Lats and Longs

Summary

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend: Episode Summary – "Lats and Longs"

Release Date: May 29, 2025

In the "Lats and Longs" episode of Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend, host Conan O’Brien engages in a heartfelt and humorous conversation with Marta Dewolfe, a seasoned sailor who has been circumnavigating the globe aboard her 43-foot catamaran with her husband. This episode delves deep into Marta's adventurous lifestyle, the dynamics of her relationship while living in close quarters, and the unforeseen challenges they've encountered on their maritime journey.

---

1. Welcoming Marta Dewolfe

Timestamp: [01:50]

Conan opens the episode by warmly welcoming Marta Dewolfe, expressing excitement about her joining the podcast:

Conan O'Brien [01:50]: "Hey, Marta. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend."

Marta responds with enthusiasm, highlighting her happiness to connect with Conan and the podcast community.

---

2. Marta’s Sailing Journey

Timestamp: [02:00] – [04:04]

Conan inquires about Marta's current location and sailing status, leading to a detailed account of her life at sea:

Marta Dewolfe [02:16]: "We're starting our eighth year."

She shares that, despite initial plans for a three-year voyage, unforeseen circumstances like the COVID-19 pandemic extended their journey to over eight years, covering approximately 22,000 miles across seven countries. Marta emphasizes the efficiency of their catamaran, enabling them to handle the seas without additional crew.

---

3. Navigating the High Seas and Facing Storms

Timestamp: [04:04] – [06:05]

The conversation shifts to the perils of sailing, with Marta recounting their most harrowing experience during a medicane—a Mediterranean hurricane:

Marta Dewolfe [05:19]: "I could see the eye forming above us. We were six hours away from shore and there were four water spouts around us."

Conan expresses his fears inspired by movies like Dead Calm, humorously confessing his reluctance to approach boats:

Conan O'Brien [04:00]: "I saw the movie Dead Calm. It's Nicole Kidman's first movie, and Billy Zane shows up and he's crazy... I won't go on boats anymore."

Despite the dangers, Marta reassures listeners that 98% of their experiences involve encountering dolphins and mermaids, adding a whimsical touch to their adventures.

---

4. Relationship Dynamics on the Boat

Timestamp: [06:05] – [07:33]

Conan explores the dynamics of maintaining a relationship in the confined space of a boat. Marta explains that living together on the high seas has strengthened their communication skills:

Marta Dewolfe [07:03]: "It's helped our communication a lot because at some point you have to let go of the small stuff because it becomes dangerous."

She shares that becoming empty nesters provided the impetus to embark on their sailing journey, pushing them out of their comfort zones.

---

5. Overcoming Conflicts and Finding Solace

Timestamp: [07:33] – [09:12]

The discussion delves into moments of tension, particularly during the COVID-19 lockdown in Turkey when Marta found solace in listening to Conan's podcast:

Marta Dewolfe [08:20]: "I was on the kayak... listening to your podcast when I was not getting along with my husband."

Marta credits the podcast for bringing joy during dark times, even extending its reach to fellow travelers in Greece who discovered it through her recommendation.

---

6. Life Aboard and Boat Maintenance

Timestamp: [10:20] – [12:25]

Conan expresses admiration for Marta and her husband's ability to manage all aspects of their boat maintenance independently:

Conan O'Brien [11:57]: "You do it all yourselves. Wow. So you've really challenged yourself."

Marta details their routine of lifting the catamaran out of the water every other year for engine servicing and painting, highlighting their self-sufficiency.

---

7. Cultural Encounters and Personal Connections

Timestamp: [12:25] – [17:16]

The conversation takes a cultural turn as Marta discusses her visits to an Armenian village in Turkey, connecting with Sona Movsesian's heritage:

Marta Dewolfe [22:44]: "I went to the only Armenian village in Turkey and there's 103 residents. I thought of you."

This segment underscores the personal connections and cultural exchanges that enrich Marta's travels.

