Ike Barinholtz

Summary

Podcast Summary: Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend – Ike Barinholtz (April 27, 2026)

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Main Theme

This episode of Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend features actor, comedian, and trivia aficionado Ike Barinholtz. The conversation centers on comedy origins, the bonds between family and creative pursuits, behind-the-scenes showbiz realities, the transformative power of improv, and friendly (yet razor-sharp) banter about trivia and the business of Hollywood friendship. As always, Conan, Ike, and the regular crew (Sona, David, Eduardo) keep it playful, self-deprecating, and quick-witted, making for a spirited mix of personal stories, comedic theory, and inventive nonsense.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The "Movie Rap" Obsession (02:34–14:00)

• Conan riffs on his fixation with rappers awkwardly shoehorning movie plots into soundtrack songs (e.g., MC Hammer for "Addams Family," Vanilla Ice for "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," Pitbull for "Men in Black 3").
• Recalls hearing Pitbull's "Back in Time" in an art supply store and becoming obsessed with the specificity of the lyrics explaining the plot.
• Conan jokes about being overlooked for the Toy Story 5 soundtrack and even prank-calls his agent about whether he still has a shot at rapping for the film.
• Quote:
  • “My favorite thing is when the rapper's like, ‘they got to get the jewel, take it up to the mountain…got to meet Papa Smurf…don't cross the purple river…’” — Conan O’Brien (10:41)
• Extended bit: Conan torments his staff by repeatedly playing Pitbull in the car, attempting to convince them he recorded it himself.

2. Conan & Ike: Comedy Upbringings and Family Influence (20:00–25:00)

• Ike describes growing up in a “big comedy house” in Chicago, parents loving SCTV, SNL, and Taxi.
• Ike’s father inspired his comedic journey but opted for a practical law career, until much later (eventually landing acting gigs, including in "Jury Duty").
• Quote:
  • “My dad wanted to be in comedy…he auditioned for Second City when he was really young…then went to law school. Years later he gets a call, puts himself on tape for a random show…and now he’s an LA-based actor doing a movie right now with Jennifer Garner.” — Ike Barinholtz (22:02)
• Family legacy: Ike and his brother both perform, but now their dad's career has “far outstripped” theirs.

3. The Trivia Champion Persona & Charity Game Show Spoof (16:49–19:41)

• Ike jokes about winning large sums for charity on Celebrity Jeopardy and Who Wants to be a Millionaire, but “taking” most of the money for himself in a tongue-in-cheek riff on Hollywood greed.
• Conan and Ike both lampoon celebrity culture and the idea that charities should “earn” their money, emphasizing how they revel in being “unpopular” with these stances.
• Quote:
  • “Charities get soft if they just get the money. They gotta earn it!” — Conan O’Brien (19:21)

4. Boom Chicago & The Amsterdam Improv Era (37:26–44:28)

• Ike recounts performing with Boom Chicago in Amsterdam after Seth Meyers, sharing the history of the theater as an enclave for Americanized improv in Europe.
• Describes the challenges of playing to multilingual, pop-culture-agnostic crowds, and how it shifted his comedic style from subtle to more physical, “big” performances.
• Lists significant alumni from the troupe (Seth Meyers, Jordan Peele, Jason Sudeikis, Kay Cannon, etc.).
• Quote:
  • “I was 22…went to Europe…had a threesome every day I was there for two years. That’s like 700…21,000 sexual experiences…I learned how to perform big!” — Ike Barinholtz (38:41) (said with comic exaggeration).

5. Showbiz Satire: Behind-the-Scenes of "The Studio" & Late Night (31:32–44:47)

• Conan and Ike reflect on the realities and exaggerations in shows like “The Larry Sanders Show,” “The Studio,” and Conan’s own late-night productions.
• They joke about Hollywood executives, their quirks (e.g., “where are we going to dinner?”), and how real-life power dynamics inspire fictional characters.
• Acknowledgement of writer/performer Brian Stack’s legacy, as a connecting thread across multiple late-night shows.

6. Friendship, Loyalty, and Hollywood Rivalries (46:08–47:56)

• Extended running joke about Paul Rudd being a fair-weather friend, compared to Ike’s “consistently ice cold” career (making him reliable out of necessity).
• Conan claims Ike is the better friend by virtue of always being available, since “nothing hits” for him.
• Quote:
  • “You know what? Your career is consistently ice cold. Just, just… frozen.” — Conan (47:13)

7. The Joy (and Futility) of Trivia Games (52:31–56:29)

• Ike quizzes Conan with challenging Trivial Pursuit questions, most of which stump both men; they riff on their lack of useful knowledge and riff on bad pop culture.
• Sample trivia: Lord & Taylor’s Wanamaker Grand (pipe organ), quotes by hip-hop moguls, Princess Anne’s funeral procession, Monica Seles’ missing Grand Slam, origins of Girls Gone Wild.
• Conan’s old “connection” to scandalous video moguls becomes a joke about questionable business partnerships.

8. Ike’s New Podcast: Funny You Ask (56:32–60:24)

• Ike introduces his new weekly comedy trivia show, where he writes custom questions for his celebrity guests.
• Invites Conan to appear; Conan feigns busyness, but ultimately agrees in his trademark faux-aloof style.
• Quote:
  • “The answer is yes. Yes, a thousand times. And I feel like we are making really good headway into the friendship arena. This is the real reason I came here.” — Ike Barinholtz (59:35)

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• “My favorite thing is when the rapper's like, ‘they got to get the jewel, take it up to the mountain…got to meet Papa Smurf…don't cross the purple river…’” — Conan O’Brien (10:41)
• “My dad wanted to be in comedy…now he’s an LA-based actor doing a movie right now with Jennifer Garner.” — Ike Barinholtz (22:02)
• “Charities get soft if they just get the money. They gotta earn it!” — Conan O’Brien (19:21)
• “I was 22…went to Europe…had a threesome every day I was there for two years. That’s like 700…21,000 sexual experiences…” — Ike Barinholtz (38:41) (comic riff)
• “You know what? Your career is consistently ice cold. Just, just… frozen.” — Conan (47:13)
• “The answer is yes. Yes, a thousand times. And I feel like we are making really good headway into the friendship arena…” — Ike (59:35)

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Important Segments by Timestamp

• Obsession with Rappers Summarizing Movie Plots: 02:34–14:00
• Comedy & Family Influence / Boom Chicago: 20:00–25:00, 37:26–44:28
• Charity Game Shows Parody: 16:49–19:41
• Trivia Lightning Round: 52:31–56:29
• Ike’s New Podcast Pitch & Conan’s Acceptance: 56:32–60:24

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Tone and Style

• Playful, improvisational, deeply self-aware. The tone is offbeat, bordering on absurd, but with an undercurrent of mutual respect and genuine curiosity about each other's comedic journeys.
• The banter is heavily layered with meta-jokes (about the process, the industry, and their own flaws), extended bits that build on callbacks, and a mixture of sincere and satirical reflection.
• Both Ike and Conan are authentically invested in each other's company, even as they satirize the notion of showbiz friendship itself.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

Ike Barinholtz and Conan O’Brien spend the hour trading stories about comedy as a family affair, the perils and pleasures of making friends in Hollywood, enduring improv in Amsterdam, and competing for king of the (useless but hilarious) trivia hill. The episode is packed with inside showbiz references, impressions, off-the-wall digressions, and a genuine warmth that shines through the laughs. Ike’s pitch for his new trivia podcast is both sincere and in line with the running “friendship audition” conceit of the show, leading Conan to (eventually) accept. The two prove that in comedy, the best moments are often tangents—and maybe, just maybe, some real friendship comes out of the chaos.

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Transcript

[Conan O'Brien]

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[David Hoppin]

There sure is.

[Conan O'Brien]

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[David Hoppin]

It's a good one.

[Conan O'Brien]

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[David Hoppin]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

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[Ike Barinholtz]

Hi, my name is Ike Barinholtz, and I feel bullish about being Conan o'.

[Conan O'Brien]

Brien. Very, very Teddy Roosevelt. Yes.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Bully bull moose Speak softly and carry a large redheaded man.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes,

[Ike Barinholtz]

Fall is here Hear the yell

[David Hoppin]

Back to school Ring the bell Brand

[Conan O'Brien]

new shoes Walk and lose Climb the

[David Hoppin]

fence Books and pens I can tell

[Conan O'Brien]

that we are gonna be friends Yes,

[David Hoppin]

I can tell that we are gonna be friends.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Welcome to Conan o' Brien Needs a Friend. It took me a second to realize what we were doing. And I'm Conan o' Brien from the title of the thing. And this is Sonoma Obsessian. This is David. This is David Hoppin. I'm just trying to come in with fresh energy. I have an obsession lately that I want to talk about.

[David Hoppin]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Which is rappers that have agreed to do a soundtrack for a major motion picture, and then they have to rap about the movie and kind of get bogged down on the plot of the movie. It's one of my obsessions lately. One of the things I was thinking about, and I think one of the worst offenders was when Hammer. MC Hammer, for the sequel to the first Adams House movie.

[David Hoppin]

Oh, boy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you remember this? Adams family? Yeah. He had to rap about the Addams Family. And he. I know this is a long time ago, and people listening right now are like, conan, what are you doing? What are you doing? And, my love, I know I have loved ones that tell me that all the time. What are you doing? Yeah.

[David Hoppin]

Everyone says it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. And I think every conversation I have with you, so it begins with you going, what are you doing?

[David Hoppin]

What are you doing?

[Conan O'Brien]

What are you doing? And you always do it like that. What are you doing?

[David Hoppin]

Why do I have an accent?

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know. And you're always making a meatball when you say that to me. You're like, what are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? So anyway, so MC Hammer was getting into the weeds. You know, some executive said, you got to mention Fester, you got to mention Wednesday. You got to talk about Gomez, you got to talk about. You know, and then. Okay. And you think, okay, Conan, that's one example. Have you got more? I do have more. Oh, my God.

[David Hoppin]

You prepared.

