Flula Borg Returns Again

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Flula Borg Returns Again"

Episode Information:

• Podcast Title: Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend
• Host/Author: Team Coco & Earwolf
• Episode Title: Flula Borg Returns Again
• Release Date: July 21, 2025

Overview: In this lively and humorous episode of Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend, Conan reunites with the eccentric and multi-talented Flula Borg. Joined by co-hosts Sona Movsesian and Matt Gourley, the trio engages in a whirlwind of playful banter, comedic sketches, and heartfelt moments, showcasing the unique chemistry that fans have come to love.

---

1. Welcome and Reintroduction

Timestamp: 02:00 – 07:00

Conan opens the episode by expressing how much he missed his co-hosts during his recent solo taping in New York. The conversation quickly shifts to reminiscing about past interactions and the joy Conan finds in making his colleague Adam Sachs laugh.

Notable Quote:

• Conan O'Brien [04:00]: "I've made Adam laugh so hard that he couldn't stop and ended up with his hand covering his mouth like a child beaten by his parents."

2. Flula Borg’s Unique Style and Persona

Timestamp: 07:00 – 17:00

Flula Borg makes his grand entrance, donning his signature fanny pack, sparking a humorous discussion about his fashion choices. Conan and Flula dive into a playful exchange about German terminology and cultural nuances, highlighting Flula's penchant for inventing quirky words and his love for all things Germanic.

Notable Quote:

• Flula Borg [08:06]: "I call it a baugtasche, which means a stomach pocket, which sounds like what a kangaroo has."

3. Personal Anecdotes and Comedy Inspirations

Timestamp: 17:00 – 30:00

The conversation shifts to Flula's upbringing in Germany, his journey to America, and his accidental foray into being a hype man. Flula shares amusing stories about his time touring with Conan and his experiences in the comedy scene, including his stint as a magician and mind melder.

Notable Quote:

• Conan O'Brien [22:30]: "You decided one day you would leave your father's cuckoo clock factory and come to America to find your future."

4. Flula’s Hobbies and Interests

Timestamp: 30:00 – 45:00

Flula discusses his hobbies, including coin collecting and his favorite video games like Zaxxon. The hosts delve into his passion for acting, his dreams of being a James Bond villain, and his love for Spider-Man. Their playful debate on linguistic twists and cultural references adds layers to Flula's charmingly quirky personality.

Notable Quote:

• Flula Borg [40:25]: "I have to write about three things that are wrong and three things that are right every day. Then I fix the things that are wrong or cry about them and move on."

5. Humorous Skits and Improvised Scenes

Timestamp: 45:00 – 60:00

The episode features several improvised comedic sketches, including a mock audition where Flula attempts to become James Bond. The trio engages in witty wordplay and absurd scenarios that highlight their comedic timing and improvisational skills.

Notable Quote:

• Conan O'Brien [33:27]: "Dr. Flula, you seem to have captured me in your volcano. What is your plan?"
• Flula Borg [35:26]: "I plan to just take all of the television shows, turn them into one big show, and then just blare it out into the spry."

6. Listener Engagement and Reviews

Timestamp: 60:00 – 70:00

Towards the end of the episode, the hosts read and discuss listener reviews. They engage with the feedback humorously, addressing both positive comments and playful jabs, reinforcing the community feel of the podcast.

Notable Quote:

• Listener KP [61:00]: "This is the best podcast to listen to during an MRI. It really helped keep my mind off the loud sounds of the machine and my claustrophobia."

7. Closing Remarks and Future Plans

Timestamp: 70:00 – End

Conan wraps up the episode by thanking Flula for his return and playful antics. They tease upcoming projects, such as Flula’s children’s album and potential stand-up specials, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating future episodes.

Notable Quote:

• Conan O'Brien [56:36]: "I adore you. I'm gonna say that in all seriousness, and I'm gonna look you in the eye, Flula."

---

Conclusion: "Flula Borg Returns Again" is a testament to the enduring friendship and comedic synergy between Conan O’Brien and Flula Borg. Filled with laughter, heartfelt moments, and creative improvisation, this episode offers both longtime fans and newcomers a delightful glimpse into the world of Conan’s quest for genuine connections. Flula’s unique charm and the hosts' effortless humor make for an engaging and memorable listen.

Transcript

[Conan O'Brien]

The Bad Guys are back. Dreamworks Animation the bad guys 2 is the high octane globetrotting action comedy of the summer. After struggling to go good, the bad guys will face their biggest challenge yet. The Bad Girls. I didn't see that coming. This movie is packed with attitude, swagger, laugh out loud comedy that will appeal to everyone. Thanks to an all star cast of actors and comedians. The visual dynamic animation style brings brings to life insane action sequences like you've never seen in animated movies before. Experience this movie on the biggest screen possible. My advice, get tickets now for The Bad Guys 2. In theaters August 1st. Have you ever been so sick that even the thought of standing up to go to the doctor made you even more sick? You probably had that song. Oh yeah. You have a very weak immune system.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, I don't think I have a weak immune system, but I've been sick.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, you're sick all the time. At least that's what you tell me. And then later on I see you in the clubs.

[Sona Movsesian]

You're sick more than I am.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. I think so. I always go to work. You're like, I can't go to work today. And I hear club music in the background. Amazon One Medical has 247 virtual care so you can get help while horizontal. And with Amazon Pharmacy, you can get medicine delivered fast right to your door. You just have to make it to your door. And if you can't do that, well, you know, it might be too late anyway, thanks to Amazon, Healthcare just got less painful.

[Flula Borg]

Do I have to tell the truth?

[Conan O'Brien]

You can do whatever you like.

[Flula Borg]

Great. Hello, my name is Phil Collins and I feel Susu Studio about being Conan o' Brien's friend.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Matt Gourley]

Fall is here. Here they are. Back to school.

[Conan O'Brien]

Ring the bell Brand new shoes Walking loose Climb the fence Books and pens I can tell that we are gonna.

[Flula Borg]

Be friends.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, I can tell that we are gon need friends hey. Welcome to Conan o' Brien Needs a Friend, joined by Sona and Matt, my chums, my amigos. I was in New York recently doing some taping for the pod. I was solo. I missed you guys. Oh, we missed you too. Not that much, but I missed you. I did miss you.

[Matt Gourley]

We weren't invited.

[Conan O'Brien]

Just to be clear, it's expensive. There's not a lot of flights that go from LA to New York. We looked into it. Hourly? I don't think so. Once a month, I think. But anyway, not a lot of airlines, not a lot of service between those two major hubs. My point is that at one point and I don't remember what it was because I don't remember things. But one of my happiest. I tend to make people laugh. But one of my happiest things ever is when I can make Adam Sachs, when I can catch him by surprise with something really insane. And I don't remember what it was. I did some bit and it may not be repeatable on the air. Is this on? Yep, yep. It is not repeatable on the air. Yeah, yeah, okay. It's not repeatable on the air because I say insane things.

[Flula Borg]

But I'm thinking now I'm tearing up.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I took. He started laughing. And what's great about Adam Sachs is that he's someone who's always kind of in control and he's very good natured and he's sweet. But twice that time and another time I've made him laugh where he can't stop laughing. And he holds his hand in front of his mouth and I got a. I took a series of photos. Oh, wow, it's him.

[Flula Borg]

I haven't seen these.

[Conan O'Brien]

You haven't seen these? No, but I. I have a very vivid memory of what you're talking about. It's this.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, yes, I know this look.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. And then he can't stop and his hand always goes to his face and he covers his mouth as if he was beaten as a child. If he laughed. I was so out of control that.

[Flula Borg]

In this moment that I was sitting.

[Conan O'Brien]

In a chair and I leaned over.

[Flula Borg]

And I slapped the floor really hard.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I don't even know why.

[Flula Borg]

I just could not control myself.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then I ended up in the floor. You'll have to tell me after the pod what it was. And I'm sure it was something that cannot be repeated. It's really funny. It cannot be. I'm a terrible person. But I think you're such a good guy that sometimes if I come in with something that's completely insane and not tracking, I can get Adam. And, and that makes me super happy because when it does happen, it's rare. It's like spotting this. You know, there's this creature in the woods that's only been photographed once. If I can get him, it's really satisfying.

[Sona Movsesian]

I feel like there are certain people on staff you hone in on. Cause they don't give it up to.

[Conan O'Brien]

You that one of your two children.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes, one of my two children. Also Samantha Curry, who works on our digital team, will give it up to you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Samantha. Love Samantha. And Samantha will just stare at me and say no and nod and shake her head no slowly. And I'll say, come on. She'll be like, no.

[Sona Movsesian]

And I see you working harder to just try to get something out of her.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. And it's funny because it's this fine line between disappointment and joy. I love the. I'm like a fish on a hook. Like, I've got to try and get Samantha. I'm not getting Samantha. If I really got her, it would terrify me.

[Matt Gourley]

You're like a comedy masochist or something.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, I am. I am. I'm drawn to the one who is. Mm, mm. No.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And she's really good. She's a very good straight. She's just like. And also, I'm sure she means it, but she's just like, nope, nope. Uh, I think I laugh a lot.

[Flula Borg]

I just. Maybe I don't.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, you laugh a lot, but you don't lose it. And to get you to lose it to the point where you're banging on the floor with your fist, and then it becomes. I mean, I think that was the day I interviewed Martin Short, and we had such a spectacular. And I love him, but I went away going. I walked away from that building across the street from Rock Forest center that day thinking, yeah, I got him. I really got Adam today. Not thinking about Marty Short, a comedy icon who graced me with his presence. I'm like, yeah, I really got Adam. I got it. Hey. Hey, you guys. I got Adam today. Who's Adam and who are you stopping? Vendors on the street. I got Adam. I got Adam. Would you like some of this chicken? No, I don't want your chicken. All right, well, we gotta get into it. We got a lot to do. My guest today is a hilarious actor. He's a comedian, magician, mind melder. He's lovely. He's a force. He's a force in the industry, and he's a good friend. I'm thrilled he's here. Flula Borg. Welcome. Your flulaborg. Please, please. You're an international man of mystery.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, the bag is out of the cat.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, it's. The cat is out of the bag.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, that's how you say it here.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's how we say it here. Oh, okay. Tell me.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

You and I have done many things together.

