
Comedian and actor David Spade feels somewhat sick about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. David sits down with Conan once more to discuss his rocky start in the business, developing a comedic and personal closeness with Chris Farley, how to kill at a corporate gig, and his newest special David Spade: Dandelion. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847.
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Conan O'Brien
Foreign. Do you own a business that's ready to thrive?
Sona Movsesian
I do.
Conan O'Brien
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I really want my business to thrive.
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You should. It should. Intuit QuickBooks is an all in one business platform that can help with day to day tasks like invoicing and expenses. You want to be worried about that stuff?
Sona Movsesian
That's perfect. That's what I. That's all I do.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
Sona Movsesian
That's my whole business.
Conan O'Brien
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Matt Gourley
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Conan O'Brien
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Sona Movsesian
Oh, God.
Conan O'Brien
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David Spade
Hey, guys. My name is David Spade and I feel somewhat sick about being just more like bad Tummy about being Conan's friend.
Conan O'Brien
You know, I think I've always had that effect on you.
David Spade
Be. I'll change it to Honored.
Conan O'Brien
Too late.
David Spade
Okay.
Matt Gourley
Fall is here Here they are Back to school Ring the bell Brand new.
David Spade
Shoes Walking loose Climb the fence Books and pens I can tell that we are gonna be friends.
Conan O'Brien
Yes, I can.
Matt Gourley
Tell that we are gonna be friends okay, hit it.
Sona Movsesian
Friendship is a good thing Quiet.
David Spade
It's a miserable life It's a miserable life.
Conan O'Brien
The whole rhythm of friendship is a good thing Quiet.
David Spade
Oh, God.
Conan O'Brien
It'S so insane. Okay, here we go. Hey there. Welcome to Conan o' Brien Needs a Friend, joined by sonam of Session. Hi. And Matt Gourley and I had something kind of sweet and uplifting to talk about. Oh, my wife noticed this. Suspicious. I know. This is. Even I'm suspicious. But of course the wildfires occurred and. Sona, you lost your home.
David Spade
She gone.
Conan O'Brien
It was terrible.
Sona Movsesian
Oh, my God.
Conan O'Brien
What? What's the matter?
Sona Movsesian
I just went.
David Spade
She gone.
Conan O'Brien
She gone. 70s yacht rocks.
David Spade
I know.
Conan O'Brien
Well, but you're. You're processing it. But it was devastating and we've talked about. And the fire came right. As I've said to people, we were crazily lucky. The fire came to the back of our yard, to the edge of our yard, and stopped and burned some stuff on the edge of our property. So there's. And there was smoke damage, but we were overwhelmingly crazily lucky. And I'm back living in the house now. Liza noticed that we had these fruit trees, this little small area of fruit trees in the backyard. And all of them burned and are like charred and had to be cut down and taken away. Except one. The pomegranate tree that your parents gifted me and Liza back when you guys.
Sona Movsesian
Hosted our engagement party.
Conan O'Brien
That's right.
Sona Movsesian
With just 200 of our closest friends and family.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
Sona Movsesian
No joke. Oh my God, it was huge.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, we had a big party in the backyard for your. And tax engagement. And a bunch of. I mean, obviously your friends and your family came and I was. I mean, I didn't think I was getting a gift. Cause that wasn't the point of it. But your parents brought this pomegranate tree and we planted it along with all the other trees. And it kind of doesn't make sense because all the other trees burned. And there's not a really good reason why this tree didn't burn.
Sona Movsesian
Yes, there is.
Conan O'Brien
Which is say.
Sona Movsesian
Well, pomegranates represent prosperity. So obviously.
Conan O'Brien
And it's part of.
Sona Movsesian
It's the Armenian voodoo that my mom put into the tree. It's protecting it protected your house. That's why it's fine. You're welcome.
Conan O'Brien
Did you have a pomegranate tree in your. Did your parents give you one for your house?
Matt Gourley
I had that question as well.
Sona Movsesian
I did. The tree survives.
David Spade
So she.
Conan O'Brien
Oh, wait a minute. Okay, but wait. Did your pomegranate tree survive?
Sona Movsesian
It did survive, actually.
Conan O'Brien
But it did save the house.
Sona Movsesian
No, no, it didn't survive.
Conan O'Brien
Maybe it just didn't know which house it was supposed to be guarding.
Sona Movsesian
It did protect the yoga studio that my neighbors built. See the tree? The tree, that's the closest structure to it.
Conan O'Brien
You probably faced the tree wrong and it probably misunderstood like a well intentioned dog. Don't worry, I Saved the yoga studio, you idiot.
Sona Movsesian
Oh, my Go.
Conan O'Brien
I have to say, because I've traveled to Armenia with you.
Sona Movsesian
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
Pomegranates and the pomegranate tree. It's like. It is a very important part of Armenian culture.
Sona Movsesian
Yeah. It's got a lot of symbolism to it. It's very. It's a very important fruit in our culture. And I think that. And also, it's not just. It didn't just survive. It's green and lush.
Conan O'Brien
Yes. I mean, ours is in bloom.
Sona Movsesian
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
It's spectacular. Looking as if nothing happened. Surrounded by stumps. Yeah. And I thought that was very cool.
Sona Movsesian
You now have to believe in the Armenian. I know we've talked about the, like, witchcraft my mom does and the things that she believes in. You have to admit that there's some truth. Something I never.
Conan O'Brien
I don't think I was a big denier of the power.
Sona Movsesian
Yes, you were.
Conan O'Brien
What do you mean?
Sona Movsesian
When my mom buried a baby doll in the front yard.
Conan O'Brien
Buried a baby?
Sona Movsesian
Yeah, But.
Conan O'Brien
Oh, my God.
Sona Movsesian
A doll in the front yard. You laughed about it.
Conan O'Brien
But wait, what was that for? I can't remember.
Sona Movsesian
For me to have b. And guess what? It worked.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
Matt Gourley
Through science, that.
Conan O'Brien
Now you had.
Sona Movsesian
Sure. My fertility doctors may have had something.
David Spade
Modern science.
Conan O'Brien
You had twins. Did she bury one baby or two babies?
Sona Movsesian
She buried one. But it's not like.
Conan O'Brien
Was it when you. Was it a real realistic plastic baby doll or was it like a Ken doll? Or was it a.
Sona Movsesian
No, it was like this doll I actually had when I was a kid. And it's gender neutral.
David Spade
2.
Sona Movsesian
It doesn't have any genitalia.
Matt Gourley
That's weird. The baby doll didn't have a big swinging dick.
Conan O'Brien
Went shopping for baby dolls. I like one with a big cock.
Matt Gourley
How ever did she find one like that?
David Spade
That.
Conan O'Brien
Wow.
Matt Gourley
That's a real.
Conan O'Brien
Those are hard to find these days.
Matt Gourley
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
Just insane.
Matt Gourley
Your logic today, Sona.
Conan O'Brien
I don't know. This doll poops, it wets, it cries, and it becomes massively erect and it.
Matt Gourley
Stars in its own skin after dark.
Conan O'Brien
Oh, come on.
Sona Movsesian
Well, all I'm.
Matt Gourley
Yeah, all you're saying.
Conan O'Brien
Let's get a little weird. Mustache, 70s mustache.
Sona Movsesian
No, it's gender neutral. So it didn't. It didn't look like a girl, it doesn't look like a boy. She buried it. And then I got pregnant.
Conan O'Brien
Right.
Sona Movsesian
With, yes, the help of fertility doctors.
Conan O'Brien
But still, I am not someone who. I say, if it's working for you, go with it. And I don't pretend to know the answers. I really don't.
David Spade
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
And so I'm. And I was very impressed. And I have been very impressed by Armenians and by your country. And I'm just like, you guys have this very strong spirit, and I think, yeah, I would give it up for any power that you guys have. And this tree surviving, I have to say, it's a powerful thing to see. It's cool.
Sona Movsesian
My parents, I sent them a picture of it. Cause Liza sent me a picture of the tree, and it's surrounded by just charred stuff. And they were really touched and happy that it survived. They were really, really happy. And my mom was not surprised by the way. She kind of knew.
Matt Gourley
I don't mean to ruin the moment.
David Spade
I'm just thinking of your mom burying a baby doll with a huge plastic dick.
Conan O'Brien
And the dick is sticking out of the soil, and then she buried it six feet under, but still. And then a dick is coming up, and then it flowers, and a pomegranate comes out the tip of the dick. Y.
David Spade
Yes.
Conan O'Brien
Yes.
Sona Movsesian
Oh, my God.
Conan O'Brien
And your mom just turns to a camera and goes. It's the power of Armenia. Well, anyway, we've ruined another episode of Conan o' Brien before it even started. Needs a friend. All right, my guest today is a hilarious comedian and a very old friend of mine. His latest standup special, David Spade Dandelion, is available for streaming on Prime Video. I am thrilled he's here today. I really do love hanging with this guy. David Spade, welcome.
