OBGYN Baaaaby

Summary

Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend
Episode: OBGYN Baaaaby
Date: May 14, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this playful, insightful episode, Conan and co-host Sona Movsesian sit down with Jessica, an OB/GYN from New Jersey, for an irreverent and heartfelt conversation. The episode covers Jessica’s fascinating path from being a teenage Conan fan in the studio audience to delivering babies in her hometown. Conan, Sona, and Jessica blend comedy with candid discussion about childbirth, women’s health, and the quirks of being an OB/GYN. The conversation naturally veers into the wonders and weirdness of life, culminating in frank, funny talk about anatomy, birth, medical rituals, and Conan’s persistent (and hilarious) confusion about the clitoris.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. From Conan Fan to OB/GYN (01:46–04:17)

• Jessica’s Background

  • Jessica introduces herself as an OB/GYN from Monmouth County, New Jersey.
  • Shares her history as a fan, recalling attending Conan’s tapings in high school with her mother and a memorable 1999 encounter with Fabio (who dipped her mom and kissed her).

• Memorable Anecdote

  • The iconic "Fabio’s rollercoaster goose incident" is retold, with Conan marveling:

    “He dipped my mom backwards, kissed her on the mouth in front of my dad, and a month later got hit on a roller coaster by a goose.” (03:53, Jessica)

  • Conan quips:

    “What an incredible sentence … a series of images cascading into each other at the Lampoon. You wish. You wish.” (04:17, Conan)

2. The Miracle (and Reality) of Birth (05:51–10:44)

• Jessica’s Passion for Obstetrics

  • Jessica describes never losing her sense of wonder at witnessing births:

    "Every time I do an ultrasound and I see a heartbeat for the first time... every time a baby takes its first breath and cries, I'm like, this is so amazing." (06:16, Jessica)

  • She jokes about wishing babies would be born during regular business hours—and the realities of being on call in her 40s.

• Birth Room Rituals: Cutting the Cord

  • Sona and Conan share their own birth experiences.
  • Jessica explains dads often black out or “pass out” post-birth:

    “The dads are always falling down, and we're always like, we don't have time for you right now, little bitches … we have smelling salts." (08:39, Jessica)

  • On cord-cutting:

    "It's thicker than you think. It's like cutting chicken … you really have to go for the gusto." (09:27, Jessica)

  • Jessica details immediate newborn care—delayed cord clamping, skin-to-skin contact, ensuring the baby cries:

    “Sometimes [you just] flick its little foot … it pisses them off.” (10:16, Jessica)

3. Women’s Health 101: Conan Gets Schooled (15:15–18:04)

• Educating Conan: Basic Anatomy

  • Jessica attempts to teach Conan the basics of female anatomy:

    "Women have more than two holes. They have three holes. That's always interesting." (15:43, Jessica)

  • Conan, feigning utter confusion, plays the comic foil:

    “Suddenly, it’s a bowling ball…” (16:06, Conan)

  • Jessica gives a pediatric explanation ("pee pee, poo poo"), prompting everyone to break character and joke about “Poo Poo U” (medical school for childish terminology).

• The Mythic Clitoris

  • Jessica mentions the importance of knowing about the clitoris; Conan claims it’s a myth:

    "As far as I'm concerned, that's Sasquatch. You hear a lot of talk, but I've seen no evidence. … I'm a clitoris denier." (17:02–17:19, Conan)

  • Sona and Jessica rib Conan for his evasiveness and textbook embarrassment discussing reproductive anatomy.

4. The Details of Circumcision & OB/GYN Experience (18:04–20:21)

• Circumcision Procedures

  • Conan grills Jessica about the tools and process (“I like to use something called a Mogen—it looks like a cigar cutter,” Jessica, 19:00).
  • She describes numbing with a nerve block and a “spa experience” atmosphere for the baby.