[David Melmedz]

You did research.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I didn't do research. These are the ones. I wrote them down. As they came to me, I remembered Vanilla Ice, Ninja Wrap. Yes.

[David Hoppin]

Oh, my God, I remember that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. And of course. And of course, you know, Vanilla Ice is he. And. And no offense to. Is it. Mr. Van Winkle was his name in court documents. No offense to him. But again, he had to get bogged down, probably, in talking about various. Ninja Go.

[David Hoppin]

Ninja Go. Ninja Go.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah.

[David Hoppin]

And they started breakdancing, and they start break dancing.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then did he have to get into the plot? That's my favorite thing is when they're like, Michelangelo has to get the blue jewel. It's at a show, and he's performing. It's in the movie.

[Eduardo Perez]

They're at a concert.

[Conan O'Brien]

Of course it is. Of course it is. Bobby Brown, Ghostbusters 2.

[David Hoppin]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

Remember that? That one.

[David Hoppin]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And. And. And it. It just goes on and on and on, and I love it. And the reason I. It all came back to mind is the other day. You know, I like to sketch. You know, that's one of my things that I like to do.

[David Hoppin]

You're a doodler.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm a doodler. I'm a draw. I like to draw. I like pen and ink. So I went into. I'll give him a shout out. Blicks Art supply. Hey, I can hang out in the Blicks forever. I just love pens. Paper. Yeah, I'm from the streets, and. But I'm there, and I'm, you know, checking out some of the latest cool, you know, cool pens out of Japan. And you need an eraser that you can knead. You know, that's K, N E a D, you know, a kneading eraser. Anyway, I'm checking out. Yeah. And then I'm gonna go out and get laid, you know? But that's the order that I like to do things, is I like to get the really good Japanese pen, a kneadable eraser, and then I have to go out, you know what I mean? And fucking spread my seed all over town. Oh, my God. That's just the order that I like to do things. And if people think I came in hot today, maybe I did. I was in Blix here on the west side of Los Angeles.

[David Hoppin]

Blix or Blick?

[Conan O'Brien]

Blick. It's just Blick. But sometimes I go in and I go like, hey, I'm gonna Blix it up. You know?

[David Hoppin]

Okay, I.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then watch out, world. Cause I'm coming after, you know, once I get my supplies, the little bag of my little bag. Japanese pens. That's when I like to stroll the boulevard and check for action. Anyway, I'm in there, and what do I hear? Oh, my God, it's Pitbull. And he's rapping about men in black 3. And sure enough, this rapper has. Has had to bend the knee to the studio executives. And he's talking about, we gotta go back in time. He's explaining the plot. Do you know what I mean? And again, that always freaks me out when rappers, you know.

[David Hoppin]

Ah, well, everybody needs. I mean, imagine how much money they get. You should try to do a rap for a movie.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what I think? Maybe I'm jealous that no one's asked. Toy Story 5.

[David Hoppin]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Toy Story 5. Thank you. Thank you. Now, my gu is Toy Story 5's coming out soon. I'm in it. I guess I was thinking maybe in the back of my mind, they might want me involved in the soundtrack.

[David Hoppin]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, no one wants to hear from Tim Allen and Tom Hanks anymore. You know what I mean? Been there, done that. This is my chance to shine.

[David Hoppin]

I know Randy Newman typically does a lot of the songs for the Toy Story movies, but maybe we change it up this time.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, it's probably getting late. My guess is they've figured this out already because they've been working on this movie for years. But if they haven't. And who's to say I can't rap? I did a movie last year. People thought, well, he can't do a movie. Well, guess what?

[Eduardo Perez]

I did.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. So I think I could wrap the plot to a movie.

[David Hoppin]

I think you can do. First of all, your beatbox is your beatbox. There you go. That your beatbox game is off the charts.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[David Hoppin]

So I think you can definitely chart adjacent. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm like off the chart. And then so far away from the chart.

[David Hoppin]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

That no one can even see a chart near me. You know what I mean? There's no clipboard. There's no chart insight. If you had binoculars, you wouldn't see the chart.

[David Hoppin]

I've heard you rap before and you do a throwback where you go, my name is Conan.

[Conan O'Brien]

I like to take it back.

[David Hoppin]

Everybody wants to hear right now.

[Conan O'Brien]

Early 80s.

[David Hoppin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Every rap should start with, my name is blank, whoever you are. In my case, Conan. My name is Conan and I'm here to say I'm here to rap the usa. That's how every rap should start.

[David Melmedz]

You also throw Superman into anything.

[Conan O'Brien]

Rides really well. Superman. Yeah. I got tears about Superman's boss's cape an hour ago. You know, if you throw Superman's beef au jus, you like beef au juice.

[David Hoppin]

It's a lot of.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because I like to say, you know, those bills will accrue and then you won't be able to afford your beef au jus, which was my favorite meal in high school. The cafeteria had beef au jus. It's a juicy beef.

[David Hoppin]

These are real hard lyrics.

[Conan O'Brien]

Quiet. I mean, I respect. Oh, I'm getting a call right now from my. What do you think Rick Cell wants? That's my manager.

[David Hoppin]

Oh, he really thought you were doing a bit.

[Conan O'Brien]

And no, my agent, Rick Rosen, maybe he heard about. Maybe he's gonna let you know there's a rap. Hey, Rick. Rick, you're on right now. This is Rick Rosen. He's one of the biggest agents in Hollywood. Yeah, hi, Rick in that sona. And. And Blaze back there and. And David. Rick, here's my question. Is it too late? Do you think they've locked in the Toy Story 5 soundtrack? Is that probably locked in already, or do you think there's a chance I could do a song that would be in Toy Story 5?

[David Hoppin]

A rap.

[Ike Barinholtz]

A rap.

[Conan O'Brien]

A rap.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I think.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think that if you were going to sing a song, they erase the soundtrack that they have already locked. Yes. Yeah. So you're saying that if Randy Newman has already written, like, a great song that's a tearjerker, but also a beautiful melody. Because I love Randy Newman. And it's set. If I said. If you called them right now, you know, Disney Pixar and said Conan wants to rape about the plot of Toy Story 5, they would delete. I don't mean just bump it, but delete what Randy Newman has done.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I think they might even move the release date.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God. Oh.

[David Hoppin]

Now we know why Rick. We know why Rick's been around. We know why Rick's been around for a while.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what, Rick? You're the best agent in the business. I can't. I'm so glad I took this call, and I'm going to jump off now, but I will call you back when we're done wasting America's time. I'll call you right back. I just hung up on him. That's how big I am. This guy runs Hollywood, and I just. And guess what? I now don't have an agent because he's. That was fantastic. And you know what? That's why. That was perfect timing.

[David Hoppin]

Surrounded by enablers.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm so.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Hey.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hello, Sona. How are you? You're my biggest enabler. Ha ha. Good one, boss. So anyway, that is the. The goal is I want to rap, and I really want to get into the weeds on the plot, because that's my favorite thing is when the rapper's like, they got to get the jewel. They got to take it up to that mountain. You know what I mean? They've got to meet Papa Smurf. Do you know what I mean? And then they got to go back in time. But remember, don't cross. You know what I mean? Don't cross the Whatever. The purple river, because that means that. What's another Smurf?

[David Hoppin]

Smurfette.

[Conan O'Brien]

Don't say it like I'm an idiot.

[David Hoppin]

Smurfette.

[Conan O'Brien]

Idiot.

[David Hoppin]

The girl one.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, well, anyway, one girl. These are the obsessions that I have. They grip me. And what did I do, Eduardo? Why don't you testify? I come in hot today. And what did I make you do?

[Eduardo Perez]

You made me play pit bulls Back in time.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, and you know what I did? I had you advance it. To where? 44 seconds. I said go 44 seconds in. I said start at 44 seconds, because that's where Pitbull comes in with the rap. I don't want to waste time not hearing Pitbull. Not only that, Conan texts me days in advance.

[Eduardo Perez]

Warning me that he wants this to be the height.

[Conan O'Brien]

How do you know that?

[David Hoppin]

How do you listen to it in your car?

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, often. Duh. That's such a big duh. You know what? I had to unlock my jaw to get this duh out. Like a snake. I had to unlock my jaw to push more duh out of my face. Yes. I heard Pitbull in a Blicks art supply store. Right. And. Sorry, Blick Arts, whatever.

[David Hoppin]

If they're gonna give us free shoe, you got to give their right name.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know. Who cares? They're lucky I'm talking about them.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And.

[Conan O'Brien]

And. And I. I hear it. I'm obsessed. I get in the car, I have to hear it some more. Then I notice when. Okay, I really like it when it starts right in.

[Ike Barinholtz]

On the.

[Conan O'Brien]

On the rapping with Pitbull, there's a big preamble that takes 44 seconds before we get to hear about Miami. You gotta go back in time. He knows the exact seconds. No, I did. That's what I'm saying. I know exactly what seconds. So I said. And then I come into that verse two. You're like, wait, wait, verse two? Yeah, yeah, I know exactly. What are you talking about?

[David Melmedz]

You played it three times in the car when we drove around yesterday.

[Conan O'Brien]

And now I fooled David. So David was driving me around yesterday. I make him wear a chauffeur's cap, which I think is illegal, and I sit in the back of his. What is. What kind of car do you drive? A Hyundai. Yeah, I sit in the back of his Hyundai, and I make him wear a tiny, tiny chauffeur's cap. It looks like a little yarmulke on his head, and it's got a little rubber band that holds it on his head. So I'm sitting in the back. And I fooled you because I said. Because I've been playing with a band recently, and I said, oh, we worked out a really good tune, and we have a recording of it. And he went, oh, really? And I went, yeah, do you want to hear it? It's the first recording. And he. Yeah. And I started to play pit bulls back in time. And you. For a second, what did you think?

[David Melmedz]

I turned and I said, you really recorded this with the band?

[Ike Barinholtz]

I don't know.

[David Melmedz]

I'm usually. I don't know what happened to me.

[David Hoppin]

You can't tell when Mr. Worldwide is or.

[Conan O'Brien]

I knew.

