Jüs’d

Summary

Podcast Title: Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend
Host/Author: Team Coco & Earwolf
Episode: Jüs’d
Release Date: July 3, 2025

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Introduction & Guest Introduction

In the episode titled "Jüs’d," Conan O’Brien welcomes John, an entrepreneur from Reno, Nevada, who co-owns a juice bar business with his brother. The conversation kicks off with a humorous exchange about Conan's recent indulgence in Fruity Pebbles cereal, setting a lighthearted and playful tone for the episode.

Conan O'Brien [02:01]: "It's like I mainlined something that's much purer than crack cocaine."

The Art of Juicing: Freshness and Health

John delves into the core of his business, emphasizing the importance of raw and fresh ingredients in his juice bars. He highlights the growing trend of green juices and explains how his establishments differentiate themselves by focusing on nutrient-dense ingredients like spinach, kale, cucumbers, and celery.

John [03:47]: "Raw and fresh is what sets us apart."

Conan expresses his personal connection to green juices, sharing his own homemade smoothie routine. However, he humorously admits that his recent Fruity Pebbles binge was an exception to his healthy habits.

Conan O'Brien [04:17]: "I make a smoothie for myself in the morning using, like, three fistfuls of baby spinach."

Debate: Beets vs. Celery

A significant portion of the episode revolves around a playful debate on the merits of beets versus celery. Conan shares his disdain for beets, describing the intense flavor as likened to "World War Three" in the mouth, while Sona Movsesian defends her love for borscht.

Conan O'Brien [06:24]: "It's got shit in it. So, yeah, feces in it. Because it's a good rouge."

John steps in to support Sona, advocating for the versatility of beets in various preparations like pickling, boiling, and juicing. The conversation navigates through comedic tangents, including Conan's mock frustration and inventive suggestions to mask the strong taste of beets.

John [10:18]: "You can pickle them, you can boil them."

Business Dynamics: Working with Family

John opens up about the challenges and rewards of running a business with his older brother, Adam. He candidly advises against partnering with family, citing inevitable conflicts but also acknowledges the deep bond they share.

John [11:02]: "Don't go into business with your family. It's never a good idea."

Conan humorously likens Adam to an ingredient in a smoothie, poking fun at the sometimes mundane yet essential roles family members play in business operations.

Humorous Exchange: Celery and Beets

The trio continues their spirited discussion on vegetables, with Conan questioning the very essence of celery and poking fun at its composition.

Conan O'Brien [08:21]: "Is it anything? What is celery? It's just water that somehow managed to form into a stick, isn't it?"

John elaborates on the nutritional aspects of celery, emphasizing its high water content and essential minerals, while Conan playfully mocks the idea of celery as merely water.

Unique Personal Traits: Webbed Feet Conversation

A standout moment in the episode is the revelation that both Conan and John share the uncommon trait of having webbed feet. This quirky similarity sparks a humorous and relatable discussion about swimming abilities and personal identity.

John [23:09]: "We share something, which is that we both have webbed feet."

Conan explores the humorous side effects of having webbed feet, describing how it affects his swimming technique and daily life.

Conan O'Brien [23:48]: "I swim in circles. One foot's much more powerful than the other. It looks like I'm circling the drain whenever I go swimming."

John takes the conversation further by showing his webbed feet tattoo, adding a visual element to the dialogue and reinforcing their unique bond.

Conclusion & Reflections

As the episode wraps up, Conan reflects on the enjoyable and unconventional conversation, praising John for his entrepreneurial spirit and the innovative approach to his juice business. He expresses interest in visiting Reno to try John's juice bars, ending the episode on a positive and supportive note.

Conan O'Brien [28:46]: "Well, that's a terrible commercial for your business. Lots of chocolate. Yeah, I just basically want a milkshake."

Key Takeaways

• Entrepreneurship: John's journey in starting and sustaining a juice bar business highlights the challenges and rewards of entrepreneurship, especially when involving family dynamics.
• Health & Nutrition: The discussion underscores the importance of fresh and raw ingredients in juicing, aligning with current health trends.
• Humor in Everyday Life: Conan's comedic approach to everyday topics like cereal indulgence, vegetable preferences, and unique personal traits adds relatability and entertainment value.
• Unique Connections: Discovering shared uncommon traits fosters genuine connections, aligning with the podcast's mission to build lasting friendships.

