David Oyelowo Returns

Summary

Podcast Summary: Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend – David Oyelowo Returns (April 13, 2026)

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Episode Overview

In this warm, humorous, and often poignant episode, Conan O’Brien welcomes acclaimed actor David Oyelowo back to the podcast. The conversation flows from banter about taxes and family quirks to deeper reflections on artistic tradition, representation in the acting world, personal stories of hardship and triumph, and Oyelowo’s tireless pursuit to expand and reflect human stories on screen. Anchored by Conan’s wit and David’s deep thoughtfulness, the episode explores generational change, the value of storytelling, and the impact of connecting through adversity and art.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Taxes, Parental Hijinks, and Podcast Banter

[01:21–11:07]

• The crew dives into humorous confessions about tax season, with Sona, Eduardo, and Aaron sharing their questionable tax preparation practices.
• Aaron hilariously reveals his mom—despite being a therapist, not an accountant—insists on doing his taxes using TurboTax, leading to mock-accusations of “fraudulent” expense write-offs for Spider-Man costumes and Xena Warrior Princess swords.
  • Eduardo: “There are inner city schools that don't have computers, but this guy has Xena warrior princess swords.” [10:22]
• The segment is peppered with rapid-fire jokes, playful teasing, and the team’s signature absurd sincerity.

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2. David Oyelowo’s Family Milestone – A Son Proposes

[12:04–14:27]

• David shares the joyous news of his eldest son’s engagement and reminisces about his own proposal at 21.
• Reflects on the emotional impact of milestones, especially as experienced vicariously through parenting.
  • David: “I proposed to his mom when she was 19 and I was 21 ... watching my son propose just brought back all the memories.” [12:47]
• The group laughs about Conan’s eagerness to be invited to the wedding, leading to anecdotes about Oyelowo’s late mother’s passion for (often tone-deaf) singing at family occasions.

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3. Parental Expectations and Defying Tradition

[18:39–20:02, 28:21–29:07]

• David explains both his decision to marry young and pursue acting were made in defiance of his father’s wishes.
• His father, who didn’t become a parent until his 40s and tried many professions, initially saw acting as a frivolous, “jester”-like pursuit.
• David’s own journey is contrasted against his father’s search for fulfillment—eventually finding contentment running a minicab business with David’s mother.

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4. Cultural Heritage & Names

[23:52–26:56]

• David explains the Yoruba origin and meaning of his surname, Oyelowo: “a king deserves respect.”
• Team members share the origins and quirks of their own last names, including the amusing “wide face” possible meaning of “Conan.”

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5. Childhood Stories – Tribal Marks and Tall Tales

[25:15–29:07]

• David recounts how his father sported traditional Yoruba tribal marks and told young David they were from fighting a tiger, a legend he used to bolster his playground reputation.

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6. Accidental Beginnings: From Shy Teen to Center Stage

[29:32–31:31]

• David narrates how a crush led him, almost by accident, to a youth theater group at the famed National Theatre.
• Due to a subway strike, he filled in for absent leads and was cast in the starring role, marking the humble start of his acting career.
  • David: “The room just went completely silent... Three days later, I was cast in the lead of this play.” [30:36]

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7. The British Acting & Storytelling Tradition

[31:52–36:47]

• Conan marvels at the storytelling prowess of British actors, and David explains the formal and informal traditions—learning directly from icons like Judi Dench, Alan Bates, and Kenneth Branagh—that foster this skill.
  • David: “There is something celestial about ... being in a rehearsal room with a guy who had been on stage with Olivier.” [34:13]
• The actor’s journey from minor roles to leading Shakespearean parts is cast as a rite of passage and a humbling, elevating experience.

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8. Onstage Truth, Audience Connection, and Film Adaptation

[36:19–39:28]

• Discussion of the “muscle memory” developed by stage actors for locating emotional truth, and how this translates to film’s more artificial circumstances.
• David highlights Dame Judi Dench’s method: “I learn my lines and try to forget them so that I am completely fresh and present in the scene.” [38:26]

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9. Being Slapped by Oprah & On-Screen Violence

[39:28–46:34]

• David recounts a memorable scene in The Butler where Oprah, in-character as his mother, accidentally slapped him for real.
  • David: “With each take, she got more and more into it ... the very last time, she got the end of my nose.” [41:19]
• Conan and staff swap stories of being physically struck for comedy or during childhood, leading Conan to recall being mugged as a teen in Boston.

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10. “Newborn” – Art Imitating Trauma and Hope

[49:01–65:53]

• David and Conan explore David’s new film, Newborn: a psychological thriller and love story about the aftermath of solitary confinement and returning to family life.
  • David: “It’s 23 hours a day in a 9 by 6 cell with fluorescent lights on all the time. And what that does to the mind, the psyche, the soul is... it’s torture.” [51:22]
• The conversation dives deep into the psychological effects of solitary, the contrast between freedom as a blessing and a burden post-trauma, and the crucial, healing power of love and connection.
  • David: “The ultimate way you dehumanize someone is to extricate them from human connection.” [54:24]
• David shares the personal cost of acting: his father’s passing on the first day of the shoot, and the guilt and meaning that “Newborn” carries for him.

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11. Representation, Generational Change, and the Legacy of Art

[56:22–64:36]

• David credits his teacher’s encouragement as pivotal, reflecting on progress in school diversity for actors of color over the decades.
• He discusses Sidney Poitier’s influence, the shifting battles for representation over generations, and the hope that future generations will take today’s hard-won inclusivity for granted.
  • David: “The driver for me with storytelling ... is taking roles as a kind of gift to my 12-year-old self, in terms of the things that I didn't see on screen.” [58:39]

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12. Closing Praise, Wedding Crasher Jokes, and Sign-Off

[66:57–67:34]

• Conan effuses glowing praise for David Oyelowo’s talent and character: “You’re such an amazing person to talk to ... I always feel good after you’ve been here.” [66:57]
• Light-hearted threats to crash David’s son’s wedding cap the episode with laughter.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Family Legacy:
  “The two biggest decisions of my life were in defiance of my dad: who I married, and the profession I went into.”
  — David Oyelowo [19:51]

• On Artistic Tradition:
  “It is lauded, it is something that is celebrated, and it is a tradition that is very much outside of financial remuneration. The gift is the doing of it.”
  — David Oyelowo [34:13]

• On Connection:
  “Human beings are designed for connection. And the ultimate way you dehumanize someone is to extricate them from human connection.”
  — David Oyelowo [54:24]

• On Opportunity & Mentorship:
  “If there is someone who sees in you what you haven't seen in yourself yet, that is the greatest blessing.”
  — David Oyelowo [56:54]

• On Art & Healing:
  “At its height, I do think these stories cost ... it’s the greatest thing in the world to sort of in service of humanity, kind of try and show us who we are.”
  — David Oyelowo [65:53]

• On Progress:
  “You want them [future actors] to not be able to understand what it would feel like to be the only [person of color]. I want you to take this level of diversity for granted.”
  — David Oyelowo [58:39]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Tax Banter & Team Antics: [01:21–11:07]
• Oyelowo’s Family News & Wedding Singing: [12:04–16:13]
• Defying Parental Pathways: [18:39–20:02]
• Yoruba Heritage & Tribal Marks: [23:52–26:56]
• Theatre Beginnings—Subway Strike Origin Story: [29:32–31:31]
• Tradition of Storytelling in British Acting: [31:52–36:47]
• Stage vs. Screen Acting, Dench’s Technique: [36:19–39:28]
• Getting Slapped by Oprah On and Off Camera: [39:28–46:34]
• Newborn & The Trauma of Solitary: [49:01–53:03]
• Generational Representation & Poitier’s Legacy: [60:37–63:28]
• Personal Cost of Art—Father’s Blessing, Loss, and Guilt: [63:41–65:53]
• Final Tributes and Closer: [66:57–67:34]

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Episode Takeaways

• The episode’s tone is both jovial and heartfelt, balancing Conan’s comedic interludes with David’s soulful reflections.
• Oyelowo’s journey exemplifies how art, rooted in tradition, mentorship, and personal conviction, can challenge societal norms and promote healing.
• The candid discussions about personal and collective trauma, and the healing potential of family and connection, give the episode resonance beyond its laughs.

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For listeners new and old, this is an episode brimming with insight, laughter, and an inspiring reminder that storytelling isn’t just entertainment—it’s part of the ongoing project of understanding and healing humanity.

Transcript

[David Oyelowo]

Foreign.

