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Conan O'Brien
The Phoenician Scheme is an epic comedy adventure from director Wes Anderson. Gotta love Wes Anderson. I do, too. It stars Benicio Del Toro as Zsaza Korda, the world's most wanted, most elusive, most mysterious man. Zsaza must survive assassinations, win back his daughter, and pull off the greatest scheme of his lifetime. Yeah. Check out this cast. All right. It includes Mia Threpleton, Michael Cera, Tom Hanks, Bryan Cranston, Riz Ahmed, Matiu Amalric, Jeffrey Wright, Richard Ayoadi, Scarlett Johansson and Benedict Cumberbatch. The Phoenician scheme, rated PG 13. Now playing in select theaters in New York and Los Angeles. Everywhere. Friday Vitamin water, zero sugar, has great taste, zero bs and obviously zero sugar. For those with zero room in their calendar, zero patience for slow walkers. Those who get zero hours of sleep on a Saturday night have zero filter, zero given and zero interest in grabbing a plain boring water. Grab a delicious vitamin water, zero sugar today.
Ron Chernow
Hello, my name is Ron Giorno, and I feel very, very warmly about anyone who has won the Mark Twain award for and humor. Oh, wow. Including our friend Conan o' Brien. So it's a delight to be here.
Conan O'Brien
Thank you very much.
Ron Chernow
Yeah.
Sona Movsesian
Fall is here. Hear the yell Back to school, Ring the bell. Brand new shoes Walking loose Climb the fence.
Ron Chernow
Books and pens.
Conan O'Brien
I can tell that we are going to need friends. I can tell that we are going to be friends. Hello and welcome to Conan o' Brien Needs a Friend. This is kind of a special episode. You probably know I'm a huge history buff and I have read every single book that this gentleman has written. I believe he has another book out there. He might have written a Nancy Drew mystery that I'm unaware of. But other than that, I think I have read all of his books. His latest is a joy. My guest, of course, is a Pulitzer Prize winning authority and his latest biography, Mark Twain is out now. And Twain, in my opinion, is more relevant at this moment than ever before. And we need Twain. And I'm just thrilled that this gentleman is here today and that he's written this magnificent book. Ron Chernow, welcome.
Ron Chernow
I saw in your resume, Conan, that you had studied history at Harvard and I had studied literature at jail. So you were in training for my career and I was in training for your career.
Conan O'Brien
We want to say so much history. You want to trade. You want to trade. Sure. You have done. You know, I've noticed something which is there's a. And other people have pointed it out as well that you have written this string of spectacular Biographies. And I congratulate you on the Mark Twain. I read all, I believe, 1200 pages of, of this book and was enthralled. I love it. And I learned so much about Twain that I didn't know. Because you've unearthed some amazing stuff about the man and to see his life, I mean, it's very hard to contain this guy's life. And I think you have managed to do that brilliantly. But I was looking at your work. Cause I believe I have read all of your books, which I can't say to many people, Judy Blume, but it's you and Judy Blume. But there's an interesting path to the order in which you wrote. Because you start out and you write about JP Morgan and this great Gilded Age industrialist, which then got you interested and whet your appetite for your next book, which is Rockefeller, which then got you interested in finance. And you think, I'll go back to the beginning, the source who's running finance in America at the very beginning. Well, Hamilton, you write that book. And I know your plan all along was for it to be a musical with a lot of rap.
Ron Chernow
You know, people always say to me at events, Mr. Chernow, did you imagine as you were writing the book that it was going to end up as a hip hop musical? And I always say, I think the question answers itself.
Conan O'Brien
Yes, there is a really. I'm sure you've seen it, but there's an amazing tape of Lin Manuel Miranda. He's been invited to the White House to perform his latest work. This is obviously a bunch of years ago, 15 years ago or so. He's invited to the White House, to the Obama White House to perform his latest work. And he gets up to the microphone and he says, I'm now going to perform this is President Obama and the first lady there and all these assembled people at the White House. And he says, I'm going to perform my latest work. Um, it's a musical about Alexander Hamilton. Huge laugh, huge laugh. And he goes, hold on, hold on, hold on. No, no, no, I'm serious. It sounded so absurd to people. And then of course, it became one of the most.
Ron Chernow
No, in fact, you know, with that song. A few months earlier, he had come to my brownstone in Brooklyn Heights and he sat on my couch and he started snapping his fingers and he did the opening number of the, of the song. And when he finished, he said, what do you think? I. You've taken the first 40 minutes, first 40 pages of my book and you've condensed it into a Four minute song. And I said, that's rather amazing, you know, but what I was thinking. And I didn't say to him, I said, this is kind of embarrassing that it took me 40 pages to say, but this guy, you know, has done in four minutes. And then a few months later he said, you know, go on YouTube. I performed it at the White House, you know, so I. Yeah, you know, there he is, not only performing it at the White House, but he got a standing ovation from Barack and Michelle Obama. And I thought to myself, I'm really strapped to a rocket with this guy. He's written one song in the show and he's already performed it at the White House and got the standing ovation from the President and first Lady.
