Limp Paddle With Special Guest D’Arcy Carden

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Episode: "Limp Paddle" with D’Arcy Carden
Date: December 25, 2025
Host: Conan O’Brien, Sona Movsesian
Special Guest: D’Arcy Carden
Fan Guest: Derek from Mountain View, CA

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Episode Overview

This episode features a lively and comedic exploration of competitive pinball culture, friendship, and the unique personalities that make up Conan’s podcast universe. Conan and Sona are joined by actor D’Arcy Carden and special fan guest Derek, a commissioner of the San Francisco Pinball Department. The group dives into Derek’s connections to Conan, the internal workings and etiquette of pinball leagues, and envisions what a Conan-themed pinball machine might look like—all through an unfiltered, playful lens.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Derek’s ‘Friendship Credentials’ with Conan

Timestamps: 03:16–05:15

• Derek humorously presents three “connections” to Conan, including:
  • A mutual high school acquaintance tied to Judd Apatow.
  • Friendships with the Sklar Brothers (comedy duo, previous Conan guests).
  • Derek’s wife rooming with musician Kesha at Columbia University, with D’Arcy’s wife, Liza, as Kesha’s professor.
• Quote:
  • “I have three connections in particular... in some universe, I probably could be a friend at some point.” — Derek (03:18)
  • “Home run. You got there.” — Conan (04:27)

2. Pinball League Life: Competition, Tactics, and Culture

Timestamps: 06:00–16:00

• Derek elaborates on his titles and responsibilities as one of the commissioners of the San Francisco Pinball Department (SF Pinball League), where 100+ players compete at Free Gold Watch in Haight-Ashbury.

• Explains the Swiss-style match play, scoring system, and atmosphere.

• “We actually have a former world champion in our league who won the big enchilada back in 2013.” — Derek (07:16)

• Tactics for pinball:

  • Patience over brute force: Being calm, learning “dead flips” (letting the ball bounce off a flipper without hitting) to gain control.
  • “The biggest thing... is patience. For most people, it is a very random thing... but one of the key skills is what's called the dead flip.” — Derek (08:28)

• Table movement is permitted to a degree; excessive force triggers “tilt” and penalties.

• Memorable Moment:

  • Conan admits to being “a basher,” saying, “I bash things. I smash them like a gorilla with a Samsonite suitcase in an ad in 1966.” (11:11)

3. Pinball League Ethics: Cheating & Trash Talk

Timestamps: 11:55–14:25

• Conan questions the possibility of cheating—Derek assures it’s rare, as machines are hard to tamper with.
• Discussion on trash talk:
  • D’Arcy invents “You got limp paddle!” as a zinger.
  • “Can you say you got a limp paddle?” — D’Arcy (13:23)
  • Derek approves, suggesting D’Arcy could bring new “heat” to the pinball circuit.
  • Swearing is tolerated if it’s genuine; truly disruptive conduct can result in ejection.

4. Pinball Machines: Iconic Games and Personal Favorites

Timestamps: 18:46–24:00

• Discussion of themed pinball games, especially "The Simpsons Pinball Party" and its mechanics.
• Derek distinguishes between “fun” themes and “competitive” games, noting some machines are disliked due to gameplay flaws (see the “big stupid ramp”).
• D’Arcy and Conan both revisit childhood frustrations about pinball physics—particularly losing balls “down the middle.”
• Derek’s favorites:
  • Competition: Royal Flush (mid-1960s; poker hand theme).
  • Personal: Jim Henson’s Labyrinth (recent purchase approved by his wife).

5. Obsession & Balance: Pinball's Place in Derek’s Life

Timestamps: 24:00–25:47

• Derek confesses his passion for pinball (and other hobbies) required a “sit down” with his wife, leading to therapy pre-kids to work on balance.
  • “We went to therapy to really have somebody help us talk through... hey, I do a lot of things. Not only pinball.” — Derek (24:21)
• Jokes about support groups for pinball (“twitchy thumbs, bing bing bong...”) and about D’Arcy’s “Tetris dreams.”