This episode of "Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend" seamlessly blends humor with insightful conversations about business, health, and personal quirks, making it both entertaining and thought-provoking for listeners.

Transcript

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[Conan O'Brien]

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[Sona Movsesian]

Truth, baby.

[Conan O'Brien]

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[Sona Movsesian]

Conan o' Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com callkonan okay, let's get started.

[Matt Gourley]

Hi, John. Welcome to Conan O' Brien needs a fan.

[Conan O'Brien]

How are you, John? Good to see you.

[John]

I'm amazing. How are you guys?

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, we'll decide if you're amazing or not, John. That's our decision. We are the judge, jury and sexecutioner, John. That made no sense and I apologize. Where are you coming to us from right now, John?

[John]

Located in Reno, Nevada, just north of you guys.

[Conan O'Brien]

I was gonna go by your houseplant behind you and your guitar. That was Reno. I'm coming in hot and I apologize, John, but I just had some very sugary cereal and the company that makes Fruity Pebbles sent us in a couple of boxes of Fruity Pebbles and I had three bowls of Fruity Pebbles with whole milk.

[Matt Gourley]

Yes, that's my favorite cereal.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's, it's out there. There's tons of them. And I, it's like I mainlined something that's much purer than crack cocaine.

[John]

Big bowls or small bowls? How much volume are we talking?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, how dare you ask me a question, John, you are. I came in way too hot, John, and that's a fair question. I would say a medium sized bowl, a healthy sized bowl. And that's why I'm revving a little bit. And I blame the people who make the delicious and fantastic Fruity Pebbles. John, let's get to the point. You come from Reno? What is it you do? Who are you? Tell us about this man named John.

[John]

Yeah, absolutely. Born and raised in Reno, Nevada, for better or worse. And. Yeah, started a couple juice bars with my older brother.

[Conan O'Brien]

You and your older brother own some juice bars in Reno, Nevada?

[John]

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. We. We started him after I dropped out of college. We started them when I was 19 years old.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[John]

And I'm 32 years young now. And how are they doing?

[Conan O'Brien]

Is this a viable. Are you making your living off these juice bars?

[John]

I am making my living off of these juice bars.

[Conan O'Brien]

Congratulations. That's very cool. You're an entrepreneur. This is. This is very cool.

[John]

Yeah, yeah, it's exciting. It's a lot of smoothies for a living. But, you know, I'm constantly, constantly making and serving smoothies, you know, year after year. But, you know, that's. There's worse problems to have on this.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I don't know that there are, but. John, tell us about these smoothies, these juices that you make. Pretend I'm a potential investor, or let's. Let's simplify it. A customer. What makes these juices or smoothies so great? Sell me on these.

[John]

Absolutely, yeah. So raw and fresh is the. Is what sets us apart. I would say, you know, we join sort of the juice barf craze. Everybody's getting green juice. Do you guys drink any green juice?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah, I like a green juice every now and then. And I do have a habit of making. I've been doing it for a while. I make a smoothie for myself in the morning using, like, three fistfuls of baby spinach. And then I'd put some protein powder in there and some fruit and.

[John]

And Fruity Pebbles.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, the Fruity Pebbles was an aberration. I don't do that a lot, but they sent the Fruity Pebbles and it is my. It's. I can't help it. It's.

[Matt Gourley]

You're teaching every. Every product that they could just send it to you and you're going to use it no matter what it is.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, so far, yes. Yes. Every time. I mean, we get sent a lot of fresh medicines and antibiotics from the pharmaceutical companies, and I just immediately inject them into my body without even knowing what they are. So send us whatever you got.

[Sona Movsesian]

Send us some juice.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, but. But the juice is. I. So I'm familiar with. It's a good way to get some good stuff into you and. And it is. What's wrong with that? You're sugar crashing. I know.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's just the wording. Get some good stuff.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, it is. I mean, when am I going to eat a couple of handfuls of spinach? That's not going to happen. I'm not Popeye. That's not going to happen. I'm not with olive oil sailing the seven seas. That's not going to happen in my life. But if I put it into a kind of a tasty vanilla tinged juice or smoothie that's going into my body. So, uh, what kind of juices do you have? What do you recommend?