Conan O'Brien
I loved when I went to see the play on Broadway. And it's in the initial run and it's the hottest ticket in town. And I go to see it and I walk into the lobby and prominently displayed is your biography. Hamilton by Ron Chernow is right there. And it's like, you know, it's so. It's what any historian would dream of. Do you know what I mean? That. That. And I know you would are disappointed that your book on Grant did not become a hip hop musical. But Hamilton leads to Washington, Washington leads to Grant. And I mentioned this to you out in the hallway. I love the Grant biography because the most shocking thing to me that I had never appreciated before about Grant and I thought I knew about these guys. He goes to West Point, he serves in fights in Mexico, he's in the Mexican American War, and he tries his hand at business and it's really not going well for him. And the Civil War is approaching. But as the Civil War is almost upon us, he is carrying and delivering firewood, like chopping it and delivering it to people in the cold to make enough money to put food on his family's table. And then he decides to go sign up for the war. And the period of time between him chopping wood and carrying it around to people's homes door to door, and him being the most celebrated general in the biggest war in the history of the world is about two years.
Ron Chernow
No, it's the most insane. Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
And then two years later, he's next to Lincoln. He's the most famous man in America.
Ron Chernow
Absolutely. One of the things that attracted me to the grand story was that I felt that all the people that I had written about up until that point were kind of built for success. I mean, you read about the early years of Alexander Hamilton. He has A focus, a discipline and drive, intelligence. You know, if he didn't do what he ended up doing, he would have succeeded at something.
Conan O'Brien
Washington, a very impressive guy. Even had the Revolutionary War not come along, he's still a very impressive, capable.
Ron Chernow
Yeah, and even John D. Rockefeller, when he's, you know, a young clerk on the Cleveland docks, he said, I was after something big. Whereas, you know, 50, 100 pages into Ulysses S. Grant, you figure this guy's going to end up a footnote in history at best. And so I was attracted to the idea of writing about failure. I had written about so much success. And after all, as we all know, life is much more about failure for most of us, you know, than success. And so, you know, with Grant, suddenly the Civil War comes along. He had West Point, he'd been in the Mexican War. He stood out all this military lore in his head. But he's working in his father's leather goods store in Galena, Illinois, where he's working a clergy junior to his two younger brothers. You can imagine how that felt. The war breaks out. There's a tremendous shortage, particularly in the north, of trained officers. And he suddenly meshes with his historical moment. And then he rises and rises and rises. But he's almost 40 at that point. He could easily have ended up living a life of total obscurity instead. And I think this is one of the things that inspired a lot of people reading this story. We all feel that we have something inside of us if only the right set of circumstances happens. And Grant is kind of the greatest example of that.
Conan O'Brien
He is. If you saw it in a movie, you'd say, well, we gotta fix that part. Cause there's the fact that you have him chopping wood and delivering it door to door and maybe getting a nickel for his trouble and him saying, thank you, thank you very much, and moving on to the next house. And then he's a celebrated war hero two years later in the most consequential war of that century. If I can say that it's astounding. It's absolutely astounding. Today we're here to talk about Mark Twain. You've written. I've been waiting for this book because I've made my life in humor, for better or worse. And Twain is the American humorist, and he comes from this era that fascinates me. And I was saying this to someone the other day. Twain has been turned into kind of an emoji. You know, the white suit, the cigar, the aphorisms that we see all over the place. On coffee mugs and everything. And kind of a lovable, you know. Yeah. Emoji, for lack of a better word. And this book shows you that his life is. I mean, it's an epic life. It's uniquely American life. He does so much and he travels such a far distance. I don't mean he does it obviously in miles. He circumnavigates the globe. But I mean, just from what he started as and what he became is infinite and it's all in one lifetime. And then he has so many contrasts, and I wanted to talk about some of those. He's born in the south and he identifies as. He is a Southerner. He is a Southerner and he has. As a young. As a kid and as a young man, he has all of the antebellum Southern beliefs.
Ron Chernow
Yeah. I mean, he's born into a slaveholding family in a slave owning town in a slave owning state. Okay. He's born in Hannibal, which is tucked all the way up into the northeast Cor. Missouri. It's right on the Mississippi River. So it's then and now rather isolated rural area. Except here is this broad, shining, magnificent waterway that's kind of bringing once or twice a day the world through Hannibal. Pouring off those steamboats. Might be circus players, it might be traveling salesmen, it might be a minstrel show, whatever. He sees the whole world passing through him and it kind of begins to give him an intimation of a wider world. But you're right, I mean, going through his letters, you know, when he's a teenager, not only statements kind of crude and racist about, you know, blacks, but Chinese, I mean, you name it.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
Ron Chernow
And this man grows an inconceivable amount in the course of his life, you know, from growing up in this, you know, small town backwater. And he has all the prejudices, you know, of the general environment. And he becomes so much more enlightened and tolerant.
