Patton Oswalt Returns Again

Summary

Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend: Patton Oswalt Returns Again

Release Date: June 8, 2026
Host: Conan O’Brien
Guests: Patton Oswalt, Sona Movsesian, Matt Gourley

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Episode Overview

In this lively and digressive reunion, comedian Patton Oswalt returns to Conan’s studio, marking his 44th TV appearance and fourth podcast visit. The episode brims with comedic camaraderie, deep dives into old TV and showbiz oddities, and reflections on the bizarre modern world of entertainment. Patton promotes his new stand-up special "Tea and Scotch," but the bulk of the conversation sprawls through personal anecdotes, 20th-century pop culture, and an honest discussion about comedy, change, and embracing the unknown.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Revisiting "The Little Bitch" Incident

[01:13–09:12]

• The team recaps a memorable in-office roast: Sona previously claimed she could never call Conan a “little bitch,” only for social media guru Sam Curry to provide audio proof she’d done so (twice!) while trash-talking Conan during a cornhole game, after some summer cocktails.
  • “You call me a little bitch twice. And that’s one of 700 awful things you said to me as we’re playing cornhole.” – Conan [05:01]
• The segment turns into a playful group roast, dissecting the joys and dangers of competitive friendships, professional boundaries, and “liquid courage.”
• Memorable Quote:
  • “I know I get competitive, and I know we were competing, and I’m even more competitive when I’m competing against you.” – Sona [06:01]
  • “I’m a little bitch. That’s the big reveal from my doctor.” – Conan, tongue-in-cheek [08:06]

2. The Modern Promotional "Death March"

[10:21–17:00]

• Patton describes the exhausting variety of modern press stunts — from goat yoga to finger-painting interviews — now required to push a new release (“it is stunts lined up all day…” [12:57]).
  • Conan and Patton riff on the surreal nature of contemporary media tours:
    • “Dame Judi Dench has to be lowered into a giant toilet filled with hot caramel, and the person asks her questions about her career.” – Conan [14:22]
• They reminisce about the simpler press circuit days and commiserate over being “the last stop” for celebrities.
• Memorable Quote:
  • “People said to me, oh my God... this is the last stop. And they would say that without any sense that it’s insulting.” – Conan [12:16]

3. Late Night, Viral Clips, and Lost TV Intimacy

[19:31–21:49]

• Patton observes that late night TV is now fueled by hopes for viral moments, with full shows largely unwatched:
  • “No one’s actually watching this show. We hope one of our clips goes viral tomorrow. That’s where the promo happens.” – Patton [19:31]
• They long for the days of unscripted, boozy talk show chaos (referencing Dick Cavett, Peter Falk, John Cassavetes) and deep interviews now impossible in a soundbite-driven age.

4. History and Trivia Addictions

[25:23–32:07]

• Patton and Conan bond over compulsive interests in obscure showbiz history & mutant pop culture: Jerry Lewis impersonator Sammy Petrillo, Duke Mitchell, and the cult movie "Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla."
  • “Sammy Petrillo was doing Jerry Lewis... almost like it’s body horror. It looked like his face was gonna come apart.” – Patton [26:13]
• Discussion of group chats fixated on old comedians (Soupy Sales, the Ritz Brothers) even while Conan is in Ghana on a travel shoot.

5. Showbiz Struggles & Longevity

[32:07–36:46]

• Patton reflects on up-and-down showbiz careers, the importance of showing up and “doing the work,” referencing Nicolas Cage and the enduring spirit of performers in obscure gigs.
• He discusses not being a class clown, but a “comedy nerd” in the “class clown clique,” and the journey of shifting from a persona to authenticity on stage.

6. The Perils and Gifts of Instant Fame

[35:53–38:27]

• Reflection on the risk of comedians and performers becoming stuck in early personas due to the instant exposure of social media and constant self-documentation.
  • “If the current world had existed in 1962, everyone would have been sick of the Beatles before they ever got to Ed Sullivan.” – Conan [36:46]
• Patton notes: “A lot of people are getting stuck in a very early persona... but as they grow and mature and evolve, they’re like, I don’t want to do that anymore.” [35:53]

7. Nerd Culture Dreams Realized: Star Trek (“Vulcan Doug”) and Lost in Space

[38:27–45:09]

• Patton celebrates playing a Vulcan named Doug in "Star Trek: Strange New Worlds," a dream come true for a lifelong fan.
  • “I’m playing a Vulcan, but it’s a Vulcan who’s obsessed with human culture. And his name’s Doug.” – Patton [39:42]
• They marvel at 60s TV weirdness (“Lost in Space”) and the practical realities of old prop warehouses.
  • Tales of recycled props across shows, cheap production hacks, and the infamous “ice cream maker” in Empire Strikes Back.

8. Freeze-Frame Culture & The Joys of Low-Budget TV

[51:13–56:19]

• Discussion on how home video technology lets modern viewers scrutinize old low-budget TV and movie oddities (mannequin explosion scene from Death Wish).
  • “Cut to the table — they replaced the mobsters with mannequins. It looks terrible, and it’s just two frames, but you can freeze on it!” – Conan [53:53]
• They reflect on the charm of creative shortcuts and the joy of seeing old mistakes, now elevated to cult comedy by obsessive fans.
• Patton: “Who’s going to watch it again?... Someone’s going to have a radio show where they criticize it over and over and over again.” [56:09]

9. Patton’s New Special: "Tea and Scotch"

[56:33–60:16]

• Patton describes the raw, club-based feel of his 11th special, shot at Madison’s Comedy on State.
  • “I wanted it to look raw... there’s something about big theaters, it kinda loses the [energy].” – Patton [57:09]
• He reflects on the freedom of bypassing legacy concerns in favor of immediacy and creative joy using platforms like YouTube and 800 Pound Gorilla.
• Themes include growing comfortable with being overwhelmed and not having all the answers, especially in the context of generational change and AI.
  • “I’m becoming way more comfortable with being overwhelmed and not having an answer to things. And I think that comes with... knowing when it’s time to let the next generation come up.” – Patton [60:29]

10. Comedy, Uncertainty, and Wisdom

[61:40–63:55]

• The pair extol humility and comedic vulnerability over faux-authoritative, know-it-all styles:
  • “When someone tells me they’re not sure, I immediately am attracted to them... there’s a kind of comedy that I never been a big fan of, which is I know and you don’t.” – Conan [61:40]
• Both agree: comedy that admits not knowing resonates deeper and feels more honest.

11. Legacy, Friendship, and "Artie Kendall"

[64:49–68:45]

• Patton and Conan trade affection for one another’s comedic legacy, noting Patton’s record appearances (44 on TV, 4 on podcast).
• The guests reminisce about classic Conan sketches (specifically, crooner-ghost “Artie Kendall”) and the joy of low-budget absurdity and running bits.
  • “He would sing songs that were sexist, racist, you know, all this stuff, but he thinks... ‘you’re welcome. Here’s a nice little song.’ And it’s always the worst thing you’ve ever heard.” – Patton [66:58]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Showbiz Survival:
  “Showbiz is very up and down... some people think the up will last forever, and it doesn’t. But you still have to show up.” – Patton [32:07]
• On the Evolution of Comedy Careers:
  “It takes years to grind that out of you, to the point where you can go up and say, ‘I know who I am, you know who I am.’” – Conan [35:45]
• On Social Media & Creative Growth:
  “A lot of people are getting stuck in a very early persona that they’re comfortable with, but as they grow and mature and evolve, they’re like, ‘I don’t want to do that anymore.’” – Patton [35:53]
• On Generational Wisdom:
  “It’s becoming more about, oh, my daughter just explained this thing to me that I didn’t understand... the roles have shifted.” – Patton [63:55]
• On Absurd TV Logic:
  “No one was thinking about reruns. No one was thinking about this being a body of work or a boxed set. Everyone’s thinking, get this thing done.” – Conan [45:58]
• On Conan and Patton’s Friendship:
  “Anytime you come by, please come back for anything and everything.” – Conan [66:00]

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Key Timestamps

• [01:13–09:12] – The “little bitch” cornhole controversy, trash talk, and professional boundaries
• [10:21–17:00] – Modern promo insanity, “stunt” interviews, media death march
• [19:31–21:49] – The rise of viral clips, death of late night intimacy
• [25:23–32:07] – Comedy nerd obsessions, old showbiz offshoots, and midnight YouTube rabbit holes
• [32:07–36:46] – Longevity in showbiz: showing up during ups and downs
• [38:27–45:09] – Dream gigs: Patton as a Star Trek Vulcan, Lost in Space weirdness, prop history
• [51:13–56:19] – The art of freeze-framing: Death Wish mannequins and cult TV mishaps
• [56:33–60:16] – "Tea and Scotch": Patton’s return to small clubs and creative freedom
• [61:40–63:55] – Comedy that admits uncertainty and generational change
• [64:49–68:45] – Friendship, the legacy of “Artie Kendall,” and the joy of absurd comedy

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Episode Tone & Atmosphere

Warmly irreverent, meandering, and deeply affectionate. The camaraderie between Conan, Patton, Sona, and Matt is infectious, with laughter and playful ribbing throughout. The episode deftly mixes comic nostalgia, critical industry insight, inside-baseball comedy history, and gentle self-deprecation—offering plenty of meta-commentary for long-time fans and newcomers alike.