[Flula Borg]

13.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, we went to Berlin together.

[Flula Borg]

We did.

[Conan O'Brien]

You toured with me. I'm gonna say this up front.

[Flula Borg]

Say it.

[Conan O'Brien]

I love you.

[Flula Borg]

I love you as well.

[Conan O'Brien]

I delight in all things flg. He's a delightful fellow. We can't get enough. Flula, you are Such a funny fellow. I don't even think you're aware you're funny. You're just representing your upbringing, your country.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. Just human beings. Homo sapiens. Flula Borg. How are you guys?

[Conan O'Brien]

We're going really well.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, wonderful.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's wonderful to have you here. As always. You were dressed. And I know we're a podcast, but you can go and check out the video. You dress unlike anyone I've ever met. Always mitt the fanny pack. Mitt Sherman for wiff. Today's is. You never double up on a fanny pack. I never see the same fanny pack twice. We've discussed this before, but this one looks like it's made of molybdenum. The most powerful metal in the world.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. It's part of the periodic table of elements. Of course, this also, if you have something in your tooth, you have a tooth in your mouth. A tooth in your thing. You can check it in my fanny pack.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's very nice. It's like a mirror.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. On the wall. Who is the one with food in his mouth.

[Conan O'Brien]

Very nice. And so that's very useful. And of course, you always keep important items in fanny pack.

[Flula Borg]

Absolutely, yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

What do you call it in. Is it Austria? Where do. Where you're from?

[Flula Borg]

Well, I am. My originations.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Flula Borg]

I'm German. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. I didn't. I know. Austria is different. I think of it as all the same.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, yeah? It all looks the same to you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, it does. I'm sorry. You go to one of the girls, like, you want a strudel cake, and then you go to the other one, they're like, we'll have a strudel cake.

[Flula Borg]

Okay. That first one was Austria. The second one was Munich.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, well, I'm sorry.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm sorry, but when I'm in Austria, I think I'm in Germany, and when I'm in Germany, I think I'm in Austria. And if that's offensive to people out there, I apologize. I'm American. We're an ignorant people.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And if you wish to disagree with me, you can swim across the Gulf of America, find me, and we'll straighten this shit out. Oh, wow.

[Flula Borg]

Shots fired. At who? No one knows.

[Conan O'Brien]

No one knows. No one knows. It was a gun with blanks. Oh, okay. You are from Germany.

[Flula Borg]

That's correct, Cohen.

[Conan O'Brien]

And what do you call the fanny pack in Germany?

[Flula Borg]

I call it a fanny pack.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, okay. I wish it had a fun name, like a Glebenhauber.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, Glebenhauber is actually how you repair flat Tires.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, very nice.

[Flula Borg]

But if you'd like to, you may call it a baugtasche.

[Conan O'Brien]

Baug tasche.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. Which means a stomach pocket, which sounds like. Yes. What's a kangaroo have?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, yes. Say it again for me.

[Flula Borg]

Baugtasche.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now say it backwards.

[Flula Borg]

Es hausgitt.

[Conan O'Brien]

Nice. There's nothing he can't do.

[Matt Gourley]

You got very German. You said, oh, nice, nice.

[Conan O'Brien]

Fit the back of it.

[Flula Borg]

That was a very Stuttgart accent. Just saying.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm just saying. I stole mine from Dana Carvey, who probably stole his from a comedian in Stuttgart. You're also wearing. I want to talk about. I don't know what to call it. Would you call it a sweatsuit? What would you guys call it?

[Matt Gourley]

A tracksuit.

[Conan O'Brien]

Tracksuit.

[Matt Gourley]

Like a barbed wire hatched tracksuit.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, it's very strange looking. I mean, wonderful looking.

[Flula Borg]

This looks like if I swallowed an ikechi.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's great.

[Flula Borg]

But it's of Usain Bolt. Very, very systematic and low levels.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, yes. Very systematic. Low level. And appears that you're in good health. You work out a lot. Flula.

[Flula Borg]

Is this true?

[Conan O'Brien]

It is true. Because I shook your hand in the hallway.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, we did do this.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you crushed my hand. And the carbon in my body became a diamond, which I plan to sell.

[Flula Borg]

You should sell this.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm going to sell my right hand.

[Flula Borg]

May I buy it? Would you say, may I buy your right hand? Not for inappropriate reasons, Kelman.

[Conan O'Brien]

I might need it back, if you know what I mean.

[Flula Borg]

I do as well.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. Because of masturbation. Yes.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

How do you call that in your country?

[Flula Borg]

Masturbation? Schna.

[Conan O'Brien]

Schnozel, you say? I need a little time with the schnazel.

[Flula Borg]

It's time for it's schnatzel side.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I'm going to lock the door and have some schnazel.

[Flula Borg]

Why? Why lock the door?

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, in case someone walks in and.

[Flula Borg]

Goes, that's the only thing that works for me.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. So now some guys like to be walked in on.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay, thanks.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I'm just telling. I thought.

[Sona Movsesian]

I know, I know. Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

What do you mean, I know, I know, I know. Well, I don't know.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, maybe Matt wants to know that, too.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you like being walked in on?

[Matt Gourley]

Are you kidding?

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I don't know. With Kelly. You were pretty quick to walk in on her when she was in the bathroom on podcast. Never walks in. We've had, you know, all these other people on never walks in Kesha's. He had an axe. He took to the door that's true.

[Matt Gourley]

Are you a walker or a walkie?

[Conan O'Brien]

I know exactly. Do you like to be walked in on when you're doing it? What is it called?

[Flula Borg]

Schnatzel.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, Schnatzel.

[Flula Borg]

To be clear, that is what I call it.

[Conan O'Brien]

I call stybie. Stibe, I thought was when you do.

[Flula Borg]

The nipples, when you rotate counterclockwise and clockwise around your own areolas.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. Depending. Unless you're in Australia and you go the other way.

[Flula Borg]

Other way around.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Flula Borg]

Southern hemisphere. Reverse it.

[Conan O'Brien]

If you do it enough, you get.

[Flula Borg]

Radio Free Europe and blisters.

[Conan O'Brien]

Listen, you and I have a certain something which should never be released into the public.

[Flula Borg]

Agreed. Are we recording this?

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I hope not. This will be destroyed. Matt is giving me the signal that none of this is being recorded.

[Flula Borg]

Not a bit.

[Conan O'Brien]

And Eduardo is erasing as we go. He just keeps pushing. Delete, delete, delete.

[Flula Borg]

Thank you, Eduardo. Thank you, Matthew.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. Matthias.

[Flula Borg]

Matthias, Matthias, Matthias. Yeah, yeah. The th is just a T for us.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you have Germanic descent at all?

[Matt Gourley]

No, but I took two years of Germany in high school and watched a.

[Conan O'Brien]

Lot of World War II movies and I took a German. I took a German out for two years.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm trying to be clever. Is that a clever thing? No, I don't think so. I'm looking to the judges and no, it wasn't.

[Flula Borg]

Well, thank you again for taking me out for 772 days.

[Conan O'Brien]

You and I, we've traveled around. We have a good time together. You're a wonderful, funny performer, and I think you bring a fresh perspective because we are in a time in this world where people are suspicious of people from other countries.

[Flula Borg]

Really? I thought everything's going great.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, well, I have you on because I want to say, look, these people from other countries, they can be quite wonderful and delightful. Oh. And that is why, you know, I love to travel the world, but I also like to have world travelers come to me.

[Flula Borg]

Come to you. It's much cheaper. You do not have to worry about time zones and also the food.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, yes. I can't. The Wiener schnitzel. It's too much.

[Flula Borg]

You don't like it? You need your.

[Conan O'Brien]

I like Wiener schnitzel. But it's when they. Every meal, they say, would you like our special Wiener schnitzel? And they ask me, yeah, we just had that nine days in a row.

[Flula Borg]

Well, listen, you must go ten days every time. That's the rule. Double digit Wiener schnitzel, then move to the pomas.

[Conan O'Brien]

You. You're a delightful fellow.

[Flula Borg]

S. Are you Conan?

[Conan O'Brien]

And I did seriously want to ask you about your workout regimen in the past you told me that you worked with this. This guy who just, I think beat you with a leather cord or something. It was just. It sounded very masochistic. Your workout?

[Flula Borg]

Yes. This is Paolo Mascitti. He's a shame based trainer. He's from it. Yes. We share an axis history, but neither one of us was involved.

[Conan O'Brien]

So. Okay.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you. Did you. Was that your posting? Looking for a trainer from the axis.

[Flula Borg]

Must be either Italian or Japanese. Sorry.

[Conan O'Brien]

And not having been involved.

[Flula Borg]

That's correct, yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, if they were involved, they'd be like 110 years old now.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. And very wonderful with the cardiovascular. Yesterday, teach me your tips.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do one push up and then they fall over.

[Flula Borg]

Done.

[Conan O'Brien]

You. But he. It sounded. Your workout sounded intense with this gentleman.

[Flula Borg]

Well, it's very, very verbally abusive and so he's.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you like that because you're very self hating.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. I need all of the negativity. I turn this into positivity. It's like when you put a battery inside of a flashlight.

[Conan O'Brien]

It turns it on. Yes, yes, yes.

[Flula Borg]

If the battery's outside, what does it do?

[Conan O'Brien]

It does nothing.

[Flula Borg]

It waits to be inserted into your mag.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, okay.

[Flula Borg]

Do you know what I mean?

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I don't. I don't know what you mean.

[Flula Borg]

In this, Paolo is the battery and I am a large, metal, stiff flashlight.

[Conan O'Brien]

He energizes you. He fills you with light.