• Conan’s Recurrent Joke

  • Conan’s running “calamari” joke:

    “That calamari was really good … now that joke works because he ate the foreskin thinking it was calamari.” (19:49, Conan)

• Why Jessica Loves Her Job

  • "If anyone said that's my favorite thing to do, that's a red flag right there." (20:15, Conan, on circumcisions)
  • Jessica expresses gratitude for a career so tied to the miracle of life and her local community.

5. The Emotional & Emotional Role of OB/GYNs (21:00–23:44)

• Intimacy with Patients

  • Jessica and Sona reflect on the importance of trust and vulnerability in women’s healthcare relationships:

    “The relationship we have with our OBs is such an important relationship. To be able to say whatever we need to say about our bodies… it’s awesome.” (22:48, Sona)

  • Jessica credits her pandemic experience for deepening her patient relationships and mentions comedy podcasts (including Conan’s) as a source of comfort during COVID-19.

• Conan’s Comic Reluctance

  • Sona teases Conan’s squeamishness:

    “You don’t want to hear about perimenopause?” (23:10, Sona)
    “I don’t want to hear about any of it.” (23:15, Conan)

  • Both joke about taboo topics and generational discomfort around women’s health discussions.

• Closing Warmth

  • Conan closes with authentic appreciation:

    "You’re a very impressive person, Jessica. Really, seriously, and very, very cool to talk to you." (22:24, Conan)

  • Jessica offers to finally draw Conan a picture of the “fabled clitoris”:

    “I can draw you a picture.” (23:53, Jessica)
    “Might as well draw a unicorn as far as I’m concerned.” (23:55, Conan)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “He dipped my mom backwards, kissed her on the mouth in front of my dad, and a month later got hit on a roller coaster by a goose.”
  – Jessica (03:53)

• "Every time I do an ultrasound and I see a heartbeat for the first time … I'm amazed."
  – Jessica (06:16)

• “[Dads] are always like, we don't have time for you right now, little bitches.”
  – Jessica (08:39)

• "It's like cutting chicken … you got to really go for the gusto."
  – Jessica (09:27)

• “Women have more than two holes. They have three holes.”
  – Jessica (15:43)

• “As far as I’m concerned, [the clitoris is] Sasquatch. You hear a lot of talk, but I’ve seen no evidence. … I’m a clitoris denier.”
  – Conan (17:02–17:19)

• “If anyone said that’s my favorite thing to do, that’s a red flag right there.”
  – Conan (20:15)

• “The relationship we have with our obs is such an important relationship. … I love my ob.”
  – Sona (22:48)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:46 – Jessica Introduction, New Jersey roots, Conan tapings
• 03:17 – The Fabio story, goose incident, Conan’s riff
• 06:16 – Jessica’s love of OB work, the miracle of birth
• 08:33 – Birth rituals, Conan and Sona’s birth experiences
• 10:44 – First moments for newborns, skin-to-skin, crying
• 15:15 – Conan quizzes Jessica on anatomy, three holes
• 17:01 – Clitoris denial, Sasquatch joke
• 18:04 – Tools and techniques of circumcision
• 21:00 – Conan reflects on the privilege and gravity of the OB/GYN profession
• 22:24 – Sona on the importance of OB/patient relationships
• 23:44 – Farewells, Jessica offers to draw Conan a picture

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Tone and Takeaways

The episode is playful, irreverent, and laden with Conan’s signature self-deprecating humor, balanced by real admiration for Jessica’s work. Conan’s and Sona’s banter ensures the subject matter, even when intimate, remains approachable and disarmingly funny. Listeners leave not only entertained but a bit more educated on the realities (and joys) of women’s health—and aware of just how much trust and connection goes into OB/GYN care.

Transcript

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[B]

Conan O' Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com call Conan. Okay, let's get started.

[A]

Hey, Jessica. Welcome to Conan o' Brien needs a fan.

[C]

Hi, guys. Thanks for having me.

[A]

Hey, Jessica. How are you?

[C]

Oh, this is a dream come true. I'm having a great time.

[A]

Okay, well, you're masking it very well.