David Spade
I think you should roll right when people walk in, because then you see the real. And then when I drop my bullshit act and I start being nice to everyone for the cameras rolling now. Oh, it is okay.
Conan O'Brien
Now, the whole thing where you said bullshit and we talk about how you hate Italians. I said, how do you hate Italian?
David Spade
I said it on the stairs. It doesn't count. We are on our way in.
Conan O'Brien
Thanks for being here.
David Spade
Do you have, like, a beginning, or is this the beginning?
Matt Gourley
Whenever you're ready.
David Spade
I've seen this show a million times.
Conan O'Brien
I'm clear. I love that when you walked in, they said. You said, which one's Conan?
David Spade
No, I know. I knew you were tall. Oh, this one with hidden cameras. Yeah, we have little. Dana told me all about it. Oh, you got the back out for what's.
Conan O'Brien
Well, I want to mention, first of all, yes. You and Dana do a great podcast, Fly on the Wall.
David Spade
Thank you.
Conan O'Brien
And you guys get all the backstage dirt on what's going on at SNL over the years. Plus, you talk to other people as.
David Spade
Well, but you get sort of watered down. We sort of ran through you, got through everybody.
Conan O'Brien
You know, once you had talked to Jim Brewer six times, you knew it was. You had to move on.
David Spade
Gervitz is always like, you haven't scratched the surface. Just, there's another 900 cast members. I go, yeah, but Bill Squankmeyer from 1988. At a certain point, we realized, I guess, people do like stars. And that's the sad part.
Conan O'Brien
Mark Gurvitz, by the way, if you don't know, he's been a manager at Brillstein for, I think, 75 years.
David Spade
70 to 100 years.
Conan O'Brien
70 to 100 years. He used to represent Al Jolson. It's a funny reference. Sony. You should look it up.
Sona Movsesian
I know he's old.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. Thank you.
David Spade
Hey, Conan likes money. I guess you don't like money. So he tells me, you want to do a gig in Ottawa tomorrow. I go, tomorrow. Sorry. I'll call Dana. He likes money.
Conan O'Brien
That's what Gervit says to you. So he will give you shit about not taking a gig because he says that Dana will take the gig.
David Spade
Yeah. And he just does it to make you feel bad.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
David Spade
Because they sit there in their office with their feet up and they get 10% of whatever. So it's better if you just say yes. And they hang up the phone and go, oh, he's on three flights to Ottawa. And I make money. So it's better if you say yes.
Conan O'Brien
At the end of the day. Yes. Oh, they like a yes. They like a yes. And they don't care what you go through.
David Spade
Not. Not at all.
Conan O'Brien
It's a pretty good gig. It's an Anchorage. You might like Anchorage.
David Spade
Somebody hates Alaska. I don't hate a lot. I think it's far. It's okay. I'll break it to Alaska. They're your fans.
Conan O'Brien
This is what it's like, you know, having a manager.
David Spade
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
You know, there. It's.
David Spade
But I have to. I have to say, I've had the same guy since day one. You know, when I got out here. I will tell you a quick story that. Do we have an hour?
Conan O'Brien
This is six hours.
David Spade
Okay. This will fit in perfectly, this one story. It's exactly 58 minutes.
Conan O'Brien
Right. It's about how you grew up until this moment.
David Spade
No, this is a good manager story. So. And I know. Then we'll get into steps, and I.
Conan O'Brien
Will quickly say, Mark Gurvitz. I've known him for a long time, and he's. He's a mensch. He's a good fella.
David Spade
Yeah. I think I've only told the story on 17 podcasts.
Conan O'Brien
That's okay.
David Spade
Have you ever had people say this?
Conan O'Brien
No one listens.
David Spade
I haven't told us anywhere.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
David Spade
And they ramp it up. Like, I go, I don't want to see this clip because I know it's all set up like. Like, I want you to make it a clip. Like, I shouldn't tell this. This is. But I'll tell this because it's boring. It'll fit right in. So I. Here's Spatie. This is before you knew me, before we fell in love. Yeah, this is probably. I'm 22, moved out here doing standup from Arizona. Got my first movie, got $6,000. I cleared 6,000, bought a car, looked for two weeks going. And I didn't just grab the first one. Like, first Camaro, what you would think, hot rod. I get in Honda Accord, I take the hit. I go, I just gotta get one that starts every day. Buy it cash, drive it to the improv, come out to show my friend. Stolen. So stolen. Not even an hour.
Conan O'Brien
Wow.
David Spade
And then it's so embarrassing. I'm like, here it is. And I'm showing. I'm a little buzzed. I went in and did a shot, and I kind of go, maybe it's on Kilkea. Hold on. And then we're walking, and I go, would it be on Beverly? Wait, let me check the 405. Because I just couldn't believe, like, where is my car? Where did I park it?
Conan O'Brien
You can't believe someone took it.
David Spade
I could. That didn't even cross my mind. I go, I just don't remember where I parked it. And then the cops go, oh, they probably sold it to you, kept a key, followed you and took it. And I go, so now what do you do? Spring into action. He goes, you'd think.
Conan O'Brien
One would think. I like these cops already. One would hope.
David Spade
He goes, I'm already forgetting about this as I walk back to my car. But I'll say, we're on the case. But anyway, nothing happened. So now I'm back to zero. I have to borrow money and stuff. Anyway, so this is a Police Academy movie. This is how it started. So I got that movie cleared that. And when I was there, I was so new, didn't know how to act. I wasn't the fine actor I am today.
Conan O'Brien
You've become quite the fast people.
David Spade
I. I was there, and this bobcat Goldthwait who was helping me out was like, hey, this director of mine is here, and he's doing a new show on Fox, which just started this. How old I am. And I said, okay, that's what I always wanted, like a sitcom or something. He's like, it's a single camera where you're like a high school, like FBI. I was like, oh, how fun, you know? So I said, how cool. So Fox, New network, I don't give a fuck, you know, so great. So he goes, hey, do you mind reading this script? Right? So he has sides. This is in Toronto during Police Cabby. Did you fucking glue this on to make me look stupid?
Conan O'Brien
Glue it on.
David Spade
Decoupage. So anyway, I go, okay, so I just read this. I just literally read it to him.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
David Spade
And he's like, great. Well, okay, you're not quite there. We'll work with it. I literally knew nothing about acting. Just read it to him like a story. And he goes, all right, but you got a little heat on you. This is what I didn't know I had done. Stand up at the improvisation for about six months. Some casting. I got this job as a skateboarder in this movie. And so now I get back and I've got those heat on me, which I don't even know what that means. Just like, oh, they're talking about you. So I got a manager, my agent moved to icm. So now I'm at icm, which is too big for me. I get home and they go, hey, this guy offered you that part, the lead in that show. And I was like, wait, my own show? I said, oh, my God, this is like a crazy. And they go, okay. So they have a big meeting in icm. I think Gervitz is there. And they go, here's why we're going to turn that down. You've got too much heat on you. That's a new network. We want you at NBC. They're doing Cosby Show. They're doing all that. And we're going to have a meeting with Brandon, Tartar Sauce or whatever his name is. And you're going to. You're going to get a job there. Yeah, he's heard about you. He's excited. He saw you do stand up. I go, oh, I don't know. Wouldn't it be better to the one I have as a thousand fucking percent on offer. No, no, no. And maybe like 20 grand a week. Whatever. Some magnanimous number. So I said, oh, so we're all agreed, all 12 agents. I don't do this. Okay. So then I meet Tartikoff. They have me read something, right? So now I'm a free agent.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
David Spade
My fucking casting director goes, oh, you're about to go in. I think we're doing these sides now. I should never have taken them. I took them. I go, okay. I had been coached on a little scene he wanted me to read. Now I walk in and do the Police Academy. Read again. Blah, blah, blah. Read it. I leave. Gerwitz goes, all the people that just got a development deal at NBC take one step forward. Not so fast, Spade. I go, what do you mean? He goes, you were too green. They saw you read, you're not ready, but they like it, and they're going to keep an eye on you. And I go, so now what? He goes, now we hit the pave and start auditioning. So I auditioned for 30 pilots that year and got none. Not even one callback. I didn't know what I was doing.
Conan O'Brien
Right?