[Flula Borg]

He likes that rabbit.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, yes. And. Okay. Good God, I don't know what to do. But you, as a result, I've seen you without your shirt on. We won't talk about that.

[Flula Borg]

That's not.

[Conan O'Brien]

We actually have footage of it from our travel show to Germany. And the ladies, their eyes fell out of their heads. And some of the fellows. You look like you've been chiseled by Michelangelo.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, wow. Which turtle is that?

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, no, not the turtle.

[Flula Borg]

The great sculptor with a stick.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, yes. No, no.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, he had small knives.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, no, no. Michelangelo.

[Flula Borg]

What was the pizza?

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, just let it drop.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

What I was trying to say is that very impressive and this is an obsession of yours. Do you think that's very Germanic to want to have a powerful body?

[Flula Borg]

A Teutonic trait.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Flula Borg]

I need. Structure in life is chaos. What's happening? Nobody knows. You eat, you pee, you poo, you sleep. Sometimes I need an added activity. That activity is lifting things up and.

[Conan O'Brien]

Down in rapid succession.

[Flula Borg]

Well, sometimes, sometimes slow succession is also well, other thing that's good is Succession, the TV show.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, all right, let's not. You're always here to plug a show that you weren't on that no longer exists. Last time you talked incessantly about I Dream of Genie. No one's watched that show for 50 years.

[Flula Borg]

Really?

[Conan O'Brien]

Blink. Okay. No. Okay. Pretending to blink on a podcast is a waste of everyone's time.

[Flula Borg]

So no one could hear that?

[Conan O'Brien]

No one could hear it.

[Flula Borg]

Have you seen Little House on the Prairie?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Okay, again, you're plugging something that no one watches anymore.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, you do a wonderful service, Flula. If I may call you Flula.

[Flula Borg]

Please do it.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's my name, Flula. You make what you call a flalander.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, I do.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's a calendar, but it's a Flula calendar. And then you send it to all of us, and they're always delightfully fun.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because each month is you having a bit of a prank, some fun with the visual. And for 2025, your flounder was photos of you spoofing various movie covers and changing the title Home Alone. You changed to.

[Flula Borg]

Go ahead.

[Conan O'Brien]

Unsupervised Juvenile.

[Flula Borg]

That's correct, yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Speed changed to rapid.

[Flula Borg]

Rapid. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Austin Powers changed to Munich Strength.

[Flula Borg]

Munich Strengths. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And Scarface to blemish.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, of course.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you make these calend. And they're very funny and the visuals are very funny. And you send them to all your friends and they help get me through the year because I can be a depressive and sometimes I'm feeling a little down, and then I go and I look at your calendar and you're still down.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, I was going to say, does not change your mood.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, not at all.

[Flula Borg]

It tells you what day it is.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, I know what day I'm depressed.

[Flula Borg]

Well, yeah. Which day is depression? This one.

[Conan O'Brien]

Thanks.

[Flula Borg]

May 2nd. My favorite, I will tell you, is Betelgeuse was termite gravy. So stupid.

[Conan O'Brien]

You've had some success recently in film. You have.

[Flula Borg]

Geologically speaking. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

What's that?

[Flula Borg]

Geologically, it's been recent. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, please. I want to say. And last summer you were in the Amazon movie My Spy the Eternal City. Your co star was David Bautista. You played a serious villain.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

You love a villain.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, I like to be a bad boy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And it must be fun, because I know that that was me taking off my sunglasses. Oh, I know that you like. You're very locked in. And so when you get to be naughty on the screen. Do you know what I Mean, that must be a release for you.

[Flula Borg]

Well, when you are in line at the Chipotle waiting to order your bowl of burrito, you must be nice and friendly and courteous.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, yes.

[Flula Borg]

But when you are told, be rude to David Bautista, try to give him a woogie, then you do not have to be nice, and that's fine.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm sorry, Wooji is. Oh, you're trying to say wedgie.

[Flula Borg]

I don't know. It's when you grab the underwears or perhaps the bikini bottoms of a man or woman and go up.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. And then, of course, the fabric goes up into the.

[Flula Borg]

Ideally up into the anus.

[Conan O'Brien]

Into the fish. The fisher. Well, don't say anus.

[Flula Borg]

What did you call it? The fishery.

[Conan O'Brien]

The fisher. The crack. Yeah, the fisher. There's no reason to get to the anus. You can just say into the fisher.

[Flula Borg]

Into the fisher. Yeah, like Fisher Price likes the toys. KB Toys.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, F I S S U R E. Fisher.

[Flula Borg]

If you say so.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. I do say so. Oh, okay. You're an American, Al, buddy.

[Flula Borg]

Thank you very much.

[Conan O'Brien]

Our rules. And we know how we know our wedgies better than anybody. That's true.

[Flula Borg]

Is this true?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, we invented them. The wedgie was invented in America in 1915.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, Degrassi Jr. High.

[Matt Gourley]

That's Canadian.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, it is?

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, sorry. Canada.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're so screwed up.

[Flula Borg]

Are you speaking to them again? We don't know what's happening.

[Conan O'Brien]

We're working it all out.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. Our leader is taking care of it.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, great.

[Conan O'Brien]

And we trust him. You. You.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. Just say it, Conan.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't think you have a purpose. I think you are without rudder. I think you are drifting. And you say, what's your next question? Question? This is. You are a tornado of foolishness, of absurdity. What do you mean? What's the next question?

[Flula Borg]

You could have stopped it at, you don't have a purpose. And I would have agreed with you heavily.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh.

[Flula Borg]

What? Just kind of juice. Oh, it looks like blood.

[Conan O'Brien]

This I'm drinking right now.

[Flula Borg]

Erewhon. Yeah, I know from the color.

[Conan O'Brien]

We were sent a. I did an event recently.

[Flula Borg]

The Oscars. You might have heard of it.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I'm not bragging about that. It was this. I did an event for the show Severance, which is my favorite TV show right now. I love Severance. And they asked me to host a panel. And then Apple, that show is on Apple. And Apple sent a little basket of apples and some juices.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, how literal.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I went, I know. Of course, I was ripping through The. The bag. Looking for a computer or a watch or something. Apples and juices, but they're very good.

[Flula Borg]

Delicious.

[Conan O'Brien]

Trust me, I do not need any free items.

[Flula Borg]

You have enough free items?

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I don't.

[Sona Movsesian]

We can take them, they can give them to you, and then you can give them to other people.

[Conan O'Brien]

Eduardo has made it clear that he doesn't want anything for free and he doesn't want any of you to get anything for free. And I admire that about you, Eduardo.

[Matt Gourley]

Not true.

[Flula Borg]

You don't want an order of AirPods Pro?

[Conan O'Brien]

No, he said. No, nothing.

[Matt Gourley]

We all do.

[Conan O'Brien]

I was gifted Recently, a vintage 1958 Porsche, completely restored, and Eduardo made me give it back. He said, it's not. It's not a good look for the company. I said, well, do you want it? And he said, not only do I not want it, no one should have it.

[Flula Borg]

Well, who gave it to you? The United Arab Emirates?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, the Emirates. Oh, okay. I've done some favors for the Emirates.

[Flula Borg]

I have seen it.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I've done.

[Flula Borg]

Why are you still on MySpace?

[Conan O'Brien]

It worked out for me. Let's just put it.

[Flula Borg]

I agree. Yes, yes. Now let's put me in your top six. Just so you know, for future reference.

[Conan O'Brien]

Let'S get back to you, because you're the one that people care about. Tell me about the child, Flula. How did you become this improbable, ridiculous man? What were your interests? What did you love to do? Did you run through the fields? Did you have friends? Tell me about yourself.

[Flula Borg]

Yes and no. So I did enjoy the fields of running. I had very little friends and very little siblings. By that I mean zero. I didn't kill or eat them. They simply didn't come out of my mother's hole.

[Matt Gourley]

Fisher.

[Flula Borg]

Sorry.

[Conan O'Brien]

He said, fisher.

[Flula Borg]

Fisher.

[Conan O'Brien]

Thank you. Thank you. Matthias.

[Flula Borg]

Her.

[Conan O'Brien]

Fisher.

[Matt Gourley]

Matthias.

[Flula Borg]

So there was only.

[Conan O'Brien]

Actually, my apologies.

[Flula Borg]

Zero things came from her fish. Fisher.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, no. You came.

[Flula Borg]

Well, I was a salad. Waited. Came out.

[Conan O'Brien]

You. You came out.

[Flula Borg]

I came out as a salad.

[Conan O'Brien]

So you were the entree. No, you were the appetizer.

[Flula Borg]

I was all three of those. I was like in and out this, watching. Goes to get a burger. Bye, bye, you know.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. So this was your crazy, horrific way of saying no siblings. You were an only child.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

So you were born. And they said, there'll be no more of this.

[Flula Borg]

Well, something in German. And I couldn't intelligible because I was very young.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're very young.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

When you're a baby in Germany, do you cry angrily? Do you go, wah, wah?

[Flula Borg]

Yes. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I'm just curious. Wah. Wah.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, it starts that way. Yeah. We have to adjust. It's like a modulation. Sometimes it's screaming. You have to get to whispers.

[Conan O'Brien]

Cool. Cool.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. And it isn't the other direction. You're correct. You guys, I believe Goo Goo Gaga.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Flula Borg]

We Gaga Goo Goo.

[Conan O'Brien]

Very good. And people say cultures can't come together. They can't understand each other. But they can.

[Flula Borg]

They can sexually.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Flula Borg]

Just cut that, Eduardo.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, no, we're not. Eduardo stopped listening a long time ago.

[Flula Borg]

He's left the room.

[Conan O'Brien]

What did you do for fun? What did young Flula do for fun? We understand that you ran through the fields and that you were alone. We know why. But what were you doing for fun? Did you like music? What did you watch on television? What influenced young Flula?

[Flula Borg]

Well, to say this implies there has been an evolution. Things have not changed since I was young Flula. I listened to C and C Music Factory. Things that make you go, hmm. Do you know that song? I was at the club, sitting by the fireplace, drinking cocoa on the bearskin rug.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's CNC Music Factory.

