Kaitlin Olson

Summary

Podcast Summary: Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend – Episode Featuring Kaitlin Olson

Episode Information:

• Title: Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend
• Host: Team Coco & Earwolf
• Guest: Kaitlin Olson
• Release Date: February 3, 2025

Introduction

In this heartwarming and humorous episode of Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend, host Conan O’Brien sits down with Kaitlin Olson, renowned for her roles in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and the critically acclaimed series Hacks. The conversation delves into Kaitlin's career, her experiences on set, and her personal life, offering listeners an intimate glimpse into the life of one of comedy’s most beloved actresses.

Getting to Know Kaitlin Olson

Conan opens the episode by sharing his longstanding admiration for Kaitlin Olsen’s work, particularly her groundbreaking role in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. He humorously recounts his early days as a fan, mentioning how he would pass by Sona Movsesian’s desk only to find her engrossed in Kaitlin’s performances.

Conan (11:07): "I’ve been acting like a fool since you came in the building."

Kaitlin responds with laughter, acknowledging Conan’s playful antics and expressing her appreciation for his support.

Transition to High Potential

The conversation smoothly transitions to Kaitlin’s new project, High Potential, an adaptation of a French series. Conan praises Kaitlin’s versatility and the show’s unique blend of comedy and crime-solving elements.

Conan (16:14): "I watched your new show yesterday, and it’s getting insane over-the-top reviews again... High Potential is a great idea and you’re fantastic in it."

Kaitlin elaborates on her initial reservations about the project, highlighting the challenges of shifting genres and trusting the creative process.

Kaitlin (17:24): "I was very gun shy. And then I read his script and thought, 'I’m in.'"

Behind the Scenes and Creative Dynamics

Kaitlin shares insights into her collaborative relationship with the show's director, Alethea Jones, and the importance of creative freedom in her work. Conan echoes these sentiments, emphasizing the necessity of having fun and maintaining authenticity in creative endeavors.

Conan (35:24): "I do think there is a beautiful lesson to It's Always Sunny, which is... you guys are doing something that doesn't fit any mold, and it became..."

Kaitlin concurs, discussing how she and her co-stars create a unique comedic environment that cannot be replicated, fostering a genuine connection with the audience.

Balancing Personal and Professional Life

The duo delves into the balance between personal life and career, touching upon Conan’s interactions with his family and Kaitlin’s experiences managing fame while raising her children. They highlight the importance of evergreen comedy—content that remains funny and relevant over time.

Kaitlin (50:00): "My kids are binge watching It's Always Sunny and we watch it together as a family."

Conan reflects on his own family dynamics, sharing humorous anecdotes about his wife’s selective viewing habits and the challenges of relating to his children’s evolving tastes.

CB Radio Segment: A Nostalgic Twist

In a playful interlude, the podcast features a nostalgic segment on CB radio terminology, harking back to the 1970s trucking culture. Conan, Sona, and Matt engage in a humorous quiz, testing their knowledge of CB slang with Kaitlin’s participation adding an extra layer of fun.

Matt Gorley (56:52): "A hearse is called a bone box."

This lighthearted segment injects humor into the episode, showcasing the camaraderie among the hosts and their ability to engage in spontaneous, entertaining discussions.

Deep Dive into High Potential

Returning to the main topic, Kaitlin provides a deeper exploration of her character in High Potential, emphasizing the intelligence and complexity she brings to the role. Conan commends her ability to blend humor with serious crime-solving, enhancing the show’s appeal.

Kaitlin (35:25): "She’s human... grounded, hardworking woman with children and be funny."

They discuss the intricate layers of the show’s writing, praising how it balances comedy with meaningful storytelling, making it both entertaining and thought-provoking.

Concluding Thoughts and Mutual Admiration

As the episode draws to a close, both Conan and Kaitlin express their mutual respect and admiration. Conan congratulates Kaitlin on her successful transition into new roles, while Kaitlin thanks Conan for his unwavering support and friendship.

Conan (53:10): "Thank you so much for coming in. An absolute joy to see you."

Kaitlin adds a heartfelt note, appreciating the platform Conan has created to foster genuine connections with his guests.

Kaitlin (53:26): "So fun."

Notable Quotes

1. Conan O’Brien (11:07): "I’ve been acting like a fool since you came in the building."
2. Kaitlin Olson (17:24): "I was very gun shy. And then I read his script and thought, 'I’m in.'"
3. Conan O’Brien (35:24): "I do think there is a beautiful lesson to It's Always Sunny, which is... you guys are doing something that doesn't fit any mold, and it became..."
4. Kaitlin Olson (50:00): "My kids are binge watching It's Always Sunny and we watch it together as a family."

Conclusion

This episode of Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend is a delightful blend of humor, heartfelt conversation, and insightful discussions about the entertainment industry. Conan and Kaitlin Olson’s chemistry shines through, making it a must-listen for fans seeking both laughter and meaningful dialogue. Whether you’re a longtime admirer of Kaitlin’s work or new to her performances, this episode offers valuable perspectives on creativity, friendship, and the enduring power of comedy.

Transcript

[Conan O'Brien]

There's a lot to say when buying a new home or car, but only one thing to say that can help you protect them. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Hear me?

[Sona Movsesian]

I did. I heard you.

[Conan O'Brien]

And just like that, a State Farm agent will be there to help you choose the coverage you need. You just say that and they show up. They come jumping out of a shrub.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, cool.

[Conan O'Brien]

No matter where you are in life, when you need the coverage options, your estate farm agent is there to help. On the phone or in person. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. When I was a kid, it was all about Charlie the Tuna. He was the starkist mascot. There was a cartoon of him, and he was the one that was always saying, you know, he wants starkist tuna. It was fun. You'd see him on TV all the time. Everyone knows starkist tuna is the tuna you can trust. I mean, since I was a kid, I was watching old Charlie the Tuna on tv. Well, guess what? They make these starkist tuna pouches. It's this great starkist tuna, but it's in a little pouch, which means you can just rip open that pouch and get you the protein that you need right away.

[Sona Movsesian]

I love pouches.

[Conan O'Brien]

Makes it easier than ever to fuel up with lean protein and a natural source of omega 3. And you look at my body, you know that I'm eating a lot of lean protein, don't you?

[Sona Movsesian]

Sam? Yeah, you're. You're a guy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, hey, come on. I'm married. Back off, lady. This one's taken. No, it's great. These tuna pouches are in convenient single serve pouches. They're ready to eat anywhere. Anywhere. I don't care. You're tightroping. Walking across Niagara Falls. Need a little protein. Rip. Munch, Munch, Munch. Starkist has 20 plus great flavor varieties. They also offer salmon, chicken, and beef, too. Pick up Starkist pouches at your local store or check out starkist.com.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Hi, my name is Kaitlin Olson, and I feel apprehensive about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

[Matt Gorley]

Fall is here Hear the yell Back to school ring the bell Brand new shoes Walking loose climb the fence Books and pens I can tell that we are gonna need friends.

[Conan O'Brien]

I can tell that we are gonna be friends. Hey there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend. I'm the aforementioned Conan O'Brien, joined by some obsession. Hi, Matt Gorley. And we're just. I feel like we're already rocketing through 20, 25.

[Matt Gorley]

Really?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, just rocketing through it. What do you mean just rocketing through?

[Matt Gorley]

Could you explain what the hell you're talking?

[Conan O'Brien]

Time accelerates is what I'm telling you. The more experience you've had in life, the less each single moment registers in your brain. So time actually accelerates. By the time I'm done speaking, we'll all be dead.

[Matt Gorley]

I don't want to die with you. No offense.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's the worst thing anyone's ever said to me. What a terrible thing to say.

[Matt Gorley]

Just my wife, my daughter.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, come on. They've seen enough of you.

[Matt Gorley]

You may be the death of me.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, there you go. No, I just think 2025, man.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, man.

[Conan O'Brien]

Love it. Yeah.

[Kaitlin Olson]

We did it.

[Conan O'Brien]

We did it.

[Kaitlin Olson]

We did it.

[Matt Gorley]

We're just starting. We.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, okay. It's just starting.

[Sona Movsesian]

2025. Yeah. A quarter of the way into this century.

[Matt Gorley]

That's crazy.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's madness.

[Matt Gorley]

We're in, like a sci fi. Year 2025 sounds like a future, doesn't it? Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, I used to think that the year 2000 sounded like a long time. This. When I was a kid, people would talk about the year 2000. And then we did a bit. Robert Smigel, he came up with this idea for a bit called Year 2000, which we did in 1980 at the Victory Gardens Theater in Chicago. And then a couple years later when I got the Late Night show, we did it on the Late Night show in the year 2000, and still in 1993. It's getting a little squirrely then. But the year 2000 did feel like this kind of funny, distant future. And then I'll never Forget, it was 1999, and we were getting close to the year 2000, and we're doing the bit in the year 2000, and we didn't know what to do.

[Matt Gorley]

I remember this.

[Conan O'Brien]

We didn't know what to do. And we were thinking, what do we do? And we were thinking, maybe Labamba could sing in the distant future.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, weird.

[Conan O'Brien]

And we were like, no. And then we said, we're just gonna stick with in the year 2000.

