Lizzy Caplan Returns

Summary

Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend: Episode Summary

Episode: Lizzy Caplan Returns
Release Date: March 3, 2025
Guests: Lizzy Caplan, Matt Gourley, Sona Movsesian
Host: Conan O’Brien
Platform: Team Coco & Earwolf

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Introduction

Lizzy Caplan Returns marks a heartfelt and introspective episode of Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend, where Conan engages in a deep and meaningful conversation with actress Lizzy Caplan. The episode navigates through personal grief, the complexities of modern social interactions, and the challenges of maintaining genuine relationships in a digital age.

---

Coping with Loss and Grief

The episode delves into both Conan and Lizzy sharing their experiences with the loss of their parents at a young age. Lizzy shares her traumatic experience of losing both parents within days of each other, emphasizing the profound impact it had on her emotional well-being.

• Lizzy Caplan (03:02): "My mom died when I was 13, so I feel as you do, but it's very fresh for you."

Conan reflects on his own grief, discussing how societal expectations and personal perceptions shape the way one processes loss.

• Conan O’Brien (03:35): "Constant expectations of greatness... Wherever I go, I'm burdened by middling expectations."

The conversation highlights the therapeutic role of children in healing, with both acknowledging how their kids act as anchors during their darkest times.

• Lizzy Caplan (40:13): "They’re like little Prozac’s."

---

Misophonia and Personal Quirks

A lighter yet revealing segment addresses Conan's struggle with misophonia, particularly triggered by chewing noises.

• Conan O’Brien (05:59): "This is my way of talking to him now is through the podcast."

This discussion not only provides comedic relief but also sheds light on how personal quirks can affect interpersonal relationships.

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The Impact of Social Media

Both Conan and Lizzy express their disdain for social media, critiquing its role in fostering superficial connections and exacerbating feelings of isolation.

• Lizzy Caplan (32:11): "I just fought it and really was like, this whole social media thing's really gonna blow over this Internet."

Conan echoes these sentiments, emphasizing the importance of genuine human interactions over digital façades.

• Conan O’Brien (34:28): "You have social media, the mirror."

---

Professional Insights: Lizzy Caplan on 'Zero Day'

Lizzy provides an insider’s view of her work on the Netflix series Zero Day, praising the collaborative and supportive environment on set.

• Lizzy Caplan (55:07): "The vibes were so good. It just felt like a job that felt important, but at the same time. It felt very grown up."

Conan commends Lizzy's dedication and work ethic, linking it to the positive outcomes of her creative endeavors.

• Conan O’Brien (58:56): "You have such... I don't see how anything you're doing is enhanced by... you're one of my all-time favorite people."

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Community and Empathy in Changing Times

The conversation shifts to the evolving sense of community, contrasting the closeness experienced during crises like 9/11 with the current fragmented social landscape.

• Conan O’Brien (46:37): "Humanity just has this way of... saying, this too shall pass."

Lizzy adds her perspective on the lack of community support in Los Angeles compared to New York, highlighting the challenges of maintaining empathy in a fast-paced world.

• Lizzy Caplan (43:19): "I really don't know. I see it. I'm staying with some friends now. I've known their daughter her whole life."

---

Reflections on Nostalgic Advertising

In a nostalgic twist, Conan and Matt Gourley reminisce about childhood advertising schemes from the 1970s, such as comic book promotions offering "Polaris nuclear submarines" and hovercrafts built from vacuum cleaners.

• Conan O’Brien (62:27): "I put these on and you can see through her dress."

This segment serves as both comedic fodder and a reflection on how marketing strategies have evolved (or failed to) over the decades.

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Closing Thoughts and Final Remarks

As the episode winds down, both Conan and Lizzy express a sense of closure and mutual understanding, reinforcing the show's core mission of fostering genuine friendships through candid conversations.

• Conan O’Brien (58:56): "You have dysmorphia... But that kid seemed pretty happy."

• Lizzy Caplan (59:49): "Come on. Why isn't that gonna be... Watch Zero Day."

The episode concludes with a reaffirmation of the importance of authentic connections and empathy in overcoming personal and societal challenges.

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Notable Quotes and Timestamps

• Conan O’Brien (03:35): "Constant expectations of greatness."
• Lizzy Caplan (32:11): "This whole social media thing's really gonna blow over this Internet."
• Conan O’Brien (34:28): "You have social media, the mirror."
• Lizzy Caplan (43:19): "I'm staying with some friends now. I've known their daughter her whole life."
• Conan O’Brien (62:27): "I put these on and you can see through her dress."
• Lizzy Caplan (59:49): "Come on. Why isn't that gonna be... Watch Zero Day."

---

Conclusion

Lizzy Caplan Returns is a poignant episode that balances humor with deep emotional discussions. Conan O’Brien and Lizzy Caplan explore personal grief, the shortcomings of modern social structures, and the enduring value of genuine human connections. Through their candid dialogue, listeners are invited to reflect on their own lives, relationships, and the societal shifts that impact them.

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Note: This summary intentionally omits advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections to focus solely on the meaningful discussions and insights shared during the episode.

Transcript

[Conan O'Brien]

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[Sona Movsesian]

It's a lot of words.

[Conan O'Brien]

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[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, I get. I know what you're talking about.

[Conan O'Brien]

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[Sona Movsesian]

I don't want anybody else taking attention away from my taxes.

[Conan O'Brien]

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[Lizzy Kaplan]

Hi, my name is Lizzy Kaplan and I feel.

[Matt Gourley]

Meh.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I've had better about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Matt Gourley]

Fall is here Hear the yell.

[Conan O'Brien]

Back to school Ring the bell Brand new shoes Walking loose Climb the fence Books and pens I can tell that.

[Matt Gourley]

We are gonna be friends.

[Conan O'Brien]

I can.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Tell that we are gonna be friends.

[Sona Movsesian]

Hey there.

[Conan O'Brien]

Conan O'Brien here. Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Put a little pause there, Adam west style. To add a little drama, it was very. Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend. Joined by Sonam Obsession.

[Sona Movsesian]

Hello.

[Conan O'Brien]

And of course, Matt Gourley. Hello. And guess what? This is a different little take on things. I got some gum in my mouth right now.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, I hate that stuff.

[Conan O'Brien]

God, don't come. I know people don't like that. All right, I'm gonna take it out. But anyway, I just thought it kind of made me look like a guy. That doesn't. I don't know. I don't care that much about my work. I just do it. I'm just kind of an artist, you know.

[Sona Movsesian]

You just. You forgot it in there.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I forgot it was in there.

[Matt Gourley]

And chewing gum implies all of that to you? That you don't care about your work, you're an artist just cause you eat chewing gum?

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know. I didn't put much thought into it. And then you asked for an explanation and the whole thing fell apart like wet cardboard. The gum is out of my mouth. For those of you. What is it called when you hate the chomping?

[Matt Gourley]

Misophonia.

[Conan O'Brien]

Misophonia.

[Matt Gourley]

I think I have it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I've got misohonia. Oh, man. Sorry.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh God. I need to go.

[Conan O'Brien]

I just wanted him to walk right into it.

[Sona Movsesian]

I want to not be here anymore.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I. I've been around people that have it and you can't do anything. You can't have soup, you can't have peanut brittle around people that have misophonia.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

What's the matter?

[Matt Gourley]

What are you looking at me for?

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm just saying it's. It's terrible.

[Matt Gourley]

You're not a victim. Let's put it that way.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think I'm a victim in some ways.

[Matt Gourley]

How so?

[Conan O'Brien]

Constant expectations of greatness.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, I don't think anybody does. Expects that from you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wherever I go, I'm burdened by middling expectations. I. No, it's terrible for people that have that. And it's tough to be around. I know.

[Sona Movsesian]

What do you mean? Like it's tough for you to be around someone who has that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. My daughter was constantly saying. I hate the way that it sounds when you consume the food that keeps you alive.

[Sona Movsesian]

I mean, in her defense. But in her defense, what are you going to. You eat like an animal. Okay, let's get into this nice way. But you eat the way you eat.

[Conan O'Brien]

Describe it. Okay, you've got the floor.

[Sona Movsesian]

First of all, you're angry whenever you're eating. I don't know why. I don't know if you enjoy the food. And then you inhale it as if all of your siblings are just looming over you. They were, but nobody is anymore.

[Conan O'Brien]

I know, but it's the phantom leg syndrome. I'll tell you why I'm angry when I eat. Because I know that the food is sustaining my life, which is causing me pain.

[Sona Movsesian]

But why can't it make you happy food?

[Matt Gourley]

Mad at the food? Cuz it's keeping the food.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because it's keeping me alive.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

So.

[Conan O'Brien]

So that all this continues oh my God. Pretty dark, huh?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I will admit that I eat quickly and I do. I'm getting better. I'm trying to chew the food and be thoughtful. He said lying.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay, I figured. Cause I saw you eat not that long ago and it's the same.

[Conan O'Brien]

Really?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I didn't get any better.