Conan O'Brien
I tried to touch on this in the, you know, you get to give quick remarks at the end at the Twain prize. And I tried to touch on this, which is by the end of his life, his views have evolved so much. And he is living in this age of imperialism. He's living this age when Americans are getting really excited about, you know, we're gonna pretty much control the Caribbean. We're gonna take over the Philippines, we're gonna take the Sandwich islands, we're gonna take Hawaii, we're going to expand. And Twain is saying, I don't like this. And it's very unpopular and he's very much against all the 19th century racism towards Chinese. He's very progressive. He has a lot of views that are completely evolved from how he grew up.
Ron Chernow
Yeah. You know, it's interesting because he fairly early on becomes America's most popular and beloved humorist. And he recognizes that it's something of a trap. He's always afraid of kind of alienation his readers, particularly alienating his Southern readers, because he had very, very strong views on not just politics, religion and a lot of other things. But as his life goes on, I really feel by the end of his life, he's become the conscience of American society. That he's dared to articulate all of those things that he was afraid to say. And I think that part of his power is he says things that all of us are thinking but won't say out loud. And you mentioned his views on imperialism, because the beginning of the Spanish American War, he's actually very much on the side of the US he feels that we're defending these Cuban rebels against their Spanish overlords. And we take over the Philippines. And he again, idealistically imagines that we're going to liberate rather than subjugate the Philippine people. And he gets up at a dinner in New York. He was very often the toastmaster. He was kind of the perfect person to host a banquet. And he gets up there and he says that our soldiers in the Philippines are marching with disgrace muskets under a polluted flag. Well, we all know, because we've all lived through wars, we know how difficult it is to criticize your own government in your own country during a war. During a war. Yeah. And people in the audience gasped. In fact, another one of the organizers of this event immediately rushed up to the podium and said, no, our soldiers are not marching with disgraced muskets under a polluted flag. And increasingly, as he goes on, he's willing to take the heat. He's willing to make the enemies. And one of the interesting things, one of many interesting things about doing this book is we all like to think as people get older, they become more mellow in their views. Twain becomes more rabid in his rage. And he's not only taking on America in the Philippines, he's writing pamphlets against the Russian czar. He's writing pamphlets against King Leopold II of Belgium for his behavior in the Congo Free State. He's campaigning against municipal corruption in New York. He's writing pamphlets defending the Jews. He's speaking out in favor of women's suffrage, et cetera. Et cetera.
Conan O'Brien
There's also his. What's it called? He wrote a article or pamphlet, United States of Lynchdom, was it?
Ron Chernow
Yes.
Conan O'Brien
He was taking on topics no one wanted to talk about, lynching in the Jim Crow South. And he would talk about it.
Ron Chernow
Yeah, that was actually on so many things, he became outspoken. That was one where he finally drew back, because originally he was collecting a lot of clippings about lynchings in the United States, including in his own town of Hannibal. And he had originally planned and proposed to his publisher that he was going to do a history of lynching in the United States. He ends up writing an essay, the United States of Lynchingham, which unfortunately did not get published during his lifetime, was published 13 years after he died. And what he writes is that he tries to analyz the psychology of lynch mobs. And he says that it's really just kind of a few sadistic individuals who are instigating the crowd. And he says that most of the people are cowards who are coerced into it. I don't know if that's true. I say in the book, actually, when you look at photos of a lot of lynchings, it seems like there are a lot of smiling faces of whites in the crowd. That turned out to. That was kind of one topic that was a bridge too far for him to do.
Conan O'Brien
But I do think he was preface. I mean, he was looking ahead to. I think he'd be aghast at the collective thinking of the news media now, the Internet, how people love to group think. Groupthink is. I mean, he's talking about all these things.
Ron Chernow
There's so many places where he's talking about groupthink. He actually has a very interesting essay called Corn Pone Ideas and what he says. And I keep thinking about this with our own contemporary politics, that we have two sets of ideas. We have our secret and sincere positions on things, and then we have the positions that we take publicly for the sake of our own safety. You know that he said that kind of life makes cowards of us all. The need to support our families. We're afraid to voice things. He also felt that politically, we all like to imagine that we're voicing original ideas, when in fact, he said 99% of the time, we are voicing ideas that we picked up from party leaders, from party organs that were kind of parroting things.
