Oh Walt Whitman!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend

Episode: "Oh Walt Whitman!"

Date: June 4, 2026
Host: Conan O’Brien
Guests: Sona Movsesian, Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)

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Overview

In this engaging episode of "Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend," Conan and Sona welcome Brooke, an intimacy coordinator from Queens, New York. The conversation centers around the rise and importance of intimacy coordinators in film and television, the realities and technicalities of staging intimate scenes, and humorous digressions about the awkwardness and logistics involved. There’s a blend of laughter, honest insight, and thoughtful discussion about consent, actor well-being, and the evolution of Hollywood standards around intimacy.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Role & Rise of Intimacy Coordination

• Origins and Necessity:
  • Brooke explains that the role emerged from the #MeToo movement, as industry awareness of on-set abuses led to demands for advocates who ensure actors’ comfort and consent, particularly during intimate scenes.

    “[The job] came out of the MeToo movement… producers started being willing to pay for someone to be there, both for guaranteeing that actors can consent to what’s being asked of them.” – Brooke (02:50)

• Artistic Value:
  • Beyond safety, intimacy coordination is about making scenes “more believable, authentic, compelling, absurd, whatever the need of that project is” (03:22).

2. Becoming an Intimacy Coordinator

• Personal Journey:
  • Brooke shares her path: starting as an actor in emotionally intense roles, developing techniques for emotional recovery ("warm downs"), and the drive to represent queer stories authentically.
  • She educated herself extensively (reading, podcasts, classes on queer sex and storytelling), which positioned her well as the field emerged.

    “I took a year, and every day for a year, I read something or listened to a podcast… all on queer sex and storytelling, BDSM and kink.” – Brooke (04:38)

• Training & Qualifications:
  • There is no formal license, but organizations like SAG-AFTRA provide guidelines and require training hours and set experience to be on their registry (07:26).

    “There isn’t any licensing… SAG-AFTRA came out with guidelines… certification or a diploma, but really… you should be trained in a number of things.” – Brooke (07:26)

3. Techniques and Realities on Set

• Barriers & Modesty Garments:
  • Brooke showcases a modesty garment designed for external genitalia and explains its function (prevents direct contact, blocks sensation, collects fluids).

    “This is a modesty garment with a barrier… made by Covier in New York. Basically, you would put all… everything in here and pull it tight.” – Brooke (09:17)

• Awkwardness & Humor:
  • Conan’s classic comedic curiosity emerges as he jokes about the size and utility of the barriers (“What do you do with all the extra room? Is that for cash and credit cards too?” – Conan, 09:55).
  • They discuss how clinical and technical sex scenes feel—“the least sexy thing you’ll ever do” (09:17, Brooke).

4. Debunking Myths about Sex Scenes

• Inaccuracies in Media:
  • Brooke notes two persistent myths: instant, simultaneous orgasms and the “missing” awkwardness of actual intercourse (“it takes some effort for the penis to find a vagina, for example” – 11:34).
  • Conan riffs on this with characteristic absurdity about confusion, distractions, and fumbling (12:24).

5. Choreography and Tools

• Explaining Intimate Choreography:
  • Brooke uses words, diagrams, and even action figures to demonstrate positions and scene logistics (18:42-19:26).

    “Sometimes I just use my words… sometimes I use images. Sometimes I use action figures.” – Brooke (18:54)

• Demonstration Moment:
  • Brooke describes staging a complex threesome scene with action figures, prompting Conan to compare it to an “Escher drawing” or Dali painting (“That’s a Dali painting. There’s a melting clock in the corner.” – Conan, 20:04).

6. Professional Boundaries, Consent & Actor Support

• Why ICs Matter:
  • Brooke explains that ICs create space for actors to voice boundaries and to focus on acting rather than confusion or discomfort. The role acts as an intermediary—separate from someone who could fire them—boosting comfort and safety.

    “You need to be talking to you, Brooke… you’re there telling them, I’m on your side…” – Conan (25:10)

• Choreography Prevents Oversharing:
  • With choreography, actors don’t have to bring personal experiences or reactions to their work (Brooke, 23:53).
• Closure Practices:
  • Brooke stresses the importance of “closure” rituals so actors can “return” to themselves post-scene, separating character feelings from real ones (27:05).