[Sona Movsesian]

Nah, it's okay. It's okay to just be.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, Danny, your brother, does he eat quickly or. No, he eats with the calm assurance that he was the oldest, he only had one sister, and no one was gonna take his.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, actually, your father was in the.

[Conan O'Brien]

Corner brushing his mustache. He wasn't going to take it.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay, come on. Why is he go back to Gill and his mustache.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's a good looking mustache. There's no way that it just looks that way. He's combing it constantly.

[Sona Movsesian]

He's not combing his mustache constantly.

[Conan O'Brien]

Frisk him. I bet he has a tiny little comb.

[Sona Movsesian]

I'm not going to frisk my dad.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I'm going to have the police frisk Gil at the airport the next time he goes through. And I bet whenever, I bet whenever he walks through the machine, he goes. And they, I mean, okay, no, it's a metal comb. It goes what kind of bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. Yeah, it's metal. And they take it out and it's this tiny little mustache comb. And then he has to explain to them that's why his mustache looks so good. This riff's waste of everyone's time. Gil, my apologies. I love you. You're a good man.

[Sona Movsesian]

You're apologizing.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I said it quickly.

[Sona Movsesian]

I know.

[Conan O'Brien]

Let's not draw attention to it.

[Sona Movsesian]

Look, I'm on Nev's side.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, I, I think that I've. And she's made me very conscious of the way I, I, I eat. So she helped me.

[Matt Gourley]

The difference between inhaling food and. Are you doing the kind of open mouth. That's the thing that I have a misophonia for. I can't stand when an open mouth chewer.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't think I'm an open mouth chewer.

[Matt Gourley]

I think someone very close in my life is an open mouth chewer.

[Conan O'Brien]

You talking about Jeff Ross? Jeff Ross is a chomp, chomp, smack, smack man. And I think we can all agree on that.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, he's chomp, chomp, smack, smack man.

[Conan O'Brien]

Don't be talking to me and be like, yeah, so anyway, and I'm like, what are you eating? And sometimes it's something that doesn't even need chewing. Like A melting. What do you have there, Jeff? A melted popsicle. What are you chewing for? It's two days old. It was in the back of my car in the sun. So it's liquid. That's right. Anyway, I think we're going out the east coast. We'll be there for the SNL thing. There's nothing in your mouth right now. Yeah, he's an open mouth chewer, but he'll hear this. Does he listen to the podcast? I don't think he does. Yeah, here and there. But this is my way of talking to him now is through the podcast.

[Matt Gourley]

Podcastively, aggressively.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what? This is a great. I'm very passive aggressive, and this is a great way to talk to people who I know and love in my life and tell them how I really feel.

[Matt Gourley]

That's not bad. I'm going to talk to the person who does the lip smacking.

[Conan O'Brien]

Who is it?

[Matt Gourley]

I can't say.

[Conan O'Brien]

Why? Who?

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, wait, we're on camera.

[Conan O'Brien]

Who say, oh. Why are you doing all this miming on camera?

[Matt Gourley]

Anyone can look up.

[Sona Movsesian]

You edit it. You can easily edit.

[Matt Gourley]

I don't edit the video.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wait, you haven't told her? You haven't told.

[Matt Gourley]

I have told her, but it's gotten to the point where I can't say it anymore.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, then this is the perfect way. Does she listen to the podcast?

[Matt Gourley]

Wait, I'm not even saying this is a she.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I mean, you could have married anyone. It's legal. He's bounding down, rolling out. We gonna say what they say? It can't be done.

[Matt Gourley]

More than life itself.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yep.

[Matt Gourley]

And this is but a. And. And I have faults, too. And so. And probably greater faults. I'm sure I have greater faults. Yeah, it's. It's been discussed and it's been noted and it's been put into the record, and there's nothing more I can do about it.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God. How about the two of you? You and this person that Matt's talking about?

[Conan O'Brien]

Eat.

[Sona Movsesian]

You have a time minimum to eat a meal. And this person.

[Conan O'Brien]

What are we talking about?

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I don't say.

[Conan O'Brien]

We could put a decibel. I don't know. I lost it as I. Eduardo speaks. Sona.

[Eduardo Perez]

Eduardo talks.

[Conan O'Brien]

Good. Sona.

[Sona Movsesian]

I lost it as I.

[Eduardo Perez]

So you think you could put like a decibel meter on that person to make sure they don't pass a certain volume, maybe?

[Sona Movsesian]

There you go. We'll fix this.

[Conan O'Brien]

But that's the problem.

[Matt Gourley]

It's not the level of volume. It's almost worse that it's slightly quiet because then you start, like I start straining to hear it. It's. It's much my fault.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's a dynamic.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I think it's fair to say that in all relationships, especially the one you're talking about, which is a marriage.

[Matt Gourley]

No, no. This is my clergyman.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Yes, that's right. Pastor Samuelson.

[Sona Movsesian]

Eat a lot of meals this time.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. They always get together for beans.

[Matt Gourley]

Yes. I take my biggest bowl of beans. My clergyman.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

Out in the cloister.

[Conan O'Brien]

You have oysters in the cloister?

[Matt Gourley]

Me so horny.

[Conan O'Brien]

Listen, you got to admit, that was the natural. It was a home. Lights exploded. Eduardo watched me trot in slow motion around the field with Robert Redford's body.

[Sona Movsesian]

Can we please just actually give you a sandwich and say you can't finish this in less than 10?

[Conan O'Brien]

That would be hard minutes. That would be difficult.

[Matt Gourley]

I have the same issue.

[Conan O'Brien]

I. I eat quickly, as do most people that grew up in a prison or penitentiary.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay, you know what?

[Conan O'Brien]

I put my arms around my food to protect it from my brother Neil. Yeah. Who used one of those supermarket grabbers to reach over and get my food. He was ingenious.

[Matt Gourley]

I didn't have the suppress oppressive sibling thing. I think for me it was just, let's get this over with so I can do fun things and live life. Food wasn't that exciting.

[Sona Movsesian]

Watch Star wars again.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. To live life. You happen to be right. Yeah. Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

So I can organize my figurine, but take it easy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Buffet goes in front.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, I don't see a problem with this.

[Conan O'Brien]

Mandalorian goes second.

[Matt Gourley]

You're making my point for me.

[Conan O'Brien]

R2D2.

[Sona Movsesian]

Third.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well said, Sab. Art. ROP beep goes forth.

[Matt Gourley]

That one's not real.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's cool. Could be. There's a new installment.

[Matt Gourley]

So you guys understand.

[Conan O'Brien]

Disney keeps cranking them out because they can't stop. They don't have other content.

[Matt Gourley]

I got a lot of editing to do on this. This one.

[Conan O'Brien]

Czar Darth Big Snacks goes fifth. He's from the planet. Orc snacks.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Max.

[Matt Gourley]

Okay, look.

[Conan O'Brien]

Stacks.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yup.

[Matt Gourley]

Now you're getting personal.

[Conan O'Brien]

All right, well, anyway. Yes. Live life to its. You are Zorba the Greek man. Just living life to its fullest. This small thimble full of iced tea, decaffeinated, and then off to organize my figurines.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, you're one to talk ass.

[Conan O'Brien]

Gareth billmore. Jasmine Roosevelt.

[Matt Gourley]

14 volumes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Gotta be read by new knowledge of history.

[Sona Movsesian]

Nerd off.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, please. I think when I read history, I'm educating myself about the history of our nation, maybe with an eye towards how we should move forward. What you're doing is living in a fantasy world of Gax Bixnor, Chaz Bilney, Rax, Hacksle, Dax, Zorath, Bit three, and that's one character.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

All right, my guess today.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, God.

[Conan O'Brien]

There's no transitions in this universe. They were done away by the Empire. Destroy all transitions.

[Matt Gourley]

Excuse me.

[Conan O'Brien]

Excuse me. That was a guy.

[Matt Gourley]

Who's that? Darth Vader.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, there's someone with emphysema.

[Matt Gourley]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Conan O'Brien]

My guest today. How do we know Darth Vader didn't have emphysema and there was no device assisting him? My guest today has it. My guest today is a. I have.

[Matt Gourley]

I have. I have.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, no.

[Matt Gourley]

I have some thinking.

[Conan O'Brien]

My guest today. My guest today. Yes, indeed.

[Matt Gourley]

I need to go home and reconsider.

[Conan O'Brien]

You need to go look in the mirror for a long time, buddy boy.

[Matt Gourley]

I can't believe you're telling me. And I'm taking it from you. I take it from you. No, not. No, no, not. Guess yet. I got it.

[Conan O'Brien]

I got it.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

No.

[Matt Gourley]

You of all people, and you yourself are always admitting you're just projecting. Yeah, why don't you go? Screw you. Dick wish.

[Sona Movsesian]

Dick wish.

[Conan O'Brien]

This is what you held up our guest for? I hope you're proud of yourself. You sure showed me. I don't know how I'm going to recover from that lethal blow. My guest today.