---

8. Adventures Under the Sea and Treasure Hunting

Timestamp: [18:52] – [20:48]

Marta shares her underwater discoveries, including amphoras and mosaics, drawing playful parallels to the adventurous spirit of The Goonies:

Marta Dewolfe [19:07]: "I found some. They're called ampura. Amphoras."

Conan humorously imagines the reality of treasure hunting versus cinematic portrayals, adding levity to the discussion.

---

9. Sailing Skills and Practical Advice

Timestamp: [20:16] – [21:57]

Marta offers Conan practical sailing advice, assigning him tasks like reefing the mainsail and furling the jib, testing his nautical knowledge:

Marta Dewolfe [21:14]: "Reef the main and furl the jib."

She also quizzes him on nautical terminology, such as distinguishing between port and starboard, reinforcing the episode's educational undertones.

---

10. Closing Thoughts and Well Wishes

Timestamp: [25:07] – [26:25]

As the episode nears its end, Marta expresses her appreciation for the conversation and shares final thoughts on maintaining connections while sailing:

Marta Dewolfe [25:58]: "It was an honor."

Conan reciprocates the sentiment, highlighting the meaningful exchanges that occur through the podcast.

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Notable Quotes

• Marta Dewolfe [05:19]: "I could see the eye forming above us. We were six hours away from shore and there were four water spouts around us."

• Conan O'Brien [22:38]: "But Sona's father was born in a village, Right? A long time ago."

• Marta Dewolfe [19:32]: "I've seen mosaics underneath."

• Conan O'Brien [21:46]: "All right, Marta, it was really nice talking to you. Stay safe."

---

Insights and Reflections

This episode offers listeners an intimate glimpse into the life of full-time sailors, highlighting the balance between adventure and the pragmatic aspects of living aboard a boat. Marta's journey underscores the importance of strong communication and mutual support in sustaining long-term relationships under challenging conditions. Additionally, the episode touches on cultural heritage, environmental encounters, and the unexpected ways in which media, like Conan's podcast, can provide comfort and connection in isolated circumstances.

Conan's humorous approach complements Marta's stories, making complex sailing terminology and experiences accessible and entertaining. The episode serves as both an inspiring narrative of exploration and a testament to the enduring human spirit in the pursuit of friendship and personal growth.

Transcript

[Conan O'Brien]

Foreign. Do you own a business that's ready to thrive?

[Sona Movsesian]

I do.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, it's time to let Intuit QuickBooks take things like unpaid invoices and tracking expenses off your plate to take things to the next level. Make sense?

[Sona Movsesian]

I really want my business to thrive.

[Conan O'Brien]

You should. It should. Intuit QuickBooks is an all in one business platform that can help with day to day tasks like invoicing and expenses. You want to be worried about that stuff?

[Sona Movsesian]

That's perfect. That's what I. That's all I do.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's my whole business.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's your whole business. Manage and grow your business all in one place. Intuit QuickBooks, your way to money. Money movement services are provided by Intuit Payments Incorporated, licensed as a money transmitter by the New York State Department of Financial Services.

[Matt Gourley]

One thing about the entertainment industry, it's easy to earn a reputation, even if it doesn't reflect who you really are. For example, everyone thinks that Discover is a card that isn't widely accepted. Can you believe that?

[Sona Movsesian]

I can't stand people who think that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, me neither.

[Matt Gourley]

Those are my least favorite kind of people. In reality, it's accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. This is a flawed concept. 99%?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, it's almost all of it.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, almost. But just 1% away. So maybe now you'll think twice before.

[Conan O'Brien]

Judging a book by its cover. Hello?

[Matt Gourley]

Unless it's a celebrity cookbook, just stay away from those. Celebrities can't cook. In that case, judge, you know what I mean. Whenever a celebrity is making a cake, I think that's a bad cake. Based on the February 2024 Nielsen report. Learn more at discovery.com credit card.

[Sona Movsesian]

Conan O' Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com call Conan. Okay, let's get started.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, Marta. Welcome to Conan o' Brien needs a fan.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Hi, everybody.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hi, Marta. How are you?