[Conan O'Brien]

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[David Oyelowo]

Hi, my name is David Iyelowo, and I feel Conanified. Nice about being Conan o' Brien's friend.

[Conan O'Brien]

That is a very expensive process to be Conanified. Very few people can imagine the most expensive spa weekend.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Fall is here. Hear the yell Back to school Ring the bell Brand new shoes Walk and loose Climb the fence Books and pens I can tell that we are gonna be friends

[David Oyelowo]

Yes, I can tell that

[Conan O'Brien]

we are gonna be friends hey there. Welcome to Conan o' Brien Needs a Friend. My name, Conan o'. Brien. Sonam Obsessian's joining us, too.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And Matt Gorley is still out on paternity leave, but we are joined by David Hopping.

[David Oyelowo]

Hello.

[Conan O'Brien]

The assistant who replaced Sona and made her but a dim memory.

[Eduardo Perez]

Oh, dim, dim.

[Matt Gourley]

Sona's full celebrity now.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Dim memory.

[Eduardo Perez]

Well, I don't even remember.

[Sonam Obsessian]

I still work with you.

[Eduardo Perez]

Who are you?

[Sonam Obsessian]

Oh, man.

[Conan O'Brien]

Listen, when this episode drops, it's gonna be tax time and.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Oh, actually, we're really talking about.

[Eduardo Perez]

I've been told that this is a dreadful thing to talk about, which makes me want to talk about it.

[Sonam Obsessian]

No.

[David Oyelowo]

Yeah.

[Eduardo Perez]

So tax time. Sona, you got your papers in order?

[Sonam Obsessian]

No, I just remembered when we were talking about this, I said, oh, no, I gotta send my accountant all my stuff.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yeah. Well, how hard is that?

[Sonam Obsessian]

It's a lot. Because.

[Eduardo Perez]

Do you have, like, a big shoe box that's filled with papers? No, that's the old.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Why are you laughing? Because I do. All of the papers that are email or mailed to me, I just stick them in a thing, a folder.

[Eduardo Perez]

Okay.

[Sonam Obsessian]

So, yeah, it's like a shoebox. But I don't have, like, receipts, Okay? I don't read my receipts.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Sonam Obsessian]

I don't do any of that.

[Eduardo Perez]

All right, so you just have some papers.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Yeah.

[Eduardo Perez]

You got to get them to the accountant.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Yeah. Like, we like you, probably.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's a fun story. Oh, I don't touch anything. I live in a bubble.

[Eduardo Perez]

I'm a, you know, I'm an llc. I'm a. I'm an offshore illegal company. I do. I mean, papers get moved around, you know, things are purchased and sold without my knowledge. And I'm just sitting in a geodesic dome covered in yak butter, going, what's happening? What's happening outside? What's happening? David, I don't even wanna know what your story is.

[Matt Gourley]

I still need to do mine too, okay? Or I'm behind.

[Eduardo Perez]

Okay, but what do you have?

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you have papers, receipts?

[Sonam Obsessian]

Papers?

[Matt Gourley]

So you employ me.

[David Oyelowo]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

And so then I have to. I get those papers.

[Eduardo Perez]

I don't even know that. Do you get paid for what you do?

[Matt Gourley]

I get paid, Baby, that's insane.

[Eduardo Perez]

I don't pay you Faceless corporation.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, again, I don't know what's happening, Eduardo. What's your story?

[Eduardo Perez]

How do you get your taxes done on time? But who does your taxes?

[Sonam Obsessian]

Oh, what a dick.

[Eduardo Perez]

Who does your. Who does your taxes?

[David Oyelowo]

Do you want me to give like a plug to my.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Do you have an account?

[Eduardo Perez]

You have a guy? I have a guy, cuz, you know,

[Sonam Obsessian]

my dad does his own.

[Conan O'Brien]

Your dad does his own.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Yeah.

[Eduardo Perez]

Fraud. There's no way he's not breaking the law.

[Sonam Obsessian]

How dare you?

[Eduardo Perez]

He came from another land. He doesn't know about our American.

[Sonam Obsessian]

A lot of people do their own taxes. They just throw in things on the boxes.

[Eduardo Perez]

I know, but come on. Is he on the up and up, your pops?

[Sonam Obsessian]

Yeah. Gil is all, how dare you? What is your issue with my dad? Well, no, I love jealousy. Can grow a mustache.

[Conan O'Brien]

I love your dad.

[Eduardo Perez]

I love your dad.

[Conan O'Brien]

Gil is the man.

[Eduardo Perez]

But I just curious, you know, he came to this land, America. And I'm curious if he's familiar with all of our ways. And he's paying taxes. It's all going well.

[Sonam Obsessian]

He's been here for almost 60 years.

[Eduardo Perez]

Takes a while to get used to stuff, you know, that's all.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Oh, you're awful. You're awful. You're smiling. You love it. You love this version of you. This is you. This is your real you. Name, Halo. The real you. This is it.

[Eduardo Perez]

No, listen, I. What's this now? Bl. I know.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Bl.

[Eduardo Perez]

I want to know. I don't.

[Aaron Blair]

Not only do I have nothing to say, I'm trying to hide behind Sona's hair so you don't look at me.

[David Oyelowo]

I.

[Sonam Obsessian]

No, but who does your taxes? Bl.

[Aaron Blair]

Okay. My mom does my taxes.

[Sonam Obsessian]

A.

[Eduardo Perez]

Your mom does your taxes?

[Aaron Blair]

My mom. My Mary Blair, bless her heart, does my taxes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sweet.

[Eduardo Perez]

And I. I'm sorry.

[Aaron Blair]

It's a very. It's a very, very emotional thing between the two of us. I. She demands to do it. It's back and forth.

[David Oyelowo]

It's.

[Eduardo Perez]

No, she does think she demands to do it.

[Aaron Blair]

She absolutely demands to do it.

[Eduardo Perez]

She's on the phone with you saying, how come you spent this much on a Spider man flashlight?

[Aaron Blair]

You know what she actually is, but because you buy.

[Eduardo Perez]

Wait, hold it. Wait a minute. You don't silence me on Conan o' Brien Needs a Friend.

[Aaron Blair]

Okay, all right, fine.

[Eduardo Perez]

You take the punishment.

[David Oyelowo]

Oh, my God.

[Eduardo Perez]

So you have to talk to your mom.

[Aaron Blair]

Yes.

[Eduardo Perez]

About all the shit you bought. Buy the video games, the figurines, swords. The swords.

[Aaron Blair]

I. Yes. Yes.

[Eduardo Perez]

Does your mom. And your mom. Then your mom goes over all the stuff that you bought.

[Aaron Blair]

She does.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Oh, my God.

[Aaron Blair]

But here's the thing you don't understand.

[Eduardo Perez]

She's into it.

[Aaron Blair]

She's into it. I get to talk to her about it. She does not say, oh, you bought a Spider man costume. She's like, how many Spider man costumes

[Eduardo Perez]

can we write off?

[Matt Gourley]

That's nice.

[Aaron Blair]

She's fully into it.

[Eduardo Perez]

She asked me. She asked, how can you write off a Spider man costume?

[Aaron Blair]

Because I, I. I work for you. What are you talking about a minute?

[Eduardo Perez]

Because you work for me, you're allowed to have the government pay for part of your Spider man, the whole thing.

[Sonam Obsessian]

You're blaming Gil for fraud?

[Aaron Blair]

Look at this.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yes, I'm sorry. I think you and Gil are guilty of fraud.

[Aaron Blair]

It's all above board. This is how good my mom. This is how cool my mom is. She. I was going to go to the Renaissance Fair, and she's like, maybe you should buy another sword. We could write that off. And I was like, wait a minute.

[Eduardo Perez]

Explain to me. Oh, wait a minute. I think we have a lawyer. Probably not in today, but he could join us.

[Aaron Blair]

I want to know.

[Eduardo Perez]

Listen, listen. Why? Why? The fact that you work for Conan O' Brien doesn't mean that I just bought £900 of silly string and I don't want to pay for it.

[Aaron Blair]

If I can get you to talk about the podcast and I Bring in guess what?

[Eduardo Perez]

You to talk about it.

[Aaron Blair]

Who get you to talk about has.

[Eduardo Perez]

So you're the puppet master.

[Aaron Blair]

I'm not. I'm just. I'm the worm tongue. I'm worm tongue. I whisper in your ear.

[Eduardo Perez]

Who is talked about.

[Aaron Blair]

Who is talked about has managed to bring in his sword two years in a row and his new act. So that means Aaron Blair.