[Matt Gourley]

All right, I'll allow it.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what? This is. I love this person. What's happening, son? Are you okay?

[Sona Movsesian]

I'm dying.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm dying.

[Sona Movsesian]

I am actually dying.

[Conan O'Brien]

My guest today, of course, she's a very talented actress. You know her from such films, TV shows as Mean Girls, Party Down. I just. She's one of my favorite people. You know that. I love her, too. Yeah, you can see her in the Netflix series Zero Day. She's so crazily talented. I also happen to know that she's an amazing person in every way you would want someone to be. An amazing person. I'm excited. I'm thrilled she's here today. Lizzy Kaplan, welcome. Well, as you're well aware, I've got a bad case with Lizzy Caplan. She's one of my favorite people of all time. Your work, and also just you as a person. I'm just gonna start off saying it. We've hung out a little bit on the side, and I just always leave thinking, jesus Christ. That Lizzy Kaplan is If there's anyone cooler than this woman, I have not. I have not met her. And.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Damn.

[Conan O'Brien]

Damn. Seriously. Seriously, I absolutely adore you. Thanks, Conan. I know you're going through some stuff right now, and I know your. Your father just passed, which is bizarre because I just went through this with my parents at the. In December. Both of them went at the same time, like it was a suicide pact, which it was not, but it just sounded suspicious in the press. Like, my dad went, and then my mom went two days later. And it just sounds like, okay, this is a murder, you know? But it wasn't pillows. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. But no. So we were chatting a little bit out in the hall, and I said, we don't need to talk about this, but it might be good to talk about, because I just went through it. I'm. It's so fresh in my mind, the different weird feelings that you feel. So if it helps you at all, we can talk about it, and then I'll charge you $350.

[Sona Movsesian]

Cool.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Great.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because that's the going.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

There's a bargain at this point. Yeah. So I, like, pop my Prozac right before I did recognize that pill.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Big fan, by the way.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, man, Keep. Hey, keep that Prozac coming. You guys are doing amazing work.

[Matt Gourley]

You order a bowl of it here yesterday.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Coca Cola is the original.

[Conan O'Brien]

Interestingly, I don't know if you remember this, but I met your dad.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I do remember.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I had a very long chat with your father. It was at a party, I believe, here in Los Angeles. And you came in afterwards and said, what were you. Just what were you doing? And I said, oh, me and your dad were just talking. And we talked for a really long time. And you looked aghast, like, oh, my God, what did he do? What did my father say? But I remember him very fondly.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

That's really nice. Thanks, Conan. Yeah, he was a very funny man. Very strange man. It's wild. It's wild, the whole thing. And I actually kind of wish I brought him around to more parties and more things. Cause people had good experiences with him. But, yeah, it's weird. My mom died when I was 13, so I feel as you do, but it's very fresh for you. Like, you feel like an orphan, even though you're old and not you. You're very young.

[Conan O'Brien]

Speaking myself, I know what you're saying. Cause Sona came when my par. Sona and a couple of the other people, not you, Eduardo, came out. Cause he had better things to do. No, Right. There was A big game that night? No, it was in Boston and I didn't expect anyone to come. And so some of the people who I work with flew to Boston to be there, which was very nice. It was so funny. Cause I just wanted to make Sona laugh. And so Sona came up to me at some point and I remember I was just going like, I'm an orphan. Yeah, but playing it up for sympathy when I'm a 61 year old white guy.

[Sona Movsesian]

A lot of little Orphan Annie gifts.

[Conan O'Brien]

In the text messages, but it's just absurd. I kept saying, like, I don't know where I'm gonna sleep tonight. Yeah, you're gonna sleep at the Four Seasons Hotel, you fucker. You know, I did feel the same kind of thing, which was just, oh, I guess I'm an orphan, but I don't get to walk around with a big 1920s cap. Well, see, this is why I love Lizzie. She's giving me permission.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Don't limit yourself.

[Matt Gourley]

You two of you should hop a boxcar. We should.

[Conan O'Brien]

We should walk along together. Two scruffy orphans.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Two scruffy orphans in the four season sequester.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wait a minute. That looks like Lizzy Kaplan and Conan O'Brien. And there's an SUV following them like 15ft behind in case they need anything. So anyway.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

But yes, I do. I mean, I, I don't. I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around your version of it, which is like the one, two punch. But I do think there's something. Which you will never know, but there's something really kind about it happening that way that you didn't have to have like the five years of looking after your mom without your dad. And that would have been brutal. That's a good chapter that nobody really needs. But yeah, I just kept thinking like, so my mom died. It was awful.

[Conan O'Brien]

And also you were 13.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I was 13, which is crazy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Everyone thinks, oh, it'd be the worst if you were two or three. And I've read some about this and it's no if you're. It's. Apparently the worst time is if you're a teenager. That's when it can impact you the most.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Can confirm it was horrible. And then like every funeral after that never felt as bad. You know, like a grandparent would die or it just never. It never hit as hard, obviously. And then my dad, I just assumed he was 80. He was not. Well, it wasn't that surprising, even though it kind of was in the, in the moment. But I was so, so, so fucked up. Over it, obviously. But I realized, like, it doesn't even matter if you're 13, if you're. It's your parent. Your parents loom so large, whatever your relationship is. And we had a good relationship. But even if you're not speaking to your parent, if they died, like, that's gonna. You're like, it's coming for you, Conan. Yes. It's gonna get you bad. Probably.

[Conan O'Brien]

After the Oscars, I don't feel things. I think we have to get through the Soul Train Awards. And then we had Werner, the Great. Werner Herzog was here. He's helping us out with something in a really lovely way. But he was here, and he's always been very nice to me. And he said he had heard the news. And he said, conan, you only have. And he said in that Werner Herzog voice. One mother and one father. I don't know why that's coming out Irish. What the fuck happened? How did he do it? Someone help me out here. I gotta access him.

[Matt Gourley]

One mother and one father.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

That's pretty good.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's it.

[Conan O'Brien]

There you go. Thank you. I don't know why I went to the leprechaun.

[Matt Gourley]

One mother and don't fuck it up.

[Conan O'Brien]

But you still got Lucky Charms. No. He's like, you have one mother, one father. And I just was. I was like, this is not helping.

[Matt Gourley]

I suppose you're coming from him.

[Conan O'Brien]

Coming from him. And he said, and there is no afterlife. They've descended into a void of meaningless madness and chaos. Thanks, Werner.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Can I say something very quickly? He was here, and obviously we all love him, and Matty always sets out a basket of snacks and stuff. And so he was standing talking to you and some other people. And before he left, he's like, and now it is time for me to leave.

[Conan O'Brien]

But first, a little treat. And he went over and grabbed, like.

[Unnamed Speaker]

A little thing and took it with him. It was amazing.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

He narrates his regular life like that.

[Conan O'Brien]

A little treat. And then I will descend again into chaos and madness. Anyway. Yeah, it is. You're still going through it. And then what's strange is the expectation other people have for you, which is you just. You feel what you feel. And I'm. I don't know if it's an Irish quality or what, but I just sort of get through things. And so I've had people that have said, you just must be devastated. And I think. I don't know. I don't know what I'm feeling. I know that I've. And then I noticed that I Had put my watch on upside down and backwards. You're trying to reverse time. Yeah, exactly. I don't know what I was doing, but like my belt was on wrong. I was telling everyone, oh, no, no. These things. Well, they lived a long life and I think they enjoyed themselves and all was well and they went peacefully and quietly. And people would say, you just put your pants on over your head and poured gravy into the bathtub. What are you doing?

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yeah, I don't know. I don't. I. I guess it's like. It's impossible for me not to just be making constant comparisons to when my mom passed away and I had no skills, no tools. No. I mean, I had support, but like 13 year old friends support, which is not amazing for that situation. Like, as hard as they all tried, I just, it was. There were so many years of it just being so, so, so hard. And now I realize, like, oh, I do actually have support and a therapist and Pronzac and, you know, like a great, like, I will be okay. I ended up being okay the last time against the odds. Because that was crazy, right? I just, like, I definitely am processing it in a much healthier way. I'm letting myself be sad. But that's not. That was not easy for me to do as a kid. As a kid, it was just like, exactly what you're saying, like keeping it moving. Armor, Armor, armor. And now it's better. It's better for it to happen now and in this way. But like, it's fucking crazy. It's just crazy. I'm so. I guess I'm just so sad about it. Which feels healthy. I'll take that over angry and confused.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right?

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right. That's a gift to be able to feel sad.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yeah. Let me tell you. You should try it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Please. There's no time now. Mattress firm.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Oh, no.

[Conan O'Brien]

Don't be the villain in your. Oh, sorry. Look at that.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you. I even remember the tagline from that. Stupid, not stupid. Terrific mattress. There's this great new thing I've heard about where you take a trip. You go someplace. Okay. And you airbnb your apartment, your house, your pad while you're gone.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And that way you make some money, or as I call it, some scratch and you just have people staying at your house and it's cool. Blay, have you done this? Yeah.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And you know what's interesting is my sister recently moved back to Michigan, so I've been traveling there a lot. And so with airbnb, I can host people at My apartment while I'm gone back in Michigan and make a little extra, as you say, scratch.

