
John Mulaney feels litigious about being Conan O’Brien’s friend. John sits down with Conan once more to discuss his new Netflix talk show Everybody’s Live with John Mulaney, getting in touch with old Hollywood at Sunset Gower Studios, backstage banter at the SNL 50th, and much more. Later, Conan justifies his portrait’s presence in a Colorado park office. For Conan videos, tour dates and more visit TeamCoco.com. Got a question for Conan? Call our voicemail: (669) 587-2847.
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Conan O'Brien
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John Mulaney
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Conan O'Brien
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John Mulaney
Hi, my name is John Mullaney and I feel litigious nice about being Conan O'Brien's friend.
Conan O'Brien
Sir.
Sona Movsesian
Fall is here, here they yell back to school, ring the bell, brand new.
John Mulaney
Shoes, walking blues climb the fence books and I can tell that we are.
Conan O'Brien
Gonna be friends I can tell that.
Matt Gourley
We are gonna be friends.
Conan O'Brien
Hello and welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend sitting here with sonam of session, of course, Matt Gourley and what's going on? Sona, you have some analysis.
Matt Gourley
I wanna just congratulate you because you got something called dab of the decade.
Conan O'Brien
Which is dab of the decade.
Matt Gourley
Yeah. You have been voted by the people as the top guest on Hot of the whole run.
Conan O'Brien
Wait now, wait a minute. Explain this to me. They had like a series of people were up for like a bracket. There was a bracket. Oh my God, look at this picture. Oh my God, look at that. I mean, look at that.
Matt Gourley
You were up against Ariana Grande in the last round and there's a picture of the two of you and her picture. She's stunning. She looks gorgeous. She's beautiful and she's beautiful and you like right underneath her you're this crazy person and there's milk just coming out of your mouth.
Conan O'Brien
A true monster.
Matt Gourley
Absolute monster.
Conan O'Brien
A true monster.
Matt Gourley
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
Nosferatu beat out Snow White.
John Mulaney
Post breastfeed Nosferatu.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. That's insane. So how many people who knows about this contest really knows about it? How many people were in the brackets. How many people were I up against?
Sona Movsesian
Was it every past guest of Hot Ones?
Matt Gourley
Yeah. Okay, so there were eight people. It started with eight people.
Conan O'Brien
Okay.
Matt Gourley
First you're up against Jennifer Lawrence, so you know who I love and who's hilarious. The other people are Paul Rudd, Shaq, Idris Elba, Gordon Ramsey, Jennifer Lawrence, Lorde and Ariana Grande.
Conan O'Brien
Wow. That's actually a decent lineup.
Matt Gourley
And these are all really memorable Hot Ones episodes. I mean.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. You know, wow. So I won Dab of the Decade.
Matt Gourley
And they really chose such flattering pictures of everyone.
Conan O'Brien
It's okay. You know me, right, Sona. You know me. And what. What's picture that I would want out there?
Matt Gourley
You would want this picture?
Conan O'Brien
Yes.
Matt Gourley
The craziest thing, I was just thinking.
Conan O'Brien
Like, if my time. Whenever my time comes and I pass on to the next realm, if the New York Times runs an obit, I want that photo. I want that photo.
Matt Gourley
Your funeral. When they have pictures on the.
Conan O'Brien
Yes, yes. There's a picture on the easel next to the casket or the urn.
Sona Movsesian
Laser etched headstone.
Conan O'Brien
Yes. I want it to be that. And most people will think, oh, I don't know who he is, but he apparently choked to death.
Sona Movsesian
You should have your headstone laser etched with that. But there's a little opening that just shoots milk out of your mouth.
Conan O'Brien
Milk mixed with hot sauce. So people walking by the grave. And there's a motion sensor. There's a motion sensor that senses someone's passing and it shoots a mixture of 2% milk and hot sauce at you. And you're like, jesus, I'm trying to go visit my grandmother. And I accidentally pass by. Who's Conan O'Brien?
Matt Gourley
Oh, my God.
John Mulaney
Yeah.
Matt Gourley
A lot of things they can etch on your tombstone.
Conan O'Brien
That's the one right now.
Matt Gourley
Well, there could also be a little masturbating bear. Like your tombstone could be a freak show.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, yeah.
Matt Gourley
I mean, it's just all this stuff in your mind.
Conan O'Brien
Well, you know, the technology will exist where it can be a hologram and different images can be coming up. So it can be me and the old timey baseball, you know, whatever. Different things that have gone viral over the years, moments from this podcast, and people will just pass this headstone and they'll have forgotten me. I'll be long forgotten. But they'll see these moments and they'll think this was a. What was wrong with this man?
Matt Gourley
This clown who was.
Conan O'Brien
Well, I don't know or what. What kind of brain disease did he have? He clearly had like some Sort of worm eating away his brain. He died a horrible death. Milk shooting out of his mouth. A bear jerking off on him. Oh, God, what a horrible way to go. This poor fellow. Well, I can't think of a better introduction. Might as well get to it. We should get into it. My guest today, it says a hilarious comedian. I think maybe the funniest comedian out there, who now hosts the Netflix talk show Everybody's Live with John Mulaney. I'm beyond excited that he's here today. He's one of the greats. John Mulaney, welcome. You want to lawyer up? Are you already lawyered up?
John Mulaney
I'm heavily lawyered up.
Conan O'Brien
Okay. I need to lawyer up. This is gonna be a few phone calls. I'll take you on any day. I would like us to be in a long, protracted lawsuit that nobody understands.
John Mulaney
I'd love it. And we start having to refer to each other as Mr. Mulaney and Mr. O'Brien. There's a moment in the Eagles documentary where things get litigious, and suddenly it's like. What Mr. Felder fails to understand.
Conan O'Brien
Is.
John Mulaney
That we are a brotherhood.
Conan O'Brien
My favorite part of the Eagles documentary is there's a part where they realize that David Geffen is kind of taking advantage of them, and they unbelievably. And so the way the documentary lays out, if you watch the Eagles documentary, and you do not have to be an Eagles fan to love the Eagles documentary, You just have to have some time. Yeah, you just have to have some time. But it's a great documentary in the way things lay out. They got everyone to talk, so they have different Eagles talking about getting together, and then they meet David Geffen, and then David Geffen says, oh, they were the best. They're fantastic. They were amazing. I knew right away. And then they all start working together. Everything's great. And then some of them on camera start to say, yeah, but then we thought maybe this deal, maybe David Geffen's getting a lot of money. And they cut to David Geffen, and he went, ah, musicians are ingrates. You know, Totally. I think in the same day that.
John Mulaney
He go from Don Henley talking to Geffen, he goes, he's a malcontent. He's a malcontent. He's always been a malcontent.
Conan O'Brien
But then they all go their separate ways from David Geffen. The documentary goes on for another bunch of years, and then they're all. The Eagles break up, then they're all on their own, and Henley says, you know, I bump into David Geffen. And I'm thinking, what was that all about? Let's get back together again. And then they cut to Geffen, and he's like, I knew Henley. He was the voice, and he was the magical. He could do no wrong. And then they start working together for a little bit, and Don Henley goes, yeah. And then I started to notice that, you know, my socks were missing and my watch was missing. And then they cut to him and he goes, malka Kennedy.
John Mulaney
He's always gonna be a malcontent.
Conan O'Brien
Oh, we should get into that kind of lawsuit. People would love it.
John Mulaney
I'd love it. I love if we. Let's do something together and then fight over the rights to it until we bury each other in legal costs.
Conan O'Brien
Yes.
John Mulaney
That'd be so fun.
Conan O'Brien
And everyone will know about the beef we have because it will constantly. We'll make sure that it's constantly in the trades, but no one will ever really understand what it's all about. We should buy a piece of property together.
John Mulaney
It should also become a thing where the tactics, the lawsuit then become what we're fighting over.
Conan O'Brien
Yes.
John Mulaney
Where. Like the actual. You know, where I'm now just harassing you and you.
Conan O'Brien
Me.
John Mulaney
It's so funny. People love suing. They do just love it.
Conan O'Brien
They do.
John Mulaney
Well, I'll get. I'll see you in court, asshole. They love it. They love every part of it.
Conan O'Brien
Well, we're going to start that. We'll tackle that later. Okay? I promise you there'll be a John Mulaney Conan O'Brien lawsuit coming very soon. Let me congratulate.
John Mulaney
Let's write one song together.
Conan O'Brien
Called We Will Always Be Friends. Yeah.
John Mulaney
We will always be friends. Friends.
Conan O'Brien
Two content men by the Contentors. Yeah. I want to compliment you. Everybody's live first episode. I don't know when this airs. When does this air, you idiots? I'm sorry. I'm looking at my own people, not you. John, I have nothing but respect for you because I don't see you that often, but I'm talking about the people I love and respect here.