[Flula Borg]

This would be. Yes. A colon Civilis. C and C. Okay. Gonna make it. Yeah. Is it dope enough? Indeed. I paid the price to control the dice. I'm more precise. To the point. I'm nice. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Incredible. I mean, this is fantastic. And you, Matthias?

[Matt Gourley]

I lived a life. I'm a grown man. I've lived a life.

[Flula Borg]

Well, you have lived a life. A deep life. Did you grow up also in Erlange German? Yes.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, yeah. Oh, my.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I feel like I'm an Inglourious Basterds and I'm just trying to hope no one notices me.

[Flula Borg]

I'll have.

[Conan O'Brien]

Thumb. That's what got him in trouble.

[Flula Borg]

That's how you do it. Yes. And this is also. I have nailed a tray. Jason Tatum, your favorite player. Yes, yes, yes. From Dublin.

[Conan O'Brien]

From the Celtics.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

He is an Irishman. A good Irishman.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Mr. Tatum, originally. Mr. Tater.

[Sona Movsesian]

I gotta go.

[Conan O'Brien]

When the world feels stuck in serious mode, Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles burst in to unleash pure, childlike, creative energy. One, one awesome bowl at a time. And a shout out to my brother Neil, who is nutso for Fruity Pebbles and Cocoa Pebbles. Many a time, when Neil and I get together, even now in our advanced age, first thing we do is have some Fruity Pebbles or Cocoa Pebbles. Neil, I'm thinking about you. Eating Pebbles is a full sensory experience. Delicious taste, mouthwatering aroma, vibrant colors. And crispy flakes in every heaping spoon. It's amazing. The texture is so great. Those little flakes. Fruity pebbles are tangy and intensely fruity. Cocoa pebbles are rich and chocolatey, just like they should be. Cause it's cocoa. Like an instant treat. Pebble cereals are loved by kids and adults alike. The magic spans generations. When was the last time you could say that about any product?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

They turn every bowl into pure milk. Magic. Fruity or chocolatey.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's my favorite part.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Make your breakfast less blah, more yabba dabba doo. Head to your nearest grocery store to buy a box of delicious pebble cereal now. Don't do it tomorrow. Don't do it yesterday. Do it now. Yabba dabadoo and the Flintstones and all related characters and elements copyright and trademark Hanna Barbera this Back to School season. Spend less on your kids with Amazon. Okay. I remember back in the day when my kids were going off to school. You're going through it now, Sona.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, but they're really young people need stuff.

[Conan O'Brien]

You gotta get the backpacks, you gotta get the crayons and the.

[Sona Movsesian]

The lunchbox.

[Conan O'Brien]

Eh, we didn't let them have lunch. Raise them up to be hungry. No, we all love our kids. We really do. But they have a magical talent for making our wallets weep. Especially when school season hits. Thankfully, Amazon's got everything you need for back to school. Big selection, all at low prices. Lunch boxes, school snacks, backpacks, water bottles, uniforms, apparel, noise canceling headphones. I never got to take those to school.

[Sona Movsesian]

Me neither.

[Conan O'Brien]

They would have helped me with Ms. Smith. More on that later. Whether your kids growing two inches a week, diving into new after school activity every month, or losing supplies faster, you can label them. Amazon makes it easy to restock and stay ready all in one place and without breaking the bank. With low prices and fast delivery, you'll save time, money and maybe even a little sanity this school year. Remember, with Amazon's low back to school prices, you spend less on your kids. Cause every dollar you don't spend on them is a dollar you haven't spent on them. I never thought of it that way. Wow. Shop back to school at Amazon and spend less on your kids. As a T Mobile member, you can take the perks with you. You because you're traveling with Magenta status.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's cool.

[Conan O'Brien]

I love saying it.

[Sona Movsesian]

I know I could tell.

[Conan O'Brien]

Ask me my status.

[Sona Movsesian]

Hey Conan, what's your status?

[Conan O'Brien]

Magenta status. It starts the moment you take off with free inflight WI Fi. So you can stream your favorite show on the go. Plus you're covered with 15 gigabytes of high speed data in over 215 countries and destinations with experience beyond plan.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's cool, man.

[Conan O'Brien]

This magenta status sounds amazing. Blay, tell me. I think you get magenta status. What's it entail? What's included in magenta status? Yeah, I have T Mobile. I have had T Mobile for a long time. I love it. And you know, when we went to Thailand, I got great coverage and great high speed data, which means that I could. I hear it's up to 15 gigabytes. That's right. How did you know? That's the word on the street. Wow. I hear people going 15 gigabytes.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's incredible. Yeah, but it was great.

[Matt Gourley]

I was connected and it really helped.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, this sounds great. Great. Find out how you can experience travel better@t mobile.com TravelToday qualifying plan required Wi Fi where available on select US airlines. Terms and conditions apply. Listen, we're gonna talk about you some more. So you can hang out in the clubs. You like CNC Music Factory? And still do to this day, of course. Did you like the song It's Raining Men?

[Flula Borg]

Hallelujah. It's raining men. I mean, it's an acceptable song.

[Conan O'Brien]

I always listen to that song and thought, men are falling to their deaths. Right. You know what I mean? Crap. They all die and they land on the happy women who are excited that men are falling. Shattered vertebrae.

[Flula Borg]

It's all a Verylma Louise song. Because at the end they will be also crushed by the weight of these men. Assuming these men are of normal height, weight and mass.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, yes. And they've reached critical speed.

[Flula Borg]

Terminal velocity. Literally terminal velocity.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, Literally terminal.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

This is. You know, it's funny, if you listen to this. Not this, but if you listen slowly, you'll occasionally hear something intelligent. It's like every now and then it's this stew that's just got nothing. But every now and then there's just.

[Flula Borg]

A little piece of beef in the song. It's raining men. Hallelujah.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, no. In this conversation we're having.

[Flula Borg]

So I should listen to the song slowly using those big Bose headphones.

[Sona Movsesian]

No one's ever analyzed that song, ever.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, when it first came out, I said, this is terrible. And it scared me. It's raining men. And I pictured men falling from the.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And falling on top of those women and killing them. Because let's say the average man weighs, I don't know, 185195 pounds.

[Flula Borg]

A lot of pounds.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's a lot of pounds.

[Flula Borg]

I once thought about the song I'm your penis. I'm your fire, your desire.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, no, no, it's not on your Venus.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's your Venus. It's not.

[Flula Borg]

It's in Germany. It's penis. Oh, it's your Venus here.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

Why would a girl be singing I'm your penis?

[Flula Borg]

How do you know it's a girl? I didn't see the video.

[Conan O'Brien]

Can I tell you something?

[Flula Borg]

That I was always Todd Thompson, which.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is a real misunderstanding. I have. Oh, God.

[Flula Borg]

What's wrong, Conan?

[Conan O'Brien]

I'll be fine.

[Flula Borg]

Do you need an et cetera?

[Conan O'Brien]

You know that song, hey there, amigo Days when the rain. You know.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, Brown eyed girl.

[Conan O'Brien]

Brown Eyed girl. Van Morrison by Van Morrison.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

I honestly thought. There's a line in it. No, there's a line where he says, going down in the old mine for a transistor radio. With a transistor radio, meaning he down into one of the mines and listens to a transistor radio. I swear to God, for years I thought he was saying, going down on an old man for a transistor radio. And I thought, how bad do you want that? Better be a great radio.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, that's a fair exchange, depending on the radio.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I mean, this has to be AM FM at least.

[Flula Borg]

@ least have both.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. And it has to have good speaker system and.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. And the man's ding ding dong is hopefully small.

[Conan O'Brien]

Why?

[Flula Borg]

What are we talking about?

[Conan O'Brien]

Once you're there, it doesn't. Does it really matter? Does it really matter what size to ding dong is?

[Matt Gourley]

Also, if you're down in a mine, you can't get reception on a transistor radio.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, that's a good point.

[Matt Gourley]

This is a bum deal.

[Conan O'Brien]

Point is, why did I think. Think that a guy was blowing an old man so he could borrow his.

[Flula Borg]

Transistor radio and he's receiving the fellatio in a mine?

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I think it's either man or mine, so it can't be both. He didn't go down into a mine to blow a guy. He blew a guy to get a radio.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, you know, location is independent.

[Conan O'Brien]

This can't air.

[Sona Movsesian]

Maybe he went down on a mime.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, a mime.

[Conan O'Brien]

He went down on a mime and the mime's just making faces and just pointing down. Oh, and the mime is walking against the wind in place while he's being blown.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then he's in a box. But then he comes and he's living in a box. He orgasms and he opens the top.

[Flula Borg]

Of the oven in a cardboard box.

[Conan O'Brien]

I hate you.

[Matt Gourley]

You still hitting delete over there?

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm not a fan of yours anymore.

[Flula Borg]

Agreed. Conan.

[Conan O'Brien]

I have reason why I'm not a fan.

[Flula Borg]

Please tell me the reasons.

[Conan O'Brien]

This was a great podcast. This was my chance to have someone from another nation come on from across the sea and have a cultural exchange. And it's become. And I blame you because on any ordinary day, this is a very, very, you know, I think, well, Regal. Regal podcast. Yes, thank you. That was the word I was searching for.

[Flula Borg]

Of course.

[Conan O'Brien]

Regal.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

You. I have a question for you.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, it does? Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

One of your dreams, I know, is to be in a James Bond movie as a villain. Or do you think you could be James Bond? And this Matthias coincides with his. He loves James Bond movies. And I've been thinking about it. You're in great shape.

[Flula Borg]

Thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're good looking. You're the correct age. Right. Why can't James Bond be German?

[Flula Borg]

Can he be? Huh?

[Conan O'Brien]

Can he be German?

[Matt Gourley]

Well, I mean, you're putting this on me. Yeah, sure.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

Do you want to be James Bond or do you want to be a villain? You'd be a good henchman, too.