[Conan O'Brien]

I mean, it completely makes sense. Why should your apartment or your home sit empty?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Exactly.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now, do you have to spruce it up a little bit? Make it nice? Well, your place is pretty nice anyway.

[Unnamed Speaker]

It's pretty nice, but I do have a lot of comic books and a lot of, you know, like horror movie paraphernalia. So, you know, it's a bit batcaveish in terms of.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, well, your fully developed as a human being. So I just think what you want to do is put all that stuff in a cabinet place so they think they're getting an Airbnb from a fully developed adult. You know what I mean?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Although I don't think it's all gonna fit in one cabinet, but I can certainly just try.

[Conan O'Brien]

Whatever. I know your plans.

[Unnamed Speaker]

It's a nice place. I will host you. It's a nice place.

[Sona Movsesian]

You have a dinosaur egg.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I have a real brontosaurus egg.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's true. And seven life sized iron men. Welcome to Blaze apartment.

[Unnamed Speaker]

The mark three. The mark six.

[Conan O'Brien]

The mark. Yeah. Just don't leave money on the table. This year when you travel, make sure that you look into Airbnb and be an Airbnb host.

[Unnamed Speaker]

That's right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Your home could be worth more than you think. Find out how [e-mail] host we drink so much water every day and it's just water. And I'm like, hello, boring. There's gotta be a way to make water more exciting. Well, guess what? Someone cracked it. With authentic flavors and lively carbonation. Waterloo sparkling waters bring full flavor. Artistry. Blay, you're drinking one right now.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Drinking one right now. I got the raspberry nectarine and it is tasty.

[Conan O'Brien]

Very good. Very tasty. Everyone here in the office has been enjoying them. They're excellent. They are delicious. And you know, you say what's flavor artistry. Some people think. Are you just talking a lot of high class nonsense, Conan? No, it's about custom crafting multisensorial flavor experiences of aroma, taste and mouthfeel that make you say wow wow to that sentence. Waterloo waters are crafted, not formulated or off the shelf. Just purified sparkling water and non GMO project verified natural flavors, which I insist on.

[Sona Movsesian]

Me too.

[Conan O'Brien]

With zero calories, sugars or sweeteners. I drink water constantly. I just had a couple of glasses of water and it was just regular water upstairs. And I regret that time.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

It was boring.

[Sona Movsesian]

You'll never get that back.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'll never get that time back. Three full glasses of water. I wish it was Waterloo and I could have had. What did you have? Raspberry. You know what, what's that one cracking.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Open a peach right now.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Well you should. You could have offered that to me. You just ate a second when I haven't had one. Oh, sorry. Nice. Thanks a lot. I'm so thirsty. Were you working tomorrow? Give Waterloo sparkling water a try. Look for Waterloo sparkling water next time you shop. Learn more about the flavors from Waterloo sparkling [e-mail] the all new Nissan Armada Pro 4X is an unshakable fortress. Powered by a twin turbo V6 engine, ready to propel your adventures to new heights.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, your voice changes when you do a car.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm trying to. I'm trying to become Will Arnett.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

But I can't do it. He's like the all new Nissan Armada Pro 4X. No, listen, I'm going to explain this car to you because this car is fantastic. Its max 8,500 pound towing capacity has the power to haul all your favorite toys. On your next big adventure, you could steal the Statue of Liberty with this. It's incredible. I'm not saying do that. I'm just saying this thing, that's a lot of hauling power. Nobody gets left behind with the Armada Pro 4X's premium interior that seats up to eight passengers.

[Sona Movsesian]

That's crazy.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know. Eight people going big never goes out of style. No terrain is too tough for the all new Nissan Armada Pro 4X. The most capable Armada ever built. Built for the most rugged of terrain. The all new Nissan Armada Pro 4X gives you freedom to explore further. Lizzy, you've described yourself as, and I can see it, that you were a tough kid. Was that before your mom passed? Is that your nature? Or is it because your mom passed at such an early age that you were a tough kid? And how were you a tough kid?

[Lizzy Kaplan]

It may have been in there somewhere but. No, it was after my mom thing. I look at 13 year old kids now and they look like tiny babies. I just remember my dad sent me to a therapist once. It was a group therapist and it was a bunch of other kids who had lost a parent and you had to, you had to like hold a talking stick to talk about the. And I went to it once and I was like this is bullshit. I hate it. I'm fine. And I guess convinced them, my dad and who? My aunts or whatever, like I don't need to do this. I'M okay. And they believed me. And then they, like, never sent me back to anything like that or worried about me again. I don't know how anybody was like, convinced by a 13 year old saying that she's fine when this happens, but I think nobody else was fine in my family. So everybody was just kind of picking up the pieces.

[Conan O'Brien]

So you were not a great target for, say, bullies? Like, you would have chewed them up and spit them out. Or were you the bully?

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I mean, I don't think I was the bully. Is that what bullies say?

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, we actually have some friends here. Yeah, come on in, guys.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Stephanie from second. No, I. I wasn't a bully. I've had the same friends since then, since before then. And they're still my close friends.

[Conan O'Brien]

I always think that's a great sign.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

And my dad was like that, too, and my mom. That was a big thing in our family without it being, like, a lesson that was explicitly taught, like, you just keep your friends. But, yeah, nobody, like, fucked with me. I guess I was tough. I was angry, but I thought that was a toughness thing. And I tried to be funny, and it was just like this. Oh, I remember when I was 13, like, the height of humor was the retort, your mom. So I just remember, like, say something and somebody would say, your mom. And just like, immediately the look on their face like, oh, God. I said, oh, God. And so I would just go to, like, trying to make everybody else feel less uncomfortable. And I lived in that way of being for a really long time. And now I don't care if people are uncomfortable, which feels like a win. But I didn't have that as a kid at all.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, that's a great superpower to care less about what other people think.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yeah, it's like, that's just like age.

[Conan O'Brien]

Honestly, I think age helps. And I know you and I are similar in this way. I have a social media presence, but I am not on social media, meaning, you know, through Team Coco and all of our different subsidiary enterprises, we will post things, and if something's gonna go out under my name, I will craft it or approve it. But the last thing I would ever do in the world is type my name into the web and see what people are thinking or just live in that world, because I think it is pure madness. I think. And as our friend Werner would say, chaos. Chaos and darkness and dark. Yeah, it's so damaging.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

It's horrible. And I'm sure that it's, like, been an impediment to professional things. For me, but I don't care.

[Conan O'Brien]

Why? Why would you say that?

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I mean.

[Conan O'Brien]

Cause you think you're supposed to, like, be every day saying, this is the chia seed pudding that Lizzie had today.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I can't do it. It's.

[Conan O'Brien]

So you're going to do it? We brought out some chia seed pudding and we're gonna Instagram it right now.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I don't know how to do it. I feel like a dinosaur for not doing it. I was like, right on the cusp. Now, anybody younger than me, I think it's mandatory. They tried to tell me it was mandatory to be on this stuff, and I just fought it and really was like, this whole social media thing's really gonna blow over this Internet. I don't think it's gonna stick around. And now I do sometimes think, like, oh, I probably should be playing that game a little bit more, but I just can't do it. I hate it. It's embarrassing. The amount of times you have to, like, divorce your feelings about your friend who you know and love in person, and then their social media Persona. Then some people, like, I just can't. I, like, can't reconcile those two things anymore. And I. It's like an illness. It's weird. The narcissism, it's made everything fucking worse. Like, let's be real. It's made everything worse. I'm hoping. Cause our kids are the same age, I think.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah. Like around three and a half.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yes. Yeah. I think I'm praying that it, like, isn't as omnipresent for that. But I don't know. I don't. I really don't know. I see it. I'm staying with some friends now. I've known their daughter her whole life. She's amazing. She's 13. She goes to private school in Los Angeles. And it's like, it is a fight to not give this girl a phone and access to.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, that's a big question, is when they get the phone. It was a big question for us. Yeah.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Cause your kids are the age. Like, this is like the beta testing generation on this stuff. And now we see, like, oh, it's. But as a parent, like, I get why it's difficult. I get why you don't want to be the one being like, hey, you're gonna be the one kid who doesn't have this. And that's gonna make you weird and an outsider and. But it's so bad. It's so bad.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then there are questions the other way, which is it can be A safety thing at a certain age that if they have a phone, they can call you. And so it was a big debate. We wrestled with it a lot about what age we had the phones implanted in utero.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, boy.

[Conan O'Brien]

So when my daughter was born, she came out with 700 likes.

[Sona Movsesian]

Wow, that's really great.

[Conan O'Brien]

Strong presence. No, I remember us getting in. We did pretty well. Liza would know the exact age because I was probably looking in a mirror and thinking about my career when this decision was finally made.

[Matt Gourley]

It's your social media, the mirror.