[David Melmedz]

I thought, like, he made the band play it, and then he got me again later, and then he started to

[Conan O'Brien]

hear the rap and it's Pitbull rapping. And he thought for a second, I guess Conan could have done that. Oh, no.

[David Hoppin]

Oh, blasphemy.

[David Melmedz]

And then later he said, hey, can I plug my ph. I've been really into this Tate McCrae song.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, okay, I'd like to hear that. And then I hit. Of course. What did I hit? Pitbull back in time and blasted you again. And you were like, why do I believe him? I've got it. I really want to play this new Tate McCrae song. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, you're David hopping. All right, peace out. Let's get into it. Who am I? All right, we got enough of this. My guest today stars as Sal Saperstein in the Emmy award winning Apple TV series the Studio. He now has a new trivia podcast called Funny you ask, with new episodes every Wednesday. He's a very funny guy, and I've always enjoyed him very much and excited he's here today. Ike Barinholz, welcome. I'm so happy you're here. You are a fine fellow. Hilariously funny. And now we get to hang. Now, we had a brief interaction recently at a pizza restaurant, and I remembered saying, I think to the waiter, can you escort this man away?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes. Yes. I was there with my family. It was my daughter's birthday, and all I did was I just gave Conan a wave across the restaurant and we sat down. A couple minutes later, some of the staff came out and said, sir, you need to leave.

[Conan O'Brien]

I signaled them, yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Which was. It was.

[Conan O'Brien]

And they took you away from your daughter?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. No.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then she started crying and she said, why they take my daddy away? And I said, shut it.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And now, whenever we see Conan on screen, my daughter goes, daddy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

She points at him and goes, daddy. Which is nice. I'm fine with it. Now, after a lot of ketamine therapy, I'm okay with it. I legitimately want to be your friend. I think a lot of phonies come on this show and they say, oh, I want to be your friend. And they don't care.

[Conan O'Brien]

They don't. And you know what? I try to follow up with a lot of them. I can't get through.

[Ike Barinholtz]

No, no.

[Conan O'Brien]

No one wants to talk to me.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I'm here because I truly want to be your friend. More so than these vipers?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Ike Barinholtz]

These are not your friends. They are happy when you fail.

[Conan O'Brien]

They are the little fish that grab onto the larger, more productive mammal and suck it of its life essence. Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. I won't suck Your essence. No.

[Conan O'Brien]

You will.

[Ike Barinholtz]

No matter how much you ask, if

[Conan O'Brien]

you want to get ahead in this business, you will suck my essence. It's the way it goes. Ike, we have a lot to talk about.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Let's go.

[Conan O'Brien]

And first of all, I'm a huge fan of the studio, and I love your work in the studio. You also have this new podcast, which is trivia based, which I'm very excited about, because I know you to be a trivia maven. I am.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I was gonna say maven. And you beat me to it.

[Conan O'Brien]

You are a Jeopardy. Celebrity. Jeopardy. Champ.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

You won a million dollars for charity, of which I'm took $600,000.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Well, I. You know the phrase you got to wet your beak?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, the ch. The charity got money. They got paid. They're fine.

[Conan O'Brien]

It was for, I think, pediatric oncology.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you took $600,000.

[Ike Barinholtz]

First of all, if you said to someone, I want to give you $400,000, that sounds pretty great.

[David Melmedz]

Right?

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Let's leave that there. I have an infrastructure. I have business. I have people that I have to pay to make sure that I'm able to get to Jeopardy.

[Conan O'Brien]

You talk that way, Ike, but when I saw you at the pizza restaurant in Santa Barbara, I did notice when you left, because I made you leave, that you got into a very expensive Bugatti.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And the license plate was number four charity.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That's when I say I'm playing for charity. You don't specify it. Did I get a Bugatti that has four cars for my family? Yes. We drive up and down Monaco. You see, everyone's seen a motorcycle. I've seen a pod here, a pod here, a pod in the back, and the pod.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's amazing. They're all lashed. It's smaller Bugattis attached to the larger Bugatti, and they're lashed together. So they take up both lanes.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oncoming. So cars have to. He has a. You have a car that goes ahead of you?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, we have a follow car. You have a follow car. You don't have a follow car.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, you have a follow car that goes ahead of you and lays down orange cones to keep people off the road.

[Ike Barinholtz]

This is why I need money to pay these people.

[Conan O'Brien]

They don't work for free, you motherfucker. That's what. All I wanted to say was to get Ike Barentolt here, who's. Everyone's like, oh, he's so funny. He's such a good guy. Ripped off his charity in the name of charity. Jeopardy.

[Eduardo Perez]

Ridiculous.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I also Won a million dollars on Celebrity who Wants to be a Millionaire?

[Conan O'Brien]

That's true.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. So I've done two Celebrity how much money?

[Conan O'Brien]

And you got to keep all that money.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That money went straight to me, baby. No, that went. They both. Everything went to charity. Every dime went to charity.

[Conan O'Brien]

Unfortunately, this has kept me off these charity shows. I won't. I, I, I'm sorry. It has. I'm just be. I'm sorry. I can't do it. I can't do it. I work hard. I don't want to go on Celebrity Jeopardy if I'm not getting a major piece of that dough. Okay? And that's just been my policy since day one.

[David Hoppin]

You know, I do think you would do a good job.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think it keeps char organizations, they get soft if they just get the money. Do you know what I mean?

[Ike Barinholtz]

They gotta work for it.

[Conan O'Brien]

They gotta earn it, and it will make them stronger. Anyway, this may be an unpopular stance, and if anyone thinks that I'm on the wrong track here, feel free to let us know on I don't care dot org.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It is good that you guys got an organizational status for that. That is, to me, that's reeksof.com but you guys did the paperwork. You paid the, the, the fees, and

[Conan O'Brien]

now we didn't pay all the fee. But okay, listen, we could screw around like this all day and make me very happy. But so much to talk about. We have points of commonality here, and that's always a good place to start, which is my interest in comedy really began with my dad. And I know that similar dynamic with you growing up. Chicago area, right?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Big comedy house. Mom and dad both loved sctv, loved Saturday Night Live, and then semi earliest loved Taxi. I remember, like, my first memory was them watching Taxi and thinking like Jim was funny. But there is something about them laughing that it's very nurturing. That's why. Because I don't want my kids to be in comedy. We don't laugh at all in the house. We watch serious documentaries.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I watch comedy, but I wear an iron mask so they can't see that I'm laughing. And so I've watched some of the funniest stuff. Wearing an iron mask.

[Ike Barinholtz]

They're watching stepbrothers in just a full mask. Yeah, just a full moving, no gesticulation.

[Conan O'Brien]

I've painted. Well, actually, I didn't paint it. I'll admit to that. I had a very good artist paint a frown on the iron mask so that. Yeah. Cause I don't. It's the same Thing I want them both working for the. Any kind of electric company.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes, that's steady. Good, steady work.

[Conan O'Brien]

Working for the power grid.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Everyone needs power.

[Conan O'Brien]

So you're watching your parents laugh and then you get this jolt. And one of the cool things about your story is that you very literally then pulled your dad. As you had success, as you've had success over the years, you have taken your dad along. Right. And, and given him his chance because he didn't go into comedy. My dad was a research scientist. Doctor, Nerd, researcher. Nerd.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Should have said that. I'm sorry, I apologize. I apologize.

[Conan O'Brien]

He told me he was a jock.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, I'm sorry, guys.

[Conan O'Brien]

But he said it as he was holding a mic microscope and wearing very short Bermuda shorts. That's when I knew when someone tells me. And he didn't say jock, he said, I'm a real jockster. So I suspected that wasn't the case.

[Ike Barinholtz]

My dad wanted to be in comedy and he auditioned for Second City when he was like, really young. And, and, and then he. It was just like too hard and my mom was pregnant and he was like, I'm just going to go to law school. School, let's go to law school and become an attorney and have steady work. And then he kind of took me to see my first improv show. And I remember seeing like Amy Poehler and Chris Farley, Tim Meadows in particular was so funny that I was like, I want to do this. And then years later, my brother did it. And our dad was watching from the outside looking. He was watching from the inside looking out. And long story short, he a couple years ago got a call to put himself on tape for a random show where they needed a judge and that became jury duty. And now he is. Is an LA based actor, isn't he? Doing a movie right now with Jennifer Gardner.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm not kidding.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And it's pretty wonderful.

[Conan O'Brien]

His career has far outstripped yours.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, me and my brother are.

[Conan O'Brien]

And the reason you're here today is he canceled.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. Okay, that's.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's what it was.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He was the big G. That's what it was. Okay, I get it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is Alan is your dad.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Alan is my dad.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. And so what's so cool is that. And, and working on the studio. He played a part in the studio. Didn't have a cameo.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He played the projectionist on the studio. I know you're a fan of the studio because I felt like everyone was destroyed when we lost Catherine o'.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hara. Yes. Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And she had this memorial service and my Family and I were appropriately in Canada that weekend, so we couldn't go. And I talked to Seth Rogen. When I got back, I was like, how was it? He goes, it was really beautiful. It was really sad. Conan came up to me and he said, she was incredible in the show. If you're replacing her, I would like

[Conan O'Brien]

to be considered Conan. Yeah, I did. I did. And I was.

[David Hoppin]

Oh, man.

[Conan O'Brien]

I was. Yeah. And I. I thought it was. It was the memorial. And I had an 8 by 10. And it had the quad split of me as a nerd on a safari. Yeah. On a safari. Me as an ice cream vendor.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Ice cream vendors are real niche, real specific.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. And Seth said, I don't think this is the right time.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, it's an appropriate.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I said, when is the right time? Would later today be okay? So that was. That's on me.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That is on you. But they're still trying to figure it out.

[David Melmedz]

So the season's done.

[Conan O'Brien]

I get mistaken for a woman a lot, so that's in my favor.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I live in this neighborhood. So I see you. I remember I was at my vet one time and I saw you walking down the street and there was a guy in front of you who clearly worked with you, and you were slapping him on the shoulder as hard as you.

[Conan O'Brien]

That would be a writer. Probably a writer.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And, like, shaking.