[Marta Dewolfe]

I'm just so happy to meet all of you. This is really it. This is right up there.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now it looks like you're either having an MRI or where are you? You're in some strange environment that I can't identify. Where are you right now physically?

[Marta Dewolfe]

You want my. My lat longs or do you want to know what. What I'm sitting on?

[Conan O'Brien]

Are you in a. You're in a boat. Are you in a boat? Oh, okay. You're in a boat. All right.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

When someone says, do you want to know my lat longs? I usually think that means a boat lat long.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh. Latitude and Longitude?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. Sometimes. Sometimes in clubs, I go up to women and say, do you want to see my lats?

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, God, no, no, no. You shouldn't do that.

[Conan O'Brien]

I know. They asked me to stop, so. Clubs, he said, having never been to a club. Your name is Marta. Marta dewolfe. This is what I know about you. And you're on a boat. Are you a real sailor, or how serious are you about sa.

[Marta Dewolfe]

We're starting our eighth year.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wait, eighth year sailing? So you've sailed the globe?

[Marta Dewolfe]

Well, with COVID we got stuck in Eastern Turkey, so we've gone about 22,000 miles.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Seven countries. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

So you started sailing and you said, we. Who are you sailing with?

[Marta Dewolfe]

My husband.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, so the two of us. The two of you sail together. How big is the boat?

[Marta Dewolfe]

It's a catamaran. It's 43ft.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. It's a good size.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Two people can handle it quite efficiently. We don't need anybody else, so.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. So you and your husband, for a number of years now, have been sailing together, circumnavigating the globe. Is it treacherous? I mean, I have to admit, I used to be intrigued by the idea of sailing the globe. And then I saw the movie Dead Calm. It's Nicole Kidman's first movie, and Billy Zane shows up and he's crazy. And I'm so terrified of late 1980s Billy Zane that I won't go on boats anymore.

[Sona Movsesian]

I wouldn't mind it.

[Marta Dewolfe]

There's a reason I don't watch those movies. And you also have to pick your crew really well.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, he wasn't even on the crew. I think the lesson I took away from Dead Calm, and I'm going to take this away from your life now. And just to the movie Dead Calm. Nicole Kidman's breakout performance was that they picked him up, he was on another boat, and he came, you know, rowing their way, and you don't pick up anybody. You don't pick up hitchhikers when you're on the high seas. Is that a good rule?

[Marta Dewolfe]

No, no. But yeah, it's. It's treacherous. We've been in a mini tsunami. Two Medicaid, five minutes.

[Conan O'Brien]

What's a medicane?

[Marta Dewolfe]

It's a hurricane in the Med.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Marta Dewolfe]

That's not fun. I'm sure you would have known that.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm sure you would have known that in the Mediterranean.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, okay. Sorry. You're using all these terms. You're not talking. Yeah, the three of us aren't pirates, you know, It's a hurricane in the med. I mean, medicane sounds like something you'd take if you had a migraine, doesn't it? So have you ever thought this could be it? We could die right now?

[Marta Dewolfe]

Yeah. Last year we were in the Ionian near Zakynthos.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Still I don't know what's happening. Everything you say, Marta, is a riddle. We were in a medicane. Where? In Glip Glop, near the Chip Chop.

[Marta Dewolfe]

This is one of the. This is one of the medicanes. And I could see. See the eye forming above us. And we were six hours away from shore and there were four water spouts around us. And you know, they flip boats. So I did. I called my dad and I said, do you know where my papers are? That was the scariest. But a lot of cool things have happened. Like, in eight years, we've had six or seven scary times. That was the scariest. But I would say 98% of it is just dolphins and mermaids.

[Conan O'Brien]

Very nice. I'm going to ask you about your relationship with your husband because I'm just thinking to myself if I was in a contained area with my wife and I love my wife. I love my wife. Take my wife, please. No, I love my wife. But, but take it easy. I haven't had my meds, but I have Medicaid. I had a medicain.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Your medicine.