[Conan O'Brien]

My social media is the mirror. Look at that jawline. If only those eyes were a little bigger and they popped on screen. Conan, I need help with the children. Quiet. That I vein has held me back.

[Sona Movsesian]

Trolling yourself.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sona Movsesian]

You're your biggest troll.

[Conan O'Brien]

You suck. It doesn't add up to me that you would feel you needed to do anything like that. Oh, I need to increase my social media presence or I have to do this or do that. Because you're so talented and. Well, no, but I'm saying. I'm serious. You're so. You have really. No, I'm serious. You have such. I don't see how. Do you guys see what I'm saying? I don't see how anything you're doing is enhanced by. And this is how I make a Cobb salad.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I don't think I fundamentally agree with that. And I guess that's kind of like the main takeaway is people aren't paying attention to you that much. So anybody. People are paying attention to you all the time, Conor.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, I am. You know, I looked into it. I am the exception to that rule.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yeah. Yeah, you are.

[Conan O'Brien]

When people say no one's thinking about you except you, it's because they're thinking.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

But no, no, I. Yeah, they're not. And so, like, they think. You know, I look at some of my friends who are and. Or myself, and I think, like, oh, I should be. I wish I did this job or did, like, two more jobs during this period of time. And the reality is, like, people assume you're working. They assume you're busy. Nobody needs to know about, like, those fallow periods. And the reason why people are even thinking about it is because you feel the need to just, like, chime in with your opinions every single day or, like, what set you're on every single day. I just don't. Yep, it's a real disconnect for me. Like, why do we all have to, like, log our fucking opinions about everything all the time? Like, it's our job. And you see, you know, like, on message boards or whatever. Sometimes I'll look at the. At the Daily Mail. Oh, God, the Daily Mail is so bleak. The comments, like, it doesn't even matter. You know exactly what people are gonna say. Like, they're gonna judge this person on her. Her appearance or her decision or something she did 10 years ago. And it's. It's like these people think that it's now part of. It's their job now to sit down and, like, do their part of this equation, which is, like, log in their opinion about what a piece of shit this person is. And I just think, like, who are these people? I know we always think, like, okay, they're in their mother's basements or whatever, but they're probably not. They're probably, like, living out in the world. And yet they take time out of every day to, like, sit down and let you know how they feel about Britney Spears is dancing. Like, who? What? Why are you weighing in on this? And, I mean, I actually. I realize I'm sort of, like, talking in circles right now. I feel like I have fairly insightful things to say about this. Not today. But I do think, like, how can you not connect these dots that, like, the lack of community, like, people's quality of life just being shittier. Everybody's isolated. People are fully okay living in this kind of, like, alternate reality where it's your opinions, and the more fiery your opinions are, the more people.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. The more clicks.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

But, like, it's just create. Look at where we are. The world is like, look at where we are. It's Trump.

[Matt Gourley]

What the fuck?

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Like, does Trump exist without any of this stuff? Like, I don't. I don't think so. And beyond that, we're just. People are sad, kids are sad, everybody feels isolated. And there's no. I think we're in a weird position too, because, yes, it is fully incorporated into our lives. We're. We're young enough that, like, we had phones from a young enough age that it's, like, woven into the fabric of our beings. But we had childhoods that weren't.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yep.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

And now they don't have that. I don't know what that looks like in the future other than more like really lazy Gen Z people who don't know what a good. A hard day's work looks like, which I find myself saying all the time.

[Conan O'Brien]

You just sprouted a bonnet.

[Sona Movsesian]

I know.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I am like, so Tom, my husband, really makes fun of me a lot because I am like a dinosaur about this. And look, I get left behind in this scenario. Like, I don't think the Internet's gonna stop because it's making us sad.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I always go back to. You just have to. You know, I don't know if I'm quoting Jersey Shore here, but you do. You. Is that. I'm sorry.

[Matt Gourley]

No, that's Werner Herzog as well.

[Conan O'Brien]

This is different. You do you. In the chaos of the eternal void.

[Sona Movsesian]

Jim 10 laundry.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yeah, it's just like GTL in the Werner Herzog place.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, Werner Herzog was in. He was in one season. He was in one season of Jersey Shore where he told them all that they were in a void. But, Lizzie, I always go back to, who are my people? It's like my wife, my kids. For you. It's, you know, Tom. It's Alfie and who are my friends? And then what is my work that I do? I just always keep pulling myself back to that and saying. And then try to have empathy, which is working a muscle. You can't just say, I have empathy. You just have to keep going at it.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

But that's hard to do. Like, for your job. That's really hard to do. I mean, talk show hosts are usually very mean, and you're very nice.

[Conan O'Brien]

See, that's how I.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

She's the nicest person.

[Conan O'Brien]

Guys, guys, I've ever. Neither of you has the talking stick.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Dolly part.

[Matt Gourley]

We have microphones.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, you put microphones inside of our faces.

[Conan O'Brien]

We've got to do this talking stick thing here. I intuitively fight against the bleakness, which gets harder and harder and harder with all the issues that come up. But if I didn't have kids, I would retreat into. Well, my life went pretty well, and the earth does seem to be getting warmer. But I'll be gone before that's too much of a problem. I mean, I would have the capacity maybe to think that way. I would hope that I wouldn't, but I would have the capacity to. But when you have kids, as you know, you're invested in. Oh, okay.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

The future.

[Conan O'Brien]

We need to figure out how to fix this.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I know.

[Conan O'Brien]

Ugh.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I know. They're like the greatest balm of all time. And also.

[Conan O'Brien]

But also right now, going through what you're going through with the loss of your dad, I found. And I know that Sona's been through so much lately, lost her home in the end, but. But I remember talking to you right after you lost your house in the fire, and you were saying, like, I've got these Mikey and Charlie, and they need Me present. They were kind of saving your ass because you can't say to them, mama's gonna just be depressed and weirded out for two years. I'll see you then.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not gonna be like, I'm in a bed just crying all day. So, you know, and then they're ready to continue on. And so you're ready to continue on.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Absolutely.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's like the best, best medicine.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

It really is. And it, like, gets you out of it. Totally. They're like little Prozex. Yeah, they are sweet, sweet Prozacs. But, yeah, they. It does.

[Conan O'Brien]

It.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

It. It's amazing. Even if you're in a bad mood, like a normal bad mood, and you go in and see your kids, like, unless you want to have them, you know, when they're talking to their therapist or writing their memoir later, be like, mother was sad all the time. She took. She took it all out on me. She would kick the dishwasher and then ignore me for two days. Like, we're not going to do that. We're like, not those people. My. My best friend lives in Altadena. I'm so sorry you lost. That's, like, unbelievable. And watching her. She has a 6 year old and their house did not burn down, but they're totally displaced and they have to live in the back house of a friend from school. And, like, it's actually turning out to be kind of a great situation for now. But if she didn't have this little girl to, like, get to school and not be a husk of a human, like, I don't know. Yeah, I realize now. Cause, I mean, I had my kid kind of late. Like, how much time you just spend, like, wallowing your own shit, and then you don't get to do that anymore. And that, like, rips you out of it. It's a wonderful thing. Is this the funniest episode of Am.

[Conan O'Brien]

I Wrong that I love this episode?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, me too.

[Conan O'Brien]

I mean, Eduardo is the line. You're the line judge on these things.

[Eduardo Perez]

But this is right up my alley.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. No. Cause, like, this is, you know. Excuse us for having a conversation Shuckles over here.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I know you're ready for the party these days.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, but what I'm. This is. I don't know. It's making me feel a lot better.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, it is kind of therapeutic.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's really therapeutic.

[Sona Movsesian]

I think everything feels very heavy right now.

[Conan O'Brien]

For sure.

[Sona Movsesian]

Even if you're not, things just feel really heavy. It's okay to talk about it, you know?

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Agreed. I think you. I think you have to. And it is, like, absorbing the. Because I'm from la, I just moved. Like, we sold our house in December and gave the keys to the new owners on January 24th. So, like, right after the fires, and we were supposed to come back and pack up the house that we've lived in for 11 years and. And say goodbye to the house and have all these people over.

[Conan O'Brien]

Where are you moving to?

[Lizzy Kaplan]

New York, baby.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, all right, all right.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yeah, that just happened. And, like, take Alfie to Disneyland and do all this shit. And we couldn't come back because of the fires and being in New York and watching it, I have. This is my hometown, but I've, like, talked so much shit about LA and what it means and how it's changed and how it's gotten worse and you're sensing a theme and my overall personality.

[Conan O'Brien]

But do you have more Prozac?

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, right.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I gotta up the down.

[Sona Movsesian]

I think it's time for 20 milligrams.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Also, Prozac is new and will recommend. Really?