7. On-Set Dynamics & Relationships

• Real Connections:
  • Conan inquires if actors ever develop real-life feelings during scenes. Brooke admits it “happens quite frequently” due to physical proximity, and outlines how choreography helps prevent blurring between character and actor boundaries (27:05).

8. Memorable Laughs & Moments

• Conan’s Climax “Walt Whitman!” (23:00-24:02):
  • Conan imagines himself in a sex scene, reaching climax and shouting “Walt Whitman!” as his orgasmic cry, cementing one of the episode’s funniest, most bizarre bits:

    “What if when I reach my climax, I shout the name of one of our great poets, Walt Whitman?” – Conan (23:25)

• Barriers as Catch-Alls:
  • Repeated jokes about the size and potential uses for modesty barriers: storing money, snacks, or even “an alarm clock… a 64-ounce bottle of Dr. Pepper” (28:13-28:28).

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Notable Quotes

• On the Reason for the Profession:

  “The position came out of the MeToo movement... guaranteeing that actors can consent in a private setting.” – Brooke (02:50)

• On the Myths of Instant Orgasms in Media:

  “A very fast orgasm… we started touching and now we’re all orgasming together at the same time.” – Brooke (11:34)

• On Tools of the Trade:

  “This is a modesty garment with a barrier… you’d put everything in here and then pull it tight, then it’s taped below the belly button.” – Brooke (09:17)

• On Conan’s Signature Intimate Sound:

  “What if when I reach my climax, I shout the name of one of our great poets, Walt Whitman?” – Conan (23:25)

• On Action Figures as Choreographic Aids:

  “Sometimes I just use my words… sometimes I use action figures.” – Brooke (18:54)

• On Real-World Relationship Risks:

  “It happens quite frequently because our bodies respond to physical touch, to eye contact, to breath… that’s part of why closure practices are helpful.” – Brooke (27:05)

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Important Timestamps

• [02:50] – Emergence of intimacy coordination after #MeToo
• [04:38] – Brooke’s self-education and background
• [07:26] – Certification and safeguarding against “creeps”
• [09:17] – Demonstration/explanation of modesty barriers
• [11:34] – Myths about sex scenes in media
• [18:54] – Using action figures to choreograph scenes
• [23:25] – Conan's "Walt Whitman!" bit
• [25:10] – The importance of the intimacy coordinator on set
• [27:05] – Relationship formation and closure rituals

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Tone & Energy

The episode is witty, candid, and highly informative, with Conan’s curiosity sparking both outrageous humor and earnest discussion. Brooke matches the lighthearted energy while offering expert insight into her sensitive and significant role in modern filmmaking.

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Takeaways

This conversation highlights the blend of care, nuance, and craft involved in intimacy coordination—a once-overlooked, now-indispensable part of filmmaking. By demystifying both awkward realities and technical practices, Brooke and the team illuminate how safety and artistry go hand in hand. The episode also manages to make a serious subject feel playful, relatable, and, above all, human.

Transcript

[Conan O'Brien]

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[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Yeah, like all the time.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I did that with an all potato restaurant.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Oh, no.

[Conan O'Brien]

Marketers know that feeling. They optimize for the numbers that look great, like impressions, but then they don't see revenue. You know what I'm talking about?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Oh, yeah, all the time.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. LinkedIn has a word for that. Bullspin.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Bull spin.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Instead, you can get the highest roas of major ad networks with LinkedIn ads. Cut the bull spin. Advertise on LinkedIn, spend $250 and get a $250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.com Conan terms apply.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Conan O' Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com call Conan. Okay, let's get started.

[Sona]

Hey, Brooke. Welcome to Conan o' Brien needs a fan.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Hey, how's it going?

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, Brooke. How are you?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

I'm great. How are you?

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm doing all right. Where? I don't see where you are in the world. Where are you?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

I'm in New York currently in Queens.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're in Queens? Oh, terrific. Uh, and all I know about you, it says here, and this is fascinating to me, is that you are an intimacy coordinator. Is that correct?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Yeah, that's correct. It's the best job in the world.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Yeah, it is. Uh, well, I. Okay, Sona. Sona, why don't you tell us?

[Sona]

So excited.