Conan O'Brien
Well, now we have that. We have that. I mean, we have that over and over and over again now with everyone spouts what they just heard on either CNN or Fox. Or that they saw on the Internet and it becomes their opinion. Twain is talking about so many things that relate to today. And there's a couple of things that absolutely fascinate me about this guy is that you use the words to describe him. Glandular and volcanic. There's something driving this guy from an early age that you could almost think would show up on a CAT scan as like, oh, I see there was a growth pressing on the occipital lobe. And you know there's something going on with this guy that yields him greatness and also terrible folly. He is obsessive, he is nonstop. I've never read about an author who churned out so much. I mean when he got writing he would say, I mean he would just sometimes standing up, sometimes writing at the billiards table, sometimes in his little octagonal writing room, you know, he'd churn out, you know, chapter after chapter after chapter and go on these streaks of writing that when he turns it on when it hits him, he's doing that till the end of his life. I mean he's so prolific to an almost crazy degree that would be enough. But he's also, he's traveling as pretty much the world's first stand up. Not the world's first, but a standup comic as we would know it today. He's a very much in demand speaker. He's traveling everywhere. He's also getting into insane money making schemes. Mark Twain, he has an idea for a board game, it's the Mark Twain memory game. He has ideas for a book that self paced for when you put in clippings. All of them bomb. And the sad thing is he really gets involved in this printing press, this settable type press that he thinks the page press that he thinks is gonna revolutionize the world. And he ruins not only his fortune, but his wife's inherited fortune. They lose everything on this idea and he can't let it go. Like a gambler in Vegas. And so he is so good at seeing the flaws in other people. He's so good at seeing the vanity in other people. And then he goes off and does the stupidest things you can imagine. Like again you just think he's, he's driven. He can't stop himself. In good ways and in bad ways. Oh man, I do a lot of traveling, you know that I do the travel shows nothing quite like the feeling of an upgrade when you're traveling. Well, as a T mobile customer, you can take the perks with you.
Ron Chernow
That's good.
Conan O'Brien
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Matt Gourley
Right.
Conan O'Brien
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Ron Chernow
He writes a letter at one point to his family. He says, I have to move. Move, move, exclamation point. And there is something driving him. I mean, one of many contradictions of Mark Twain is he always described himself as lazy. But we know Tom and Huck in the Mississippi. He published two dozen books in his lifetime. Somewhere between 1 and 2000 magazine articles, filled up 50 notebooks, gave thousands of interviews, gave thousands of speeches. And I, of course, had to go through all of this. And he was very aware of his own nature. He said, my emotions veer from one extreme to another.
Conan O'Brien
Would you suspect, I mean, today, today someone would say, you need to go see a psychopharm, psychopharmacologist. I mean, most great men in history would probably be told, you need to be on Prozac. Let's put a little lithium in your coffee. Let's do something.
Ron Chernow
Yeah. And I mean, it was interesting because there were a lot of characteristics. He claimed that he was lazy, but then he would go through kind of this hyper focus period. He could be very scattered and disorganized, particularly before he met his wife who really cleaned up his living. You know, people would walk into his room and there would be, you know, scraps of writing everywhere. There'd be, you know, pipes and cigars everywhere. It would be a complete mess. I did describe this to a psychiatrist friend who immediately said, you know, about attention deficit disorder. I try not to use contemporary psychological language. It seems inappropriate to project that, you know, back onto the past. But there's something like that, you know, that's clearly going on. But I got very fascinated by the business investments. In fact, at one point in the book, I said it was sometimes hard to tell whether Mark Twain was a literary man with business sidelines or a businessman with literary sidelines. That, you know, he said, I have to speculate, such being my nature. He admits late in his life, after he's lost several fortunes, he said, I was always the easy prey of the cheap adventurer. And there was something very, very compulsive about the speculation because the tragedy of the story is, you know, here is a man who made a fortune in book royalties. He made a fortune in lecture fees. He marries an heiress from upstate New York to a coal fortune. Coal and rail and timber. They're living in a 25 room mansion in Hartford with six servants. He blows his own fortune. He blows Livy's inheritance. They're forced into exile to economize in.
Conan O'Brien
Europe for it's cheaper to live in.
Ron Chernow
Europe, cheaper to live in Europe. But still, they're living in a 28 room villa in Florence to, quote unquote, economize. They're living in.
Conan O'Brien
There's no Airbnb. And shout out to Airbnb. Airbnb. By the way, you guys do a great job.
Ron Chernow
Sponsor, you know, then they're living in a very lavish suite of Hotel rooms in Vienna. In fact, they go on one trip to. To Europe and they buy so many objects to beautify their house in Hartford that they come back with like, you know, 12 crates and 25 boxes of things that they were like the original consumers. And Livy was usually the restraining force on Twain's worst excesses, but she herself was the original shopper. And she wrote a very beautiful letter to her mother at one point and said, it's terrible how attached we become to material things. So here was a man, a couple who should have had a lovely placid life, that everything in the world. He had talent, he was making an enormous amount of money. He'd married into enormous amounts.
Conan O'Brien
Probably the most famous person in America.
Ron Chernow
And actually the most famous American, you know, in the world.
Conan O'Brien
In the world, yeah.
Ron Chernow
Yeah. But, you know, particularly in the United States, he was so fascinated that if he walked into a restaurant theater, everyone would stand up and applaud. He was that famous.
Conan O'Brien
Well, it happens.
Sona Movsesian
When does it happen?