[Conan O'Brien]

That would be either Mike Sweeney or Matt o'. Brien.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I have Matt o'. Brien.

[Conan O'Brien]

I have certain writers and Matt o' Brien in particular. No relation. I tell everyone he was my cousin and I had to hire him even though he's not funny and he's a brilliant writer. He's really funny. He's no relation. It's just such a common last name. But I'm very comfortable giving him a physical beating.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, I'm very tactile, too. I touch people. I kind of grab my friends and.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, well, I grew up with a lot of. There's a lot of grabbing, wrestling.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And growing up, Irish Catholics and Jews are both tactile. Like, we like to touch.

[Conan O'Brien]

I like to get my hands on consenting males. Yeah, that covers it for the law.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Off.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think I'm okay now. I want to talk about Mother's Day. You came to mind. You're a mom.

[David Hoppin]

I'm a mom.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm the godfather to your two boys.

[David Hoppin]

Yep.

[Conan O'Brien]

Maybe the most important adult figure in their lives.

[David Hoppin]

Oh, okay. I don't remember there being a Godfather's Day.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, it's a good point. There should be, but that's not what I want to talk about David, and I wanted to get you something. And so I thought, hey, you know, we're big fans of Macy's, and Macy's online gift guide has some great ideas. And so I asked David to check that out and come up with some notions for you.

[David Hoppin]

Well, that's really nice. Thank you, David.

[David Melmedz]

Of course.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And I think it's going to be really.

[David Hoppin]

Thank you, David. I mean, he did the leg work, my money.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you're going to be happy because

[David Melmedz]

we didn't get you just one thing or two. We got you three things for Mother's Day. All right.

[Conan O'Brien]

I was afraid this.

[David Hoppin]

Really nice. Thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

I was afraid this would spoil you getting three things because next year you'll be like, now I want four. But anyway, David, all right, if I

[David Melmedz]

can have your attention to the screen. The first thing for Mother's Day, we got you a Michael Kors nolita large hobo shoulder bag.

[Conan O'Brien]

Michael Kors, you know, that's good stuff.

[David Hoppin]

Yeah, I like hobo stuff, too.

[David Melmedz]

I feel like you need a big bag.

[Conan O'Brien]

I do.

[David Melmedz]

You have a lot of things to carry.

[Conan O'Brien]

And also Sona likes to go to a restaurant and maybe take a few rolls or a dessert and sometimes a salt and pepper shaker that'll fit nicely into this Michael Kors bag.

[David Melmedz]

Next up, we have the Oracle Jet Automatic espresso machine by Brev.

[Conan O'Brien]

That is nice, Breville. Great machine. And look at that thing. It's gorgeous.

[David Melmedz]

Any. Any coffee you want?

[David Hoppin]

You're cool with this? Because this is 2000.

[David Melmedz]

I have the card. He's cool with it.

[David Hoppin]

Thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

I didn't know it was that much, but I don't mean to say that much because that's Breville. That's quality stuff.

[David Hoppin]

That is good. I don't even drink coffee, but I just want it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, also, wouldn't that look cool on your counter?

[David Hoppin]

It would.

[Conan O'Brien]

And also, doesn't your husband doesn't tack drink coffee?

[David Hoppin]

He does, but he doesn't drink, like, fancy coffee.

[David Melmedz]

Until now.

[Conan O'Brien]

Until now.

[David Melmedz]

And the third thing, we got You a Mezzards 10.1 inches inch digital calendar and photo frame.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. He asked me, how big should it be? And I said, do they have 10.1 inches? And he said, actually, they do.

[David Hoppin]

That's so specific.

[David Melmedz]

And now you can, you can sync, you know, Conan's calendar, if you want to know what he's up to.

[Conan O'Brien]

If you want to know what I'm up to, which you don't seem that interested in these days. Not at all. And I still employ you.

[David Hoppin]

And I still have access to all that information. I just choose not to look at it.

[Conan O'Brien]

These are great gifts. These are all for you for Mother's Day.

[David Hoppin]

Well, thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Or does she choose one?

[David Melmedz]

No, I. We said all three.

[David Hoppin]

Thank you, David.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm trying to think. Next time. I didn't say yes to all three.

[David Melmedz]

You give a lot of parameters.

[Conan O'Brien]

I really didn't. But you could use common sense. That's always the best parameter.

[David Melmedz]

Sona means so much to you. And it's Mother's Day.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sona, I want you to have these. Oh, thank you, Conan. And a big thanks to Macy's. They've got this great online gift guide. And, David, thanks to you for doing what I probably should have done on my own. Yeah. But I'm too entitled.

[David Melmedz]

Keeps me employed.

[Conan O'Brien]

All right, there you go. Let Macy's be your guide to gifting for Mother's Day. Shop now online or in store door. The other day, I did a quick stop by at my friend Rodman's house.

[David Hoppin]

Oh, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, I've known Rodman for years. I like to stop by his house and I'll be like, hey, Rodman. He's like, hey, Conan. And then I. I leave immediately. I go out the window.

[David Hoppin]

Oh, okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

This window. It's because it's a stop by. I thought, hey, it's the perfect time to bring a pack of Miller Lite.

[David Hoppin]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And when things go from low key to legendary, which they always do with Rodman, everyone knows it's Miller time. Yeah. For 50 years, beer lovers have trusted Mirror light for a taste they can depend on. It's just a really n time. And you know What? It's got 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. So I don't feel weighed down. I can keep this lean, mean physique I got going on.

[David Hoppin]

Yeah. I mean, you guys like to be legendary, but you also want to watch your bodies work.

[Conan O'Brien]

Calorie counters. Cheers to legendary moments with Miller Lite. Great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com conan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some mirror light pretty much anywhere they soap beer. Hey, it's Miller time. Celebrate responsibility. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. This is a paid ad by BetterHelp. Now, financial stress. Yeah, let me get specific here. Can affect more than just money and how it shows up emotionally or mentally. BetterHelp connects people with fully qualified therapists who can help them to manage the emotional Weight that comes with financial stress. Financial stress is a main cause of emotional problems. It really is. So financial stress extends beyond on a budget. It can disrupt sleep, increase anxiety, and contribute to tension in relationships. BetterHelp works with over 30,000 fully qualified therapists. Short questionnaire matches you with someone based on your needs. So you can focus on your goals instead of navigating the search process. The old traditional way of finding a therapist, very difficult. You hear from someone or a friend of a friend, you go, it's not a good fit. But how do you extricate yourself? None of that happens with better health. With more than 12 years of experience and an industry leading match rate, BetterHelp typically gets it right the first time. If it's not the right fit, you can switch at any time. BetterHelp has served over 6 million people globally and may help if financial stress is weighing on you. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] Conan that's betterhelp.com Conan Conan. Well, here's the thing. Cause you talk about comedy and these influences, but I do love the studio. And then I heard you talking a while ago about how much the Larry Sanders show meant to you and I thought, oh, this is interesting to me because I love the Larry Sanders show and there's a similarity in between Larry Sanders and the studio. They're both about the business. And there are specific ways if you're in show business that you can pick apart certain things and say, well, that's not really how it is. And for me, watching Larry Sanders back when I was doing a late night show and there was one writer on the show.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Right, right, right, right.

[Conan O'Brien]

And Larry would be, yeah, I would see things that if you're in it, you can pick apart. But those are irrelevant because they're getting the essential soul of it. Right.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Also, I think too, if you did like an exact version of what it's like, it would be kind of boring.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It would be like, it's like, oh, we're in a car, we're driving to the lot and we're going to talk to a director. And in real life, they show up, they say hi for a few minutes and then they leave. But we want people to watch it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. And also I always want to believe when I'm backstage that there will be showgirls, two people in a horse costume.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Classic. I wanted to do a late night show that had that backstage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that almost influenced what kind of comedy we did. I Wanted horse costumes, I wanted people dressed as soldiers, I wanted masturbating bears, I wanted masturbating bears. I wanted all that shit backstage, you

[Ike Barinholtz]

know, Shout out Brian Stack, by the way. Brian Stack, Conan o' Brien legend Brian Stack.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah, he is. And you know what? I had a very sweet moment with Stephen Colbert. Cause Brian Stack, one of the great all time writers and performers, writer performers on my show, who did so many great characters and was so prolific and was such a voice of the show. He went to work for Stephen Colbert after we shut our thing down and has done great work for him for many years. I went, this is a couple of months ago, I'm in New York, I call Stephen, he says, come on by. And I went, and I'm hanging out in Stephen's office and we're chatting for a long time about different things. Late night war story. And then he had to get to rehearsal and he was gonna show me out or have his assistant show me out. And so we leave his office and there's a flat screen up and on the screen they're rehearsing a comedy piece and it's Brian Stack wearing a ridiculous costume with his wife Miriam. Incredibly talented Miriam and incredible actress, really funny and such a great, such a big part of our late night show as well. They're both on screen going like, now you listen here, blah, blah, blah. And they're wearing ridiculous costumes. And I'm looking at it and I realize I was looking at that in 1993 on the screen as I went down to my late night show. Here it is 20, 25 at the time and nothing's changed. Now you listen here, I'm gonna tell you right now, you know, we're the watermelon heads or whatever and Colbert and I just lost it. Like there's no escaping that face on a rehearsal. And it will exist forever. But I have to talk to you about this. You had this experience. Yes, because you. A threesome. You.

[Ike Barinholtz]

No, no. What? What is it?

[Conan O'Brien]

It says here a sixum.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Well, there was, there was.

[Conan O'Brien]

You had a threesome twice. I see you had a threesome twice, guy.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Different days, separated by many hours.

[Conan O'Brien]

The math. Okay, yeah, it says here six. Six. You know what? I love my research. Says here six cocks. Yeah, six cocks. No, it's three cocks. Six. Three veg. Okay, I'm telling you what ha.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Your researcher is incredibly base. Oh, and there I have to say, yeah, three cocks.

[Conan O'Brien]

Drawings too.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Let me see. Oh, that is me.