[Eduardo Perez]

This wasn't an idea that you thought was good for the podcast. You thought, I've got to write this fucker off. And I came in and I jammed it into the conversation. Conan be fucked whether it's good or not. And then you walk away and Uncle Sam takes it up the old star spangled yin yang.

[Aaron Blair]

It could be both. I can write it off and it

[Eduardo Perez]

can be good content.

[Matt Gourley]

I don't like it if we talk about something on the podcast. It's a write off.

[Eduardo Perez]

That's what.

[Aaron Blair]

It's part of my job. I need it for my job.

[Eduardo Perez]

I got to write off that Hillary Duff tickets going.

[Matt Gourley]

The Backstreet Boys tickets. Write off.

[Aaron Blair]

You should talk to my mom. She would say, right. You can easily write it off.

[Sonam Obsessian]

I'm a therapist. Is she even an accountant?

[Aaron Blair]

No, she's a therapist. She uses TurboTax.

[Eduardo Perez]

Wait a minute. She's. Wait a minute, wait a minute. You're. Your mom isn't even a tax. Your mom is not an accountant.

[Aaron Blair]

No, not.

[Eduardo Perez]

And she's not a tax.

[Conan O'Brien]

No.

[Aaron Blair]

And she's actually bad at it.

[Eduardo Perez]

So your mom is insisting on doing. And then she just hires TurboTax. She doesn't hire it and says, my son just bought seven Xena Warrior Princess chest plates.

[Aaron Blair]

That's right.

[Eduardo Perez]

And we want our cash back.

[David Oyelowo]

That's correct.

[Aaron Blair]

Yes, that's exactly right.

[Eduardo Perez]

This is a secret. This is. No, there's just. We are.

[Conan O'Brien]

We are.

[Eduardo Perez]

We are just rotten with fraud. There's just fraud permeating this whole. And I'm exposing it right now.

[Sonam Obsessian]

We're all going to get audited.

[Aaron Blair]

But it's not fraud if it's good content. We're making a good.

[Eduardo Perez]

I haven't listened to this. I don't listen to this thing. I don't know if it's good content. I can't.

[Aaron Blair]

Okay.

[Eduardo Perez]

I want you investigated. I'm going to see to that. We're shutting this down.

[Matt Gourley]

In the corner.

[Eduardo Perez]

Adam. Adam.

[Aaron Blair]

I've never seen Adam laugh.

[Eduardo Perez]

This. Adam. I don't know what you're doing. You're supposed to be running this thing. You're the podcast whisperer and you're.

[David Oyelowo]

I feel really? I'm offended by Blake. I'm really offended.

[Matt Gourley]

I really feel like we've all been taken advantage of.

[Eduardo Perez]

He comes in with this shit.

[Matt Gourley]

I'm shocked.

[Eduardo Perez]

And he's like, I'm just trying to help the podcast. Oh, help the podcast. The podcast is a juggernaut. This thing's a. You can't beat this thing with a stick. And then you come in here with your Princess Galactica helmet, and we're supposed to get you off the hook.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Unbelievable.

[Matt Gourley]

It's such a scam.

[Eduardo Perez]

Unbelievable. There are inner city schools that don't have computers, but this guy has Xena warrior princess swords.

[Matt Gourley]

TurboTax plot twist is my favorite thing ever.

[Eduardo Perez]

TurboTax. Keep bringing up Xena under arrest.

[Sonam Obsessian]

You've brought her up so many times.

[Eduardo Perez]

She was brought to my. Lucy Lawless was brought to my house once at a party by someone on staff who brought Lucy Lawless. And I was like, what is Lucy Lawless doing here? I love her. She's great. Frank Smiley brought her to my apartment. And he was like, look, I brought Lucy Lawless. And I'm like, I don't know her. Well, you know her now. Anyway, that got you off the hook.

[Conan O'Brien]

My Lucy Lawless story.

[Eduardo Perez]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Good Lord. My guest today starred in such movies as Selma Lincoln and the Butler. Now you can see him in the new film Newborn. This man is a delight. He's a massive talent and a real joy, and I'm so happy he's back on the podcast.

[Eduardo Perez]

David Oyelowo, welcome.

[David Oyelowo]

Every time I think of you, it elicits good thoughts.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, that's so nice of you.

[David Oyelowo]

It's true.

[Conan O'Brien]

I can return that favor because not long ago, our booker, Paula Davis, brought up your name and said that you might be coming back. And I immediately said, I love that guy. You are so funny. And we just had a joyous time in our last interview, so I was so happy you could come back.

[David Oyelowo]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Really thrilled to have you.

[David Oyelowo]

Thank you. Thanks for having me again.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you're in a good mood. You came in.

[David Oyelowo]

You've.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, I asked you about your family. You said everything's going well.

[David Oyelowo]

Yes. I told you that my eldest son proposed to his girlfriend last night.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Aw. Last night.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I just watched a video of it.

[David Oyelowo]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Which then I reposted.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yeah. I got excited.

[David Oyelowo]

Damn it.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yeah. And guess what? I put ads on it.

[Matt Gourley]

You monetized it.

[Eduardo Perez]

I monetized it. And I'm making a lot of money right now.

[Matt Gourley]

I'm just impressed you had a repost.

[Eduardo Perez]

No, it was a really beautiful moment.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you must be overjoyed.

[David Oyelowo]

I can't even begin to tell you. It just brought back so many memories because I proposed to his mom when she was 19 and I was 21. Wow. So we were babies. They're 23 and 24. My son's 24. And it just brought back all the memories of proposing to my wife and watching this video. I was on a plane from New York last night, and my wife sent me a text which came through as an imessage. And then she sent the video and it wouldn't download.

[Eduardo Perez]

Oh, my God.

[David Oyelowo]

And I couldn't get on the phone. And it was just. It was interminable, just saying, downloading, downloading, downloading, download. And, you know, just to not be able to. And then it finally came through, and I just. And you know, there's something about the oxygen on planes that makes you more emotional. And so, like, watching, I just. The feels were just roiling. So I am over the moon.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, congratulations to everybody.

[David Oyelowo]

Thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

I can't wait to go to the wedding.

[David Oyelowo]

So presumptuous.

[Eduardo Perez]

Presumptuous.

[David Oyelowo]

The video that invites himself to the wedding. Oh, my goodness.

[Eduardo Perez]

Well, I'm sorry. I'm just thrilled to be there and to get to sing a song. My dream.

[David Oyelowo]

Now you jest about this.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yes, I do. Yes, I do.

[David Oyelowo]

Well, I only say that because my mom, God rest her soul for all of my childhood, threatened to sing at my wedding. Now, the reason why you may sense a bit of trauma as I start telling this story is my mother was also tone deaf.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[David Oyelowo]

And she would insist.

[Conan O'Brien]

Also tone deaf.

[Matt Gourley]

We didn't want to tell you, so we had him come to tell you.

[Eduardo Perez]

Who's the other person in this story who's tone deaf? We.

[David Oyelowo]

You. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And she would take to singing when I was watching my cartoons, which is incred when I tell you so. Jesus loves me desire. That is the soundtrack of my childhood.

[Eduardo Perez]

And you're just trying to enjoy your cartoons.

[David Oyelowo]

Literally like, mommy, I can't hear David Banner. I can't hear the incredible hug. And she was. I rebuke you in the name of Jesus. Are you telling me I cannot sing?

[Conan O'Brien]

So, yeah, that's fantastic.

[David Oyelowo]

That's the backdrop to her saying, one day, I'm going to sing at your wedding. And so we had managed. We had managed. Cause she wanted to sing during the ceremony, the wedding ceremony. And we're like, absolutely. No way. Do not let a mic anywhere near her. It got to the speeches, and just picture it There's a high table. My dad finishes making his speech, is passing the mic to my best man, and all of a sudden,

[Sonam Obsessian]

oh, my

[David Oyelowo]

God, everybody, I'm going to sing a song because I like to sing. Not because it's my wedding. Not in, like, just because I like to sing.

[Eduardo Perez]

I like to sing

[David Oyelowo]

life's journey beginning when you are in love. At the end of every verse, everyone goes

[Eduardo Perez]

together. I like that's just screaming.

[David Oyelowo]

Five verses.

[Eduardo Perez]

Five.

[David Oyelowo]

She gets a standing ovation.

[Aaron Blair]

Yes, of course.

[David Oyelowo]

Because of the relief.

[Aaron Blair]

Yes.

[Eduardo Perez]

That had stopped.

