Podcast Summary

Podcast: Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Episode: "Limp Paddle" with D’Arcy Carden
Date: December 25, 2025
Host: Conan O’Brien, Sona Movsesian
Special Guest: D’Arcy Carden
Fan Guest: Derek from Mountain View, CA

Episode Overview

This episode features a lively and comedic exploration of competitive pinball culture, friendship, and the unique personalities that make up Conan’s podcast universe. Conan and Sona are joined by actor D’Arcy Carden and special fan guest Derek, a commissioner of the San Francisco Pinball Department. The group dives into Derek’s connections to Conan, the internal workings and etiquette of pinball leagues, and envisions what a Conan-themed pinball machine might look like—all through an unfiltered, playful lens.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Derek’s ‘Friendship Credentials’ with Conan

Timestamps: 03:16–05:15

• Derek humorously presents three “connections” to Conan, including:
  • A mutual high school acquaintance tied to Judd Apatow.
  • Friendships with the Sklar Brothers (comedy duo, previous Conan guests).
  • Derek’s wife rooming with musician Kesha at Columbia University, with D’Arcy’s wife, Liza, as Kesha’s professor.
• Quote:
  • “I have three connections in particular... in some universe, I probably could be a friend at some point.” — Derek (03:18)
  • “Home run. You got there.” — Conan (04:27)

2. Pinball League Life: Competition, Tactics, and Culture

Timestamps: 06:00–16:00

• Derek elaborates on his titles and responsibilities as one of the commissioners of the San Francisco Pinball Department (SF Pinball League), where 100+ players compete at Free Gold Watch in Haight-Ashbury.

• Explains the Swiss-style match play, scoring system, and atmosphere.

• “We actually have a former world champion in our league who won the big enchilada back in 2013.” — Derek (07:16)

• Tactics for pinball:

  • Patience over brute force: Being calm, learning “dead flips” (letting the ball bounce off a flipper without hitting) to gain control.
  • “The biggest thing... is patience. For most people, it is a very random thing... but one of the key skills is what's called the dead flip.” — Derek (08:28)

• Table movement is permitted to a degree; excessive force triggers “tilt” and penalties.

• Memorable Moment:

  • Conan admits to being “a basher,” saying, “I bash things. I smash them like a gorilla with a Samsonite suitcase in an ad in 1966.” (11:11)

3. Pinball League Ethics: Cheating & Trash Talk

Timestamps: 11:55–14:25

• Conan questions the possibility of cheating—Derek assures it’s rare, as machines are hard to tamper with.
• Discussion on trash talk:
  • D’Arcy invents “You got limp paddle!” as a zinger.
  • “Can you say you got a limp paddle?” — D’Arcy (13:23)
  • Derek approves, suggesting D’Arcy could bring new “heat” to the pinball circuit.
  • Swearing is tolerated if it’s genuine; truly disruptive conduct can result in ejection.

4. Pinball Machines: Iconic Games and Personal Favorites

Timestamps: 18:46–24:00

• Discussion of themed pinball games, especially "The Simpsons Pinball Party" and its mechanics.
• Derek distinguishes between “fun” themes and “competitive” games, noting some machines are disliked due to gameplay flaws (see the “big stupid ramp”).
• D’Arcy and Conan both revisit childhood frustrations about pinball physics—particularly losing balls “down the middle.”
• Derek’s favorites:
  • Competition: Royal Flush (mid-1960s; poker hand theme).
  • Personal: Jim Henson’s Labyrinth (recent purchase approved by his wife).

5. Obsession & Balance: Pinball's Place in Derek’s Life

Timestamps: 24:00–25:47

• Derek confesses his passion for pinball (and other hobbies) required a “sit down” with his wife, leading to therapy pre-kids to work on balance.
  • “We went to therapy to really have somebody help us talk through... hey, I do a lot of things. Not only pinball.” — Derek (24:21)
• Jokes about support groups for pinball (“twitchy thumbs, bing bing bong...”) and about D’Arcy’s “Tetris dreams.”

6. Envisioning a Conan Pinball Machine

Timestamps: 27:07–30:24

• Derek pitches a Team Coco-branded pinball machine. Conan insists it must feature a pop-up Conan figure—preferably himself hiding in the cabinet.
  • “I would like to physically come out of the machine... and take a selfie and then buy [the winner] a round of drinks.” — Conan (27:32)
• D’Arcy’s wild take involves a (jokingly) naked Conan figure on the playfield, his features as part of the pinball mechanics.
• Conan and D’Arcy banter, riffing on possible design elements (“what would the flippers be?” “Maybe it’s my feet... or it’s the string dance”).
  • “Maybe the pinball goes in your belly button.” — D’Arcy (29:15)
  • “Or it’s the string dance!” — Conan & D’Arcy (29:32)
• Laughter ensues at the notion of including long-running Conan “IP” like the masturbating bear or Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

7. Conclusion: Friendship & Pinball Geekery Triumph

Timestamps: 30:24–30:55

• Group thanks Derek for his tales and expertise.
• Warm, mutual appreciation:
  • “You never apologize for being you, D’Arcy. Never apologize for being you.” — Conan (22:42)
  • “You're a very lovely fellow, and I have nine reasons why." — Conan (30:47)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Derek, pitching his “friend” credentials:
  “In some universe, I probably could be a friend at some point. And I have three connections...” (03:18)

• Conan, on his pinball play style:
  “I’m a basher. I smash things like a gorilla with a Samsonite suitcase in an ad in 1966.” (11:11)

• Trash talk innovation:
  “Can you say you got a limp paddle?” — D’Arcy (13:23)

• Conan’s ultimate pinball machine vision:
  “I would like to physically come out of the machine... and take a selfie and then buy [the winner] a round of drinks.” (27:32)

• D’Arcy’s design brainstorm:
  “What if the pinball goes in your belly button?” (29:15)

• Derek, about his marriage and hobbies:
  “We went to therapy... to help us talk through, like, hey, I do a lot of things. Not only pinball…” (24:21)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Derek’s connections and fan pitch: 03:16–05:15
• Introduction to pinball competition: 06:00–08:28
• Pinball tactics/patience: 08:28–10:52
• Professional pinball culture & etiquette: 11:55–14:25
• Cheating & trash talk: 13:15–14:25
• Discussion of famous pinball games: 18:46–20:30
• Personal favorites & pinball as obsession: 22:59–24:58
• Designing a Team Coco pinball machine: 27:07–30:24
• Closing appreciations: 30:24–30:55

Tone & Style

The conversation is loose, quick-witted, and irreverent, typical of Conan’s comedic brand. D’Arcy Carden matches Conan in playful energy, riffing on every scenario, while Derek embodies geeky enthusiasm, offering both earnest expertise and self-deprecating humor. Sona serves as a warm, bemused foil. The episode celebrates fandom, niche obsessions, and the joy of affectionate ribbing among friends.

Summary

This episode is a characteristically zany installment of "Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend," blending deep dives into pinball subculture with the podcast’s hallmark banter and inventive digressions. It highlights the charms of passionate niche communities, the search for genuine connections, and the unique fun when celebrity and fan worlds collide—with the ever-present chance that Conan will take any concept (even a pinball machine) gloriously off the rails.