[Conan O'Brien]

That is me.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Okay, take it back. The Guy's working hard.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're giving high fiving the cameraman.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Well, it's my dad. He's my friend. And he also happens to be doing a great job.

[Conan O'Brien]

Get it, son, get it. Just like I told him. You know what? Tell Alan that he's mentioned in the podcast.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Gotta listen to the whole way.

[Conan O'Brien]

You gotta listen to the whole thing. When you get to the Sixum where you're filming me and you're listening with

[Ike Barinholtz]

mom, just do me a favor and be like I'm losing the signal or something. Plus 15.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know what happened there. Did they say six em? No, no, he said Wrexham.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Wrexham.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wrexham.

[Ike Barinholtz]

They talked about Ryan Reynolds football team.

[David Hoppin]

It's wrong with you?

[Conan O'Brien]

What's wrong? What's wrong with me? It's him. He's the one that did it. I went there. I went there.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I apologize.

[Conan O'Brien]

So there's this thing that I heard about years and years ago. One of the early, early travel things I did, travel shows I did was I went to. I can't remember. I think it was related to some kind of promotion. They were gonna have our late night show appear in some European markets. They asked me to go to Amsterdam, and I also think maybe Cologne, Germany. And so I traveled there and thought, well, we should record this. So we're in Amsterdam. And I only found out later on that there I think I was stopped by someone on the street who said, hey, Conan, we're a bunch of Americans who are doing improv. Which was how I began was in improv, not stand up. He said, we're doing improv here in Amsterdam. Can you stop by? And I remember saying, I'll try to. And then I couldn't because we were busy shooting all this stuff. And also I just didn't want to go, which I didn't have to mention.

[Eduardo Perez]

Why do that?

[Conan O'Brien]

Why not just say I was too busy?

[Ike Barinholtz]

No, but I get it. You're in a foreign country, you're working, saying to someone you want to watch some improv? It can be a tall order, especially for someone who's done improv. But it was very mean what you said. Please continue.

[Conan O'Brien]

But I'm remembering now how not busy I was.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Well, now you're just gilding the mean Lily. I would say, no, I have my

[Conan O'Brien]

research to put my schedule in. Two whole days of nothing to do in Amsterdam in 1999. Yeah, just nothing. Nothing. It's a tundra. It's a vast.

[Ike Barinholtz]

All I have is wake up and see the Matrix.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, see the Matrix twice, it says, and Then question mark, question mark. Nothing else to do.

[Ike Barinholtz]

They wrote that down.

[Conan O'Brien]

I did not have. I didn't have time to go do it. But then I later found out from Seth Meyers that he was part of that troupe at that time. And I'm thinking, I wish I had gone by and met everybody, because that'd be cool. And see what they were up to. And it's this thing called Boom Chicago that's in Amsterdam. And you did this?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes, I replaced Seth, basically. Basically.

[Eduardo Perez]

Right, right.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Like it was. It was like 1994. Like these three American guys are backpacking through Europe and they love Amsterdam and they're like, this is the best city. The comedy is terrible. The comedy scene in Amsterdam at the time was still like old European cabaret stuff where it's like, you know, Hans and Yop. And in the second act, he will wear a dress.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And it was like, what the fuck?

[Conan O'Brien]

It always ends with, let's go buy some wooden shoes.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

It was the blow to every sketch.

[Ike Barinholtz]

A lot of clogs. A lot of clogs. Clogs. Very clog heavy. And so they're like, what if we opened a Second City style theater that was some sketch, some music, some improv and stuff. And at first it was just like. Like five or six of them in the back of a bar. I believe Miriam Flynn was one of the. Or Tolan was one of the first ones, rather.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yep. Later Miriam Stack.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Later Miriam Stack. And by the time I got there, it was like a big theater. Like. Like, it was like a 250, 300 seat dinner theater. And the appeal if you were in Chicago for me was like, oh, you don't need a day job anymore. Because I had a horrible day job that was killing me. And then at night I would do improv and to go. I'd never been to Europe. I was 22 years old and I went and I had a threesome every day I was there for two years. That's like 700. That's like 21, 000 sexual experiences I had with all different people. A lot of cops, a lot of.

[Conan O'Brien]

Once you're in it, it doesn't matter.

[Ike Barinholtz]

This was in the 90s, different time. Yeah. Before 9 11. Yeah. And it was. But it was incredible. I got there and I learned how to perform big. Because in Chicago, I was doing a ton of improv in Chicago. And in Chicago you can kind of. You can score without having to go big. In Chicago you can come in and drop a really funny reference. You can play like kind of a Cool character, and you're in a small room, you're gonna get a big laugh. But going there and having to perform for people who don't speak English necessarily or don't understand your reference base at all, that taught me how to, I think, like, be bigger and kind of perform for. For the masses.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I. When I was 22, senior in college and about to graduate, I knew I was like, I don't want to do standup, but I'm very interested in improv. And a lot of people in 1985, I would say, I want to do improv. They didn't know what it was. And so I wrote a letter to. Oh, Bernie Sollins, Bernie Solons. I found out the name Bernie Sahlins. I wrote a letter, and it was this very formal. I wish I had a copy of it, but it was very formal, typed letter that said, Dear Mr. Sahlins, my name's Conan O', Brien, and I'd been President Lampoon, and I've done all this work in comedy, and I wish now to do improv. And I would like to come to Chicago. Is there a way I could join? I didn't know about the classes. I didn't know. And I basically got, like, a form letter back that said I was asking, basically, can I come be a part of the show as opposed to can I move to Chicago, start taking classes, and try and work my way in? I just didn't know what it was all about. I got sort of a form letter back saying, that's not really how it works.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Bernie Sollins just took some of his cigar ashes in an envelope, and there you go. Bernie Zalons has a famous line where he was directing a Second City show or something, and someone was pitching a sketch and another actor was like, yeah, but we kind of did a version of this sketch in the last show. It's kind of the same joke. And Bernie Solz goes, look, there's seven jokes, and it's all about how you tell them.

[Conan O'Brien]

Seven jokes?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. He's like, there's only seven real jokes.

[Conan O'Brien]

There are only five.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It's mind blowing to me. In Chicago, we have a couple extra bonus ones.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, right. Yeah. Sausage. And then. Yeah, the cups. Yeah, and our cups. And then. And sausage.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Big one.

[Conan O'Brien]

But I. Yeah, I was intrigued by that. And so when you guys talk about. I mean, it didn't exist when I was going there, but the idea of being 22 and living in Amsterdam and doing comedy, I would go, I almost want to do that.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Now you can.

[Conan O'Brien]

Like, I At my age, I would want to go and do it now because I can make one phone call.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And you will be in the Boom Chicago cast. They would be thrilled to have you. They're going to have to fire one of the younger current cast members.

[Conan O'Brien]

But you know what? I was gonna say that same saying, and then I realized I don't know what it means, and I've never heard of it before, and that's why I didn't say it. I think it's funny when someone who's established in their career and very old and has, like, really is set financially, goes and takes work away from young people. It's the funniest thing that's funny to me.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And it's a good life lesson for them.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah. Yes.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Work hard or not. It doesn't matter. Someone more famous and rich might come in and take your shit anyway.

[Conan O'Brien]

Like, Conan o' Brien can come in and go, this. Hey, you know what? This amuses me.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Great job you got here. Would be a shame if something happened to it, like, I took it.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm gonna live in the fanciest house in Amsterdam.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It's on a. My house. It's on a boat.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I'm gonna have a big boathouse, and I'm gonna drop by and do some bad improv and you can fucking hit the road. This is. I'm so happy with all these life choices I'm making here. Well, I think that just sounds fantastic.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It was so much fun, and it was a great group. It was, you know, Seth Meyers, I kind of replaced him, but he would come back a lot. His brother Josh Meyers was there. Jordan Peele was there. Jason Sudeikis, Liz Kakowski, Kay Cannon, Jill Benjamin. All these great performers were there. And it was a really great time, too. It was 99, 2000. It was before the Euro, So we used to have the gilder. You were on the Dutch gilder, and it was two gilders to a dollar.

[Conan O'Brien]

Isn't that crazy? I was having leather pouches with gold coins in them.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Leather pouches.

[Conan O'Brien]

You'd be paid by someone tossing you a leather pouch and you'd catch it.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That was basically what it was.

[Conan O'Brien]

Tie it to your saddlebag and go

[Ike Barinholtz]

get on our mule and go back to our village. It was a beautiful. It was really beautiful. This special time.

[Conan O'Brien]

Nice show to you tonight. Here's a sack of gilders.

[Ike Barinholtz]

But we still go back. I took my family there last year and. And it's. Amsterdam is an amazing city. Really. One of the greatest cities in the world. I love it. And that has nothing to do with the abundant legal drugs. That's a separate thing that I love. Has nothing to do with the charm and feel of the city. Yeah, yeah. The drugs, you know, the drugs are good.

[Conan O'Brien]

Which we have now in Los Angeles.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I know you guys have any here?

[Conan O'Brien]

I do have some mu.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Do you ever do that? Do you ever micro. Do you ever do any of that?

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I don't really. For.

[Ike Barinholtz]

For like any moral reasons or. You just. That's what I.

[Conan O'Brien]

It was not. No, nothing I make. I don't have any moral judgment about it at all. I really don't. I just didn't ever feel like it was my thing and. And mostly I've been spending a lifetime trying to understand my mind, so the idea of throwing some cuckoo juice in there didn't appeal to me as much.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You know what I mean?

[Conan O'Brien]

Putting in an accelerant or anything, weird thing in there always felt to me like. No, no, no, I'm. It's everything I can do to get this thing to settle down.

[Ike Barinholtz]

What if I told you by doing it, it could help you understand your mind deeper? Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

What if I don't want to understand it?

[Ike Barinholtz]

What if I'm happy with this level of understanding?

[Conan O'Brien]

Trying to. Trying to get to the grave.

[David Hoppin]

God. My God.

[Conan O'Brien]

I look at the grave the way other a tired person looks at a well made bed. I just want to pull up the soil around me and go night, night.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Soon, my love.