6. Envisioning a Conan Pinball Machine

Timestamps: 27:07–30:24

• Derek pitches a Team Coco-branded pinball machine. Conan insists it must feature a pop-up Conan figure—preferably himself hiding in the cabinet.
  • “I would like to physically come out of the machine... and take a selfie and then buy [the winner] a round of drinks.” — Conan (27:32)
• D’Arcy’s wild take involves a (jokingly) naked Conan figure on the playfield, his features as part of the pinball mechanics.
• Conan and D’Arcy banter, riffing on possible design elements (“what would the flippers be?” “Maybe it’s my feet... or it’s the string dance”).
  • “Maybe the pinball goes in your belly button.” — D’Arcy (29:15)
  • “Or it’s the string dance!” — Conan & D’Arcy (29:32)
• Laughter ensues at the notion of including long-running Conan “IP” like the masturbating bear or Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

7. Conclusion: Friendship & Pinball Geekery Triumph

Timestamps: 30:24–30:55

• Group thanks Derek for his tales and expertise.
• Warm, mutual appreciation:
  • “You never apologize for being you, D’Arcy. Never apologize for being you.” — Conan (22:42)
  • “You're a very lovely fellow, and I have nine reasons why." — Conan (30:47)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Derek, pitching his “friend” credentials:
  “In some universe, I probably could be a friend at some point. And I have three connections...” (03:18)

• Conan, on his pinball play style:
  “I’m a basher. I smash things like a gorilla with a Samsonite suitcase in an ad in 1966.” (11:11)

• Trash talk innovation:
  “Can you say you got a limp paddle?” — D’Arcy (13:23)

• Conan’s ultimate pinball machine vision:
  “I would like to physically come out of the machine... and take a selfie and then buy [the winner] a round of drinks.” (27:32)

• D’Arcy’s design brainstorm:
  “What if the pinball goes in your belly button?” (29:15)

• Derek, about his marriage and hobbies:
  “We went to therapy... to help us talk through, like, hey, I do a lot of things. Not only pinball…” (24:21)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Derek’s connections and fan pitch: 03:16–05:15
• Introduction to pinball competition: 06:00–08:28
• Pinball tactics/patience: 08:28–10:52
• Professional pinball culture & etiquette: 11:55–14:25
• Cheating & trash talk: 13:15–14:25
• Discussion of famous pinball games: 18:46–20:30
• Personal favorites & pinball as obsession: 22:59–24:58
• Designing a Team Coco pinball machine: 27:07–30:24
• Closing appreciations: 30:24–30:55

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Tone & Style

The conversation is loose, quick-witted, and irreverent, typical of Conan’s comedic brand. D’Arcy Carden matches Conan in playful energy, riffing on every scenario, while Derek embodies geeky enthusiasm, offering both earnest expertise and self-deprecating humor. Sona serves as a warm, bemused foil. The episode celebrates fandom, niche obsessions, and the joy of affectionate ribbing among friends.

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Summary

This episode is a characteristically zany installment of "Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend," blending deep dives into pinball subculture with the podcast’s hallmark banter and inventive digressions. It highlights the charms of passionate niche communities, the search for genuine connections, and the unique fun when celebrity and fan worlds collide—with the ever-present chance that Conan will take any concept (even a pinball machine) gloriously off the rails.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[B]

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[B]

Conan O' Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com call Conan. Okay, let's get started.

[C]

Hello, folks.

[B]

Hi, Derek. Welcome to Conan. Needs a fan with special Darcy Cardin.

[A]

Derek, how are you?

[C]

I'm doing well. Good to see you.

[B]

Okay, so you can see us.

[A]

You can see us and we can see you.

[C]

Oh, yeah. That's what I was waiting for.

[A]

Derek, where are you calling from?

[C]

I'm in Mountain View, California.

[A]

Very nice.

[B]

I've been there.

[A]

Have you been to Mountain View?

[B]

Is that where Shoreline is? Shoreline Amphitheater.

[C]

Yeah, Shoreline Amphitheater there.

[A]

So you know things by theater?

[B]

Yes, yes, yes. Well, I saw Lollapalooza there when I was, like, in junior high. At the Shoreline?

[A]

I'm confirming.

[C]

Lizza.

[B]

Yeah, in like, 90 freaking something.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

At the Shoreline. Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

He's kind of saying it like, oh, she's wrong, but I'm right. No, interesting. But I'm right.

[C]

I thought that was a Chicago show, but maybe. Maybe that. Maybe I.

[B]

It used to travel. Yeah. No, but we got off on the wrong side.