[John]

Um, yes. So we're all over the spectrum. Uh, you know, like real health juicing is just like. No, fruit is not that much sugar. You can have a little bit, but like, mainly you're talking like spinach, kale, cucumbers, celery. Now, what makes just all the boring.

[Conan O'Brien]

Stuff, what makes that palatable? How do you take all that stuff and make it drinkable?

[John]

Um, you know, you know, we sell things like shots and stuff, and I tell people it's just like taking any other shot. You just get it down. You know, like cucumber, kale, spinach juice is always going to taste.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's really funny that you're serving a product for people to eat and you're saying, just get it down quickly and ignore the taste. Do you know what I mean? Can you imagine a restaurant where they're like, just get it in you fast. Just get it in fast. And then just, just hold it down. You're going to want to vomit. But hold it down.

[John]

Once in a blue moon. We get like bad Yelp reviews there where they go like, this product tastes like, I don't understand what the hype is about. And we always respond like, it's supposed to taste like that. It's really good for it.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's got shit in it. So, yeah, feces in it. Because it's a good rouge.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, God.

[Conan O'Brien]

Are there. There are some things that I'm suspicious of that shouldn't. Like, I don't like. Well, I know beets are good for me, but I don't like beets.

[Matt Gourley]

I have a beef with beets.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I do too.

[Matt Gourley]

Because they look like candy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Matt Gourley]

They look like watermelon. They. They're false advertising.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right, Right.

[Matt Gourley]

It looks like absolute ass.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Yes.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. Yes. And yet it's the staple crop in Russia. Right. And. And people swear by beets. I. I'm with you on this. Beets look red and wonderful. And inviting. And it looks like you're going to bite into the sweetest cherry in the world. And you bite into it, and suddenly your mouth is World War Three.

[Sona Movsesian]

I disagree. I like borscht a lot.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah?

[John]

Wow.

[Conan O'Brien]

I mean, you grew up in a different country, in a different time, a different political ideology.

[Sona Movsesian]

What does that have to do with liking borscht?

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, you grew up under the cold iron boot of an authoritarian regime.

[John]

That's not true.

[Sona Movsesian]

That is not true.

[Conan O'Brien]

So back to you, John. And I apologize for my compatriots bursting in like that. I've made it very clear to them they shouldn't speak. And yet they do. And yet I continue to invite them in and encourage them to speak and pay them to speak. John, I'm still on a Fruity Pebbles high right now.

[Matt Gourley]

I'm jealous.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, you know what you should do? Make a really healthy shake, but then throw a handful of Fruity Pebbles in there and you've got a delicious shake.

[Matt Gourley]

That's what he was saying. He said that earlier.

[Conan O'Brien]

Did you say that earlier? I left out for a second.

[Sona Movsesian]

You were paying attention, John. Sorry.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm sorry.

[John]

You'll be new on our list. Oh, no, of course. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. I have a question. Celery. Is celery anything?

[Sona Movsesian]

That's a good question.

[John]

No, I'm sorry.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is it anything? What is celery?

[John]

Celery is definitely something.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's just water that somehow managed to form into a stick, isn't it?

[John]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Isn't it water?

[John]

Sprinkle a little salt.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's water that took a class and got hypnotized and thinks it's a stick, but it's not.

[Matt Gourley]

Beats. It's not telling you anything different.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, it's not telling you anything, but.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

What is. Does. Does there. Is there any nutritional value in celery? Let's say I'm in a shipwreck, I go overboard, I get into a little raft, and all it has is celery. Do I survive after 30 days or am I dead?

[John]

I would say emphatically no. You do not survive, because. What's. What's in celery with just celery? Well, it's got a lot of water and water and sodium and potassium and. Yeah, I mean, it's got nothing, but.

[Matt Gourley]

It'S a nice vessel.

[John]

It's dipping. Peanut butter. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You know.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, yes. It's like a cracker. You don't mind a tasteless cracker, but it. Then you put some peanut butter on, it's fine. But in and of itself. Why would you add celery to any. And look, I know that there are some listeners right now saying, why is Conan going down this celery road? Yeah, I. I think he's lost his noodle. He's gone. You know, he's been pebbled. Yeah, he's been pebbled. But, no, I think I'm onto something. Isn't celery a waste of time? Why put it in anything?