[Conan O'Brien]

Soon, soon. The grave beckons. The grave. Fuck. This is your fault. You know what I believe I blame Ike. I really do.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I blame you too.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because you're an accelerant for this kind of foolishness.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I am. I am.

[Conan O'Brien]

I want to make sure that I. Because we could do this for thousands of hours, you and I, which is the lovely part of having you here. But I want to.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Which is why I should be your friend. Because I know some of your friends in real life and I'm better than them.

[Conan O'Brien]

And guess what? I know who you're talking about. I would rather swap out right when

[Ike Barinholtz]

I say his name. On the count of three. One, two, three. Paul Rudd. Here's what I say about Paul Rudd. He's richer, he's more famous, he's funnier, he's better looking. I am younger and I am more loyal.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, yes.

[Ike Barinholtz]

To my friends.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. Also you know Paul Rudd. And if you're listening, Paul, I'm speaking directly to you. He comes and goes with the tide when Paul's tide is up. You know what I mean? Yes. I don't hear from, you know, but God forbid there's a setback or a

[Ike Barinholtz]

movie that doesn't quite hit, then he comes running back.

[Conan O'Brien]

He comes running back. He's like, hey, Conan. Conan, what are you doing? What are you doing? Conan, what are you doing? Conan, what are you doing? But then the second things start to hit again for Paul, as they always do, because he just doesn't age and he's perpetually successful, then he's gone again.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You won't have that problem with me. Nothing hits, right. I will always be there. I'm a loyal. I'm a loyal friend.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what? Your career is consistently ice cold. Just. Just.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, it's just never interesting or good. And that's why I'm ice cold.

[Conan O'Brien]

Ice cold. Well, frozen. Frozen. Just absolutely frozen.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, I know. You got. Oh, I got a Critics Choice Award for my character in the studio. I bet you. You came. He came in. Did you see what he was wearing when he came in? He had his Critics Choice Award made into a necklace, and he had had

[Ike Barinholtz]

26 pounds by the neck crank.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Listen, I'm.

[Conan O'Brien]

It was like Flavor Flav's clock, and he's. That shows the kids I know what time it is.

[David Melmedz]

You were just about to get the word out on whatever project. I just started shitting on him.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sorry. I was about to. I know I was about to do the professional part. We have to just take a. A second here and acknowledge you're hilarious as Sal Saperstein in the studio. You were so funny in that role. And it's funny because you had a very specific idea for who this guy is. And I know there are a bunch of execs, many execs come to you and say, oh, that's based on me, isn't it?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because, yes, they're all self involved, but they all see themselves in what you've created with Sal, which says a lot

[Ike Barinholtz]

about them, by the way. There's definitely times where there's guys and ladies that I know who are studio execs who will say that, like, oh, you stole that from me. I'm like, yes. And then there's some that are like, I know you got that from me. And I'm like, I didn't.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I'm struggling to remember your name right now.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

But I did not take that from you. But I think people see what they want in the part, and it's really based a lot off of my friend Eric Byers, who's an executive at Universal, except For he doesn't do drugs and is very responsible. But they love the. Some of them, they. The work isn't exciting, making the movies exciting, but they want to. Where are we going to dinner afterwards? And that's like my cornerstone of like, where are we going to go to dinner? Where are we going to dinner tonight, by the way?

[David Hoppin]

Yeah, that's me too.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, well, dinner isn't for. I mean, it's not even noon yet. Let me do this.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Hungry.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I eat. I'm from Madrid, so I eat at 10 o' clock at night. And I always.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I'm forgetting you were born and raised. You immigrated here when you were 19.

[Conan O'Brien]

I have the face of Madrid. Madrid on. Look at my face. It's so Madrid. You're real. Yeah. No, no, but it's always 10 o' clock at night. It's always paella.

[Eduardo Perez]

That's what.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, always 10. Always paella.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I just got back from Italy, by the way. We were shooting the studio in Venice for two weeks.

[Conan O'Brien]

How great is that?

[Ike Barinholtz]

It was amazing.

[Conan O'Brien]

That is an experience you're having that makes me so jealous that you'd be part of something where they'd say, your job is to go live in Venice and yeah, you're working. But then I'm sure there are times where you're not working and it's time to go watch someone blow glass and drink really good wine.

[Ike Barinholtz]

So just be clear. This is Venice Beach.

[Conan O'Brien]

Fuck.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. They had me stand at a motor in off Lincoln.

[David Hoppin]

Also, you have a travel show. Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about.

[Conan O'Brien]

I just remember. You know what? I just remembered who I am. I thought I was Gallagher too, which is Gallagher's brother, who I think is dead.

[Ike Barinholtz]

One of the. One of them is not with us anymore.

[Conan O'Brien]

Neither one is with us now. They both went. I think Gallagher II went to mourn Gallagher and fell into the grave.

[Ike Barinholtz]

This just sets up Gallagher 3. This is finally his time to shine.

[Conan O'Brien]

Then Gallagher III was there and was like, I should probably pay my respects.

[Ike Barinholtz]

No watermelon explodes out of the grave.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, what I'm saying is, I guess what I'm thinking about is when I do these travel shows, it's go, go, go all the time. But if I was playing a part and they said, need you for six hours, that would be very different.

[Ike Barinholtz]

There was a couple times that never

[Conan O'Brien]

happens on the travel show.

[Ike Barinholtz]

There was a couple times where I was not needed and I got to go explore Venice and I saw them blowing the glass and I went and drank a ton of spritzes. I had dinner. I had dinner with Michael Keaton. Oh, wow, That's a big one.

[Conan O'Brien]

What was he. Was he there as part of the show?

[Ike Barinholtz]

He was sitting with his girlfriend at a different table, and I was sitting next to them, and I kept saying, michael, it's Ike from the studio. And he didn't acknowledge me at any point, but we were in the same restaurant.

[Conan O'Brien]

This is the same thing you did to me at the pizza restaurant.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Well, no, he. No, you actively said, I want him gone. Michael completely ignored me the entire time.

[Conan O'Brien]

Good, good.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Like I was. And I was next to them.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what it's called in LA when someone's bothering you at a table? The baron holds. No. The other day, I was at an In n Out, and I'm just trying to enjoy my shake, and this guy gave me the full barinholtz. I don't know who the he was. It turns out it was Michael Keaton. Hey, Conan.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Conan, remember me?

[Conan O'Brien]

I was in Batman and I was like, what do you give me the best barinholtz for?

[Ike Barinholtz]

I'm trying to enjoy my shake.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm trying. I'm trying to sit at a table alone and enjoy my shake at In n Out, and you're giving me the full barinholtz. Do you rem. I mean, this is who you are.

[Ike Barinholtz]

This is my namesake, and I'm fine with that. And it's something that my daughters will have to kind of carry with them throughout their life.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wasn't even booked today. And he comes in and gives us the full barinholtz.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I'm here. I'm here. Good luck getting rid of me now. I'm part of the show now.

[David Melmedz]

He lives here.

[Conan O'Brien]

Jesus. I want to talk about this new project.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

You love trivia.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I love trivia.

[Conan O'Brien]

You always loved trivia. You're very good at trivia, as you've proven on these different shows.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Are you good at trivia?

[Conan O'Brien]

Here's the thing about me. I don't. I know. I think I have. My brain knows a lot of different strange things it shouldn't know. But I don't have command of it. Let's find out. Meaning I don't think I could just go bang, bang, bang.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Let's find out. Cause I brought some.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't recall, you know? And I'll be like, that's not true.

[David Hoppin]

You would be. Let's try it at trivia.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Here we go. So this is just Trivial Pursuit. I think this is like Genius three. So I'm just going to run through these, what city's Lord and Taylor boasts the Wanamaker grand, the second largest pipe organ in the world.

[David Hoppin]

Yep.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I think I know this.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know this at all. Wait, say it again.

[Ike Barinholtz]

What's what City's Lord and Taylor boasts the Wanamaker grand, the second largest pipe organ in the the world.

[Conan O'Brien]

I have no idea.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I'm almost sure it's Chicago because my Aunt Libby used to work at Lauren and Taylor.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wow. Well, okay, so the guy from Chicago picks a Chicago.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Wrong. It's Philadelphia.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Okay. What hip hop mogul mused? I feel safe in white because deep down inside I'm an angel.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, I'm going to go with Flavor Flav. That is just because we came up earlier.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That came up earlier. No, the answer is a dear friend of mine, Sean Puffy Combs.

[Conan O'Brien]

I know you are in a documentary.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, yeah. But just for a minute.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Giving him the advice, whatever you're doing, do it some more.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Who became the first?

[Conan O'Brien]

Look at him. Move on. Anyway, next question.

[Ike Barinholtz]

We'll get out of that part.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know. Lauren Taylor, John Puffy Combs, who became

[Ike Barinholtz]

the first female British royal to walk instead of ride in the family in a family funeral procession in 2002? 2000 British Female Royal.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, it's not Fergie. We know that. It ain't Fergie, cuz she hates walking. She's just a little fun. Fact. I know about two.

[Ike Barinholtz]

She was on tour with the Black ip.

[Conan O'Brien]

So it was. It's not her.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It's not. It's definitely not her.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, but she is a royal.

[Ike Barinholtz]

She's a royal.

[Conan O'Brien]

As there are many. Half the people in the Black Eyed Peas.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I don't know.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know her at all. Royal pain in the ass, if you know what I'm talking about. Let's see which royal was. Well, it wouldn't be Queen Elizabeth. Elizabeth. There's no way she's breaking tradition. She's very traditional.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You think she's gonna get on a horse? Oh, no. She's walking instead of riding in the procession. She ain't walking.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, she ain't walking.

[David Melmedz]

And.

[Conan O'Brien]

And Anne isn't walking.

[David Hoppin]

I think Anne's walking.

[Conan O'Brien]

You think Anne's walking?

[David Hoppin]

Anne's a walker.

[Ike Barinholtz]

The answer is Princess Anne.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yay. Incredible.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. How many?

[Conan O'Brien]

These are terrible questions.

[Ike Barinholtz]

This is Trivial Pursuits.

