business owner trying to understand what your customers want, a marketing manager collecting feedback on a campaign idea, or part of an HR team working to build a happier workplace, or someone trying to find a good name for your company, you can get real insights with SurveyMonkey. Visit surveymonkey.com results hi Zoe Saldana.

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[Conan O'Brien]

Jordan, you and I have spent a lot of time together.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you have certain obsessions. One of them is pronunciation. It's important to you.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And sometimes your pronunciation of words is quite different than not just me, but what most people would think is the correct pronunciation.

[Jordan Schlansky]

That may be the case. I can't speak for how people interpret the things I say.

[Conan O'Brien]

When you and I were doing the travel show for Max and we were in Argentina, I said it would be a good idea if we took lessons and learned how to dance the tango. You corrected me and said it's the tango. That's the closest I've ever come to hitting you. Okay, I've slapped you before, but I never struck you with a closed fist. That's the closest I ever came to striking you, you insisted it was the tongo. And it was an insane moment.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I think if you go online, people will realize that you were in the wrong. Well, you're constantly correcting my pronunciation, and I think you're errant. I decided to bring somebody in who actually knows about linguistics. And I believe you're a big fan of his YouTube channel. I'm talking about Luke Ranieri.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Oh, yes. Excellent, man.

[Conan O'Brien]

Luke Ranieri is here, and he's going to come in now. I think he's being probably. Oh, yes. Hello, Luke. How are you?

[Luke Ranieri]

I'm great, Conan. How you doing?

[Conan O'Brien]

Tell me a little bit about yourself, because I'm not knowledgeable about your YouTube channel, but thank you so much for joining us. Tell us a little bit about how you became fascinated with pronunciation. Linguistics.

[Luke Ranieri]

Oh, thanks for having me. Yeah. I just fell in love with Italian and then later Latin. And for whatever reason I wanted to speak Latin, I was just. For no reason. I was just a weirdo like that. And so wanting to speak an ancient language, I wanted to figure out how it's actually pronounced. And thankfully, lots of people smarter than me wrote lots of books about that. And so I studied that. And then eventually I started talking about that on YouTube. How to pronounce Latin and ancient Greek and ancient pronunciations.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I don't know how familiar you are with my dynamic with Jordan Schlansky, but for many years now, he and I have sort of like the coyote and the roadrunner. We've been at war, and we disagree about a lot of things. Jordan is constantly correcting my pronunciation of certain words. There are times where I'm convinced he's wrong. He thought instead of tango, the word was tango. I don't know where you weigh in on that one, whether it's tango or tango.

[Luke Ranieri]

Well, in Spanish, it's. It's tango, but. So that's a short ah sound. And a short ah can go either towards ah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, I know.

[Luke Ranieri]

Depending on.

[Conan O'Brien]

I know it could be tango, but it's not. He was saying tongo the way Tarzan would. Tarzan would name a fellow ape. Hey, tongo. Come here. Would you agree that tongo would be incorrect? It could be tango. A quicker a. I accept that, but I will not accept tango.

[Luke Ranieri]

I like your Spanish pronunciation when you said tango. That sounded good to me. Yes, but okay, for English, I think you can go a lot of ways.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Would you just please agree with me before we proceed that tongo. T o n, G o with a long.

[Jordan Schlansky]

No, I never Spelled it T, O, N, G, O. It's Eltongo. It's Eltongo. I didn't make the word up. I'm only reciting it. Luke, there's no shortage of Spanish speaking people in this town. You've got a celebrity here. You've got one of the few men on Earth that can currently speak Latin, both classical and ecclesiastical, and you're asking about Spanish? We have 10 people in the building that speak fluent Spanish. Luke, you're wasting this man's time.

[Conan O'Brien]

Would you say tango or would you say tongo?

[Luke Ranieri]

Tongo sounds too much like the friend.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yugi. That's all we need.

[Luke Ranieri]

Star Trek.

[Conan O'Brien]

Thank you so much. Now, before we continue, I'd like to know how to pronounce your name. Is it Luke Ranieri or is it Ranieri? What do you prefer?