[John]

Well, you're right. It is mostly water. And then while you were saying that, I was thinking that, you know, it does form into celery, and then we technically are turning it back into a water product to put it back into juice.

[Conan O'Brien]

But does it have roughage? Because roughage has its value, but celery.

[John]

Has tons of value. You want all that potassium, you want all that sodium? It is a great source of water.

[Conan O'Brien]

I have a bagel.

[Matt Gourley]

I like that crisp crunch where the beets just let you down.

[John]

Fiber, too.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, fiber. Roughish. I said roughage.

[Sona Movsesian]

I'll take celery over beets any day.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, me too. I'm gonna edit it. Correct.

[Sona Movsesian]

But I said I will take beets over celery. Yeah, I'm with you on celery.

[John]

Also, can I add? You guys are crazy for hating beets. I'm team Sona here, because beets are great.

[Sona Movsesian]

All right, John.

[John]

You can pickle them, you can boil them.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[John]

You can juice them.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what? It's funny.

[Sona Movsesian]

Possibilities are endless.

[Conan O'Brien]

I hate a beat, but when you say pickle it, suddenly I'm down. Let it rot for a little bit, and then I'm all in this in the basement, and then I'm ready to go. No, if you don't like a food, pickling, it doesn't make you like it more. John, I'm sorry. I've never been angrier at anyone in my life.

[Sona Movsesian]

I understand feelings about celery, but I agree with you.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're in business with your brother now. I love my brothers, but if I went into business with them, there'd be gunplay pretty quickly. There'd be shots fired. I can't. Do you get along with your brother? And what's your brother's.

[John]

My brother's name is Adam. Yeah, we started the business together. And my number one piece of advice is, you got it perfectly right. Don't go into business with your family. It's never a good idea. Does he add.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is he additive? Does he add much to it? Or is he sort of this celery in your shake. Is he just this. He's there. He has a little bit of sodium and a lot of water and, like, you could do without him, but whatever. He's here. Be honest. Is he. Is your brother Celery is Adam Celery.

[John]

I would like. I would like to think I'm the beets in this family. Versatile, delicious, and then. Yeah, I would like to think he's the cell.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[John]

A little bit boring, a little plain, you know. No, he's great. Yeah. And boy, do we fight. You know, we've developed some skills over the years of not, like screaming at each other in front of customers and staff. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

When people go to a juice bar, they don't want to see two guys screaming at each other. It's supposed to be. You're like a yoga studio. You're supposed to represent this calm, self nurturing. Exactly.

[Matt Gourley]

What do you fight over in the juice world?

[John]

Oh, my gosh. You wouldn't believe it. Recipes. How much chocolate we should add to something. Who's.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

Who's more and who's less chocolate, you or Adam?

[John]

I would say I'm probably more chocolate and he's probably less chocolate.

[Conan O'Brien]

Can I say something? I'm going to jump in here. And I know that's unusual for me to talk a lot on these things, but I'd say if you're using beets, go very heavy on the chocolate. Anything you can to kill the beat and force the beat.

[Matt Gourley]

Agreed.

[John]

Chocolate combo. You would be surprised. It's. It's. No, no, it's.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, it's incredible. So, banana. How do you feel about a banana? Is that too much sugar?

[John]

Love bananas. Not too much sugar at all. It's an evolutionary sugar. It's the kind of sugar you want. So. Yeah. All types of bananas.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, if it comes from a tree or a plant, it's gotta be good for us.

[Matt Gourley]

That's right.

[John]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wait a minute. Some poisons come from trees and plants. That was a stupid thing I just said.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, I think food wise.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I should have qualified. Unless they're poisonous of certain poison berries. I'm just trying to be safe and make sure that no kids out there get hurt.

[Sona Movsesian]

I love bananas.

[Conan O'Brien]

A lot of kids listen to this podcast and then do immediately what I said. A lot of young children.

[Sona Movsesian]

Beethoven's favorite fruit.

[Matt Gourley]

Banana.

[John]

Banana.

[Matt Gourley]

Banana.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. John, not only do I apologize, but you. I give you permission to sue us.

[John]

Oh, great.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I will not contest the. I will not contest.