[Conan O'Brien]

Question.

[Ike Barinholtz]

How many of every six stutters are male?

[Conan O'Brien]

All. Well, I'm gonna go with five.

[David Melmedz]

Five is the answer.

[Conan O'Brien]

What do you know that.

[Ike Barinholtz]

What are you, like a stuttering enthusiast? Which grand Slam singles title had Monica Selles failed to win during the 20th century. Which one did she not win?

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, you have, first of all, to know all of them.

[David Hoppin]

I'm just gonna say Australian Open.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Australian Open.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm gonna say US Open, Wimbledon.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Last question.

[Conan O'Brien]

God damn it.

[Ike Barinholtz]

This is about a friend of yours. Yours. What hugely successful video was Joe Francis inspired to make after viewing a flasher tape sent in for his ban from television video? This is your dear friend, Joe Francis.

[Conan O'Brien]

We are not friends. I.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Former business partners.

[Conan O'Brien]

Business partners.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

I saw what he was doing, and I wanted in financially in a big way. And then I did everything I could to provide moral support.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You made a lot of money.

[Conan O'Brien]

I wish we were better friends.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

What's it again? What's the name of the show?

[Ike Barinholtz]

I believe this Girl's Gone Wild.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And is Girls Gone Wild.

[David Hoppin]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

We have a clip. Listen, sorry. If you had a Girls Gone Wild clip, I would be.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I'm like Paul Rudd, but instead of macking me, it's Girls Gone Wild.

[Conan O'Brien]

All right, so let's get to your new project.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Here we go.

[Conan O'Brien]

Funny you ask. A weekly comedy trivia podcast. And this is. This sounds like a labor of love for you.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It is. I. I. For years, people were like, you should do a podcast. And I was like, I don't think the medium is going to work. And a couple weeks ago, I was like, the medium works. Right, so let's get into this. Now. We're not on the ground floor, but we're on, like, the 80th floor, right? No, I. I wanted to figure out a fun podcast, and I. I just couldn't think of, like, a fun hook. And then I was like, oh, my God, what if I just wrote trivia questions for my friends?

[Conan O'Brien]

You write the trivia.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, I write the trivia. Not because. Not for me. I have a producer who writes the questions for me. So I don't see the questions on our system. But for my guests, what I will do is I will take three subjects you know a little bit about. So for you, what are some things that you wouldn't consider yourself an expert on but you know a little bit about?

[Conan O'Brien]

I know a lot about the Beatles, about probably American history, 19th, 20th century, that kind of stuff.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That's good. Sorry. Sidetracked. You remember the last time I was on your show was Beatles Week and Paul Simon saying, here comes this, here comes the sun to me and you. It was a deeply romantic moment.

[David Hoppin]

What?

[Conan O'Brien]

That was not my show.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That was.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're thinking.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Your show, my friend. No, you were here. I was here. Paul Simon was right here, actually. No, you were here. Paul Simon was here. I was right here, and I think

[Conan O'Brien]

Paul Simon was in my lap. I remember that very clearly.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He kept calling you Garfunkel.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He kept saying, are you Art?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. And you kept interjecting, and he said, what's. You give me the full Barinholtz here. Remember that?

[Ike Barinholtz]

I was. That was funny.

[Conan O'Brien]

He didn't even know who you were, but he knew. He didn't know you were Ike Barinholtz. He said, what's this fucking guy giving me the Barinholtz for? I'm trying to tell a story.

[Ike Barinholtz]

So you would.

[Conan O'Brien]

Come on.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I would write questions about the Beatles, American history, other things, and we would come on, have a fun conversation, and I will sporadically ask you trivia questions, and then you will ask me trivia questions, and then we do a big speed round.

[Conan O'Brien]

So the guest shows up with their own trivia questions?

[Ike Barinholtz]

No, my producer writes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Your producer comes up with them.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

This sounds really fun.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It's very, very fun. The reason I'm here is to ask if you will do mine.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't have time. I don't have. I don't have time.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Okay?

[Conan O'Brien]

Not just today, but I don't have any time. I've never been this busy since I was in Amsterdam. That's when.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That's 27 years ago.

[Conan O'Brien]

I feel like.

[David Hoppin]

David.

[Conan O'Brien]

Boom, Chicago.

[David Hoppin]

It looks like it's pretty.

[Conan O'Brien]

There's no time.

[David Melmedz]

Okay, we'll figure it wide open.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Sounds like there's a little bit of a discrepancy here between what you're saying to the church.

[Conan O'Brien]

David. Remember, I have that thing.

[Ike Barinholtz]

What is the thing, David? What is the thing?

[David Melmedz]

Never been more clear.

[Conan O'Brien]

He's just swiping through not just months, but years. He's just. He has a whole year on one page and he's just swiping. I see nothing. I would be honored to do your show.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I mean, it really is.

[Conan O'Brien]

I, you know, I so enjoy you. You are so funny. You are such a good fellow. You are always hilarious on my show, all the times you came on. So, yes, the answer is yes. Yes, a thousand times.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And I feel like we are making really good headway into the friendship arena. This is the real reason I came here.

[Conan O'Brien]

Be careful with this guy. When, say, this guy, I mean me, yeah. I am a slippery eel. You will probably never hear from me again. When I'm here in the zone, I'm all heat and yes, yes, yes, yes. But then the minute you get out of here. I'm like, what's with that guy? And then an hour later, who was even on today, right?

[Ike Barinholtz]

You completely disassociate within an hour of finishing the Batman.

[David Melmedz]

Within an hour.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know who was on. And it's David's job to bring me seven baked pheasants and I just eat them.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And Oron, you put the napkin over your head so that God doesn't see your shame.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Doesn't see my shame. No, I would. I would love to. Come on. I would. And I do think we should be pals.

[Eduardo Perez]

Oh, my God.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I wasn't expecting that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Woo. Now, are you up in Santa Barbara a lot?

[Ike Barinholtz]

We like to go there a couple times a year. I'm sure you have a house there. We. I have seven houses there that's really building out.

[Conan O'Brien]

I just bought Oprah's house and kicked her out against her will. I bought it out from under her and I said, you've got an hour.

[Ike Barinholtz]

But she's squatting now. She's actively squatting.

[Conan O'Brien]

She's roaming around. She's. Yeah, she's hanging out in the garage.

[Ike Barinholtz]

She's roaming around.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. What the fuck? She said, I didn't know. Obra said this. I didn't know legally someone could buy your house without you letting them buy and. But you know what I did? I have a lot of money from these charity gigs I do. I clean up and then I just buy rich people's houses and tell them to leave. So you can stay in one of my 15 homes.

[Ike Barinholtz]

We'll take you up on that. That would save me some hotel because we love it up there. We love that Santa Barbara. What a beautiful, beautiful.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, let's not do an ad for Santa Barbara.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It's about a 90 minute minute drive from LA.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're there in no time.

[Ike Barinholtz]

There's a beautiful downtown.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And don't forget the Cherry Blossom Festival.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, let's move on. I don't know how this guy from the tourism bureau got here, but.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Just an enthusiast.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Sir, I wish you the best of luck with your new podcast. I will. Come on. I will be happy to come on. And just delighted to have you today. This was. Yeah, this is just not work. I don't know what to call this, but it is not work.

[Ike Barinholtz]

An easy model, right?

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I don't say what day it is. I like to create the illusion that it's happening as people are hearing it. It's a good. You know what? Just having a fun Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday in 2026, 27, 28, 29. You know what I mean?

[Ike Barinholtz]

This was a real honor. You are the funniest person of my generation.

[Conan O'Brien]

Jesus. Let's expand it a little, okay? Why just your generation? Okay, You've seen some of these, quote, funny people from previous generations. Not so funny.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That's actually true.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah, I'll look at them all. Let's just click it to be a little bigger. All generations, thank you very much. I got what I wanted. Mike Barenholtz.

[David Hoppin]

Okay, I have to tell you, I

[Ike Barinholtz]

was just looking on ebay, where I

[Conan O'Brien]

go for all kinds of things I love.

[David Hoppin]

And there it was.

[Matt Gourley]

That hologram trading card.

[Eduardo Perez]

One of the rarest.

[Ike Barinholtz]

The last one I needed for my set.

[Conan O'Brien]

Shiny like the designer handbag of my dreams. One of a kind.

[David Hoppin]

Ebay had it.

[Conan O'Brien]

And now everyone's asking, ooh, where'd you get your windshield wipers?

[Matt Gourley]

Ebay has all the parts that fit my car.

[Conan O'Brien]

No more annoying, just beautiful.

[David Hoppin]

Millions of finds, each with a story. EBay, things people love.

[Conan O'Brien]

And, Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual, Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[David Hoppin]

Hey, everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Okay, this is part three of Blaygate Aaron Blair's attempt, and this is to fraudulently use IRS loopholes to bankroll his childish fantasies. And we have Mr. David Melmedz here with us. And you, are you a lawyer?

[Eduardo Perez]

I am, yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Because that's what we hired you to do. Yes, but you might have been here to fix the academy. See? And we just hired you. That's pro.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Anyway, let's get back into this. What I think is a major scandal roiling our podcast.

[Eduardo Perez]

So what are we talking about? Edibles?

[Conan O'Brien]

I would like Disneyland.

[David Hoppin]

Can I write all that off? Anything I mentioned on this podcast, Can I write it off based on Blaze Logic?

[Eduardo Perez]

Maybe based on Blaze Logic. Yeah, maybe based on the law.

[Conan O'Brien]

And again, I'm not a.

[Eduardo Perez]

Let me just. I am not a. A tax expert or an accountant. So this is just.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. But why did I bring you in?

[Eduardo Perez]

I. I actually. No, no, I. I have a cursory Sort of understanding of what we're doing here, because I also am familiar with the tax.

[Conan O'Brien]

This is ridiculous.

[David Melmedz]

He's going to say interesting things like,

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm trying to understand exactly how fission works. I got a squirrel here. Can you help me out? This is for the listener. Well, squirrel, I know about nuts and hiding them for the weather. This is. Don't know much about fishing, but here goes.