[Matt Gorley]

Talked about this on the show, right? Because I remember watching this.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then, sure enough, you know, Sting would be on the show and it would be 2005. And I'd say, you know, hey, maybe we should look to the future. And Andy had left at that point. So Sting. I'd do it with, like, whoever the celebrity was, and Sting would come through the. Through the curtain and go, the future Conan. And I'd say, yes, Sting, all the way to the year 2000 and it's 2005. Talk about. We just didn't deal with it and so. But I remember when I was a kid, there was a show on starring Martin Landau and I think his co star was Barbara Bain. I think it was a show that was made in England and it was called Space 1999. And it was the same thing where it was the 70s and this syndicated show had come on. And this is back when nothing was on television. And so whenever something came on, you watched it. And I remember thinking, oh, wow, space 1999. And everyone on that show wore what looked to be like what they'd give you to wear on first class if you were going on a transatlantic flight. Everybody.

[Matt Gorley]

And I thought somehow mixed with Tennis leisure.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, yes, exactly. So I just thought, in the future we're all going to be very comfortable and we're going to live on the moon. And the future, of course, came along and really the big cars kind of looked pretty much the same. They didn't rust, but they kind of operated the same. There's still a steering wheel. You're still driving on the same roads. You're not up in the air like they told us they would be.

[Matt Gorley]

The real difference is that radio just turned to podcasting.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, exactly. The only thing that really changed all this stuff they told us, ray guns, we're going to be living on different planets. None of that happened. No one talked about, you'll have a personal computer in your pocket. And it will also. And it will also be. Yes, but who. No one. None of us thought of.

[Matt Gorley]

And if you had told, kind of did. They had their little like, you know.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, Spock had a tricorder.

[Matt Gorley]

Well, famously, I'm a Star wars guy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, well, I'm a Star Trek guy, okay? And what I love is that Spock.

[Sona Movsesian]

Had either one guy.

[Matt Gorley]

Spock had a. I'm a not nerd guy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Spock had what looked like a, like maybe an AM FM radio, but it had a little screen on it. And whenever they would go on the planet, it was a device that just did everything called a tricorder or something. A tricorder would just be like. They'd be like, spock, what's up? And he'd go like, well, according to this, my tricorder, we're going to have a conflict with a major character in about eight minutes, you know, Or I mean, basically it could tell you what you're having for lunch. It could supply whatever the writers needed it to supply.

[Matt Gorley]

Have you ever heard about in the Phantom Menace, you Know the first Star wars prequel, Qui Gon Jim, played by Liam Neeson, has this little.

[Conan O'Brien]

First of all, I could have finished this whole sentence for you, but yeah, Qui Gon Jim, played by Liam Neeson. Jason.

[Matt Gorley]

Qui Gon Jim.

[Conan O'Brien]

What?

[Matt Gorley]

Qui Gon Jim.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes, even I know that, isn't it? There's no normal names in any of the names.

[Conan O'Brien]

Qui Gon Jim. It's Qui Gon Jim who's popping the course. Meet, meet, meet. Glimglor, Penry and Scully. Apollo, Sally.

[Matt Gorley]

Anyway, he has this little machine to test Anakin's midichlorian count. Don't get into it. And it's made from a woman's shaving razor.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, wait a minute. So George Lucas just said we need.

[Matt Gorley]

A device and they just.

[Conan O'Brien]

I just took this from my wife's shower, basically.

[Matt Gorley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wow. Oh no.

[Matt Gorley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, that's pretty great, huh?

[Sona Movsesian]

What year was Back to the future? The future?

[Matt Gorley]

What year was that just happened recently? Blay, you've got to know, wasn't it?

[Sona Movsesian]

You've got to know what? When he goes to the future and back to the future. What year is that?

[Conan O'Brien]

Isn't it just happened?

[Eduardo Perez]

Oh, I think it's. I do think it's 2023 maybe. But I wanted to bring up there's another thing. The sonic screwdriver. Nobody here is a Doctor who fan, Right? Because I'm a Doctor who fan. Sonic screwdriver.

[Conan O'Brien]

I wish Harrison Ford was here right now to tell you to shut the fuck up. You just took us down.

[Eduardo Perez]

That's also a thing that does everything.

[Conan O'Brien]

Eduardo. It was 2015. That was 2015 was when we were supposed to. 10 years ago. 10 years ago.

[Sona Movsesian]

Come on. We really dropped the ball.

[Matt Gorley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, I think there should be a senate into why we're not flying around.

[Matt Gorley]

Because Blade Runners also happened time wise too, right? Because they had flying cars in that.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, every future sci fi movie, I mean now they're smart enough to say in the year 4572. They've picked. They've picked a time when clearly humans will no longer be on the planet.

[Matt Gorley]

Alien was always good about that. They were far, far into the future.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right? Early sci fi, if you listen to old radio shows are like that were made in the 1930s. They'll say by 1948. And my favorite is I listened to one once where they called robot was still a new word. And they called it ribbit. Robot. Yeah, ribbit. There'll be a ribbit. And the ribbit will be a mechanical man named Qui Gon. Jim named Qui Gon Jim, who will open the mayonnaise can for you. It was all very pedestrian, I will say.

[Eduardo Perez]

Eduardo just looked up the movie her, which is Everybody has an AI girlfriend. Takes place this year, 2025, and we.

[Conan O'Brien]

Kind of do all have AI girls.

[Matt Gorley]

Finally getting a mistress there.

[Sona Movsesian]

Really? Oh.

[Matt Gorley]

What?

[Sona Movsesian]

Wow.

[Conan O'Brien]

What are you talking about?

[Matt Gorley]

Don't talk about her.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's a victimless crime.

[Matt Gorley]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

What do you mean?

[Conan O'Brien]

What are you talking about?

[Sona Movsesian]

He had a really special relationship.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, but he didn't cheat on any. But not with another person. And that's allowed? The Bible allows an exception if it's an AI girlfriend. Oh, the Bible doesn't say, thou shalt not covet thy neighbors. AI image. The Bible. We got around the Bible. Finally, I can covet all I want as long as it's made of pixels and Hexels.

[Matt Gorley]

Oh, God.

[Conan O'Brien]

What? Did I get something wrong?

[Matt Gorley]

Yeah. Hexels.

[Conan O'Brien]

Did that cover it? Hexels, Mixels and Glaxels.

[Matt Gorley]

Let me just refer you to this rap sign.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, look at that. It's handwritten. How quaint. Clearly you've not visited the year 2000.

[Matt Gorley]

Oh, no, I was in haste.

[Conan O'Brien]

All right, let's get into it. My guest today is a terrific actress. You know, from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and hacks. There were many years Sona, where I would pass you at your desk and I couldn't get you to do a goddamn thing because you were watching It's Always Sunny on your computer.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yes, I was.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, now she stars in the hit series High Potential, which releases new episodes Tuesdays on ABC and next day on Hulu. We're thrilled she's here today. We adore her. Kaitlin Olson, welcome. I've been acting like a fool since you came in the building.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah, a lot of dad jokes so far.

[Matt Gorley]

Yeah, a lot of grandpa jokes at this point.

[Conan O'Brien]

That was my A material.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Oh, no.

[Conan O'Brien]

From 70 years ago. No, I been so goofy around you for a reason. I'm a massive fan, and I got giddy, and so then this tall drink of water comes walking in, and I'm doing shtick left and right, and I've made a complete fool of myself.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah, you really did.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you know what? I apologize, but it came from a place of great admiration and some drinking about an hour ago.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I'll allow it. I like that. I like the explanation.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm thrilled you're here. And I want to start by acknowledging you have a crazy stalker fan here. Oh. In the form of Sonam Obsessions.

[Kaitlin Olson]

How do you do that to her?

[Sona Movsesian]

Like stalker fan. I'm a fan. I don't stalk you.

[Kaitlin Olson]

That's okay. I haven't seen her peeking around in my bushes. Oh, but not of mine.

[Conan O'Brien]

But not. You're a stalker.

[Kaitlin Olson]

No, I'm fine with both.

[Conan O'Brien]

Only Don Cheadle.

[Matt Gorley]

That's true.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's just the guy I'm throwing on the audio lately. The point is that a number of years ago, I was aware of Always Sunny when it was first starting up. And I would catch the show here and there. And I always think, this is really funny. I like these people. I like what they're doing. But a lot of other stuff is going on. And then I would come to work and Sona's desk. Sona, my assistant, was a shrine to all. It wasn't a shrine to Always Sunny.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Just let him do it. I like it.

[Sona Movsesian]

A picture of the cast.

[Conan O'Brien]

You talked about it all the time.

[Sona Movsesian]

I just. You're making me sound like a creeper. I had a picture of the cast, and sometimes I would watch it at work when I should have been doing things for him.

[Kaitlin Olson]

So he's a little resentful about what's happening.

[Conan O'Brien]

But that's what got me more into the show. Because I would be asking Sona, you know those pills I need from my heart to keep me alive? And she'd say, whatever, I'm busy. And then I would see that she was watching Always Sunny at work.