Conan O'Brien
What's that? When does it happen? Sona call? Sona calls ahead.
Sona Movsesian
Okay, I see.
Conan O'Brien
She says Conan's gonna be there soon. And you know, you each get 20, $25.
Ron Chernow
Hired actors.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, lots of them.
Ron Chernow
But you know, it's all, you know, the problems are self inflicted wounds.
Conan O'Brien
Oh, all of it is self inflicted. And he gets. There are these contradictions, which is. He's a southerner who becomes obsessed with living in the north, in Hartford, among all the most northern liberal elites, the Yankees, the writers. So he does that, he makes that transformation where he becomes the most northern of northerners. He hated, hated gilded age millionaires, desperately wanted to be one and did everything he could to be wealthy. He had a publishing house, the typesetting machine, these crazy board games, all of it fails. But he's this kind, generous. There's so many stories of his kindness, his generosity, his sweetness of nature. Yet when he decided to turn on you, he. Forget it. His rage knew no bounds. And the language that he used when he decided, I mean, these are people who. You said, like, this is the greatest person I've ever met. This Matt Gourley is the greatest person I've ever met. I love Matt Gourley. I love. You know, he's great. He's my best friend. I love him. He's fantastic. And then, and I've experienced this one little.
Sona Movsesian
Can we just end here?
Conan O'Brien
No, no, just please, you can, you can edit this for yourself and play it out.
Ron Chernow
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
No, no, but then, but then whatever the friend did that, he decided Was, you know, some kind of breach or lapse or any he, that snake, that monster that, you know, that lower than low. And he would just, he couldn't, he couldn't contain himself. There was no gray area. There was no gray area.
Ron Chernow
He couldn't get it out of his system. You know, when he was a young writer in San Francisco, he was about the same age as Bret Hart. Remember Bret Hart, the outcast of poker flask?
Conan O'Brien
Yep, yep. Who was the celebrity at the time?
Ron Chernow
Who was this celebrity at the time? And who Mark Twain thought was the most celebrated, maybe the greatest, you know, writer at the time. They became very, very close friends. They later collaborated on a play. And Bret Hart was having money difficulties, came and lived in Mark Twain's house in Hartford. He said things about the house that Mark Twain didn't like. He said things about Livy, the wife that Twain didn't like. And Mark Twain then turned on him. He would like fall in love with people and then he would become severely disillusioned so that, you know, he finally has a Bret Hart. He never had an idea that he came by honestly. He said that he was a man without a country. No, that's too strong a term. He was an invertebrate without a country. You know, burn. And there was no one, there was no one who was better at put downs than Mark Twain. But you know, one of the things that I could not figure out about him, we all have these experiences with people where we're suddenly disillusioned with them and maybe tell them off. But when we do tell them off, it gets it out of our system and then we sort of calm down, we move on with our life. Mark Twain would not let it go. And if you can't let it go, the one who's going to end up being victimized by it is now the other person. It's going to be, yeah, it's you carrying like this wound that he keeps probing again and again and again. I could not figure out, I don't know if any psychiatrist could figure out. I mean, he's late in life, he's very disillusioned with the two most important people working for him. A man named Ralph Ashcroft and a woman named Isabel Lyon, who is his private secretary. When he becomes disillusioned with them, he ends up writing a 400 page manuscript. And he says about Isabel, who had been his.
Conan O'Brien
He is so close to her and she becomes really important after he loses his wife. This is someone who cared for him, took care of him and Then he writes this 400 page.
Ron Chernow
She was like the surrogates in their.
Conan O'Brien
Wife about how awful she is.
Ron Chernow
She was a brood, a simple, heartless track. She was an insect.
Conan O'Brien
She was a Kendrick Lamar. Yeah, well, he also hated Drake.
Ron Chernow
He also hated Drake.
Conan O'Brien
Which is. Your next biography is of Drake. Oh, he can wrap your story as well. He can wrap your story there. You heard it here first. Ron Chernow's 1800 page biography of Drake. Break is gonna drop in a year. But you know what's so funny is if you ask people for the sort of, the quick concept, what do you. Mark Twain again? You think of the mustache, you think of this sweetness, sort of a slouch, grumpy the cigar. But all these funny, funny, cranky comments. And it can all seem, you know, you know, Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn gliding down the river. And then you look at later in life and there's so much tragedy. I mean, they lose this fortune. His one daughter, Jean, has epilepsy.
Ron Chernow
Epilepsy, yeah.