[C]

That's wonderful, Darcy.

[A]

Normally, I would say, no, no, no, Darcy. I would say that pretty much anything anyone adds is valuable. This has been a diarrhea cul de sac. Absolute diarrhea. That's what I do.

[C]

It was perfect. It was perfect. No notes.

[A]

No notes.

[B]

Great. Great.

[A]

There are no mistakes.

[B]

Great.

[A]

Except that one. Derek, I understand that you're somehow related to the world of pinball, but I don't know in what way.

[C]

Yes, well, I want to talk about that. One quick thing I wanted to say is not only am I connected to pinball, but I am also connected to you in ways that I think I would just like to lay it out there my case, that of course, I am a fan, but in some universe, I probably could be a friend at some point. And I have three connections in particular, I just wanted to highlight real quick. So today I was listening to your latest or one of your latest. The Judd Apatow returns. Judd Apatow, longtime collaborator of his, is Amanda Glaze. Went to high school with me, so. So that's one.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Second, I am very good friends with Randy and Jason Sklar. Two times shown on your show, 2011, 2022. Or I'm sorry, 2020. And then the third.

[A]

Can I say something? Number three better be really good.

[C]

Really good.

[A]

I'm just being honest with you.

[C]

Yes. That last one.

[A]

You want toffee bar? I'm holding a chocolate bar that sometimes is mixed with toffee.

[C]

Okay. This one I do think is good.

[A]

The pressure is really.

[C]

I think it's pretty good. I think it's pretty good. Well, and you can rate it however you see. But in 2007, my wife roomed with Ke$, your friend, at Columbia University for a summer program where my wife's instructor, her professor for that program was Liza.

[B]

Okay, that's it. He got there.

[A]

Home run. You got there. I. Listen, listen, listen. Ke$very strong. Because I love Ken. Kesha and I are. She's my spirit animal.

[B]

And we talking to the singer Ke$.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She's amazing.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

No Ke Do's my spirit animal. And we are good pals. And I live and breathe all things KE Doll. So that was very strong. But then when you pull out that her professor was my wife, that's nuts. That's nuts. And I remember that summer, Liza was pregnant that summer.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think me. Yeah. With you. With Darcy. With Darcy.

[C]

Right, right.

[A]

And you came out, you went gaga, goo goo. And then winked right to camera. And you were 20. It was just really weird.

[B]

And you were like, I don't want it. I don't want her.

[A]

I was like, this is the kid for me. Well, that's amazing. That's very cool. Yeah. And Derek. No, I. I'm gonna get us to pinball because someone told me a little beep beep.

[B]

That's what a bird says.

[A]

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. It's a robot bird.

[B]

Oh, you should have said that then.

[A]

I think with Darcy here, we aren't going to get to anything with you, Derek. No, no, I love it.

[B]

I.

[A]

Absolutely. This is great. Yes. Beep, beep. I'm a bird.

[B]

I'm half a walrus.

[A]

It's all broken.

[C]

Derek.

[A]

I don't care anymore what your shtick is. No, I just.

[C]

We're just here to have a nice conversation.

[A]

Sure. So, pinball, anything ring a bell? Yes.

[C]

Oh, yes. So, yeah. So, pinball. Yes. I'm happy to share about it, actually, because I have a lot to say about it. And so I wouldn't think so based.

[A]

On how this has gone so far. We'll get to pinball. But first, 95 things the Sklar brothers once asked you on Broadway. They were on their way to get a sandwich and you had just come from the sandwich islands. Go ahead.

[C]

No, it was Mendocino Farms. I'd be clear about it.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Scary, but no. Yeah. So pinball. Yeah, it's one of my. My, my great loves. So I figured I would just give you a little insight into sort of what the competitive pinball landscape kind of looks like.

[A]

Well, you have an official title, do you not, in the world of pinball?

[C]

I do, I do. I'm one of the commissioners of the San Francisco Pinball Department. Sfp. Okay. So it's a little bit north of me because I'm in Mountain View. San Francisco is about, you know, 38 miles north. Not to be exact, but the. Yeah, the pinball league. 100 people. We all compete at this lovely print shop that has 50 pinball ma. The front, by the name Free Gold Watch. If you go to San Francisco in the hate Ashbury, please go check it out. It's wonderful. But yeah, it's a. It's a match play style of competition where you are randomly put into, like, let's say if this was our group of four, you play five games over the course of the night, you get points based on how you finish each game. So if we play the first game, Conan, you get the best score. Darcy, you get the second best score. 7, 5, 3, 1. So you accumulate those points. There's a big finals at the end, and we actually have a former world champion and in our league who won the big Enchilada back in 2013.