[Conan O'Brien]

Clearly, Sona's the one that has thoughts about this. Um, this is. I mean, this job is endlessly fascinating to me, and I would think it's become more and more necessary as sex scenes. If you think about, you know, back in the day, it was a kiss, and then the camera would drift over to an open window and some billowing curtains and then pan back over and people were smoking cigarettes and the covers are pulled up to their chins. So obviously, as sex scenes become more graphic and realistic, you need people there to make sure that everything's copacetic. Is that correct?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Yeah, I think the position came out of the MeToo movement, where all of a sudden, the awareness of some of the abuses in Hollywood became very apparent. And as a result, producers started being willing to pay for someone to be there, both for guaranteeing that actors can consent to what's being asked of them in a private setting with someone who's not in charge of hiring or firing them.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, right, right.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

And then also exactly what you're saying. The artistic side of it, which is the fun part, is making the scenes more believable, authentic, compelling, absurd, whatever the need of that project is.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, I mean, I'm curious, first of all, how did you become. How does one become an intimacy coordinator?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Yeah, well, nowadays there's schools you can go to. But I started back in 2016. I was an actor for a bunch of years, and I tended to get cast in roles that involved intimacy or trauma. And I realized that I'd taken years and years of study. I have my MFA and performance, and all of my teachers taught me how to get to the place of grief or fear or terror, but not how to get back from it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Got it.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

And I had a summer that I was doing three shows in a row, three theater shows, where I cried for four months, basically in every show. And I was like, I need a way to come back to who I am. That's healthy. So I started creating a warm down for actors, and theaters, started bringing me in to teach it. And then I'm queer. I came out late in life, and when I came out, I realized right away I wanted to tell queer stories because I hadn't come out earlier because I hadn't seen representation of bisexuality. So I wanted to tell those stories. But I realized I had a straight lens. And so I took a year, and every day for a year, I read something or listened to a podcast or watched a show or took a class all on queer sex and storytelling, BDSM and kink. And then theaters started bringing me into staged that bondage scene. And then one day, a theater said, hey, will you be our intimacy director again? And I was like, dear Google, what is an intimacy director? And right about that time, it was being named and people were paying for it. And I realized that this thing that I was doing that involved boundaries and consent, choreography and closure, which is the warm down section there was now a field. And so I kind of had that. You know when people say that luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Opportunity, Yeah. I mean, that was my journey, and it was awesome. And then when the pandemic hit, I switched to film and TV film first. And then I got to do my first TV scene on June 1, the first day of Pride on Harlem. And it was a queer scene, and that was pretty awesome, and I was hooked.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, well, good. I mean, first of all, congratulations on. I'm very happy when people find it takes a long time sometimes. You know, it can take all different amounts of time, but it can take a very long time to find sort of your calling. You know, what you feel like you were put here to do. And it sounds like you. It didn't happen overnight, but you found it, and that's gotta be incredibly rewarding. I have to say one thing is that I could see a lot of charlatans getting into the business and saying, yeah, I'm an intimacy coordinator, but they're not. Are there ways that you can say, I'm licensed? Is there a license you can get? Is there any way that they can patrol it so that creeps like me don't become intimacy coordinators? That's what I'm saying.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

You're like, do it, guys.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Hey, you guys, why don't you do it and I'll watch Conan? Why are we doing this at a campground? Quiet. This is my method, you know, this isn't even in the scene.

[Sona]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Why are you taping this with an old Super. Super 8 camera? So, yeah, that's what I'm saying is, you know, we need to stop people like me from becoming Intimacy Coordinator. How are you doing that?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

I'm really glad you brought it up, because I am here specifically to stop you from doing that. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. Oh, okay. All right. Well, just try.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

There isn't any licensing. There are schools that offer certification or accreditation or a diploma, but really the marker, in my opinion, is SAG AFTRA came out with guidelines for intimacy coordinators, which is a number of things you should be trained in. It adds up to a minimum, I think, of 75 hours. And then in order to be on the SAG AFTRA registry, you have to have worked on a SAG set for at least 60 days. So if a producer's really looking for someone who's super qualified, then that's one way to tell. But I also think asking someone about their process is really useful because not every IC is great for every project. And I'm a big believer that you need the right IC for your project.

[Conan O'Brien]

What is. I mean, I want to get into some of this because there's so much I don't understand, but are there devices or kinds of garments that people wear? Because you can't really have people, you know, touch. Touching each other, certain parts. Right. So what's. What. What is the barrier to that? What is. Because I've always heard that there are these things and you hear about it and you're like, I don't know what they're talking about.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Yeah, you're exactly right. It's called a barrier.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

And if it's a SAG Aftra film, there can be no actual sex acts. So a barrier can look a number of ways. It could look like this. Oh, yes. This is.