David Spade
And then he goes, you know what? Fuck icm. Let's leave him. Let's go to. There's a smaller agency, Abrams, which is medium. Right. They're good. This guy loves you. And I was spinning out. I could not believe what was going on. I'm, like, lost everything, Lost my heat. They all think I'm bad. And I got into classes to act. And then I was with this agency. And I swear to you, about three years ago, we're at dinner in Gerwitz Ghost. And then ICM fucked him over and dropped him. And I go, no, no, no. I left icm, remember? He goes, oh, is that what I told you? And I go, no. What do you mean? Did they drop me? He goes, oh, yeah. I go, they dropped me. They're the ones that fucked me over. And he goes, I know. I couldn't tell you that, though, because. Just a tough biz. They said, we don't need him anymore. He didn't. It didn't click. And I was like, jesus. I said. He goes, you wouldn't have made a handle that. I said, I would not have. There's no way. I couldn't handle that. Just mentally, like, the rejection was so piled on by that point, I couldn't deal with it. So then I went and scraped my way over to, you know, SNL or whatever.
Conan O'Brien
Well, I mentioned this the last time you were on. I was present when you auditioned. I went with. And this was not common, but I.
David Spade
Don'T remember this, actually.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, I went with. It was not common, but, Lauren, there was a showcase.
David Spade
Yeah. And I can never say who was there.
Conan O'Brien
I can't remember yeah, Lauren. I remembered I didn't go to a lot of these, but Lauren wanted me there for some. I was a writer at snl. Young Whippersnapper. And I Hungry, Hungry. I go with Lorne and Schneider, I think was the same night.
David Spade
Yep.
Conan O'Brien
And the other guy was Tom Kenny. Tom Kenny, the voice of this is before. He was the voice of SpongeBob.
Matt Gourley
SpongeBob and Mr. Show.
Conan O'Brien
And so. And watched you guys and I remembered you were doing okay, and then at the end you did your Michael J. Fox impression and you killed. And I remembered Lauren us driving away and Lauren being like, you know, I liked the Michael J. Fox guy and then he liked Schneider, and so he brought you two in at the same time. And then I remembered getting to know you really when it was those Tuesday nights when we would stay up all night and write and you and Chris Rock and Schneider would be kind of wandering around to see who had what ideas. Do you know what I mean? And you'd come in, you'd go like, hey, fellas, anybody got any? Hey, buddy, got any ideas?
David Spade
And fucking help me out.
Conan O'Brien
Um, it's funny because I know you're special. Your standup special is Dandelion. And you have an explanation for why it's Dandelion, which is a little bit about your character.
David Spade
Fragile.
Conan O'Brien
Fragile on the inside. But I always found you, my read on you was always, this is a guy with you, you always had that kind of tough. Not tough, but I would say sarcastic, dismissive, super sharp shell. Shell. But I could always tell you were a very sweet guy underneath.
David Spade
I would say, yeah, I would say thank you. And I kind of agree that it was so tough there.
Conan O'Brien
Scary.
David Spade
And it was tough. It's the same reason I was sarcastic in high school. I wasn't as scared of getting beat up at snl, but in high school and grade school, I was in some bad places that I didn't like. And so it was sort of my thing being a bit of a pip squeak. So getting to SNL was the same thing. I'm just in over my head, clearly, and just trying to take it all in and going to doors going, I don't know what to do. Like here. You know, like everyone, it just takes so long to seep in and then figure out how to write on that legal pad and all that shit.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, that high tech legal pad stuff.
David Spade
It'S a pad and a pen and you just go, go. And then the door closes and I go, go do what? I write a sketch. Toonces. I don't know, I don't write my own sketch, I write theirs. Right. Who's the host? Do I get to meet a celebrity?
Conan O'Brien
But the thing, I'm sure you guys have covered this on your podcast, but the thing that about snl, that no one, and this is true of a lot of show business, how little supervision there is.
David Spade
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
I mean, you get to SNL and you think someone's gonna tell you, okay, here's how it works. No one tells you anything.
David Spade
They're almost mad you're there.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. Oh, they are mad you're there. Lauren's standard line when you'd encounter him in the hall was, still with the show. Still with the show. And you'd think, I think I am. We drink so much water every day, and it's just water. And I'm like, hello, boring. Yeah, there's got to be a way to make water more exciting. Well, guess what? Someone cracked it with authentic flavors and lively carbonation. Waterloo sparkling waters bring full flavor artistry. Blay, you're drinking one right now. Drinking one right now. I got the raspberry nectarine and it is tasty. It's very good. Very tasty. Everyone here in the office has been enjoying them. They're excellent. They are delicious. And, you know, you say what's fun? Flavor artistry. Some people think, oh, you're just talking a lot of high class nonsense, Conan. No, it's about custom crafting, multisensorial flavor experiences of aroma, taste, and mouth feel that make you say wow, wow to that sentence. Waterloo waters are crafted, not formulated or off the shelf. Just purified sparkling water and non GMO project verified natural flavors, which I insist on.
Sona Movsesian
Me too.
Conan O'Brien
With zero calories, sugars, or sweeteners. I drink water constantly. I just had a couple of glasses of water and it was just regular water upstairs. And I regret that time.
David Spade
Boring.
Sona Movsesian
You'll never get that back.
Conan O'Brien
I'll never get that time back. Three full glasses of water. I wish it was Waterloo and I could have had. What did you have? Raspberry. You know what, what's that one cracking open? A peach right now. Okay, well, you should. You could have offered that to me. You just ate a second when I haven't had one. Oh, sorry. Nice. Thanks a lot. I'm so thirsty. Where are you working tomorrow? Give Waterloo Sparkling Water a try. Look for Waterloo Sparkling Water next time you shop. Learn more about the flavors from Waterloo sparkling water@drinkwaterloo.com when the world feels stuck in serious mode, Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles burst in to unleash pure, childlike creative energy. One awesome bowl at a time. And a shout out to my brother Neil, who is nutso for Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles. Many a time when Neil and I get together, even now in our advanced age, first thing we do is have some Fruity Pebbles or Cocoa Pebbles. Neil, I'm thinking about you. Eating Pebbles is a full sensory experience. Delicious taste, mouth watering aroma, vibrant colors and crispy flakes in every heaping spoon. It's amazing. The texture is so great, those little flakes. Fruity Pebbles are tangy and intensely fruity. Cocoa pebbles are rich and chocolatey, just like they should be because it's cocoa. Like an instant treat. Pebble cereals are loved by kids and adults alike. The magic spans generations. When was the last time you could say that about any product? Yeah, they turn every bowl into pure milk magic. Fruity or chocolatey?
Sona Movsesian
That's my favorite part.
Conan O'Brien
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David Spade
Jesus.
Conan O'Brien
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David Spade
I told Lauren when we talked to him on the show because, you know, it's a little easier to talk to Lauren now when all the stress is gone. He's fun to talk to because every year he would talk to the managers or whatever and go, I don't know. So can they. Can you just say he's coming back so he can keep his apartment? We're not there yet. So I would. For six years, I. Lauren was the.
Conan O'Brien
One that stole your car, by the way.
David Spade
Was it?
Conan O'Brien
Oh, it's a Honda Accord. I love those.
David Spade
Meet me.
Conan O'Brien
Someone give me a ruler. I'll jimmy it open.
David Spade
Take that prick.
Conan O'Brien
I know how to hotwire it. I learned it in Toronto at university.
David Spade
Things just got worse for you.
Conan O'Brien
I love that. That was revealed later on, too. Miss your Honda loin.
David Spade
Loin. You hold me back. I thought Vervitz told you I put the drop on you at icm. Yeah. So anyway, I says, I says, I says, I forgot you were an old sailor. I says, I says, I says, remember that Farley bit? I says, I says to him, I says right to his face, I says, I says, I says, I says. And I'm like, I go afterwards at read through, I go, you're not really going to do this on Update?
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
David Spade
Oh, yeah, I am.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
David Spade
I go, is that enough to kill with 13 words? Watch. And I did. And he did. But anyway, I tell Lauren every year he doesn't bring me back. And every year I have to get ready. I drag my mattress down, I have to sell it, I fucking get out of my apartment. Then about a month later, can't get a hold of me. He's an amaganzet. No phones. I mean, it's always the funniest. I can't get a hold of him. Then he finally goes, mm. He says, yes. So I go back, get an apartment, stressed out of my fucking gourd. And then when we had him on the show, he goes, you were never in any danger of getting fired. I go, lauren, look at me. There was some danger because maybe in your head, because it did work out, but it took a while. You were there. It took a while for me to get any. You know, you get a few snarky lines here and there, but I was not that valuable. I remember one time, Schmeigel said Schmeigel.
Conan O'Brien
Smigel Schmeagle is from Lord of the Rings. And he's the lowliest creature.
David Spade
Yes.
Conan O'Brien
And Then there's Robert Smigel. Smeagol, who's also in.
David Spade
And so Smyg says, because Schneider was acting up for something. And, you know, Rob and I have talked about this forever, but we were all handling it differently. And he goes, schneider's tough, but he is valuable, worth having around. And I was like, I want to be valuable. That's what it hit me. I was like, oh, you want someone to say in a position? Like, my goal was like, we need you around. Because he can go to Lauren, Rob. And he'll go, yeah, he's worth it.