[A]

Okay, Derek, I have some questions that must be answered immediately. 1.

[C]

Yes, please.

[A]

How can one play pinball? Well, I mean, you're very limited because you just have these two flippers you can operate and. Right.

[C]

Well, sometimes more.

[A]

Oh, okay. Sometimes. Okay. But still, how does one become, say, the pinball wizard, such a supple wrist. Pinball wizard. There has to be a twist.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

What's the twist?

[A]

I mean, because I know that that guy, even at his favorite table, he can beat my best. Anyway, I'm searching for the next lyric. When he was a cowboy, he once owned a vest.

[B]

I don't think that was okay.

[A]

He thought that he was sick, so he had that special test. Listen, Derek, I don't think there's any time for you today.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[A]

I'm not kidding. We're going to get to this. How does one play pinball? Well, what would you tell me to do?

[C]

Well, I think the biggest thing. I think that one of. One of the biggest things that I tell people sort of, you know, to try to break down pinball into. I think what is a key element is patience. And I think one of the things that a lot of people do, you know, for most people, it is a very random thing, right? You play pinball, you put your money in, the ball goes. It kind of goes where it goes. You're sort of at the whim of physics.

[A]

And I want to say. I'll just cut in and say, I bash a lot. I'm a basher. So the ball gets near my flipper, and I'm just bashing away. That is wrong. That's not what I should be doing, correct? No.

[C]

Well, not necessarily. So.

[A]

So.

[C]

And this is something I also wanted to talk about is, you know, a lot of people think that you are not allowed, like, that it's cheating to move the table, right? Not, not. Not against the rules. You can.

[A]

You can do stuff to the table. I thought it said tilt. Tilt. And you were disqualified.

[C]

So that's the natural consequence if you move it too much. So you got to. You got to know the sort of cadence of the game in order to, you know, move it how you need to, because sometimes the ball's coming Straight down the middle. You got to do something right.

[B]

Sometimes you get out of it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's.

[C]

Well, there's one thing you can do is you give that. Give that game a good shake, and then. And then you can make it happen.

[A]

It won't say tilt.

[C]

You might. If you do it too hard, you got to find the.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is part of being a professional.

[C]

Yes, yes. You got to. You got to have, like that. That finesse.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

But. Yeah, but the patience element that I want to. I wanted to mention was in terms of, you know, when the. When the ball comes to the flippers, I think it's very. And I. I'll demonstrate here, is that as soon as it gets down there, y. You just start going crazy. You're just. You're just trying to get the ball right back up to the top, which is, you know, natural inclination. A lot of times, the. One of the key skills I think you want to build is what's called the dead flip. And the dead flip is essentially, you watch that ball. If you see that's coming to one of the flippers, you let it strike that flipper without flipping and let the natural carom of the ball go to the other flipper and maybe even hold that ball. Then you can cradle it. You know, hold it in. In sort of stationary position or, you know, just at least get a slower shot off so you can control your pace of.

[A]

You cradle the ball.

[C]

You can cradle the ball. Yes.

[A]

And then you hold it and then let it go.

[B]

Then you let. You cradle it, and then you let it go flip.

[C]

And then. Yeah, you. You figure out that sweet spot on the flipper. You're in your fancy tentacle turn.

[B]

Well, you kind of let it go do.

[A]

And then flip a loo.

[C]

She's right on it.

[B]

Yeah. But I think I do have that patience. I think. I think I could be a part of this. I'm gonna meet you a free gold watch.

[C]

Yes. Well, and there's plenty of great leagues in LA as well.

[A]

And also, this is something I know about Darcy just from previous conversations we've had, that she's from the Bay Area originally. So this would be a natural for you to go to this place, play this game. You have the patience. I'm. I'm not a patient man.

[B]

Right, right, right.

[A]

I'm just gonna say that I'm not a patient man.

[B]

You need to know that about yourself.