[Conan O'Brien]

That is the least sexy thing I've ever seen. Sona went, oh, yes. And you're basically holding up what looks like a giant eye patch. And so I was like, oh, yeah.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

I'm glad she has props in visuals. Visuals.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Oh, okay. So what is that? That's a barrier.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

So you're correct that sometimes filming these scenes is the least sexy thing you'll ever do. This is a modesty garment with a barrier. It's made by Covier in New York. And basically this is for someone with external genitalia. Some might call that a penis. And basically you would put all. Everything in here and then you would pull it tight, and then it's taped to the top of, like, right below your belly button. And inside is a barrier. And a barrier is meant to reduce sensation and prevent the transmission of fluids.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, a couple of things here. First of all, that thing seems huge. What do you do with all the extra room? Is that for cash and credit cards too?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Absolutely.

[Conan O'Brien]

Cell phone. I'm just looking at that, thinking. Thinking, like, there's a lot of extra room, you know, I don't know what kind of freaks you're working with, but I'm keeping a book in there. But, Brooke. Okay, Fluids. Yeah, we have to talk about this. Is this something. And I'm asking if you're listening right now, and there are children in the car, you know, what are you doing? But do people get themselves in a state while they're acting where there could be various secretions?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Honestly, not very often, if at all.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

If someone were to get aroused, for example, there are lots of things you can do to let that go.

[Conan O'Brien]

Just think about baseball. That's what I do. Just think about 1975 Red Sox, and it all goes away. Oh, wait, no. It comes back with a vengeance. Start thinking about Dwight Evans. That's a good looking man over there in right field. Anyway, so it doesn't happen that often. What is. Oh, my God. What is the thing that's depicted in most sex Scenes that you see, that's the most inaccurate. Do you know what I mean? Something where you're like, they always do this in scenes, and it's not how it really works.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Well, two things, actually. I would say. One, a very fast orgasm where it's like we started touching and now we're all orgasming together at the same time. But the other, I would say, is we often don't see the moment of, like, insertion where, you know, like, all of a sudden they're just having sex. But in real life, it takes some effort for the penis to find a vagina, for example.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you mean the actual moment of coordinating this part goes into this part and it takes a second, right?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Yeah. And I think. Cause we're not actually doing it, people forget that there needs to be that moment of reaction of like, oh, something new has happened, whether it's a breath or a slight shift or something.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. Well, first of all, thank you for getting the word out there that sometimes there can be some fumbling, some. Some confusion about what goes where. You know, it's. Well, no, hold on a second. Maybe one knows the whole. But it's dark. You're getting yelled at. Do you know what I mean?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

You're getting yelled at.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. What are you doing? You've never got. How can. So many years and you didn't get better. That kind of thing. Oftentimes you're trying to eat a sandwich with one hand, you know, because you didn't get a chance to eat after the podcast. I'm speaking very generally.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Absolutely.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, you've got. You're looking. You're trying to watch, you know, television at the same time, yourself on television. Well, old clips of yourself. Not current clips, but old clips of the TBS show and before that, the NBC show.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Oh, okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, Father's Day is coming up. Hint, hint. June 21st. Wow.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

We're not your children.

[Conan O'Brien]

What? My children are not getting me anything. So it's up to you guys to get me Father's Day. They have never bought into Father's Day, but you guys are going to. You're my employees, and you have to. Well, guess what? Luckily, Macy's has a wide range of options. The expertise to help you find the perfect gift. Macy's is the answer for Father's Day, David.

[Sona]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

As my sort of surrogate son.

[Sona]

Okay. Aw, that's nice.

[Conan O'Brien]

The son that I hired to buy me things.

[Sona]

Exactly.

[Conan O'Brien]

I hope that you're prepared for this Father's Day, and I hope you've consulted Macy's.

[Sona]

Oh, I Sure. I have done both of those things first.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Oh, there you go. You love a pun.

[Sona]

We got you a shirt that says the Grill Father.

[Conan O'Brien]

I love that shirt because you know what? I love the Godfather movies and I love grilling. And they've combined them with the Grill father.