Conan O'Brien
And it's terrible. Susie, when they've left the country, she's wandering around their mansion, which is shut down alone, and she has meningitis. And she. He pretty much dies almost alone while the family is in Europe. It's very tragic. Twain's wife is very sick. He's constantly beset by these money troubles, people suing him, trying to get the money back. And he does something that's really stunning. Today we live in this world where people declare bankruptcy. They'll give you one penny on the dollar, and then they start another business venture. Not naming names here, but plenty of people who take advantage of this system. Mark Twain. It was very important to Mark Twain and his wife Livy that when they had to declare bankruptcy, this publishing house collapse that they had created, and they owed a lot of money and they swore that they would pay everybody back every single penny. And then at an advanced age, he starts this world tour. And you. I mean, I couldn't do a tour like this. I have tons of energy. I'm a lot healthier and younger. I could not do what he did. He goes at this time when it was difficult to travel, he goes everywhere in the world to raise the money to pay everybody back. And he didn't have to do that.
Ron Chernow
Yeah, and he's suffering terribly from car bungles. It was really grueling for him to do it. But particularly Livy felt that there was this terrible stigma attached to bankruptcy. And for her it was a real question of honor. Of honor, yeah. And in fact, the eldest daughter Susie, who died at 24 of bacterial meningitis. When they finally paid off the last of the debts, Livy writes that that the happiest day that she'd had since her daughter died was the day that they paid off the last of the creditors. In fact, there's an interesting moment. Twain became very good friends with the Standard Oil mogul named Henry Rogers. And Rogers is kind of running rings around the creditors. He was a very, very shrewd Wall street operator.
Conan O'Brien
He was helping Twain out.
Ron Chernow
Yeah, he was helping Twain out. And Twain in New York writes very proudly to Livy, who was then in Paris, describing the way that Rogers handled the creditors. And Livy writes back, she said, I'm upset by the way we're handling the creditors. She really felt that they owed the creditors and they should be treating the creditors with much more dignity and respect. But it's an amazing story because it did take several years to pay off the debts. But you know what amazed me? Conan. Okay, so he goes through this terrible, grueling. It was a 12 or 13 month round the world tour, and then they're living in Vienna and he discovers that there is this patent for a new process for printing on carpets and textiles and tapestries.
Conan O'Brien
After everything he's been through, after everything he's been through, he hears about this new invention.
Ron Chernow
He hears about this new invention. He goes to the American consulate and he spends a day reading up on this industry. He's known nothing about this before. After 24 hours, he's convinced that he's the world's leading authority on it. And he writes a letter to his friend Henry Rogers, who is one of the main moguls of Standard Oil. And he suggests that they buy up the worldwide patents. The device is called the Raster said we should buy the worldwide patents for this. He said people will call it a trust, this global monopoly they will have, but we mustn't mind that. People will talk, but that's okay. And so he's gone from knowing nothing about this to suddenly imagining that he's going to be the head of a global.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, he really, he wanted to be, you know, what today we would call a billionaire. He wanted to be a billionaire. He wanted to be a financial whiz, which is so crazy because it's what he loved to make fun of, but it's also what he wanted to be. And the second half of his life, or actually the last couple of acts of his life are the. I mean, to me he is so disillusioned and so dark and we think of Twain again. I keep coming back to this, that we think of him as this charming. You know, the Twain you see on stage in One man shows is just this fun scamp and rascal and the old riverboat pilot who's got his stories in the end. He is so dark and he's questioning everything.
Ron Chernow
Yeah. I mean, he says that anyone who's not a pessimist is a damn fool. He actually says there was no life ever worth living.
Conan O'Brien
No life was worth living.
Ron Chernow
Was worth living. And he was asked if he would like to live his life all over again. He said, I would like to relive my youth and then drown myself. He made this statement that the only gift that God gave to the race was youth. He felt that everything else after that was bitterness and disappointment. And he's always kind of pining for this lost paradise of his youth, which is why he wrote so powerfully about Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, which, of course, has much darker tones to it. But it's a bit of a paradox because he had this adoring wife. He could not have had a better wife than Livy.
Conan O'Brien
And also, she read everything Twain wrote and would temper him. Maybe not. I mean, but she would remove if she thought. If she thought anything was a little. It's a little racier. That language is a little. You don't say breeches, you're talking about underwear. Let's take that out.
Ron Chernow
She was very genteel.
Conan O'Brien
She was very genteel, which is a funny. They were an odd couple in that way. But she was a great partner.
Ron Chernow
Yeah. And actually, one of the interesting parts of the story is Twain said when they first met that he, Twain, was a mighty coarse, rough customer. And she took this man and she really. Because he'd come from this little backwater town, she made him presentable in polite society. And he really didn't know how to do it. She helped him with what we would today called anger. Man, he had terrible temper. So he would very often, if he was angry, he would sit down and he would write a very impetuous note telling somebody off. And she trained him when he did that, not to send a letter, but to stash it in the drawer and wait a few days. And then when he would cool off, and I can't tell you, Conan, how many letters there are in his archives where the morning after a dinner party, he would write to someone who'd been at the dinner party. The madam tells me that I might have been a little brusque and sharp at dinner last night. And I really didn't intend to offend you. In fact, the daughters laughingly called this mother dusting father off. In fact, it reached the point where they had this system of cards at a dinner table. So a red card flashed to Mark Twain meant, are you going to monopolize that woman sitting on your right the whole time? A blue card meant, are you going to sit back and not say anything the entire dinner? So she's kind of guiding him.