[A]

And I'm a rough person. I bash things. I smash them like a gorilla.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

With a Samsonite suitcase in an ad in 1966. That's me.

[C]

Wonderful.

[A]

Yeah, that would be a problem. But I would be willing to manage Darcy, if you quit everything you're doing in show business and went 247 hard on. I would sponsor you.

[B]

You would?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. I would.

[A]

No acting. No more of your success. You say goodbye to all that, because this is the future. Now. There's no time for that.

[B]

I honestly love it. I love pinball.

[A]

That's an agreement.

[B]

Okay, great. So I'll sign right here. Conan o'.

[A]

Brien.

[C]

I'm an attorney as well, so this is. I'm a witness.

[A]

I can never write.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So this is fascinating. Is there any cheating? Do people ever mess with the game? Have you ever caught someone who has infiltrated the game, maybe tweaked it, in a way, added another ball?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Sorry, I said that. Like, it's easy to do. It's not easy to do that.

[A]

I mean, that wasn't what I was thinking, but. But I wasn't getting that specific. Right. Sure. Yeah.

[C]

Well, definitely things I'd say. I'd say in terms of, you know, I guess, conduct issues that you might encounter, you know, if our officials who. We have players who act as officials during the league nights and during the tournaments. If they see, you know, basically, like, bad behavior, like trying to distract players sometimes, like, playing in a way that is meant to kind of, like, you know, pull their eyeline away. Like you kind of stand. I would do that on their side.

[A]

Oh. Can I ask you a question? Is there trash talking? Is the trash talk.

[C]

There is. There is, but I'd say, you know, you got to just, like, any. Any area, you got to know your audience.

[A]

Right.

[C]

So I think. I think there's probably most of the trash talk is between, you know, people who really are just playing hard and want to have fun sometimes. Yeah. If there is trash talk, the tournament directors have extraordinary discretion to give warnings or to just ban or exclude someone from a tournament if they think that they're just not conducive to the environment. So that's. That's.

[B]

What. What would be an example of trash talk of, like. Like, you got a lip paddle. Right, right, right.

[A]

But that's okay.

[B]

Yeah. Can you say you got paddle. So limp.

[A]

Can you say you got limp paddle?

[B]

Do you ever say you got a limp paddle?

[C]

That's a new one. I mean, I think. I think you could bring a lot to the trash talk game with that.

[B]

I know I'm pretty good at trash talking, but is it just, like. Is it probably. No swearing Right. No F, no S, no B, no A.

[C]

Even.

[A]

God, very even there.

[C]

I mean, W's fine. But no, I'd say with that there's actually a fair amount of tolerance or at least I've seen people who have really big reactions. And even then, as long as it's genuine, sort of like it's in the heat of passion, it's not really directed in sort of a really sort of malicious way. I think that you might get a warning just like, hey, just try to keep your cool. But you're not going to get banned for that. And so, yeah, I think, you know, there's, there's levels to it as with any sort of group activity that way. But in terms of the game. Yeah, the adulteration of the game I'd say is probably unlikely. There's, I mean, there's maybe one, one thing that actually happens when you say fixing the game.

[A]

You mean it's hard to get in there and adjust the electronics?

[C]

Yeah, like, or, or yeah, like you would have to like especially Sona to your, to your suggestion in terms of adding balls or something like that that would require you to remove the glass or unless you like drilled a hole in the side.

[A]

No, but that's what I'm talking about. Someone coming in the night before being lowered on ropes like Tom CR Cruise. Right. And then, you know, lifting the glass off with little suction cups and then inserting another ball and then maybe some other stuff in there, trimming a wire, doing this or that. It gives you the advantage.

[B]

Yeah, but then also the next person that uses it's not yours, it blows.

[C]

Up after you self destructs. Right?

[B]

Right. And then you win.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[B]

Oh.

[A]

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[B]

Mm.

[A]

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[B]

What is going on?

[A]

Find gifts that truly mean something@macy's.com giftguide or shop in store. The best B2B marketing gets wasted on the wrong people. Man, this tears me up. So when you want to reach the right professionals, use LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn has grown to a network of over 1 billion professionals, including 130 million decision makers. Hmm. I wonder if I'm one of those that's why LinkedIn has the biggest B2B ROAS of all online ad networks. Spend $250 on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a free $250 credit for the next one. Pretty good deal. Just go to LinkedIn.comconan that's LinkedIn.comconan terms and conditions apply. On the subject of specific games. I know there are specific games with specific themes.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Are there games that are thought of as. I used to work on the Simpsons, so obviously I know there was a Simpsons game. Is that game well thought of in the community?