[Sona]

And are you ready to combine it even more?

[Conan O'Brien]

Let's use this gift.

[Sona]

Ooh, a ninja indoor grill.

[Conan O'Brien]

That looks really good.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

It does.

[Sona]

And then, you know, sometimes when you're grilling, you know, you might want to get rid of that. That scent, that smell. So we got you some Dior cologne.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, is that Sauvage?

[Sona]

It's Sauvage.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God. I love Sauvage. And I love that it does mask the scent of charred meat really well. Yeah.

[Sona]

So happy Father's Day from us and Macy's.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what I want to say thank you. Those are cool gifts. I love it. Check out Macy's online gift guide for more ideas@macy's.com giftguide. Getting a good deal is kind of a big deal. Would you agree, Sona?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Such a big deal.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. So get this. Prime day is coming June 23rd through the 26th with all the best deals you've been waiting for. Prime Day delivers more than great prices. Delivers the big deal feeling. Upgrade that old mattress. Sona, your mattress, I hear, just is terrible. Get a new one.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

It's vintage.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's not good. Vintage milk and vintage mattresses aren't the way to go. Okay, score a new great pair of noise canceling headphones. Snag that garden gnome of your lawn decor dreams. Whatever you've had your eye on, you can get it for a great deal. Shop Prime Day, June 23rd to the 26th. Big news. Sona.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Yeah?

[Conan O'Brien]

Did you know T Mobile recently partnered with the National Park Foundation?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

No way.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yep. They' easier to stay connected, so you're free to wander.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Well, that's really cool.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I love a national park. I really do.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

I do, too.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now, there's one thing you have to have if you're doing that good signal. It's a priority. You know what I mean? You got your maps, your music, this podcast. Yeah, so take America's best network, plus their off grid satellite coverage with you. Look, we're all a little spoiled, but we like to have access to all our stuff. And suddenly you don't have it because of a bad single. That's when I throw my phone into the Grand Canyon.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Oh, okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Literally filled half the Grand Canyon with phones. Then I got T Mobile. Never had to chuck them again, you know, good. So wander over to T mobile.com and switch best Based on analysis by OOKLA of speed test intelligence data for 2H 2025. Wow, that's some sentence. T satellite with cable device in most outdoor areas in US where you see the sky, that's important. You gotta see the sky.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Yep.

[Conan O'Brien]

Service may be limited or unavailable. Included with experience beyond or $10 per month auto renews cancel anytime. That was probably meant to be said by a robot really quickly, but I just did it slowly so you could really understand. Please do not throw your phone into the Grand Canyon. The Disney Hulu HBO Max Bundle. The best in entertainment in one bundle this month streamed Pixar's blockbuster family hit Hoppers on Disney, the hit horror comedy Send Help on Hulu, and season three of the HBO original series House of the Dragon on HBO Max. Get the Disney Hulu HBO Max Bundle today. All of these and more streaming soon available with Disney Hulu Max bundle plan starting at $19.99 a month. Terms apply. Visit DisneyPlus Hulu Max bundle.com for details.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

So much of intimacy is about reaction. So if we don't have those moments of reaction, we lose it. And so much of us get our education from media, our sexual education. And so when we show these things that are impossible, and of course we can dramatize things, but we're doing a disservice to folks.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, people now watch these things and they think, oh, you know, it's easy to do it standing up in the kitchen. Do you know what I mean? And it's. I'm telling you, it's not. It's not easy. Especially if the fridge is open, it's cold. You know what I mean? And then you try to incorporate cake batter that's nearby. Well. Cause you see it and you think, this will be a good idea. And then you get yelled at again.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

I need to throw up.

[Conan O'Brien]

So gross.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Cake batter, come on. I can't. I gotta go.

[Conan O'Brien]

Where are you going? You got nowhere to go. What do you use? Do you use drawings, charts? What do you do to try and instruct people when you're explaining how the sex scene should work?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Kinds of things. Sometimes I just use my words. Like sometimes I do use images. Sometimes I use action figures.

[Conan O'Brien]

I use action figures.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

See, we've got. We've got a little.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wait a minute. What's happening there? I need to try and figure out what's happening.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

So this gentleman on the bottom is laying down, enjoying himself.

[Conan O'Brien]

Couldn't tell what the sex was of that person. Because it looks like a Lego.