[Luke Ranieri]

So in English I do Ranieri and in Italian it's Ranieri.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think Ranieri sounds better.

[Luke Ranieri]

I like it fine.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Okay. And how do you go with Luke? Are you Luke like Luke? I am your father. That would please. My compatriot here is a big Star wars fan. It's his religion.

[Luke Ranieri]

Me too.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you go with Luke or is. Or just Luke? I have a brother and I call him Luke. Okay.

[Luke Ranieri]

Yeah.

[Jordan Schlansky]

You're not going to divide us. We have a pre existing relationship. Do you understand? You're the. I see where you're trying to go with this. I'm going to switch. Spoiler alert. Right now he and I are aligned.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, really? Have you ever. You guys are aligned? Have you ever danced the tongo together?

[Luke Ranieri]

Well, gentlemen, later we may have a chance to test this. And with a little bit of a competition, we'll find out later.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, now there are some words I think you and I have spoken before. You'll often give me. What you say is the correct Latin pronunciation of certain words.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I do the best I can.

[Conan O'Brien]

Or names like Julius Caesar. We. We say Julius Caesar. And what do you say, Jordan?

[Jordan Schlansky]

Gaius Julius Geyser.

[Conan O'Brien]

He says Gaius Julius Geyser.

[Jordan Schlansky]

No, no, that's not what I said.

[Conan O'Brien]

What did you say?

[Jordan Schlansky]

No, I said Gaius Julius Geyser.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. And is that correct, Luke?

[Luke Ranieri]

For a classical Latin pronunciation, I think that's very good.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Now, do you think you're not gonna win here? I see where you're trying to go. Keep trying.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, but no.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Is it perfect? No, of course not. Is it better than what you throwing out of that pie hole? Of course it is.

[Conan O'Brien]

So my speaking is hurling things out of a pie hole. So what you're saying, Jordan is Do you say Jordan? How do you pronounce it?

[Jordan Schlansky]

Jordan.

[Conan O'Brien]

Jordan.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, I say Jordan. Gaius. And what do you say?

[Jordan Schlansky]

Geyser.

[Conan O'Brien]

Geyser.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Well, that's the classical Latin. Of course. It's Cesar in the ecclesiastical Latin. You should know that. You're a Roman Catholic.

[Conan O'Brien]

So Cesar Romero is your favorite joker.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Sure.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, how about Socrates? What do you. First of all, what do you say?

[Jordan Schlansky]

Socrates.

[Conan O'Brien]

Socrates. And what do you say, Luke?

[Luke Ranieri]

Socrates is the modern Greek pronunciation. Jordan did it perfectly. Ancient pronunciation. Say classical Attic pronunciation. So Krates.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, you never did that one. That actually sounds like if I was getting directions, you know, in my car. Do you know what I mean? From a. From a gps. And you know what I mean? And it said that I had to take a left on Socrates Boulevard. It would go take a left on Socrates Boulevard. You know what I mean? That's what a little bit sounds like. I think most GPS voices are probably programmed to speak in the correct ancient Latin, and that's why it sounds so weird to us. Do you agree with that?

[Jordan Schlansky]

I have a real agenda with this man. If we have his time. I have questions. Okay? I know you have bits that you have planned.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm not doing bits.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I'd like him to rattle off every astrological sign in Latin. I'd like you to tell me how to pronounce Tyrannosaurus Rex in Latin. I want to know how to say brontosaurus. I want to know.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, all right. Okay.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I have no questions here.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Jordan Schlansky]

All right. I think our viewers would, I'm sure.

[Conan O'Brien]

To guess the astrological. That's just cheesy. And you're probably going to use that on some dating website. Tyrannosaurus Rex. What would be the correct way to say Tyrannosaurus Rex?

[Luke Ranieri]

Tyrannosaurus Rex with a classical Latin pronunciation.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wow, that's a real deal breaker for me. I mean, you're talking to a kid. Let's say you're talking to a kid and you just want to say, oh, and, oh, let's go to the museum. I don't want to go. I don't want to go. No, come on. It's really cool. They have a T. Rex there. Oh, cool. I will go to the museum. I love a T. Rex. Jordan, when he's talking to his kids, he's going to say, do you want to come see a T. Rex? And the kid's going to go, no, I don't. And so your kids are never going to see a natural history museum in their lives because you're such a Freak. Okay, brontosaurus. How do you say it?