John Mulaney
This episode, March 31st. Okay, well, okay, so we'll have done. So we'll have done three by then.
Conan O'Brien
Okay. And, you know, we're not even going to edit this because I like people to see the process. We are fallible.
John Mulaney
Exactly.
Conan O'Brien
People don't know that you and I.
John Mulaney
And that this isn't coming to you right out of the mic. These are. He's banking these.
Conan O'Brien
Yes, I'm banking these.
John Mulaney
He just has a bank of them.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
John Mulaney
So he can sell the library.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. Jimmy Carter still has two years to live as we record this.
Sona Movsesian
Now I have to edit.
Conan O'Brien
Okay, that thing, you ruined it. All right, I fucked up.
Sona Movsesian
I'll see you in court.
John Mulaney
I saw that guy loved hospice. He was in hospice forever.
Conan O'Brien
He got better in hospice. Jimmy Carter's the only guy that went into hospice. And then like six weeks later, they saw him jogging around the neighborhood and lifting weights. He was down in Venice beach weightlifting.
John Mulaney
No, he really was. He was drinking pre workout powder and just doing leg days.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, it was crazy. Everybody's live. Your show makes me very happy.
John Mulaney
Thanks, man.
Conan O'Brien
And I really, I. I'm just delighted that you're doing it and kind of don't understand why nobody said, hey, I want to play with this format for a specific amount of time and really fuck around and play with it and then move on to some other stuff and then maybe come back to it. There was a, in my day, kind of a get down into the galley and pull that oar for. You know what I mean? An hour a day. And it's. It really does change the tenor of everything. And here you guys are just having fun and I'm not sure I know you're gonna do. You had the previous season, which had a different name.
John Mulaney
That was. Everybody's in la.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. Right.
John Mulaney
And we covered the city of la. It was during the Netflix as a joke festival.
Conan O'Brien
Yes.
John Mulaney
So like every comedian was in town.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
John Mulaney
And it was a funny situation that we're all in the town of Los Angeles. This. We've broadened out, you know, topic wise and where we're filming some stuff.
Conan O'Brien
And you have a very. Your monologue, I thought was. Was very funny, but you talk about. You had a focus group look at the name. Everybody. Everybody's in la. And you said people. A lot of people in the United States don't like Los Angeles.
John Mulaney
No, it's really. I was like, no, come on, people. It's not coastal. They say, live from New York, et cetera. Tonight I was like, people like, knowing the data. No, people don't like Los Angeles. And then after the fires, I thought now they might like it. Feel bad for it at least. No.
Conan O'Brien
And you know what's interesting is that.
John Mulaney
People pro fired the focus group.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, yeah, yeah. May have started it. Yeah, may have started the fire. Is running for president next year as a Democrat. The thing that's shocking is if you drift around LA and get a little north, like people in San Francisco hate la.
John Mulaney
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
People in LA don't feel that way. About San Francisco.
John Mulaney
I think they feel that way about any place.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, people in LA are quite. Oh, no, no, ask them about any place. Ask them about Boulder. They're like, oh yeah, Boulder sounds great. I've never been there, but it sounds great.
John Mulaney
And they love every area right outside of la. Yes, Any place. Cerritos. Oh, Cerritos. It's great. People love Palos Verdes. Anything near it. We're pro.
Conan O'Brien
Yes.
John Mulaney
There's not even like suburban, you know.
Conan O'Brien
There'S a very open mindedness towards other areas. But everyone's sort of decided that LA is a terrible place filled with terrible people. So I think you are right to change the title. Everybody's live.
John Mulaney
And it's also funny to cave just to be like, like to be at a. It struck me as a funny situation to kind of be like, I've been able to do a lot of things in the past few years and I have some options. It wasn't like it's this show or the highway. So, you know, the fact that I caved so quickly on a thing like the title was to me funny in and of itself.
Conan O'Brien
Yes.
John Mulaney
They go, we want you to take out la and me to go, okay, yeah, yeah, whatever you want.
Conan O'Brien
So it would be funny for you to. You would enjoy being a narc, for example. Or to, you know, if I did.
John Mulaney
If so, if I didn't have to. Because some people, it's like, you know, you get busted with, you know, with a kilo and you're like, you gotta flip on some other guys, that's a jam. But to choose to narc, to choose to narc outta the sheer fucking love of it.
Conan O'Brien
So to sell secrets to the Russians and not even profit from it.
John Mulaney
I love those people the most. The actual pro. The actual pro Russia people.
Conan O'Brien
Or they're not even pro Russia, they just enjoy it. It's fun to sell state secrets.
John Mulaney
Yeah. What was Alger Hiss? Was he getting money or was he just like. I just. Some people I think gave secrets because they're like, it can't be so one sided.
Conan O'Brien
Right, Right. He wanted to even things out.
John Mulaney
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
Alger Hiss did something too. Like he hit microfilm in a carved out pumpkin, I think. Listen, he was. Yeah, you kids, you better bone up on this. But Alger Hiss, of course, really was how Richard Nixon made his career. He made his bones prosecuting Alger Hiss. There you go. Little fun fact for you kids that are listening right now. This is why they won't let me have a weekly TV show anymore. I would turn your show so quickly into Alger Hiss history.
John Mulaney
Yes. I'm seriously, seriously skating that right now. That's very nice. What you said about the show. That means a lot, Late Night. I mean, you. It's so funny because you did the same thing, but at the highest possible stakes nightly. And I don't think now doing it a little. I mean, meaning six episodes in one, but just having a taste of it. I'm like, there is a thing where you just can't help but do it differently because, you know. And I got the sense those early years of Late Night, it was like you guys couldn't help but make it as. It's almost like for you to do the best job possible, you had to make it as weird as it was.
Conan O'Brien
Yes.
John Mulaney
Like that to you was doing a good job.
Conan O'Brien
Yes. If we thought of an idea and it wasn't just anti Establishment. No, it was just really ideas that delighted us. But we knew that anyone randomly tuning in would probably be very confused. Except, you know, a young John Mulaney who might really like it. If only I had known you then, that would have. I've said this to other people. It would have given me great solace to know that you were out there as a kid rooting a son.
John Mulaney
Oh, my God.
Conan O'Brien
But I. But yeah, we would do. I think of the things we do now, and it's like watching yourself skateboarding over sharks, you know, in doing some stunt that you did at the time without thinking too much about it. And now I look at it and I'm frightened for the younger me because we would do a whole episode where Andy and I got locked in a meat locker and we had flashbacks. It's insane because we'd only been on the air for a couple of months and we were totally. I think it was all very suicidal and nobody was happy. We were making ourselves happy. But one of the things I saw on your show that really made me happy, it's a great idea, was you got a bunch of people together who had played Willy Loman, some of them from Death of a Salesman, some of them quite like a bunch of very famous actors.
John Mulaney
Christopher Lloyd, Anthony LaPaglia, Rob Morrow.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, you got them in there and you did a focus group with them as a bunch of Willy Lomans. And it just. We live in this era where I think people got intoxicated at some point with comedy having a point and comedy meaning something and comedy driving the conversation. And the conversation, you know, whatever.
John Mulaney
The conversation became a term. Yeah, exactly. I never used to hear about.
Conan O'Brien
About the conversation no, and I also, you know, I think it's a feedback loop sometimes because the press. That's big cover name names, the press likes to cover that stuff. So if.
John Mulaney
And by the way, it's.
Conan O'Brien
It.
John Mulaney
Those shows are good and those people do good work and it's easier to cover. It's. I wouldn't know what to write. Covering comedy is also bizarre because it's kind of an objective result. Like it kind of worked or it didn't. Right, sorry. It's intensely subjective. But then in terms of the show, doing the piece, it worked or it didn't.
Conan O'Brien
But I think I just love when there's a really funny idea that's very creative. I enjoy it so much more and I swear to God, I'll go to my grave thinking it has a power that's hard to understand, but it's there. So the Willy Loman thing was making me really laugh. I really love you throwing to commercials that don't, aren't. Are not commercials that don't need to exist. But I know that you grew up seeing people, you know, like me or Letterman or whatever, throwing to commercial. And you know that it's part of this rite R I T E this religious right that you say, we're gonna take a break, but it's, you know, you're not selling anything.
John Mulaney
I stole Cavett's. He always said, we'll be back after this message. Which I found was like a weird way to refer to commercials. They're just. There's a statement a company wants to make a statement.
Conan O'Brien
We know we in no way.
John Mulaney
No. Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
We in no way profit.