[Conan O'Brien]

I. I'm just thinking of us being in a contained space, having to work together on the ocean for eight years.

[Sona Movsesian]

Jump.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. She would start. She would start swimming towards the crazy Billy Zane. Do you guys have times like that where you're really on each other's nerves?

[Marta Dewolfe]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did I say there were three bedrooms and three bathrooms? So I see.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

So what is it?

[Marta Dewolfe]

But it's, you know, it's helped our communication a lot because at some point you have to let go of the small stuff because it becomes dangerous. So we've. It's really like we. The kids left. You know, we became empty nesters.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, they didn't leave the boat.

[Marta Dewolfe]

They were pretty comfortable.

[Conan O'Brien]

I got the impression. No, no, they, they left. We took a hard turn to starboard and they went over the side and so the kids left. So you were empty nesters and that's when you decided to hit the high seas?

[Marta Dewolfe]

That's when we decided. Yeah, we wanted. We were pretty comfortable. We wanted to get out of our comfort zone and just kind of see a little bit what we were made of. And we thought we would do this maybe Three years, but we're starting our eighth.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wow.

[Marta Dewolfe]

So, yeah, there's seven countries.

[Conan O'Brien]

Incredible. And I want to just get to the. If let's say you're not getting along with your husband, what do you do? I mean, you can't do you just. You stay on your side of the boat and I'll stay on mine. How bad has it gotten?

[Marta Dewolfe]

Well, there was a time during COVID in Turkey where we didn't talk for quite a while and actually, I know this is Conan o' Brien needs a fan, but I would consider at one point you were. You three were my only friends.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, wow.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Was. I was on the kayak and I would go kayak around Cleopatra's ruins and. And some of the only English speaking people. And you'd make me laugh.

[Conan O'Brien]

You'd listen so much. You'd listen to our podcast when you were not getting along with your husband.

[Marta Dewolfe]

And laugh and he's like, oh, she's enjoying this or whatever, you know.

[Conan O'Brien]

Did I try. Let me ask you something.

[Sona Movsesian]

Question Worse, Marta.

[Conan O'Brien]

Did I drive a wedge between you and your husband? Did you fantasize. Did you fantasize about being with me and away from your husband when. When things were on the rocks?

[Marta Dewolfe]

I'm sure this isn't the only relationship you've wedged yourself in between.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, makes me sound like the intruder. But I listen, I hope I didn't cause exacerbate any problems, but it sounds like we brought you some joy at a dark time.

[Marta Dewolfe]

You. You did. And I've got to tell you, I was in a CrossFit class in. In Gallipoli in Greece and I was cracking up in the corner and this lady came over to me and in her Greece said. Her Greek said, I haven't laughed like that in so long. What are you listening to? I want to laugh like that. And so I showed her how to pull up your podcast on her device. And so there's a lady somewhere in Gallipoli, Greece, who's now cracking up laughing.

[Conan O'Brien]

Maybe. Or maybe she's going, I don't know what this is.

[Sona Movsesian]

Marta is speaking, spreading the word. I love that Marta paint the logo on your boat.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what? Sona has a good idea. The Conan logo on the side of your boat. We'd pay you. And I say that without before, before I even checked with Adam. But I'm sure there's money in that. We'll look into it. And I say that knowing there probably isn't.

[Marta Dewolfe]

All right, I. I'll take.

[Conan O'Brien]

We'll get you a T shirt.

[Marta Dewolfe]

I don't know, get you a T shirt. It would be great.

[Conan O'Brien]

It would be great.

[Marta Dewolfe]

I'd wear it proudly.

[Conan O'Brien]

Where are you now in the world?

[Marta Dewolfe]

Well, let's see. Do you know where this flag is from?

[Conan O'Brien]

Of course I do.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I don't. I'm ashamed to say I don't. That's. It's three legs.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Sicily.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, you're in Sicily. Oh, hold that flag up again. I've never been to Sicily. I've always wanted to go there. It's three legs coming out of a head. That is.