[Sona Movsesian]

Right.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Important. Yeah, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right. So then we flash forward to my children, my son and my daughter get to a certain age. And I will say this about my kids. I don't brag about them much. Cause I'm not a fan, but they have excellent, excellent, excellent comedy taste. And they started from the beginning, and they started binge watching Always Sunny. And then they pulled Liza and I into it. And as a family, we started from the beginning, and we knew that soon, like, they're both going off to college. We watched all of them. Oh, my God, all of them. I have not missed a one. Wow. And I was delighted because it's such an original comedic voice and voices. It's just coming at everything from a different angle. And it's just delightful. And so that's where a lot of my giddiness came from. Today's sweet. It's true. It's absolutely 100% true. And then if you'd have the gall to go on and have all this other success outside of Sunny, I think it's too much.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Oh, too much success. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I thought you had I mean, you hit it out of the park.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Just be the girl on the one funny show, go home and take care of your kids.

[Conan O'Brien]

Exactly.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I get it.

[Conan O'Brien]

But then you're on Hacks and you're fantastic.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Thanks.

[Conan O'Brien]

On that show.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Thanks.

[Conan O'Brien]

Although your name on that show is eerily similar to J.D. vance.

[Kaitlin Olson]

God, that was so we were like, are you. First of all. I came along first.

[Conan O'Brien]

You were first.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I've never heard of this man.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right, you're first. DJ Vance.

[Kaitlin Olson]

DJ Vance.

[Matt Gorley]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

And anyone who's watching it later is gonna go, oh, what a corny take on J.D. vance.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Nope. No, we. No, it stands for Deborah Jr. Yeah. And.

[Matt Gorley]

Yeah, well, his name is Deborah Jr. Oh.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Oh, well, then we did copy him. Yeah. Jehr.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then we're going to discuss your new show, which I watched yesterday, which is getting insane over the top reviews again, something I resent. Didn't see my mention of me anywhere on these reviews because I'm not in the show and I'm not involved in any way. But High Potential, which is an adaptation of a French show. It's a great idea and you're fantastic in it.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

And what I like about it is that it is a good. I was trying to think about it afterwards. I was like, it's. I wouldn't say it's a comedy. It's a funny and at times, very funny show. That's a very good crime show and really smart.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I thought everyone wants to label something now and say, well, my wife said to me afterwards, she's like, is it a comedy? And I said, it's not a comedy. It's definitely not a comedy. But you get to be very funny in it. And some of the situations are very funny. But it's also an excellent kind of one of those crime shows that is building a Rubik's Cube and solving it in front of you, which was really cool.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah, thank you. I appreciate that. That was the goal was to really make sure that you believed the world and bought into the fact that there was something urgent and bad happening and that wasn't going to happen if the rest of the world was funny.

[Matt Gorley]

So.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah. And also I was like, only I get to be funny on this show. You want me to do it? Only I will utter funny things.

[Conan O'Brien]

I have made that rule here at the podcast many times, and it doesn't seem to happen.

[Kaitlin Olson]

They are breaking it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I got to come up with more good shtick at the top. There were a couple things that I realized about you today. That I didn't know before, which is that you lived on Vashon Island.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I did.

[Conan O'Brien]

My wife is from Seattle. Oh, she is, yes. And so I have wandered those islands and spent time on Vachon. And that's a very. And also Portland. That's a very special, specific part of the country.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yes, it's very Pacific Northwest. My parents were hippies. My mom's an herbalist. We, like, went fishing for salmon on the island for dinner. Yeah. And then we moved to, like, outside you say Portland, which is like, that was the big city 20 minutes away. We lived in Tigard, Oregon. And if you were hungry, you went outside and, you know, grabbed some. Whatever was ripe. Wash it off with the hose. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

So when I.

[Kaitlin Olson]

We were. We were very, you know, it was just the four of us living off the land.

[Conan O'Brien]

When I met my wife, she had moved to New York and she had grown up in Seattle and she'd only been in New York a short time. And we start dating. And then I'm going to. Oh, we're invited to an event. I'm doing the late night show, and I invite this new woman I've met who I'm in love with, like, oh, I'm going to bring her to this event. And she would say, okay, let's go. And she only had fleece. And you should be like, I've got this.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Patagonia.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I've got this.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I can put on Timberland boots.

[Conan O'Brien]

I can put on this nicer fleece. And I'm like, it's kind of black tie. Like, I'm wearing a tux.

[Kaitlin Olson]

And she's like, I've got sandals.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I can put on the good sandals. And it was. There was a moment where I was like, we need to.

[Kaitlin Olson]

We need a ton of work.

[Conan O'Brien]

We need to talk about the fleece. Only not everything's a fleece vest and a baseball cap.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah, that's right.

[Conan O'Brien]

But the other thing too was, I would say I'm Irish Catholic, Boston. So everything for me and Sona's witnessed this many times, which is, I need to eat a massive ham sandwich. I've tried to change. I think I have changed. But my go to was always a meal involves a massive piece of ham and potato and mayonnaise. And it has to be this big thing that you then sit around and digest like a bank vault in your stomach.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yep. That was Rob, too. Yeah, I retrained him.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. So my wife, I'd show up at the time she was my girlfriend, and I would show up at her tiny apartment And I would say, hey, I brought a ham. And I'd say, like, yeah. I'd say, I'm wearing a ham. I had a hat that was made that just had hams around it. I would show up in her apartment and say, like, I. Hey, Eliza, I'm really hungry. Are you hungry? And she'd say, I ate. And I'd say, oh, you ate? And she'd be like, yep, I had half a pearl, and then I had some walnuts, and then I had some antioxidant juice.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Oh, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And it's the oldest lady, Pacific Northwest.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Her gut health is just top shelf.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Well, she's a massive fan of yours, so she would be thrilled that. To meet you someday. But you say that you had to retrain Rob.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just all. First of all, I don't know that they. That fresh vegetables existed on the East Coast. I think it was just all cans and frozen stuff. Apparently.

[Conan O'Brien]

I never saw a vegetable. Vegetable, I think, until after Reagan was in office.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Right. I didn't believe him. I was like, that's not possible. Like, it's. It's. But no, it was all they had, like, you know, lima beans and steak and always, always a potato of some kind.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Kaitlin Olson]

God forbid you leave the potato out. Meat. A potato and some bagged, rewarmed vegetable.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah, we. That's interesting. And so how long did it take to retrain?

[Kaitlin Olson]

Not long. Cause I love cooking. And he was like, oh, what's this? Oh, and one time I asked if he liked eggplant. Cause I was gonna do, like, an eggplant parmesan. He was like, oh, no. I was gonna do some eggplant thing that wasn't eggplant parmesan. And I just ruined the whole story. And he was like, yeah, I love eggplant. I was like, great. So I made. I don't remember what it was. We were still dating. It was 800 years ago.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, it was before the printing press.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah, that's right. And he ate it, and he just wasn't eating it. I was like, you don't like eggplant? He was like, I swear this is not what eggplant tasted like when I was growing up. And he had eggplant parmesan. It was, like, beaten to a pulp and just mostly fried breading.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, it's breading and cheese.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah. I was like, that's not the eggplant part.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, no, no, no.

[Kaitlin Olson]

That's the heart attack part.

[Conan O'Brien]

If you hit a vegetable in heart attack sauce, I was fine with it. You know, everyone is. Yeah, everyone is. But it's just now he loves a fresh vegetable. I will say, oh, and I've completely changed. It's the same. I mean, this is interesting. I wanted to talk about this initially just for a second. Cause I realized we've had a similar experience. But I had the same thing happen to me, which is now I'm like, I would like a salad, please.

[Kaitlin Olson]

You're opposite. Yeah, him too. He's like, he'll look at what his friends back east eat and he's just like, how are they not all dead? And why are they wondering why I look good and they don't? Right? They all look like 75 year old men. Doughy. I love them. I want to make that clear. I love all of them.

[Jimmy Vivino]

Do you want a business that's ready to Thrive? Let Intuit QuickBooks take things like unpaid invoices and tracking expenses off your plate to take things to the next level. Intuit QuickBooks is an all in one business platform that can help with day to day tasks like invoicing and expenses. Manage and grow your business all in one place. Intuit QuickBooks, your way to money. Money movement services are provided by Intuit Payments, Inc. Licensed as a money transmitter by the New York State Department of Financial Services.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, I have a question for you, Sona.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

When someone says Amazon, do you ever think healthcare?

[Sona Movsesian]

No.

[Conan O'Brien]

Maybe you should. Sorry to be so judgmental, but Amazon One Medical offers 247 virtual care so you can speak to a provider within minutes. There's also Amazon Pharmacy, so after your virtual visit, Amazon can deliver your prescriptions directly to your door. Hello. And refill them automatically.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, convenient.

[Conan O'Brien]

I know this. I need this for all my powders and potions. Finally, no more waiting in long lines at physical pharmacies. Hey, aren't you Conan O'Brien? Leave me alone. I'm trying to buy my ass cream. Thanks to Amazon Pharmacy and Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful. Learn more at health.Amazon.com you know, one of the hardest parts about B2B marketing is reaching the right audience. You put so much effort into a campaign only for it to get wasted on the wrong people. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's ridiculous.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's crazy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, it's like, hey, Santa Claus, get your bathing suit over here.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, he doesn't need a bathing suit. He's up at the North Pole. What did I waste my time for?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, and he's got elves.