[David Oyelowo]

But her interpretation. You see, if I made an album, it would sell like hotcake.

[Eduardo Perez]

Well, see, this is perfect.

[Conan O'Brien]

You need to go full circle, and you need to have that moment for your son and his bride to be. And I can do that for you.

[David Oyelowo]

Wow.

[Eduardo Perez]

I can do that for you. It's just a. I'm gonna put it out there.

[David Oyelowo]

Thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then you're gonna let it drop and.

[David Oyelowo]

Yes. And never mention it again.

[Eduardo Perez]

You're gonna start getting calls from your publicist.

[Conan O'Brien]

Conan keeps.

[Eduardo Perez]

What? Conan wants to know when he wants to bring his tuba.

[Conan O'Brien]

He plays the tuba.

[David Oyelowo]

Since he posted that video, he just will not stop calling.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, that's really.

[Eduardo Perez]

You know, I don't know if you

[Conan O'Brien]

have this, but you went through this, you said, when you were 21. 22. 22, yeah, 22. And I always have this all the time where I think I'll have done something when I was 22, but now that I have children that age and approaching that age, I always think they're too young to be doing any of the things that I was doing at that age.

[Eduardo Perez]

Absolutely.

[Conan O'Brien]

They can't be walking down the street by themselves.

[Eduardo Perez]

They're too young. What do you mean? You went to an ATM and got some money? That's something an adult does. And it's strange. We all do it. You're gonna do it with your kids, where your kids are.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, your kids are four now.

[Sonam Obsessian]

They're four.

[Eduardo Perez]

But you're gonna see that when they're 19.

[Conan O'Brien]

The idea of them doing anything that you did at 19 is gonna be just horrifying to me.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Well, even now, them having a complete thought and I'm blown away, like, just finishing a whole sentence. When did this happen?

[David Oyelowo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it is the joy about being a parent, but it is also terrifying. I mean, like, Jess was l when we got engaged. My daughter, my youngest, is 14. The idea that in five years. I mean, it's a ridiculous thought, but my dad didn't get married till he was 40, didn't have me till he was 42, and he was my hero. So I just thought, that's what I will do. And then I met this woman who I just couldn't picture any future days without her in it. And it just happened early. And I remember going to my dad and saying, this is the. The woman I want to marry. And he was just like, absolutely not. It is way too early. It is irrational. It is. You know, And I just. I remember saying to him, well, you're invited to the wedding if you want to come. If not, I'm doing this. And that was my position on it. And he had to kind of find his way to the reality of that. And the two biggest decisions of my life were in defiance of my dad, who I married, and the profession I went into.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, he was not a fan of you becoming an actor.

[David Oyelowo]

No, no. He said, why do you want to go and be a jester? Yeah, that's right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[David Oyelowo]

Which is what you do for a living.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Oh, Fern.

[Aaron Blair]

No, I.

[Sonam Obsessian]

And accurate.

[David Oyelowo]

No, I give my own self a layup.

[Eduardo Perez]

Why did I do that?

[David Oyelowo]

You're so, so nice. I started this by saying, I feel Conanified, David.

[Eduardo Perez]

I see myself as a visionary, and I see myself as a healer.

[Conan O'Brien]

I speak. It looks like I'm a jester or that I'm clowning about, but really, I'm holding a mirror up to society and healing it through my craft.

[Eduardo Perez]

Craft. I tried it. Original Penguin has been a staple of

[Conan O'Brien]

American style since 1955. Known for blending vintage, inspired flair with modern, effortless cool.

[Eduardo Perez]

The legendary Earl Polo features iconic contrast

[Conan O'Brien]

piping that works for dinner or casual outings. The new spring collection has officially arrived,

[Eduardo Perez]

featuring signature styles that prioritize being an original look.

[Conan O'Brien]

I am wearing one because they sent

[Eduardo Perez]

one our way, and I put it on.

[Conan O'Brien]

Fit me perfectly. I like it. It's a good style.

[Sonam Obsessian]

It's a great shirt.

[Eduardo Perez]

It's like a little retro without being retro.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Yeah. And it's flattering.

[David Oyelowo]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, maybe it's because I'm in such good shape.

[Aaron Blair]

It's the shirt. It's just a shirt.

[Eduardo Perez]

Just a shirt.

[Conan O'Brien]

Head over to originalpenguin.com and use code CONAN for 20% off your first order. I do like these shirts.

[Eduardo Perez]

Original penguin being original. You know, there are days that the

[Conan O'Brien]

travel perks that you get with T Mobile really come in handy.

[Eduardo Perez]

But then there are days that you

[Conan O'Brien]

just want to embrace couch life and you love you. Some couch life.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Loves me.

[Eduardo Perez]

Some couch life. And without ever leaving the house, T

[Conan O'Brien]

Mobile still has you covered. Find plans, including Netflix plus deals on DoorDash. The more benefits you use, the more value you get. I mean, why go anywhere when you can get your favorite takeout, binge a show and brag to all your friends? You won't believe what I'm not doing tonight. That's a brag. When you get to hang out on your couch and live life at its most supreme, it's so comfortable.

[Aaron Blair]

Ift mobile.

[David Oyelowo]

It's great.

[Aaron Blair]

And I always like to watch those, like, survival shows. And I like to get meat. It's like a steak and then like a survival show.

[David Oyelowo]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And that's my chance. The monster's eating the person. You like the meat.

[Aaron Blair]

Pretend I'm the monster.

[Eduardo Perez]

Exactly. You're a sick guy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Check it out@t mobile.com magentastatus wow. Receive Netflix standard with ads while you maintain a qualifying line in good standard. See DashPass details in the Tealife app. Sometimes staying home just feels easier.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, I'm tired from a long day of podcasting. The muscles ache sore.

[Eduardo Perez]

Oh, from podcasting?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Oh, okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Mostly my jaw, but also, for some reason, legs and buttocks. So sometimes a simple yeah, I'll come by. It's perfect for bringing a pack of Miller Lite. And when things go from low key to legendary, everyone knows it's Miller time. I love saying that.

[Sonam Obsessian]

You know you've had some legendary times with your bros, right?

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I've got a squad. I call them the squad.

[Eduardo Perez]

And I get together with whether it's

[Conan O'Brien]

whether Bob Zebnik or Rodman Flender, Greg Daniels. I get together with my bros and we grease up our bikes. We hit the highway and then we, you know, when we're done and we put our bikes away in a responsible manner, we enjoy a Miller Light.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Legendary.

[Conan O'Brien]

Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com conan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some mirror light pretty much anywhere they sell beer. If they don't, they don't sell beer. You know what I'm saying? It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. Your last name is so spectacular. I'm Qu. What does it mean? Is there a translation? Does it have a meaning?

[David Oyelowo]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oyelowo is ayelewo.

[David Oyelowo]

So Oyelowo is the Anglicized way of saying it. In Yoruba, it's Oye Lord and don't try.

[Eduardo Perez]

I don't want you to hurt yourself.

[David Oyelowo]

I don't want you to hurt yourself. Don't hurt yourself. But it means a king deserves respect is what it means. Yeah. So that is.

[Conan O'Brien]

So to have a last name that really means something. Great. Does your name mean anything? Mosessian.

[Sonam Obsessian]

I a n at the end of Armenian names means son of. So it's just son of Moses.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

Mine's just a verb.

[Aaron Blair]

Yeah.

[Eduardo Perez]

Hopping.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Hopping.

[Eduardo Perez]

Okay.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Yeah.

[Eduardo Perez]

Okay. I almost hired Jack skipping, but I went with David hopping.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think Conan is wide face.

[Eduardo Perez]

I looked it up once and I wasn't happy. Broad of forehead.

[Sonam Obsessian]

What is the O?

[Eduardo Perez]

The o?

[Conan O'Brien]

Brown. I've heard people claim that it means you're related to kings. But then you walk around Ireland and you go, no,

[David Oyelowo]

the Internet says little wolf. Wolf or little hound is what Conan means. Right?

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, okay.

[Eduardo Perez]

All right.

[Conan O'Brien]

I've never heard that before, so I

[Eduardo Perez]

think someone just put that in also.

[Sonam Obsessian]

It's little wolf.

[Matt Gourley]

It's not a full wolf.

[Eduardo Perez]

So your father.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is this correct, your father had tribal markings?

[David Oyelowo]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And was it Yoruba is the tribe?

[David Oyelowo]

Yes, the Yoruba tribe. So, yeah, tribal. He had. He had four tribal marks on both cheeks, and he had the word ballet written on his stomach. And this was done with blades when you were a kid.