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Final Thoughts

This episode delivers the quintessential "Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend" mix: playful confessions, media analysis, pop culture rabbit holes, and the kind of deep laughter that only old friends (and old TV) can bring. Whether you’re a showbiz junkie, trivia hound, or just love listening to comedians deconstruct their craft (and themselves), this is a must-listen—though perhaps best enjoyed with a Nutri-Grain bar and, if you’re feeling brave, a little trash talk at cornhole.

Transcript

[Conan O'Brien]

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[Patton Oswalt]

Hi, my name is Patton Oswalt and I feel relieved about being Conan o' Brien's friend.

[Conan O'Brien]

Relieved? Relieved you thought you were just barely hanging on with me.

[Patton Oswalt]

Hanging on by my finger. I know you got way bigger people you're hanging out with.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, I do.

[Patton Oswalt]

When everyone grabs the chocolate chip cookies. You learn to like the oatmeal. You learn to like the oatmeal cookies.

[Matt Gourley]

Yes.

[Patton Oswalt]

Fall is here Hear the yell back to school Ring the bell Brand new shoes Walk and loose Climb the fence

[Sonam Nair]

Books and pens I can tell that

[Patton Oswalt]

we are gonna be friends Yes, I

[Sonam Nair]

can tell that we are gonna be friends.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey there. Welcome to Conan o' Brien Needs a Friend. I'm Conan o'. Brien. Big surprise. Joined by Sonom Obsessian.

[Sonam Nair]

Hello.

[Conan O'Brien]

Matt Gorley.

[Matt Gourley]

Hi.

[Conan O'Brien]

And very exciting show today. And I'm excited because this is a follow up. You know, every now and then something comes up in a podcast and maybe it piques the listener's interest and then we get to follow up with new information that changes the whole story. Do you know what I'm talking about here, Matt?

[Patton Oswalt]

I do.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Why don't you take the ball?

[Matt Gourley]

Well, in an episode not long ago, we were talking about the epic time that Eduardo called Conan the little bitch.

[Sonam Nair]

Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I don't know if it's epic time.

[Matt Gourley]

It was epic.

[Conan O'Brien]

Maybe the darkest hour, one for the ages in the history of our history of our nation.

[Matt Gourley]

Monumental clutched my pearls hero of mine. And actually, we were all reveling in it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. And just make it clear we were talking on a certain subject and then Eduardo, out of nowhere, just called me a little bitch.

[Patton Oswalt]

Out of nowhere.

[Sonam Nair]

I know. Out of nowhere.

[Matt Gourley]

Well, I think we're gonna litigate this again because I'm talking about the time. We were talking about that time, which was very recently.

[Sonam Nair]

But it didn't bother you at all because you don't, you know, it's sort

[Conan O'Brien]

of, it felt a little out of left field and not at all in keeping with my stature. But yes, we were discussing that time. Everyone here, of course, was doing the ha ha. Wasn't that great? Wasn't that great? Conan sure got his. Then Sona, you admitted something that's kind

[Matt Gourley]

of surprised us, kind of stopped us all.

[Sonam Nair]

I don't think I would ever, I don't think I could ever call you a. It just feels like. And then you said you still have a little bit of professional fear. And I, I, I think I do.

[Conan O'Brien]

And it was, it's so funny because you have kicked my ass to the curb in so many different ways.

[Sonam Nair]

I've called you a dick.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sure.

[Sonam Nair]

I've called you an.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I am those things. Yes.

[Sonam Nair]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't, I don't know why. Feels like it's a little too harsh.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, but to you it stopped you a little bit. And you were surprised that Eduardo said it.

[Sonam Nair]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you thought I couldn't go that far?

[Sonam Nair]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, well, some information has come in over the transom. And Matt, you were the keeper of this information. Care to tell us about it?

[Matt Gourley]

Well, as soon as we left that segment, Sam Curry, who handles all the wonderful social media, put a clip in all of our faces. Let's just roll the clip.

[Sonam Nair]

We can talk shit, right?

[Conan O'Brien]

The dreaded Sonom Obsessian, who's terrific at cornhole.

[Sonam Nair]

I'm terrific. Come on, bitch. Fuck it and can't throw. You little bitch. What? At height. God, this is embarrassing for you. Loser.

[Conan O'Brien]

You can't touch. I'm not worried about this at all.

[Sonam Nair]

You can't get better at this. We did a competition where we built wooden airplanes.

[Conan O'Brien]

You'd win.

[Sonam Nair]

Dork. Someone's getting hurtful cuz he's losing. I don't think I've ever seen you throw anything.

[Conan O'Brien]

Let's back a little bit. Three points for.

[Sonam Nair]

Yeah, I do have a problem.

[Matt Gourley]

Twice. Twice you call him a little bitch.

[Conan O'Brien]

Twice you call me a little bitch. And that's one of 700 awful things you said to me just as we're playing cornhole within like a two minute period.

[Sonam Nair]

Oh my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

So you call me a little bitch twice.

[Sonam Nair]

I Was brutal. I was.

[Conan O'Brien]

So what? Explain. How can you think you've never done it because you never in a million years would. And then you said it twice within seconds of each other.

[Sonam Nair]

I legitimately thought that I had never called you a bitch. I really did. And then I. The moment that that started, I was like, I remember that. And I think that. Can I. Can I say something in my defense?

[Conan O'Brien]

Sure, I. Please. I'd love to hear it.

[Sonam Nair]

I had. I. At that point, I was buzzed. Buzzed. I was buzzed.

[Conan O'Brien]

Were you drinking? That was one of those summer s'. Mores. So you were drinking alcohol?

[Sonam Nair]

Yes, I was.

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't even remember. But you probably made the cocktail.

[Matt Gourley]

I did, I think, yeah.

[Sonam Nair]

Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

What was in there, do you think?

[Sonam Nair]

Liquid courage was it?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. So you.

[Matt Gourley]

The chocolate one? Well, no.

[Patton Oswalt]

I don't know.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. I guess my point is, your defense is that you were drinking. And we all know that in vino veritas, truth comes out of drinking. So all that reveals is that you really are a little bitch. You do think I'm a little bitch.

[Sonam Nair]

Here's what I know. I know I get competitive, and I know we were competing, and I'm even more competitive when I'm competing against you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. And you'd been drinking and I've been drinking. So you're trash talking, and I love

[Sonam Nair]

to just trash talk.

[Matt Gourley]

And you're a little bitch.

[Sonam Nair]

Yeah, well, I.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes, I. I mean, we'll get to that later. I. Whether or not I am a little bitch. We have. I've. I just came back from the doctor. The tests are in. We'll talk about that a little later.

[Sonam Nair]

I. I think this also means I clearly don't have any sort of professional.

[Conan O'Brien]

You don't Also, if you remember, I demolished you in that cornhole game. I beat you and you were mad. You were really mad. And I think that's where a lot of this came out.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Matt Gourley]

That was like an uncomfortable day. I remember feeling like my parents were fighting.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, I wasn't fighting back.

[Patton Oswalt]

I don't know.

[Matt Gourley]

You were smug as hell.

[Sonam Nair]

You were so smug. You are the worst person.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because I won in cornhole, which means that I'm the best person that ever lived.

[Sonam Nair]

No, you are an awful person to lose. I'm already competitive. And then when. Look at your stupid face right now. Look at your stupid face.

[Conan O'Brien]

Stupid. Hey, if you want to see my stupid face, go to the video on teamcoco.com.

[Sonam Nair]

oh, you're so smooth. You're smug just thinking about it.

[Matt Gourley]

And remember how cranky he was. The whole thing started with you complaining about ducting for, like, 20 minutes, covered

[Conan O'Brien]

in ducting and conduits, and, hey, get me started on conduits and I need a drink. But the facts are. The facts are that you were shocked that Eduardo called me a little bitch.

[Sonam Nair]

I was.

[Conan O'Brien]

You said, I would never do such a thing. And then we immediately, thanks to Sam Curry, had footage of you calling me a little bitch not once, but twice in rapid succession. Right. So what else have you done in

[Matt Gourley]

your life that you think, yeah, you

[Conan O'Brien]

probably walk around thinking, I didn't do that. I would never. I would never kill a hobo.

[Sonam Nair]

You guys never had those nights where you went drinking and you woke up the next morning, you're like, are you kidding? What happened?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I once had a rum flavored lozenge and woke up in the library.

[Matt Gourley]

You're looking at two little here.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I'm a little bitch. And by the way, that's the big. That's the big reveal from my doctor is, yes, it came back when I

[Sonam Nair]

used to go out and I would, you know, I would drink pretty heavily and then I would.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sure.

[Sonam Nair]

Don't. Don't add. Don't add commentary, okay?

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, sorry, I thought this was a podcast with my fucking name on it. We don't need your audio additions

[Sonam Nair]

on this podcast.

[Patton Oswalt]

Okay? I do.

[Sonam Nair]

I. And I. I think I would. It's not that I blacked out. It's that I was loopy doopy.

[Conan O'Brien]

You went into a fugue state, and

[Sonam Nair]

I went into like, hey, man, I'm, like, limber and loose and chill, and we're competing against each other, and you're a little bitch. And I was like, just shit talking.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, so now we do. You know, now I think Eduardo's looking at you and he's like, game recognizes game, you two. That's true. You probably incepted it in my mind. Ah, now I know where I got it from.

[Sonam Nair]

Yeah, there's a little bitch virus going around.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, you know what? There's nothing I can say other than I probably had it coming.