[Marta Dewolfe]

It's supposed to be the shape of the eye island is because the island's like a triangle. But we're. We're at the point where we need to lift the boat out because we do all the work ourselves. We sand and paint and like today I. We put the sails up because during the winter we take all the hardware off. And I sent my husband up the mast in the bolsa chair using the winch. But we're waiting for a phone call from Malta to see if they'll lift us out. So it's a 12 hour sail from here and we'll head to Malta, lift out sand, paint, and then head out to Greece.

[Conan O'Brien]

What's that? Yeah. So you're gonna go there. When you say lift out, they're gonna take this giant catamaran you're in using winches. They're gonna take it out of the water and put it in dry land.

[Marta Dewolfe]

They can do what? Yeah, they'll either use a crane or they'll use a sled. Like it goes underneath the boat. We've had both done. So we lift it out every other year to service the engines and paint. We have to put more antifouling underneath, get all the barnacles off and then paint it. And we do all that work ourselves.

[Conan O'Brien]

You do it all yourselves. Wow. So you've really challenged yourself. Can I ask you about your life before all this? Did you have a very conventional life? I mean, this is a.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Well, all that antifouling paint went to my head. I don't remember much of it, actually.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I can tell you. Pretty high anti. Fouling fumes.

[Marta Dewolfe]

You'd have to be. You'd have to be.

[Conan O'Brien]

So, you guys. And where did you. What is your port of call? Where did you leave from? Where did you sail out of? At the United States on the.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Well, we left. We bought the boat in France in 17 and then so we sailed down the. The eastern, western coast of Portugal, through Gibraltar and Da Da, da. But we sold the house in Bellevue, which, you know, Washington.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, that's where my wife is from. She's not from Bellevue, but she's from Seattle. Yeah. So. Wow.

[Marta Dewolfe]

You've. I've been listening for years. I know a lot of you.

[Conan O'Brien]

All you're living. I mean, this is a common. This is a fantasy a lot of people have, but they don't do it. And I think because of Billy Zane, again, I think he is.

[Sona Movsesian]

I don't think anybody else has really heard of that movie much.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's a big movie. Is it Dead calm? Yeah, it's a big movie.

[Sona Movsesian]

Four people in this room have not heard it. Only one person has.

[Conan O'Brien]

It was a breakout movie for Nicole Kidman.

[Sona Movsesian]

I mean, I remember Days of Thunder.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think it left an impact on you. Yeah, well, it did. It's kept me out of the water. I don't even go near water because of Billy Zane. And you'd think that would be because of the Titanic, but no, years before that. Dead calm. Listen, I took us, what you could say, way off course.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Man, you know what spring is to me?

[Sona Movsesian]

What?

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm not a poet or anything, but it's a season of renewal and quality rest.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's nice.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, really good rest. You know, winter's been so cold. It's hard to sleep in all that cold. And the wind's howling.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's wind?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, that's wind. Or a ghost. Well, winter's over and so is the excuse to hibernate if you're going to emerge from your cocoon. What? They're mixing a lot of things here. At least do it well rested. A new mattress could be the boost you need to face spring. And Mattress Firm can help anyone sleep all night, every night. Mattress Firm gets it done, son. Experience quality sleep on a premium mattress. Mattress Firm will find you the right bed with their wide selection of quality mattresses at every price, every single price ever imagined. Mattress Firm carries a curated premium selection of mattresses so you can get the upgrade you want. Sleep is important. Eight hours a night if you can get it. Curing sleep. Get matched at Mattress Firm's Memorial Day sale and sleep at night. Text Conan to 766693 for $100 off your next purchase at MAT. Buy CMattressroom.com or store for details. Hey, Sona, do you own a business that's ready to thrive?

[Sona Movsesian]

I do.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, it's time to let Intuit Quickbooks take things like unpaid invoices and tracking expenses off your plate to take things to the next level make sense?

[Sona Movsesian]

I really want my business to thrive.

[Conan O'Brien]

You should. It should. Intuit QuickBooks is an all in one business platform that can help with day to day tasks like invoicing and expenses. You want to be worried about that stuff?