[Eduardo Perez]

Oh, my God.

[David Oyelowo]

I know. Really intense. But I grew up with my dad telling me that the reason he had these four slashes on his cheeks was because he had fought a tiger. And I completely bought it. And it was incredibly useful at school every time my dad came to pick me up. Because anyway, who was messing with me? I was like, you see that on my dad's face? Tiger. That was a tiger.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you want that man mad at you?

[David Oyelowo]

Exactly.

[Eduardo Perez]

Exactly. Incredible.

[David Oyelowo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But we then moved to Nigeria, and I got picked up at the airport by all of my uncles. And literally, I was like, did everyone fight tigers? Like,

[Eduardo Perez]

what is going on? That tiger got around.

[David Oyelowo]

Did you just, like, went rampant on my family? This. This tiger?

[Eduardo Perez]

Yeah, I jumped in to save your dad. And I jumped in to save him. And I jumped in to save him. So you were.

[Conan O'Brien]

Where were you born? You were born in.

[David Oyelowo]

I was born in Oxford in England, and I was there till the age of two, so I don't really remember it. Then we moved to London, and I was there till the age of six, and then we moved to Lagos, Nigeria, and I was there till 13 before we moved back to London.

[Conan O'Brien]

I've been to Oxford twice, and I just went for the second Time, I want to say about five, six months ago. And it is hard not to feel erudite when you're walking around in that environment. And people have asked me what it's like, and I say it is the closest thing to Hogwarts on Earth that I have encountered. I'd never seen anything like that. And it's just got so much history. I know Cambridge is the same thing. You walk around these places that have been around forever 800 years. I don't know how many you know. And you think about all the insane talent that walked those streets.

[David Oyelowo]

I know. I think that's why my dad really wanted to be there, just to be around it, which is why I ended up being born there. And he decided he was going to go into the medical profession until, as he tells it, he realized he had an apoplectic fear of blood. And so, you know, I can't remember if it was a day that they were supposed to be dissecting a cadaver or something like that. And, yeah, he was out cold.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's not unlike my dad, who went to medical school and then I think late in medical school was around, you know, patients and blood and said, I want to be in a laboratory. And he did great work there, but I think he wasn't up for that part.

[David Oyelowo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean, to find the thing it is that you truly love and that it loves you back is, I think, Elysium. My dad took a while to sort of. I don't know that he ever actually found the thing that he really. Cause he.

[Conan O'Brien]

He would try a lot of different things.

[David Oyelowo]

Well, he tried the medical profession. Decided he didn't like blood. Decided. Wanted to be an architect. Couldn't really draw,

[Eduardo Perez]

you're gonna say, but he hated houses. Fear of houses.

[David Oyelowo]

So, yeah, I mean, you know, the happiest he became ultimately was he and my mom ran a sort of minicab firm in London. So that, yeah, just driving people around was the thing he sort of became happy with. Also.

[Conan O'Brien]

I've always thought if I needed to pick up a second job, I wouldn't mind being an Uber driver because I love talking to people so much and I love trying to find out what's going on in their lives.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And filming them when they don't know I'm filming them.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Oh, what?

[Eduardo Perez]

We'll get into that part later.

[Sonam Obsessian]

That took a turn.

[Eduardo Perez]

But you know what's funny is your

[Conan O'Brien]

career, your start as an actor was as all the best things are a little bit accidental because you said There was a. I've heard that there was a. Or read that there was a subway strike happening. And you think that this contributed to you becoming an actor. And I'm curious, how does that happen?

[David Oyelowo]

Well, because I was at this youth theater group that I'd only attended because I fancied this girl who, you know, I don't know that she knew it. And I just kept on going for her. But I was very shy. And we were rehearsing a play, and I would always just sit, you know, hoping I would maybe be in the chorus or something so that I could keep seeing this girl. And then one day there was a tube strike, like a subway strike. And the three guys who were being touted to play the lead were all stuck on trains. And so the director said to me, david, just read in and, you know, while we wait for the guys to

[Conan O'Brien]

arrive, for the real actors to come.

[David Oyelowo]

Literally.

[Eduardo Perez]

Literally.

[David Oyelowo]

And I very much thought of them as that. And I had the page, and I guess I just did it the way I thought it should be done. And. And I finished this speech and the room just went completely silent. And I thought, oh, it was that bad? It was that bad that these people are speechless with how bad it was. And then three days later, I was cast in the lead of this play. And although I didn't understand the significance of it at the time, this youth theater was at the National Theater, like the Royal National Theatre of Great Britain on the south bank in London. And so the very first thing I did was playing the lead on what was then the Cottesloe stage. It's called the Dorfman Theater now at the National Theater. And, yeah, it literally happened because that day, those guys didn't turn up.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Wow.

[Conan O'Brien]

If I had been one of those guys, I would have suspected that you messed with the tube.

[Eduardo Perez]

I did. I did mess with you.

[David Oyelowo]

I absolutely did.

[Eduardo Perez]

That's how my mind works. You know, you're down there, you're like, switching the tracks.

[David Oyelowo]

Yeah, that was me. That was me.

[Eduardo Perez]

I knew a guy.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, I've always noticed that it's not a rule, but it happens about 95% of the time that people from the United Kingdom actors are also sort of charming storytellers. And I have not found that to be true in other places where someone can be a terrific actor, but it's almost like it's something in the water or it's something that's prized and respected. That in Britain, Scotland, Wales, whatever you have to be. Or Ireland as well. You must be a good actor. But you must also be a raconteur. And it's almost like that is taught when I know it's not. But I think it's very much the rule.

[David Oyelowo]

It actually is taught because you're around these actors who. There is a tradition of it, actually. And as a young actor, what you're looking for is to sit at the feet of a Judi Dench, or as I did with Judi Dench or Alan Bates or Ralph Fiennes or Kenneth Branagh. You know, these are people I literally had the opportunity to work with. Like, I did a film called as yous like it with Kenneth Branagh. I did a show with Judi Dench, I did a show with Alan Bates. I worked with actors who were awe inspiring. When you were on stage with them, they had mastered the craft. And what I mean by that is when you get on the Royal Shakespeare Theater stage in front of. I think that stage is about 100 and, well, 1,500 people, or on the Olivier, which I think is maybe 1200 people, when you see someone be nervous in the wings, someone who you watched in the rehearsal room, playing with language like Shakespeare that is four to five times our vocabulary, and finding their way to the truth of it, finding their way to the meaning of it, and finding different interpretation time and time again. And then watching them nervous in the wings before they go on and become supernatural on that stage, when you're around that enough, it gets on you. And then when you're with them after the fact and they're talking about when they were on stage with Gielgud or Olivier, because there is something, and this is more in the British tradition, it is lauded, it is something that is celebrated, and it is a tradition that is very much outside of financial remuneration. The gift is the doing of it. And I think that in and of itself creates this aura of camaraderie and being part of a tradition that has been ongoing. And so there is something, and I sound so pretentious saying this, but there is something celestial about. I remember being 21, 22, being in a rehearsal room with a guy who had been on stage with Olivier and just going, okay, just soak it all in. And what I mean is it gets on you. And what then happens is as you climb the ranks of being a spare carrier, playing decretas like I did in Anthony and Cleopatra with my seven lines. And then within about three years, I was playing Henry Vincent in that same theater.

[Conan O'Brien]

So you go from halt, who goes there, to giving these incredible soliloquies speeches

[David Oyelowo]

that you will never conquer. Every night is basically an exercise in humility because it will kick your butt every night. It's why that playwright, especially Shakespeare, has lasted over 400 years. He tapped into humanity in a way that I don't think any writer has done before and ever will. And so it's the Everest for actors. And so when you have that and then you combine it with an audience and what I mean by celestial is that there is this vibration where they start telling you if. And you must have this as a comedian. They start telling you if you're telling the truth. And the moment, there is fracture in that. You feel it instantaneously. And if you do that night after night after night after night, it becomes muscle memory.

[Conan O'Brien]

We've all been around each other since we crawled out of the sea and we pick up on this. You could call it electrical. You could say there's a biochemical reason for it or it's just mystical and you don't wanna think about it too much. But we know when someone's tapped into the truth. And it's why I think juries, you know, they can make mistakes. But overall, they say, let's get a bunch of. Let's get a bunch of your peers and have them listen. And together they'll have a common intelligence.