[Flula Borg]

I like any of those. I like henches. I would do any of those things.

[Matt Gourley]

I think he'd be an amazing.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think it's going to be a problem to say His Majesty's Secret Service.

[Flula Borg]

His Majesty's Secret Service. Hello to you.

[Conan O'Brien]

But listen to you.

[Flula Borg]

It's me, 007. Watch out.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what? This audition's going very well. Please come in, 007. We have an assignment for you.

[Flula Borg]

Thank you for inviting me in. Penny money.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. We know that you are, of course, a proud son of England and that you would do anything for the Queen.

[Flula Borg]

I will do all of the things for the Queen. And also to be clear to the Queen.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay? Oh, okay. Listen, Bond, do come along.

[Flula Borg]

Absolutely.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now, I mean, he. It's a little bit of a problem that he's from Germany.

[Matt Gourley]

Let's try him out as a villain. Okay, so you're Bond. You guys are having your big, like, monologuing moment.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, So I have stumbled. You captured me. Yeah, you're captured. You're holding me captive in your. It's a volcano that you carved out. And you're showing me how you're going to destroy the world. Hello. Dr. Flula.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Dr. Flula, I presume.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. Hello to you, James, and welcome to my cough. Is that your James Bond?

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know. I've got to. Listen, I was a. Connor. You. I was trying to do a sort of a. You know. Well, I'm trying to figure out what my bond is. Hold on a second.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Let me get it. Let me get it. I think he's. Hold on. He's like this.

[Flula Borg]

He talks like.

[Conan O'Brien]

He's not very intimidating. Well, no, what is this? Your bond is collecting butterflies?

[Sona Movsesian]

No, your bond, just to match who you are.

[Flula Borg]

He's like this.

[Sona Movsesian]

He talks like this.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, that's not my bond kind of.

[Matt Gourley]

Bond like this or you're like.

[Conan O'Brien]

Like I'm Roger Moore. Oh, well. Is that Roger? That's Roger Moore towards the end.

[Sona Movsesian]

Hello, I'm James Bond.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hello, I'm James Bond. We'll try it this way.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Dr. Flula, you seem to have captured me in your volcano. What is your plan?

[Flula Borg]

Yes, Timothy Dalton, thank you for coming to my volcano that I have emptied out using a tiny shovel for 200 years.

[Conan O'Brien]

I did notice there are no henchmen. Usually people have henchmen, but I suppose you.

[Matt Gourley]

I'm sorry, but you're like a prospect.

[Conan O'Brien]

So bad. Hold on a second. Better than yours. I'm just wondering.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, James?

[Conan O'Brien]

Is your gold in this here hill?

[Flula Borg]

Maybe. James, no. Let me ask you something.

[Conan O'Brien]

Just a little bit of a question for you, Mr. Dr. Flula, if you will. Yes. What are your intentions? How do you plan to take over the world?

[Flula Borg]

It's very simple really, Timothy. I plan to just take all of the television shows, turn them into one big show, and then just blare it out into the spry.

[Conan O'Brien]

I can see you, fiend.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

This will destroy the world. How does we know it?

[Flula Borg]

It's called Max, which is the same place Coleman must know is airing season two streaming now.

[Conan O'Brien]

Nicely done.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think that audition went quite well. You're hired.

[Matt Gourley]

You're both hired.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, great.

[Matt Gourley]

Amazon called and they've got their new bond.

[Conan O'Brien]

Let me tell you something. My bond is fascinating because you never know what you're going to get next. You can't hone in on, is he Australian Yosemite Sam? Is he Yoseri Sam? Is he. Is. Is his jaw broken?

[Flula Borg]

Right.

[Conan O'Brien]

You don't know exactly what's going on with my Bond.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, yes. Shapeshifter.

[Conan O'Brien]

James Bond. James Bond.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. You're like, what's a rogue Cyclopsk? What's the one lady from X Men who could be anything, but when she was relaxed, looked like Mystique. Yes. You're like Mystique.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, all right. God, you know, you are so well versed in your movies and your pop culture and you love a video game, don't you?

[Flula Borg]

Oh, I do love a video game.

[Conan O'Brien]

You like Grand Theft Auto?

[Flula Borg]

I like a gta. A medium amount to large amount, depending on the amount.

[Conan O'Brien]

You call it Grand Theft Auto.

[Flula Borg]

I call. Yes. I go a grand th Automobile. I think you should say things. Full names.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do they have a German edition of Grand Theft Auto where you're on the Autobahn?

[Flula Borg]

You're not because it's too fast. We have a GTA Dusseldorf which involves not exceeding 35 kilometers per hour.

[Conan O'Brien]

And everything is kept very clean, of course, and no one breaks any rules.

[Flula Borg]

You are immediately arrested.

[Conan O'Brien]

Came over. So you're saying GTA Dussel door. It doesn't go very far, right?

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

If you're questioned very quickly.

[Flula Borg]

That's correct. If you break the laws in GTA Dusseldorf, two weeks later, you will receive a fine in the mail directly from the PlayStation that you played with.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, wow, that's terrible.

[Flula Borg]

Sorry, but how was your drink?

[Conan O'Brien]

It's very good. Please, let's not make it about me. Let's make it about you. Okay, I am curious. What's your favorite of the video games?

[Flula Borg]

Of all the video games in the world, I enjoyed to play a Zack so which is a very old school game with two Xs, involves a fake 3D and a spaceship that goes up and down.

[Conan O'Brien]

What happens on Zaxxon, I don't remember.

[Matt Gourley]

You're kind of like Space Invader style, right? Where you just fake.

[Conan O'Brien]

So you're shooting up. This is 1980s technology.

[Flula Borg]

I've told you, I have not evolved since I have been Waiflula, which is short for young people.

[Conan O'Brien]

So in 1985 someone hit you with a brick and you have not evolved since then?

[Flula Borg]

I do not know about the brick. Something definitely hit my cranium. Okay, okay, Conan, what's your favorite video game? Tell me immediately.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, I will tell you. My favorite video game, I have to say. It's Those World War II, you know, war games. Call of Duty. I like those. I like anything where Or I like the World War I. Call of Duty. That might be my favorite because there's a lot of biplanes and zeppelins flying around. I just like something that has a little bit of a historic connotation.

[Sona Movsesian]

I'm shocked you answered that question.

[Conan O'Brien]

Also, I like Slenderman. I know that's a really old reference, but I think it was based on me and I think I'm the Original concept behind Slenderman.

[Matt Gourley]

That's a video game.

[Flula Borg]

I thought it was a film.

[Matt Gourley]

I thought it was just an urban legend that then became a film.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think it was a video game. Wasn't there a video game? Slenderman.

[Flula Borg]

And you're saying Slender Animals.

[Conan O'Brien]

Why is this thing.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's Slenderman.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, the several Slender of the Connecticut Slendermans.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, he's the one that got me into the club.

[Matt Gourley]

The Slenderman computer game, according to this.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, okay. Well, forget I said.

[Matt Gourley]

There it goes. No, you got it.

[Flula Borg]

That was wonderful.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's a computer. Yes. Okay, well, listen, I want to stay focused, okay? You like to play Zaxxon. You listen to cnc, Music Factory. You think that Reagan is just beginning his second term?

[Flula Borg]

It's just now started. Yes. It's 1985.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right. There's some signs that maybe he's slipping a little bit, but everyone's going, what are you talking about?

[Flula Borg]

It's like, listen, tear down that wall.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

That's all he says.

[Conan O'Brien]

Were you okay with that when he said tear down?

[Flula Borg]

Well, I would prefer to remove it gently. Brick by brick.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I think that's better.

[Flula Borg]

Just for safety reasons.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, exactly.

[Flula Borg]

The energy I supported, to be clear. Did you not support that?

[Matt Gourley]

This?

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, no, I did. I was very happy. I thought Germany should be united east and west and so. And like the Koreas.

[Flula Borg]

Great.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I would like it if they would resolve the Korean issue. It's as well.

[Flula Borg]

Great. Enough global talk.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I mean, look, it's getting a little serious here, but if you're going to ask me questions that are serious, I'll answer them. Yes, I do wish that. That the division between north and South Korea ended and it was one country.

[Flula Borg]

What about the Carolina?

[Conan O'Brien]

U.S. i think. No, no, that's impossible. That's impossible. The division between north and South Carolina.

[Matt Gourley]

If anything, there's going to be a third Carolina.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, and someone else.

[Conan O'Brien]

And don't get me started on the Virginians. The Virginias. Virginias? Yeah. West is proper. Hey, don't say that. West is the only Virginia as far as I'm concerned.

[Flula Borg]

Really? Snap. What?

[Sona Movsesian]

Shots fired.

[Matt Gourley]

You got the power.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't know Snap.

[Flula Borg]

That's the sound of a fire truck.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. You are a fan of coin collecting. I'm going to switch topics quickly because that's what you have to do with Flula to keep it going.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. Buffalo Head nickels.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now, when did this be?

[Flula Borg]

Wheat pennies.

[Conan O'Brien]

What?

[Flula Borg]

Wheat pennies.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, pennies that have the little shafts of wheat on them shafts, huh? Sprigs.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Why do you derail everything I say? There are pennies that have little pieces of wheat on them. I just said shafts of wheat, and you derailed the whole thing.

[Flula Borg]

Wait, sorry, but a shaft to me is a very different item than a piece of wheat. But yes, a wheat is pennies.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, okay, I guess I'm the one in the wrong here.

[Sona Movsesian]

I've never heard shaft of Penny, but I think we all think of dicks when you say shaft.

[Flula Borg]

I was thinking of a penis. Yes, a ding dong.

[Sona Movsesian]

Sorry, A ding dong. Sorry, it's. You said shaft, so we all didn't know you were talking about wheat. We thought you were talking about.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, Conan, if someone says there needs. The elevator's not available today because we're working on the shaft, you immediately think penis.