[Sona Movsesian]

That's perfect. That's what I. That's all I do.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's my whole business.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's your whole business. Manage and grow your business all in one place. Intuit QuickBooks, your way to money. Money movement services are provided by Intuit Payments Incorporated. Licensed as a money transmitter by the New York State Department of Financial Services.

[Matt Gourley]

How hot do you like it? Firehouse Subs is churning up the heat. They've teamed up with hot ones to create two new sandwiches. The zesty garlic hook and ladder is the milder option. Can you believe that? Though still packed with flavor. And for the bravest spice chasers, the spicy dill hook and ladder sandwich is sure to be a three alarm situation. Well, Sona Blay, you guys sampled the wares today.

[Sona Movsesian]

We did.

[Conan O'Brien]

You had yourself.

[Matt Gourley]

Those hook and ladder sandwiches, how were they?

[Conan O'Brien]

They were great. And they had a kick.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, they did. I did the zesty garlic hook and ladder and I loved it.

[Conan O'Brien]

I took a walk in the wild side with the spicy dill hook and ladder and it was great. I loved it.

[Matt Gourley]

Well, I'm glad you guys enjoyed yourselves. Find out how hot you like it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Try the zesty garlic and spicy dill.

[Matt Gourley]

Hook and ladder at Firehouse Subs for a limited time. Life doesn't go on forever. You gotta grab the moment, dude. Visit firehouses.com to find a restaurant near you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Individuals sensitive to spice or the Carolina Reaper pepper should not consume the spicy dill hook and ladder. Limited time at participating Firehouse Subs restaurants. You know, one of the hardest parts about B2B marketing is reaching the right audience. You put so much effort into a campaign only for it to get wasted on the wrong people. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's ridiculous.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's crazy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, it's like, hey, Santa Claus, get your bathing suit over here.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, he doesn't need a bathing suit. He's up at the North Pole. What did I waste my time for?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, and he's got elves.

[Conan O'Brien]

Exactly.

[Sona Movsesian]

They can make it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, you're ruining the point I was trying to make. Yes. No. One of the hardest parts about B2B marketing is reaching the right audience. You put so much effort into a campaign only for it to get wasted on the wrong people. Fortunately, LinkedIn is a network of over 1 billion businessy people who might actually be interested in your business. You can target your buyers by job title, industry, company role, seniority, skills, or company revenue. So stop wasting budget on the wrong audience and start targeting the right professionals with LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn will give you $100 credit on your next campaign, so you can try it yourself. Just go to LinkedIn.com TeamCoco. That's LinkedIn.com TeamCoco. Terms and conditions apply only on LinkedIn. This is very cool, what you're doing, I think. And do you still keep in regular contact with your kids or do they not know where you are and haven't seen you in years?

[Marta Dewolfe]

They've all been to the boat and my father has come all the. You know, it's interesting. When my son first came, I said, like, if I were in Oklahoma, would you come see me? And he's like, hell no. But you're on a catamaran in Greece. So I'm coming. And I get it. You know, I get it. He's just joking. But it is pretty cool. It's really nice to have family. The hardest part is where do we get our mail?

[Conan O'Brien]

Did you sell your house to buy the boat? Wow. You sold everything. This is your life now.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Sold the house, the car.

[Sona Movsesian]

I would dress up like a pirate and look for treasure.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, you sort of dress like a pirate.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay.

[Marta Dewolfe]

In general, we have found some.

[Conan O'Brien]

You found treasures? Well, wait a minute. Let's. Let's get off the SIM cards and how the Internet can be sketchy and get to you finding treasure.

[Marta Dewolfe]

I did. I found some. They're called ampura. Amphoras.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, amphoras.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Yeah, pieces of amphoras that are under the sea.

[Conan O'Brien]

They are like little bottles, Right? That and it wasn't an amphora.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Well, they're big bottles.

[Conan O'Brien]

A jug.

[Marta Dewolfe]

They. They would transfer, hold oil or wine.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

Is there gold? Is there gold in it?

[Conan O'Brien]

No.

[Marta Dewolfe]

I've seen mosaics underneath.

[Conan O'Brien]

This isn't the Goonies. She turns everything into the Goonies.