[C]

I just finished office hours. I was like, I took up her panel all too. So I'm like, beta blocker up, you know?

[B]

Great.

[A]

I love my cholers to be drugged up. That's the best way.

[C]

Listen, I'm a doctor. I can get these prescriptions easily.

[A]

Jessica, where are you right now?

[C]

I am in New Jersey. Like Jersey Shore, Monmouth County.

[A]

Okay, very. And you are. It says here you're an ob G, Y, N. Is that correct?

[C]

That's right. That's right, baby.

[A]

Is that how you always respond when people say, are you an obgyn?

[C]

Yes, baby. They're in stirrups. And I'm like, hey, baby. It doesn't go over well every time, but wow.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I'm A very specific type of doctor. I get a very specific type of patient.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is. There's so much to talk about here. First of all, have we met before? Because someone said you came to a taping or two back in the day.

[C]

I mean. Yeah. When I was in high school, I lived in Jersey. We would pop into the city. So I went to a lot of your tapings.

[A]

Oh, wow, cool.

[C]

And, yeah, I mean, obsessed. And then my mom had, like, a ticket stub from one time we went to see you in 1999.

[A]

Wow, cool.

[C]

And we had met Fabio at that T thing.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

I should point out, Fabio was an intern at the time for our show.

[C]

Yes. And so we took this picture. It was before smartphones, so it was one of those throwaway cameras. And then after my mom took the picture with him, he grabbed my mom, dipped her backwards, kissed her on the mouth in front of my dad, and then, like, walked away. And then a month later, he got hit in the face with the goose on the roller coaster. Do you remember? His face exploded on a roller coaster.

[A]

That's such an incredible. What an incredible sentence. Let's think about that sentence. He dipped my mom backwards, kissed her on the mouth in front of my dad, and a month later got hit on a roller coaster by a goose. What an amazing, you know, incredible piece of writing that is. A series of images cascading into each

[C]

other at the Lampoon. You wish. You wish.

[A]

I know. Oh, never. I never could have thought of anything like that in my glory days. So. Okay, well, there's a lot to. As my wife would say, there's a lot to unpack there. So Fabio was kissing women. I hope that's been discouraged on Fabio now. I would have carried a spray bottle around Fabio and sprayed him like a bad cat.

[C]

What up would you spray him with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter?

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Remember, that was his big campaign.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

He was the shill for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

[B]

I would have tongued it.

[A]

You would have tongued Fabio?

[C]

My men would have. She was like, let's. Then you would have go full throttle.

[A]

Sona would have bent him over backwards. Sona, probably your hair. Sona's twice as strong as. As Fabio. Wow. Okay, so that's so nice. I'm glad you came to the shows, and I hope you had a good time. Was your dad traumatized by seeing your mom attacked by Fabio?

[C]

My dad's from Brooklyn, so he wasn't having it. And I think my dad has some sort of superpowers where he put some sort of hex, like on Fabio, and then that's why he got hit by a goose in the face, like, a month later.

[A]

Have you. This is a pretty famous piece of tape. I guess he was on a roller coaster and. And he. And his nose is bleeding and everything. And. Yeah, yeah, there he is bleeding.

[C]

There it is.

[A]

And it was apparently. It was apparently a Brooklyn goose. The goose was paid by your dad.

[C]

And look how pristine his face was here. Pristine.

[A]

Yeah, pristine. Never again. Never again. So I want to talk to you about your profession. You are. First of all, this is an incredible, incredible job to have. You're around so many births and you're bringing new life into the world. Tell us about that. Do you get jaded or do you still see the miracle?

[C]

Every time I think the day I'm like, oh, this is not amazing, is the day I should just hang it up. Every time I do an ultrasound and I see a heartbeat for the first time for a patient, I'm amazed. Every time a baby takes its first breath and cries, I'm like, this is so amazing. Shout out to Gorlie, who I know is on his paternity.