Conan O'Brien
But.
David Spade
Cause Rob is a funny writer, you know.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
David Spade
And he had a kind of a gruff, abrasive personality back then, if that's fair. But I was the nice guy finishing last guy. And Rob was like, hey, I'm gonna get in there. But it was working, you know.
Conan O'Brien
You know, everyone. Stuff gets rewritten over time, and everybody.
David Spade
Yeah, yeah.
Conan O'Brien
And there's how you experience it. And this is actually kind of a big. A recurring theme on the podcast that fascinates me. So I revisit it a lot, which is I talk to these very famous people who've had incredible, like yourself, and then their take on it is harrowing. I felt like I wasn't gonna make it. It was scary. It was touch and go. I squeaked by. And then in the end, things kind of worked out. But that is not how anybody else sees it. They just see you as being someone who is like, okay, big star on SNL and then in movies and then many TV sitcom, you're just like a staple. But that is not how right it feels to you.
David Spade
I think in fairness, I'm pretty objective about it. I mean, most of things I say are lies. But when I look back, it was pretty. It was hard for me to get a foothold. I mean, obviously, Sandler caught fire pretty quick, and he's got so many moves, all these characters. Spoon man. Everything was happening so fast. I was like, holy shit. He really came in loaded. And, like, Dana obviously is so good on the show, and Farley right from the get go. So I just didn't have that. I was sort of just a comedian that could write some funny stuff, but took a while. By the end, I do. Like, I'm lumped in with Farley Sandleroque. I mean, that's just kind of how it is.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
David Spade
And I love it. So when I was just on a show, Rich Eisen, this morning, I mentioned you because I was saying that that chunk, when I got there, of talent around, which made me better was running with people better than you. And I said Conan and Smigel and I think Greg Daniels and all these writers and Downey and you know, I could go on and on Frank. And then you got Neil and all the cast and Mike Myers and our new guys coming in with me and Adam and Chris and Chris Rock and Meadows and shit. So that was just a big chunk of people that you could look to anyone and go, oh, I can learn something from this guy. I can learn how to write or I could learn how to perform or look at the table, read. It took a while to seep in and then I got better at it. But man, every I could have gotten if I left any year. I told Gervitz I wanted to leave once he goes, then what? I mean, where do you go? You left SNL and it didn't work. Now that's a hard place to be in Hollywood.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
David Spade
And so he said, just stick. Even when I wanted to quit to do movies. He's like, you're getting movies only because you're on snl. Do you understand? I go, I don't have any time to do them. Maybe one in the summer. He's like, but if you leave, it's hard to explain, but it's true. Yeah, you know, how did you.
Conan O'Brien
I'm curious. Cause I remember I was at your audition and I also clearly remember it's burned into my brain. Going into Lauren's outer office on the ninth floor, which is one floor above 8h, his little office that looks out over the studio and there was a.
David Spade
Watches the cows graze in rehearsal.
Conan O'Brien
But that's like the office that he moves to later in the week. That's not the office high up in the tower. And so when everything shifts to the stage for the second half of the week, Lauren's there. And I remember there would always be people waiting outside to meet with Lauren. And Lauren would keep him forever. And I have a very clear memory of this kind of stout, boyish looking, tousle haired guy sitting out on this couch waiting to talk to Lorne for like more than a day. And I went up and chatted with him. Cause he was Odenkirk's friend and it was Chris Farley. Oh, and then. And he was sitting there and he was super eager and he was laughing real hard. And so I took him on a tour of the stage and was doing that shtick I used to do where I would. If someone was already hanging a lamp, I'd be like, and hang that lamp and you over there, Joe. I was saying all their names wrong. And if the guy was on a crane, use the crane. That's the way. And Farley was following me around giggling.
David Spade
He would laugh his ass off.
Conan O'Brien
And he was. And I just said, I love this. He had the energy of a puppy. When you first go get the puppy, just so much fun. And then you guys found. Was it the two of you that realized, we have this thing or did someone else see it and go, wait a minute. You've got this energy of spade and you've got this energy of Farley. It's peanut butter and jelly. Let's put them together.
David Spade
Yeah. It was probably. It was either Lauren or the Turners. Because Bonnie and Harry Turner, great writer team. Yeah, writer. I forgot to say those two. But, you know, Lauren's like, maybe something about how they are at the office. I think that's how it all started. Like, I make fun of Chris. He laughs, tells me to make fun of him again. He laughs. Just we walk around. We go to Musso and Frank's or whatever. Not Moose and Frank's. Wally and Joseph.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, yeah. In New York.
David Spade
Yeah. And Huxley's. And all the places that have been condemned now, but in front of us.
Conan O'Brien
They were condemned then. You just still wait there.
David Spade
Still. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, so then that got that Billy III got written up, that one with the Turners, wrote that first draft and then I think, turned it over to Fred Wolf, turned into Tommy Boy. But that was also because Billy was Billy Madison that summer. That's so funny.
Conan O'Brien
I'm curious about something. Tommy Boy comes out and not thought of as a success initially. But then very quickly afterwards, you find out that it's huge. Is that correct?
David Spade
I think it opened number one, but not crazy. Through the roof. Right. And then. And then after time, it was looked upon more fondly over time.
Conan O'Brien
But, like, the video sales were insane.
David Spade
I think it went to 100 million. Yeah. They said that Paramount goes this video. They ordered Black Sheep after Tommy Boy for the following summer. They're like, start now. We gotta do another one. Maybe while we were. Before it came out. Because we shot it the next summer. So if I could still be doing those. That was the funnest.
Conan O'Brien
You know, I leave snl, go to the Simpsons. I come back and Chris, would you just sign that? That's great.
David Spade
Chris wrote Simpsons.
Conan O'Brien
It's worth less.
David Spade
I'm just trying to remember how I know you. The more you tell me, are more clues worth less?
Conan O'Brien
I come back to do the late Night show. And you guys were all so generous and nice. I mean, I'm the new late night host. I'm down on six, and I know all you guys. And so you're all coming down doing bits. Chris would come down and do bits, which I look at now, and they just. They fill me with joy. They also make me sad because he's.
David Spade
The one where he runs in on Letterman. I see a lot on Instagram. He runs down and grabs a guy and he throws him the garbage can.
Conan O'Brien
Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
David Spade
Unreal. That was one of the best pieces of television I've ever seen. Funny. Probably not super thought out. He's wearing a thick suit. The funny thing is he would wear like a T shirt, then a shirt, then a button down, then a tie, then an overcoat, then a cashmere. I'm like, God damn, dude, how do you move? Because my neck is fucked up. I can't wear more than two layers. He has layers. I like to feel tight and hugged. I'm like, God damn. But. And then he's running and he's sweating. I'm like, Like. He's like, why am I sweating? I'm like, you have 14 layers on.
Conan O'Brien
That's the other thing. Funny thing, too, is that he got tagged as the funny fat guy. But he was incredibly athletic and strong. Do you know what I mean?
David Spade
Agile.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. And he could do all these amazing things with his body. And I think in the same way, his hero Belushi, because he was paired with a beanpole Ackroyd at the time or whatever, you could think of him as the. The heavy guy of the duo, but I remembered him being just such an incredibly physical comedian.
David Spade
Yeah. I think it's an extra move that is surprising to people, but it's one more funny thing about him. Like, he can do those pirouettes. We did that skating sketch, remember?
Conan O'Brien
Yep.
David Spade
Bump up the jam. They will. And it was like Phil was Verne Lindquist or something, and I was Scott Hamilton and it was Nancy Kerrigan's show and Farley and Nancy Kerrigan. And he kept falling. Oh, that's gonna hurt him. He kept on over and over, and he got down to, like, zero points. But he was a really good skater, too. And so it was funny that he could skate well and you go, oh, that's a surprising move. And then when he does any sort of, like, ballet, he can do these weird moves. All adds to the funny. Yeah, yeah.
Conan O'Brien
Well, he is missed. Must be. I mean, I know that you had an incredibly close relationship with him. I miss him and knew him as like, a friend and a guy that I would do things with from time to time. But clearly it was must. I hope time has made that, I'm sure, an easier thing to handle.
David Spade
Yeah, I mean, we were all pretty close with him, and so any of that stuff. I remember one time he goes, I don't want to be known as the funny fat guy. I go, would you take the fat funny guy? And he said, it's a little better.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
David Spade
But I remember seeing you at another. This is another sad Norm's memorial where something did happen. Funny. Not the dying part, but there was other stuff that was going on. Right, Right. By the way, it was like. Brought to you by Netflix. It was something. Cause I remember going at the Talk and there was like a crane shot or something. I'm starting to cry. And they're like, push in. I'm like, is there camera dolly coming at me?