John Mulaney
It's like doing tv. It feels like. It feels like doing like tv. When TV were on tv. When TV were on tv.
Conan O'Brien
I don't think. I don't think you should have a show anymore.
John Mulaney
Yeah, I know.
Conan O'Brien
I think you've.
John Mulaney
This is pre recorded.
Conan O'Brien
Well, that's the other thing too, that.
John Mulaney
Feels like doing broadcast tv.
Conan O'Brien
Yes. Well, also, you start the show at. What time do you start it?
John Mulaney
In the 7pm Pacific. We go live, 10pm New York.
Conan O'Brien
Right. But it was kind of exciting. You walked out and you said, hello, everybody. You know, it is 9:01.
John Mulaney
Oh, yeah. I give time and temp. So 7:02 in Los Angeles the other night it was 67. It was rainy.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. Yeah. And it was. I don't know, it was just. There's something about that where I thought a lot of people, if they're gonna do live tv, they wanna do something like, I'm gonna put my head in a tiger's mouth, and that's gonna make it compelling. You were giving the exact time and temperature, and I found it exciting. Yeah.
John Mulaney
Thank you. I appreciate that a lot.
Conan O'Brien
Thank you. It's like, wow.
John Mulaney
Yeah, I appreciate that. Great.
Conan O'Brien
Well, I could also look at my apple watch, but I don't know. It looks like you're having fun, too.
John Mulaney
It's incredibly fun. I would say doing those six episodes was. And then working on this new incarnation. It can be tiring, but it's never hard. It is a really. It just is really fun. I have to say, I haven't had a lot of experiences like that where there's kind of no other than wanting to realize the things we want to do as best we can. There's no, like. I don't know. There's not. There's no obstacle. Maybe there should be some. But there's no obstacle.
Conan O'Brien
Right. Also, I got a little bit of nostalgia because you're coming from Sunset Gower Studios, which is where Greg Daniels and I started. That was my first. We got out of college. Summer after college, we're sending out, trying to write for tv. We got crazy lucky and got a starting gig at a show called not to show the News that taped at Sunset Gower Studios.
John Mulaney
Nice.
Conan O'Brien
That's still imprinted on my brain. I felt that we had gone to Saturn. That's how strange it was to go from Boston, Massachusetts, and I had been on a plane, like, twice. And I'm suddenly in Los Angeles expecting to see Eric Estrada. You know, you just keep thinking, where are the celebrities? This is where the celebrities are. And you're walking around Hollywood and you're mostly seeing sex workers and the Walk of Fame.
John Mulaney
Barbara Broccoli.
Conan O'Brien
Well, I remember being stunned at how seedy. I misunderstood. And Greg, my partner, Greg Daniels, did too. We confused Hollywood with, like, Beverly Hills.
John Mulaney
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
So I thought Hollywood was where all the stars lived, and that's where the mansions were. So we got a place, like, on Koreatown. And then we were like, let's get spiffed up and go over to Hollywood. And we were walking around the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
John Mulaney
Nice.
Conan O'Brien
Which, of course, is you're dodging vomit. And it's grim. It's very grim. And I remember being.
John Mulaney
Well, you could buy. I mean, you could go buy a sword or a bong or something.
Conan O'Brien
You're right. I was too harsh.
John Mulaney
Sunset Gower's great. Because when you actually go to bigger studios in Los Angeles, there's such remote areas other than Paramount. There's such remote, overwhelming faceless just all consuming areas. Once you drive on the lot, Sunset Gower is like next to the Gower Gulch, which is like a western themed Rite Aid. And the Arby's sign that's sort of famous.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
John Mulaney
Which is no longer even an Arby's. Right. And then like there's like a gate and you drive on and it's like a few bill. Sunset Gower is just very low key.
Conan O'Brien
Sunset Gower looks the way a studio's supposed to look from like the 1920s.
John Mulaney
The Blazing Saddles type studio of everyone running in. Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
Yes, it's someone. And there'd be a bunch of people outside with autograph books waiting for a star to sign an autograph.
John Mulaney
You know that Elvis story with the Paramount lot?
Conan O'Brien
Which one?
John Mulaney
So when he first started making movies, he drived through those Melrose gates and he had to hide under all these coats, you know. Cause the girls would be swarming the gates and didn't want to know which car he was in. And he makes a movie, goes to the army. Movie, movie, movie, movie, movie. He's deep in like, you know, you know, Blue Tampa or whatever the films were by the end.
Conan O'Brien
Girls, girls, girls.
John Mulaney
Yeah, I think that was even kind of a hit. This is like the late era, later 60s. And the colonel would still tell him to hide under the coats, but there was no one waiting.
Sona Movsesian
We have to do that for Conan when he comes.
John Mulaney
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
Oh man. I do a lot of traveling. You know that I do the travel shows. Nothing quite like the feeling of an upgrade when you're traveling. Well, as a T mobile customer, you can take the perks with you.
John Mulaney
That's good.
Conan O'Brien
Isn't that nice? It starts the moments you take off with free in flight Wi fi so you can stream your favorite show on the go. Obviously that would be this show, I would think.
Matt Gourley
Yeah. You go in a plane and then you stream your podcast.
Conan O'Brien
If I'm anxious about a flight, the thing that calms me is seeing myself. And then when you land, T Mobile's got you covered with 15% off all Hilton brands. Did you know that?
Matt Gourley
No.
Conan O'Brien
Yep. Plus you're covered with 5, 5 gigabytes count em 5 of high speed data in over 215 countries and destinations with go 5G plus or next plans. And I have to tell you, it's a nice feeling. When I travel the globe for my travel work, I like to know that when I land in that other country, I'm covered, I'm there. Yeah. I can text you and say, hey, I got here safely. Yeah, I forgot to feed my cat. Could you feed my cat? You could remind me I don't have a cat.
Matt Gourley
Right.
Conan O'Brien
It's all good stuff. Yeah.
Matt Gourley
You facetime me before. From another country. And it was crisp. She was clear.
Conan O'Brien
Yep. You could see every mark on my face. Find out how you can experience travel better@t mobile.com Travel qualifying plan required Wi Fi where available on select US airlines. Terms and conditions apply. How hot do you like it? Firehouse Subs is turning up the heat. They've teamed up with hot ones to create two new sandwiches. The zesty garlic hook and ladder is the milder option. Can you believe that? Though still packed with flavor. And for the bravest spice chasers, the spicy dill hook and ladder sandwich is sure to be a three alarm situation. Well, Sona Blay, you guys sampled the wares today.
Matt Gourley
We did.
Conan O'Brien
You had yourself. Those hook and ladder sandwiches. How were they?
John Mulaney
They were great. And they had a kick.
Matt Gourley
Yeah, they did. I. I did the zesty garlic hook and ladder and I loved it.
John Mulaney
I took a walk in the wild side with the spicy dill hook and ladder. And it was great. I loved it.
Conan O'Brien
Well, I'm glad you guys enjoyed yourselves. Find out how hot you like it. Try the zesty garlic and spicy dill hook and ladder at Firehouse Subs for a limited time. Life doesn't go on forever. You gotta grab the moment, dude. Visit firehouses.com to find a restaurant near you. Individuals sensitive to spice or the Carolina reaper pepper should not consume the spicy dill hook and ladder. Limited time at participating Firehouse Subs restaurants. Hey, guys. Spring cleaning time. Let's start with your mop. Cause that overgrown winter hair ain't doing you any favors. You look like Mo from the Three Stooges. It's sport. It's an old reference, but look it up. It's Sport Clips. Haircuts. They've got pro stylists who know men's hair, TVs playing sports 24, 7. And a place built for guys. That's right, guys. To get a great cut without the hassle. No appointments, no stress. You just wander in. Fresh cut. In a place that's made for you dudes.
Matt Gourley
Yeah, bros. Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
High fives all around. So shake off that winter scruff and step into spring looking fresh. Cause they got you covered, brah. Sport Clips. It's a game changer. I have a story. Sunset Gower story. Which is I was once driving to work. And I know exactly when this would have been. Cause you could look it up. But I'm going down Gower Street. I take the right off Sunset. I'm going down Gower. I see a parking space and I turn around right near where Paramount is.
John Mulaney
Sweet.
Conan O'Brien
I do a U turn, an illegal U turn really quickly. And a car is just then pulling in to the gates. And I almost hit it. And I stop fast in my shitty car. And the person looking out the window at me is Eddie Murphy. Oh, he's not driving. He's being driven. He's in the passenger side, and he's shooting the Golden Child. So I almost ended Eddie Murphy's life as he was making the Golden Child. What year would that be?
Sona Movsesian
That movie came out in 1986.
Conan O'Brien
Okay, that's perfect.