[Flula Borg]

Wait, but does this.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's what you mean? You have to work on the penis to fix the elevator.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm gonna try to make this better. You collect these coins. What else do you. Besides the buffalo head and the wheat pennies, what else do you collect? What's your most valuable coin that you have in your collection? Flula? Answer quickly.

[Flula Borg]

I have none of value, but I did once have a bicentennial quarter which was made in 1976 to celebrate your bicentennial, which is 200 years of being America.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, yes. It was quite a long time ago now, of course, but I would think that that would be a very common. It wasn't that long ago.

[Flula Borg]

No. It's also. It's worth 26. Conan, are you a collector of items?

[Conan O'Brien]

I really am not. You could say I have a guitar collection.

[Flula Borg]

Oh. And. But I shouldn't.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, you'll be punished if you do. Oh, I have a lot of guitars. I didn't seek them out. I sought a few of them out, but mostly over the years of musical people coming on my show and seeing at rehearsal that I played guitar or was trying to get better at guitar, they would gift me a guitar. And over the years, I've amassed a bunch. And at some point I want to. Some of them are quite strange, and I want to share them with the world at some point and tell the story behind some of them. Some of them would be. Are incredible. And then some of them are quite absurd and ridiculous. A guitar I got, I believe, maybe from Sweden, which is made with a bathroom scale, is the base of the guitar, and there's a neck coming out of it, and it's a functioning bathroom scale. Nasty of them are in the look like my face. I don't see the value of that and delicious face. But also some. Some really good, great guitars.

[Flula Borg]

I smell a new podcast conag.

[Conan O'Brien]

Conan o' Brien needs a guitar.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, it's not a guitar. Where I'm nagged and hectored by.

[Flula Borg]

No.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Flula Borg]

No, it'd be very supportive where every time you receive a new diddly doot guitar. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's not called the diddly do.

[Flula Borg]

Well, it's shorter to say diddly doot. Everyone knows.

[Conan O'Brien]

So I think guitar is faster.

[Flula Borg]

Everyone knows what I'm saying when I say diddly doot. It's not a clarinet.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Flula Borg]

It's not a tune.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Flula Borg]

It's a guitar.

[Conan O'Brien]

What do you guys call a tuba?

[Flula Borg]

Natuba.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Flula Borg]

What do you call a tuba?

[Conan O'Brien]

We call it the Tiben.

[Flula Borg]

A tiban.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Oh.

[Conan O'Brien]

Listen, you are. I don't know. I can't get a bead on you. It's like trying to push down on a moist seed.

[Matt Gourley]

It just puts it all on him. I think in a little of this, because.

[Conan O'Brien]

Excuse me, I am not.

[Sona Movsesian]

You said shaft of wheat.

[Flula Borg]

You did.

[Sona Movsesian]

So you knew where that went. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I didn't. You think everything I say. If I said, like, oh, look, there's a red balloon. You're like, oh, here he goes with his dicks again. I mean, not everything is a penis.

[Flula Borg]

I thought that meant diaphragm, but yes, it's fine.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm going to ask you something. You keep a diary, I'm told. And I'm somewhere with this.

[Flula Borg]

How do you know about this?

[Conan O'Brien]

Because I borrowed it last night while you were sleeping.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, so that was your entry?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, that was my entry.

[Flula Borg]

What's your obsession with termites?

[Conan O'Brien]

I came into your apartment and. No, you keep a diary. You're a loyal keeper of a diary, but you don't call it a diary.

[Flula Borg]

You call it a Dankberheits journal.

[Conan O'Brien]

What's that?

[Flula Borg]

A Dankbeheitz journal. I thought it was a Trogebuchebuc. Is a dybg. Yes. You can call it a day book.

[Conan O'Brien]

Why did you call it something else? I did. Researching here. I had people watching you for a while.

[Flula Borg]

Thank you. I know I left my door unlocked.

[Conan O'Brien]

You keep a diary? Or as you call it, a togebuch Tage. Why do you. Why do you keep a diary? Are you journaling in this diary? What are you writing in your diary?

[Flula Borg]

Every day there are three things that are wrong and three things that are right, and I have to write about those things. And then I do it. Then I fix the things that are wrong. Or perhaps leave them be and cry about them and move on.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Flula Borg]

Do you not have a targetable code?

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't write down the things that are right and the things that are wrong. I don't understand that part. I mean, I have to do lists like, oh, I should do this, I should do that. Sometimes I write down my feelings. Another podcast with Matt and Sona. Boy, they really get in the way. And they stop me from being my true self.

[Flula Borg]

But that's correct. Yes. Yes. They are holding you down.

[Conan O'Brien]

Think of the heights I could scale if it weren't for these monsters.

[Matt Gourley]

Some things in my tuck.

[Conan O'Brien]

A book. Yeah. You know Eduardo, you know, what's he up to? Over.

[Flula Borg]

Nobody knows.

[Conan O'Brien]

Fiddling with his dials.

[Flula Borg]

What are those for a chef?

[Matt Gourley]

Yes, chef.

[Conan O'Brien]

See? You know Eduardo. You're better than that. Everyone looks up to you on this podcast, and now you've done it. Your favorite superhero.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is Spider Man.

[Flula Borg]

How did you know this?

[Conan O'Brien]

Because I looked in your diary, and it says, flula loves Spider Man.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Or Flula spider man. Or Mrs. Flula Spider Man. You just dream about Spider man all day long. Why do you like Spider man the best of all the heroes?

[Flula Borg]

I like that he has limited countless webs. Because if he's super hungry, he can also just go. You can eat the webs if you're a spider. Absolutely.

[Conan O'Brien]

I guess it's fiber. I never thought of that. Maybe the webs are like a hardened cheese.

[Flula Borg]

Of course. It's like a br. It's a monster.

[Conan O'Brien]

A munster. Is that the right way to say it?

[Flula Borg]

I. I say munster. Yes. What do you say?

[Conan O'Brien]

I now I say munster. I say monster if I see the umlaut.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. Or a U. E is also like an umlaut.

[Conan O'Brien]

You guys. What? You have a great language. You have an umlaut, and I love the umlaut. And I wish we had an umlaut in this country. I'd like to. I bet you carry an umlaut with you wherever you go.

[Flula Borg]

Two periods. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And. But it changes munster to munster. It's fantastic. Do you like an umlaut? Sure.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Matt Gourley]

I love an umlaut.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. My favorite's the Denver umlaut. You know what? Let me tell you something. I'll tell you why I'm funny, and then I'll tell you how I'm funny. Adam doesn't even know what's happening.

[Sona Movsesian]

We're bringing you down, Adam, for a umlaut. You owe everybody an apology.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what? So funny. Adam is always Usually very supportive. He's supportive 98% of the time. Today whenever I speak, he looks like he's having gas pain under his sternum.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, I assumed. He's deathly ill. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you're not the problem, apparently. Apparently?

[Flula Borg]

Oh, no, I am the problem.

[Conan O'Brien]

You think so? Yes, I think you allow my stupidity. It's your fault.

[Flula Borg]

I welcome it and love it and hug it and spoon it.

[Conan O'Brien]

All right then.

[Flula Borg]

It's my favorite thing.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't want to get too personal, but how's your love life?

[Flula Borg]

Listen, I am a. I'm dating. Currently. A techno whole note.

[Matt Gourley]

That's right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, what?

[Flula Borg]

It's four beats of delicious techno at 102bpm. Consistent, reliable. I can pause it, mute it, turn it up. It's delicious.

[Conan O'Brien]

So can I hear what it sounds like for a second? That is what you're dating?

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Does it have a name? Mm. Okay. Fool. Yeah. Yeah. I've always wanted.

[Flula Borg]

Say it.

[Conan O'Brien]

I've always wanted you to be in a relationship. I know you. You're. You're a good looking Germanic fellow. You're in the clubs.

[Flula Borg]

In the clubs. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

You've got incredible, you know, abs. Oh, you're probably dating a different BPM every night.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, yes. I will switch it up quickly. Thanks, Spotify.

[Sona Movsesian]

Do you want date him?

[Conan O'Brien]

Very much. Okay.

[Sona Movsesian]

Just going on and on about him. It just sounds like he said dreamboat.

[Flula Borg]

Are you in an open relationship, Conan?

[Conan O'Brien]

My wife would like me to be.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, she's insistent.

[Conan O'Brien]

My wife has suggested several times, actually several times a week that maybe I'd like to explore other possibilities.

[Flula Borg]

Conan, let's go visit a proverbial coffee bean and tea leaf together.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, I would do that anytime.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, I mean proverbial, though.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, so you're talking about something else.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, you know, your tea bean. My leaf.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know what to do with you.

[Flula Borg]

Same.

[Conan O'Brien]

Listen, you know, I. You know what, that's funny. They give me pages of what they think I'm gonna talk to Flula about. Yes, but none of it. What good is this? You can't have notes when you talk to Flula boy.

[Flula Borg]

Don't do it.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, don't do it. Don't do it on drugs in the 70s and 80s. Just don't do it.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. Put that frying pan away. And also that egg that you cracked open on it.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's your mind on drugs. No one knows what we're talking about.

[Flula Borg]

They don't know it.

[Conan O'Brien]

No. It's been too long.

[Flula Borg]

It has been too long.

[Conan O'Brien]

You do you like your life. You're a happy fellow.

[Flula Borg]

I'm a happy man. Are you a happy man, Kona? I'm concerned.

[Conan O'Brien]

God, he's so good at turning it back on me all the time. Yes, I'm a very happy person. Oh, you're reflecting back on me with your shiny gluten pouch.

[Flula Borg]

My. My gluten pouch?

[Conan O'Brien]

My. Yeah, I am a happy man.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

I believe I am.

[Flula Borg]

You've had some recent very exciting news. I don't know when this is airing. They were recent to me.

[Conan O'Brien]

This won't air. You'll never hear this. Oh, great. I will bury this. This will be put into. Deep into a salt mine in Utah.

[Flula Borg]

But you recently.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, where?

[Flula Borg]

Provo.