Conan O'Brien
What was that? I spoke. I don't know if I was emceeing it or. You can't emcee at the funeral.
David Spade
You know what's funny? But it always just turns into that. Let's be honest.
Conan O'Brien
No, no, it's true.
David Spade
It turns into.
Conan O'Brien
I think I spoke about him up front and talked about him and then brought other people up on stage.
David Spade
The two things that I remember are, Lori Jo is sort of running it or whatever. And I said, laurie Jo. She goes, can you speak? And I said, I'm not good at that. I said, I would do it if I just do it right away up front, because I don't want to sit there and rot while thinking of onas. So she goes, okay. And it was like. Like Downey went up. Standing ovation. I'm going to bring Conan up. Standing ovation. Lori Jo goes, then I think you bring her up. She gets the standing ovation. And then we finally get back to you, and you finally go, all right, we're going to bring up some friends. David's fate. And so I walked up and I go, well, I guess the standing ovation portion is over, because I was the.
Conan O'Brien
First killed, by the way.
David Spade
Yeah, that was a good one. I should have gotten off, honestly. That was the fucking funniest thing that happened. And then. But when I walked up, I fell on those fucking stairs.
Conan O'Brien
Oh.
David Spade
And you caught me, I think, and you grabbed me and I think you fell, too.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. I'll tell you, I know exactly what happened. We're in this goofy. I don't know what venue we were at, where we were, but you Went up. You tripped on the stairs. I think I did catch you. You don't weigh a lot, so that was easy. It was like catching a packing peanut.
David Spade
94.
Conan O'Brien
90. I don't know. That's generous. 94. You fell and you started to float, and I grabbed you. You're like a balloon. But then I thought, what's wrong with Spade? Why did he trip on that step? So then cut to me, what's wrong with fucking Spade? He can't walk up. So then you do your thing. I go up to. Then take the stage again to bring up the next person. My foot catches on something on the step and I trip. And I turned it into, like, a roll and stood up again. And people thought, oh, Conan's doing, like, physical stick. But then I walked off stage and I said to the guy, that step, Spades tripped on it, and I tripped on it. And the guy went, yeah, that happens a lot. We should fix that someday.
David Spade
Yeah, he knew.
Conan O'Brien
He said, we should fix that someday. And I'm like, yeah, what happens when Dame Judi Dench is killed? I mean, the two of us can take a fall. You know what happens when it's the.
David Spade
It was pretty funny to me that he kept going. Like, it felt like most people trip. And I'm like, well, this isn't anomaly, like, with me. I look over and thought he'd be like this. He was like this. Like, yep, another one bites another one.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. And then he said, like, I. I went into it with him a little bit. I went, what do you mean? He was like, well, you know, it's higher than the other steps. Like, each other step is exactly 4 inches.
David Spade
Like this.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. And then there's one that's like five. And he said, and it's also uneven and it's coming off. Fix it.
David Spade
And there's also an earthquake.
Conan O'Brien
That's not my union, you know, So.
David Spade
I mean, I don't know how many of these funerals you host, but you did. You did a good job.
Conan O'Brien
I have. You know, it's weird. I became the funeral guy because I've done a bunch. Really?
David Spade
Oh, boy.
Conan O'Brien
And. And I really fret over them and worry about them because it's. It's not just a regular thing. You're really trying to think of who was this person. And now they're starting to rack up where it's like. Like, I've done a bunch too many.
David Spade
It's hard. You're good at that stuff.
Matt Gourley
You're doing the Popes.
Conan O'Brien
I'm doing the Popes.
David Spade
Is The Popes gonna be in la. Can you get me in? This is. My friends always want to get tickets to Shit. Can you get me in?
Conan O'Brien
Hey, I just have to tell this one story, which is I have to tell this. Cause it's a Lauren story. But after 9 11, you know, there was like months and months and months of cleanup and it was an area that you couldn't go to, but sometimes people went down there and Mike Sweeney ran into Lauren somewhere. And Lauren knew that Mike Sweeney was my head wr. And they're chatting for a little bit. And then Lauren, to be magnanimous, said, have you been down to ground zero? And Mike Sweeney went, no, I haven't. He went, would you like to? And suddenly Sweeney pictured a velvet rope. And you are a Sweeney. But look. Yes, yes. Right this way.
David Spade
And there's the big pit we called ahead.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, I'll have the veal. And I'd like to be near that.
David Spade
Part of what I kept saying, which was never working, was I might head down to Ground Zilch. And everyone's like, catch on, huh? Ground zip. And they're like, are you talking about the 911 where people died? I go, no, no, I'm talking about something else. But that was tragic. But, yeah, I went down there like a week later because there's a 911 benefit where we all flew in and there was a concert and all that. Adam went on, everyone went on and they took us down. That was one of the perks. Oh, my God, it is.
Conan O'Brien
It was a weird time.
David Spade
It was so weird.
Conan O'Brien
It was such a crazy time to.
David Spade
Be a humble brag. I went down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you get close? Yeah, I got a little souvenir, but 9 11. Yeah, I know you think it's funny. It's not funny, but yeah. My friends. My friends. It's noted that you laugh, my friends.
Conan O'Brien
Sona.
David Spade
Can I. Sona, what the fuck is wrong with you? So funny.
Conan O'Brien
You're a monster. I'm crying. We're doing a thing about how it's not funny. Yes. And then you start laughing. It's awful. No, it is awful. You're young and stuff, but we lived.
Sona Movsesian
There and we went through it, so Ground zilch.
David Spade
Yeah, that was funny.
Sona Movsesian
So let's not forget he said Ground Zilch.
Conan O'Brien
No, let's not forget Queens 9 11.
David Spade
Yeah, yeah.
Conan O'Brien
David Spade called it Ground Zilch.
Sona Movsesian
Never forget.
Conan O'Brien
Never forget.
Sona Movsesian
Never forget the terrible day.
Conan O'Brien
No, that spade called it Ground Zilch. You're a monster. Let me ask you about Norm.
David Spade
Okay?
Conan O'Brien
You did stuff on. You were on the road with Norm. And a lot of us, when Norm passed, were shocked. And I kept thinking, oh, I must have been the only person that didn't know. And people all thought, well, Conan, you knew Norm, and he does his classic appearances on your show. And da, da, da, da, da. And I was like, I know. We were desperately trying to get him back. I desperately wanted Norm. On my last episode, we were trying to get him and not getting an answer back. And I thought, well, he just doesn't want to come. And I was bummed about it, but thought, he's probably got other things to do. That's too bad. Could be all time, great guest. And then he dies. And I just thought, well, I didn't know, but everyone else must have known. And then Jim Downey called me and said, you know, more or less, Conan, fuck you for not telling me about Norman. I said, jim, I didn't know. And you.
David Spade
And. And Jim Downey said, I would think Downey might know.
Conan O'Brien
No, Jim didn't know. Did you know?
David Spade
I did not know. And I.
Conan O'Brien
And you were touring with him.
David Spade
Well, I'd done some gigs with him, and then before COVID me, him and Dennis Miller was our last one together, but great. Super fun, obviously. And then. But. But, you know, we would talk and he. It was more about coming over for dinner. Same thing where he didn't tell me because he'd go, no, I can't. And then I. He goes. I go, well, it's just. Just me and you sitting 10ft apart, but something to do. And he's like, yeah, okay, for sure. And then that night, I go, where are you? He goes, david, it's Covid. And I go, what is it? So you're not coming? We're not supposed to leave the house. I go, I know, but we've talked about this. Like you're allowed to go places. And then. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, well, let's do it next week then. And then he just did that routine. And then until it was too late. But I didn't know. So I don't know who knew. I think Gervitz knew. And maybe.
Conan O'Brien
I think Gervitz. I think that's about it. Yeah. And I think. I mean, I think two things about it, and they're diametrically opposed. One is, I wish I had known. Cause I would have told him what he meant to me. And there's that feeling of feeling I wish I had known. And so initially I was mad that I didn't know. And Then there's the other side, which is great respect for him wanting to keep it private and him not wanting people to treat him any differently because he was sick. I don't know. So I have both feelings at the same time.
David Spade
Yeah, I feel the same way. It was just so overwhelmingly horrible that I just. Like then later it took me how it affected me where like it was. I was mad at him. Yeah. But I really. By the way, just not to lighten up the load, the feel here, because I know it's getting sad, but when we were at the memorial or whatever that special was for Norm. Yeah. Where we watched. We were watching the special. Remember that? We watched his special. That's why the cameras are there.
Conan O'Brien
That's a separate. That was a thing.
David Spade
Wasn't that after the memorial we were in the room.