John Mulaney
Weekend is Three Amigos.
Conan O'Brien
Oh. Oh. Is that true?
John Mulaney
Yeah. And it beat Three Amigos at the box office. And those Three Amigos guys will tell you that at the drop of a hat.
Conan O'Brien
But Three Amigos has aged better.
John Mulaney
Exactly. But you can't convince someone of when. When people feel attached to something, it's in a sweet way. They're very like, well, it didn't open. Golden Child won the week. You know, I think it's done. Okay.
Conan O'Brien
Since they never get over it.
John Mulaney
Yeah, a little bit.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
John Mulaney
In a nice way.
Conan O'Brien
It doesn't sound nice to me.
John Mulaney
Yeah, I know. I'm just cushioning the story of how petty they are. I'm trying with some interjecting positivity at the end. No, but it's nice. They're fixated on their own failures. It's narcissistic. But it's sweet. It's nice. It's nice. But it's nice.
Conan O'Brien
You can always just. It's nice.
John Mulaney
Marty can't see the forest for the trees. He's completely blindsided by failure. But it's sweet.
Conan O'Brien
He's a good guy.
John Mulaney
It's nice and it's fun and people like it, and it's nice. It's good to always remember the Tates.
Conan O'Brien
And the LaBiancas were murdered within two days. But it's nice.
John Mulaney
It's nice. It's nice. That's nice. It's Los Feliz.
Conan O'Brien
I want to pay you another compliment because that's the kind of guy I am. And this comes from the heart. I went to the snl.
John Mulaney
Comes from the heart with no eye contact. I know, I know. I gotta tell you a compliment.
Conan O'Brien
That's how we do it so much. I'm sorry. Gotta look at this rubber coaster.
John Mulaney
Solid guy.
Conan O'Brien
Here we go. Look at that. Look at that. It's so Irish. And it is St. Patrick's Day today?
John Mulaney
Hey, happy St. Patrick's Day.
Conan O'Brien
And guess what? I'm not doing this intentionally. I'm not a fan of St. Patrick's Day. I'm not a. Kiss me. I'm Irish guy. And so I. People are always giving me shit for not wearing green. And I always. It's not a statement. I just completely forget. So I'm wearing. You think it's a statement?
John Mulaney
I'm sure it's a statement.
Conan O'Brien
I wanted to compliment you because I went to the SNL 50th, and I know that you were a creative force, a writer behind the SNL 50th, along with some other fellows. Yeah. Was it Simon Rich?
John Mulaney
Yes. I was back, too, and I. And Emily Spivey, Paula Pell, James Anderson. Tina was working as well.
Conan O'Brien
I have to say, I thought the show was great. I had good seats, didn't know anything that was gonna happen. It's interesting. I think enough time has gone by, and I loved my time at Saturday Night Live, but I needed. All of us have war stories. All of us have some form of PTSD from the intensity of that time of our lives, that. That all this time went by and I came back and I just had a blast.
John Mulaney
Oh, that's great.
Conan O'Brien
I loved it. I loved talking to everybody. I enjoyed the show. I thought it was really well written. I thought it was paced really well. I was stunned at how much content there was. I just. I mean, from beginning to end, it was cool.
John Mulaney
There was so, I mean, granted, recurring sketches and things that had been done before or and the like, but there was so much new performance. Like, it wasn't. They showed a couple. They showed the Schiller's Reel with John Belushi. They showed a couple filmed pieces, but that was it.
Conan O'Brien
They showed a few commercial parody montages.
John Mulaney
Oh, that's right.
Conan O'Brien
There were very few montages. It was mostly.
John Mulaney
And that was mainly to make acts and get, you know, like, set transitions.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
John Mulaney
So it was. It was. It was a lot of new.
Conan O'Brien
It was a lot of new material. One of the revelations, and I just brought him up, and I'm so glad I didn't kill him. In 1986, I had a great seat to watch Eddie Murphy do two of the sketches. He was in my seat, was just looking right into it. And I maintain, if he's not the most talented person to ever grace Saturday Night Live, I don't know who it would be. He became Tracy Morgan. I watched him. I watched him getting ready. Band's playing they're counting down. We're getting to within 30 seconds. His face is still completely neutral. He walks. He gets behind the podium where they're gonna play Jeopardy. He picks up his controller. And then I saw his face morph, and he became Tracy Morgan with, like, three seconds to go. And then he's in a Scared Straight sketch.
John Mulaney
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
Which is in the exact same position. And he was mesmerizing to watch. I'm. I'm stunned by him. I really am.
John Mulaney
And also, it felt like a lot of Saturday Night Live on display in one moment, which is. He says he's all the way Ray because he never does anything halfway, but his hair is braided on one half and then sticking up. And it was like that dumbass funny joke that Jost wrote. Then the hair department made that wig specifically for that. It looks perfect. And the sketch starts, and it's just sort of like a broad touch. And then he has that joke. It was just a lot of things, every department, you know, hard at work on, like, oh, it was the funniest, dumbest joke.
Conan O'Brien
I had a absolutely lovely time. And this was, I think, a week and a half or something before the Oscars, and I didn't have time to go. And this. Something in me said, you have to go.
John Mulaney
Oh, that's cool.
Conan O'Brien
And I got my ass there and just loved it and loved getting to talk to Lauren and tell him. I hope some of this is sinking in. Lauren, at what you've achieved. I want that for you. Getting to talk to so many people from over the years, some of whom worked on my late night show for a while when we were in Rockfarrel center and then drifted back to snl. But I thought it was a triumph. And wow. I mean, I can't imagine everything that went into putting that show together.
John Mulaney
What was fun was, from my perspective, months out there was Radio City, nothing Saturday and then the broadcast on Sunday. And I talked to Lauren and he'd tell me a couple things that were gonna be at Radio City, and then he would tell me, and Sunday, I think it's Paul and maybe one other DJ tale this for months.
Conan O'Brien
Right. Which Paul?
John Mulaney
Exactly.
Conan O'Brien
You never know.
John Mulaney
He broke a broom in half and said, fight it out. They both won. They both won.
Conan O'Brien
Which Paul? The one who had a partner that they didn't get along. That still doesn't help.
John Mulaney
Wait, real quick. Speaking of Paul McCartney, I have to. I feel bad because one of the two participants should break this joke. But right after the 50th, Marty Short did the end of the show, you know, the good nights. He had introduced McCartney. And then he was doing the goodnights and thanking everyone and thank. And thanks Paul McCartney. And it's big applause and all crazy. And then right after the credits are done, Fred runs up to Marty and he goes, dude, what did you say? And he goes, what? What? And he goes, you said Tony McCartney.
Conan O'Brien
Oh, my God.
John Mulaney
And Marty goes, what? Oh, my God. Damn it. And he was like, you said Tony McCartney.
Conan O'Brien
That's fantastic.
John Mulaney
It's such a good bit.
Conan O'Brien
It's such a good bit. Because I would imagine immediately believe that.
John Mulaney
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
Because. And this isn't true. Armisen. Who would lie about that.
John Mulaney
Exactly. And when you're speaking in a setting like that live on tv, you really do feel slightly disconnected. It just all feels like air coming out of you. And dude, you said, Tony McCartney so messed up.
Conan O'Brien
I had a.
John Mulaney
And what if. And Tony McCartney. And everyone still kind of applauded. But Tony. Marty had lost his mind.
Conan O'Brien
Did he tell him right away? I'm just kidding.
John Mulaney
I'm not sure how long. Probably right away. Away.
Conan O'Brien
They probably still haven't told him. It's why he's gone into seclusion. You know, There was the. The show and then there was a party at the Plaza, man. And I went to that party at the Plaza.
John Mulaney
I got beef with that party again.
Conan O'Brien
What's that?
John Mulaney
I got beef with that party again.
Conan O'Brien
What. Which is the.
John Mulaney
The 40th and the 50th. Everyone's trying to talk. And these musicians get up and start playing.
Conan O'Brien
Yes.
John Mulaney
And it stinks. I want them off the stage. They're so loud.
Conan O'Brien
We can't have a conversation.
John Mulaney
You can't have a conversation. We all want to sit and stand in various areas talking poorly about our contemporaries.
Conan O'Brien
Yes.
John Mulaney
Thank you. Out there trying to do an arcade fire. Get out of here.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
John Mulaney
I wanted to get a little spray bottle of water and just scoop them off stage. I was so mad.
Conan O'Brien
Like you're training a puppy.
John Mulaney
Exactly. No. What about us? Looks like we want to move our bodies and dance. We're all tired and we wanna speak lovingly but poorly of our contemporaries, co workers, the show as a whole and what the planning was like.
Conan O'Brien
Yes.