[Eduardo Perez]

This is. This is my protecting the myself and the show. So if someone hears this and said, oh, I'm going to start writing off X, Y and Z.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Eduardo Perez]

I'm just saying, I mean, kids don't

[Conan O'Brien]

do this at home kind of thing.

[Eduardo Perez]

Do not do it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, correct.

[Eduardo Perez]

So personal expenses that are not related to the podcast. Podcast you cannot write off. So if you're bringing edibles. I think I heard that segment for. For Conan. Right?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Eduardo Perez]

That would probably work more into production than on air.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Eduardo Perez]

So. And where production costs can affect Conan. And I am the opinion that we are here to manage Conan.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Right.

[Conan O'Brien]

It could eat into. Yeah. You know, if it weren't for you and for Blay, I don't think I'd make it in this business. But through your wise counsel, though, you're clearly not an expert in anything. And through Blaze, incredible work of buying these doodads.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And shoving them into the conversation.

[Eduardo Perez]

Right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Like with a crowbar. I don't know that I would have a career at all.

[Eduardo Perez]

I think that's why we. That's why we're here. No, so I'm saying, Blay, maybe I think you have to separate yourself into. When you are bringing something on the show. Are you in your role as a producer or as an on air personality?

[Conan O'Brien]

Can I ask you a specific question?

[Eduardo Perez]

You can.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. And are you a producer? I call myself a producer. What is your title? I don't know.

[David Hoppin]

What do you mean you don't know the title? Your title.

[Conan O'Brien]

I swear to God, I thought you were here to get lunch.

[David Hoppin]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

See, I kept wondering, where's the lunch? Wait, I just want to. I thought this kid was getting his food. Can I ask Melman a specific question? Okay, so like for instance, we talked about how I watch Bane clips on a plane.

[Eduardo Perez]

Great.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Which I love Bane. I watch a lot of Bane clips. Big fan of Bane. Now that's been established on the podcast as a bit. Okay, now can I buy a. This is a real question. Can I buy a Bane mask as a followup and write that off? Because we. It's been established on the podcast, can I buy a Bane Mask.

[Eduardo Perez]

I. I would say maybe.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think it should all be submitted ahead of time. I think what might be a problem here, Blay, and I say this with all respect. Respect, is that you are this untethered child running around having these ideas and swiping a credit card. And I think that's potentially problematic.

[Eduardo Perez]

Could be.

[Conan O'Brien]

What I think you should do is you should go to Adam, I'm invoking you, and you should say, here's my idea. I want to buy a bane mask. They're 9.999 and I think it would be a good segment. And then you can think about it. Maybe you can approach me and we can have a discussion.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I totally agree. And the whole thing, I mean, I think we have established. I think that Blaze is committing fraud. But the one what I am hearing though, from David and David, tell me if I'm wrong, is it's very like tail wagging the dog, right? Like it should start as the show wants to do X, Y and Z. So let's go out and buy the necessary supplies, curiosities, whatever it is, so that we can make that happen, so we can execute on that. But to do it the other way around where it's just we're buying a bunch of random curiosities and let's see if the show can do that. Feels like it's in violation of whatever.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yes, I think that is exactly. I think that's a very good way to articulate. Not to say that what you're doing doing hurts the show. I'm just saying if you're looking to write off certain items, probably go about it the way that Adam described it.

[Conan O'Brien]

So I guess my. My next question is, can I have a company card to do that?

[David Melmedz]

I was gonna ask if you had a corp card.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't, but I would re. It would help, I think, with this situation. Don't you guys think? I think I can put that sword on a company card.

[David Hoppin]

I. I think you need a real accountant.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I took for all company company card flat. No, no, wait a second. There's no way you're getting a company card. Wait a second. Soda had a company card. And put a bunch on. Has and puts lunches on it. Has. She has one to this day. Lunches on it. I sure do. So first of all, I knew that was the deal when I hired Sona. That's what comes with Sona Thinner contract. No, I mean, she's like Zorba the Greek. You don't. You know, she needs to have access to all the things that make her Sona. I. I think it's a little presumptuous to think that you should be entitled to those same things. I just do. I'm just saying, like, okay, I bought a big Medusa skull. Okay, you're not helping yourself.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Better and better.

[David Hoppin]

It's the first thing you have to write them off.

[Conan O'Brien]

But a Medusa skull, you have forever. Sonis just has a lunch. What do you mean a Medusa skull you have forever? No, you don't. Yes, I do. You have it until you get married and she throws that shit out. But lunch, you just eat once and you're done. I mean, this is.

[David Hoppin]

Lunches, they are. We talk business.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Can I ask the question? So we have David here. We should take advantage of it. What?

[Conan O'Brien]

Are.

[Eduardo Perez]

Are.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Are there things that we should be writing off that we're all that we're not?

[Eduardo Perez]

Well, let me. Okay, so lunches. Lunches. Lunches. Yes.

[David Hoppin]

I do you guys a favor.

[Eduardo Perez]

I would say anything to manage Conan can be written off.

[Conan O'Brien]

When did I become. I'm sorry? When did I become. You're on ITIS B. No, no, no, no, no, no. You're on it. When did I become this virulent stranger that must be contained. Oh, no. A. Conan got loose from the lab. That is.

[Eduardo Perez]

That's the way the IRS sees you are on air talent and we are here to manage you.

[Conan O'Brien]

So anything we do to manage the IRS knows that I'm a toxic. I love it.

[Eduardo Perez]

Well, you're okay. So to answer your question, Adam, anything that sort of costs to create, produce, protect the ship show is deductible, right? Anything. Sort of personal performance, the consequences of wrongdoing, we cannot.

[Conan O'Brien]

Consequences of wrongdoing?

[Eduardo Perez]

Well, meaning you're bringing a mask on the show for. We have to say what. What's the intent? What's the. If you're bringing it on to have a potential write off. I would say if you're. If we've discussed the segment right first and then you bring it on to sort of you, then I'm going to say maybe so.

[Conan O'Brien]

Maybe so. Bain mask might be something I could do.

[Eduardo Perez]

It might, but I would probably bring that up first. Then just bring it on and start talking about it.

[Conan O'Brien]

But don't you want to. Can I just ask, why not just pay for the Bane mask? It's. Why do you need Uncle Sam's help? You're well compensated. And you should take pride in spending your own money on something as precious as a Bane mask. You. You shouldn't need to invoke some Weird codicil that you think you found in the IRS code to do it. Why not just be a real man? And when you buy a Bane mask, own it. You know, in the true tradition of being a man. Like a real man. When you go to buy, you know, your. Whatever, it's a bumblebee head. Or when you go to buy, you know, oh, it's, you know, the vision from Marvel Comics. I want to buy his panties. Why can't you just be a real man and say, this is what I want to feel good about me and buy it yourself? He's an Android. He doesn't wear panties.

[Eduardo Perez]

I think just to summarize in terms of what the. So these are sort of personal lifestyle expenses which are not deductible, I think.

[Conan O'Brien]

And so that's.

[Eduardo Perez]

I'm putting it into.

[Conan O'Brien]

Unless.

[Eduardo Perez]

Unless we.

[Conan O'Brien]

Unless. Unless. And this is Blay, you'd have to accept this. Okay. But if you could prove that this was an illness of his. A deficiency.

[Eduardo Perez]

Sure.

[Conan O'Brien]

If you could prove that this was some kind of a handicap, something he can't help because something stunted, something never developed, like a medical.

[Eduardo Perez]

Like a medical expense.

[Conan O'Brien]

Neurological. But he never grew into a real. A real adult. And he's trapped in this cycle of just more toys and more ephemera and more bullshit. And he just won't break free of that and won't go out into the world and really realize himself as an adult. He can't. Then this could be possibly his version of a wheelchair or crutches or a special seat that helps him sit on the toilet because he. You can't make a poopy without it. Could Conan get a tax credit for employing. Yes. Yes. Okay, I think we cracked it here, and I think we've been in the red for a while now, which means we've gone way too long. We'll probably have to lose some of your talking, Blay, where you defend yourself.

[David Hoppin]

I do think the real criminal here is Blay's mom. I think that she's. I think Mary Blair needs to go to prison. I think she is an absolute criminal.

[Conan O'Brien]

I agree. Yeah. By. And look, we wonder why he's infantilized and she's sending his taxes to TurboTax. When's she going to diaper you next? You know, she insists on doing it. She wants to make sure that my bottom is talcumed properly. So, yeah, if I could write them off.

[Eduardo Perez]

If I could write off the diapers investigation.

[Conan O'Brien]

Can I write off the diapers investigation into Mary Blair? Well, I'm going to end this right now. Blay I find you guilty and no corporate card. Agree with that.

[Eduardo Perez]

Thank you.

[Matt Gourley]

Conan o' Brien Needs a Friend with Conan o' Brien Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley Produced by me, Matt Gourley Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow Theme song by the White Stripes Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away, Jimmy. Our Supervising Producer is Aaron Blair and our Association Associate Talent Producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail] Conan and if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a Friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm just going to say it. There's a Hyundai Hybrid for everyone.

[David Hoppin]

There sure is.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yep. The Santa Fe Hybrid SUV seats up to 7. Tucson Hybrid SUV features standard H track all wheel drive. The Sonata Hybrid Limited Sedan has exceptional performance and handling and get up to an EPA estimated 52 highway miles per gallon with the sporty Elantra Hybrid Limited sedan. All Hyundai hybrids come with first class safety features, advanced tech, stellar design and America's best win warranty.

[David Hoppin]

It's a good one.

[Conan O'Brien]

It is a good one. Hard to beat all those stats. America's best Warranty claims based on total package of warranty programs. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call. I'm gonna give you a phone number. Write it down.

[David Hoppin]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

562-31-4603 for more details. And Doug, there's nowhere I wouldn't go to help someone customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual. Even if it means sitting front row at a comedy show.

[David Hoppin]

Hey everyone, check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, no. We help people customize and save on car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent. Liberty, Liberty, Liberty, Liberty.