[Conan O'Brien]

Like, we can do an ad for them.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I would. I mean, I'm, like, obviously loud and proud about it. Maybe I'll regret this part of it.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

But, yeah. So watching it from afar was really strange. And seeing, like, my hometown go through this, I felt, like, this groundswell of love for la, which hasn't gone away. I think this city is amazing. I think Altadena, specifically, is amazing. Like, what they're doing. And that was, like, the la. I didn't grow up in Altadena, but I grew up, like, in the Miracle Mile. And it was much more that vibe than, let's say, the Palisades vibe, which is its own unimaginable, like, I don't even know, tragedy. But there's something about, like, the Angelenos who are from here, who aren't in the business, who just, like, have regular jobs, regular families, and, like, you're just doing it in la. Like, that was my upbringing, and I have so much love for this city. And it was really horrible to be away because all of us, like, in New York, who are from la, kind of huddled together because you'd go into, you know, when it was, like, actively happening or just kind of starting, and, like, went to get my hair cut. The guy's like, how you doing? And I'm like, well, not great. Like, LA's on fire. He's like, oh, yeah. You know, when you're not from la, you don't live there. It's just Like LA has fires. It's just like another thing that's happening somewhere else. And when it's your home, it's crazy. And so, like, my dad, obviously passing away was brutal. And then I've stuck around for these couple weeks and feeling the sadness of LA has been really intense. But also everybody in New York's like, it reminds us of 9 11. Like, people are really coming together and building each other up and like, the community. That was the main kind of complaint I had about la. Like, there's no community and there so is. And I feel like an asshole for saying that.

[Conan O'Brien]

I lived in New York during 911 and one of my clearest memories is going out to dinner and the waitress would come over. The wait person would come over and say, you know, would you guys like to start off with some drinks or, you know, and we'd say, well, how are you? And then the person would end up sitting down at the table and we would all chat. And I remember thinking, this is this weird Eden that we're all living in, where all the old societal norms have gone out the window and people were really talking to each other. And if the bartender, you ask the bartender, you ask whoever's. You ask the person in the store, how are you? Where do you live? How are you doing? And that happened in New York City. And then I remembered it going away. Like, it. Like that's. Humanity just has this way of. If you hit a human being over the head with a big stick, he behaves himself for like six hours and then goes back to being whatever he was before. And I know that this too shall pass, but it is. You do. It's lovely while it's happening and I'm noticing. I just keep having these great conversations with. I think I mentioned this, but there was. Had to go to Sundance for something. And there was a woman who was driving me to the event in Utah, from Salt Lake to Sundance, and started chatting with her, and it turned out she lived in la. And I said, well, how's your place? And she said, well, my place burned to the ground and she's driving me. And we just had this intense conversation and I thought, well, this is kind of what it's supposed to be all the time.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Exactly.

[Conan O'Brien]

Which is, how are you? What's going on in your life? Not drive me, driver. Yeah, where are the tickets tacks? Which is what I reverted to by the end of the drive.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, you got back there.

[Conan O'Brien]

Enough of your whining.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, your house.

[Conan O'Brien]

Where are my tic tacs yeah, he's a spearmint. I wanted the fruity kind.

[Matt Gourley]

Sorry they burned in the fire, sir.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's no excuse.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

A burnt Tic Tac's the best one. Yeah. So it's just perspective and empathy and all that kind of stuff isn't something you attain. It is a practice and it goes away and we all find ourselves drifting away from it and then something happens and we get pulled back into it.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yeah. I wonder. I mean, I have you felt. Because I'm nervous about that. Just like how everybody was like showing up and flooding the gofundmes or whatever. And like you're saying like everything. People move on to the next thing eventually. This is gonna be a long recovery.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Do you feel that it's still as intense?

[Sona Movsesian]

No, no, no, I don't. I mean, I even asked if I would still get a discount somewhere and they're like, oh, we stopped doing that a week ago.

[Conan O'Brien]

That was really the sign because when it first happened, you would walk into a store and tell people that you had lost your home and they would give you this discount, a 20% discount. How long did that last? Was that three weeks?

[Sona Movsesian]

That was like a few weeks. And then I went into a store. I'm not gonna say which one, but I was like, hey, I lost my home in the fire. Do you guys have a discount? And they're like, oh, we stopped doing that a week ago.

[Matt Gourley]

If anything, there's a surcharge.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.

[Conan O'Brien]

The sad thing is, when it was a 99 cent store.

[Sona Movsesian]

I know.

[Conan O'Brien]

I want this scrunchie. Do you have a discount, ma'am? I know it's 50 cents.

[Sona Movsesian]

I think that there's still people. I mean, there's still the empathy there. It's still there. There's still some feeling of it, but it is waning a lot. It is very quick. How quickly people kind of just move on.

[Conan O'Brien]

To be fair, I would often go to a McDonald's and tell them, or a Cheesecake Factory and tell them I had lost my home in a fire even when I hadn't.

[Sona Movsesian]

But you didn't. You're taking my discount.

[Conan O'Brien]

I know. And they would be like, that sounds terrible. And I say, so this McFlurry, what are we talking about here? Can I get 80 cent on the dollar? And sometimes I'd put a little ash on my cheek. No, I did. What? I'm just telling you the real me. I kept. Always keep a little ash in your pocket.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

You can get A discount.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's not like I had ash ever on my.

[Conan O'Brien]

You fucked up. You'd be having a discount McFlurry right now. She had a little ash in your pocket.

[Sona Movsesian]

Why didn't you work up your orphan angle?

[Conan O'Brien]

I tried that. There seems to be this consensus that I'm too old, which I don't get because I think I'm very well preserved for a man my age. Ah, gee. I lost my parents. Do you have any soup, sir? I saw you drive up in a Porsche. Yeah, but I don't. Cash Porsche. It's cash Porsche.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

What can I do?

[Conan O'Brien]

I have a lot of land in Montana and vast holdings, but I can't access. Can I have some soup? All my money's tied up in holdings. It takes 24 hours to get the bank in Sweden to open up. All right. What's your name? Billy.

[Sona Movsesian]

You're changing your name?

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Billy does work better.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's a better name for me. What's the name you were thinking of naming your son but didn't cause.

[Sona Movsesian]

Mickey.

[Conan O'Brien]

Mickey. That's a good one.

[Matt Gourley]

Mickey.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Mickey the orphan. Mickey the 61 year old orphan.

[Sona Movsesian]

It counts.

[Conan O'Brien]

Who's done quite well.

[Sona Movsesian]

It counts.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

It's so fucking dark.

[Sona Movsesian]

It really is.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm sorry, but my parents would laugh at it. I can say that now because they're not here. They would laugh at that. Like them in the afterlife. No, we wouldn't, you asshole. We never liked you. I am going to get back on track to.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yeah, take it back.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I'm going to get back on track to. One of the things that makes me very happy for you is that I think it is a wonderful era for people who have what it takes, have ability and have a work ethic. And you have all those things and you're getting to do consistently this really cool work. You have this project now, zero day, and I was looking at the cast. Yeah, this is on Netflix. And I'm like, you know, I've had so many people sit in the chair that you're in and people talk a lot about body dysmorphia and how people can think they look a certain way and they don't and they hate on themselves. And I consistently believe that there's something called career dysmorphia that hasn't been diagnosed yet or, Or. And I'd like to invent that and submit that to the New England Journal of Medicine. But I've had Al Pacino. Al Pacino sat in that chair and talked so much about the huge chunks of his career that didn't work out and how they didn't want him for the Godfather and how he couldn't get a job in movies in the late 80s and thought he was through and how he thinks all the bad reviews people told him about. And I kept wanting to cut him off and saying, you're Al Pacino. You're the face of film for at least the 70s. You do iconic work in every decade, and you have it, too. It's just so funny to me that you would talk about, oh, you know, the fallow periods. And maybe I could do more if I got the word out on my chia seed recipe. And you're in Zero Day on Netflix. Your co stars are Robert De Niro, Angela Bassett, Connie Britton, Jesse Plemons, Matthew Modine. Yes.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Dan Stevens. It's Gabbie Hoffman. It's the craziest cast.

[Conan O'Brien]

And it's the best work I see now is limited series is our cinema.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

And I like limited series, too. I like watching them and doing them. It just feels like a very long movie. I haven't seen Zero Day. My dad died. I don't know if we mentioned that. So I haven't watched the screeners, which is bad. Cause I do want to watch.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's interesting. I'm trying to picture you watch yourself.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I hate it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I would imagine you would.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I don't always hate it, but I do want to watch this one because it's fairly dense and complex and I want to be able to, like, talk about it. It's topical, a little, like, eerily topical. I hope people are in the mood to watch something that looks a lot like what's happening in reality, but is kind of this horror show version of. Very smart people made this show. Very smart people were in this show. And I don't know, it's ensemble enough that I think I could watch it without, like, hating the experience too much. But I think it's good. I mean, I had a great time doing it. It was surreal. You oftentimes like, the don't meet your heroes thing rings very, very true. It didn't on this.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's nice.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

De Niro, like, just a nice man. Just like a kind, generous man. I always think so. Leslie Linka Glatter, who directed all the episodes, and she did Homeland, and she's the president of the dga. She's like a badass, incredible woman. She's done a bunch of movies. Like, she's wonderful. And she directed every episode. And her vibe on set is she did one episode of Masters of sex in the first season. And I wanted her to be our all the time director, but she was doing Homeland, so she didn't. She maintains this on set energy that I don't even like. It's six months. It's six months to shoot this. Robert De Niro's never done a television show. I believe he didn't know what he was getting into in terms of the time, how much time it takes, and the hours. And he was in everything but the first day of shooting on that. The crew is always in a good mood for everything on the first day, the last day, six months later, everybody was in as good of a mood. The vibes were so good. It was just like a job that felt important, but at the same time. Right size in terms of, like, in your real life, like, you'd go to work and you'd go home, and these people didn't need to be like your best friends and you didn't need. It was just like. It felt very grown up, like adult, but also relieved.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I don't know. It was great. It was a great experience. And we honestly, like, during the strike, which was the last fun thing, just taking it back to, like, the doldrums again. We were supposed to start this June of last year, maybe. I don't know what year it is. Yeah, we were supposed to do, like, June to December, and that was the strike. And we ended up doing January to the next. So it was a full year. And everybody stayed on board. Everybody was just as excited. And we knew we got.