[Sona]

Yeah.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

This gentleman is up, one knee on the ground, one foot up, and he's pleasuring this guy. And if we wanted to turn it into a threesome, right. We could just add her.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

She's underneath him, onto his leg, and she's fisting. Wait.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, she's fisting.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Yeah, she's gonna fist this guy.

[Conan O'Brien]

She's pushing her. Okay. So. All right, there's. That is two males and one. Right? What. Describe what's happening here, because some people are just listening. They can't see. You've got to check out the video, by the way, and it's on YouTube. You've got to see it. It's incredible.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

But, yeah, this is a. This. This would be a kind of particularly difficult scene to just talk through.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I mean, try to. Try to explain that.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

That's a. Yeah, so I have actual.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's an Escher drawing. You don't know. The stairs are turning into more. Stairs are turning into more. I mean, it's a very confusing. That's a Dali painting. There's a melting clock in the corner. So. Yeah, okay, I see what's happening. That's not a situation that probably comes along every day, you know?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

No, not that one specifically. Yeah, probably not.

[Conan O'Brien]

And what movie was that for? Is that Toy Story 5? What is that?

[Sona]

Oh, no, you just got fired from it.

[Conan O'Brien]

They're now editing me out of Toy Story 5 as we speak. Don't worry, it's a $100 million fix at the last second. Pixar has the money. So you have those figurines ready to go. I mean, it's not like you have to improvise with a GI Joe and a Thor and an Iron man, right?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

No, I have a whole kit of stuff I bring to set.

[Conan O'Brien]

I bet you do.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

The barriers. You saw these guys? I use this for a barrier sometimes.

[Conan O'Brien]

What is that? That looks like a turkey.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

This is just a squishmallow. But somet if someone's having a rough day, it's a little bit hilarious if I just put this between the two people. Because you can't have a bad day when you've got a squishmallow near you.

[Conan O'Brien]

So I think I'm aware that I'm not an actor every time, a true actor, every time I see a sex scene, and I think, I don't know how these people do this, you know, because there's 75 people around them, and I just can't imagine how they do it. Orgasming. You Know, pretending to orgasm. It's just, you know. And then there's a sound guy, you know, two inches away from you, who just had a liverwurst sandwich and. You know what I mean? Or a cha. Tobacco. And it's insane.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Absolutely. I mean, this is why we don't get aroused very often. Cause there's all these people around. But you could do it if you wanted to, Conan, because it's actually so technical. Like, I worked with an actor recently on an orgasm, and we choreographed it. We, like, voiceographied it with what the breaths were going to be, what the vocal sounds were going to be, so that she didn't have to make any of it up. It was ready to go. Anyone can do it if they want to do it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, but here's my question. Do people ever. Cause sometimes they're drawing from personal experience. So when an actor is pretending to orgasm, they're really telling you often what they sound like or the sounds they make, which is very personal. Right. Isn't that kind of strange? Has anyone ever revealed their sounds to you and you're like, oh, boy. Do you know what I mean? Well, someone comes in.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

That's why this position. Go ahead.

[Conan O'Brien]

But I'm just saying. I'm gonna take this a little further.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Oh, no.

[Conan O'Brien]

Let's say you were working with me and I was in a movie where it's required that I have sex. Okay. And there's a scene, and you say, okay, Conan. And I'll say, well, let me just freestyle the first one. And we've got the little squishy between me and the. In my. You know, the actress. Yeah, Squisha, Squisha, squisha. And I'm there, and I'm going. You hear me freestyle? And I'm going, Walt Whitman. You know, and you realize that, oh, Jesus Christ, those are the sounds Conan makes. And then when he reaches his climax, he shouts the name of one of our great poets, Walt Whitman. I mean, I've just revealed to you, and I think I just did right now, to everybody listening, what my jam is. That's my jam.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

I think that's one of the reasons that it's so important to have an intimacy coordinator, because actors should not have to bring their personal experience to set.

[Sona]

Breca's good at her job.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

I know.

[Conan O'Brien]

So you're saying you would prevent me from using my true noises and my certain peccadilloes in a scene?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

I would give you the opportunity to do something that the character would do rather than what you're suggesting.