[C]

Well, there's two. So there's the Simpsons pinball party, a much more recent release that actually, I think is generally very well liked as a game. And it's got Homer's garage. It's got a lot of fun. The monorail is there, so you're covered.

[A]

Hey, should I get money from this?

[B]

Yeah, I think you should.

[C]

I'm in.

[A]

That's one of my episodes.

[C]

Checking with your folks?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, my folks.

[B]

Why'd you have to bring them up?

[C]

Yeah, with your people.

[A]

They're dead, man.

[C]

But there is an earlier. There isn't. There is an earlier Simpsons pinball machine. So that newer one is by Stern pinball, but well regarded because it's their current manufacturer. Yeah, they're very regarded.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Was Data east, which is actually sort of a predecessor.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it. It's. It's actually. It's a very fun look. Like, the artwork is great. It's, you know, it's got a lot of the call outs of, like, the voices and whatnot. But it's in terms of the rule set, like, as a pinball game, I think it's generally disliked in a competition setting because there's a lot of people call it the big stupid ramp. Like, a lot of games have the big stupid ramp. And so if they.

[B]

Is this one where what you're about to tell us about the big stupid ramp. But does a second ball come out occasionally on that one?

[C]

I think there's a multiball. Yeah. So you hit.

[A]

That's what I was talking about.

[B]

Multi ball.

[A]

Someone rigged the game. Matt Groening rigged it like 30 years ago.

[B]

The big stupid ramp leads it right down the center of the flippers, right?

[C]

No, it usually will return it to the. It's called like a lane return. So it'll put it on your flipper. So that way you can flip it again. Yeah, Usually it's not going to put it in too much danger unless you miss it. And Then it rolls backwards down the ramp, down the center.

[B]

Dad, what about the one where it bounces and then it goes into the one that makes you lose?

[A]

No fair.

[C]

Right? Bounces and then makes. Makes you lose.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

A specific game or you're just talking about general pinball.

[A]

What's the theme of it? Is it like Sartre? What's that? What's the theme of the game?

[B]

Right before it goes to the paddles, there's one part where it bounces and then it can either go right.

[A]

There was a terminator. One that I think. Yes.

[B]

Or a finisher loose or Terminator to the left to the paddles. Derek, is there one in the Simpsons 1. Is there one where I feel like I played it and you just get so many points if you get it in the right spot, it goes like.

[C]

Yeah, well, there is. So actually, the. The nuclear power plant are the bumpers. So if you can get in the bumper, it won't be necessarily the biggest points, but, yeah, you could get lucky and just get a lot of action there and that depending on the mode you're in.

[A]

This is getting deep in the strategy. There is a whole. First of all, it's clear that everyone here was traumatized at one point by a game. But the other thing is, these are such vibrant memories for all of us because pin goes back to. I mean, goes back forever. But it's been around my entire life.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And so I. We've all had similar experiences where it comes right down the middle. It's out of the reach of both flippers, and there's nothing you can do.

[B]

Heartbreaking.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. That's worse.

[B]

There is something you can do.

[A]

Not if it's going right down the middle. You're saying tilt the table or like.

[B]

Maybe bump it with your body.

[C]

Yeah. Well, you can. You can. I mean, that.

[A]

Bump it.

[B]

Me neither.

[C]

But I mean, the one.

[A]

The one.

[C]

Okay, so the two things. I'll say one is you might tilt it, right? So in that natural penalty for. Is you lose your ball. So then it goes on to the next one. But then the other potential issue is that there's an operator who actually owns the machine, and if they see you too much, they might ask you to leave that establishment.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But I tend to do that when he's got his head towards. Near the oven. You know, he's shoveling a pie in. That's the best time to tilt.

[B]

Tilt.

[A]

Because he's dealing with that blast of flame. Yeah. Damn.

[C]

Tilt.

[A]

Freaking. What's he doing? He's feeding it in right now. Tilt. Oh, no.

[B]

He's committing suicide.

[A]

Better for me.