[Conan O'Brien]

Which is rare. Cause usually that's when people say, you know, I got this play I'm gonna go do in the West End. Yeah, West Sand. Nothing.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

It was. And even just having that moment of like, well, everybody else or so many other people were really stressed out about what they were gonna do and work and all of this. Like, knowing that Netflix is probably not gonna shelve the Robert De Niro series. Like, it just felt like we had a safety net at a time when there wasn't a lot of safety nets. And again, like, if it's just the experience, which for me is truly the only part I like of this whole job, like, it was a great experience. And I think it's really good. And I think you should definitely watch it. America. So we can be.

[Conan O'Brien]

Which camera are you looking to?

[Matt Gourley]

The American camera.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

America.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. That's China.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yeah. Let's just make it the number one show on Netflix till the next thing comes out on Netflix. America.

[Conan O'Brien]

The last observation that I will make is. And I'm certain I'm right about this. As dire as things are right now, and this is my need to be optimistic, but I also think this is accurate. Let's say you could go back in time to what you would consider, like, the classic period of making entertainment. And it's like the 1930s or the 1940s, they would have watched you in Mean Girls, and they would have said, she's great. She's really funny. That's what she does. And that's what you would have done for the next 50 years of your career. And because we live in this different era, there's nothing you can't do in this era. Whereas they would have definitely put you in a slot, and you would have been punished for being really good at one thing, and they never would have seen the other thing.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

So even if that means there's iPhones and other problems.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Do you love Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos?

[Conan O'Brien]

They have been on their yachts many times.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Oh, I bet you have.

[Sona Movsesian]

You're a big yacht guy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Big yacht guy.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yeah, big yacht.

[Conan O'Brien]

I know my yachts.

[Matt Gourley]

You got big yacht energy.

[Conan O'Brien]

I have mega. That's the only big energy I have. I have big yacht energy. No, I love a big yacht. I like being invited. I like being at the beck and call of a billionaire.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Oh, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. And then when they say, like, dance for us, I do a little something.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

That makes more sense.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then I get a Krugerrand, a gold coin in case anyone doesn't know what that is.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I also think that even, like, not in the 30s, like, in recent times, they would typecast you and pigeonhole you. And now it's like, only it's very new to not have that happen. Like, in the past 20 years, maybe people think, oh, you can do more than one thing.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

But a lot of people do find themselves, like, stuck in a lane, and it sucks.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm stuck doing one thing because that's what I can do.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

That's not true, Conan. That's not true.

[Sona Movsesian]

I heard.

[Conan O'Brien]

I. I'm. But I'm saying happily. I'm happily stuck in my lane.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

You're not stuck in a lane, though, because I just read that you were incredible in your Sundance movie. Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

As a male gigolo.

[Matt Gourley]

This orphan thing is working for me.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. That's how I got the part.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm an orphan.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I've got orphan.

[Conan O'Brien]

Why am I getting smaller and squeakier as an orphan? But, Lizzie, this was a lovely conversation.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

This is so surreal. I feel like we're just starting it.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, but this was.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

There should have been more jokes.

[Conan O'Brien]

You have dysmorphia.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

There should have been laughter.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, we're gonna put laughter over all the parts. When you talk about losing your dad. When you talk about losing your dad and I talk about losing my parents, we're just gonna pipe in again. Laughter from the 1940s.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

That would be amazing.

[Conan O'Brien]

I love Lucy. Laughs. Nothing has changed. You've only today confirmed my feelings about you, Lizzie, which is you're one of my all time favorite people. You are incredibly hyper, insanely talented, and you're a real person. And every time I see you, you're Lizzy Kaplan. And you're very wise and just a delight to be with you. Thank you very much. I'm gonna say it. Zero Day Netflix. If you're not watching it, you stupid.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Yeah, you're stupid. Yeah, don't be stupid. Watch Zero Day.

[Conan O'Brien]

Come on. Why isn't that gonna be.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

No, that is the tagline. I mean, Dinero's been saying that on everything.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, you see a lower price somewhere else on a mattress. Mattress Firm will match it up with their low price guarantee. I love it when people have that kind of self assurance. I know.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Me too.

[Conan O'Brien]

Mattress Firm will find you the right bed with their wide selection of quality mattresses at every price. Every price. You want your perfect bed, you want it quick. That's why Mattress Firm offers free and fast delivery. I love that. I don't want to be hauling a mattress around by myself.

[Sona Movsesian]

I like free and I like fast.

[Conan O'Brien]

You like free and fast? Yeah, me too. Finally, we agree. Get matched at Mattress Firm's president's day sale and sleep at night to 76693 for $100 off your next purchase at Mattress Firm. Restrictions apply. See mattressfirm.com or store for details. One of the hardest parts about P2B marketing is reaching the right audience. You put so much effort into a campaign only for it to get wasted on the wrong people. I know. Like I'm trying to sell my coal miner's hat and it goes to a dance troupe.

[Sona Movsesian]

Ugh.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's no good. It's just stupid. That's where LinkedIn ads come in. Fortunately, LinkedIn is a network of over 1 billion1. You can't even count that high.

[Sona Movsesian]

I can't.

[Conan O'Brien]

I can't either. Link has a network of over 1 billion businessy people who might actually be interested in your business. You can even target your buyers by job title, industry, company role, seniority, skills, company revenues. Did I say job title? I Think I did. So stop wasting budget on the wrong audience. That's just stupid. Start targeting the right professionals with LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn will give you a $100 credit on the next campaign. So you can try it yourself. Just go LinkedIn.com TeamCoco. That's LinkedIn.com TeamCoco. Terms and conditions apply only on LinkedIn ads.

[Matt Gourley]

Recently on the podcast, we talked about how you could mail into a comic book advertisement and get the Polaris nuclear submarine.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. The only thing I'll add to that. This was many years ago. I don't think it's still true, but when I was a kid, probably around 1970, on the back of a magazine, there were these things that you could. On a back of a comic book, there were things you could send away with. One of them, famously, was, like, X ray specs. And it showed a guy. I mean, it's so not PC today, but a guy looking at a woman in a dress. And the idea was that you put these on and you can see through her dress.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, good.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

How many of those did you buy?

[Conan O'Brien]

700. And they do work. Yeah. One of the things that really intrigued me was give us. I don't know what it was.

[Matt Gourley]

$7.

[Conan O'Brien]

$7, and we'll send you a working mini Polaris sub that fires missiles. You can get inside. It has a periscope. Now, I never did it, but all these years later, it floats into my mind every now and then. What the hell was that thing? What did you. Because legally, if you send them $7, they have to send you something. And so we brought it up. And you remembered it, too.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, I did. And I remember the hovercraft, too. And they're distinctly two different things. Okay, so the submarine does send you. You a submarine.

[Conan O'Brien]

What?

[Matt Gourley]

But apparently it's been very hard for people to track down. And I found the third Point of Singularity blog. It kind of. It looks like they went on a kind of hunt themselves.

[Conan O'Brien]

Y.

[Matt Gourley]

And ultimately found it. It's the other tab, Eduardo, if you don't mind. And this is what you end up getting. And it's like a cardboard submarine.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God. Wait a minute. I swear to God, that kid looks like me. Yeah, I mean, that's what I looked like back in the day. He's got the same bull haircut, cut, the same look of just defeat.

[Sona Movsesian]

A.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, no. But that. Wait a minute. That, I have to say, looks more impressive than I thought.

[Matt Gourley]

Really? Because I see just cardboard that's kind of pinned together and certainly not Going to do well in the water.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, well.

[Sona Movsesian]

But isn't that nice? He's using his imagination. Is that the whole point?

[Conan O'Brien]

Does it fire or I guess a missile.

[Sona Movsesian]

Okay, so it's all right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, so I don't know. I was. This is. This is helping me. This is actually. This is therapeutic. This is giving me some closure. Because that's something.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

You get inside and it does close and it's got. I mean, seven bucks. I guess this is seven bucks back then. So now this would be the equivalent of like $35.