[David Oyelowo]

You said it. It's true, I think, is the thing. And it's why anyone's favorite actors have probably at some point, been on the stage. I truly believe that because you have had the opportunity to be around the truth enough that that is now, as I say, muscle memory that becomes applicable to film work where everything is artifice. You know, it's a room like this with contraptions like this, and it's. And you're supposed to be in love with someone you met that morning. And it is an exercise in artifice. But if you know what it feels like to tell the truth under those circumstances you're describing, you sort of have more access to it.

[Conan O'Brien]

I just think. I mean, I'm thinking about the people that you've worked with not just on the stage in London, but in your film work. You've worked with giants in the industry. And, you know, you said that you worked with Dame Judi Dench. I don't believe I've met her. Someone now will come up with a video of me interviewing her.

[Eduardo Perez]

Now, I'm serious.

[Conan O'Brien]

This happens to me all the time, where someone will pass and I'll say, a shame I never met them. And someone will show me seven videos

[Eduardo Perez]

of me talking to them over a 15 year period.

[David Oyelowo]

Wow. Is this what I have to look forward to? Oh, I see.

[Eduardo Perez]

Oh, the minute you go, I'd be like, I would love to meet

[David Oyelowo]

1998. Damn it.

[Eduardo Perez]

All right. Well, she made no impression. I've always heard. I mean, she's spectacular, but I've also

[Conan O'Brien]

heard that she's just lovely. That she's just a lovely person. Lovely and funny.

[David Oyelowo]

Very, very funny. But what was so surprising about her is she said, I can't bear to watch myself. You know, she's one of those actors who can't. You couldn't bear to watch her. But the thing that was really surprising is she said, I learn my lines and I try to forget them so that I am completely fresh and present in the scene. And I thought, how do you trick yourself into like. And I was in a scene with her, and I saw this thing that is happening between you and I right now whereby you don't know what I'm gonna say next. And it is affecting your brain chemistry in a way whereby it's precipitating.

[Eduardo Perez]

It's a real hitting the ball back forth.

[David Oyelowo]

Correct? Yeah, correct. And she has maintained the discipline of being able to hold it close enough, but hold it lightly enough that she's constantly alive. And I just thought, whoa, that is so brave. And why she's so brilliant.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now, you do hold a distinction of being slapped by Oprah.

[David Oyelowo]

Oprah, yes.

[Eduardo Perez]

I think we should talk about that.

[David Oyelowo]

My claim to fame, guys. Yeah.

[Eduardo Perez]

I mean, as part of a scene, I've been slapped by Oprah just in

[David Oyelowo]

life, just for existing.

[Eduardo Perez]

No, I tried to cut. It was an 8 items or less line. And I tried to cut in front of her.

[David Oyelowo]

That'll do it.

[Conan O'Brien]

And this was up near Santa Barbara,

[Eduardo Perez]

and, man, she packs a wallop. But I had it come in and. Mad respect. But what was that like?

[David Oyelowo]

Well, you know what? This was during a film called the Butler.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yeah, yeah.

[David Oyelowo]

And we were doing this scene, and it was a scene, and it was a tough scene because Sidney Poitier is literally my hero. And it was a scene where my character was being very, shall we say, uncouth about Sidney Poitier. And as a result, she quite rightly decides to give me what for. Now, of course, in the film, she's supposed to slap her son in the world of, like, cameras, action, all of that. Don't actually slap me now. With each take, she got more and more into it,

[Eduardo Perez]

and she has probably reserves of anger about things in her life that she wants to get out.

[David Oyelowo]

I could feel her dragging up things

[Eduardo Perez]

that were helping her tell the truth.

[David Oyelowo]

And what was happening is, you know, so initially, you know, I couldn't feel any wind as she went. And it started like. I was like, each time she does this. So I could feel she was getting ever closer each and every time. And the very last time, she got the end of my nose.

[Eduardo Perez]

Oh, okay.

[David Oyelowo]

It wasn't a full slap, but it was the moment where I went. I think we got it. I think we got it, guys.

[Eduardo Perez]

Going to mention. Just going to mention. I don't know if this occurred to you.

[Conan O'Brien]

She has deep pockets.

[Eduardo Perez]

There's a lot of money there.

[David Oyelowo]

So I've heard.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yeah. And you could say my nose.

[Conan O'Brien]

I've never.

[Eduardo Perez]

I don't think I can act again. I use the tip of my nose a lot, you know. And then she's living at the Motel 6 and you're living in her house.

[David Oyelowo]

This is where you go. You go straight for the law.

[Eduardo Perez]

This is America. This is America. And that's all we do, is sue the shit out of each other.

[David Oyelowo]

You soon adapt. Damn it.

[Sonam Obsessian]

All the billboards you could call Sweet James.

[Eduardo Perez]

Sweet James. Yeah. That's the guy that is. Oh, his billboards are everywhere. Sweet James.

[Conan O'Brien]

It was funny you mentioned that, because we did something. The lovely Sophie Turner was gonna be on our show. And I've always had a good time talking with her. And she was coming on, and I read the notes and they said she might wanna try something where she. It involves her lightly slapping you. And I told her just before the show. So this is really on me. I said, if those things are gonna work, you really have to go for it. So I told her, if it's gonna work, you have to really go for it. You can't kind of half do it, right? So. And I'm not thinking.

[Eduardo Perez]

So we get to that part of the show and it's on tape, but

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm standing up and Sophie just lets me have it. She's a very strong woman.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

You took a shot of tequila first.

[Eduardo Perez]

I took a shot at tequila first.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then she hit me. And you can see I'm just. I went to a different place for a while.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yeah, for a while. I've traveled through time. I met many famous people. And then I came back all in an instant.

[David Oyelowo]

But give me some context. Was it for a bill?

[Matt Gourley]

It was a game. I think she called it Tequila Slaps.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yeah, but I don't know how it's a game. Cause it just involved me having some tequila and Then her punching the shit out of me.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah. You just take a shot of tequila and the person just slaps you and that's it.

[Eduardo Perez]

What a fun game.

[Matt Gourley]

She left the bottle.

[Eduardo Perez]

I agree.

[Conan O'Brien]

Not only did I agree to it, I. I saw it in the notes and I said, oh, and if you're going to. If we do get to that, I like to keep it kind of loose out there. I said, if we do get to that and it starts to happen, if you do that, it's not going to work. You have to let me have it. And God bless her.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yeah. She was like, all right.

[Conan O'Brien]

He told me. And. Yeah.

[David Oyelowo]

So is this because you wanted to sue her? Is this why you.

[Conan O'Brien]

That was the plan, unfortunately.

[Eduardo Perez]

Why?

[David Oyelowo]

I read she's destitute now.

[Eduardo Perez]

The. No, it's.

[Conan O'Brien]

It was. It. It is something to be in that

[Eduardo Perez]

moment where you're hit, which doesn't happen.

[Conan O'Brien]

Were you ever punched at all as a kid or were you ever in a fight?

[David Oyelowo]

Yeah, yeah. I went to boarding school in Nigeria and I remember getting into a few. A few fights. It is nothing until you. You experience being punched in the face. Nothing can prepare the ringing, the flash of white. You see, you know, you're saying, yep, yep, like you've been punched.

[Eduardo Perez]

Oh, I was, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I was, yeah. Punched really hard in the face.

[David Oyelowo]

Oh, really?

[Eduardo Perez]

It was a mugging by Sophie Turner.

[Matt Gourley]

It's always Sophie Turner.

[David Oyelowo]

What happened?

[Eduardo Perez]

It was. Again, it was Sophie Turner and she was robbing me about two years after she was on the show. And I had sued her into destitution, and she said, I want my money back.

[Matt Gourley]

She's still carrying tequila.

[David Oyelowo]

You kind of deserved it then.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, it was. I think I was 18 and I was walking around the north end of Boston and some kids wanted money and I said, no, and they said, why not? And I said, I don't feel like it. And just as I said like it, as I hit. Hit the T, I saw all the white and.

[David Oyelowo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Then they had to rebuild my nose from scratch.

[Eduardo Perez]

Did you get scratched? Did you get that?

[David Oyelowo]

The blood. When you suddenly your own blood goes down your throat.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, I had the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I was like a sprinkler. It was like you had a sprinkler system.

[Eduardo Perez]

No, it's standing dark now.

[Conan O'Brien]

I was fine. I bear no emotional wounds, said the guy who's clearly packed with emotional wounds.