[Matt Gourley]

You know, Dr. Dre's favorite food is.

[Conan O'Brien]

What's that? Beets Beats by Pedray.

[Matt Gourley]

John, you can't do the banana joke and then get on me for that.

[Sona Movsesian]

Beats were not good, huh? It wasn't that good.

[Conan O'Brien]

John, is there any way that I can cut. I can just talk to John myself and these two.

[John]

I would love that.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, I wish that this was. There was a section. There was a button where I could push and you two were ejected into space. This whole side of the room was ejected.

[Matt Gourley]

I wish that's.

[Sona Movsesian]

And you need Eduardo and you need Adam.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, really? I need Eduardo. Oh, where were you in 93? Eduardo? I don't remember you. I'll reverse the Egyptians spinning the dials back then there when I was killing it in late night. SurveyMonkey can help you uncover what the people you care about think. Whether you're launching a new product or app or in charge of creating great customer experiences, success comes from caring enough to ask your audience the right questions. Questions like Is SurveyMonkey a good name for a company? I'm sorry, had to get one in there. SurveyMonkey is way more powerful than you might realize. Writing good survey questions is very hard. You ask the wrong thing, you end up with unhelpful answers. Survey Monkey is like having access to a survey scientist on demand. I'm sure they're not called survey scientists, but whatever, it doesn't matter. It uses AI powered technology to pick the best questions in the best formats to get your insights that you can trust. And after you send your survey, SurveyMonkey doesn't just show you the responses. It uses powerful AI to dig in deep, find patterns and spot trends. Whether you're a business owner trying to understand what your customers want, a marketing manager collecting feedback on a campaign idea, or part of an HR team working to build a happier workplace, or someone trying to find a good name for your company, you can get real insights with SurveyMonkey. Visit surveymonkey.com results I'm going to go out on a ledge here and say in the olden days people used to go on Amazon to get very specific things. You know, I want to get a cuckoo clock. It's made of caramel, hardened caramel. And they'd go on Amazon and they'd look it up and they'd order it. But you know what they're forgetting? Amazon is the go to destination for both everyday essentials and those last minute must haves. From detergents to diapers, cookies to pain relievers. Find it all on Amazon and save time. Remember the old Days. I gotta get to this store and buy my aspirin. No. Hello, Amazon. Check out Amazon Basics and Amazon Essentials for quality products you'll love next time you run out of coffee, need a new lipstick, or realize you're out of light bulbs, guess what? Amazon has you covered. Save the everyday with deals from Amazon. Uncrustables are the best part of the sandwich. I mean, we've been thinking that. Why does he say it, right, Sona?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah. Like, who needs a crust?

[Conan O'Brien]

You've been saying that since the day I met you 15 years ago, Sonny. You said, who needs the crust? And I said, first of all, my name's Conan, you know. Anyway, it's the perfect grab and go for all of life's moments with unbeatable soft bread and a variety of flavors like, well, peanut butter and grape jelly, peanut butter and strawberry jam. Hello. Peanut butter and raspberry spread and so much more. No mess, no prep, just thaw and eat. Yep. Get them in the freezer aisle today. I love summertime. Some of my happiest times of my life when I was a kid.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Ice cream.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah. Sunscreen.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sunscreen. And then more sunscreen. And putting sunscreen. For some reason, that eludes me on the ice cream. The best summer moments are the ones that stick with you forever. They really are.

[John]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And since 1975, Miller Lite has been part of our summer memories. It really has.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Merrill Light is brewed for taste. Simply put, it just hits different.

[John]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I've told you about my summer moments. What about you, son? Any great summer moments?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, you know, I like to crack open that cooler and I pull.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, no. You open the.

[Sona Movsesian]

I open the.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you have an air sealed cooler? So you have a sealed cooler that you have to crack open?

[Sona Movsesian]

I seal, I crack it open. And then I take out that ice cold Miller Light.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then you crack that open.

[Sona Movsesian]

And then I crack that open, too. And I just. I'm just cracking open things and I'm just knocking them back.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then it's time to go to a. There's a secret code, and you got to crack that code. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. I'm a guy that likes to be lean.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And it's a great choice. Miller Lite, great taste. 96 calories. Go to millerlight.com conan to find delivery options near you. Or you can pick up some Mirror Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. If they don't sell Miller Lite, they don't sell beer. Cheers to 50 years at Miller time. Hey, really, gang?