[Matt Gourley]

We solved a lot here. We solved that. You did indeed call him a little bitch. And you are indeed a little bitch. And we did it.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, we did. We solved a lot of problems here, and I think everyone listening can rest easy.

[Sonam Nair]

Yeah, and I drank too much. I don't even remember who won. I don't even remember who won that game.

[Matt Gourley]

I think you won, Sona.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, sure. Sure, you did. Well, we have. We have a wonderful show today, and

[Patton Oswalt]

I think we should Begin.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, My guest today is a comedian and actor who's late. What's so funny to you?

[Sonam Nair]

I feel like sometimes you, in your mind, you're like, is this an intro

[Conan O'Brien]

or are we ending the episode for sure? I don't know. My guest today is a comedian and actor whose latest comedy special, Tea and Scotch, is available to stream on YouTube. This gentleman is one of my all time favorite people. I love it when he pops in. Patton Oswalt, welcome.

[Patton Oswalt]

I'm on that one of those promo death marches for my new special. And listen, I'm flattered that anyone wants to talk to me, but there is nice to get to occasionally do a show like this where we're clearly just bullshitting and there isn't that like it's coming out here and push it, push it, push it. We're just this interview. I'll be amazed if we even mention the special. Yes, we're gonna wander around everywhere.

[Conan O'Brien]

We will. But it'll be a miracle when it happens.

[Patton Oswalt]

It'll be like a little Easter egg that pops up like, oh, oh, that's right, we're doing it.

[Conan O'Brien]

There's a reason he came by.

[Patton Oswalt]

But on the way, we'll somehow mention Marty Allen and the Treaty of Ghent. It'll be the most un.

[Conan O'Brien]

Ghent.

[Patton Oswalt]

I can't believe I just said it. Oh, God. Oh, God.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's how all kids who are like 14 and 15. All 14 and 15 year old girls know me as the guy that talks about the Treaty of Ghent. It's their favorite topic at the food court.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, at the.

[Conan O'Brien]

They're all eating Swedish fish and gummies and they know you as the man

[Matt Gourley]

to stay away from because at the mall.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because I talk about the treat of Ghent.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, he's going to quizze.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, it's so funny.

[Patton Oswalt]

He's going to quiz us again.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's so funny. You bring up this media death march which most people aren't aware of, because in this siloed world they come across the thing that they like and oh, great, you know, Patton's on. But they don't know that in order to reach a number of people to watch your special they need you had to do 107 of these. I swear to God, this is a thing that was said to me maybe 75 times on the old late night show and shows after that, but over like a 28 year career of doing late night television, many times, much more than you'd think. People said to me, oh my God, I've been doing so much press, but this is the Last stop. And they would say that without any sense that it's insulting.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Like I did everything. And then, you know, we all know that at the very end, if there's time, if there's time, you do the Conan o' Brien thing.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, Jesus, I swear to God, they

[Conan O'Brien]

said that so many times. And I would like look out at my, at my two shot camera and go, why?

[Patton Oswalt]

Why? That's being broadcast.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, people. Let people hear people.

[Patton Oswalt]

Here's one of those things, like when I do Double Threat with Tom Schropping and Julie Clouser. Oh, this is the dessert in the middle of all of the. Boom boom. Because we were talking before we went on. When you're promoting things now, it is. You are doing a million. It isn't even talk shows anymore. It is stunts.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Patton Oswalt]

You just, you have stunts lined up all day. You're going to go on this thing. You're going to both be at a salmon hatchery and you're going to be pollen. You're going to be squeezing the thing to get the whatever, the roe. Yeah, the row out. And then you'll be talking about. It's called all in a row with micro. And listen, 800 billion viewers, they love watching celebrities squeezing out salmon balls.

[Conan O'Brien]

We were talking about this because I did this, I was telling you I did this movie with Rose Byrne last year and they said, you know, now I've never, I don't do movies. And so I was new to all of this and it used to be. Oh, to promote your movie, you'd go on maybe one, maybe two late night shows. This is back in the day. It's all changed seismically since then. Yes. So the next thing I know, seismically

[Patton Oswalt]

is a good way to put it. Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

I am talking to a young woman's interviewing us while Rose and I are finger painting. And. And then that would be over and they'd say, get rid of the finger paints. Get rid of the finger paints. And then they'd bring a little blonde Austrian boy named Guther and he. His bit is you both have to put on Flemish armor while Guther throws ping pongs at you. Ping pong balls. And they have little questions and you have to catch them and then answer the questions you catch. And 900 billion views and you do these. And it's one thing for me to do it because people are used to me being humiliated all the time, but Dame Judi Dench has to be lowered into a giant toilet filled with hot caramel. And then the person asks her questions about her career. And it's called, you know, Schicks and housing.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes, exactly. We're promoting the movie the Queen. And what better way to do it than on Royal Flush?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

That's where we. But, okay, here's what's even weirder, though. You're in a movie called if I Had Legs, I'd kick you, which is a very, like, kind of. It has funny parts to it, but it's a drama. It's a very.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's dance. It's dark. Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

Drama. And you're doing finger painting.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Patton Oswalt]

So that's like having Willem Dafoe and Charlie Sheen, like, doing. Playing Ganip Ganop going, go see Platoon. It's a really dark movie about, oh, you got through.

[Conan O'Brien]

The loss of America's innocence, man's inhumanity to man.

[Patton Oswalt]

Got it.

[Conan O'Brien]

My hippo beat your hippo.

[Patton Oswalt]

I guess I was hungrier, Willem.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, it is what's become. And so here's another thing I'm gonna be. I'm in Toy Story 5, coming out in June. Now, you did Ratatouille, and it was probably long enough ago that there was some of this, but now it's gone haywire. And already I've done things where they'll say, now they don't even trust us to know the context. They don't even trust the comic or the performer to know the context. So they'll say, just say, rope a dope squiggly dee. And you go, rope a dope squiddly dee. And they say, now say, rope a dope squiddly dee. Hello, Brazil. And then they get all these things out of context, and you do it, and they say, trust us. It all fits into a bigger thing because Tom Hanks has done it, and Tim Allen's done it and Joan Cusack's done it. And when it all fits together and is shown around the world to 900 billion people, it's really funny. And I'm like, how old are you? I'm 21. I'm in charge of all Disney, Hulu, Pixar, and So it's amazing.

[Patton Oswalt]

21. And the success of this movie hinges on me getting to these outlets, all these online outlets, or you're screwed if you don't have me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's just fascinating to me how this is what it is, and I'm a big believer in you.

[Patton Oswalt]

Don't.

[Conan O'Brien]

Don't come. I'm not complaining about it. I'm marveling that it changed. It just all changed. And now it's this. And I'm an old white guy who's like, whoa, look what's happening. You know, just losing my relevance fast. But I'm just enjoying all the changes.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes. And I'm enjoying and I'm very anxious to see who is going to do the Next great producers, Dr. Strangelove style satire on this moment. Like what, how crazy this is. But it's going to be hard. I'm in a movie called the Goat and it's a delightful animated movie. And so to promote it, a bunch of the actors, we all went and did goat yoga. They filmed us doing goat yoga. So there was a goat on my back and it was. I don't wanna get graphic, but it was spraying goat turds.

[Conan O'Brien]

And apparently, by the way, not graphic at all.

[Patton Oswalt]

Well, yeah, I literally just said, I don't wanna be graphic spraying. And by the way, what I found,

[Conan O'Brien]

it's on your back.

[Patton Oswalt]

Well, goat turds come out like pellets. These were these little pellets coming out.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sure. It's a giant PEZ dispenser.

[Patton Oswalt]

It is, yeah. But as I'm doing this, they went, okay, cut. And they're doing this, but I still have a goat my back. And it's. It stopped spraying for a second. And then somebody was on the front and went, oh, man, we just went to war with Iran. And then the goat started spraying pellets again. And I'm just like, so where was, where was Hollywood when the war was declared? And they just cut to me like, like, go see goat.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Well, Patton Oswalt was holding on the fort in America, doing his part for our boys overseas.

[Patton Oswalt]

I just love Hollywood Answers the call.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, man.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

But I'm telling you, you're a regular Capra. But you know what? You can't think of something, you know, you can't think of anything that's weirder or funnier as a comedian to parody this than what's really happening than what you're doing. You with a goat on your back as it shoots pellets out its ass was a real thing. And that's what one. You know, And I accept it's go eat hot wings, you know, with Sean. Yeah, yeah, go eat chicken on a chicken shop date. And those, their shows are really funny. The interviewers are great. I love it all. But it's fascinating that those shows now, you know, people talk about late night TV and what's happening to it. And I think, well, obviously there's a political component to it and there's all kinds of stuff going on all Kinds of factors, but none of us can. No late night show can compete with these shows that cost $2 to make nothing. And they're watched by, you know, hundreds of millions of people all around the country. It's kind of stunning.

[Patton Oswalt]

Somebody. I remember I did a late night talk show. I won't say which one, but they basically said no one's actually watching this show. We hope that one of our clips goes viral tomorrow. That's where we get our viewers. That's where the promo happens, which is why there are so many stunts and craziness going on. They want the viral moments and no one has the patience. Now, I just rewatched the. There's that Dick Cavett episode where they're. Remember, they're promoting husbands. So it's Peter Falk, Ben Gazara and John Cassavetes come out and they are so tanked. And the. And it is, it's like a better movie than the movie they're promoting. Is them drunk and. And Ben Gazara takes his shoes off at one point and Cassavetes falls asleep. And it like, it's such an event. And now that would have to be cut up into little seven second things. You won't. You wouldn't watch the whole event anymore.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. No, I mean, it reminds you of the way things have changed. That Dick Cavett could, you know, could have James Baldwin on and they could talk about the state of being black in America for like 35 minutes.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

With one of the most celebrated authors of all time. And it's, you know, but now they would say, you know, that's great, Mr. Baldwin. We want to talk about that. But first you have to hold this exploding pig. We've stuffed a lot of starbursts into it, and they're timed to go off in five minutes. And then when it blows, you have to catch as many in your mouth as you can. But one raspberry and you get a goo goo point, which means you have to sit on the bonbon throne.