Conan O'Brien
You're talking about two different things. No, there was a kind of a eulogy for Norm that I sort of spoke at and brought people up. And then there was a separate thing where Norm had made. He was planning to do a. It was fascinating. He was planning to do an hour and he had an hour together or 50 minutes. And he really had it in his mind. And he knew, I think. I believe. And Lori Jo would know better. I don't wanna speak for her, but I think he was planning to go into the hospital for what he thought.
David Spade
Was gonna be something routine maintenance.
Conan O'Brien
Routine maintenance treatment for his condition. So what he did was he said before I go into the hospital, I wanna record. So he recorded using similar technology like just a. Literally just a camera there. We're doing here is far more sophisticated. And he did from memory his whole 50 minutes. And it was really funny and great. He goes into the hospital and he dies. And then Lori Jo found the tape and they thought to round out the special or to give it something else. Let's have you, me, Sandler, Chappelle, Letterman. Who else was there?
David Spade
Molly.
Conan O'Brien
Molly was there. Molly Shannon. A bunch of might have been it and had us watch it. We hadn't seen it. Watch it in real time.
David Spade
And then filming us.
Conan O'Brien
Yes. And then talk about it right afterwards. And that part, I mean, I think it came out really well. But I remember being. It was very powerful to be in a room and have everyone else leave and shut the doors and then show. And then suddenly Norm was there and he's being hilarious and we're laughing and loving it and then it's over. And then I think we just started talking about it.
David Spade
No teary eyed at parts though, because you're Just watching them going. And then you start drifting, your mind going, okay, it's over. It's right before. And then we talk. And then it's funny because we're all talking. And then also we're like just a weird scene.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
Matt Gourley
Will that ever be released, do you think it was.
Conan O'Brien
I think it won an.
Matt Gourley
Oh, I didn't realize that.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, it was. I think it's on Netflix. Oh, your mistakes.
David Spade
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
That's nice. Yes, it won a. No, it.
Sona Movsesian
Can you edit out me laughing at 9, 11.
David Spade
No.
Sona Movsesian
No.
David Spade
Okay.
Matt Gourley
Because we never forget.
Conan O'Brien
Forget Nothing Special.
David Spade
We never forget who thinks.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. It's called Nothing Special, and it won an Emmy.
David Spade
Was it called Nothing Special?
Conan O'Brien
What's that?
David Spade
Was it called Nothing Special?
Matt Gourley
Yeah, the thing that you guys are watching is aired.
David Spade
Yes.
Matt Gourley
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
The whole.
Matt Gourley
His material.
Conan O'Brien
No, no, no. Just. And just. So we're.
David Spade
Has he been listening?
Conan O'Brien
This is his first podcast.
David Spade
He knew he won.
Conan O'Brien
He won a contest.
David Spade
Yeah. Is he a contest.
Conan O'Brien
He gets a contest winner. He got to fly in and we didn't. He told him not to talk. He loves the microphone. Isn't even real. No, it was. The special was. You see. It plays Norm Special, and then you see our reaction to it. So that's the whole. So you see both.
David Spade
Sorry.
Conan O'Brien
No, that's okay. Don't be sorry. Yeah, I, I. And that's humanity. You should feel terrible about your crimes.
David Spade
You know the memorial, the first one with the dolly shots, whatever that one was, that you were falling every.
Conan O'Brien
When people die, I. And I'm. I'm mourning them, I tend to do a tumbling act.
David Spade
Yeah, a little bit also, by the way, I think it was like 4 inches, and the next one's like 9 inches because everybody Their toe hit that thing. I'm still mad about that step, but I left in between that. And then there was like a part two. Or maybe it was the. I'm confusing him. But I had to come back.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
David Spade
So I had a. Or I just left during it because it was getting too sad, so I ran out. This is when I went to McDonald's. And in the Amazon special, I talk about that exact thing. I went to McDonald's in my suit and was in line, and the crazy guy comes out of the bushes and starts. Takes off. Shirts smacking.
Conan O'Brien
Yes.
David Spade
The guy ordering.
Conan O'Brien
Yep.
David Spade
So I go, let's back up, but let's park. I don't. I want to watch. So I went in and that whole thing takes place from the Norm MacDonald movie.
Conan O'Brien
I didn't. Real. Okay. So that happened from the norm thing.
David Spade
Yeah, that's a real story. And it was really happening. And I did get scared when he came in because I thought we were gonna get in a fight.
Conan O'Brien
First of all, I want it noted that someone you were very close to, a colleague and a cherished person, passed away, and you were present at the memorial, but walked out halfway through to go to McDonald's.
David Spade
But also.
Conan O'Brien
But then something funny happened, which you could use in your special Dandelion.
David Spade
I already got my set.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, you did your set set. So then you're out of there. I scored, and now it's time for some Chicken McNuggets.
David Spade
I tried to sound real, and it's. It's too many comics there, and I'm trying to sound like. Say nice stories about Norman. Everyone's just looking for punchline. It's such a weird scene because it's all comedians, and you're just like, I'm just gonna leave here, and everyone's gonna be like, who did well, you know what I mean? It's like, that's everything.
Conan O'Brien
It is. Okay, let's talk about this. This is a real phenomenon where a. A funny person dies.
David Spade
Yes.
Conan O'Brien
Who do they. Who are their friends? Other funny, professionally funny people. We get together when people pass on when they die. And there's a gathering. People speak. But you've got a room full of people who are competitive about getting up and being funny. And it's a strange phenomenon. These things are weird because you think, nope, it's not about that. But there's some part of you that wants to do well, and there's some.
David Spade
Nerves and some awkwardness. And I think it started. I went to Gary Shandling's funeral, and then everyone was like, bill Maher did great. I kept going. And then.
Conan O'Brien
Can I say something? Mar used props, and he had a lot of balloons. He was doing balloon work.
David Spade
Oh, he was. I don't remember that.
Conan O'Brien
No, I remember it clearly. And he had a whole trunk like. Like Gallagher or Gallagher 2.
David Spade
That was being filmed, too.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
David Spade
I think Apel film.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. They had to. Yeah.
David Spade
For something. For a documentary.
Sona Movsesian
Oh, I thought Gallagher was. Sorry, sorry. I got confused. I thought. I thought Gallagher.
Conan O'Brien
So you guys are here to help.
David Spade
She's throwing confusion.
Sona Movsesian
I am.
David Spade
You should do Gallagher three. Do you know what Gallagher two is?
Conan O'Brien
Gallagher two is his brother.
David Spade
Yeah. And he does Gallagher's act.
Conan O'Brien
Right. But I think. Are they. Have they both passed on to their reward? I think Gallagher won.
David Spade
Well, according to this podcast, I'm sure they did, because everyone's dying. So far that we talked about.
Sona Movsesian
You guys are dying a lot of death.
Conan O'Brien
Well, I'm sorry, but a lot of death.
David Spade
Sorry, we're jinxing everyone.
Conan O'Brien
We are two survivors here. You know, Sona, you and Doreally are young people. You don't know what it's like. We. We have been through the shit. We're like guys that were in war together.
David Spade
We're like in the Titanic. We're just talking about it.
Sona Movsesian
SNL together.
David Spade
I don't think that's it.
Conan O'Brien
It's a lot like the Titanic. Snl. Yeah, yeah.
David Spade
God, we talk about SNL forever. It's so embarrassing. But it is something to talk about, right?
Conan O'Brien
He said doodling. Hey, if you're bored, just let me know. I think this is. I actually love talking about this stuff and it's meaningful to me.
David Spade
We were both there.
Conan O'Brien
If you want to take a break and go to McDonald's, go. Just keep talking. You can get yourself the McGriddle, whatever it's called.
David Spade
No, I almost got beat up. That's a big story. You're not even concerned?
Conan O'Brien
Well, let's hear about it.
David Spade
Oh, I can't.
Conan O'Brien
Let's be real. I mean, it's time we got real. Don't you think, guys? Yeah, B2B marketing is pretty tough. It is. You can craft the perfect campaign, but if it lands in front of the wrong people, it might as well be invisible. Hey, where is it? Where is it? I don't see it. It's invisible. It's like. Like reaching pro gamers instead of programmers. You know what I'm saying? Makes a big difference. That's where LinkedIn comes in. Gather around, everybody. LinkedIn's a network of over 1 billion professionals who actually get business on LinkedIn ads. You can target your buyers by job title, industry, company role, seniority, skills, company revenue and. Did we say job title yet? I guess that's a joke. So stop wasting budget on the wrong audience and start targeting the right professionals with LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn will even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign, so you can try it yourself. Pretty cool. Just go to LinkedIn.com TeamCoco. That's LinkedIn.com TeamCoco. Terms and conditions apply only on LinkedIn ads if you're alignment in charge of keeping the lights on.
Matt Gourley
Grainger understands that you go to great.
Conan O'Brien
Lengths and sometimes heights to ensure the.