[Luke Ranieri]

Brontosaurus, from the word bronte, meaning thunder in Greek. And of course the saurus means a lizard or a reptile. Of course, yeah. Now, caveat, we have all these Latin words.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is caveat the way to say it.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Or is it caveat?

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, I say caveat.

[Luke Ranieri]

Caveat means may he or she be careful, like watch out, Kawiat. But this caveat I would bring up is the fact that we have these names from Latin, ancient Greek, other languages, and we've anglicized them like, like Caesar. And you know, we can say, if we're speaking in Latin, we'll say geyser or jazar potentially. But English, yeah, we have these English pronunciations like Caesar and Tyrannosaurus rex.

[Conan O'Brien]

I mean, I would like to see you go, you know, to an olive Garden and ask for a geyser salad and see what you get. You know what I mean? It's not going to happen.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

So I think sometimes it's off putting. I guess that's what I would say to you. Luke, I appreciate your knowledge and I appreciate that someone is making sure they understand the long dead pronunciation of these names. But when Jordan does it in real life, it can feel like a put down and it can be socially a little awkward. Could you see how that would be?

[Luke Ranieri]

Having done that for a long time and then changing my own behavior. Yes, I can understand that.

[Conan O'Brien]

So you modified your behavior because you were realize I'm not going to say Gesar. I'm going to say, yeah, well, Caesar was stabbed on the ides of March by the senators. That's what you would say. You wouldn't say geyser. Right.

[Luke Ranieri]

Usually talking about history. Yeah. Caesar was stabbed by Brutus and Cassius and the rest of the conspirators.

[Conan O'Brien]

So learn that Luke, because he's a human and has lived among humans, has altered his behavior somewhat, even though he is an expert, far more than you at all these pronunciations. He has altered his behavior somewhat in order to fit in society better.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah. He has a forum to disperse his knowledge. He has an excellent couple. Except it's called for room. That's close. He has a couple of YouTube channels where he can talk about these things. This is my forum. Do you understand? This is my chance. Do you know what I've done here? I've started a dialogue. There are millions of people listening right now that now know how to pronounce.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know about that.

[Jordan Schlansky]

And they never, it never even occurred to them before.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Jordan Schlansky]

And they know how to pronounce the real names of dinosaurs. I'd like to cover Greek gods. I want to talk about things like habeas corpus and pluribus unum. We, you know, it's great words every day, but we're providing come from.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're providing a service. So many dates aren't going to happen because you've provided this knowledge. So many guys are gonna be at bars and they're gonna say, by the way, it's not Caesar, it's Geyser. And then they're gonna go to say something else and the girl is gone.

[Luke Ranieri]

In fairness, Conan, my fiance, liked me because I was talking about those things. That's how we met.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I think she's Italian. He has a beautiful fiance. This man is. I just want you to respect him. Can I just say one thing right now? Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Can I just say one thing, Lou? I have no proof. There's no proof here that your fiance, it could be the old girlfriend in Canada bit. We have no proof that this girlfriend's real.

[Jordan Schlansky]

She's probably in the next.

[Luke Ranieri]

Their pictures are right here.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, yeah. Oh, I've got a picture, too. Do you want to see the picture of my girlfriend? Yeah, it's, I've got lots of pictures of my girlfriends from the past. Now they're going to look a little like supermodels that you've seen. But they were really my girlfriends.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Do you know that you're not an Aries, you're an Arias.

[Conan O'Brien]

I, I, I didn't know that.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah, I didn't know. Well, now you learn something new. And, and you could for the rest of your life.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you are. What is your, what is your.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah, well, you're April 18th. You should know my birthday. It's five days before yours. I shared Weinberg.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know your birthday. Okay. Because I don't want to know your birthday.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Maybe after 30 years, it's time that you learn these things. You could have wished me well.

[Luke Ranieri]

Happy belated birthdays. Yeah.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Thank you so much. How would you say. Are you familiar with the Karate Kid movies?