[Sonam Nair]

You watch all of the things that you're describing right now.

[Patton Oswalt]

I would watch everything you're describing, Mr. Baldwin. That was a really incisive take on the white liberal. Try the next hot sauce.

[Conan O'Brien]

See how hot that is.

[Patton Oswalt]

Are you feeling it yet? Is that the second one?

[Conan O'Brien]

He's so busy screaming, eating the hot sauces. And at the very end, they just have to jam in. And remember, racism may be endemic in our society anyway, that's all the time we have. Let the record show he. The seven sauce was the one that got him A little rough. Well, Father's Day is coming up. Hint, hint, June 21.

[Sonam Nair]

We're not your children.

[Conan O'Brien]

What? My children are not getting me anything. So it's up to you guys to get me Father's Day. They have never bought into Father's Day, but you guys are going to. You're my employees, and you have to. Well, guess what. Luckily, Macy's has a wide range of options, the expertise to help you find the perfect gift. Macy's is the answer for Father's Day, David.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

As my sort of surrogate son. Okay. Oh, that's nice. The son that I hired to buy me things. Exactly. I hope that you're prepared for this Father's Day, and I hope you've consulted Macy's. Oh, I. Sure. I have done both of those things first.

[Sonam Nair]

Oh, there you go. You love a pun.

[Conan O'Brien]

We got you a shirt that says the Grill Father. I love that shirt. Because you know what? I love the Godfather movies and I love grilling. And they've combined them with the Grill Father. And are you ready to combine it even more? Let's use that. You bet I am. A gift.

[Patton Oswalt]

Ooh, a ninja indoor grill.

[Conan O'Brien]

Can I say something? That looks really good.

[Sonam Nair]

It does.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then, you know, sometimes when you're grilling, you know, you might want to get rid of that. That scent, that smell. So we got you some Dior cologne. Oh, is that Sauvage?

[Patton Oswalt]

It's Sauvage.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God. I love Sauvage. And I love that it does mask the scent of charred meat really well. Yeah. So happy Father's Day from us and Macy's.

[Patton Oswalt]

You know what?

[Conan O'Brien]

I want to say thank you. Those are cool gifts. I love it. Check out Macy's online gift guide for more ideas@macy's.com gift guide. The Disney Hulu HBO Max Bundle. The best in entertainment in one bundle this month. Stream Pixar's blockbuster family hit Hoppers on Disney, the hit horror comedy Send Help on Hulu, and season three of the HBO original series House of the Dragon on HBO Max. Get the Disney Hulu HBO Max Bundle today. All of these and more streaming soon available with Disney Hulu Max bundle plan starting at $19.99 a month. Terms apply. Visit Disney plush hulumaxbundle.com for details. Ever invest in something that seemed incredible at first but didn't live up to the hype?

[Sonam Nair]

Yeah, like all the time.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I did that with an all potato restaurant.

[Sonam Nair]

Oh, no.

[Conan O'Brien]

Marketers know that feeling. They optimize for the numbers that look Great. Like impressions. But then they don't see revenue. You know what I'm talking about? Don't you see that?

[Sonam Nair]

Oh, yeah, all the time.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. LinkedIn has a word for that. Bullspin.

[Sonam Nair]

Bull spin.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Instead you can get the highest roas of major ad networks with LinkedIn ads. Cut the bull. Spend. Advertise on LinkedIn. Spend $250 and get a $250 credit. Go to LinkedIn.comconan Terms apply. Whenever I talk to you, I'm reminded that you have this insane knowledge of history and also movies, pop culture. And all I will say is that there's a thread around that you are part of and a bunch of other really sharp, really funny people. And I rarely contribute because I have a knowledge of these things. But I can't keep up with you guys. I feel like someone who's got a single shot derringer and you all have these very sophisticated gas powered Russian machine guns firing away and I'll just.

[Patton Oswalt]

And a combination, the word insane. A combination of genuine knowledge of history and then the most useless showbiz trivia you've ever heard in equal amounts.

[Conan O'Brien]

And this is what I want to bring up because we might as well go for it. There's this obsession that you and your cohorts have, and I think I have it a little bit too, but not as much as you guys. With there was. Everyone knows Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin. Lewis and Martin. And then at some point it was decided there should be. It was guess a ripoff or something. But it was these two guys who were supposed to maybe like, okay, Lewis and Martin are kind of winding down. So we've. It's a shameless. It's two guys. One is Sammy Petrillo, the other is Duke Mitchell. Duke Mitchell. And it's Martin and Lewis, but it's not Martin and Lewis. And it's kind of horrifying.

[Matt Gourley]

Like when they replaced the Duke brothers.

[Patton Oswalt]

I mean the Duke boys, that is. And by the way, I'm not saying this to be joking, that was subtle compared to what we're talking about. And like this mutant, amplified version of what Martin and Lewis were. They were in Eichelbach, Sammy Petrello and. And Duke Mitchell and Sammy Petrillo was doing Jerry Lewis. Almost like it's body horror. It looked like his face was gonna come apart. It's so unsettling.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's a real thing. And then they do these movies like Sammy Petrillo and Duke Mitchell meet.

[Patton Oswalt]

They did one movie. They only did one called Bela Lugosi. Meets a Brooklyn gorilla. There's no Brooklyn gorilla in the movie. I mean, a guy, Duke gets turned into a gorilla. I can't believe I just tried to qualify that. I just said Duke gets turned into a Goril is a gorilla. It's. It's Bela Lugosi at the height of his morphine addiction. It's these two and those on the poster, too.

[Conan O'Brien]

At the height of his morphine addiction. You've never seen him like this before.

[Patton Oswalt]

Goof to his eyeballs. We. We all went. We all organized a night to go see it at the New Beverly recently.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I think I was doing a travel show. I would have gone to that. I was out of town. But I. You know, I check in on this thread because you guys are going all the time. I mean, you guys are chattering away at 4am and occasionally, you know, when I'm up in the night to apply a cream or an ointment, I'll check in with you guys. And it's like, oh, my God, there it is. But you guys have this endless fascination with this mutant version of Jerry Lewis. Which is a funny sentence.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because you don't need a mutant version of Jerry Lewis.

[Patton Oswalt]

But they found one.

[Conan O'Brien]

They found one. And they're.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, my God, it's in the face. Boy, they both look like them in the bizarro way.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes, exactly. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

But you can.

[Patton Oswalt]

And it's like you can tell how angry Bela Lugosi is being in this movie. Like, he is openly snapping at Sammy Petrillo. And unlike the Jerry Lewis movies, where when Jerry's doing his stuff, people are kind of laughing or enjoying it, all the other characters in this movie are openly hostile. It's like, shut up. Stop. They're just yelling at him.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're not Martin and Lewis.

[Patton Oswalt]

No, stop this. And then they. I could. Listen. Let me tell you what this.

[Conan O'Brien]

Listen. I like how you just said listen, like, this marriage is over.

[Patton Oswalt]

No, no, no. I want to show you the essence of this thread. One night, we. For some reason, we started all texting and emailing back and forth about soupy sales.

[Conan O'Brien]

Soupy sales?

[Sonam Nair]

Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

And then you chimed in and it was. It is 3am I'm in a tent in Africa. This is the one hour that I get WI Fi and you have me looking up soupy sales videos on YouTube. Like, you're literally in the cradle. He goes, I'm in the cradle of civilization. And you idiots, I'm watching soupy sales videos on YouTube.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know what's amazing is you guys draw me in oh, yeah. And you were talking about the Ritz Brothers.

[Patton Oswalt]

That was, that might have been it. I think it was the Ritz brothers.

[Conan O'Brien]

The Ritz Brothers, who were sort of a version, you know, they.

[Patton Oswalt]

Again, mutant Marx Brothers.

[Conan O'Brien]

Mutant Marx Brothers. And you were talking about one of the Ritz Brothers. And I am in Ghana and I'm shooting a travel show. That's right. And I'm shooting a travel show and I can't sleep and it's three in the morning and my phone goes. I'm like, what the hell? Maybe it's Liza contacting me to say that our house was just stolen. And I look at it and you guys are all talking about Harry Ritz and what? Harry Ritz. He was the funny one.

[Patton Oswalt]

I wanted him to leave his brothers. He wouldn't do it.

[Conan O'Brien]

He wouldn't do it. He was loyal. But then he made this movie late in his career and I don't know, it's kind of embarrassing. And I'm suddenly looking at clips of it and then I come in to Harry Ritz's defense and I'm like, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. And yeah, you're again, I am in the cradle of civilization in a tent.

[Patton Oswalt]

I should be veldt. You should be like connected to the. Here's what made me laugh so hard. I've never mentioned this to you. When you said, I'm in a tent in Ghana and I'm looking at rich brothers videos on YouTube. I just picture like there's this like a, like a cheetah or something, like in the bush, like looking over and there's this all silent tent. And suddenly this little light goes on in the tent and you hear Mr. Benton had his head. He went ten way one day. Ooh, ooh.