[Conan O'Brien]

Exactly.

[Sona Movsesian]

They can make it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, you're ruining the point I was trying to make. Yes. No. One of the hardest parts about B2B marketing is reaching the right audience. You put so much effort into a campaign only for it to get wasted on the wrong people. Fortunately, LinkedIn is a network of over 1 billion businessy people who might actually be interested in your business. You can target your buyers by job title, industry, company role, seniority, skills or company revenue. So stop wasting budget on the wrong audience and start targeting the right professionals with LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn will give you a hundred dollar credit on your next campaign. So you can try it yourself. Just go to LinkedIn.com teamcoco that's LinkedIn.com teamcoco. Terms and conditions apply. Only on LinkedIn. Can I geek out on It's Always Sunny for a second and ask how much improvisation are you guys doing? First of all, it's the 17th season.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Really weird, really strange because it all began so improbably. And I know you've talked about it a million times, but you literally just went out. Which is my favorite comedy is let's make Ourselves Happy. And now it's 17 years later.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah, It's a good life lesson. That philosophy goes towards auditioning too. I was always auditioning before that. You know, reading the description of the character and trying to figure out exactly what they wanted and going in and doing an audition that I hoped that it was what they were looking for. It doesn't work like that. You gotta go and like do your best version of whatever you think it is and make yourself like. It turned into my only goal, rather than like going over the lines in my head 8 million times was just have fun. Just have fun. Do you say a couple different words? Who cares? It's fine. Just have fun. It's the only way it works. And then I started booking stuff. Cause you can't really make other people happy. It doesn't. That's not possible. There's too many of them.

[Conan O'Brien]

We all start out in that situation where we're trying to make someone happy and you're told, yeah, they someone, it went to someone else. And you think it's a judgment on you.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Totally.

[Conan O'Brien]

When it really isn't.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Not at all.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because in this town, in this business, I was trying to explain to people they're seeing 10,000 people and you might have come in and nailed it in some way.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Absolutely.

[Conan O'Brien]

But you're a little taller.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Or more often than not, they've already offered it to someone else.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Kaitlin Olson]

You're going in and spending days Working on this thing, blow drying your hair, putting makeup on, driving to that lot, walking across the lot in 100 degree heat. You look like shit by the time you get there. You do your best. And all the while they're just waiting to get a phone call that the person they offered to is accepting or rejecting it. And then they've got backups that they're. And they're keep offering it. And then if no one accepts it, then they're going to turn to these auditions. It's crazy. There were so many auditions where I was like, I felt so good about that and plenty of auditions that I hated because I would get anxious and be weird. Like, that's not what I was meaning to do. Yeah. But now being on the other side of it, I'm like, oh, yeah, you've already offered it to someone else.

[Conan O'Brien]

We auditioned like thousands of people to be Conan O'Brien on Conan O'Brien needs a friend when we knew all along it was gonna be me.

[Kaitlin Olson]

That's so mean. Everybody had to do their hair like that.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I was behind a one way mirror and I was just laughing. I was laughing.

[Matt Gorley]

Yeah, we were laughing earnestly trying to replace you guys.

[Conan O'Brien]

I was just laughing and drinking caramel out of a big pitcher. Warm caramel and laughing. And it was running down my face. Bring in the next one.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Why?

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know. I'm broken inside.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Caramel or caramel?

[Sona Movsesian]

I'm a caramel person.

[Conan O'Brien]

Could you say caramel? Caramel.

[Sona Movsesian]

Is anybody caramel?

[Matt Gorley]

I think I say Carmel. Unless Carmel.

[Kaitlin Olson]

No, that's a city.

[Matt Gorley]

I think I know. I think I even say that. But if I think about it, I'll say it right. Same with crayon and crayon.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Oh, no. I'm caramel. No idea.

[Matt Gorley]

I'm Carmel.

[Kaitlin Olson]

No, no, no. I'm not the city. I'm the candy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wait a minute. You're saying it correct. I understand what you're saying. I don't know what's happening with you. You're saying I say caramel.

[Kaitlin Olson]

No, he wants Carmel.

[Sona Movsesian]

Caramel.

[Kaitlin Olson]

There we go.

[Sona Movsesian]

I don't even hear the difference.

[Kaitlin Olson]

He says Carmel.

[Matt Gorley]

I think I was saying that because I'm conscious of it. But I say what you say, and that goes for life.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what? This is going to end up being the caramel. This will be the moment that trends. Yeah.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I have a strong feeling I'm wrong. I think it might be caramel.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's caramel. It's caramel. All right.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Or it's caramel. Everyone's Nodding.

[Sona Movsesian]

Maybe it's.

[Matt Gorley]

It's probably an East Coast.

[Sona Movsesian]

I say caramel.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Caramel.

[Matt Gorley]

That's weird.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I'm upset.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think we're done.

[Sona Movsesian]

Caramel. I think I should think I say things weird.

[Kaitlin Olson]

You sound great.

[Conan O'Brien]

Weirdly.

[Sona Movsesian]

Weirdly.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Thank you.

[Sona Movsesian]

I say things weirdly like I have a hard G at the end of my words.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Oh.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Do you say everything?

[Sona Movsesian]

Everything.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Oh, everything.

[Sona Movsesian]

Everything. Yeah, Everything.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Everything.

[Sona Movsesian]

Wrong.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Wrong.

[Conan O'Brien]

She says, oh, you're wrong. And it just drives me crazy because, first of all, I'm never wrong.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Right, because you're never wrong.

[Matt Gorley]

It's wrong to say wrong. Ronga.

[Conan O'Brien]

All right, listen, I'm gonna move on as the captain. I have to pile us back into safer waters.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Thank you.

[Sona Movsesian]

Let's give you the next Conan O'Brien.

[Conan O'Brien]

I do think. I do think that there is a beautiful lesson to it's always sunny, which is you. It's like minded. People got together and said, we're gonna make something that doesn't fit any mold. We are going to please ourselves. I don't think this is going to work, but we like doing this. And it became. And the other thing is, it cannot be copied right. No one else can do what you guys are doing. And there's so many different levels to it. It's. I mean.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Cause it's Rob, Charlie and Glenn. I mean, it's just like. And I just feel like I absolutely hit the jackpot on that show. It's exactly what you said is how I feel. I mean, we go in there, we have directors, and a lot of them are our friends and they're wonderful, but at the end of the day, somebody else cut. And we just gather and like what we like. And you keep that, and you keep that. And I'll do this. And then we go again.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Kaitlin Olson]

And it's great.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, as I said, my kids, they have superb comedy taste. And they clearly. No, no. They really. No. I mean, I could list all the shows they like and it's. They're. They take it really seriously. They're. They don't watch my stuff, which again, they're batting a thousand. But they. There's so many things that just kill them. One was that I think you guys, the gang had some idea and one of you said, who's it against?

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And it wasn't against anybody. And you take that. None of you can understand the idea of. It's not against someone.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Whose face are we shoving it into?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, exactly. And it's. I don't know. It's such a funny I know those characters so well now, and it is such a funny conceit that they will unite to defeat and humiliate someone else. But someone could have a brilliant plan where you guys make a billion dollars. But if it's not against somebody, no one's in.

[Kaitlin Olson]

No, it's not interesting.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Oh, so stupid. I love it so much. I'm very impressed with your kids. And I have a newly 14 year old now who's been sneaking scripts and reading them for years. And we will pull up clips that he can watch. But he's so. And now he's just like. I mean, he's 14, so now he's seen probably half the episodes. He's completely obsessed, but not mature enough to be able to like go out into the world and speak like that. So he'll say things and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh boy. We will fine tune this and one day you will be so funny. But that's not something to say at school.

[Conan O'Brien]

So.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Dennis, please let me explain. He's probably a rapist and murderer. But it's funny because. Oh God.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. There's just like times where it's not even explained what something will happen and Danny DeVito's character will like, a gun will drop out and you're like, why did he have a gun? And it's not addressed why he had a gun. It's not necessary. No, it just felt, um. Yeah, I. There's so many different layers there. And I do think I had this thought a long time ago when I was. As the. The old man here. When I was young, the show that really lit me up was sctv. Because they put, you know, SNL was the big thing. And then SCTV was this other show that they really crafted. And it had all these different layers and they put all these little smart weird runners in there that you had to pick up on. And they didn't even know that anybody in America was watching it. We only saw it cause it bounced off of a antenna in Buffalo, New York. And we managed to get it at my grandfather's little cottage in Missquamacott. And my brothers and I would watch it and go, this is. It's something that always Sunny does. And certain shows do it where they put these little things in there and I think they're talking to me.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yes. Yeah, they are.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, exactly. And it's a conversation. You guys are having a conversation with me as a viewer and I feel not only respected, but like you're pulling me in on the secret, which is a beautiful thing. Yeah, I love that.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Charlie does that a lot. We'll just improvise some kind of throwaway thing that's like a current event thing that it's just so funny and it gets left in there and we don't ever explain. It has nothing to do with the episode. And it's just. That's what I think of when you say that. It's like someone's gonna pick up on that and understand what he's talking about, or he'll just make a quick reference to something from 60 seasons ago that somebody, like some people will get. But the intelligent part, I think is what's so great. Cause there are a lot of comedies that make me laugh. A lot of character driven stuff that, you know, I admire the character someone's doing, but the writing is so smart. And I can tell when someone hasn't seen it if they have something negative to say about it. Usually online, because they didn't get it. Like, it's like, no, no, no. You watched a clip and you think you know what it is because we're making a commentary. A bunch of dumb narcissistic psychopaths are. But the writers are making commentary. So obviously either you're too dumb or you didn't watch the episode.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think it's cool to get to a place which you've clearly gotten to where you can. You've. You can have your cake and eat it too. I mean, between Hacks and Always Sunny and this. I mean, you've. You've gotten to really own this comedy space. And then there's some part of you that said, I'd like to do this. That is not. It's not a comedy. You're. I don't. You can't not be funny in things. And you are. This character's funny, but it all comes off the character.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah, she's human.