[C]

Tails all night.

[A]

Yeah, all right.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

You never apologize for being you. Darcy never apologized for being you. No, it was good. This is incredible. You've taught us so much about pinball. What is your favorite game of all time? Is there one themed pinball game that's like the Holy grail for you?

[C]

So I guess let me answer that in two ways. One is that I actually have a favorite game for competition play and a favorite game game that I own. And so for competition play, there's actually a very old game. It's from I think the mid-60s. It's called Royal Flesh. And it is a game where basically the main thing is there's these stand up targets. As you hit them, you make poker hands and then you collect points as you go along there for whatever reason. And it's a very simple game, but for whatever reason, it beguiles even really great players. And I feel pretty confident playing it. So it's a game where I can maximize my winning percentage on that. But then for my personal one, it's actually a very recent game that I purchased with the blessing from my wife, who's a big fan of the theme. There's a Jim Henson's Labyrinth game that was recently produced and I'm a big fan. And. Yeah, so that's it. That's.

[A]

You bring up an interesting point. Your wife, where is she in your obsession with pinball? And you're saying she let me buy this game with her blessing. Yeah, and with her blessing. But how often is she in the corner crying?

[C]

Yeah, I'm telling you, you're right. You're spot on. There was a time where we needed it so before we had children, because I have two children, five years and five months.

[B]

Weird names.

[A]

Hey, sorry for family names.

[B]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[C]

It goes way back. But no, before we had my son in 2020, we did have. We went to therapy to really have somebody sort of help us talk through, like, hey, I do a lot of things. Not only pinball, I would do some comedy. I would do video game tournaments. I just, I love. And karaoke. I'm all over the map. And she was very sweet.

[A]

You rounded out your pinball obsession with other equally horrible things.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[A]

I do D and D. You know, I'm not stuck.

[C]

There was a moment where, yeah, I think we did have to have a sit down and be like, hey, this is not sustainable.

[B]

How many nights a week?

[C]

Let's just be mindful. And I think I'm much better for it.

[B]

That's good. That's cool.

[A]

Is there the equivalent of, like, Alcoholics Anonymous for people that can't stop playing pinball? They've got twitchy thumbs and they're, like, going, bing, bing, bong, bong, bong, bong, bing, bing.

[C]

Maybe in the way. You know, there are people who have reported if they play a lot of Tetris. They have like. They like. Yeah. If you have a dream in Tetris.

[B]

Yes. I am the best Tetris player in the world.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Breaking.

[B]

My little sister's better. My little sister's better. But I'm second best in the world. And, yeah, definitely dream in Tetris. Think about Tetris. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I. But I'm able to. You know, I can.

[A]

I don't think you can. I think you have a real problem.

[B]

No, it's good. It's not a bad. It's not bad.

[A]

It's not good at all.

[B]

I really. I want to play it right now, actually. Now that we're talking about it, I'm like, I got to go.

[A]

I'm going to talk to Jason. Got to talk to your husband about this.

[C]

Just bring out your phone right now.

[A]

Did you have a question for me?

[C]

I do, actually. So I guess one quick pitch and then a question. I swear it'll be quick.

[A]

You know, it's funny. You always add things.

[C]

Yeah, I just.

[A]

It's just funny and be like, you know, do you have a que. You know, I'll say, oh, and what about this? Well, I can answer that in nine ways.

[B]

Right. Well, that's pinball for you. Right?

[A]

Playing pinball with my. With my soul.

[B]

Derek's got pinball brain.

[C]

I mean, I. I wrote a music.

[A]

I just got extra points with my one question. I get nine more.

[B]

Wait, wait, wait. You wrote a musical about pinball? I think there already is one.

[C]

Well, not that's about playing pinball. This is about living pinball.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay.

[C]

It was in a local San Francisco competition. I won the competition. It was great.

[B]

Oh, my God, dude, it was wonderful.

[C]

So, yeah, so the one pitch I have is if ever do Conan must go. But for the United States.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

I gotta say, when we talk about.

[A]

That, I just want to. And remember, with a guild. Go ahead.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. But you gotta go. Go to pinball in. In Chicago. As a lot of the manufacturers go to the factory. They have a special room where you can see all the experimental features. And I just feel like you could do a lot with going behind the go.

[A]

Have a good time. If I go, I'll bring you.