[Conan O'Brien]

And he was like, just these little Rich Brothers songs playing.

[Patton Oswalt]

This cat's like, the fuck is that weirdo doing? Just trying to get away from it. But that happened. At one point, this little glow went on in a tent. And that was Conan. Because of us.

[Sonam Nair]

Yes.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

I just. Love. But I just, I, I had to bring that up because if you, if you guys want to amuse yourselves, Sammy Petrillo, Duke Mitchell are. And also there was this feel, there was this almost sense. I remember reading an interview with Jerry Lewis where he, he blessed these guys. He was like, I blessed them at first. He blessed them because he said, well, someone's gotta keep it going because we're almost, you know, we're winding it down and I want to. I'm Tired. And so I want someone to take over being Jerry Lewis. And I thought, that's not how it works. We don't need someone else. Maybe you should go away for a while. I just love the idea that I would say, you know what? I am stepping. I can't step down yet because I haven't found someone else who can be that would have the funny name and the hair and the, you know, the pitchy voice.

[Patton Oswalt]

I haven't found someone who would disconnect from the atmosphere of Africa to watch Soupy Sales getting hit with a pie at 3am that, and I'll know that when I see it in his eyes. I'll know it, but I haven't found it yet.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then I can rest. Then I know, then I can retire to my ancestral mans and write my memoirs when I find another idiot to do this shit that I'm doing.

[Patton Oswalt]

But I think one of the reasons that we are so obsessed with this stuff is because, you know, showbiz is a. Is a very rough up. And this is nothing new, but showbiz is very up and down. And there can be extremes of up and down. And some people, they think the up will last forever, and it doesn't. And you still have to show up when you're not necessarily doing what might be the most glorious or looked at work. And this past week with, you know, like, Netflix is a joke. I know that a lot of people were like, well, this guy's in an arena, but you get to do comedy, you still get to do it, and you get to show up. Like, Nicholas Cage has made some bad movies, but he was never bad in them. He showed up and did something unique. And even with. When you watch Bela Lagos, he meets a Brooklyn gorilla as pissed as Bela is with Sammy Petrillo, who's literally hanging on him. And one time he openly yells at him. And it's clearly not in the script. He just is like, go close the cages. Like, just screams at him. But he's still showing up and doing the work like he's. And that always fuels me when I see that's why I'm obsessed with that level of showbiz.

[Conan O'Brien]

You and I have several things in common, I believe. Our height, our brute strength.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Our Celtic blood. But, you know, like, one of the things that I think you've made this point and I've made this point, which is that we weren't class clowns. I was never a class clown. And in fact, I never liked the class clown. Not that I was jealous. I just Thought, he's making too much noise. And I was very quiet and kind of shy about being funny.

[Patton Oswalt]

I wasn't the class clown, but I was in the class clown clique. In other words, we were the comedy nerds, but we weren't the. Hey, it was the. We knew all the routines. We knew all that. I mean, but we, like, went deep when. When other kids. When other kids were, like, quoting Monty Python, my group could quote Derek and Clive. Like, we would always go for the even deeper stuff.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

You know. Yeah, it was that. That's the kind of comedy we liked.

[Conan O'Brien]

And so you would. You're not the kind of person that would get up in front of everyone else and do something when you're in high school or grade school.

[Patton Oswalt]

And I'd feel a little. No. Yeah. Not quite.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. So when you get into standup, did you have to fight through a reluctance to get up in front of people in order to do it?

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, I had to. Well, it's weird. For the first thing that I did was because I was so reluctant to go up, I did this bigger version of myself to hide the fact that I'm not comfortable with myself being up here. So it was a very much a stage Persona and a stage presence, and it took me six years to work through that. It wasn't until I moved to San Francisco four years into it, and I started seeing comedians like Brian Posayn and Margaret Cho and Greg Barent and Greg Proops that were actually themselves on stage, rather than, hey, I'm talking to you now. You're going on. I gotta get into my stage. They could literally be mid sentence and go, I'll be right back. And they would just go up and talk. And so now it doesn't really feel like I'm nervous when I'm on stage because I've become so comfortable just being up there and going, this is what's going on. And here. You know? And I've also got over the whole, Let me point out what's stupid about the world. And here's my cool take now. My point of view is so much more. Listen to this idiotic thing I did. You're not gonna believe this. It's more insightful that way. But it's weird. I had to get over that by first embracing that out of nervousness, and then now I can just kind of be myself.

[Conan O'Brien]

It takes years to grind that out of you to the point where you can go up and say, I know who I am. You know who I am.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, that's one of the things, on the one hand, I'm so glad with a lot of the new online media and cell phones and social media that people have way easier access to. The gatekeepers don't quite have the power that they used to have. I don't think there are gatekeepers. There's not really anymore. But the one bad thing about it is what you just talked about. The years that it takes for you to get through that Persona sometimes and become yourself. A lot of people, because they're immediately filming themselves as they start. They're not. They don't have those years in the wilderness that people like my generation had where you figure out who you are. And a lot of people are getting stuck in a very early Persona that they're comfortable with. But as they grow and mature and evolve, they're like, I don't want to do that anymore. I want to do this thing, you know? Like, I just think of all of the rock stars that we know and love now that what if they had been stuck in their early Personas forever?

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I brought. My example was, if the current world had existed in 1962, everyone would have been sick of the Beatles before they even got to the Ed Sullivan Show.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Because they would have seen. I mean, no matter where you are in the world, you've seen thousands of hours of videos. Them in the Cavern Club and then British Beatlemania. They're touring. They're in the Netherlands, they're in Germany, and then they're coming to the Ed Sullivan Show. Yeah, we know. We know them. And you know what? I think their best work was their early work. To us, that was the big introduction after they had been had their legendary.

[Patton Oswalt]

Where did they come? Where. Where did this come from?

[Conan O'Brien]

These haircuts. Yeah. And so.

[Patton Oswalt]

And. And we would have seen a version of the Beatles, and that's how we would have pegged them. Yeah, they would have been the ones in the German strip club in Hamburg in the leather jackets, lighting condoms on fire and throwing them into the audience and doing antics and being crazy. Like, that's the Beatles. I know. And then by the time Brian Epstein got a hold of him, made them the ones that began, they're like, I don't know, put the lift. You guys are goofballs. Yeah. We wouldn't have accepted it.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I think that's. It's weird to say, but it was a luxury.

[Patton Oswalt]

Although now there seems to be a quiet rebellion against that, where there does seem to be. Whatever the generation after Alpha, a lot of them seem to be like, you don't need to film me yet. We'll wait till I figure it out. Which is. Cause they're learning from the mistakes of the ones that came before them. A lot of the influencers that are now trapped in the. Oh, God, I got a mukbang again. That's what people are watching. I gotta eat 10 cans of baked beans if I want to sell my new book. I don't know. Anyway, my guest today is Conan o'. Brien. Conan, you got a new show coming out? Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Conan, why are you wearing a yachting cap? Something I thought I tried in 1982 that I thought I should bring back out again. You look like an idiot. You know, one of the things that your fame and your success is not wasted on you because you get to do all these things that you're genuinely passionate about. You get to dip into these projects and these things not just stand up, but there are so many different ways that you have taken your, you know, natural, ingrained obsessions and then you get to jump into. You're in this Star Trek strange new world. Yeah. And you're like, this is. I could picture you if someone suggested this to you when you were 11 or 12, you'd say, that's insane. That could never happen.

[Patton Oswalt]

Right. And also the fact that I am in a show that is being made by people that grew up at the same time as me, that loved Star Trek, that also went, but what if this thing, like everything that you love, you will always. Then. But then why don't they add this aspect to it? So the fact that, yeah, I'm playing a Vulcan, but it's a Vulcan who's obsessed with human culture. And his name's Doug. His name is Doug.

[Conan O'Brien]

He's a Vulcan named Doug, which is my favorite thing.

[Patton Oswalt]

But his parents were obsessed, so they gave him. It's the same way as, like people like hippies giving their kids names, you know, like American Indian names or first name turned into, like, starshine. Exactly. So why wouldn't that happen in another culture? Why wouldn't they try to do that? And he, unlike Spock, who has kind of struck this balance, he's so clumsy with it, but because he really loves it and that's a really real thing.

[Conan O'Brien]

So Vulcan with an artistic edge.

[Patton Oswalt]

With an artistic edge.

[Conan O'Brien]

I love that. Because his art, even logical. How can you be a Vulcan who's like, well, that is. I mean, I'm not. It's. I'm just curious how it all comes together.

[Patton Oswalt]

It comes together of I have to play it. Of all of my. The way that I usually am passionate about something, like a movie or something. But. But what if I have to. I am forced by my biology to always filter it through this calm logic. And what would that feel like? So it's always this kind of bubbling underneath and you can see him wanting to, you know, kind of pop up a little bit. But he's like, no, that's not what Vulcans do. I'm not capable of doing that, even though I'm feeling it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Does he wake and bake? Is he. He's constantly still very logical.

[Patton Oswalt]

I'm going to require a couple of days of bedrotting. Like there's you. I don't really know what a Vulcan artist would do. Like that. Yeah. How would he. I am not feeling this, which is strange because I should not be ruled by my feelings. And yet there is not. Oh, I never thought of it. Wow. You know what? I'm doing some more episodes, so maybe they'll go into that.