[Luke Ranieri]

Absolutely.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know who they starred? They starred Ralph Macchio. How would you pronounce his name?

[Luke Ranieri]

I remember. It's M, A, C, C, H, I, O. Right?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Ranieri]

Macchio. That's in Italian. It's Macchio.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah. Ralph Macchio. Lou Ferrigno.

[Conan O'Brien]

I mean, Lou Ferrinho, the Hulk.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Lou Ferrinho, the Hulk.

[Conan O'Brien]

But here's where we get into an interesting thing. There is how they're known Meaning how they are known throughout the world. So you could be a huge fan of Ralph Macchio. I'm sure, even if you pulled Ralph. If a state trooper pulled over a sports car and the plate said Karate Kid 1, Karate Kid 2, whatever it was a vanity license plate, and the thing went down and he said, license and registration. What's your name, sir? And it was Ralph, the star of those films. And he said he would say, I'm Ralph Macchio. He wouldn't say I'm Ralph Macchio. So this is important to me that you're saying what you think it should have been 10,000 years ago, but no one calls it that. I mean, my name is Conan O' Brien. What would my name have been, you know, 800 years ago in Ireland?

[Luke Ranieri]

I assume it was something like. Because I think that's what it is in Irish. But. But. Yeah, that's a but, o' Brien.

[Conan O'Brien]

It'd be Gaelic, I don't know. But that is not my name. My name is Conan o' Brien.

[Luke Ranieri]

That's true, though if we Latinize your name, it would be Conanus Brienius or something like that, which would. Which would sound cool. We like to Latinize our names when we. When we speak because it makes it easier for different parts of the grammar. So we have. We have Konanos Brienneus and Jordan Skuskius.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you wish that I called you that?

[Jordan Schlansky]

No, I like to. I appreciate all these factoids. Many people spend time on the Internet watching various things. I appreciate spending a couple hours watching Luke and his excellent dissertations about any number of subjects. However, I believe in staying true to one's background, so to speak. So I would want to know more of the Polish, Russian, origins of my name and Irish for yours. But yeah. There are so many things I have to ask Luke, but I'll have to save them for another time because it appears you have an agenda of jokes and quips. So I'll let you take the lead. I'll let you take the lead and we'll converse offline, because why don't you test us, Luke?

[Conan O'Brien]

Why don't you test us on the pronunciations of historical Greek and Roman names? Do you think that's maybe a good test for the both of us? And we'll see.

[Luke Ranieri]

I think that's a great idea.

[Conan O'Brien]

Let's try that.

[Luke Ranieri]

And let's start with what we're going to do. We're going to play a little game, and you'll both get the chance to steal. Now, let's start with. Speaking of the assassination of Julius Gaysar Thier was one of the men behind it. Now, Conan, we're going to start with you. You can pronounce his whole name, or just that we'll call it last.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, he was stabbed by Brutus. And so I'm just going to say it was Brutus.

[Luke Ranieri]

And now you got to try to do it in a classical Latin pronunciation best you can.

[Conan O'Brien]

Marcus Juniors. Is that it?

[Luke Ranieri]

Not bad. Not bad. Yeah.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I just did it the worst way.

[Conan O'Brien]

I did it the stupidest way I could think of. And you said that was pretty close. Now, you go for it there, chimpy.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I would go with Marcus Junius Brutus.

[Luke Ranieri]

Okay, I'm going to give that point to Jordan.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, so when he said, you, too, Brutus, he was saying, et tu, Brutus Brute.

[Luke Ranieri]

Brut bruta.

[Conan O'Brien]

So you too, Brutus. Okay.

[Luke Ranieri]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's a lot to get out while you're. I mean, he was bleeding out of, I think, maybe 35 different knife wounds, and he had to get all that out.

[Luke Ranieri]

Some historians say he didn't say anything. Others said he, in fact said. He said in Greek, kai shoot non. And you, my child. And you, my son.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Luke Ranieri]

And others. Et U. Brute is a.

[Conan O'Brien]

There's one. And also there's one account where he just went, what the fuck? What the fuck?