[Conan O'Brien]

She's human. Yeah.

[Kaitlin Olson]

And the other characters I play really aren't human. I mean, they're not multifaceted characters. This is just a. There's a way to still be a grounded, hardworking woman with children and be funny.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think I can quickly set up. It's a terrific idea for a show. I know it's adapted from this French show, but the series. And this isn't giving away too much, but it opens with you getting up at 4 in the morning. We don't know what you do. It's clear you don't have a lot of money. You go to work and you're getting dressed and you're getting a big trash can and cleaning supplies. And it's clear that, oh, you're a woman who cleans up in the middle of the night. And then it's revealed. It's clear that you're cleaning up at a bullpen, a bullpen in a police station. And then you knock into a box and all this stuff spills over and you're just cleaning it up.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Jerk the headphones off, music stops, Jerk the headphones off.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you're just gonna clean up this stuff. And it's evidence. And your character has a gift. You're cleaning, but you also need to make sense of things. And you're highly intelligent and you start just quickly. And it basically leads to. Your character is very good. And as kind of a savant at seeing these patterns. And you start to help the police kind of against. Kind of against their will.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Oh, yeah. Get up and go to their case board and cross off suspect and write victim under one woman's picture.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I always think pilots are next to impossible because in a pilot episode you need to lay out so much information that there's so many times that I've watched pilots and it's ding dong. Hello. Hi, I'm here.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I'm your neighbor. Remember me?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I'm your neighbor. And guess what?

[Kaitlin Olson]

We don't like each other.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, I don't like you since that time you stole that, you know, whatever. Because you know how you like to steal things. I guess I'm the stealer. Dun dun dun dun dun dun. And then music. No, but. No, that's a show I actually wrote.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Kaitlin Olson]

She was laughing because she thought it was so funny.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's funny, right?

[Conan O'Brien]

Ran nine years on wb slash upn. But anyway, when they were united, I made hundreds of dollars on the Stealer. But this pilot is a very good episode.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I wanted people to want to come back. I tune into stuff all the time where I'm like, yeah, it was great. And then I don't have a desire to come back for whatever reason. And I wanted you to really fall in love with this woman and who she is and be compelled to figure out. Cause I drop a thing at the end of the first episode. And I want people to buy into that and wanna figure out what is that all about. Yes. And I have to say, Drew Goddard wrote that script. And I was not interested. When they came to me and wanted to have lunch, I was like, abc, hour long drama. No, thank you. And my agent was like, no, you're gonna go have lunch with them. And I was like, what did you just say to me? He. It's good. You're going to read it and you're going to have lunch. I'm going to make you. Because I think you're going to really want to do it. I just had no interest in. Well, first of all, working for a network, I'm very spoiled. On fx, they let us do whatever we want and say whatever we want. And I have a hard time with executives who aren't creatives telling me what I can and can't do. Because, again, it goes back to, it's all fine and it works. And a lot of people are fine with that. I just. I'm so blessed to be in a position where I want to show up and have fun with my life that's at home and at work. I don't want to do something that is. I just want everything to be great or just. I'll wait and wait until something comes along that I can make special. So I was very gun shy. And then I read his script and was like, oh, I'm. I'm. I think I'm in. And then I have to point out that Alethea Jones directed that episode. And she was absolutely incredible. So one of the ways that you see my character solve things is what we call Morgan Vision and kind of these, like, flashes of what she's putting together in her brain. And I was really nervous about those. Cause I was like, my mind went to, like, a horrible reenactment on a bad A and E crime show where there's, like, someone who kind of looks like the murderer walking up. I was like, oh, God. I just was very scared of the Morgan Vision stuff. And I told her that, and she was like, that's the stuff I'm most excited about. And I was like, okay, walk me through that. She just did such a tremendous job with that pilot.

[Conan O'Brien]

Also, some of the imagined recreations are really funny.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, because it's just what's going on in her.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Your mind. You're thinking of serious things, like how a murder happened. But then there are these asides where you're thinking of other possibilities that are actually really good sight gags that are funny.

[Kaitlin Olson]

And they're quick. Just like, quick.

[Conan O'Brien]

Really quick. It's interesting to me because I would think what you want to do to that old phrase, like, you're playing with house money. And I think sometimes in sports, if a team has. If they know that they've got it, if they know that they're going to the super bowl or something. They play differently because they. Or conversely, if they feel like we got nothing to lose. And it's nice probably to be in a part of your career where you feel like, nah, I want to have fun.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

I want to have a good time.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah. There's quite a freedom in knowing that I really would walk away if it was not up to the quality that I wanted to put out there. Cause that's not like a threat. It's just really like, no, thanks. I mean, thank you so much for thinking of me, but I don't. I don't. Yeah, yeah. It feels. And I know it would be perfect.

[Conan O'Brien]

If you walked out on this podcast right now. Oh, yeah.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I should have done that. And away from my TV show.

[Conan O'Brien]

And guess what? This is not up to my.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Matt Gorley]

It's not too late.

[Conan O'Brien]

Then we could put in a car. Starting noise.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Oh, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Tires screeching.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Me calling my agent.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's interesting because when you put something out in the world and you're seen a certain way, fans react to you in a certain way. And for so many years as Dee, people know you a certain way.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Oh, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And that is not who you are. No. But I heard this anecdote once that the Three Stooges, the actual people who were the Three Stooges, Mo, Howard, and Larry. And when they would go out in the world, people who were fans would come up and slap them, slap them, hit them, and do the eye poke.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Get your fingers away from my eyes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because they were like, no, no, I love you. Hey, curly. Weird. And they would jab them in the eyes, and it was a huge problem for them. But I'm thinking if you're. There's part of Dee. I mean, you're this very attractive, cool actress.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Conan.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, you know what I mean. No, you're.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I do now.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know where Rob is right now. Feels like he's not showing you the proper attention. I just. I'm sorry.

[Kaitlin Olson]

That's right. Put it on Rob.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yep.

[Conan O'Brien]

He's off somewhere eating a potato.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I know.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I'm here talking to you about how attractive you are.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

And talented as an actor and what a career you've had. And I don't know. I don't know if you have that syndrome where people come up to you.

[Kaitlin Olson]

And then, oh, yeah, Deeza Bird. Shut up, Bird. A lot. A lot of Shut up, Bird. Mostly shut up.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Kaitlin Olson]

On a daily basis.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you're like, with your kids.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah, they love it. But they think it's the best thing in the world.

[Conan O'Brien]

I bet you've done that.

[Sona Movsesian]

I was gonna yell, hey, Bird, shut up. When you walked in, I was like, I shouldn't.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I see. I wasn't gonna do that. The most fun is when people do it in the comments section of whatever social media. And that I have so many fans just jump on it and be like, you think she hasn't heard that before? You know, she's. Other things that I'm like, I find it hilarious. It doesn't bother me at all. Calling someone a bird is so not an insult. It's the stupid.

[Conan O'Brien]

Don't you love it when people come to your defense on social media for something that didn't need defending?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I'm like, they're calling me a bird. Who cares? But I was very worried. Very worried is maybe a little strong. But I did have a lot of thoughts about, like, oh, I bet this show. This show might let a lot of my Sonny fans down or my. The Mick fans down who just want me to do hard comedy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Balls to the wall, kind of.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah. Just tell dick and ball jokes all day long and set people on fire. You know, that's all anyone wants from me.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Kaitlin Olson]

And have men yell at me and call me a bird. So I was like, oh. Or I don't know how the general public is gonna receive this. I feel like I've got the moms and grandmas with this one. But people are really liking it, which I love.

[Conan O'Brien]

The reviews have been great. Yeah. Yeah.

[Kaitlin Olson]

They really have.

[Conan O'Brien]

And it's okay. I guess we're all human. So when you're waiting around. When you're waiting, why do you always take us into the gutter?

[Matt Gorley]

There's something for the old fans.

[Kaitlin Olson]

There you go, guys.

[Conan O'Brien]

There you go.

[Kaitlin Olson]

And they're like, hey, there, she's back.