David Spade
Power is always, always flowing.
Conan O'Brien
Which is why you can count on Grainger for professional grade products and next day delivery.
Matt Gourley
So you have everything you need to.
Conan O'Brien
Get the job done.
Matt Gourley
Call 1-800-granger.
Conan O'Brien
Click granger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done. I very much enjoyed your special.
David Spade
Did you watch it?
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, I did.
David Spade
Oh, my gosh.
Conan O'Brien
I watched it last night. What are you talking about? When I talk to a friend and they have a special, I. You know what I liked is that you've got very funny material. You're obviously a very funny comedian, but when you notice something that's just happening in the real moment and fuck around about it, you're one of my favorites. And one of the first things he does in the special as you're talking, and I didn't even notice it, but I realize you're kind of doing that thing when there's a long cord mic chord, your mic chord, and you're trying to run. And you went, by the way, the cordless mic was invented in 1996, guys. And it's hilarious and it's not even part of the set that you had planned. And then you go on this whole riff about Jeff Bezos and give me.
David Spade
A shitty mic for my fucking special.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. And I noticed this at the SNL 50th, and I know I'm bringing SNL back into it, but for a reason. You did a sketch in that, and at one point you're not even in the sketch anymore, and you ad libbed a line. That was one of my favorite lines of the night.
David Spade
That's right. You told me. That was very nice.
Conan O'Brien
And I mean, it absolutely was hilarious. Which is a sketch is going on. You take us through it.
David Spade
I'm doing a sketch with Mulaney and Pete Davidson. Broadway, New York musicals. So it's kind of a long sketch.
Conan O'Brien
And it's about the evolution of New York throughout the different eras. Like starting out in 75, when SNL starts out. And then a bunch of people saw.
David Spade
This, and me and Peter are like two young kids. And he's telling us the story of how it started. And so as we go through. I don't know if they predicted this, but of course I got bored during it. So they have me, they write me in the middle of it. I walk in and I sit in the audience.
Conan O'Brien
You're in the audience suddenly, which all the way. People don't really know you. Like, suddenly you're not there, but you don't quite clock that. And then all of a sudden they just, where's David?
David Spade
He goes, listen, Jimmy. And then he goes, wait, Pete. He just breaks character. Where's Spade? And he goes, oh, I think he went back to the audience and sat in the audience. And then they look around, and then they have a camera at me, and I'm sitting in the audience, and they cut to me and I go, oh, yeah, no, I gotta feel for it.
Conan O'Brien
And so I asked around, and I think that was you. Was that your line?
David Spade
Well, they gave me a line, and it was something like that. And then Nate Wally goes, I'm not gonna give you a cue card. You got it. And I go, yeah. And then when it came to me in rehearsal, I said that. Which was basically something like the line. And then.
Conan O'Brien
Right, but you said it your way.
David Spade
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
And you were so dismissive, and it was so thrown away. You're like, nah, I gotta feel for it. And I. You know, I laughed very hard a bunch of times that night. That might have been my favorite moment.
David Spade
Thank you. That was fun. Cause we did a rehearsal and it worked. And then Melania was like, just do it like that. Like, whatever. It was perfect. It was fun to be at the 50th, and it was fun to be in something because, you know, we just go. And I thought Lovetz's line was funny, too.
Conan O'Brien
Oh, my God. Lovetz is at the American Girl store.
David Spade
He's sitting so far away.
Conan O'Brien
So he's. You know, they have people sitting, and he's at the American Girl store. And what was his line?
David Spade
And. And they go. Because they have the all Stars in the audience, but you can't fit everyone. And they go, where's John Lovitz? And then they panned the real American Girl story. Sitting with all these dolls around him. And they go, oh, Johnny goes, I'm not mad. I just want to know why. I go, sorry, John, that you're all. You're all the way over across the street in the American Girl story. I'm not mad. I just want to know why. Like, he doesn't get. There's not enough seats.
Conan O'Brien
He's like, we had a crazy night. I don't know if you're going be to. It wasn't that crazy, but we occasionally get dinner together. It'll be. And when I say we, it's you. It's Dana Carvey, it's myself. It's the same group. We always go to the exact same restaurant on La Cienega.
David Spade
Coy love it.
Conan O'Brien
And it's this thing we do, and we'll just sit around and talk. And I remember one night we don't. It wasn't planned. It was a total accent. We're leaving the restaurant. And we hear, hello, hello. And it's Jon Lovitz.
David Spade
What do we have here?
Conan O'Brien
What do we have here? And he is always himself. And he's always. He's one of the funniest people you'll ever meet because he's always himself. And whatever he's doing, if he's standing with an attractive woman, he'll say, oh, and this is, you know, this is Jessica. And then he'll look at me in front of her and say, jealous.
David Spade
He's also.
Conan O'Brien
He's a walking cartoon character and he.
David Spade
Knows he does play the Jon Lovitz. He does what you want to hear.
Conan O'Brien
But we were with him and we're all talking to him and then. I can't believe this really happened. But we all walk outside the restaurant and Lovitz is standing there and he said, hold on. They're delivering a car for me. And they delivered like one of those trucks.
David Spade
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Conan O'Brien
Was delivering a car to him at the restaurant. I don't mean like an Uber. I don't mean. I mean he was taking possession of a fancy car and looked to me and was like, jealous.
David Spade
Yeah, I was jealous.
Conan O'Brien
As they were lowering a car.
David Spade
You're Porsche, sir.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. And I thought, who. Who the fuck says yes? Well, yes, I'll take possession of my Bugatti and I'll be over at Coy looking for old friends from Saturday Night Live.
David Spade
Wait till you see me standing with them and then pull up when you.
Conan O'Brien
See me standing there and you see with them with their shitty cars. Make sure you wait. And then back up and have the car delivered. And it was. It was a happening. I loved that. Yeah.
David Spade
Yeah, we love it. There's always a cracker, but he has tons of cars. I'm shocked. I like cars. He has way more. He pulls up. Do you like it?
Conan O'Brien
You like it?
David Spade
He goes, how can I? Because he goes, you should get a Mustang. And he pulls up. This new blown out Mustang goes, how can I get you in this car? He's trying to sell it. Yeah, he is always a crack backup. Oh, also you. You did the Mark Twain. I saw you at the last Mark Twain that I was in, which was the Samler. That was really funny. Was yours. Was yours fun too?
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, it was a lot of fun. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. I was more fun than I thought it was going to be. I like, I really like showing up for other people.
David Spade
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
Being talked about, of course.
David Spade
Is it weird?
Conan O'Brien
I was dreading. And then I loved it. Yeah. Just because everyone was so Funny.
David Spade
And yeah, I just saw the lineup out there on the poster that you signed for yourself or something, but it was.
Conan O'Brien
No other people signed it to me.
David Spade
I don't know exactly what happened, but.
Conan O'Brien
I stood with a marker and I signed Letterman Mulaney.
David Spade
It's part of your deal. Sign here.
Conan O'Brien
I signed everyone else's name on it.
David Spade
Took the time. I was with Nikki Glazer in Vegas and she gallantly took a. We did our show.
Conan O'Brien
Yep.
David Spade
And she goes, I'm going to miss your set. I'm going straight to the airport. Went straight. Great. On the red eye to you. Got it together. I mean, that's a brutal.
Conan O'Brien
She killed. And I was just in Vegas yesterday and ran, I think drove by seven different signs for me and Nikki. Yeah, for you and Nikki. And I adore her.
David Spade
Yeah, she's.
Conan O'Brien
I adore her. And I adore you. I love the idea of you two being out there together. And that would be a show. I. I would love to see that show.
David Spade
Yeah, you'd laugh. It's funny. We just. And like what you're saying earlier. It's like when you do corporate shows, you probably do those when you. Dane and I do a bunch of them. And he fucking kills. He's exactly what they want. He exactly. I'm pretty much what they want, but he's exactly what they want. But whenever you do anything in actually any show, when I'm on the road, this tour, if you say anything that they don't think is scripted, like that mic thing, or you say something about this, you make fun of the guy over here with the lights. It always works 10 times better than whatever you're really.
Conan O'Brien
Yes, of course.
David Spade
It's so funny that it always works that way. One time I was doing this corporate, and this is just a dumb example, but it was like three nights. One night was like Stevie Nicks, me and then Journey, right? So I'm going backstage. They're like, and don't forget tomorrow night. We got David Spade coming. But don't forget tomorrow night, Journey. They would put up loudspeaker Shaft about six times before I go on. I go, hey, guys, guys, I don't want to hear one more thing about Journey, okay? We're here tonight. I don't give a fat about Journey. And all our contest winners that are in that it's not even all real Journey. And I'm ready to break it to you, but I said, we're here and I'm here and it's going to suck and we're going to get through it. And then you get your precious journey. And then that works better than the whole. Of course. Anything like that.