[Jordan Schlansky]

Can you imagine if you can go back in time in a time machine and hear everyone. How beautiful is that? Even when he says something like, etu Brute. Can you imagine hearing everyone speaking like that, dressed in their togas?

[Conan O'Brien]

I can imagine the togas.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I do that a lot.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, continue, sir.

[Luke Ranieri]

All right. So speaking of Brutus, this was his wife. How is this pronounced in Latin? Jordan, we're going to start with you. Classical.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Classical Latin, porkia. And I'd go ecclesiastical. I'd go, portia.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm going to go.

[Luke Ranieri]

Very nice.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm going to go.

[Luke Ranieri]

Not bad. But I think I'm going to have to give that point to Jordan. We call her Portia.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Luke Ranieri]

It means little piglet.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, that's a nice. That's great. That's great. That's some real misogyny there from Brutus. Hey, hey, little piglet. Come here. That's nice. Women love it when you call him little piglet. I'm going to go home tonight, my wife and say, hey there, little piglet.

[Luke Ranieri]

You know, it's even worse because in a way, women in ancient Rome didn't get their own names. The usual name that they were called was just the feminine version of their father's. Family tribe name.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yep. They wonder why that empire fell and is no more. When you don't treat the women right, the empire crumbles. A word of warning.

[Luke Ranieri]

Well, how about a poet or two? Let's start with this one first. Conan. Can you guess what we call this poet in English? Because it's a little bit different.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm gonna say in English it's Virgilius.

[Luke Ranieri]

Oh, that's right. Yeah. Virgil. Very good.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Luke Ranieri]

And what can you. Your best classical Latin pronunciation. Conan.

[Conan O'Brien]

Virgilius.

[Luke Ranieri]

Not bad. Not bad. You know what? Because you guessed it was Virgil and the sounded pretty good, we pronounced the V as a W. I was gonna go that way.

[Conan O'Brien]

I could have gone that way, but I knew that it was a fork in the road and I could take either one.

[Luke Ranieri]

I like that. That was good.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think I get that point. We don't even have to try, Jordan.

[Luke Ranieri]

I'm giving that point. Just so you know, we're keeping score. This is a free and fair game show. So this is all correct and above.

[Conan O'Brien]

Board of the game shows that have existed in the world. This might be the worst. But. And I say that with kindness. But let's continue.

[Luke Ranieri]

And that may be. Well, let's take this one, Jordan. What poet is this in English? What do we call him in English, Horatio?

[Jordan Schlansky]

In English?

[Luke Ranieri]

Not usually.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's Horus.

[Luke Ranieri]

That's right. Conan is correct. And how would we pronounce this in classical Latin, Jordan?

[Conan O'Brien]

Horatius.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Horatius.

[Luke Ranieri]

Yeah, very good.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm sorry, you gotta give me both of those points because I gave you both a point. I knew it was Horus. He didn't even know who it was. Well, how many points we have now?

[Luke Ranieri]

We have three to two Jordans in the lead.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, let's go one more time, and you have to ask me first.

[Luke Ranieri]

Okay, let's do a Greek one. This is a mythological figure, of course.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, we would know him as Odysseus.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Right?

[Luke Ranieri]

Very good.

[Conan O'Brien]

But in the Greek, it would be Odysseus. Odious. Odysseus, get to the chopper. It's not a tumor. Odysseus. Odysseus. Odysseus. Odysseus. What do you think? We got it.

[Luke Ranieri]

Yes, you are. Yeah. Definitely getting there, Jordan.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Well, first of all, we know Odysseus was Ulysses in Rome. And despite the pronunciation, which I'm not familiar with, I will tell you that a lot of people know about the Iliad, but do they also know about the Odyssey? Do people know that nobody could string Odysseus bow except his son Telemachus. Or is it Telemachus? And he had all these suitors coming after his wife. And. And he had a dog. And the dog was the only one that recognized. They thought he was dead. And he comes back and the dog is the only one that recognizes him. And all these suitors are trying to string this bow, but they can't string the bow. And then Odysseus gets up there in disguise and he strings the bow and he executes the suitors and everyone lives happily ever after.

