Podcast Summary: "Jesse Eisenberg Returns"

Introduction and Holiday Reflections (00:03 - 02:13)

The episode opens with a brief advertisement segment featuring Conan endorsing FedEx One Rate for small businesses. Shortly after, Jesse Eisenberg joins Conan on the show, accompanied by regular co-hosts Sona Mofsesi and Matt Gourley. The atmosphere is festive as the group embraces the holiday season.

Holiday Traditions and Sentimentality (02:13 - 07:05)

Conan initiates a conversation about Christmas traditions with Matt, Sona, and Jesse. Matt expresses his love for Christmas, leading to a humorous exchange about holiday decorations. Conan shares a sentimental story about receiving a "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" Christmas ornament from Zach Braff, highlighting his genuine appreciation for meaningful gestures.

Notable Quote:

• Conan (05:41): "I don't want to be that house."

Discussion on Seasonality and Tinsel (07:05 - 10:34)

The hosts delve into the topic of holiday decorations, specifically tinsel on Christmas trees. Sona humorously declares her disdain for tinsel, while Conan shares his preference for a non-tinsel adorned tree, comparing tinsel to "shredded aluminum." The conversation lightens with playful banter about pranking dogs with fake bows made of tinsel.

Notable Quote:

• Conan (06:25): "I agree. And also, pets often eat it and you find it later."

Transition to Main Content: Jesse Eisenberg's Appearance (10:34 - 19:36)

After the holiday chatter, Conan formally introduces Jesse Eisenberg, lauding his talents and expressing admiration for Eisenberg's career, particularly his role in "The Squid and the Whale." Jesse reciprocates the praise, sharing a heartfelt anecdote about how he and his mother watched Conan's show together, despite his father's disapproval.

Notable Quote:

• Jesse (12:32): "I grew up, like, obsessed with you to the point where my mom would sneak out after my dad fell asleep to watch your show with me."

Exploring Anxiety and Personal Struggles (19:36 - 26:14)

The conversation shifts to personal struggles with anxiety. Conan and Jesse discuss their respective experiences with anxiety and therapy, highlighting their challenges in seeking help and the impact it has had on their lives and careers. They reflect on how performing and creative outlets have served as coping mechanisms.

Notable Quote:

• Conan (14:58): "There are people who do excellent work and are not good people, and I do believe in separating the two."

Jesse Eisenberg's New Film: "A Real Pain" (26:14 - 43:59)

Conan and Jesse delve into Jesse's latest project, "A Real Pain," where Jesse not only stars but also writes and directs. They discuss the film's themes, which revolve around two cousins embarking on a meaningful trip to Poland to explore their family's history and reconcile with past traumas. Conan praises the film's balance of dark and meaningful subtext with humor and authenticity, commending the chemistry between Jesse and co-star Kieran Culkin.

Notable Quotes:

• Conan (35:37): "It's a really lovely movie and like a tone poem. It's a travel story and... it's one of those films where I watched it and I just thought, okay, I have this making me feel all kinds of stuff in a very good way."
• Jesse (38:35): "I had this great dynamic... and I just inserted them in these kind of, you know, fictionalized ways."

Conan's Personal Journey and Immigration Reflections (44:00 - 54:15)

The discussion deepens as Conan shares his personal connection to immigration and his family's history, paralleling Jesse's own journey in "A Real Pain." Both reflect on their ancestors' migrations, the challenges faced, and the emotional weight of reconnecting with their roots. They explore the complexities of visiting sites of historical trauma and the unexpected emotional responses that arise from such experiences.

Notable Quote:

• Conan (53:00): "We're all immigrants. We're all immigrants... and we're all curious about where we came from."

Entitlement and Authenticity in Hollywood (54:15 - 65:13)

Conan and Jesse discuss the concept of manufactured eccentricity versus genuine authenticity in the entertainment industry. They critique how some celebrities intentionally appear difficult or demanding to create a sense of importance, contrasting this with authentic individuals like Woody Harrelson, whom Conan describes as a "truly eccentric artist masquerading as an everyman."

Notable Quote:

• Conan (32:40): "Purposely manufactured difficulty because it almost creates a sense of importance sometimes. I think when someone's being very difficult... they don't feel authentic enough."

Humorous Interlude: Fan Fiction and Podcast Antics (65:13 - 73:27)

The conversation takes a comedic turn as the hosts explore erotic fan fiction centered around Conan. Sona shares instances of explicit fan creations, leading to playful frustration from Conan as Matt attempts to read aloud some humorous and risqué fanfic excerpts. This segment showcases the lighthearted and improvisational nature of the podcast.

Notable Quote:

• Sona (67:42): "The website is called archiveofourone.org... he's got a lot of Conan-specific fanfiction."
• Conan (71:07): "This is terrible. Stop it."

Closing Remarks and Final Banter (73:27 - End)

As the episode wraps up, Conan acknowledges Jesse's new film and expresses pride in their friendship. Sona shares updates about her involvement in the Pasadena Armenian Festival, highlighting the show's role in unifying diverse audiences. The hosts engage in final humorous exchanges, maintaining the show's signature blend of heartfelt conversation and comedy.

Notable Quote:

• Conan (57:12): "I'm proud to know you... you have a lot of character, and I know you're tough on yourself, and you're a real human being."

Conclusion

"Jesse Eisenberg Returns" is a poignant and entertaining episode that navigates personal histories, creative endeavors, and the complexities of forming genuine friendships in the celebrity sphere. Through heartfelt dialogue and comedic interludes, Conan and Jesse offer listeners an intimate glimpse into their lives, their struggles with anxiety, and the collaborative spirit that underpins their enduring friendship.