[Conan O'Brien]

Don't you ever look at me and say provo.

[Flula Borg]

I'm so sorry. I cannot.

[Conan O'Brien]

The one thing I will not have is someone yelling Provo at me in a German accent.

[Flula Borg]

It's your safe word.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. I've had. I've had a good year. I've had a good run.

[Flula Borg]

You wrote one Marcus Twine. You won an award, mate.

[Conan O'Brien]

Mark Twain. He's a famous. He's a famous American anar. No, he's not an anarchist.

[Flula Borg]

Oh.

[Conan O'Brien]

He was an American humorist. And it's a very nice thing that happened. I was honored by my fellow members of the comedian community.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, wonderful. The cc. So it's not a man that invented twine like Alfred Nobel invented dynamite?

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no. And using your logic, Alfred Nobel would have invented Nobel. So you're an idiot. Oh.

[Flula Borg]

Which is a book that is much shorter. It's half of a novel.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Why speak to you? I guess is the question. Or why even continue. You. Yes, you brought up. I've had some good fortune lately, but no one wants to hear about me. They want to hear because they want to hear about Flula Borg, a man who grew up in. Where's it called?

[Flula Borg]

Heilangen?

[Conan O'Brien]

Erlangen.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, no, I like your guess. What was your guess?

[Conan O'Brien]

Grebenhagen.

[Flula Borg]

Greben Haydn.

[Conan O'Brien]

You grew up in a small village, Greben Haydn, where not only are the shoes wooden, but all the clothes are wooden.

[Flula Borg]

And all the Haydns are Greben.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, Greben and Schluten. And you decided one day you would leave your father's cuckoo clock factory.

[Flula Borg]

I said, bye bye to you birds rotating in the sk.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you said, I will come to America and find my future.

[Flula Borg]

Those are my exact words.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. And then you said, I hope I have enough. And you lurched into your pockets and you had some rare coins Some. Some wheat coins.

[Flula Borg]

Some wheat. Kind of full of shafts.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. Reach down into that deep pocket of yours.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, it's just so deep.

[Conan O'Brien]

Shafts of wheat. And then you also. There was probably a. A hazelnut in there. A little treat for the.

[Flula Borg]

Of course.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then you. You took a boat, I believe, to come to this country.

[Flula Borg]

I took. There were several planes available, but I selected a boat.

[Conan O'Brien]

A boat.

[Flula Borg]

A boat.

[Conan O'Brien]

A boat.

[Flula Borg]

And then I accidentally won a hype man contest. And then that was my decision to come here and do a professional thing called whatever this is.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. You, I would imagine, be a great hype man, don't you think? He'd be the best. Can I hear some of your hype man that you do in the clubs?

[Flula Borg]

Hey, everyone, it's me, Flula Borg. Welcome to your concert. If you're excited, raise one or both of your hands if you have two. If you only have one, then raise one if you have. No. Oops.

[Conan O'Brien]

You shouldn't have worked in that factory.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, you were my hype man because I did a tour a couple years ago, a bunch of very funny comedians and you.

[Flula Borg]

And me. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, no. You were hilarious. But you would also be a bit of a hype man for me.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. I was very supportive of your journey as a stand up comic, comedian man.

[Conan O'Brien]

And also you would do the crowd work. You would go into the crowd with a microphone so that people could ask me questions.

[Flula Borg]

I did, I did.

[Conan O'Brien]

And my favorite thing is whenever you tripped or had trouble making your way through the crowd, you go, scheitzer, Scheitzer, Scheitzer. Which is shit. But it always cracked me up.

[Flula Borg]

Accurate. It happened all the time. Yes, I'm very uncoordinated.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. That means you have no accordion.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, exactly. Accordion free since 83.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. I don't know. This is either a very good episode.

[Flula Borg]

No, it's the worst episode. I now play trombone. Conan. Trombone, trombone. I've released a children's album.

[Conan O'Brien]

You have?

[Flula Borg]

Yeah, it's called, you know.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I don't know. I don't know what it's called.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, it's slippery when peeled.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. You should be detained by authorities.

[Flula Borg]

I look forward to it.

[Conan O'Brien]

When was the last time someone looked at your papers and decided whether you should stay or not? Because that's, you know, that's a thing. That's a real thing that's happening now. And I think we should look at your papers.

[Flula Borg]

Well, thank God I have just a passport, which is just a book, so the papers I don't bring out with me. Anymore. Also, I'm going to make a stand up comedy special, Conan.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, when's that coming out?

[Flula Borg]

I don't know.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're very good at plugging things, aren't you? When's your special coming out? I don't.

[Flula Borg]

In the future, Conan, I will tell you all about it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, well, you'll be back.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, okay, great. Does that red light we can stop mean no?

[Conan O'Brien]

That means. That means we've reached the 1/3 point.

[Flula Borg]

We still have two thirds of that. So we have two sections equal in size to the last section.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Flula Borg]

We watched hockey game.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, exactly. Now we have to do. If that was 40 minutes, we have to now do 80 minutes of inventing German words like auven gleidder.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. So auvengle is a very interesting thing. It's what you use to hang certain sized jeans.

[Matt Gourley]

Really?

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, you told me that I take stabs at German words and that occasionally it's a real word or almost a real word.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah. Augenglidau is what kind of what you said, which is like an eye smoke.

[Conan O'Brien]

Smoothie made of eyes.

[Flula Borg]

I don't know. You said it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, Flula, what's next for you? What are you working on now? Because I know you have, you know, a fan base. People want to see what you're doing. What's coming up for Flula Borg? Are you going to be in a movie? A television show? Are you doing a show anywhere? How can I get the word out about Flula Borg?

[Flula Borg]

Thank you for this very long question, which included several guesses. Conan, I will be in a movie called Champagne Problems on Netflix. It is a Christmas.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, that's great. Champagne Problems. Who are you in that with?

[Flula Borg]

I'm also in it with Minka Kelly.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, I love Minka Kelly.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. And others.

[Conan O'Brien]

Ooh, you're gonna get an angry message from. And others from who?

[Flula Borg]

We don't know.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. And looking forward to that. You enjoy the acting?

[Flula Borg]

I enjoy to act very much, Conan. It's a nice way to escape into something and say, bye bye and then come out and say hello. Have you seen Shawshank Redemption?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, I have.

[Flula Borg]

Have? It's a wonderful film.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now you're promoting Shawshank Redemption.

[Flula Borg]

Have you seen it?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, I have. Oh, many times.

[Flula Borg]

Tihuatanejo.

[Conan O'Brien]

Zihuatanejo.

[Flula Borg]

Ziahuatanejo.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. In Mexico.

[Flula Borg]

I support Morgan Freeman as an actor. I think he's very talented.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, you know, it's been debated whether he should be allowed to act, and your support will be a key vote. Vote. Vote.

[Flula Borg]

Vote yes. Vote yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

If I could stop you, Flula, I would.

[Flula Borg]

Please do it.

[Conan O'Brien]

But I think you're unstoppable. You're an unstoppable force.

[Flula Borg]

That's only because I outweigh you by 13kg.

[Conan O'Brien]

Flua, I thank you for being here.

[Flula Borg]

And I apologize for all of the minutes we spent together. We can never have those back.

[Conan O'Brien]

I adore you. I'm gonna say that in all seriousness, and I'm gonna look you in the eye, Flula.

[Flula Borg]

Thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

And say that whatever you're selling, I am buying because you are a hilarious, hilarious gentleman and I really enjoy.

[Flula Borg]

Likewise, Conan. Thank you for having me and letting me join this table. Everyone now making eye contact as if we are drinking beverages, which is very important when you cheers.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes rule.

[Flula Borg]

That's one thing to remember, listeners of konaf. Available wherever podcasts are located.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, now I feel like I'm being mocked. This is over.

[Flula Borg]

No, I'm promoting your show to ensure its longevity.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do we have security? Can someone escort him out? Oh, you're going to do it, Eduardo, Please do it. Oh, God, this guy's going to toss you around like a rag doll. Hot. Get out of. Get out. Get out.

[Flula Borg]

Okay, I'm leaving. Bye.

[Conan O'Brien]

Put in some footsteps. And now can you. Matthias, can you add some going downstairs sounds? Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, I forgot my fanny pack.

[Conan O'Brien]

Ooh, that's kind of sexy. That's.

[Flula Borg]

Bye again.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then more. Yeah, more footsteps.

[Matt Gourley]

Okay, he's done it for us.

[Conan O'Brien]

All right.

[Flula Borg]

Jesus.

[Conan O'Brien]

Conan o' Brien needs a friend. Is brought to you by airbnb. Hey, Sona, you're taking a trip to Hawaii soon? Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes, I am.

[Conan O'Brien]

This is a whole family thing.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's a whole family thing. All four of us are going and we're leaving Oki with my parents. And so I am thinking to make some extra cash on the side, I'm gonna put my place up on Airbnb.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's smart. I'll tell you why. Why Just let your place, which is very nice, sit there.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think you Airbnb it while you're out of town.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yep.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then you make some money to buy, you know, your husband tack some cool Hawaiian shirts and stuff.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, he loves Hawaiian shirts.

[Conan O'Brien]

He's a good looking guy in a Hawaiian shirt. Yeah. Anyway, it's so smart if you host while you're away, you're basically offsetting some of the cost of your own vacation lodging. It's the circle of life if you think about it.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's true.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what I mean?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hosting is a unique way to save money while you're traveling. And it's super easy. You just. You leave. Here's the thing. Your home might be worth more than you think it is. Find out how [e-mail] host. Do this Sona. I really want to see Tac wearing a lot of new Hawaiian shirts when you guys get back. And I want it to be cash you made from Airbnb.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay?