[A]

He's on paternity leave? Yeah, he's on paternity leave. He's got two children now, and we're all excited for him. And Sona, of course, has experienced this miracle herself with twins.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But you got over it real fast.

[B]

I was just like, let's get on with it. Let's do this. Get them out. Let's go. We gotta hit the club.

[A]

She took her newborns to the club.

[C]

Well, I only have one daughter. I was one and done. And I feel like it's because I do so much with my patients. I really live through their pregnancies with them, and it's a beautiful thing. I wish it happened during normal business hours. I think it's kind of a bummer that they like to come in the middle of the night, the babies. It's pretty rude.

[A]

Is it true that you. You've been accused of trying to induce between nine and five,

[C]

none of your

[A]

babies are born on any kind of bank holiday. They're not born.

[C]

Everyone's like, oh, you have to go play golf or something. Like, I don't play golf. Like, what year is this? But, yeah. So I wish it happened during normal business hours. It doesn't. But I picked this when I was in my twenties. Now I'm in my forties I'm feeling a little old, a little schleppy, but it's okay. I still love it.

[A]

So I'm curious. There's so many things to. What are the things that you do immediately after the birth? What are the. What happened? The baby's born. And I have been through this twice with my kids. I was there very present, Very present for both. You saw things. Sorry. I saw so many things. And I. And then it's so funny how you can kind of forget. I don't know what you can. You can kind of almost black out afterwards. And so I'm trying to remember what happens. I mean, yes, there's the cutting of the umbilical cord.

[C]

The dads black out a lot. They literally pass out.

[A]

I didn't pass. I didn't pass out.

[C]

Thank you. Thank you so much for that. Because the dads are always falling down, and we're always like, we don't have time for you right now, little bitches. And just like, pick your. Right. Yeah, we have smelling salts. Like, come on. But the cutting of the cord. Yes. The dads like to do that. I'm not sure how that became a thing, but if that makes them feel included, I'm all for it.

[A]

It's so funny because I didn't ask to cut the cord, but the doctor said, now you cut the cord. And he handed me the scissors, and I thought, well, am I getting paid here? You know what I mean?

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I'm serious. When I have a plumber over and he hands me the wrench, I'm like, okay, I wanna. Am I getting a. Am I getting.

[C]

So that was my complaint compensated.

[A]

And I was. I worry about unions. I don't want it to be a union violation.

[B]

Right, right. Okay.

[A]

So that was my concern.

[C]

I always tell the dads, it's thicker than you think. It's like cutting chicken because they kind of, like, take, like, little bites out of it. But you got to really go for the gusto. It's thicker than you think. Yeah, but the baby goes right on mommy's abdomen. We do delayed cord clamping. Get some blood flow back into baby. We want to do that skin to skin for that first hour. A lot of bonding. Our hospital is really about mom and baby bonding and. But yeah, we get them to stimulate and cry and give us that good first. Really?

[A]

How do you get them to cry? Do you just tell them sad stuff? What do you.

[C]

Yes, actually, I tell them no.

[A]

Shocking number of Americans can't read baby's like, what?

[C]

I Hold them up and spank them on the butt. But we don't do that anymore.

[A]

40% of government buildings have asbestos.

[C]

Right? They're like. So I just sometimes flick its little foot, like underneath its foot. You go like this.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it pisses them off.

[A]

Sure pisses me off just hearing about it.

[C]

I know it's all about pissing the babies off, getting them that good cry. But we have such a great team at our hospital. Our nurses are so great bedside. So I'm very lucky. And I do really love my job.

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, you can sneak one under your partner's pillow as a way of saying, I'm thinking of you.

[B]

Oh, that's.

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That's nice. So nice. Yeah. If I did that, my wife would be like, hey, this is nice.

[C]

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[A]

You do love me after all.

[B]

Yeah.

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It's a mini. That can bring some big can vibes. It really can.

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Sure.

[A]

Coca Cola mini can, big deal. Now available on the go. What kinds of things could you teach me? You're very hyper aware of the female body, and there are probably things, believe it or not, that even I wouldn't be aware of.