[Eduardo Perez]

But what I did remember is they

[Conan O'Brien]

had to reshape my nose. And I had the whole black eyes and I was bandaged up for a while, and I'd be. There were bars in the neighborhood where I lived, and I'd be walking home from, you know, to my house, and guys standing in the doorways of bars. I always thought this was, you know, something you just see in movies, but they 201 would all step out and

[Eduardo Perez]

go, how's the other guy look?

[David Oyelowo]

Wow.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I'd say the other guy looks just fine.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Not a scratch.

[Eduardo Perez]

He looks. He's got the dewiest skin. He's, you know, just. I mean, he looks better than he did before.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm told it's important to treat your employees well. I'm not sure I'm ready to do that yet. But word has it it's a good thing to do.

[Sonam Obsessian]

It is.

[Conan O'Brien]

Justworks helps small businesses support their teams with everything from HR to offering better benefits. Whether you're hiring, automating payroll, expanding globally, or tackling compliance, these are things I do every day.

[Sonam Obsessian]

You're really. You are in charge of all that stuff?

[Conan O'Brien]

Wow. That was not helpful.

[Sonam Obsessian]

It really wasn't.

[Eduardo Perez]

But whatever. Whatever you're doing. Justworks offers 24.

[Conan O'Brien]

7 support from an actual human.

[Eduardo Perez]

Hello, actual human. No. Bleep, bleep, blurp, blurp. That means you can hire and manage talent without juggling multiple platforms or hidden fees.

[Conan O'Brien]

And get your team access to premium benefits like health insurance, 401k, and commuter perks. That's what I'm talking about.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Yeah, baby.

[Eduardo Perez]

You are really adding nothing. And with transparent pricing, you always know

[Conan O'Brien]

what you're paying for. Go to justworks.com to learn more. They do your human resources right, so you can do right by your people. Justworks for your people. Sometimes big things come in small packages.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yeah, I hear that all the. And I think. Yeah, but what are you talking about? Be specific. I can never think of an example. And then today I thought of one. Check it out.

[Conan O'Brien]

You may already know this, but Coca Cola mini cans are now available. They deliver big satisfaction in a small package.

[Eduardo Perez]

Finally, something that fits that phrase. Yeah, you know, they're available as single

[Conan O'Brien]

serves at a convenience store near you. You can go out and get these.

[Eduardo Perez]

Okay. And guess what? It's not just Coca Cola.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Are you a Fanta fan? Do you like Sprite? Do you like cherry Coke?

[Eduardo Perez]

Are you a loyalist for cherry Coke?

[Conan O'Brien]

I do love cherry Coke. I think you're the same way. And mini singles are available in all these options. It's terrific. So take a mini break with Coca Cola. No planning or overthinking required. Keep a mini can single in your backpack, stash one in the fridge. You know, you can sneak one under your partner's pillow as a way of

[Eduardo Perez]

saying, I'm thinking of you. Oh, that's so nice. Yeah. If I did that, my wife would be like, hey, this is nice.

[Sonam Obsessian]

You love me.

[Eduardo Perez]

You do love me after all.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's a mini that can bring some big can vibes. It really can.

[Eduardo Perez]

Sure.

[Conan O'Brien]

Coca Cola mini can. Big deal. Now available on the go. Well, I want to congratulate you because I watched your film Newborn.

[David Oyelowo]

Oh.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I very much enjoyed it. And it was not what I expected, which is rare. Usually when I watch a movie, I think, oh, I can see where this is going. And I was completely surprised by how this unfolded. It's a very powerful movie. And you. Am I right? This movie was made a while. Was it made a while ago? When was the movie made?

[David Oyelowo]

Yeah, it was made a little while ago. And it was one of those. The alchemy of making movies, man. We made it with a company that went into insolvency, and so we had to get the film and, you know, all that. And then there was a writer's strike and all this stuff before. We're now getting the movie out. But weirdly, I've had so many instances like this. Like, Selma took seven years to get made. Is that true? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. From when I first auditioned for it to.

[Conan O'Brien]

And it's amazing, too, when you see the finished product, you think, well, this was obvious and it wasn't. I mean, if you. You know, when you walk out of the theater after seeing Selma, if someone said to you, well, that took from beginning to. You'd think, well, that. No, this just looks like a slam dunk.

[David Oyelowo]

Right? Exactly. And it was the opposite. I mean, I watched five directors come and go before it ended up being Ava DuVernay. I watched that film go from Lyndon Johnson being the central character to it finally being Dr. King, as it always should have been. And to your point, you know, I truly believe these things. Cause I'm a big believer in the power of storytelling. And I do think often the ones that really go on to be impactful, they sometimes take time to come to fruition in the right way. And what happened with Newborn is that through the course of this protracted journey to the. Now that we're in, we got to go back and do reshoots and really analyze what it is we wanted to do with the film. Cause the film is about my character, Chris Newborn, who endures seven years of solitary confinement and is dealing with the. The detrimental effects of that mentally and is trying to reconnect with his family after coming out with his wife and his son. And that's very delicate, you know, because I talked to a few people who had dealt with that reality, Specifically a guy called Richard Rosario who had been wrongfully incarcerated for 20 years, seven of which were in solitary confinement. And the effects of it, I mean, after 13 days, studies have shown you're never the same because it's 23 hours a day in a 9 by 6 cell with fluorescent lights on all the time. And what that does to the mind, the psyche, the soul is. It's torture.

[Conan O'Brien]

What is the possible reason that lights would have to be on all the time other than to torture you? There's no rehabilitative effect to having lights on all the time.

[David Oyelowo]

It is the opposite of rehabilitation. And that's the point. It is punitive. It is purely punitive. And so it's the height of punishment. Anything and everything to make your life uncomfortable is what solitary confinement is. And you say it perfectly there. It is the opposite of rehabilitation, which supposedly is what we're supposed to be doing with prisons. But what people don't know is that 80,000 people, men, women and children, are in solitary confinement today in America. And so in order to tell this story in a way that wasn't just dark and challenging and traumatic, we chose to see what life was like for this man post the incarceration and how he goes on a journey to trying to reconnect with his family while dealing with his trauma. So it's a psychological thriller, but, you know, that's wrapped around a love story. You know, this guy trying to get back to his wife, trying to get back to his son.

[Conan O'Brien]

This analogy, which is it was proven long ago that if I think they found this out at the end of World War II, when soldiers were liberating some of the concentration camps, that the first instinct is to give all these people who are malnourished tons of food which can kill them because their bodies have been living with almost no food for years at a time. And you need to start very slowly and then slowly raise the calorie count in order for people. That this movie to me did a very good job of showing me that if someone's been in solitary confinement for seven years and then they're out and they're free and they're allowed to be out in the world and walking down the street and being outside, it's overload. It's absolute sensory overload. And traumatic. And so things that we think of as this would be love. I'd love to be with my wife and my son at a cabin in the woods, wandering around this beautiful countryside. What a lovely time. That's horrifying. And that came across really thoroughly in the movie. And I thought, this is a story I haven't seen before, right. Where someone's in an environment that I would love and to them it's a nightmare.

[David Oyelowo]

Well, so perfectly put there, Conan, because it's also about the things we do take for granted and how desperately as human beings, we need connection. Like human beings are designed for connection. And the ultimate way you dehumanize someone is to extricate them from human connection. I mean, we all to a certain extent felt that during the pandemic. And that was one of the most debilitating things, is this feeling of a lack of connection to other people. But that's exactly it. Him trying to reconnect, having been denied connection for so long with the. That essentially their existence is what kept him going. So he wants nothing more than to reconnect with his wife. His son has become non verbal because of some of the trauma he sees in his mother due to what has happened to his father. So, you know, all of that is happening and you can't tell what's in his mind and you know, what's perceived and what is real. And that's where the psychological thrill aspect comes in. But, you know, what we also hoped to do is to tap into how we can all relate to feelings of isolation. Whether it's loneliness, whether it's in your own head, whether it's childhood trauma, whatever that may be, and what is the path to healing. For that, I believe it's love. And Richard Rosario, the extraordinary thing, his wife stuck by him for the 20 years he was incarcerated. And her name is Minerva. And. And it's extraordinary to see him now, 10 years after he's been released, still dealing with a lot of what he dealt with. But it is extraordinary to see how love, in relation to that thing you talk about, of how you slowly bring someone back as opposed to just giving them a full meal, has sort of got this guy to a place where, you know, he can now stand up in front of people and talk about his experience.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, I was watching the film and your performance is extraordinary, as your performances always are. Then I was thinking about your, quote, accident, getting into acting. You go to the acting class because you have a crush on this girl and you just want to tag along. And I Look at. I think, wait, something isn't right here, because someone who can act at that level must know when they're a kid, they have this inside of them. That could not have been a complete surprise to you.