[Conan O'Brien]

Beach bodies are cool. I mean, trust me, nobody knows that more than I do. I take my shirt off, I just flex and my shirt rips apart. Just flying off my body like there's been an explosion. But guess what? Well, rested bodies are cooler. Way less likely to get sidelined by back pain on a beautiful day this summer. Protect what really matters. Your spine. People think it's all about their tan. It's your spine. That's what people are checking out when you walk down the beach. Because sunburns fades. But bad sleep sticks around. Ready to wake up feeling refreshed. I'm trying to see where this ad is going. Here we go. Jesus. I was on this road. It was twisting and turning. I was going deeper and deeper. Some dense woods. And then finally, I'm home. Mattress Firm offers a curated premium selection of mattresses. Make it easy to find the perfect upgrade. Since there's no one size fits all mattress. Mattress Firm sleep experts trained to match each customer with the right fit. Plus with Mattress Firm's 120 night sleep trial. Love it or get your money back if it's not the right fit. Sleep better, summer harder. Get matched at Mattress Firm's fourth of July sale and sleep at night. Text CONAN to 766693 for $100 off your next purchase at Mattress Firm. Restrictions apply. See mattressfirm.com or stores for more details.

[Matt Gourley]

It's tradition that we have Flula sit in for the third act segment here. Wonderful podcast.

[Conan O'Brien]

He's such a good guest. I enjoy him so much. I always say, why would we have.

[Flula Borg]

Him leave when he has nothing else going on professionally?

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I checked. You have no automobile.

[Flula Borg]

I don't.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you have.

[Flula Borg]

I'm a pedestrian through and through. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I don't think you have an apartment.

[Flula Borg]

I refuse one.

[Conan O'Brien]

So anyway, he's gonna help us out today. And what are we doing?

[Matt Gourley]

Well, we're gonna do a review. The reviewers where we go to Apple Podcasts and we find a review and we read it and we kind of comment on the review that's commenting on the show. So you can join us any Opinions or any thoughts you have on this.

[Flula Borg]

I may offer feedback to the feedback.

[Conan O'Brien]

Exactly.

[Flula Borg]

So many.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Or you may have thoughts about how this podcast could be improved. I'm just assuming you're a huge fan.

[Matt Gourley]

This is from listener KP in the Boston area. Five stars.

[Flula Borg]

Christoph Spozingis.

[Matt Gourley]

You know him?

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

Titled Best podcast to listen to during an mri.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, I didn't know he was injured.

[Matt Gourley]

I'm sorry you had to find out this way.

[Conan O'Brien]

You need to check up on your friends a little more.

[Flula Borg]

I feel very bad. Sorry about that, Kristaps.

[Matt Gourley]

I had an MRI recently, and the technician offered to let me listen to music on the provided headphones during the procedure. I immediately asked if the Conan o' Brien needs a friend podcast was available, and it was really helped keep my mind off the loud sounds of the MRA machine and claustrophobia. As I left the appointment, the text said, I did great. And after a pause, he added, no one's ever requested Conan. Well, I say that more people should. Awesome podcast. I love you guys. And I'm sending extra love and support to Sona and her friends. Family hugs.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, that's very sweet. That's very sweet. My first question would be, I would love to watch the images of a brain that's listening to this podcast. What happens to the human brain?

[Flula Borg]

Just the flatline.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, it might be. I don't know, they might start to see areas of the brain light up that aren't supposed to light up.

[Sona Movsesian]

This is kind of insulting, if I'm going to be honest, because you have to be extremely still in an mri, which means this person wasn't even giggling a little bit.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, we don't know that. Maybe, maybe, maybe this person was laughing really hard, their head was moving around, and they didn't get a really good scan.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, the technician said that the person did great.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you think that technician cares? You have a voice technician.

[Matt Gourley]

You do.

[Conan O'Brien]

The technician said that this guy was.

[Flula Borg]

Lulled to sleep by this podcast.

[Conan O'Brien]

I didn't think about that.

[Flula Borg]

The calmest patient he's ever had said.

[Conan O'Brien]

I've never seen someone.

[Matt Gourley]

You've been playing a podcast during massages, Massage parlors and spas.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, I've heard that they play our podcast when someone's having eye surgery, and if they move even a millimeter, they'll be blinded for life. Life. And they say people were just completely rigid, unmoving, and almost frozen.

[Matt Gourley]

Here in the new Mission Impossible, when he's defusing a bomb, he requests our podcast.

[Conan O'Brien]

Play Season three, Cruz's hand is shaking just slightly. And he goes play something disengaged. Wow. You diffuse the bomb at 35 seconds. Not the required 1 second left for most action movies.

[Flula Borg]

Thanks, Conan.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what? That's terribly insulting. I took it a different way. And then what I heard that you didn't hear is no one ever asked for Conan.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, that's true.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's the part I. I think they're.

[Matt Gourley]

Used to getting music. So maybe he's. You're the first ever podcast.

[Conan O'Brien]

I might be the first podcast. I might be the first podcast that's been listened to during an mri. And you know what that stands for?

[Flula Borg]

Yes. Portland Trailblazers.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, you need an Mr. Definitely.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

You. Have you had checkup recently? Fula.

[Flula Borg]

I'm having a dentist appointment tomorrow.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Flula Borg]

Shall I request a Marie?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, you should. I would be fascinated to find out what would happen if they looked. If they could get inside your mind and look at it.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

I bet it would be just a lot of little gears made of chocolate turning around.

[Matt Gourley]

Well, you guys like that exchange you had during the earlier interview? If you were both hooked up to MRIs during that, I'd be.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think the MRIs would get up and leave.

[Flula Borg]

Yes. Just a gun.

[Conan O'Brien]

They'd be like the two Grumpy man and the Muppets. Just leave.

[Flula Borg]

Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. Okay. Grumpy old MRIs.

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

So we think that this guy was very still and didn't laugh at all during the mri, Correct?

[Flula Borg]

Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

They have to be very still.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, maybe it was one of those really serious podcasts. I do.

[Flula Borg]

Don't you do an ASMR episode once a week?

[Conan O'Brien]

No, that's me trying to be funny.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, that's what that is.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, Eduardo. Cut.

[Conan O'Brien]

No. So you often listen to my podcasts and think I'm just trying to make.

[Flula Borg]

Noises when I have insomnia. Just. It sounds like you're trying to open, like a bag of Skittles. Then I'm out.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's me talking to Jeff Garland.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, that's what that was. That is literal white noise. It does work.

[Conan O'Brien]

A bag of Skittles. I love the way you say things. I really do. You enhance words. Yes. No, just in general. I love. He speaks. You know what I'm talking about, Sona. I do.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's cool.

[Flula Borg]

I heard you say it when I said boat.

[Conan O'Brien]

Boat. When you say boat.

[Flula Borg]

Boat. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

I just love it.

[Flula Borg]

We're gonna need a pick up. Boat.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Flula Borg]

John, from the phone. The mouth.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, it's called John's. Not the mouth. It's John's.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

What do you, what do you call E T?

[Flula Borg]

What? Weird Guy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Weird Guy. I think weird guy is just as good. Weird guy is just as good as.

[Flula Borg]

E T. Same syllable amount.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, okay, yes, that's a good point.

[Matt Gourley]

Steven Spielberg's Weird Guy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Weird Guy.

[Sona Movsesian]

Seminal movie from the guy who brought you the mouth.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. If you like the mouth, you'll love the weird guy.

[Matt Gourley]

Saving Private Ryan.

[Flula Borg]

Watch out, Here it comes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Which is true.

[Flula Borg]

It's just true.

[Conan O'Brien]

They can come. The Americans can come.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

[Flula Borg]

Oh, here. Here they come again. From outside.

[Conan O'Brien]

To the third degree.

[Flula Borg]

To the third degree. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God.

[Flula Borg]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I think you would agree then. I mean, what would your review of this podcast.

[Flula Borg]

You.

[Conan O'Brien]

What would you say? Would you give us five stars?

[Flula Borg]

Yes. Dear Sona and Matt and Conan, I love very much your cast of parts. It is what I listen to during all of my surgeries, elective and otherwise. Please keep up the silent, non emotional work.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's a wonderful review, Flula. Thank you for joining us for this segment.

[Flula Borg]

Hey, thank you for having me for this segment as well. Review the reviewers here on konaf.

[Conan O'Brien]

Conor, Brian needs a friend.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, of course.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, yes. Well, thank you once again. Fl you're free to leave and we'll add some sound effects of you leaving.

[Flula Borg]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

And this time in wooden clogs.

[Flula Borg]

Yes, very German. Sure. Bye.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, I thought we were doing it.

[Matt Gourley]

You did it.

[Flula Borg]

Nice.

[Sona Movsesian]

But that was a horse.

[Flula Borg]

No, it's good.

[Conan O'Brien]

That means I don't have to do any of these.

[Sona Movsesian]

That was a horse.

[Matt Gourley]

Conan o' Brien needs a friend. With Conan o', Brien, Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley produced by me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Theme song by the White Stripes, incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples, engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Geena Bautista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail] Conan and if you haven't already. Please subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded. Hey there, it's Kelly Ripa, and if you've been listening to my podcast, we are knee deep in season three. And if you haven't heard it, it's time to get on board. After years of interviewing celebs on camera, I finally get to bring you the real conversations that take place when the cameras aren't rolling. Where else are you going to hear Michelle Obama talk about keeping her girls out of Page 6? Hilaria Baldwin's hilarious reaction to Alec running for office, or Jeremy Renner's lucid hallucinations about Jamie Foxx? Nowhere else. It's raw, it's honest, and best of all, it's off camera. And believe me, that's where you get the good stuff. So download. Let's talk off Camera with Kelly Ripa now. Wherever you get your podcast.

[Conan O'Brien]

The sun's blazing and the pavement sizzling. Time for My Mochi Ice Cream. My Mochi is little scoops of cool, creamy ice cream wrapped in soft, chewy dough. It comes in tons of amazing flavors like strawberry, mango and cookies and cream. Gluten free, snack ready and just 70 calories a piece. Mymochi's perfect for pool days, barbecues, and just chilling with your crew. When the heat's on, grab a purple box of My Mochi ice cream, pop one, cool down. Joyfully chill.