Conan O'Brien
These are soccer penalties.
Ron Chernow
Yeah, these are soccer.
Sona Movsesian
We have those cards for Conan.
Conan O'Brien
Take it easy, Conan. Wrap it up. Yeah, yeah.
Ron Chernow
But you know, in fact, he said. Because, you know, he said, livy edited my manuscripts and then she edited me.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah.
Ron Chernow
And she kind of really gave him a life. And, you know, in many ways, she was a long suffering wife. He loses her inheritance. We have extensive correspondence between them. She never, never threw it in his face.
Conan O'Brien
He apologizes a lot. I mean, another word I wrote down after, when I was reading the book, I wrote down guilt. He has so much guilt today about. He convinces his brother to become a steamboat captain. He says, this is great. I love doing this. And his brother's then killed in an explosion of a steamboat. And so, so Twain blames himself. Twain blames himself for so many things. When his daughter dies, he's not there because he's trying to raise money, because he's lost all the money. So he blames himself for that. And you just think of almost like Marley and Dickens, he's got these chains of guilt that he's carrying around with him that go back to early childhood that. And somehow he's fighting against that.
Ron Chernow
No, you're absolutely. I mean, the saddest one is that he and Libby, their first child was a boy who was named Langdon, which was her maiden name. And langdon died at 18 months. And what happened was that they were at the Langdon place in Elmira in New York. And one chilly morning in May, they went out driving and Twain fell, that he had not wrapped the baby up enough in this chilly weather. And they came back and the baby had a cold. But then the baby recovered and they went to Hartford. And after they went to Hartford, the baby died of diphtheria. Mark Twain told William Dean Howells, who is his closest literary friend, he said, I killed Langdon. He was convinced that that ride in.
Conan O'Brien
The carriage when it was emphatically not that.
Ron Chernow
Emphatically not the case. Yeah. In fact, his sister in law, Sue Crane, afterwards said, you know, they left Elmira and went to Hartford because the baby was better the baby was fine. So he had this tendency to flagellate himself, you know, and take responsibility. And it was really kind of crazy, you know, what happened with Susie, the eldest daughter, that he was not, you know, there at the time. They had just come back from this round the world tour. There was no cure for meningit at the time. You know, his being there would not really have helped matters. And in fact, she was sort of delirious and raving.
Conan O'Brien
It's really. I mean, it's Shakespearean. She's one. He's built this massive house, which is. By the way, you can go see it.
Ron Chernow
Yeah, it's still there.
Conan O'Brien
And it's absolutely beautiful. Kind of almost garish. It's like this insane. It's. It. Someone said it looks like it's a.
Ron Chernow
Steamboat or cross between a steamboat and a cuckoo clock.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah. But I mean, you would go crazy for it. It's the kind of thing you and I would tour and go crazy for. And it's not a little. It's not unlike Theodore Roosevelt's house in Oyster Bay. This just big, long thing that people built back then. Massive, huge ceilings, lots of flourishes, Lots of different colored stone and bricks. But that was their joy, I think. They lived there for 17 years. 17 years, that's right. And then they have to leave it. Cause they can't afford to live there. They banish themselves to Europe. And then, of course, she's there at some point, alone, wandering around, dying, going from room to room. And all the furniture is covered up with blankets. And you're just like, oh, my God, this is. I mean, the sadness that he endures in the later part of his life. It's just like a boxer being hit over and over and over again.
Ron Chernow
It's interesting because he's a novelist. And I think that he himself becomes a character perhaps greater than any of his creations. I think the life he lives is a story actually more dramatic than any that he created. And it's full of light and shadow. Because it's full of literary triumphs, to be sure. Full of personal calamities. And I haven't had a chance to tell you just how much I loved your speech that you gave for the Mark Twain Award. Because I think that I was so glad, just the tone of it. Because Mark Twain was much more than just a humorist. He was a sage. He was a moralist. He was a conscience. He was a conscience of the person. I think that you really touched on that Very, very. Exactly. But it's interesting because we know Mark Twain is a humorist and we tend to think of him with the white suit and the cigar. But Mark Twain said a couple of things about life. He said life is a tragedy with comedy distributed here and there only to heighten and magnify the pain by contrast.
Conan O'Brien
Unbelievable. Yeah.
Ron Chernow
And then he also said that life is a fever dream with sweetness embittered by sorrow and pleasure poisoned by pain. I know you're all going to go off and jump off a bridge after telling you these comments that he made.