John Mulaney
And you. I remember at the 40th that. Who's that guy?
Conan O'Brien
I didn't get to go to the 40s.
John Mulaney
Gets up.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
John Mulaney
And everyone talks about this, like, as the greatest night in New York history. It stunk. They sounded like a wedding band. It was like Elvis Perkins, Paul McCartney, you know, maybe Aykroyd. All of them just Playing at once loudly. And then Prince got up, and we had to act like that was a big deal. And I'm just trying to. I just was like, I just wanted to talk shit with Bobby Moynihan. Yeah. It was such a bump. It's so not what this is about to me. Loud guitars I had. I was really mad. And then when I saw them start to plug in at the 50th, I left. I said, I can't do everything.
Conan O'Brien
Okay, well, here's the thing.
John Mulaney
I know how to make a good party. We would lower the music, and we would all quietly say slightly negative things. Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. There were different levels at the Plaza. And I walked in and I decided I knew there was music, and I didn't go towards the music. I stayed down. There was a bar.
John Mulaney
I ended up in the lobby where there were couches.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. Just hung out. I went past the lobby, There's a bar area, and I'm standing at the bar area, and I had said hello to a couple of people, and I turn around, and Paul McCartney's standing right there. And I'm an insane Beatles fan. I've interviewed him a bunch of times, but I always assume, I think correctly, that he's. He's met too many fam. He's met too many people in his life. So I don't say, like, hey, Paul, you know who I am? We start chatting. I tell him I really liked the Golden Slumbers medley. And I like how the guitar parts at the end are so distinctive because the three Beatles played them.
John Mulaney
Paul first, then really cool, dude.
Conan O'Brien
Sounds really cool. I know, I know, I know.
John Mulaney
I like three guitar parts.
Conan O'Brien
Sorry. I know. I'm saying. I know. I'm celebrating my dorkdom.
John Mulaney
Three guitar parts. Because all three of you Beatles played them.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, I didn't remember the other one's names.
John Mulaney
Yeah, all three of you.
Conan O'Brien
And so he.
John Mulaney
Joel and Rob.
Conan O'Brien
But he's chatting and he's like, oh, you know, he's talking about it, and we're having, like, a nice conversation. Goes on for a while. I said a couple of things about. I think a couple of nice things about more contemporary work he's done. He seemed to like that. And then he said, well, you've said some nice things to me. He said. And then he said, maybe you want to even it out a little. Like, you know, you've said some nice things. Maybe you should. Maybe you want to go the other way for the next comment. And I said, you guys peaked.
Matt Gourley
Jesus. Oh, my God.
Conan O'Brien
I'm sorry. Fucking. I said, you guys peaked with the Quarrymen. Everything after that was shit.
John Mulaney
That's great.
Conan O'Brien
And he didn't laugh. He looked a little surprised. But I basically told him the group they had before they were the Beatles was the best. And everything after that was shit. And then I knew to walk away. And I thought maybe, maybe that's gonna penetrate everything else he's heard tonight. Maybe he's gonna wake up at 2 in the morning, go, did that fucker say that I peaked with the Queen?
John Mulaney
I mean, I think three people in Liverpool Prize said that. And it stuck with them. Yeah, like when you was playing Weddings, you was better. And they're like, you know, it stays with you. And you go like, yeah, I'd like to see that lady see us now, you know. And with the Tony McCartney insult, I bet his head was spinning.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, he didn't know he had. He was taking punches left and right.
John Mulaney
My point, sorry. The thing I was, I failed to say was that those conversations with Lauren, like, I feel like in a marvelous way, in order to get the collective heart rate where it needed to be, that show was not planned till much closer to it than I realized. I mean, you would know, but it really was. It was really fun. It was humorously down to the wire. And then it passed the point of humor. Yeah, it was great.
Conan O'Brien
I knew that that would be the case because that's the way it has to be. I also knew.
John Mulaney
And it got there and it was really hard with a two year run.
Conan O'Brien
Up and this is selling very.
John Mulaney
He got it there.
Conan O'Brien
Very hard to do that.
John Mulaney
It's like if they announced that Thursday.
Conan O'Brien
They announced two years out that they were going to be going to Mars with a rocket and it's the night before and they're trying to figure out where the nose cone is.
John Mulaney
Or they're like. Or it could be Venus. And you're like. Like to get everyone there with such a good feeling. But by Thursday, to create an atmosphere where like me and Tina and Seth and Jost are running into each other going, what the hell is happening? Like, that was real. That was a work of art. The stress leading up to it was a work of art.
Conan O'Brien
Selling out Jim Downey. But I know it was. Cause Jim Downey was calling me, pitching things.
John Mulaney
Oh, yeah. To me, like showing that full Bob Newhart sketch.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. A week before and saying, wait. I said, yeah, I think I'm gonna be able to come. But wait, you want me to do something? I don't think I'm doing anything. And he's like, no, no, it'd be great. It'd be great. And also with Norm, you could do a Norm thing, but you could also do this. And I said. And I got the impression. I started to have the impression that he was wandering around the basement of 30 Rock with a phone and the cord had been snipped. He wasn't talking. And so he. He was pitching things that I don't think had any chance of happening.
John Mulaney
Well, he wanted to show in its entirety a cut sketch that Bob Newhart starred in called Dave's Superstore. Have you ever heard of? It's like, based on, you know, those Midwestern stores, like a Ben Franklin which sells Hummel figurines and kites and any.
Conan O'Brien
Oh, is it the store that has everything?
John Mulaney
Kind of.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
John Mulaney
And so it's, you know. Hey, do you have a crossbow made out of white chocolate?
Conan O'Brien
Yes.
John Mulaney
Oh, we have one. And so it's that bit with Bob Newhart. It sounded great, but in the middle of the 50th, Jim wanted to show it in its entirety. And I thought that that was such a funny thing to be pushing within 72 hours of the Broadway.
Conan O'Brien
Yes, yes. And I was getting these calls from Jim, like, so it's. Hey, it's all planned. You're gonna introduce a sketch. And I.
John Mulaney
It's all planned.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, it's, you know, the fix is in. You're gonna.
John Mulaney
Yeah, yeah.
Conan O'Brien
And so I discreetly reached out to some other people who said, no, the.
John Mulaney
Best call was the Saturday before. I was about to fly in for the week. And Jim goes, now when are you going to be in the office? And I go, well, I land Monday at this time. He goes, but what time are you getting in? I was like, I'm not sure what time I'm arriving at the office. He goes, I will commit now to keeping bankers hours if you do. I will commit now to keeping bankers hours.
Conan O'Brien
Something you've done that I've always been curious about is you've done Broadway. And I have always been curious about it. Cause it's always been kind of like a secret dream of mine.
John Mulaney
Why secret?
Conan O'Brien
Well, I don't know it just now for such a long time. There were years ago I was offered a chance to do the Music man, which I was built to do. And it was this big production of the Music man, but I was doing the late night show at the same time, and we realized there's no way that's gonna work. It was just not gonna work, and.
John Mulaney
I didn't do it. You would have been done. What time were you done taping? 6:30. You walk over to what, the Winter Garden?
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
John Mulaney
You could have done it.
Conan O'Brien
I know you could do it now, but I, I'm not kidding.
John Mulaney
You could totally. Why wouldn't you?
Conan O'Brien
I saw you and Nick Kroll do. Oh, hello. I had such joy watching you guys up there, but. And then you invited me up for some to. To be part of the madness for a little bit as you did with Secret Guests. And it was so fun and I always thought, oh, I know what I would love. I don't want to have to carry a Broadway show, but I would love to be a cameo in a very funny, successful Broadway show. Sort of like King George in Hamilton.
John Mulaney
Hamilton, Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
I want to come in like Jonathan Groff and get my laughs and then go backstage.
John Mulaney
Like you could do Master of the House and like.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, I just would love the idea of living in New York for a couple of months.
John Mulaney
Oh my God. Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
And. And you've done that. You've done that twice now.
John Mulaney
Yeah, we just did. I did a five week run in what was a total 10 week run of the Simon Rich play all in. So I was in it, opened it with Richard Kind, Fred Armisen and Renee Elise Goldsberry and then Chloe Feynman joined the cast when Renee was. And it was great. Five weeks at the Hudson Theater, which is a great theater for comedy and with Richard and Fred, Chloe and Renee and Alex Timbers who's directed my past two specials and I've worked with on lots of things and who had directed. Oh, hello. So it was the best. It was like Christmas on Broadway for five weeks with very close friends, written by my favorite person in the world.
Conan O'Brien
And it's just I've always imagined the part that seems that I've romanticized is walking to the theater like late in the afternoon. Like you say it's winter, sun going down. I'm headed to the theater. I'm on tonight. Goodbye. Goodbye, darling.