[Conan O'Brien]

But what if the character's name is Cronin o' Ryan and he's a tall Irish guy from Boston, you know what?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

You go for it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. Yeah, I just. I think it's endlessly fascinating. And I bet you they're always coming up with new technology. They're gonna keep coming up with new things. Like, here's a spray that the guy can put on his penis that encases it in a inert goof that will, you know, keep his penis from becoming aroused. You know, they'll come up with all kinds of crazy new stuff, you know? I know they will.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

I don't think they have.

[Conan O'Brien]

I want this spray. Come on, science. Hey, NASA, let's get on it.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

That's what we need. Is NASA in the intimacy coordinator. I think we could make a partnership here.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm just saying, I do think all foolishness aside, which is a lot of foolishness aside, but it's really good that you're there doing this. And it's stunning to me that it took so long for people to realize that we need someone on set to make sure that the actor is taken care of and has an advocate in the moment. And when you said, I mean, things that should be so obvious, but you can't be talking to the director or the producer who can have you fired. You need to be talking to you, Brooke. You're there telling them, I'm on your side, and let's make this work for you. So that's huge. That's a great service you're providing.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Yeah. And I find that actors, if they're given all the information, they're ready to go for it. Most often there's not an issue. But often in the past, actors weren't given the information in advance and things weren't choreographed. So it was just like, go for it. And then you are bringing your personal experience, because that's what you know. Whereas now we can say, oh, you've got a boundary about blank. Great. Let's talk through the story. Let's bring the director three other options that will work with your boundaries and that works with the story and see how we can all make this work in a way that works for everyone, so that on the day the actor isn't worried about the intimacy, they're able to really dig in to the acting and give it their all.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you. Have you ever seen a couple kind of start to form a relationship when they're, you know, there's. They clearly have feelings for each other, or you see, like, oh, this isn't Just acting. Have you ever seen. Seen that?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Yeah. Honestly, it happens quite frequently because our bodies respond to physical touch, to eye contact, to breath. So our bodies can tell us we're actually attracted to someone even when we're not. And that's part of why closure practices are helpful. To differentiate between when I am the character and when I am myself. And if it's theater we're talking about and two actors start to become involved, it's really important that the choreography doesn't grow with the actor's relationship because that then isn't telling the character's story anymore. So a stage manager, for example, is in charge of keeping that choreography really precise so that it doesn't change, because that's just not professional.

[Conan O'Brien]

I could just see that happening all the time, though. People. And it does. People are on a movie together, they fall in love or, you know, they start a relationship because they have been kissing each other and rolling around rubbing each other. What'd you say?

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

They're rubbing each other?

[Conan O'Brien]

No, but they're wearing their barriers. Yeah, but, you know, and the barriers have all that extra room. So they have tic tacs in there. An alarm clock.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

An alarm clock?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, the one they got from their great grandfather. Just saying, that barrier had a lot extra room.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

They can be sized.

[Conan O'Brien]

There's a 64 ounce bottle of Dr. Pepper.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

What's that size them.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, good God. Thank you. Yeah, you know, I just don't like to waste material. Brooke. Fascinating what you do. It really is. It really is fascinating. And I'm happy for you that you realize this talent and you're helping people and it's a very. It's great. It's really great.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Thanks.

[Conan O'Brien]

You will never see me on a set having an intimate scene. That's. I will. I will always be the weirdo in the other room in any sex scene who peers in occasionally. That'll be my role. So you can teach me how to peer. Brooke, thank you so much for everything and take care and I'll see you on set.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Yeah, thanks for having me. I appreciate it. Anytime people talk about IC work, it gets more normalized. So I really appreciate you normalized.

[Conan O'Brien]

What about me going Walt Whitman normalized? Brooke, you called the wrong place. Thanks, Brooke.

[Sona]

Bye.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

See you.

[Matt Gourley]

Conan o' Brien needs a fan. With Conan o', Brien, Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley produced by me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer, Aaron Blair Associate talent Producer, Jennifer samples Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm Engineering by eduardo Perez get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail] Conan Please rate, review and subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a Fan. Wherever fine podcasts are downloaded,

[Conan O'Brien]

This episode of Conan O' Brien Needs a Friend is brought to you by six all new McCafe drinks at McDonald's. You're a McDonald's lover, Sona. I love that.

[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

I love my Mickey D's, boo.

[Conan O'Brien]

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[Brooke (Intimacy Coordinator)]

Yeah baby.

[Conan O'Brien]

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