[Sona Movsesian]

Cheers.

[Conan O'Brien]

Congrats. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 g per to bounce. I. I think you are right. Hold on. I'm not crashing. This is. No, this is me being thoughtful. Sometimes I take pauses to create the illusion that I'm thoughtful.

[John]

I see.

[Conan O'Brien]

John, there is a juice movement in this country and it sounds like you have ridden this wave perfectly. People love their juices. Now, what kind of equipment do you use? What kind of blender do you use? And some might say. Do you use a juicer? What's that big juicer everybody use?

[Matt Gourley]

Cuisinart.

[Sona Movsesian]

Breville. Breville has that one Juicer.

[Conan O'Brien]

Are you getting money from Breville? What are you getting?

[Sona Movsesian]

No, but I'd like them to send me a juicer.

[Conan O'Brien]

Don't. Don't do that. We're not going to be.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, me too. If we're doing this.

[John]

Breville.

[Sona Movsesian]

Breville.

[Conan O'Brien]

Breville. Breville. Breville. The nutribullet. I use a nutribullet and take that too. And again, I am not. We do not. No. I refuse any compensation. That's bad. We should not do that. And if any of that stuff comes to us, I'm gonna have it destroyed. Except for Fruity pebble, which I will eat immediately. What's your blender of choice?

[John]

Absolutely. Yeah. So blenders, we're just using classic Vitamixes to make our juice. We're using two different machines. We're using a huge cold press machine, which is essentially just like a hydraulic pincher. It just squeezes fruits and vegetables together. For, like, softer fruits and vegetables, we use a machine called the Auger Masticating. What an agar master.

[Conan O'Brien]

Say it again. Auger masticating.

[John]

Yeah. So in our case, we're using a dual agar masticating juicer.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God. That's like a torture device. Juventok. And then they unveil it. This is the dual auger masticating process. I'll tell you. I'll tell you whatever you want to know. Sorry, that was a little flight of fancy of mine. Continue, please.

[John]

But, yeah, so for our volume, we are using huge cold press machines. Yeah. And it's really just pinching. It's really just a pinch machine. You wouldn't want to get, like, hands caught in there.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, it could be.

[John]

I wouldn't want to get hands.

[Conan O'Brien]

Can I just say one thing? It would result in my death, but it might be kind of erotic to fall into a pinching. Machine.

[Sona Movsesian]

What?

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, your body's being pinched and you're like, ooh. And then you realize, oh, it's over for me. I'm being turned into a gym.

[Matt Gourley]

But then there's like a glass below that. There's just all this Conan juice that comes out.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I'm telling you something, you do a lot worse than Conan juice if you're doing it right now.

[Matt Gourley]

I don't know. That's true.

[John]

I feel like some people would be willing to give it a try.

[Conan O'Brien]

Has anyone ever fallen into. Into a juicer and been killed? And if they had, would you sell that juice?

[John]

That's a good question. I would. We would probably.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's not a good question, John. It's a stupid question. You're insane if you think that's a good question. Has anyone fallen into the juicer and then been turned into a juice and then have you sold that juice? That was my question.

[John]

You would need to fall very thin because you have. You have a very small amount of area to get in. But I'm willing to give it a shot. I'd say.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I'm going to say, John, let me ask you a question. Let's say I did. I had an accident and I fel. I was visiting you in Reno because I was there to gamble and lost big. Got depressed and jumped into your juicer to end it all. The juice that resulted would be pure Conan juice. Wouldn't you be tempted to sell that for a lot of money? Because just think about it, the essence of Conan o' Brien in a juice. I think that would be worth blood and guts. No, but that'd be the essence of my. Whatever it is that makes me me. The genius, the.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, no, no, no, no, no. That sounds. Sounds gross. That sounds good.

[John]

That's what I was saying.

[Sona Movsesian]

You would close up your shop completely forever.

[John]

Yeah. What I was going to ask is if we. Let's say we bottle and sell it in 16 ounce increments, like how much would we charge for Conan? Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

How many 16 ounce lots can you get out of a big man?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Six foot four, 191 pound male. Boy, you get a lot of people coming back. There's a red hair in my juice. I'm sorry.