[Matt Gourley]

That's true.

[Conan O'Brien]

True, so. Or $50. I don't know. Times have changed. It's so funny. He looks so far from water.

[Matt Gourley]

I know. I mean, it's like he's like.

[Conan O'Brien]

He's in the Midwest. There isn't a body of water for 800 miles. And he's like, see you later.

[Matt Gourley]

For the listener, this looks like a cardboard submarine seated in the middle of a big lawn.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. And there's a fence way in the backyard. And then power lines. All you can see is. Is just lawn and no ocean.

[Sona Movsesian]

It's fun, though. How fun is that?

[Conan O'Brien]

It would be fun.

[Sona Movsesian]

It would be fun. If you're a little kid, you don't. You're not gonna go to the ocean and go in a submarine. That's. I used to make things out of boxes.

[Conan O'Brien]

I used to too. I used to. If a big box came in, it was just a done deal that either Luke or I would get to build something with it. So I don't know. I'm. I'm. I am not disappointed by that.

[Sona Movsesian]

Me neither.

[Conan O'Brien]

That actually looks like. Looks better than I thought it was gonna look.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, me too.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm impressed. I salute this company. And I think this should have been used by the military.

[Matt Gourley]

The thing that I more remember was this hovercraft. And when I said last time that I thought it was a kit, that's what the hovercraft is. You were supposed to take your motor out of your vacuum and build this hovercraft. So let's go to the other tab here.

[Conan O'Brien]

This must have thrilled your parents.

[Matt Gourley]

I know.

[Conan O'Brien]

When they went to use the vacuum.

[Matt Gourley]

Does this look familiar to you?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Matt Gourley]

Lifts £200.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

Nothing about this looks familiar.

[Matt Gourley]

And then scroll down and you can see on this blog. Wait, go back up to see what this blog is named. Dwyer and Michaels.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Matt Gourley]

All right.

[Conan O'Brien]

This guy actually built the vacuum. Okay. You can. And here's the order. Astronauts iron on with order. Okay. You can float on air free lifts. £200. So basically, yeah, a hovercraft you could build. I remember this. Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

Now scroll down and you can see that the guy built it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. There's a bunch of other ads.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh boy.

[Matt Gourley]

That's. That's it.

[Conan O'Brien]

He's building it.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, well there you go.

[Matt Gourley]

And then. Yeah, play that video.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Look at that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, I know this website. It's called Bad Use of youf Time. Well, I was supposed to do dialysis today, but I figured I'll build this hovercraft from the 60s. That's, that's kind of cool.

[Sona Movsesian]

We can't get enough air from a vacuum.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, got him. He wasn't looking.

[Matt Gourley]

But no kid that's, you know, eight year old kid is going to be able to build that. I guess it's a nice project with your, you know, scout troop leader or your dad.

[Conan O'Brien]

Big problem here is you have to take the motor out of your parents vacuum cleaner. And that was not going to fly in my house.

[Matt Gourley]

No kid from the 50s that took the motor out of their vacuum cleaner would get away unscathed.

[Sona Movsesian]

Also, how do you do that? How do you just take a motor out of a vacuum? Why do they think an 8 year old would even know how to do that? That okay, yeah, that's fine. I'm asking the real question. But you guys are being nostalgic.

[Matt Gourley]

Wait, we're here with you?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Just because we don't answer every one of your questions.

[Sona Movsesian]

You stare at me confused and I.

[Conan O'Brien]

Just don't know why I hired you. That's an old, that's a look that goes back to don't think about. Don't think about it 2008 question.

[Sona Movsesian]

We don't think about that. We just live in the moment.

[Conan O'Brien]

Live in the moment. Well, that. You know what I have to say there is closure here.

[Matt Gourley]

Good.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's what I. I now know. What Rosebud. That helped me. That helped me.

[Sona Movsesian]

How? Why?

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't know. Because it was a mystery that never got solved. It was an itch that never got scratched. It was a riddle that never had an answer. And now you have shown me what it was.

[Matt Gourley]

Do you remember too? Like the X ray gogs, there was also a thing where you could go from being a scrawny little kid to a big kind of like buff guy. And there's a little picture of tough guy kicking sand on the little guy on the beach.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Those are called steroids. That's called comic book, that's called juicing. I don't know what they were promising. They Were just probably sending you a booklet that said, says, take two soup cans from mom's kitchen and start using them to make a bicep. But now we know what that is. Which is medical grade chemicals that will transform your body. And I got to know because I'm on them.

[Matt Gourley]

How long you been on them?

[Conan O'Brien]

Sadly, I've been on them for my entire life.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Oh, no.

[Conan O'Brien]

What would you have looked like? I'd have had no skeletal structure. Well, that was fun. Thank you for doing that. Helped me, and I hope it helped everyone else who listens from my generation who remembers that. Sona, you seem confused.

[Sona Movsesian]

I am completely confused. But I also. I mean, I think that every generation has, like, toys and stuff that, like, kind of dupe you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, exactly.

[Matt Gourley]

What was yours?

[Eduardo Perez]

McDonald's monopoly.

[Sona Movsesian]

Oh, well, that's different because that was rigged. But I was thinking of this scitech gear. Do you guys remember. Remember the spy tech stuff? It was like a bunch of gear that they sold to kids that was supposed to help you spot, like, be a better spot.

[Conan O'Brien]

I remember this. Like, there was a mirror.

[Matt Gourley]

Periscope.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a microphone. Or like a. Not a microphone, but something you held up so you could hear things further away.

[Conan O'Brien]

And so. And it didn't work. I know.

[Sona Movsesian]

I think we bought a bunch of it. I don't think any of it worked.

[Matt Gourley]

Were you doing actual spying for the.

[Sona Movsesian]

Government on our neighbors? Oh, we would go around our neighbors, hide behind bushes and try to spy on.

[Matt Gourley]

Do you ever hear anything juicy?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sona Movsesian]

No, because they did.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, they're Armenians. You. We all live in this neighborhood. What about you? What did you mention?

[Eduardo Perez]

I mentioned McDonald's monopoly. Although to Sona's point, it was. It's been explained now through documentaries that it was all a scam. But as a kid, you know, you were sold on the promise of, like, oh, if I just buy a bunch of fries and we keep eating at McDonald's and we get these little game pieces, we can win a mansion or, you know, some really cool prizes. And you're just constantly after the chase.

[Matt Gourley]

Well, the real win there is the. The health that you got from me.

[Conan O'Brien]

And all those flies.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Our generation reminds me of the Columbia House records. Yes.

[Sona Movsesian]

I was thinking of like, a penny for like, 19 CDs. Yes.

[Eduardo Perez]

For one penny.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, I have to say all of these things are true disappointments. The sub is looking pretty good.

[Matt Gourley]

Yeah, now that you mentioned.

[Conan O'Brien]

I mean, I'm just saying I'm happy because the one I dreamed about the most actually appears to be. Be Somewhat valid. Would I take it deep into the North Atlantic and attack a Russian sub? Probably not. But that kid seemed pretty happy.

[Sona Movsesian]

That kid could have been you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, that kid could have been me.

[Sona Movsesian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then maybe in some other, you know, fold in time. That kid is me. Yeah. You know? Well, this has been a strange end to any conversation. I'm going to sign off now, but Dreams Deferred will continue. It's the new song segment. Peace out, Tupac. Live your dreams. Or your dreams live you. I have no ending for this, so I'll just keep talking.

[Matt Gourley]

No, please, until I hit something, just.

[Conan O'Brien]

Say bye and we end. Or do we? A beginning becomes a reality as we finalize.

[Sona Movsesian]

We'll see you next.

[Conan O'Brien]

He's turning my sound off.

[Matt Gourley]

Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley produced by me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples, engineering and mixing by AD Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail] Conan and if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend. Wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[Conan O'Brien]

Every day, our world gets a little more connected, but a little further apart.

[Matt Gourley]

But then there are moments that remind.

[Conan O'Brien]

Us to be more human. Thank you for calling Amica Insurance.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

Hey, I was just in an accident.

[Conan O'Brien]

Don't worry, we'll get you taken care of.

[Matt Gourley]

At Ameca, we understand that looking out for each other isn't new or groundbreaking.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's human.

[Matt Gourley]

Amica empathy is our best policy.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

All set for your flight?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yep. I've got everything I need.

[Sona Movsesian]

Eye mask, neck pillow, T Mobile, headphones.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wait, T Mobile? You bet. Free inflight Wi Fi, 15% off all Hilton brands.

[Sona Movsesian]

I never go anywhere without T Mobile.

[Conan O'Brien]

Same goes from a water bottle, chewing gum, nail clippers.

[Lizzy Kaplan]

I'm gonna leave you to it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Find out how you can experience travel better@t mobile.com Travel qualifying plan required Wi Fi were available on select US airlines. Deposit and Hilton honors membership required for 15% discount. Terms and conditions apply.