John Mulaney
You get a big expensive ass coat. Big ass collar, walk down the street.
Conan O'Brien
I hadn't thought of the coat. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
John Mulaney
Imagine you were picturing a little tiny cheap coat.
Conan O'Brien
Yes.
John Mulaney
Big ass coat, barely long overcoat, big ass collar like Babe Ruth.
Conan O'Brien
I exactly know the coat you're talking about.
John Mulaney
You know the one I mean? Yeah. And the big hat.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, I want it all. I think that would be so much fun.
John Mulaney
This is one of those things I bet that you will not do soon enough and you should do it.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, yeah.
John Mulaney
What? Go do it. The world. You.
Conan O'Brien
I'm busy.
John Mulaney
Yeah, sort of.
Conan O'Brien
Not really. I know I'm not busy.
John Mulaney
No, you are busy. But you can fit it in, you know?
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. So proud. I didn't make a crass joke there, you know, Fit it in, but. You know what I mean? No but. And I'm sand joke. No, but here's the thing.
John Mulaney
You've turned a family program into something else entirely.
Conan O'Brien
You know what I meant by fit it in, though, right?
John Mulaney
Oh, Jesus.
Conan O'Brien
Do you remember. Do you know what I was talking about?
John Mulaney
Do I know what you're talking about? The euphemism of fit it in.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, yeah, I get it. Yeah.
John Mulaney
And honey, I'm laughing on the inside. Look, I'm not. I'm not the. The stiff patrician guy, you see, I've got a body sense of humor. Not on the air. Not ever. Not ever. So I.
Conan O'Brien
That was a mistake.
John Mulaney
Families are sitting around one big radio listening.
Conan O'Brien
It's the depression.
John Mulaney
It's the Depression.
Conan O'Brien
And I. I just want you to know what I meant by fit it in. Do you know what I mean?
John Mulaney
I know what you meant.
Conan O'Brien
It's like a guy with a. You know what I'm saying?
Matt Gourley
Yeah. I think we all get it. If you go to New York, can Matt and I come too?
Conan O'Brien
No.
Matt Gourley
Maybe we can come.
Conan O'Brien
This is my big chance.
Matt Gourley
We can do the podcast.
Conan O'Brien
There is a buzz out there that you've been holding me back. Oh, and this is my chance to wear a big ass coat.
John Mulaney
Yeah. And people go, is that Babe Ruth? Oh, no, it's Conan. That excitement of the bambino.
Conan O'Brien
No musc. No athletic ability. That's Conan.
John Mulaney
Yeah. He doesn't have the athletic physique of one of one Babe Root.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. Six more of those conings.
John Mulaney
Not jacked like George.
Conan O'Brien
Hey, you know what? The thing is, the three of us should walk around in one big coat.
Sona Movsesian
Are we side by side or, you know, we're side by side.
John Mulaney
So huge lapels.
Conan O'Brien
Giant lapels.
Matt Gourley
Gets all arms.
John Mulaney
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
And eating a hot dog.
Sona Movsesian
We each get an arm.
Conan O'Brien
You and I. Oh, you and I.
Matt Gourley
You should do Death of a Salesman.
John Mulaney
You should do Death of a Salesman. Oh, and tap into the barely hiding rage. You know, act like it.
Conan O'Brien
I like that it's at all hidden. Sure. Yeah. I have to ask you too, about your style, because you brought up the big ass coat. You've got great style. That is something that eluded me a lot of writers get, especially from my era. All of us owned, like two shirts. We looked like shit. We lived in shitty apartments. You One of the great comedy writers, certainly of your generation, of all time. You always. It seems like you know how to dress. Where did you know how to dress? When did you know how to. You always look good.
John Mulaney
You're a sharpest of you to say.
Conan O'Brien
Don't you think that that's true? I mean, always.
John Mulaney
So I'll tell you this story. The first time I ever came to New York, I was 13. I was with my dad, and we're walking around downtown New York, and two memories that meant a lot to me, both just how to comport yourself as a person. This guy's coming down the street that my dad had done a deal with, and the guy had been super unethical. So he walks up and he goes, hey, Chip Mulaney. And my dad goes, I'm not shaking your hand. And we're. And he goes, I didn't mean to do that in front of you, but that man was very unethical in a deal we did. I thought, I've never seen anything so badass in my life. That's great. Just. I'm not shaking your hand and walk away, because I also. My parents always were talking about being nice and polite and friendly and neighborly. So I just liked the boundary of. I'm like, just one man. It's why I love lawsuits. One man dressing down another.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, yeah.
John Mulaney
One man excoriating another. So then we go to NYU Law School. My dad wants to see a classroom that's been dedicated to a federal judge that he once clerked for, this guy Ed Wein, who had passed away by then. So we walk up into the law school, and there's a security desk, and there's a student who has misplaced their id, and the security guard is giving them, like, a ton of shit. Like, well, I can't let you back. And, you know, you can't get into the library without. And my dad's wearing just a jacket and tie just because. And we just walk right past the security guard, and as we're walking up the stairs, my dad doubles back and looks at me and goes, the power of dressing well. Yes.
Conan O'Brien
So do you think that's maybe where it came from?
John Mulaney
Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
John Mulaney
I wear, like, a tie sometimes at home so that my kids think. I mean, like, it's a bit put on. Obviously, I don't need to be wearing.
Conan O'Brien
It, but I understand it's become. Your aesthetic is attached somewhat, I think, to the work you're doing. Like, you are a sharp dresser. Your choice of words is better than Other comedians. And I think the whole thing is.
Matt Gourley
No, no, I'm laughing at what he's doing.
Conan O'Brien
I know, I know. I think it's connect. I think it's connected.
John Mulaney
I do think it's connected.
Conan O'Brien
I think you put things together in a very thoughtful, crafted way, and it's all of a piece. Like, it makes sense to me that you dress as John Mulaney.
John Mulaney
Yeah. I will say I am genuinely very comfortable in the things I wear. And if I were more comfortable, I am often not comfortable in jeans and New Balance. And I don't know, what would Ray Romano wear?
Conan O'Brien
An $8 Casio watch.
John Mulaney
You know, I don't mean to name names, but what would a plebeian like Ray Romano wear? That's who I was picturing. As I went feet up, I was like, open shirt. Who am I seeing here? Modern day Ray Romano. But I feel more comfortable doing it. You always dress very nice. Nice.
Conan O'Brien
I. I learned over time to. To.
John Mulaney
When I was a writer at snl, I wore the same thing every day.
Sona Movsesian
Yeah.
John Mulaney
Because I heard Obama had dark gray and dark blue suits with a red tie or a blue tie. So he never had to think about what to wear.
Conan O'Brien
Right.
John Mulaney
So I got a ton of Gray Heather 5050 cotton T shirts from American Apparel and then khaki pants from J. Crew. I would wear that. And a. If it was cold, I'd wear a blue crewneck sweater. And it's the only thing I Wore for like four years.
Conan O'Brien
It's very interesting. When I started, which is 85, the old timers at that point were people that worked on counterculture television. And they were all they. They would go up into their office and smoke pot. They wore out of Pride T shirts and ripped jeans. And I remembered thinking, that's not me. I hadn't quite figured out who I was. But over time, I saw the value of I don't wanna look like a bum. And also, when I had kids, I liked looking like a dad.
John Mulaney
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
You know what I mean? I liked, for some reason, come in and I've got, you know, I would wear sometimes my tie from work home. And I would. They would see that when I worked, I was dressed up and I thought, yeah, I want them to have that idea of what a dad is.
John Mulaney
That's really funny.
Conan O'Brien
Someone who. Who is supplied Tom Brokaw suits by NBC and then wears makeup when he comes home.
John Mulaney
Yeah. Like a dad. Yeah. Having a lot of bass on.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. Eyeliner.
John Mulaney
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
Well, the show which I really love, everybody's live. It drops live On Wednesday nights. Is that correct?
John Mulaney
Yeah. Wednesday Night Live, March 12th. We started. We're done. May 26th.
Conan O'Brien
And it's really fun, if you can, to watch it.
John Mulaney
If you can.
Conan O'Brien
If you can watch it live. If you have. If it's. If it's in your schedule.
John Mulaney
Sorry, I thought, like, it's really fun if you can watch it. You know, I thought you were speaking in general. I was like, you can. Just. A hard plug would be nice at this point, if you don't mind. Check out one episode.
Conan O'Brien
A lot of people don't have access to television. You know that.
John Mulaney
Oh, right. Shame.
Conan O'Brien
Only for the 1%. Whatever. You're in a bubble, so. Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yes. Everyone go out and buy a new television.