[Conan O'Brien]

So something about that.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, it's a possibility. There's another obsession I've had and my head writer Mike Sweeney has it as well. We're both obsessed with the show that ran pretty much at the same time as Star Trek called Lost in Space.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh boy.

[Conan O'Brien]

Lost in Space is insane. And when you watch Star Trek, it looks like the most. The highest art possible when you compare it to Lost in Space. And there are these clips that you can watch on YouTube of. And the character to keep your eye on is Dr. Smith. Dr. Zachary.

[Patton Oswalt]

For many reasons.

[Conan O'Brien]

For many reasons. He's played by Jonathan Harris, who doesn't just chew scenery, he inhales it into his lungs and then shits it out. It is amazing.

[Patton Oswalt]

Truly incredible.

[Conan O'Brien]

And the storylines, I think everyone was on acid who wrote this TV show. But the other day I happened on one where an alien ray turns Dr. Smith into a hippie and he's got long hippie hair and he's dancing and of course, you know, you're like. And there's a crazy wacky. Cause they're the. Clearly the show is trying to get down with the scene.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. It's a bunch of 51 year old writers, probably at Renmar or Warner Brothers. Like, see this in the paper? Can we work this into the. Work this in an episode. The hippie thing. Yeah, but how would there be hippies in space? A ray just stuck with a ray.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, everything's just a ray.

[Sonam Nair]

Yeah, yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And then. And then they would. They would clearly to come up with ideas, go to the Prop shop at Warner Brothers or wherever. And they'd say, hey, I just found a giant Cleopatra, you know, uniform. Okay. There's a big puff of smoke, and a Cleopatra alien shows up, and she has a ray that turns them all into mummies. Yeah. Like, they just worked backwards from the costumes that are available.

[Patton Oswalt]

What's available? Yeah, somebody pointed out there's a. There's a episode of the Outer Limits that was the basis of the movie the Terminator that's written by Harlan Ellison called Soldier. And there's a helmet that this future soldier wears in his future soldier battles. And that helmet is the helmet that Robin Williams wears in the opening episode of Mork and Mindy when he comes to Earth.

[Conan O'Brien]

Same one.

[Patton Oswalt]

Same one. But they were just like Garry Marshall. He should wear some kind of outer space. Can we use this? Like, they're just in the. Like you said, they're in the warehouse. That's this alien thing once, like the

[Matt Gourley]

famous guy in Empire Strikes Back evacuating Cloud City, is carrying the space equipment, but it's actually an ice cream maker.

[Conan O'Brien]

You can hear it churning away.

[Patton Oswalt]

And they've given him a name and a whole backstory.

[Conan O'Brien]

They've.

[Patton Oswalt]

They've written him into the thing. He's a guy and. And that ice cream know.

[Conan O'Brien]

Was an ice cream maker.

[Matt Gourley]

Someone found out.

[Patton Oswalt]

They. If you look at it, someone mashed it with. At the time, it was. They just clearly just spray painted it white and go here. Yeah. But then they worked that proposal into the first season of the Mandalorian. It's a thing for transporting, like, biological matter. So they had to work that into the. Yeah, so that's what they worked.

[Conan O'Brien]

But you know what? You could. I mean, we live in this world that's so. I mean, you know, people decry, oh, the Internet era, and are we losing our humanity? Like, yeah. But think of the connections you can make. You could do an amazing documentary where you. Someone could make an amazing documentary where they track a prop that's made in the 1950s for, like a. For like a. Like a goofy movie. But then it shows up here. But then it shows up there. Because people didn't throw stuff away.

[Patton Oswalt]

No.

[Conan O'Brien]

And it went back into the prop room.

[Patton Oswalt]

And I've been in some of the prop warehouses. There's stuff like, oh, if you shoot this from a different angle, this could work as this.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

But all those. There's a Tom Sharply, who I mentioned earlier, does the best show. Does.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hilarious.

[Patton Oswalt]

So funny. He did this thing, I think about it, like, once a week, and I didn't know this till he pointed out, you know the show the Munsters.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, of course. Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. There's 73 episodes of that show. Do you know how many seasons they ran?

[Conan O'Brien]

2.

[Patton Oswalt]

2. 2. And so they were cranking that thing out and Tom was like, this is a writing session on the Munsters. Have we put Herman in a. Like a baby bonnet holding a rattle yet? All right, write that in. I'm gonna go to Musso and Frank's, have four martinis and a steak, and then drunk drive home. I'll see you tomorrow. Like, that is how those shows were. What do we have? What can we use? Yeah, we gotta do 38 of these.

[Conan O'Brien]

But also, no one was thinking about reruns.

[Patton Oswalt]

No.

[Conan O'Brien]

No one was thinking about this being a body of work. Boxed set or boxed set. No one's thinking about that. Everyone's thinking, get this thing done, get it out. And then let's do another one. Let's get our check, and then we'll go to Musso and Frank's and drink at one o' clock in the afternoon. Oh, and there's Jack Webb at the next table, and he's completely smashed.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. And he's six martinis ahead.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah. But you look at these shows and you just see they weren't afraid to use all the same plots. Nope. There's an old.

[Patton Oswalt]

Same actors.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Over and over and the same. The plots over and over and over again.

[Matt Gourley]

Same actors within the same show, different

[Conan O'Brien]

characters all the time. And one thing they did was I don't know how many times when I was a kid growing up watching different TV sitcoms and reruns, I'd see the two people have a fight. So it's like the Skipper and Gilligan on Gilligan's island have an argument. So they paint a line down the middle of the hut. And then it's. You stay on your side, I'll stay on mine. But your side has the door. Then you'll have to use the window, you know, but your side. My side has the food. Well, then you could, you know, it's. And then you'd watch the Munsters and Grandpa and Herman have a fight, and they paint a line down the middle of the room. And then you watch the monkeys and they do it, and you're just like. No one had any shame about number 17.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, let's crank it up for this week. Yeah, let's do a number nine on them. We got to get. Listen, I got to get my martinis.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's. It's 12:30 and it always was a

[Matt Gourley]

white line too, that.

[Patton Oswalt]

Even down to that detail. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

And you know. Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

That. That kind of stuff is. And also they. They didn't understand. Well, they didn't. Because no one could predict it. YouTube, freeze frame. You know, being able to capture little moments where like, oh my God, look at this in the background. You know, there's an episode of that show the Naked City, which was shot just handheld in New York in the early 60s, which now it's so valuable because a. It's all this stuff in New York that doesn't exist anymore that they just casually filmed. And also it's all the first roles of people like Dustin Hoffman and Robert Duvall. And they're all in this. It's like Day Players, but there's an episode with Burgess Meredith where he plays a Greenwich Village poet who wakes up drunk and there's been a murder and he doesn't know. And he stops at a newsstand to look at the paper, like, what day is it? And behind him on the newsstand is copies of amazing fantasy number 15, which is the first appearance of Spider man just hanging there. And anyone and the prop person just put those up or they went to that news. Can we just film here? Fine. Done. And then just walked. And you know, when the comics came the next week, I was like, well, these didn't sell.

[Matt Gourley]

Boom.

[Patton Oswalt]

Like that's like, that's millions of dollars of props just hanging there in the backgr.

[Conan O'Brien]

Big news. Sona.

[Sonam Nair]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Did you know T Mobile recently partnered with the National Park Foundation?

[Sonam Nair]

No way.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yep. They're making it easier to stay connected, so you're free to wander.

[Sonam Nair]

Well, that's really cool.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I love a national park. I really do.

[Sonam Nair]

I do too.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now, there's one thing you have to have if you're doing that good signal, it's a priority. Do you know what I mean? You got your maps, your music, this podcast.

[Sonam Nair]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

So take America's best network, plus their off grid satellite coverage with you.

[Patton Oswalt]

You.

[Conan O'Brien]

Look, we're all a little spoiled, but we like to have access to all our stuff and suddenly you don't have it because of a bad single. That's when I throw my phone into the Grand Canyon.

[Sonam Nair]

Oh, okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Literally filled half the Grand Canyon with phones. Then I got T Mobile. Never had to chuck them again, you know.

[Sonam Nair]

Good.

[Conan O'Brien]

So wander over to T mobile.com and switch best based on analysis by OOKLA of speed test intelligence data for 2H 2025. Wow, that's some sentence. T satellite with capable device in most Outdoor areas in US where you see the sky, that's important. You gotta see the sky.

[Sonam Nair]

Yep.

[Conan O'Brien]

Service may be limited or unavailable. Included with experience beyond or $10 per month auto renews, cancel anytime. That was probably meant to be said by a robot really quickly, but I just did it slowly so you could really understand. Disclaimer. Please do not throw your phone into the Grand Canyon. I was at the airport just waiting in one of those long lines, and I kept saying, hey, let me through. I'm Conan o'. Brien. And they said, shut up. You'll wait in line. I went, okay.

[Patton Oswalt]

And that's so sad.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's a really good story. But I was hungry. I didn't have a snack with me.

[Patton Oswalt]

You got to keep your.

[Conan O'Brien]

And I didn't want to lose my place in line and go try and find something.

[Sonam Nair]

I know.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's when you got to have nutrigrain on you.

[Sonam Nair]

You got to always have a snack in your bag. And when it's a nutrigrain, it's perfect.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's perfect because it's the right size. It's handy. It's also nutritious. Yeah, you can go anywhere. It's made with 10 grams of whole grains, 10 vitamins and minerals. These guys are obsessed with tens and no high fructose corn syrup. Nutrigrain nourishes, and it hits the spot with delicious flavors. They got strawberry, apple, cinnamon, blueberry flavors. I just had a blueberry back in the snack area. Yeah, with a little bit of a glass of milk.