[David Oyelowo]

It was.

[Conan O'Brien]

Really.

[David Oyelowo]

It was. But. And this is where, gosh, as. Especially as an artist, if there is someone who sees in you what you haven't seen in yourself yet, that is just the greatest blessing. And often Oprah talks about this. I've heard a lot of artists, whether they be actors or musicians, that music teacher or that drama teacher or that literature professor or teacher that goes, holding on you. Yeah, yeah, there's something going on here. And I had that in a teacher called Jill Foster, who, you know, I continued to do drama, but it was baked into me by my parents that that's not a proper job. That's just not what this is going to be. And I idolized my father, and so therefore, it wasn't going to be that. But this teacher who. I remember her accosting me outside of a tube station when I was all set to go and do a law degree and saying, david, I wouldn't say this to any of my other students. I think you could do acting professionally. And I didn't even know what that entailed. And she went, well, have you considered drama school? I said, I don't know what that is. And she introduced me to what drama schools are, and she helped me with my auditions, and that's how I ended up getting a scholarship to go to Lambda. And, you know, the full circle of this kind of. Because within the last month, I went to see my son at the drama school. I went to playing in an adaptation of the play that I met my wife.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's crazy doing.

[David Oyelowo]

And it made me think all the way back to Jill Foster, that what she gave to me by way of advocacy is now having a generational impact, not just for actors. I will never meet my own son. And, you know, when I went to Lambda, I was the only Black student of 300 students at that drama school. I went to see my son in his play, and I graduated 27 years ago. And I now go and talk at Lamda every now and again. And a decent portion of the school is people of color from all walks of life, from all over the world. There's been some really great work done. And when I say to those students, when I say to my own son, I cannot believe what I'm seeing in relation to what my experience was. They have no real connection to what I'm saying, and I find myself thinking that's exactly what you want. You want them to not be able to understand what it would feel like to be the only. I want you to take this level of diversity for granted. And that is the driver for me with storytelling. You know, in terms of the characters I play. I'm always, to a certain degree, taking roles as a kind of gift to my 12 year old self in terms of the things that I didn't see on screen. Sidi Poitier was my hero because he was like looking at a Martian in relation to what I saw on British television, in relation to what was possible growing up on a council estate in Islington. And to be in a world now where that is not the experience of my kids, where they're going, oh, I have no one to aspire to in terms of someone who looks like me. That is a big, big driver for why I do what I do.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, it's really incredible. There's an amazing book. I don't know if you've come across it ever, but it's called Pictures at a Revolution. And it's about. It's a snapshot of the movie industry In, I think, 1967 when it's all changing. But there's a big part of it that's about Sidney Poitier and how he came along and what a pivotal figure he was. And I think in 67 he's in two big movies. He's in Heat of the Night, where he slaps a white man, which is still.

[Eduardo Perez]

Still.

[Conan O'Brien]

I get chills every time I see that scene he's slapped and he slaps the man instantly back. And it took people's breath away in the theater. And it still has that power.

[David Oyelowo]

Absolutely.

[Conan O'Brien]

Like you can see in some frames of a film the world change.

[David Oyelowo]

Absolutely.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I think he's also in Guess who's Coming to Dinner that year. So those are the two films he does in that one year. But then you think about, okay, he fought those battles and then Denzel Washington had his battles to fight that were different. And it just keeps getting passed on

[Eduardo Perez]

and on and on.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you want your son to grow up thinking, what's the problem? Yes, what's the big deal?

[David Oyelowo]

Absolutely.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's the gift.

[David Oyelowo]

Absolutely. It's the gift. And what's great about that story you tell anyone who knows Sidney Poitier's body of work always thinks he won the Oscar for In the Heat of the Night because of the impact of that slap and that role and how groundbreaking it was. And he Wasn't even nominated for that. Neither was he nominated for Guess who's Coming to Dinner. He won for Lilies of the Field. Earlier, earlier, earlier. And for a role where he was being nice to white nuns. And that was what was deemed permissible for him back then. It was deeply controversial to. In one year, you're gonna slap a white man and then fall in love with a white woman on our screens with us having given you an Oscar. Oh, no. Oh, no. And, you know, this is the thing about. I've heard it said. It's not about any given role. It's about a body of work. And that body of work is the thing that someone like me now takes for granted. I look at Sidi Poety, and I go, wow. But when you read about him, I met him, and it was just, oh, my gosh, I can barely believe it actually happened. And I remember Oprah introducing me to him, and she said, oh, yeah, David's gonna play Martin Luther King. And his eyes lit up. And I just thought, okay, just be present. Just be present. Just soak it up. Soak it up. This is really happening. Don't say anything stupid. Just, you know.

[Eduardo Perez]

And you were saying that out loud.

[David Oyelowo]

I was. I was.

[Eduardo Perez]

I was. Oprah, what's wrong with this idiot? Get him out of my presence.

[David Oyelowo]

But, you know, as you say, you know, that's what you want, you know, is to look, I think, at its height, storytelling. And this is what I tried to do with newborn. That was an incredibly uncomfortable role to play. My dad passed away on the first day of. He was dealing with colon cancer. And, you know, I had considered not taking the role. I said to him, look, Daddy, I just can't leave you. We were shooting it in Canada, and he was, no, no, you must go. You must go. This is what you're here. This is what you're on this earth to do. You must go. And this is from my dad, who originally was so against it. Yeah. Against what I wanted to do as a vocation, as a profession to. That was his last gesture.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, what a. I mean, what a gift that your dad got to see it all happen. And as much. You know, as much as we'd still like these people to be here, I always think about the fact that, well, my parents got to see plenty. They got to see plenty. And they got to know that it wouldn't have happened if it weren't for them, so. So that's a gift that just keeps on giving.

[David Oyelowo]

It's huge. It's the only reason I went And I did it. But I watch Newborn now and I can see. I can see I'm now removed from it because I've gone through my. Or I'm in the middle of my process of healing from the loss of my dad. But I can see the price. You know, I still carry guilt about, you know, going off and doing this movie. Even though I felt very passionate about doing it. My dad insisted I go and do it. But, you know, at its height, I do think these stories cost, you know, to hold up a mirror to humanity, especially when it's. Humanity's going through these very challenging things. But it's just. It's the greatest thing in the world to sort of in service of humanity, kind of try and show us who we are.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I always go back to. It's a crazy world. It's always been a crazy world. And there are bad things happening and bad things have always been happening. And everyone. Everyone just has to try and be. Do their work well and be a good citizen, whatever that means. Be a good person. Because sometimes that's all you can do. Everything is so big. But I think this is a tragic story because I think you would have made an amazing lawyer.

[Eduardo Perez]

We have a lot, David. We have many good actors. But to find a really good lawyer.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Yeah.

[Eduardo Perez]

Is hard.

[Aaron Blair]

Right?

[Sonam Obsessian]

He could have been the next sweet James.

[Eduardo Perez]

You could have been sweet James. Sweet James. And his. His new protege, David.

[David Oyelowo]

Darn it all those billboards I could have been on.

[Eduardo Perez]

You could have been on so many billboards. But whatever, keep fucking around with acting. Well, the movie's newborn. I. I loved it.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I. I am just enthralled by you. You're such an amazing person to talk to and it's like a tonic when you come by. I always feel good after you've been here because you're delightfully funny and insightful and just lovely across the board. So I will see you at the wedding.

[Eduardo Perez]

You know what this funny thing is? He thinks I'm kidding. To be like the graduate where this ceremony's happening. Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Can't wait to do it.

[Conan O'Brien]

All right.

[Eduardo Perez]

Thank you, sir.

[David Oyelowo]

Thank you. This is great.

[Podcast Host/Announcer]

Conan o' Brien needs a friend. With Conan o', Brien, sonam of session and Matt Gourley produced by me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leo. Theme song by the White Stripes, incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer samples, engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns Additional production support by Mars Melnick Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcast Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail] Conan and if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[David Oyelowo]

Foreign.

[Morgan Stewart]

Hey everyone, it's me, Morgan Stewart, and I have a new podcast called the Morgan Stewart Show. Join me each week as I talk about pop culture, fashion, my personal life and just a warning, I'm going to be giving my opinion on everything. I'll also have some really fun guests to join in on the fun the Morgan Stewart show is out now. Listen and follow wherever you get your podcasts or watch full video on YouTube.

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