[Conan O'Brien]

If you were on the street in, say, San Diego, and it was 2 o' clock in the morning, and you said all of that, the police would put a blanket around you and they would take you to a shelter and you'd be medicated.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Right?

[Conan O'Brien]

And the body cam footage would totally exonerate those policemen.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I understand.

[Conan O'Brien]

You just raved like an absolute fucking lunatic.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And even I. I mean, you have the safety of being on a zoom, Luke, but even you retreated somewhat from the camera. Wasn't that a little bit frightening, the intensity of that speech?

[Luke Ranieri]

Well, it's kind of like, you know, tower of Terror. Sometimes frightening is enjoyable.

[Jordan Schlansky]

There are people out there that appreciate me. You need to understand that. I'm sure there are individuals.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. There's a Yeti. There's a yeti out there and I haven't met it. I've heard. I've heard tell. But no one has footage. I have never seen even a photograph of someone who enjoys what you're saying.

[Jordan Schlansky]

What I'm saying is, you know, I am polarizing. I understand that there are people.

[Conan O'Brien]

Polarizing means half or with you. Half or against you. That's why you aren't polarizing. You are completely alienating.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay?

[Conan O'Brien]

No one is in your corner. I've never met anybody who's in your corner.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Ever.

[Jordan Schlansky]

All right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Ever.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I understand.

[Conan O'Brien]

Ever.

[Jordan Schlansky]

The people that dislike me. I get it. I really do. I truly get called humanity.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's called humanity. That's the population of Earth.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah, but the people that can tolerate me, I get you, too.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'd like to meet them.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah. All right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I want to thank you, Luke. It's been lovely talking to you. And I do appreciate what you do. You seem like a lovely person. I am going to check out your YouTube channel. I want to give you a shout out. Luke Rainieri. Or you would say Rainieri.

[Jordan Schlansky]

No, he wouldn't. He'd say Ranieri.

[Conan O'Brien]

Don't argue. The man who actually knows his name.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Yeah, well, you don't know. He knows.

[Conan O'Brien]

How can they access your YouTube channel. What's the best way to find it?

[Luke Ranieri]

Well, yeah, if you search for Luke Ranieri, you'll find both of them really easily.

[Conan O'Brien]

Great.

[Luke Ranieri]

And otherwise, the main channel is called Polymothy. It's like Polymath with a Y at the end. Polymothy. And you can find a lot of my videos that way.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I am a fan of people who know their stuff. You seem to know your stuff, and you seem like a very affable fellow. And so I wish you all the best. And it really has been nice talking to you. Thank you for intervening here, because this was an intervention. And Jordan, I do think now you may know some of what you're talking about.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

I still think you're completely wrong on Tongo, and I know that Luke. Agree with me on that and that'll wrap this section up. Okay, for better or worse, and I'm going to say worse, this was the Conan and Jordan show. And Jordan, once again, I wouldn't say it's a pleasure, but it certainly is an experience. Okay, you are so additive to the process, you're sullen. Okays, if I have nothing to contribute.

[Jordan Schlansky]

I'm not going to pretend to contribute.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Jordan Schlansky]

But you know, when I do say something, it means something.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Are you about to snap?

[Jordan Schlansky]

I have nothing to say right now.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, well, for a guy with nothing to say, you are very animated and you seem furious. So we're gonna go to take this out. This has been our episode of the Conan and Jordan Show. We hope you enjoyed it. We certainly have an interesting time making to mace. We hope you find value in this process. Just going to mutter on my way.

[Jordan Schlansky]

Out, Jordan, I have nothing to mother.

[Frank Smiley]

The Conan and Jordan show with Conan o' Brien and Jordan Chlansky is produced by me, Frank Smiley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Jim McClure. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez. Our supervising producer is Andrew Gruse. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Brit Kahn. The theme song is Tom Sawyer by Rush. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan and Jordan? Call The Team Coco hotline [phone] and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan o' Brien Needs a Friend, wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. And be sure to subscribe and tune into Conan O' Brien radio channel 104 on SiriusXM.

[Adam Sachs]

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[Jim McClure]

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