[B]

What?

[A]

You know what I mean? And maybe this is a good. This is a good chance for me to know some things. If you can impart to me any wisdom.

[C]

Well, I think knowing anatomy is really important. Erogenous zones. What are those things that could. Right. Well, man, we got to really start from the beginning. Yeah. Just. I think a big thing that sometimes men don't know is that women have more than two holes. They have three holes. So that's always interesting.

[A]

What are we talking about here? What are you talking about? Wait, what?

[C]

Right. Yeah.

[A]

No, he's more specific because I honestly, suddenly, it's a bowling ball. What do we.

[C]

Yes. You urinate through one bowl, right?

[A]

Huh?

[C]

Urinate.

[A]

Urinate.

[C]

Yeah. Pee pees.

[A]

Pee pees. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Pee pees, poopoos.

[A]

Yes, of course.

[C]

Right. And then baby come out of the vagina.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So that's three.

[B]

He's scared of the word vagina, but

[C]

it's the urethra, the anus. Anus. Right. Sona. We're gonna use our doctor words.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I said pee pee and poo poo.

[A]

So tell me about your medical school.

[C]

Right? How did that even happen?

[A]

So, sure. You went to poo Poo Poo Poo you. So, okay, so the erogenous zones. You could help. Any man know about the erogenous zones?

[C]

Yeah. Or the clitoris is. I feel like that's really.

[A]

Like there's a clitoris.

[C]

Listen, there's a book you should read.

[A]

As far as I'm concerned, That's. That's Sasquatch. You hear a lot of talk, but I've seen no evidence. Here's a blurry photo of a clitoris. Yeah, I've seen that photo. Look, if you're gonna be talking bullshit on this thing, I am a clitoris Denier. I know.

[C]

We have enough misinformation online. We can't. We have flat ear now we have clitoris deniers.

[A]

I love a guy having. He's got a blurry photo from 1938 of a clitoris running between two trees. See it right there? Yeah. I don't know. This was taken by a Scottish hiker. Wow. Okay. Well, yeah.

[B]

Clitoris tonight.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

I could teach you how to do a circumcision.

[A]

Oh, okay. Hey, how do you do those? I'm curious. I mean, how do you. How does one. What's the tool that's used for circumcision? I've been to. I have been to many brises, and I've many, many Jewish friends, and I've been to Bris's, but you can't really see what's going on. And I've tried to fight for a good look, and they say that's inappropriate. I've been shoved by rabbis because it's weird when a guy is saying, hey, I want to see that. People get freaked out. You know? Yeah. Hey, let me in there. Oh, my God, I gotta see that kid's dick. People get freaked out. I don't know why, so. And I know that now. I can see why that's an issue. But what is the tool that's used?

[C]

So different people use different tools. I like to use something called a Mogen. So it looks like a cigar cutter. And you just pull up the foreskin and you go across, and then you clamp it down, and then you lop it off with a scalpel.

[A]

And does the kid cry a lot after that?

[C]

So. No, we actually do dorsal nerve blocks. I'm injecting lidocaine. They get a sugar pacifier. We play music. It's like a spa experience.

[A]

So it's not traumatic for the kid.

[C]

I mean, it might be. They can't tell me. But we try not to make it.

[A]

Hey, how convenient for you.

[C]

Honestly, they're the best patients.

[A]

Yeah, the. That's interesting. So you do the old chop on the. On the foreskin.

[C]

Then we have the calamari piece.

[A]

Yeah, I love this.

[C]

Yes. You love that. That's your joke.

[A]

That's my favorite joke to do at Bris's is to say, hey, man, that calamari was really good because they always have a meal afterwards. They always serve food at a bris. And I always say, I love the calamari. And then the person goes, we don't have calamari. And I go, oh, now that joke works because he ate the foreskin thinking it was calamari. Right?