[Sona Movsesian]

Come on.

[John]

I bet we get 50 to 60 bottles. That's what it is. We probably sell them for what, eight to ten dollars each or something like that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Eight to ten dollars? I am a seminal figure. No, it's like tequila, but instead of a worm, there's a red hair and.

[Matt Gourley]

You got to drink the red hair. It's carrot juice with red hair.

[Conan O'Brien]

There's a red hair and a little. Ivan.

[Sona Movsesian]

$10.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, John. This has been terrible conversation. I mean, from beginning to end, just insanity. But I've enjoyed it. I really have. And I'm wondering if you have a question for me. How can I help you?

[John]

I do. Conan. So we share something, which is that we both have webbed feet.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, excuse me. I will not be. Let's be specific. On one foot, I have two toes that are joined by some webbing.

[Sona Movsesian]

So they're webbed.

[John]

Me, too. That's. I feel like that's called webbed feet. Yeah, that's what I have.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, what I'm saying is it's not. I have these two duck feet. There's two toes joined by one web. Is that. Does that mean I'm just in the webbed foot category?

[Matt Gourley]

I have a family member with similar thing.

[John]

That's what we in the industry call it. That's a webbed foot.

[Matt Gourley]

You're in the web foot industry?

[John]

Yeah, that's what our club calls it, anyway.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. So, yes, I am part of that club.

[Sona Movsesian]

Just be proud of it. Yeah, it's a cool thing.

[Matt Gourley]

I swim better.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, except it's just one foot, so I swim in circles. One foot's much more powerful than the other. It looks like I'm circling the drain whenever I go swimming. Okay, I'm sorry. Go ahead, John. So you have webbed feet, as do I do.

[John]

And I don't know if this would be of interest to you guys, and I also don't know if I'm flexible enough to show you, but I actually got the sort of famous webbed foot tattoo a couple years ago.

[Matt Gourley]

What's the famous.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know what that is.

[Matt Gourley]

Let's see.

[John]

Can I show you? Is that okay?

[Conan O'Brien]

Can I get my best.

[John]

I did not take care of my feet before this, so forgive whatever that is, please.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's okay. That's all right. We can clean this up and edit it. Oh, that's really funny.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, you're real webbed. That is so cool.

[Matt Gourley]

So for the listener, he's got a little icon of scissors with a dotted line, like, cut here.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's so cool.

[Sona Movsesian]

You should do that, too.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now, I'm. Have you ever been tempted to get the webbing cut? I would think it'd be a very simple procedure. And then your toes are separated.

[John]

So I heard this. I don't. I'm not a doctor. I make smoothies for a living.

[Conan O'Brien]

Are you sure?

[John]

You're not a doctor, but I heard that you can't anymore once you reach the age of, like, post being a baby, whatever the scientific term for that is. You. They can't cut them anymore because your nerves are, like, too ingrained in there, and then you'll bleed to death.

[Conan O'Brien]

What?

[John]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know who you're talking to, but I'm sure there's some way to stop the bleeding by sewing it up. But why mess with what God has done is what I say. And I say that knowing that a year from now, I'm going to have radical facial surgery so I can stay in show business.

[John]

But I had a webbed foot question for you, Conan, which is that I don't know if you promulgate. I don't know if you tell people a lot about your webbed feed, but.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, clearly you knew about it, so I guess I have mentioned it.

[John]

I didn't even know that that's true. You are familiar.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think it came up in a. I forgot. I think it came up somewhere.

[John]

Yeah, yeah, you mentioned it in a podcast. And I was like, oh, my God. Conan and I have something in common. But my question for you is like. Like, people always say, are you a fast swimmer? And I go, oh, yeah, Michael Phelps. Blah, blah, blah. But, like, that answer is always a little boring. So I was hoping you could help me come up with some better answers to what to respond with. People ask, like, are you a fast swimmer? What's it. You know, even what's it like? What are some good excuses I could make?

[Conan O'Brien]

I mean, the only thing that comes to my mind is you. I was born this way, and it's not funny, you know, and then really act offended and hurt and walk out of the room and act like you've been, and then come back in the room and then walk out again. That's one way to go. The other way to go is with my quick. Is it on both feet or just one?