[Sonam Nair]

You earned it. Nice job.

[Conan O'Brien]

Nice job. Find nutritious and always delicious Nutri Grain bars at your favorite store or online retailer today. And look for new Nutrigrain crunchy bars in stores near you.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, I'll get that Crunchy. I will.

[Conan O'Brien]

No one used to think there would ever be freeze frame available. So they. And more in line with what we were saying, which is people were just cranking the stuff out and moving on. No one ever thought that there'd be whole cults of people that love to hate, watch, and then have the power of freeze frames. So recently, I think Matt o' Brien and I, or Sweeney and I were watching one of the Death Wish movies with Charles Bronson. And there's a scene where Charles Bronson wants to kill these guys in a restaurant. And it's the most insane plot. He comes in, pretending to be a wine salesman. He takes out. I'm not kidding. He takes out. You know, he should just go in there with a gun and kill the people who are Sitting in a table.

[Matt Gourley]

He does in every other scene.

[Conan O'Brien]

This one, he comes in, pretends to be a wine salesman. And he's. He goes over to their table and says, hey, I got this wine here. You might like it. It's a good wine. And they're like, huh? Well, we're okay. And he goes, I spoke it like a true wine expert.

[Patton Oswalt]

And he goes, hey, it's red. You ever see red wine? But you didn't think that something new.

[Conan O'Brien]

If you're red, it's wet, and it's red, and it's wet on your mouth. You can sip it. And he. He says.

[Patton Oswalt]

He.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think he opens the bottle, and he sets it down in front of them. And then he gets real nervous. And a guy says, who's sitting at the table with the other mob figure, says, hey, don't I know you? And he goes, I don't think so.

[Patton Oswalt]

I gotta go.

[Conan O'Brien]

And he's trying to get away because clearly something's up with this bottle of wine. And the guy goes, I think I know you. And then Charles Bronson squirms away, and basically he runs off and runs into the kitchen of the restaurant, covers his ears like Wile E. Coyote. And there's a huge explosion. You cut back to the table. There's a huge explosion. Freeze frame. You have freeze frame now. So what they did was, yay, here we go. Cut to Charles Bronson running away and going to the kitchen, putting his hands over his ears. They cut back to the table. They replaced the mobsters with mannequins and put them in the same suits. It looks terrible, and it's just two frames, but you can freeze on it. And suddenly these guys are mannequins. And then I guess they tried a real explosion, but it didn't work. So they just did one of those things where they made smoke go in front of the film in some awful way. So you see these guys freeze, right? And then a cloud. And you're like, they were just trying to get through the day. And I'm watching it over and over. You have it over and over and over again, and I'm just overjoyed. Do you want to see the whole clip or just the mannequins?

[Matt Gourley]

I want to see it all. I can edit it down.

[Conan O'Brien]

Let's. Yeah, edit it down. Go ahead.

[Patton Oswalt]

Let it roll.

[Conan O'Brien]

Let's have some fun. Fun.

[Patton Oswalt]

Watch the whole. Oh, Chuck.

[Conan O'Brien]

To the beginning. To the beginning.

[Patton Oswalt]

By the way, when they rig headphones on.

[Conan O'Brien]

What a minute.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, when they rigged this explosion, Charles had already left. Yeah. Like Mr. Bronson's already left. Just do this. He's not here anymore.

[Conan O'Brien]

He starts by convincing him that he's really. He's got a good wine.

[Patton Oswalt]

This is late.

[Matt Gourley]

Death wish. You can tell by his costume, too.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, exactly.

[Conan O'Brien]

Not bad. Let's see what your customers say. No, I don't think that's a good idea.

[Matt Gourley]

They'll love it.

[Patton Oswalt]

I'm just gonna randomly pour liquor for you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I'm a guy off the street.

[Patton Oswalt]

Lucky day today.

[Conan O'Brien]

Bottle of wine on the house. Hey, not bad.

[Patton Oswalt]

Hey, don't I know you from someplace?

[Conan O'Brien]

I don't think so.

[Matt Gourley]

Is that Danny Treya?

[Conan O'Brien]

It's Danny Treya.

[Patton Oswalt]

Whoa.

[Conan O'Brien]

I know your face. Did you ever live in San Francisco? I'm from Idaho. I got a brother in Idaho. What city? I'm from Id. Idaho.

[Patton Oswalt]

Boise. I'm thinking of opening up, but. Donuts.

[Conan O'Brien]

I know you. I never. Look. Oh, wait. You got to go back and freeze.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

Go back and freeze. Okay.

[Patton Oswalt]

Wow.

[Conan O'Brien]

Looks like a ride at Knott's Berry Farm.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

Isn't that great?

[Sonam Nair]

Why? Why?

[Matt Gourley]

You know, the sunglasses guy's not so bad, but the Danny Trejo guy.

[Patton Oswalt]

Danny Trejo.

[Conan O'Brien]

They. Not.

[Patton Oswalt]

I mean, that is.

[Conan O'Brien]

Isn't that one of the great.

[Patton Oswalt]

You want to put a mustache on this Gregory Peck mannequin we have is close enough. I don't know what to tell you.

[Matt Gourley]

Look at the stains on the ceiling.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, my God. I just. I just. But here's the thing. I always say there's good and bad in everything. And when people decry this new era we're in, I think of the joy that I have had on YouTube being able to freeze frame people just trying to get through the day. Or they're making this TV show in the 60s. They're doing the best they can. They don't think anyone's ever going to look at it.

[Patton Oswalt]

It'll air once. Who's going to watch it again?

[Conan O'Brien]

Why would you.

[Patton Oswalt]

They're never going to. Wait a minute. Someone's going to. There's going to be a thing called DVDs. They're going to collect every episode and put it in a. But that doesn't make sense. Who would do that?

[Conan O'Brien]

It's going to be on a cloud that anyone can see at any time. And people are going to have radio shows where they criticize it over and over and over again.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. Yeah. People going to have. Hang on. A redheaded giant's going to freeze frame this. Him. He'll. He's going to. He's going to sit with a hobbit and they're going to laugh at our work. It doesn't make sense. It'll never happen. You're. You're in. You're in La La land.

[Conan O'Brien]

We'll be right back with more redheaded Giant the Hobbit. Talk to me about tea and scotch.

[Patton Oswalt]

This is.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is you've done. Is this your 10th?

[Patton Oswalt]

11th? 11th is my 11th.

[Conan O'Brien]

Who's counting?

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah, who's. Well, I mean, that's. I didn't even realize it was my 11th till we were. They were putting together all the promo materials and what. I was like, this is my 11th.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Patton Oswalt]

So that's. Yeah, that's. I mean, at this point now, I'm not trying to think in terms of. I think that like posterity, reputation and cool are just traps that get. Get in the way of you doing the work you're supposed to be doing. It's other people that, that sort out your legacy later. Do the work now.

[Conan O'Brien]

100%. Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

And it. But it took me a little while. I. I was getting in my own head about stuff and now I'm just like, no, I get to do comedy and people want to come see me and I get to do venues that I really love. And this is me at a very, very small club. I did a club, it's in Madison called Comedy on Maine, Comedy on State a couple years ago. And I hadn't done a club in like years. And they were like, hey, I was getting ready for do another special. They went, why don't you do this little club to get ready? And the show was so electric. The audience is right there. And I was like, how do I shoot something in this space? Small? So that's what I did. I directed it. We set up the. You can see the other cameras, the lights. Like, I wanted it to look raw. I wanted it to be. I just. And I don't fault anyone being in big theaters and arenas, that's fine. But there's something I just don't. It's like some rock and roll. When it gets too gigantic, it kind of loses the.

[Conan O'Brien]

No. I've had the same thought many times that that's why some music just sounds amazing in a small club. It's why some food just. I don't know what it is, but it tastes better when it's a small restaurant or a stand that you've grabbed

[Patton Oswalt]

and now you're walking around like you're just right there.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I had a small studio for the Late Night Show. 6A was a very small studio. And I remembered seeing it for the first time and thinking, this is too small. We need something bigger because we got to do crazy ideas. We're going to have Triumph the Comic Dog, and we're gonna have all these crazy characters, and we're gonna do this big stuff. It turned out it was such a blessing to have this small space, and I think that's something that's. I now don't take for. I don't take it for granted. I think it's really good for comic.

[Patton Oswalt]

But something like this is. Even in that small space, you feel that clock ticking till the next commercial break. We can get at things that you can't get at on a TV panel segment because there's no clock ticking. We're gonna talk and talk and we'll cut out some of the rough spots, but we're actually talking. And there's a whole different. It's what you always said about sctv. It's the least needy sketch show ever done. And this format is not needy. And doing this smaller club, there was so less neediness about it because we're all right here. I'm not like, oh, God, I got this big theater. I gotta make this count. This is. Is like, we're doing a few shows. This little club. I can be loose. And what I'm learning, especially from. I don't know if you've seen Josh Johnson, right? Yeah. Incredible. The turnover now is so much quicker. I can shoot this stuff, get it up on. I'm on a new platform called 800 pound gorilla. I've heard of it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

Gorilla comedy plus. And get it up on YouTube so much quicker and be so much more immediate. And so that feels like, oh, one less gatekeeper. Now I can set up the next one. Once this comes out June 9th, I'll never do that material again. I'm working on the new stuff, and it just keeps me working, and there's just so much less pressure. It just feels so much better.

