Podcast Summary: Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend – Mary Bronstein

Date: October 16, 2025
Guest: Mary Bronstein (writer/director of If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You)
Host(s): Conan O’Brien, with Matt Gourley & Sona Movsesian

Episode Overview

This episode features writer/director Mary Bronstein, celebrating the release of her new A24 film, If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You, starring Rose Byrne and, unexpectedly, Conan O’Brien himself. Conan explores his unlikely turn as a film actor, Mary’s journey from fan to filmmaker, the creative process behind the movie, and broader conversations about therapy, women in film, and the surreal experience of seeing characters come to life. The episode is a blend of playful, self-deprecating humor, lively banter, and sincere creative insights, offering a behind-the-scenes look at the making of an unusual, tone-driven movie and an evolving friendship.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Mary Bronstein: From Fan to Collaborator

• Mary’s Lifelong Fandom and a Faxed Encounter
  • Mary recounts being a 14-year-old superfan in 1993, sleuthing Conan's show’s office number pre-internet, and FAXING him questions for a school project. Conan handwrote a reply, making a lasting impression on young Mary as she realized show business wasn’t so inaccessible.
    • Mary [06:47]: “My middle name is Tenacity. And it says a lot about you. Your middle name is Mensch.”
    • Conan [09:39]: “My handwriting is like typing. Do you still have that fax?”

2. The Surreal Path to Conan’s Acting Debut

• How Conan Got the Offer

  • Conan tells the roundabout story: Adam Sandler calls asking if Josh Safdie from A24 can have Conan’s number about being in a film by “some lady.” Reading Mary’s script, Conan’s struck by its “very original voice” and distinct tone, despite not being a “script person.”
    • Conan [11:40]: “An A24 film… Safdie… lady that you don’t know who claims she has a letter from you. And so I read the script… there’s a tone to this movie that just comes off the page.”

• Conan’s Reluctance & Radical ‘Yes’

  • Conan (ever self-deprecating) almost tries to talk Mary out of casting him, doubting his acting skills, but ultimately says yes out of a desire to do things that scare him, provided Mary would fire him if he was bad—and they could still be friends.
    • Mary [13:19]: “You said, so that’s the place that I’m gonna say yes from. And then you said, but if I—you said—you made me promise you that if you sucked, that I would fire you and that we could still be friends.”

3. Working With Rose Byrne: Awe, Intimidation, and Chemistry

• First Meeting Awkwardness

  • Conan and Mary recall meeting Rose Byrne. Rose playfully “interrogates” Conan about his acting background (or lack thereof), shrinking him with unassuming wit.
    • Conan [16:20]: “Rose looks at me and she goes, Conan, so what acting have you done?... Not sketches. In high school, were you in plays?... She kept going.”
    • Mary [17:19]: “I was sitting there like... as the person who cast both of you and knowing that your scenes are exclusively only with each other, I’m dying a little.”

• Rose’s Acting Method—and Conan’s Anxiety

  • Mary describes Rose’s talent for diving instantly into heavy emotion, then immediately bouncing back with laughter—a trait Conan calls superhuman.
    • Conan [28:58]: “I have to say the secret weapon in that situation is Rose Byrne. Because I would see her go from zero to 95... She can just pull her own heart out and rip it in half in front of you. And then you would yell, cut, and she’d say, ‘Hey, can I get a sandwich?’”
    • Mary [29:05]: “...After an intense scene, she just started hysterically laughing... it was a release.”

4. The Director’s Method: Character Work, Therapy, & Set Dynamic

• Therapist Offices and Scene Rehearsal

  • The trio discussed the authentic tiny therapist's office used, and Mary’s immersive rehearsal style—four hours on a terrace per day, “drilling” Conan on character backstory and motivation.
    • Mary [23:07]: “Four hours a day. And we would go over and you would drill me on, who is this guy? What’s his deal?”
    • Conan [27:18]: “You are 100% correct... By the time my assistant, David Hopping... I was looking for him.”

• Different Therapy Styles Reflected in Set & Story

  • Mary, a veteran of various therapists, notes how each office’s vibe shapes the movie’s authenticity and subtly mirrors different types of therapy.

5. The Challenge of Playing an Unlikable Character

• Conan’s People-Pleaser Instincts Run Counter
  • Conan confesses he didn’t “like” his character, especially as his scenes are with someone as beloved as Rose Byrne. Mary pushes him to avoid his natural urge to be likable and instead play it raw and straight—against every Conan instinct.
    • Mary [31:15]: “You have to love him. Because he’s you.”
    • Conan [31:59]: “I am a people pleaser... A lot of my career has been trying to put people at ease... and in this role, I had to do the opposite.”