[John]

I technically have them on both.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, see that. Cause my joke is I just swim in circles. Cause it's just one foot, right? It's a pretty funny joke, but we already did that.

[John]

Oh, that is great.

[Conan O'Brien]

I would just go with it. I think it's a yes. And so are you a fast swimmer? Yes, I'm incredibly fast. And it's like, there's an Evinrude outboard motor on my ass. I can swim at great speeds. I would go that route. Possibly. There's all kinds of stuff you could do.

[Sona Movsesian]

Aquaman.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're Like Aquaman.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[John]

Oh, yeah. Oh, I could go the Aquaman route. Maybe I could get like a bronze Olympic medal and say I like place not first, but like, place something or something.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Get a bronze. And actually, you can say there's one after bronze, which is a dense wood or a boss. Then there's one after that there's a mahogany, and then after that there's a balsa. But, yeah, I would just go with it. I would always go with the riff. I say, so, yes, say I'm an incredible swimmer. And then always allude to this sexual prowess. And people don't have to know what it means, but kind of, you know. And you know what they say about guys with webbed feet.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And do the old Groucho at the eyebrows that they have a web stick.

[John]

Yeah. Webbed balls.

[Conan O'Brien]

Excuse me. What's going on here? I was trying to keep it in the mysterious land and. John, you went totally into the gutter with the help of Matt Gorley. John, I'm proud of you. I'm proud that you, as a young man, you left college, you started out a business, made the mistake of joining up with your brother. I would never do that. But I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you and what you've done. And someday, maybe I'll get to Reno and try your juice. What's the name of your store?

[John]

It's called Juice J U, S. Yeah. You won't have a hard time finding us if.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know.

[John]

Yeah, something like that. Yeah. You can call it whatever you want, though, so.

[Conan O'Brien]

But jus is. How do they.

[Matt Gourley]

How do you get a juice with an umlaut?

[John]

Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry. It's J, U, S with the German umlaut. So it's jus. Oh, jus.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, just.

[John]

All right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Because I would just think that's just.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And. All right, well, I'll check it out someday. But hey, no beets and no celery. Okay.

[John]

Well, that's too bad. That's mostly what we serve.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, that's a terrible commercial for your business. Lots of chocolate. Yeah, I just basically want a milkshake.

[John]

Chocolate covered beets.

[Conan O'Brien]

Full stuff, too. Hey, John, best of luck to you and thanks so much for calling in.

[John]

Yeah. What an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much, you guys. I appreciate you.

[Conan O'Brien]

What a nice guy. Take care, man.

[John]

Did I do okay?

[Conan O'Brien]

You did great. This was very. No, this was fantastic. This was great.

[John]

Oh, great.

[Conan O'Brien]

We've never had people laugh. No one seems to care how they did except you. And you did Great. I like that you cared.

[John]

To be honest with me, if I.

[Conan O'Brien]

Did tear, no, we'd act just like we're acting now. But guess what? It was a really fun conversation and you seem like a nice guy and I wish you'd take my advice about getting rid of beets and celery in that juice.

[John]

I'll send a group chat to my brother about it.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I hate that guy. All right, man, take care. Great job.

[John]

Bye, John. Yeah, thank you guys so much. Really appreciate it.

[Matt Gourley]

Conan o' Brien Needs a Fan With Conan o' Brien, Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley Produced by me, Matt Gourley Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away, Jimmy Supervising Producer Aaron Blair Associate talent Producer Jennifer Samples Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm Engineering by eduardo Perez get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail] Conan Please rate, review and subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a fan wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, I'm Paul Scheer.

[Sona Movsesian]

I'm June Diane Rayfield.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I'm Jason Mantzoukas. And we're the hosts of how did this Get Made? A comedy podcast where we deconstruct, make fun of and celebrate the best worst movies ever made. Have you ever seen a movie that's so bad that it's actually good? That's what we're talking about.

[Sona Movsesian]

From blockbuster franchise prizes and made for.

[John]

TV romances to bonkers 80s action flicks and obscure sci fi musicals, we cover it all.

[Conan O'Brien]

You can find how did this Get Made? Wherever you get your podcasts and don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode. Idiot.

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