John Mulaney
Let me tell you something. When I see you on the street in New York, I'm not shaking your hand.
Conan O'Brien
You don't like the way I've comported myself.
Sona Movsesian
Wait, this is your lawsuit. Here you guys go.
Conan O'Brien
Hey, here we go. N. That's not it. No, I think we need to. It can't be.
John Mulaney
It can't be defamation. It's. I needs to be over the rights to something.
Conan O'Brien
Yes, yes.
Sona Movsesian
Yeah, I'm going to sue you for that.
John Mulaney
You could sue him. Honestly, being like, oh, there's the show became. Was. We were integral to it. You know the way. Like. Like. Cause he'll be like, nah, it's my show. I do whatever I want with it. You know, he's the Don Henley. He's the Malcontent. Yeah, but you guys are the Don Felder.
Conan O'Brien
You're Don Felder and Joe Walsh. Yeah, and I can just.
Sona Movsesian
Schmidt.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. I'm just gonna leave you behind. And then you say, no, no, no. I was in the room when you came up with Hotel California.
John Mulaney
That's what you should say. I was in the room and I contributed content essential to the creation of the work.
Conan O'Brien
Hey, you were in the room when I said, do you think it'll fit? Oh, oh, you know you can fit it in, right? You fit it in.
John Mulaney
No one wants credit for it.
Conan O'Brien
And you, you were in the room and you want credit for that.
John Mulaney
You were integral to that.
Sona Movsesian
I both want credit for it, and I feel sexually harassed, so I assume both sides.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. I'm gonna let you go, sir, because we've.
John Mulaney
Nice to see you, man.
Conan O'Brien
You know, you're one of my favorites. You're one of my favorites as a person and as a maker of things.
John Mulaney
Thank you.
Conan O'Brien
And I. One of my all, all, all time favorites. And I'm just.
John Mulaney
I Love you very much as a person, and it's really nice to see you. And I've been thinking about you a lot, so.
Conan O'Brien
Wow.
John Mulaney
I hope.
Conan O'Brien
Thank you so much. Life is good.
John Mulaney
You seem good, which is great.
Conan O'Brien
Just before I went out to do the Oscars, I got a lot of texts from a lot of people. You sent me one of the most meaningful texts I've had in my life of quick text encouragement, the eggplant emoji, and said, I hope you can fit it in.
John Mulaney
I hope you can fit it in. You know what that means, right?
Conan O'Brien
No, I don't. I don't know what it means. Why would I violate myself with such a vegetable? No, you sent me an email. A text. I'm not kidding when I say it. It gave me, like, a 20% boost of confidence. So, seriously, thank you very much.
John Mulaney
I'm glad it meant something. You're the best. We were so excited. It was so exciting to watch that show with everything going on in the world. And I don't know for, like, that, like, it, like, it just felt during that it was like. Cause, you know, like, it's a bad time in the world and no one saw any of those movies, but, like, for that show, it was like, things seem happy and positive and we're acting like everyone saw these and we know what they are. You know what I mean? We're like, oh, my God, it won that one.
Conan O'Brien
That's great. Great.
John Mulaney
You know no one saw a thing, right?
Matt Gourley
No one did.
John Mulaney
No one saw a thing. But you really did put on a show that said, this is a cool night and we're going to have fun. And that is. That sounds like a very simple thing. But as we were talking about comedy, that is, like, just not quite always messagey. It's harder to do.
Conan O'Brien
All right, well, listen, thank you for saying that. Go work on your show and keep enjoying it, because I can tell you're having fun, and when you're having fun, you're golden.
John Mulaney
Thank you, man.
Conan O'Brien
Go in peace.
John Mulaney
Go in peace.
Conan O'Brien
Airbnb, man. That's what kids are doing now. Yeah. Blay, you like your Airbnb, don't you?
John Mulaney
Yeah, it's great. Because when I go on a trip, you know, I'm gonna go back to Michigan for about three weeks, and my place is just sitting there empty. Might as well make some scratch.
Matt Gourley
Why not?
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. Scratch is money, right? Yeah, I think so. Write some greenbacks. And it's nice because you're gonna go stay in Michigan. That's right. That's where you're from. But why not make some money off your pad? Exactly.
John Mulaney
I'm staying with my mom. No one's staying at my place. Let's get some money from it.
Conan O'Brien
And it's a good feeling to know that your place is being used, it's being enjoyed, and you're getting paid for it. Yeah. And I got a cool place. Yeah. You know, I went to this bachelor party last year in Miami. Remember when I went to that bachelor party, I heard it was wild and I wasn't even invited. I just, I saw that there was a bachelor party and I went in. I have. Nobody my age is getting married. Yeah. And it just was so great. But I made sure that I rented out my home before I went to the bachelor party that I wasn't invited to. And it was a good feeling. Great.
John Mulaney
Made some money.
Conan O'Brien
Not a great feeling to be asked to leave the bachelor party.
Matt Gourley
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
Think about it. If you host while you're traveling, it's a great way to offset some of the costs of your trip. And if you've got a big year of travel ahead of you, hosting's a pretty cool and unique way to make some money back. And then you can buy that special travel purse you want or man bag or purse. 2025 is the year to be financially savvy. So don't leave money on the table when you travel. Your home might be worth worth more than you think. Find out how much@airbnb.com host does it ever feel like you're a marketing professional.
John Mulaney
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Sona Movsesian
All right, we have a mystery to solve that maybe only you can solve.
Conan O'Brien
Okay, let's hear it.
Matt Gourley
Maybe I can do it.
Sona Movsesian
That's that can do American spirit.
Matt Gourley
Maybe I could do it.
Sona Movsesian
This is an article in Crack. Colorado park rangers are desperate to know why they have a photo of Conan O'Brien in their office. So it's a signed photo that's hanging in these Rangers office, and I guess they've changed personnel and there's enough turnover that nobody knows what the story of it is. And in the article, they're basically asking, can you shed some light on this.
Conan O'Brien
Well, first of all, it's an insult. It's a huge insult.
John Mulaney
I knew you were gonna say that.
Conan O'Brien
No, it's true.
John Mulaney
I knew it.
Conan O'Brien
If. If someone takes over an office and there's a signed photograph in there of, say, Jerry Seinfeld, no one says, who would want this?
Sona Movsesian
That's not what they're saying.
Conan O'Brien
Why would this be in here?
Sona Movsesian
They want to know the story.
Matt Gourley
What is the picture?
Conan O'Brien
What does the story.
Matt Gourley
What does the picture say?
Sona Movsesian
I'll show. Okay, here's the actual tweet. It's insulting the Colorado park rangers, Northeast region. Hey, Conan O'Brien. We realize you're a bit busy today. This was during your Oscars. But at some point, can you explain the sign pick at Roxboro State park in Littleton, Colorado? No one knows the story, and we would really love to. You clearly left your mark on the park, though. And it says, your autographed photo says, to the park rangers, best Conan O'Brien. And then they tweeted a picture of all the mountains with little orange pompadours.
Conan O'Brien
That's nice. Let me see the photograph. Let's see. So, okay, this is a photo of the bearded Conan to the park rangers. It's on the TV if you want to look up Conan. Oh, all right. Well, there I am in my handsome beard phase. Huh?
Matt Gourley
I have an idea of how this happened.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, go ahead.
Matt Gourley
When you know, you. You get a lot of fan mail.
Conan O'Brien
Yep.
Matt Gourley
And it's your job of your assistant to take the fan mail, get the autograph picture, and then do it sometimes. And this is my fault. I would take too long to show you the thing so you would do it. But at that point, it may have been like a year after we got the actual letter. So somebody may have sent a letter asking for it.
Conan O'Brien
So someone said, we here at the park ranger booth. Where is it? Colorado.
Sona Movsesian
Yes. And apparently it has made the local news there. They're wondering as well.
Conan O'Brien
Okay, well, big shocker. Maybe somebody who worked as a park ranger in this area of Colorado took a liking, for some reason we don't understand, to my comedy stylings and asked me if I would autograph something for the park rangers. And I sent it in, and they put it up on the wall, and it stayed there. And the fact that it's this big mystery is like someone shoving a hot poker up my ass. It's not. It's just insulting. I'm gonna go back to. It's insulting. We can't figure out, obviously, long before civilized man existed. I don't know if this will help.
Sona Movsesian
Or hurt, but the first ad on this page two is a big picture of an enlarged prostate. Has nothing to do with age. Just stop doing this one common thing. Can we play the local news segment that's on that page? There's a video there.
John Mulaney
Meanwhile, comedian Conan O'Brien hosted the show, leading to a very interesting question from.