[Marta Dewolfe]

I know you love the Goonies.

[Sona Movsesian]

I love the Goonies.

[Conan O'Brien]

I do. So anyway. No, no, no. Real treasure. If the Goonies were a realistic show, a bunch of kids who talked over each other would stumble upon. Would stumble upon a bunch of big old empty bottles of olive oil. That's what they would find. And they'd call it the rich stuff, because kids don't know what treasure is. Horrible movie.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Can you imagine them on a boat?

[Sona Movsesian]

Geez, yes, I can. And I have. I've dreamt about it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, let's move we went. We got into dangerous shoals here. Marta. Well, before we go, any advice for me on do you think I have what it takes to sail the.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Do you think I do? I've actually got a few jobs for you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh yeah.

[Marta Dewolfe]

If you decide to come to visit. So that we've got really high ceilings. So I think you could. You would be fine.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's the first question I asked before I go anywhere. Yeah. And a king size bed. Right?

[Marta Dewolfe]

And king size beds and every. But I. When you come. If you come to the boat, we would give you two jobs. One, you could reef the main and two, you can furl the jib. And you can furl a jib by hand.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sure.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Because that. We don't have the electric winch for that. And you're strong enough. I know you want.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm a strong guy. Yeah. Thank you for saying. And you can tell I'm strong just probably from looking at me or just from stuff you've read.

[Marta Dewolfe]

I heard you brag on the. On other parts.

[Conan O'Brien]

Word for it. So you're. Take your. You're going off that by. From me. Okay. That's not good. Yeah. So reef the sail and jib the jab.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Reef the main and furl the jab.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's furl the. It's the jab. Please. This sounds like stuff I could do. Will I do it? I don't know. Yes, go ahead.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Do you know the difference between port and starboard? Like the easy way to figure it out.

[Conan O'Brien]

Give me the little quickie. Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Starboard's to the.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Starboard's to the four letters.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Port is four letters. Left is four letters. And port. What color is port wine? Red. So everything's red. Left is port. Everything else is starboard.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh.

[Conan O'Brien]

Huh. That's. I always knew that starboard was to the right. I just. I did know that.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I knew starboard was to the right.

[Marta Dewolfe]

And it's green. Yeah, and it's green. Yeah. So this is right up there with meeting the Michael Jackson of Albania.

[Sona Movsesian]

In Albania.

[Marta Dewolfe]

I just want to tell you how.

[Conan O'Brien]

You met the Michael Jackson of Albania.

[Marta Dewolfe]

How's he going in Albania?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Okay.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Oh, he's good. He's really good.

[Conan O'Brien]

Does he look anything like Michael Jackson?

[Marta Dewolfe]

Not at all.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, right.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Not at all. And Sona, before we go, I want to tell you I went to the only Armenian village in turkey and there's 103 residents. Inhabitants. And I thought of you. I was there. I thought if I ever. I don't know if I'd write you a note or something. But I did think of you. I thought, oh, that's nice. And really close to Syria.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah. Do you know what it's like?

[Marta Dewolfe]

But I was just thinking, I wonder.

[Sona Movsesian]

If it's the village my dad's from.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Zakifli.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, that's not it. Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

Excuse me.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay. Bless you.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Bless you.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's very cool.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm allergic to her talking about Armenia. No, I just sneezed and it was an accident. But Sona's father was born in a village, Right? A long time ago. And Sivas Pastia.

[Marta Dewolfe]

No, Sivas. That's in Turkey. That's where Asik Vesa was from.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yes, that's where my dad's from. See?

[Conan O'Brien]

See, this is cool. He grew up. And you said that he doesn't even have a birth certificate or. He got one. Someone would come twice a year.

[Sona Movsesian]

Well, yeah, they came and they. Yes, yes. Is his birthday on this birth certificate, his real birthday? No.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Sona Movsesian]

You know, but.

[Conan O'Brien]

Got it.

[Sona Movsesian]

Is it a document that said he was born? Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's very cool. I love your dad. Your dad's a cool guy. Cool mustache.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay. I knew the mustache was coming.