6. Filmmaking: Creative Ownership & Tempo vs. TV

• Differences Between Filmmaking and TV
  • They dig into the differences between the immediacy of late-night TV (instant, ephemeral) and the long-haul patience and fights inherent to filmmaking.
    • Mary [36:22]: “From my brain to the page to the screen. I made no creative concessions... but not because it’s easy... you fight and you fight... Filmmaking is like the longest con there is because of how long it takes to do.”
    • Mary [38:31]: “That’s the magic of broadcast television... It feels loose and it feels immediate and it’s ephemeral... that for me, that’s—broadcast television.”

7. Women & Perspective in Film

• Why a “Women Going Crazy” Movie By a Woman Matters
  • Mary unpacks why directing a movie about a woman’s mental struggle through her own lens is fundamentally different from when men do it—invoking Denzel Washington on culture and experience.
    • Mary [40:52]: “...the same way that a man doesn’t know what it’s like to be socialized in a society as a girl and grow up and to be a woman... It’s culture, it’s experience, it’s just baked in... All I care about is creating characters, female characters that are full human beings that are on the screen.”

8. Comedy, Puppets, and Sesame Street Surrealism

• On Gallows Humor and Puppets

  • The film contains a darkly comic, puppet-involved scene (“It involves a hamster”), which Mary ensures leans into the visible-artifice gags she grew up loving on The Muppet Show.
    • Mary [47:11]: “I can say without giving anything away, it involves a hamster... if you’re gonna use puppets... There's no way that I’m not tricking anybody into thinking that it’s not a puppet.”

• Behind the Curtain at Sesame Street

  • Conan and Mary swap hilarious haunted-warehouse tales of seeing Snuffleupagus and Big Bird’s severed body parts in the Sesame Street studios.
    • Conan [48:26]: “...they have lashed Snuffleupagus to the ceiling... it looks exactly like the guard that Hannibal Lecter flays and puts up... eyes rolled back... that's horrifying.”

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Determination and Early Connections
  • “My middle name is Tenacity. And it says a lot about you. Your middle name is Mensch.” — Mary, [09:33]
• On Surreal Hollywood Connections
  • “A24 film... Safdie... lady that you don’t know who claims she has a letter from you.” — Conan, [11:40]
• On Acting Anxiety
  • “When you said Rose Byrne is going to be your scene partner, I had two instincts. The repressed Irish Catholic boy... I love her so much... But also, oh my God, I can’t let Rose Byrne down.” — Conan, [14:34]
• On the Directorial Demands
  • “Four hours a day. ...You would drill me on, who is this guy? What’s his deal?” — Mary, [23:07]
• On Fighting for Creative Ownership
  • “...You fight and you fight and you fight, and then... I have to say A24 were such wonderful partners because I won every fight... This movie shall have no score. The score is sound design.” — Mary, [36:22]
• On Gender and Storytelling Perspective
  • “It’s not about color, it’s not about race, it’s about culture... I don’t know what it’s like to be a man. It doesn’t matter, but... all I care about is putting... female characters that are full human beings that are on the screen.” — Mary, [40:49]
• On Surrealism in Comedy & Childhood Nostalgia
  • “On the Muppet Show, you see strings... doesn’t matter because you’re watching a puppet and no one’s trying to pretend it’s not a puppet.” — Mary, [47:56]

Highlighted Moments with Timestamps

| Timestamp | Content | |---------------|------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 06:47 | Mary recounts faxing Conan as a teen and her first sense of possibility| | 13:19 | Conan and Mary discuss the “radical yes” attitude in taking risks | | 16:20 | Rose Byrne playfully interrogates Conan about his acting credentials | | 23:07 | Mary’s “acting camp” with Conan on backstory and process | | 27:52 | Conan’s heart-pounding nerves before filming an intense scene | | 29:05 | Rose’s cathartic laughter after a tense performance | | 31:15 | Mary urges Conan to “love” his unlikeable character | | 36:22 | Mary on fighting for her creative vision (no score) | | 40:52 | Mary on why her film’s perspective matters as a woman director | | 47:11 | Discussion of the intentionally “obvious puppet” in the film | | 48:26 | Conan’s haunted description of Snuffleupagus lashed to a ceiling |

Conclusion

The conversation alternates between sharp humor, Conan’s reflective humility, and Mary’s passionate artistry, serving both as an inspiring creative masterclass and as a chronicle of two oddballs finding common ground. The episode not only demystifies movie-making and risk-taking, but also affirms the power of persistence, personal connection, and embracing creative discomfort.

Film Release Details (as of episode date):

• Opens in New York and LA: October 10
• Expands to other cities: October 17

Final Words

“I’m thrilled to be your second best friend. ... Go, go, go, never stop. Do your thing.” – Conan, [54:47]
“And I’m really proud of you. I’m your avuncular pal.” – Conan, [55:44]