Conan O'Brien
Anything else you've got.
David Spade
And then I go, anyway, dogs are funny. And they're like, oh, I smell your act.
Conan O'Brien
Go back to journey. You really got it with that journey thing.
David Spade
Say about anything else.
Conan O'Brien
David, I've kept you here long enough.
David Spade
God, that did go fast. Conan, I have to say, we did a good job. We. I. It was nice and fun, and you were great.
Conan O'Brien
I think I did a good job.
David Spade
You did a great job.
Conan O'Brien
You were all over the map.
Matt Gourley
I think Sona and I did the best.
Sona Movsesian
Yeah. I think me and Matt.
Conan O'Brien
In your own way, you guys killed it.
David Spade
We learned about. Oh, Building seven over there.
Conan O'Brien
Jesus Christ.
David Spade
Yeah, Building Seven.
Conan O'Brien
So to end on a positive note, Pearl Harbor.
David Spade
Yeah, there we go.
Conan O'Brien
Sona doesn't know what you're talking about. David, on a serious note, I've known you. I want to. I don't know, I think it was 1989, something like that. 1990. I can't remember. It was a long time. I've known you a really long time, and I'm always really happy to see you.
David Spade
And thank you. It's really.
Conan O'Brien
You are a deeply funny person and also a sweet gentleman. I've always known you to be that.
David Spade
That sweet rumor. Hopefully it's sticking around.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, we're getting the word out there. It's not trending well. People aren't buying it, but there's a lot of pushback on it. But David Spade Dandelion is available to stream on Prime Video. I watched it last night.
David Spade
Very nice.
Conan O'Brien
It's really funny. And that's it. You're a good man on the road.
David Spade
Come see me. I know your friend Adam. Tell your friend Adam I said hello. Actually, someone said there is a house over there by you guys. I don't even know where you live exactly, but we keep it that way. Didn't it get close to you?
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
David Spade
You can take that.
Conan O'Brien
Oh, no, no, no, no. It's fine. The fire's got. Sandler and I live very close to each other. I lived closer to the fire than Sandler.
David Spade
Can you still live there? You cannot.
Conan O'Brien
Yes, I can. Yeah.
David Spade
Oh, great.
Conan O'Brien
Our. We're gob. You know, I'm very lucky. We were very fortunate that our house was close and we had to move out of it for a couple of months, but it was just smoke damage.
David Spade
Sorry to bring that up, but yeah, I'm glad yours is okay.
Conan O'Brien
So you saw us getting out with some good sentiment and some good feeling. And you brought up the fires.
David Spade
Yeah, I said quickly. I was racking my brain. ChatGPT what's the saddest thing that's happened recently?
Conan O'Brien
He fires in Los Angeles and it.
David Spade
Goes, this show's over. I wouldn't bring it up.
Conan O'Brien
So chat GBT knew.
David Spade
Yeah. Even it was a mistake. They know everything.
Conan O'Brien
I would have ended on the journey bit.
David Spade
Yeah. That really killed. I thought you had timing. You're proving. Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
All right, David, I hope I see you real soon.
David Spade
Yeah. Give me about 100 yards ahead of you and then you take.
Conan O'Brien
Take off.
David Spade
Yeah. All right, thanks.
Matt Gourley
Conan o' Brien needs a friend. With Conan o' Brien, Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley produced by me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Theme song by the White Stripes Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up@siriusxm.com Conan and if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a Friend. Wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Sona Movsesian
Every speaker can play the hits.
Conan O'Brien
But not every speaker can take the hits after hits after hits after splash.
Sona Movsesian
The new JBL Charge 6 waterproof, drop proof, dust proof, life proof, wherever you listen.
Conan O'Brien
JBL Charge 6 made to be heard.
Matt Gourley
KFC Phillips are back. Four delicious meals for just $7 each. That's great news for everyone except a driver and F1 the movie who only gets 2.5 seconds for a pit stop. 2.5 seconds? That's not enough time to indulge in juicy original recipe chicken. Oh, and he's gone. Creamy mashed potatoes, sweet pie poppers and a medium drink. Well, the rest of us can take as long as we'd like to enjoy any KFC7$Phillip. Then see F1 the movie starring Brad Pitt only in theaters June 27th. Rated PG13. Prices and participation vary while supplies last. Taxes, tips and fees, extra.
Release Date: June 16, 2025
Host/Guests: Conan O’Brien, David Spade, Sona Movsesian, Matt Gourley
Platform: Team Coco & Earwolf
The episode kicks off with Conan warmly welcoming his longtime friend and hilarious comedian, David Spade. [03:14] Conan introduces David, highlighting their enduring friendship and mutual respect. David humorously remarks, “I feel somewhat sick about being just more like bad Tummy about being Conan's friend,” setting a lighthearted tone for the conversation.
The discussion swiftly moves to personal matters as Conan shares recent upheavals caused by wildfires affecting his and Sona Movsesian’s property. [03:14] Sona reveals, “I lost my home,” conveying the emotional and physical toll of the disaster. Despite the devastation, Conan emphasizes their fortunate escape, stating, “We were crazily lucky,” noting that the fire halted just at the edge of their yard, sparing most of their home from complete destruction.
A poignant moment arises when they discuss the survival of a pomegranate tree gifted by Sona’s parents during their engagement party. [05:00] Sona explains, “Pomegranates represent prosperity,” attributing the tree’s resilience to her mother’s Armenian protective practices. “It’s the Armenian voodoo that my mom put into the tree. It’s protecting it, protected your house. That’s why it’s fine,” she shares with a mix of pride and humor. Conan marvels at the tree’s vitality amidst the charred landscape, remarking, “Our pomegranate tree is in bloom. It is a very important part of Armenian culture.”
David opens up about his challenging early days in show business, particularly his time auditioning for Saturday Night Live (SNL). [13:09] He candidly shares, “I auditioned for 30 pilots that year and got none. Not even one callback,” highlighting the perseverance required to break into the competitive entertainment industry. Conan empathizes, acknowledging the relentless nature of Hollywood, “You get to SNL and you think someone's gonna tell you, okay, here's how it works. No one tells you anything.”
The conversation delves deeper into the intricacies of managing a comedy career. David recounts his tumultuous relationship with his manager, Mark Gervitz, and the pressures of securing roles. [17:07] He narrates, “I went and scraped my way over to, you know, SNL or whatever,” illustrating the resilience needed to sustain a career in comedy. Conan adds insight into the dynamics of agency management, emphasizing the importance of persistence and adaptability.
A heartfelt segment honors the late Norm MacDonald, a cherished colleague and friend of both Conan and David. [44:57] David shares, “I did some gigs with him,” reminiscing about Norm’s unique humor and their collaborative moments. They discuss the emotional impact of Norm’s passing and the process of handling his memorial. Conan reflects, “I wish I had known,” expressing a mix of regret and respect for Norm’s desire for privacy during his final days.
Conan and David explore the peculiar tradition of comedians performing at funerals, noting the balance between humor and tribute. [53:09] Conan muses, “It's a real phenomenon where a funny person dies, who are their friends? Other funny, professionally funny people. We get together when people pass on when they die.” David adds, “It turns into a strange phenomenon,” acknowledging the awkwardness and competitive nature often present in such settings.
Shifting gears, the duo discusses David’s latest stand-up special, Dandelion. [57:11] Conan praises the special, saying, “You are a deeply funny person and also a sweet gentleman. I've always known you to be that.” David elaborates on his creative process, highlighting moments where spontaneity enhances his comedy. They laugh over anecdotes from the special, such as David’s impromptu riff on microphone cords and his impersonations, showcasing his sharp wit and observational humor.
Throughout the episode, Conan and David reminisce about shared experiences from their time in show business. [35:30] They recount stories involving fellow comedians like Chris Farley and Jon Lovitz, blending humor with nostalgia. David shares, “We did that skating sketch, remember?” while Conan adds, “He had the energy of a puppy,” referring to their high-spirited collaborations. These exchanges underscore the depth of their friendship and mutual admiration.
As the episode draws to a close, Conan expresses heartfelt gratitude towards David, emphasizing the importance of genuine connections. [66:21] He states, “I think you did a good job. We. I. It was nice and fun, and you were great.” David reciprocates, affirming their strong bond and the value of their friendship in navigating the ups and downs of life and career.
This episode of Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend offers a rich tapestry of humor, heartfelt reflections, and deep-seated friendship between Conan and David Spade. From navigating the tumultuous waters of the entertainment industry to honoring beloved friends like Norm MacDonald, the conversation captures the essence of camaraderie and resilience. David’s insights into his stand-up career and personal anecdotes add depth, making this episode both entertaining and profoundly meaningful for listeners seeking genuine connections and shared experiences.