[C]

Do you get it? Yes. Yeah, Yeah, I got it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm glad you love that joke.

[C]

Favorite thing to do, though. I don't love to do circumcisions. You know, who would.

[A]

If anyone said that's my favorite thing to do, that's the red flag right there. You know what I mean?

[C]

If someone is. And I try to avoid penises doing what I do, and then they're like, oh, you have to do surgery on the smallest penis. You know, so that's a little weird.

[A]

I don't remember booking an appointment with you. Oh, my God. Home run.

[B]

Home run for you. Just. Just a deep. Well, you are so happy.

[A]

So let's. Let's do the chart on this conversation. I'm the guy with the smallest penis in the world who insists on checking out a kid's dick at a bris and doesn't believe there's a clitoris.

[C]

Right? That's gonna go on your tombstone.

[A]

Y. This is. I lay out comedically. No one lays out more awful information about themselves than I do. I don't know why that delights me, but, you know, I will say, on the serious side, that is what an incredible job to have. Because I do think in the modern world, we get removed from. We get removed from birth and death. We've anesthetize ourselves to it, and so it's amazing to just. To be around so much new life would be, I think, very affirming. Right? Be pretty amazing.

[C]

And it just keeps going. You know, during COVID we were delivering babies nonstop. That does not stop. So even though we felt like the world was ending, you saw that it doesn't. It just keeps going. Life is just going to keep rolling along. And it really, really grounded me and helped me to see that there's so many beautiful things happening every day. Even though it felt like the world was ending, you guys were a huge part of what got us through Covid, too. Just listening to your podcast was so important. Kept us laughing, kept us going. And now that we're through that, I definitely have a deeper relationship and understanding with my patients. And I love what I do. I love. I really do love my patients. I get to practice where I grew up, so I feel connected to my community, and I'm very lucky.

[B]

That's cool.

[A]

I think it's great. I love that you were this teenager coming by, checking out our goofy tapings, and now I'm talking to you all these years later, and you're just. You're a very impressive person, Jessica. Really, seriously, and very, very cool to talk to you. And I love talking to People that. That have these jobs that are just so impressive.

[B]

Yeah. As a woman, the relationship we have with our obs is such an important relationship. To be able to say whatever we need to say about our bodies. It's awesome. I mean, I love my ob. She. You know, it's. It's awesome. I'm not crying. My voice is doing something weird.

[A]

So you do. So you. You're saying you don't have that relationship with me? You don't feel like you could tell me anything about your body?

[B]

Absolutely. Do you want to hear about perimenopause?

[A]

I do not.

[B]

And all the symptoms that I'm having.

[A]

I don't want to hear about any of it.

[B]

See that? This is the problem. You don't want to hear about V. The word vagina scares you.

[A]

I don't want to. We're not doing this right now. To quote my father, we're not talking about that right now.

[C]

Not right now.

[A]

He would say that about anytime anything came up that he didn't want to deal with him. Like, we're not talking about that right now. Oh, I guess we're not ever. Well, Jessica, really lovely to talking to you and I hope we.

[C]

This was a dream come true. You guys are all awesome.

[A]

I hope we cross paths in person. That'd be really cool. And then we can hear more about this fabled clitoris.

[C]

I can draw you a picture.

[A]

Yeah, might as well draw a unicorn as far as I'm concerned.

[C]

Thank you for your time.

[A]

I'm an idiot. Thank you, Jessica. Bye.

[C]

My dream. Have a great one.

[D]

Conan o' Brien needs a fan. With Conan o', Brien, Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley produced by me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer Aaron Blair Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm Engineering by eduardo Perez. Get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail] Conan Please rate, review and subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a fan. Wherever fine podcasts are downloaded,

[A]

This episode of Conan O' Brien Needs a Friend is brought to you by six all new McCafe drinks at McDonald's. You're a McDonald's lover, Sona.

[B]

I love that. I love my Mickey D's, boo.

[A]

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Sure.

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Me. It's a good one.

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[B]

Okay.

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