[Conan O'Brien]

And the themes you're exploring, are they new themes? Well, is there anything new in this that. I mean, obviously your stuff is always. It's always fresh material. But is there a theme that has surprised you that's come along at this stage in your life?

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. The thing that has surprised me is I'm becoming way more. And then I was kind of touching on this a little bit in the last special. We all scream, too, is that I'm becoming way more comfortable with being overwhelmed and not having an answer to things. And I think that comes with. I'M a big believer in. You gotta know when it's time to let the next generation kind of come up, and maybe they have the answers that you don't. I think a lot of people white knuckle, and they white knuckle their authority, and you gotta go and you can still. I'm gonna do comedy forever. I love doing standup, but there will be this embracing of this is beyond me. Like, I do a whole thing about AI and the whole point of the bit is at one point I'm like, I don't have an ending to this because this is such a massive subject. But that is so much more honest that I'm overwhelmed by the horror of this. And I think that's a thing that a lot of comedians are nervous to embrace, is that you will eventually come to a point where you're like, I don't know what this is. I don't know what is happening. This is, you know, I. I did my part. You guys got to do your part. I'm going to talk about the weirdness now. Off to the sides.

[Conan O'Brien]

When someone tells me they're not sure, I am immediately attracted to them. I like them and I trust them. When someone tells me I know exactly what's going to happen and I know all things. I want nothing to do with them. And there's a kind of comedy that I never been a big fan of, which is I know and you don't.

[Patton Oswalt]

Let me tell you how it is. Yeah, I'm here to tell you how it is.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm here to tell you how it is. And then I've always liked people that admit that they're down in the muck with me. I'm in the muck. We're all in the muck.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. Help me find a way out here. It's what we talked about the last time I was on the show, that your term wisdom rock. You hate wisdom rock. It's that. Let me take my hand. No, you're 20, and there's a lot of that now in standup. I think Marc Maron said there's some comedians doing comedy and there's some comedians holding rallies. And that was such a yes. That's kind of what's going on. And we need to get back to the confidence of someone that can get up there and go, I have no idea. I don't know what is going on. Maybe we will go get to that. But that's. That's where I am. And I'm so much more comfortable being.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

In that. And. And Also being able to look back at some of my earlier stuff where I was doing the. Tell you guys how it is. Oh, you're 23. That's why you're saying that. Because, you know, which is a. That's also kind of real wisdom is when you're like, let me tell you what an idiot I was. I used to say this kind of stuff. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

If you can laugh at yourself at that. Period.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah. So there's a lot of that and there's a lot of just. Just very raw. There's a lot of my daughter. It's the relationship who's a teenager. And so now it's becoming more about, oh, she's actually right about this and I'm not. And maybe I need to like, okay, you figure this out. It's also an interesting place to get to where it used to be like, oh, here's this goofy thing that my daughter did and we gotta help guide her. Now it's like, oh, my daughter just explained this thing to me that I didn't understand and just completely laid it out for me. So that's really interesting.

[Conan O'Brien]

The roles have shifted.

[Patton Oswalt]

How old are your.

[Conan O'Brien]

During their late 40s.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, wow.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

So my daughter about to move out.

[Conan O'Brien]

I had my daughter when I was nine. No. I have a daughter who's 22 and a son is 20 and. But you know what? They've been smarter than me for so long. And you will attest to that.

[Sonam Nair]

Absolutely.

[Conan O'Brien]

They were. When they were kid. Little kids and would come by the office. Yeah. They were not having my.

[Sonam Nair]

Anything technology related. We'd just be like, ask Beckett. That's when he was like 6 years old.

[Patton Oswalt]

The times that I've handed my phone or iPad over to Alice and go, can please help me?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Make it. Do the thing. Make the screen go away.

[Patton Oswalt]

I've handed that thing to her. Oh, boy. Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, tea and scotch is coming out. It's going to be on YouTube June 9th and I'm really looking forward to it.

[Patton Oswalt]

Thanks.

[Conan O'Brien]

You're always fun, funny and delightful. I just gonna end with this. You were on my TV show 44 times.

[Matt Gourley]

Oh, my God.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I thought I looked that up today. And even the computer was upset.

[Matt Gourley]

And on this podcast.

[Patton Oswalt]

That's too many.

[Matt Gourley]

As many as anybody. Right. On this podcast.

[Conan O'Brien]

I think you've been. This is the fourth time, so. Yeah. Which doesn't.

[Sonam Nair]

But it's always. It's always funny. Like when you were on the show on tbs. As long as I've been working for cone. When we knew you were coming on. We kn. We were gonna laugh.

[Patton Oswalt]

Yeah.

[Sonam Nair]

And that it was gonna be just a really good interview.

[Patton Oswalt]

When I came onto this show, I knew that, yes, we would do pre interviews, but it was always like, it'll turn into just us going, oh, man, this thing.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah. And that's gonna be better than any. That's gonna be better than anything. Yeah, that's. It's the stuff that, you know, it was dessert.

[Patton Oswalt]

It was like, oh, I can relax a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was always very. And I know I speak for a lot of comedians who were like, oh, when you're on Conan, you're just. You're actually talking with someone else that understands comedy and is not looking for a. Gotta get a punchline every 10 seconds. It's. Hey, we can just chill. Let's talk. And it always ended up being way more funny because of that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, good. Well, listen, it's a mitzvah, a blessing. Anytime you come by, please come back for anything and everything.

[Patton Oswalt]

My daughter and her friends watch old Conan clips. The NBC show. Like, they're just freeze framing.

[Conan O'Brien]

Look, Conan's a mannequin just before you left.

[Sonam Nair]

You can try to hide that stuff, though.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, you embrace. I would embrace it.

[Patton Oswalt]

You embrace it the same way that, like, SCTV were like, we don't have any money. Look at this.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah.

[Patton Oswalt]

But I just love the way that they will react to, like, whenever I showed her Artie Kendall, the singing ghost. Yes. Yeah. And her whole thing was like, he just makes it worse and worse. Like, every time, he's like, well, let me do this one for the lady. And then it's 10 times where like, they just love that. It just.

[Conan O'Brien]

He was a crooner. Brian Stack is a crooner ghost who would come on the show and he was a ghost. And then he would say, because he died in the 30s, he would sing songs that were sexist, racist, you know, all this stuff.

[Patton Oswalt]

But also that he thinks are like, you're welcome. Here's a nice little song. And it's always the worst thing you've ever heard.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, I got a little Conan. I got a little something about the Irish. Oh, the Irish love. The Irish, love to drink. And all this stuff that's not appropriate anymore. And then I think in one episode, I said, I'm surprised people stood for this. And he went, well, they didn't. I was killed by a mob. That's how he died.

[Patton Oswalt]

Go. I'm. I'm sorry. I've watched this. I'm surprised you weren't murdered. He goes, I was murdered. A bunch of women threw me down a well. And then you're like, well, good. He goes, hey, you have a hot Irish temper. I wrote a little song about the Irish. And then it's the worst thing. Well, you've ever. And.

[Conan O'Brien]

And also.

[Patton Oswalt]

But like that stuff of by the way. And I remember I watched the very first R.D. kendall sketch. I was in a hotel room in New York. I watched it's. It's the one, the very first one where you don't let him finish his third song because you're just like, nope, we're cutting away. And I had to rewatch it to say that it's about the Irish. Irish people's brains are made of corn. Yeah. And I texted Brian Stack. I was like, I am laughing so hard at this guy already. Kind of. And now there's like collections on. It's like YouTube is like this mini criterion collection of great comedy sketches now.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I just always love. Well, shout out to Brian Stack. And shout out. And also my favorite conceit is that I was always supposed to be the host, but I would entertain all our sketches were me saying, okay, what's that, sir? Yes, I'm a beekeeper. And I'd be like, well, okay, you can have like, I in no way say no. This is a show. I'm always saying, oh, well, okay, what are your nine rules for living forever? Mummy from the future.

[Patton Oswalt]

I don't know what guy came in off the street.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I'm a. I'm a crazy man. Off the street. Okay, crazy man. Take your 10 minutes.

[Patton Oswalt]

It's like you're at the bottom of the decision making ladder on a show that you're hosting.

[Conan O'Brien]

That I'm hosting that has my name in it. Pat Noswald, we salute you. We love you. Come on back 44 times, please.

[Patton Oswalt]

Oh, I will. Thank you.

[Matt Gourley]

Conan O' Brien needs a friend. With Conan O', Brien, Sonam of session and Matt Gorley Produced by. Produced by me, Matt Gourley. Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples, engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick.

[Conan O'Brien]

Talent.

[Matt Gourley]

Talent booking by Paula Davis, Geena Batista and Brit Khan. You can rate and review this show on Apple podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign [e-mail] conan and if you haven't already pleased, please subscribe to Conan o' Brien Needs a Friend. Wherever fine podcasts are downloaded,

[Conan O'Brien]

This episode of Conan O' Brien Needs a Friend is brought to you by six all new McCafe drinks at McDonald's. You're a McDonald's lover, Sona.

[Patton Oswalt]

I love that.

[Sonam Nair]

I love my Mickey D's, boo.

[Conan O'Brien]

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[Sonam Nair]

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[Conan O'Brien]

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[Sonam Nair]

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[Conan O'Brien]

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