[Conan O'Brien]

It started to get real serious there, but then it was okay again. Dee is back. No, but, you know, there's this. The uninitiated or people who wouldn't know would say, oh, by this point, you know, you wouldn't worry what people would say. Of course you would.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Of course I would.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Oh, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, you must be very happy, because it's. People are loving it.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I was. Oh, yeah. The even filming the pilot. Between filming the pilot and watching it, when I got it, I didn't watch it right away. I was so nervous. I was just like, I really enjoy being in control. And I felt very out of control with this one. Cause I just. It's a different genre. Just a Lot of trust. And like I said, I mean, I'm just used to 17 seasons on a show where we're all doing it together. This was me just trusting this woman. And I'm very glad that I did. She was incredible. But, yeah, I care very much. And I was scared to show it to Rob. Rob's the harshest critic I've ever met in my life. And when he liked it, I was like, we did it, guys.

[Conan O'Brien]

We did it now with Rob. Okay, this is interesting because this is someone who is your comedic partner, but also your life partner.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Brutally honest.

[Conan O'Brien]

Brutally honest.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Brutally honest. Doesn't matter if we're married. Yeah. He wouldn't be cruel about it, but he'd say something like, oh, no. You know what he would do? He would give me a million notes. Even though it was already finished and edited, he would give me so many notes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right. You're like, no, it's on T. We're watching it on television.

[Kaitlin Olson]

We're watching it on television right now.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's airing on ABC right now.

[Kaitlin Olson]

No, no, no. Just trust me. Just call the editor for reruns. Yeah, that's right. Never give up.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's a fascinating dynamic.

[Kaitlin Olson]

It's very true. Yeah. Yeah. But he liked it.

[Conan O'Brien]

When I show my wife things that we're gonna do. I mean, she's. She wouldn't say, oh, that's bad, but I can tell she's got very. You know, Liza has these beautiful big eyes, and sometimes they get sad. There's a little sadness in them, even though she's smiling. And I know. Yeah. And I'm like, no, this isn't good. And then she goes to her closet and pulls out one of 70 fleeces she has now. Cause she's rollin in dough. All she did was go get. Yeah, it's my Gucci fleece.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I love Liza.

[Conan O'Brien]

Liza's great. Yeah. Yeah. She flies to Paris and has fittings and then comes back and it's still a fleece vest. And she puts the Patagonia label over the Gucci label.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Just smells like perfume.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Yeah. She says, let's go get some cured salmon, hang out by the water.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Sounds great.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Well, that is amazing that you have figured that you two have that dynamic.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Can you do it with him? Can you look at his stuff? Can you look at Rob's stuff and say, yeah?

[Kaitlin Olson]

Ooh, good question. This is gonna sound super lame. I think Rob's got incredible taste, so there's not really anything he's made that I haven't liked, but. No, that's not my personality. I think I would find things. I do that thing where you go see a friend in a play and you have to find things that you liked about it because their acting sucked, and then you just give them those things.

[Conan O'Brien]

I do that.

[Matt Gorley]

I've seen more than one person in a play because they're gonna know.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I've only seen one play in my life.

[Matt Gorley]

Oh, no.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. It was three weeks ago.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I only have one friend, and it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Was her best friend in the world.

[Matt Gorley]

Oh, no.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Jenny Tyler is Gandhi. Jenny.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Jenny.

[Matt Gorley]

I shaved my head.

[Kaitlin Olson]

You have a very round head.

[Conan O'Brien]

Jenny. That part where you're not eating was.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Really, probably really good for your diet.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

Jenny Tyler is gone.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, she is. It's playing on Highland. Go see it.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Don't see it.

[Conan O'Brien]

The coronet. Check it out. Well, it is. It is a delight. It's a delight. It's my. My favorite thing is when I'm. And I've said this a million times, but there are days where I'm coming in to talk to somebody who I am a big fan of and kind of giddy to see. And I also know that first thing I'm gonna be doing when I get home is texting, you know, my kids and saying, guess who I was with today? And then I get points, so. Oh, my God.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Best complime.

[Conan O'Brien]

Seriously?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah. And you know what? The show probably premiered before Beckett was even born.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, that's the other thing, too, is that my daughter's 21, my son is newly 19, and they. I always liked evergreen comedy. I always liked comedy that doesn't. That doesn't live off of. This happened today, and we're commenting on it. That was my favorite stuff, and I always wanted to make stuff that maybe would be funny if someone found it 30 years later. Definitely. It's always sunny. The fact that my kids are binge watching it and know every single twist and turn. What's the family? You guys have the rivalry with McPoyles. Yes. Oh, my God. The best. It's the best. When.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Oh, they're the best.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's real. The episodes where you realize at the end it's them, and they just run away and you're like this. Okay. None of this adds up.

[Kaitlin Olson]

So stupid.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's so stupid. But my life has been spent trying to prove to people that there is an intersection between stupid and smart.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

And it's. It comes and goes, and it's hard to find. And it's like the Northwest Passage, you know, many lives have been lost looking for it, but I believe in it with all my heart.

[Kaitlin Olson]

And it's hard to do.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Kaitlin Olson]

And so when you find it, it's. It's special. So that's a big compliment. Thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, congratulations on your new show, High Potential. And I watched it on Hulu.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah, I should.

[Conan O'Brien]

And is Hulu the went or it's.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Also on abc, ABC and Hulu the Next Day.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. It's just very smart and fun to watch. And fun to watch your character, who is also very funny but grounded in reality, figuring all this stuff out. And I'm a true. I'm a crime fan. So when you were putting down these true detective shows, these recreation shows, I live off of those.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Okay, good, good, good, good.

[Conan O'Brien]

Same.

[Kaitlin Olson]

And one of my. It really is my favorite compliment, which is happening a lot now because we're in our 17th season where grownups will come and say, my kids are now old enough to watch Sunny and we watch it together as a family. And it's our show that we watch as a family. And now that my kids are 12 and 14, I'm like, oh, I get it. There's only like a. I feel like there's only a couple. A couple more years left where we will all want to watch stuff together, and we're just holding onto it. And I'm like, whatever show you guys want. They're like, yes, let's get popcorn and watch it on the couch together.

[Conan O'Brien]

We are. I was shocked because my wife, who is an amazing mom, did an incredible job, was so sensible and really careful about. No, no, they can't eat this. Because I did read that it has a little bit of zinc in it.

[Kaitlin Olson]

She and I really need to be best friends.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah. But, but, but she very quickly said, no, always Sunny. The kids can watch Always Sunny. It's fine. And then she, without my knowledge or permission, she hyper jumped to Veep.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I come home and she and my daughter, my son are watching Veep without you. Well, yeah, I wasn't there. I was doing something. I was out alley catting. You know me.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I want die with me.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I understand a man.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, she's over there talking about.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Minuscule levels of zinc.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Kaitlin Olson]

It's very unattractive.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

So anyway, I'm out doing what a guy does, and Rob knows what I'm talking about. And so. Because I see him at the same post. Sure, sure. We high five. And. No, but I. Come on, they're watching. And Veep. Veep is. There's whole runs in Veep which is like, I'm gonna take your balls and shove them up your asshole so far that you choke on the. That comes out your ears and dribbles down your umbilical. You know? It's like, insane. And she was like, yeah, but it's funny. And I'm like, it is funny. But I told Julia Louis Dreyfus, who I know. I told her like, you know, Liza's letting the kids watch Veep, and she's like, what?

[Kaitlin Olson]

I know, I know.

[Conan O'Brien]

Veep is another step beyond.

[Kaitlin Olson]

It's a step up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, listen, you opened the floodgates with Sunny. What was she supposed to do?

[Conan O'Brien]

You guys were the drug. A very good drug, by the way. Excellent drug that gave them a powerful but safe high. And then she went on to crack.

[Kaitlin Olson]

She went to Fentanyl.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, she went to Fentanyl. Thank you so much for coming in. An absolute joy to see you.

[Kaitlin Olson]

So fun.

[Conan O'Brien]

And my best to Rob and to the gang that's making the show. And tell them I say hello. And thank you so much for going down into the mines and making such good stuff for all of us.

[Kaitlin Olson]

You're the best. I'm not leaving. Just do another hour.

[Matt Gorley]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hour number two, we talk about what's going on in the world and it gets really dark.

[Kaitlin Olson]

I gotta go.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. No, hour two. Thank you so much for being here.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Thank you for having me.

[Conan O'Brien]

Have you met all modern? Excuse me? Have you?

[Sona Movsesian]

I have not.

[Conan O'Brien]

Allmodern thinks making your home modern with fresh furniture and decor should be easy. Okay. That's why Allmodern's team of modern obsessed experts hand vets each design for quality. And did we mention they offer fast and free shipping?

[Sona Movsesian]

I love free shipping.

[Conan O'Brien]

Isn't it the best?

[Sona Movsesian]

I do love free shipping.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sometimes you buy something you really like and they go, oh, one more thing. We can get it to you for $9 million. What? Yeah, it's going on a camel anyway. But this means with Allmodern, you can update your home in days, not weeks, not months, not years. So whether you're updating your living room with a plush rug and sofa, renewing your bedroom with a clean lined bed, or reimagining your dining area with a durable new dining set. All Modern has everything you need to bring your vision to life. From minimalist to maximalist, I've always wanted to say that that's modern, made for real life. Shop [e-mail].