Conan O'Brien
Colorado Parks and Wildlife.
John Mulaney
Where did this picture come from? So they posted this on X on.
Conan O'Brien
Sunday, a signed photo of Conan O'Brien.
John Mulaney
And asked this question, why does this exist? The signed photo is on the wall in the CPW office in Roxboro State park down near Littleton. They say no one knows the story.
Conan O'Brien
Behind it and they would like to.
John Mulaney
Find out why he left his mark at the office. Roxboro State Park.
Conan O'Brien
Okay.
John Mulaney
To the park rangers. That's awesome.
Matt Gourley
That is cool.
John Mulaney
I wonder if he stopped down there. If he was in town, he must have. And maybe an ex IM employee had it signed. Who knows? I love it.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. Who knows?
Sona Movsesian
Oh, my gosh.
Conan O'Brien
Let us know.
Sona Movsesian
This must be the most amazing place to live that they have literally no news.
Conan O'Brien
This is. I'm sorry, Roxboro State Park. And to those anchors, I'm with you. What?
John Mulaney
Yeah, what?
Conan O'Brien
Why is Conan here? The real question is. The question is why would someone like Conan. Why would someone cherish an autographed photo of Conan? What's that this doing here? That's what you say. That's what you say when there's like a weird crop circle that no one can explain. What does this mean? I'm sorry. Somebody in Roxboro State park once took a shining to.
Matt Gourley
My colleague, liked you enough to ask for a picture, but didn't take the picture with him or her.
Conan O'Brien
They didn't take it with them. It came and they were like, well, you got everything. Hey, what about the picture? You at. Eh, leave it it. Let's leave it. It'll be a real mystery. It'll probably end up on the news.
Matt Gourley
Why is Conan here?
Conan O'Brien
Oh, I've got. We've got beef now, Colorado. We've got beef coming for you. I'm coming for you. I don't even know what that means. I'm coming for you. I know.
Matt Gourley
What do you mean?
Conan O'Brien
What do you mean you're going to.
Sona Movsesian
Now there's another mystery.
Conan O'Brien
That is another mystery.
Sona Movsesian
What did Conan O'Brien mean when he said we're coming for you?
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, exactly. Oh, wow. That is hilarious.
Sona Movsesian
That's good. Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien. Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley produced by me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow Theme song by the White Stripes Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away, Jimmy. Our Supervising Producer is Aaron Blair and our Associate Talent Producer is Jennifer. Samples, engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the TeamCoco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign up@siriusxm.com Conan and if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend. Wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
Conan O'Brien
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Podcast Summary: Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend – Episode: John Mulaney Returns Once More
Host and Guest Introduction
In this episode of Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend, Conan O’Brien welcomes the exceptionally talented comedian and actor, John Mulaney, who has recently launched his Netflix talk show, Everybody's Live with John Mulaney. The conversation promises a blend of humor, nostalgia, and insightful discussions about the entertainment industry.
1. Lighthearted Banter and Friendship Goals
The episode kicks off with Conan and John engaging in playful banter about forming a comedic and lasting friendship. Their chemistry is evident as they joke about the idea of getting into humorous legal disputes.
Conan O’Brien [05:59]: "I need to lawyer up. This is gonna be a few phone calls. I'll take you on any day. I'll like us to be in a long, protracted lawsuit that nobody understands."
John Mulaney [06:10]: "I'd love it. And we start having to refer to each other as Mr. Mulaney and Mr. O'Brien."
Their exchange sets a jovial tone, highlighting their mutual respect and camaraderie.
2. "Dab of the Decade" Recognition
Matt Gourley, a recurring guest, congratulates Conan on being named "Dab of the Decade," a humorous accolade voted by fans.
Matt Gourley [01:49]: "I wanna just congratulate you because you got something called dab of the decade."
Conan O’Brien [02:04]: "Wait now, wait a minute. Explain this to me."
The conversation humorously explores the absurdity of the accolade, complete with Conan's self-deprecating remarks.
3. Nostalgia for Saturday Night Live and Late Night Shows
Conan and John reminisce about their experiences at Saturday Night Live (SNL) and late-night television, comparing the chaotic yet creative environments.
Conan O’Brien [07:18]: "But then they all go their separate ways from David Geffen. The documentary goes on for another bunch of years, and then they're all. The Eagles break up..."
John Mulaney [15:35]: "Yes. If we thought of an idea and it wasn't just anti Establishment. No, it was just really ideas that delighted us."
They discuss the intense behind-the-scenes dynamics and the pressure to constantly innovate in the entertainment industry.
4. Broadway Dreams and Stage Experiences
Conan expresses his long-held dream of participating in Broadway productions, inspired by John’s successful Broadway stint.
Conan O’Brien [43:38]: "Something you've done that I've always been curious about is you've done Broadway. And I have always been curious about it."
John Mulaney [45:00]: "And it's just I've always imagined the part that seems that I've romanticized is walking to the theater like late in the afternoon."
John shares insights from his five-week run in the Simon Rich play All In, highlighting the collaborative and festive atmosphere of Broadway.
5. Fashion and Personal Style
A significant portion of the conversation delves into the importance of personal style, with both hosts appreciating each other's sartorial choices. John credits his polished look to lessons learned from his father, emphasizing how dressing well can impact one's presence and success.
Conan O’Brien [49:30]: "I think you put things together in a very thoughtful, crafted way, and it's all of a piece. Like, it makes sense to me that you dress as John Mulaney."
John Mulaney [50:19]: "It just set a boundary of. I'm like, just one man. It's why I love lawsuits. One man dressing down another."
They discuss how attire can influence perceptions and relationships, especially in professional settings.
6. Memorable Encounters: Paul McCartney Story
Conan recounts a fascinating encounter with Paul McCartney at Roxboro State Park in Littleton, Colorado. During a casual chat, Conan boldly critiques McCartney’s musical evolution, leading to an unforgettable interaction.
Conan O’Brien [38:44]: "I told him the group they had before they were the Beatles was the best. And everything after that was shit. And then I knew to walk away."
John Mulaney [40:24]: "I bet his head was spinning."
This anecdote showcases Conan's unfiltered humor and John’s appreciation for such fearless comedic exchanges.
7. Insights into Live Television and Show Production
The duo delves into the complexities of producing live television shows. John praises Conan’s ability to maintain creativity under pressure, drawing parallels between their respective shows.
John Mulaney [43:38]: "But you've done that twice now."
Conan O’Brien [41:04]: "He wanted to show in its entirety a cut sketch that Bob Newhart starred in called Dave's Superstore."
They discuss the challenges of live broadcasting, including last-minute changes and the importance of adaptability.
8. The Mystery of the Conan O’Brien Photo at Roxboro State Park
Towards the end of the episode, Sona Movsesian introduces an intriguing mystery about a signed photograph of Conan hanging in the office of Colorado Park Rangers at Roxboro State Park. The team speculates humorously about how this might have happened.
Sona Movsesian [60:05]: "Colorado park rangers are desperate to know why they have a photo of Conan O'Brien in their office."
Conan O’Brien [62:05]: "Maybe somebody who worked as a park ranger in this area of Colorado took a liking, for some reason we don't understand, to my comedy stylings and asked me if I would autograph something for the park rangers."
The segment adds an element of mystery and humor, wrapping up with the hosts playfully debating the origins of the photo.
9. Closing Remarks and Final Banter
Conan and John wrap up the episode with more lighthearted jokes and reflections on their friendship. They reiterate their mutual admiration and tease future interactions, maintaining the episode’s warm and friendly atmosphere.
Conan O’Brien [56:00]: "You're one of my favorites as a person and as a maker of things."
John Mulaney [56:14]: "I Love you very much as a person, and it's really nice to see you."
Their heartfelt exchange underscores the podcast's mission to forge genuine friendships beyond Hollywood façades.
Conclusion
This episode of Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend offers listeners a delightful blend of comedy, heartfelt conversations, and behind-the-scenes insights into the lives of two comedy giants. From nostalgic anecdotes about SNL and Broadway ambitions to playful speculations about mysterious photographs, Conan and John provide a captivating and entertaining dialogue that both longtime fans and new listeners will appreciate.
Notable Quotes:
Conan O’Brien [05:59]: "I need to lawyer up. This is gonna be a few phone calls. I'll take you on any day."
John Mulaney [38:44]: "I told him the group they had before they were the Beatles was the best. And everything after that was shit."
Conan O’Brien [51:26]: "I think it's connected."
John Mulaney [50:19]: "It's why I love lawsuits. One man dressing down another."
This comprehensive summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting key discussions, humorous exchanges, and the evolving friendship between Conan O’Brien and John Mulaney.