[Conan O'Brien]

Marta, I'll. You know, if we cross paths, I will try to help you on the boat. I'm gonna be honest with you. I'll probably just hang out and.

[Marta Dewolfe]

That's all right.

[Conan O'Brien]

If there's snacks.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Most people think we lay around and drink chardonnay all day. We don't, as you probably have gathered. But you could, if you came to see us, you could lay around and drink chardonnay all day.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right. Like one of the Desperate Housewives. Completely covered. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that's. The sun is a problem for me. So I just stay. I'd stay below deck, I think, and.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Put you in a big, big hat.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I just stay under the covers in my bed. My king size bed, and I get one of those hats that you can drink beer out of. Only I'd put chardonnay in it. I just lie in there and I'm.

[Marta Dewolfe]

On a boat with my flippy floppies.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, with my flippy floppies.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's why I'm drunk.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, Marta, it was really nice talking to you. Stay safe.

[Marta Dewolfe]

I have a question for you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, you do? Okay, go ahead.

[Marta Dewolfe]

I do. So I know that you are a pizza aficionado and the marinara is your go to pizza.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Marta Dewolfe]

So I went out with a group of friends. They said it's the best pizza place in. And I'm in Sicily. Right. Everybody says it's the best pizza and every restaurant says it's the best pizza. It was so disappointing. And I'd like to know, when you are looking at these different pizzerias throughout Italy or New York or wherever you are, how do you determine what a good pizzeria is?

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, I have to see the pizza. I have to actually see the pizza. I have to get eyes on it. The best pizza I've had is in Naples. I had amazing pizza Napoli. And so you could get there pretty quickly. From where you are now, there's probably just a couple of hours. Depends on your ladder.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Your long one hour in a car is eight hours for us. Okay, well, it would take about three weeks to get there.

[Conan O'Brien]

Really? I think you should get rid of the boat. Just get a private plane, zip around. But yeah, get eyes on the pizza. And if it looks good, it probably is good. That's all I can tell you. Pizza is like people. I know a good one when I see one. Looking around the room, a lot of people smell it. A lot of bad pizza in this room. Marta, it was nice chatting with you. Happy sails.

[Marta Dewolfe]

It was an honor.

[Conan O'Brien]

Red dawn at night Sailors won't fight Starboard to lee mizzen mass.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Lots of glee.

[Conan O'Brien]

Lots of glee. Thank you very much. Avoid the brie. It's been out in the sun. I think that's a hot dog bun.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm going to go to the hospital. But it was nice talking to you, Marta. You take care of.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Okay. I really enjoyed it. Thanks for having me.

[Conan O'Brien]

Bye bye.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Bye bye, everyone. Buena serra, buena sera.

[Matt Gourley]

Conan o' Brien needs a fan. With Conan o' Brien, Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley produced by me, Matt Gourley Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

[Conan O'Brien]

Take it away, Jimmy.

[Matt Gourley]

Supervising producer Aaron Blair Associate Talent Producer Jennifer Samples Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm Engineering by eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail] Conan Please rate, review and subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a fan. Wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[Amica Insurance Representative]

Every day, our world gets a little more connected, but a little further apart. But then there are moments that remind us to be more human.

[Marta Dewolfe]

Thank you for calling Amica Insurance.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, I was just in an accident. Don't worry, we'll get you taken care of.

[Amica Insurance Representative]

At Ameca, we understand that looking out for each other isn't new or groundbreaking.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's human.

[Amica Insurance Representative]

Amika. Empathy is our best policy.

[Conan O'Brien]

All set for your flight?

[T-Mobile Representative]

Yep. I've got everything I need. Eye mask, neck pillow, T Mobile. Headphones.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wait. T Mobile?

[T-Mobile Representative]

You bet. Free in flight. Wi Fi. 15 off all Hilton brands. I never go anywhere without T Mobile. Same goes from a water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm gonna leave you to it.

[Matt Gourley]

Find out how you can experience travel.

[Conan O'Brien]

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