[Jimmy Vivino]

Do you own a business that's ready to thrive? Let Intuit Quickbooks take things like Unpaid invoices and tracking expenses off your plate to take things to the next level. Intuit QuickBooks is an all in one business platform that can help with day to day tasks like invoicing and expenses. Manage and grow your business all in one place. Intuit QuickBooks, your way to money. Money movement services are provided by Intuit Payments, Inc. Licensed as a money transmitter by the New York State Department of Financial Services.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, I have a question for you, Sona.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

When someone says Amazon, do you ever think healthcare?

[Sona Movsesian]

No.

[Conan O'Brien]

Maybe you should. Sorry to be so judgmental, but Amazon One Medical offers 24. 7 Virtual Care so you can speak to a provider within minutes. There's also Amazon Pharmacies, so after your virtual visit, Amazon can deliver your prescriptions directly to your door. Hello. And refill them automatically.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, convenient.

[Conan O'Brien]

I know this. I need this for all my powders and potions. Finally, no more waiting in long lines at physical pharmacies. Hey, aren't you Conan O'Brien? Leave me alone. I'm trying to buy my ass cream. Thanks to Amazon Pharmacy and Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful. Learn more at health.Amazon.com.

[Matt Gorley]

I was cleaning out some stuff in my office the other day and I found that I had this CB dictionary.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God. Make sure that we enunciate cb.

[Matt Gorley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

What is it? Sounded a little bit like CD for a second.

[Matt Gorley]

Oh, cb. Citizens Band Radio. Which is the way people talk. Like truckers from smoking the bannet. You know, we've talked about that movie before.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, and not just the movie. I remember very clearly. There was a. The CB fad was huge in the late 70s and there was a song called Convoy. Do you remember that song?

[Matt Gorley]

I do. Yeah. And we got a little old convoy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Running through the night we got a great big convoy Ain't she a beautiful sight? Convoy.

[Matt Gorley]

Sona, where are you going? What's going.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Conan O'Brien]

Anyway, it was a big deal and I remember that we're not here anymore. One of my grandparents passed away and some of us. Why don't you wrinkle pages even louder? What do you.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

Look at him. He's right. This is the guy who produces the podcast.

[Matt Gorley]

I cut my mic. You don't need to worry about it, you weirdos.

[Conan O'Brien]

Look at this. What are you, Kris Krinkle? Anyway, why'd you laugh so hard? That wasn't that funny.

[Matt Gorley]

I thought it was good.

[Sona Movsesian]

Kris Krinkle's not.

[Conan O'Brien]

You heard of Chris Kringle? This guy's Chris Crinkle. Louder, BLAY. Louder. There you go.

[Sona Movsesian]

Suck up.

[Conan O'Brien]

So anyway, one of my grandparents passed away and we were all like kids and we were. For some reason, it got switched around. So we were in the funeral procession, you know, Funeral procession. What's it called in the cars? Is it the funeral procession with the cars?

[Matt Gorley]

I think so.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Matt Gorley]

Anyway, it's a convoy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hearse was driving with one of my grandparents in it. I can't remember which one. And then other cars. And our cool cousin was driving the station wagon that my brothers and I and my sisters and I were all jammed into. And we're headed to the graveyard when the song Convoy came on. And my cousin reached over and turned it up all the way. And there's this part of the song where they go, so let them tuckers roll. 10, 4. Cause we got a great big. And we were all rocking out. And I love my granddad, but I. And it felt sacrilegious but also great at the same time. So I have a font. No, he wouldn't have liked that at all. Yeah, he was a.

[Matt Gorley]

Well, I thought I could quiz you guys on CB lingo and see if you can figure it out. Because actually, speaking of hearse, there is a CB term for hearse.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, yeah?

[Matt Gorley]

Anybody know what it is?

[Conan O'Brien]

Is it called an old rolling pine?

[Sona Movsesian]

The dead guy.

[Conan O'Brien]

The dead guy. The dead guy. The dead guy. No. Yeah. Let's see. I remember it well, obviously a smokey is a policeman. Yeah.

[Matt Gorley]

So we'll go over it. First of all, a hearse is called a bone box.

[Conan O'Brien]

Bone box. We got a bone box.

[Matt Gorley]

Here are just some of your regular. Like the police are called. You could call them a smokey or a bear. Smokey the bear. CB radio. Are your ears.

[Conan O'Brien]

Got my ears on.

[Matt Gorley]

A bear in the air.

[Conan O'Brien]

A bear in the air is a. Is a whirly, big whirly gig. It's a. It's a helicopter with a. With the cops inside.

[Matt Gorley]

A police helicopter?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is that a police. A helicopter with police inside. It's a helicopter. But instead of a citizen contained within, at the core of it are police.

[Sona Movsesian]

This is what truckers say to each other when they're driving long range. Semi drivers.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay. Okay.

[Matt Gorley]

Like a bear in the bush.

[Conan O'Brien]

Bear in the bush is. Oh, that would be a smokey. That's hiding out, trying to catch people in a speed trap.

[Matt Gorley]

Yeah, that's exactly right. Okay, so now I'm going to quiz you guys. Those are kind of the. Just the easy ones. All right, here we go. Blood box.

[Conan O'Brien]

Blood box. Would Be ambulance. That's right.

[Matt Gorley]

One Persona.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Matt Gorley]

Bedbug hauler.

[Conan O'Brien]

Bedbug hauler. It'd be a motel, like a cheap motel.

[Sona Movsesian]

I think it's a furniture truck.

[Matt Gorley]

A moving van. I'll accept that.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God. I just learned what this was.

[Matt Gorley]

Bikini State.

[Conan O'Brien]

Bikini State is Florida.

[Matt Gorley]

That's right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, wow. I just know because I'm a bikini inspector. No, I was. No, I was not looking at it.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

I was not. I don't know, my glasses on either.

[Matt Gorley]

Breaking wind.

[Conan O'Brien]

Breaking wind. Speeding. Breaking wind.

[Sona Movsesian]

Going downhill.

[Matt Gorley]

I'm sorry. Neither of you. It's the first sea beer in a convoy. Okay, they're breaking the wind.

[Conan O'Brien]

All right.

[Matt Gorley]

Brush your teeth and comb your hair. That's something you'd say. What does it mean?

[Conan O'Brien]

That's just. I mean, good hygiene.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

I think that means I need to rest.

[Matt Gorley]

No, no, say it again. Brush your teeth and comb your hair.

[Conan O'Brien]

Brush your teeth.

[Matt Gorley]

It helps when you think of it, like, 10, 4. Good buddy. Brush your teeth and comb your hair.

[Conan O'Brien]

Be a good. See you around. Brush your teeth and comb your hair.

[Matt Gorley]

There's a. There's a smokey up ahead.

[Conan O'Brien]

What?

[Matt Gorley]

Look. Look good. There's a smokey up ahead.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, that's stupid.

[Sona Movsesian]

Around.

[Conan O'Brien]

Just say, there's a smokey up ahead. Why brush your teeth and comb your hair?

[Matt Gorley]

Well, that's the whole point.

[Sona Movsesian]

They could be listening.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, but a policeman doesn't. When they pull you over for speeding, they don't care about your attire and how well quaff you are.

[Sona Movsesian]

The Smokies are listening in on the CB radio and then they hear. If you say, hey, there's a smokey. They'll be like. Like, oh, the convoy is smart.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out.

[Matt Gorley]

What are California turnarounds?

[Sona Movsesian]

On ramps? No, off ramps. Way stations.

[Matt Gorley]

Conan.

[Conan O'Brien]

California turnaround.

[Matt Gorley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's when you hit the state of California because you've made your drop and then you're headed back the other way.

[Matt Gorley]

Not really.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, it is.

[Matt Gorley]

They're benzos or speed. Because if you're going as far as California, you gotta take some of those to go there and back.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, I see. You mean like a Benny or a.

[Matt Gorley]

Yes, I said Benzos.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, Benny. Yeah, Benny or a jubjub.

[Sona Movsesian]

You guys are real hip.

[Conan O'Brien]

Those are called a green Squanto.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Yeah.

[Matt Gorley]

Choke and puke.

[Conan O'Brien]

Choke and puke.

[Matt Gorley]

Let's see, that's in smoking the Bandit. They use that a lot.

[Conan O'Brien]

Choke and puke.

[Matt Gorley]

Yeah. I'm going to choke and puke. Going to a choke and puke.

[Sona Movsesian]

Going to a choke and puke.

[Conan O'Brien]

Like a bad diner.

[Matt Gorley]

It's a restaurant, but I'll give it to you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Thank you. Okay.

[Matt Gorley]

Christmas card.

[Conan O'Brien]

Just, like a way to wish people well.

[Sona Movsesian]

You use it in a sentence. Please.

[Matt Gorley]

I'm doing double nickels on the i5, and I got myself a Christmas card. I'm gonna have to pay that come Tuesday.

[Sona Movsesian]

A traffic ticket.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's right. But why was it called a Christmas card?