[C]

How about that?

[A]

There you go. Thank you.

[C]

I'll meet you. Have to pay the flight.

[A]

And my camera crew.

[C]

I got you. I got you. Question is. So Team Coco licenses the Team Coco brand. The Kono brand likeness for a pinball machine.

[A]

I love it.

[C]

What features are you insisting on?

[A]

Well, first of all, I would consult with you if we did this. I would definitely consult with you. And I love this idea.

[B]

That's a great idea.

[A]

And I do insist. There's so many things that we could get into the weeds on. But at some point, I would like to physically come out of the machine. I would like to be. And I would be willing. If there was only one, and we could work it out with my schedule. I would go and I would be secreted in the machine. And then when someone wins, I come out and greet them and take a selfie and then I buy them a round of drinks. That would be important to me. Now, if that can't happen, I want some kind of Conan figure to come up out of the game because I'm self obsessed. And don't you think. What do you think?

[B]

I think that. Okay, so if you can picture a pinball machine, I think it's like as if Conan is in bed and his head is right here. And then his body is here. And. And. And he's naked. No.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

No.

[B]

Darcy.

[A]

No, wait a minute. Hello, Darcy.

[B]

I just realized what I was sort of describing. But I'm like. I'm thinking of Cohen.

[C]

What?

[B]

She's like. I'm really kind of wiping it with her fingers, which made it even more colorful.

[A]

It's highly erotic. I'm enjoying this.

[B]

Horrifying, but definitely something with Derek.

[A]

I think you should leave.

[B]

No, no, but like some. Some great ramp with his hair.

[A]

Yes. Ramp with the hair is important. But so when you say I'm naked, is there parts of my body that are flipping the ball or. No.

[C]

It's like an operation.

[A]

Yeah. No. Yeah. Oh. It could go into different parts of my body.

[B]

Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

And it's me. Look, my face is kind of like. Because I have body shame.

[B]

And this is. And this is how you really get them. You could be. This is you. You could really be in this pinball machine. Just your little hand.

[C]

There you go.

[B]

Nobody had players. Naked torso. Maybe the pinball goes in your belly button.

[A]

Now we're wondering what the flippers are. We are.

[B]

And we're all wondering. No one's wondering. Sitting here wondering and we're wondering, and no one's answering the question.

[A]

Well, maybe it's my feet. They're churned inward going, and I'm kind of like my feet are going, yeah.

[C]

Or it's. It's the string dance. It's the string dance.

[A]

Oh, string dance.

[B]

Yes. That makes sense. I was thinking, like, your intellectual property, like a little masturbating bear. And if the ball goes there and.

[A]

Goes, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[B]

A little triumph, a little faster.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This is great. Oh, that's genius. I know. He's, like, quick.

[A]

Not licensed.

[B]

I really do think you could make a Derek.

[A]

I'm very interested, Adam. Let's get on this, I think, and not Team Coco G. Conan.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, go for it. I like it. I. I think this is all. This is all going into. Yeah.

[B]

All right, well, Derek, workshop the body a little bit more. I think it doesn't need to there. I don't think that needs to be.

[A]

I can show you photos and stuff, just so you know what you're dealing with. That's okay.

[B]

You're good.

[A]

No, I have. I just went to my dermatologist.

[B]

You look like you're about to vomit.

[A]

Yeah. Derek, absolute joy talking to you. I will be. We will be in touch if we can get this game to the next level. And thank you so much. This was really fun. Thank you.

[C]

Yeah, no, I really appreciate it. I feel very fortunate to have a lovely experience like this.

[A]

So.

[C]

Yeah, thank you so much. And Darcy, lovely that you could join.

[B]

Us to meet you. What about my Bay Area brother?

[A]

I love this guy.

[C]

Yes, absolutely.

[A]

You're a very lovely fellow, and I have nine reasons why. All right, take care, man. Bye. All right. Thanks, Conan. Thanks, Sona.

[C]

Thanks, Darcy. Conan o' Brien needs a fan with Conan o' Brien, Sonam of session and Matt Gourley Produced by me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow Incidental music by Jimmy Vivina. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer, Aaron Blair Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm Engineering by eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail] Conan Please rate, review and subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a fan Wherever fine podcasts are downloading.

[A]

Foreign.

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