[Matt Gorley]

Well, it's just poetry. CD poetry.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm sorry. I'm glad. You know what? There's a reason this died out. You know what I mean? They had bad terms. I'm sorry.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't even know.

[Matt Gorley]

Now we're gonna get into some of the more colorful ones, huh?

[Eduardo Perez]

What's the score?

[Sona Movsesian]

I'm winning.

[Matt Gorley]

It's three Sona Conan two.

[Eduardo Perez]

Also, we don't know that this died out. There's truckers all over this country.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, but why don't they just email each other or text? Because you don't want to be on.

[Eduardo Perez]

Your phone while you're driving.

[Conan O'Brien]

Of course they can be on their phone. They have devices that handle all kinds of things while they're driving.

[Matt Gorley]

Let's get to that.

[Conan O'Brien]

What do you think Vacu Suck is for? Well, I have one. I'm using it now. Oh, man. What does it mean? Three AA batteries. Takes care of old Captain Jack down there.

[Sona Movsesian]

Jesus, Captain Jack.

[Matt Gorley]

What does abuse it mean?

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, abuse it. Say it. Well, I'm. I don't want to masturbate.

[Matt Gorley]

That's right. Sona gets you.

[Conan O'Brien]

I gave that to Sona because I didn't want to offend a lady.

[Sona Movsesian]

Masturbate.

[Conan O'Brien]

I didn't.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, you just called your dick Captain Jack.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, he's in the Army. That's his rank.

[Sona Movsesian]

You just did a whole vacuum.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's his rank. I got a vacuusuck for Captain Jack. He did his time.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, you don't want to say masturbate.

[Conan O'Brien]

But you was in Vietnam.

[Matt Gorley]

What's a douche job?

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, man, don't get me started.

[Sona Movsesian]

A douche job is when.

[Matt Gorley]

Why did you put two fingers up?

[Conan O'Brien]

Very specifically, car wash.

[Matt Gorley]

Yes, that's right.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay, I was going to say an actual. Like anal?

[Conan O'Brien]

No, an actual analog. Okay.

[Matt Gorley]

Some of these have crossed over into popular culture. But what's a beaver?

[Sona Movsesian]

A vagina.

[Matt Gorley]

Well, no, no, I mean, it is.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's a woman driving car.

[Matt Gorley]

It's just a woman.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matt Gorley]

Okay. Bra buster.

[Conan O'Brien]

What is it? Bra Buster.

[Matt Gorley]

Bra Buster.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, man. Talk about it. Excuse me, what?

[Matt Gorley]

Talk about it.

[Conan O'Brien]

A bra buster.

[Sona Movsesian]

Bra Buster is a woman who is, is real tough.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, Bra Buster is a speed bump. No, you go over it too fast, it's going to bust your bra.

[Matt Gorley]

No, it's just a large breasted woman.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, wait a minute. How does that. I thought they have to relate to trucking somehow. Now you're going to get into. Yeah, he's. That's an old itchy face. What's that? A guy with a beard. Well, why are they talking in code?

[Matt Gorley]

No one's changing the goalpost.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, if I'm driving a truck and I see, you know, lady with the titties, I go, hey, guys, Bra buster.

[Conan O'Brien]

That beaver is a real Bra buster. That's not, it's not coded enough.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, it's still.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you know what I mean?

[Matt Gorley]

Some of them are. I mean, this is, this just evolved with the language. It's not like somebody sat down at it.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, but there's a more clever way to do that if there's a large breasted woman.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, maybe it's not like they're doing it on the radio, but the woman doesn't hear it. They're just like, hey guys, heads up.

[Conan O'Brien]

Those are some big knobs on the radio. Yes. You know what I mean? Something like that.

[Matt Gorley]

That's nice.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, high beams on. Do you know what I mean? Something they could do better. The twin pillars of society. There's so many different ways to do it, but Broadbusters. Just being unimaginative. Another reason why CB culture has died.

[Matt Gorley]

All right, so this is a tiebreaker. And the last one. Coffee break.

[Conan O'Brien]

Coffee break. Oh, tell me about it. I'm just trying to use up time. Coffee break.

[Sona Movsesian]

Coffee break.

[Conan O'Brien]

Coffee break.

[Matt Gorley]

Now this doesn't necessarily have a one to one for what the name is to what the thing is. So you just have to think creatively. Remember, we're in the kind of like, you know, sexual section of this.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, we are.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, coffee break. Does it have anything to do with this one's anal.

[Matt Gorley]

Oh my God, you're obsessed.

[Conan O'Brien]

And again, they have a device for that too. Why? They don't have to.

[Matt Gorley]

Cause coffee's.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

Cause coffee's dark.

[Matt Gorley]

Oh, God, no. Not only are you not right, you're disqualified.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, thank you. Coffee break. Break. I don't know.

[Matt Gorley]

I, I, it's just a visit with a prostitute.

[Conan O'Brien]

But why? That's just.

[Matt Gorley]

I'm taking a coffee break.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's a way you can't get upset.

[Kaitlin Olson]

These are.

[Conan O'Brien]

I can get upset. I want these to be. I want these to be rewritten.

[Matt Gorley]

Well, the good news is I've only gone through A, through D on these, so we've got lots more to do.

[Kaitlin Olson]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's okay. I think this is our last visit to C. What made you. Why do you have a CB dictionary?

[Sona Movsesian]

That was my question.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, just.

[Matt Gorley]

I don't know, maybe someone gave it to me as a gift or I bought it.

[Conan O'Brien]

I.

[Matt Gorley]

You know, I love the movie Smokey Bandit. It's one of my favorite movies.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Matt Gorley]

And so I wanted to. I wanted to be able to speak the, the patois.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, God. Jesus Christ. Okay, well, if you're happy saying coffee break or bra buster, I just, I can't know.

[Conan O'Brien]

You think some of these could be bad?

[Matt Gorley]

10, 10 in the shade, Pickle park and Taylor made.

[Conan O'Brien]

So see, that's. That sounds good, but some of these just weren't very good. Well, I'm going to be honest. Coffee break for a prostitute. There's a better way to do that, right?

[Sona Movsesian]

I think Coffee break. I think.

[Conan O'Brien]

What if you break a coffee break?

[Matt Gorley]

It's a euphemism.

[Conan O'Brien]

But what I'm saying is that's a bad idea because coffee is a. Is a regular part of what a trucker would be drinking and it would want. No, that's not. That's a terrible thing to say.

[Sona Movsesian]

Why are you telling other people that you're going on a coffee break? Like, why are you telling the other people on the radio that you're going to see a problem, A prostitute? Why don't you just do it?

[Matt Gorley]

I think, you know, you guys got to put yourself in the mindset of the seventies in the American south and you're just talking to your buddies on a CB radio going, I'm gonna go on coffee break. 10, 4, come back.

[Conan O'Brien]

Let's say I'm gonna go hire a prostitute and then I'm gonna have some coffee afterwards with said prostitute.

[Eduardo Perez]

My old college roommate, Tom Crow.

[Conan O'Brien]

Jesus, who's that? He came out of nowhere. Hey, what's your handle there, good buddy? Just shut the up, snow cap.

[Eduardo Perez]

Yeah, no, no, my, my, my old college roommate Tom Crow, his sister, her job is coordinating long haul truckers. I can ask her how much of these are still in use today.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because she talks to a lot of truckers.

[Matt Gorley]

That sounds good.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Find out if there are a lot of truckers out there taking coffee breaks.

[Matt Gorley]

And you know what? This segment really wants a follow up segment.

[Eduardo Perez]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, it screams follow up.

[Matt Gorley]

Sorry.

[Conan O'Brien]

And ask her about Vacu Suck. Is that the. Is that the actual name?

[Matt Gorley]

Right?

[Kaitlin Olson]

Right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is that the actual name from the.

[Sona Movsesian]

Guy who won't say masturbate?

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, no, I can't do it myself, but with machinery.

[Sona Movsesian]

God.

[Matt Gorley]

Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien Sonam of Session and Matt Goerley produced by me, Matt Gorley executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leo Theme song by the White Stripes incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away, Jimmy. Our Supervising Producer is Aaron Blair and our Associate Talent Producer is Jennifer Samples. Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on app Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail] Conan and if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend wherever Fine Podcasts are downloaded Foreign.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm Katie Nolan and I have a new podcast called Casuals. It's a podcast for people who like sports a normal amount. Casuals is a twice a week hang with me and my friends from across comedy, sports and entertainment where we talk about all the funny, weird, interesting stuff happening in and around the world of sports. So whether you're a die hard fan or just vaguely sports sports Curious Casuals is the podcast for you. You can find casuals on the SiriusXM app Pandora or wherever you get your podcasts. And don't forget to follow the show so you never miss an episode. Give it a try. What's the worst that could happen?

[High Five Casino]

It's time to have your High Five moment with High Five Casino, the top social casino where the action and real prizes never stop. Fun spins and big wins are right at your fingertips. With over a thousand games including High Five Casino exclusives. High Five Casino is always free to play with free coins given out every four hours. Sign up today and get free welcome coins you can spin. For a chance at cash prizes, visit high5casino.com High5casino no purchase necessary. Void where prohibited by law. Must be 21 years or older. Terms and conditions apply.