Conan O'Brien
I mean, it's so funny because you have this quote and I underlined a few things in the book because it's the later parts that really got to me. At the end of his life, he's pretty much saying, I didn't do any of this. This was not, you know, you can't think of a more self made man. There's Lincoln, there's Twain, there's a couple of like great self made people who just comes from absolute, you know, nothing and is this force of nature. And you think, well, he really made himself. And at the end of his life he's saying, I. It was just impulses, urges, I just did things and now here I am and now my life's over and it all meant nothing. I mean, that's kind of his philosophy. You said this here in his work. He thought, he bravely said what he knew to be true, but hadn't dared to voice, that the mind is a machine, that we mistake instinct for original thought, that free will is a farce, that our lives are predetermined by outside forces and that all acts are selfishly motivated. It's funny that struck a chord with me because in the last couple of years I've had this thought that's just been rattling around my head where people have said, hey, you've been around for a while and you've done some cool things. And I think I didn't do any of it. I don't know why the fuck. Sorry for the language, but Sona does the writing.
Ron Chernow
I've heard the language before.
Conan O'Brien
Please, Mr. Chernow, I apologize. Sona writes these things for me and I'm not gonna say this other stuff.
Sona Movsesian
Would you please substitute with breeches?
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, yeah. But you know, in my own opinion, I think I can't explain any of it. I just have had these crazy, impulsive drives and impulses and maybe it is glandular, you know what I mean? At the end of the day, what did I do? I don't know what I did, but. And certainly it's and it's 1/1 millionth of what Twain did. But it's, it's funny that at the end of his life he won't take credit for anything. And he thinks that we're all just in the void. He's very.
Ron Chernow
Yeah, he has this kind of deterministic view that we're just kind of machines and they're stimuli and we react to it. That we're really not creating anything. The funny thing is Conan that someone reading that if it had not been written by Mark Twain that would have said, well what about Mark Twain? Mark Twain would have been know the best example of the fact that there is true originality in the world.
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Conan O'Brien
He's obsessed with the idea that Shakespeare didn't write any of it, that it was all Francis Bacon.
Ron Chernow
Yeah, he actually gets up after and.
Conan O'Brien
Can'T let that go.
Ron Chernow
I know you can't let it go. Yeah. And he gets up after. He's watching a performance of Romeo and Juliet with a friend and he gets up at the end and he says to the friend, that was the best thing Francis Bacon ever wrote. He was convinced that his discovery that Francis Bacon had written it said it's the great discovery of the age. He wrote.
Conan O'Brien
I couldn't help but wonder if it was a little bit of professional jealousy. Like, you know, there's no way that guy did all that.
Ron Chernow
You know, he, he loved the play. And I think what misled him is that, you know, as Mark Twain became famous, reporters were constantly, you know, flocking to Hannibal, Missouri and other places that he had had lived. So like everyone who ever knew Mark Twain was injured 25 times. And he couldn't figure out why there wasn't that same kind of trove of anecdotes and why weren't the people in Stratford telling all these stories about if.
Conan O'Brien
Shakespeare was doing all this, why weren't they writing? Why aren't they the anecdotes about. There's so many anecdotes about me. There'd be that many anecdotes about Shakespeare. And you're like, well, no, no, it.
Ron Chernow
Was, it was a different time.
Conan O'Brien
Different time.
Ron Chernow
It was a different media environment and his life was covered so, so extensively and with kind of a handful of stories about Shakespeare. But if Shakespeare had lived in a different media environment, we would know everything about him. But. So Mark Twain wrongly extrapolated from it to Elizabethan times, but he actually wrote this book called the Shakespeare Dead that he thought was going to set the world on fire. It didn't. He also thought that John Bunyan had not written Pilgrim's Progress. He thought John Milton was, but. But maybe he didn't write his own.
Conan O'Brien
Works and he just projected. This is his guilt.
Ron Chernow
Yes, yes.
Conan O'Brien
It was all Livy. It was all his wife cranking it out.
Sona Movsesian
Was Bret Hart.
Conan O'Brien
Yeah, Bret Hart did it all. He was dead. But I just, you know, it's funny, I think of if Twain were alive today, he'd be on the Internet. He would be into every conspiracy he'd be. And also talk about a guy who you'd have to keep away from an infomercial, any pop up ad, anything. And Twain would be like, I've gotta have the abdominizer. Why, that's the darn cuteness. That's the best invention ever. You know. And Livy would be there saying, you bought 10,000 abdominizers, you know? You know what I mean? I've gotta have those gels in my shoes. A sneaker you can just step into.
Ron Chernow
I've gotta have it.
Conan O'Brien
But I mean, you could just shake weight. I gotta have the shake weight. I gotta have the shake weight. You gotta gel like Magellan. I like the way that rolls off the tongue. But he would just fall prey to every. You know, the word would get around soon. This is the guy. As it does as, you know, as the. These programs start to know, oh, this sucker is. You know, they're onto me. You know, they know that I like, you know, like a new kind of leather wallet that has like a little. They're onto me. So I'm just constantly bombarded with a new way to a little travel gizmo. I'm constantly being bombarded with those because the algorithm figures it out. They would have figured out Twain.
Ron Chernow
Well, I'm so curious if you were live today, if I can get to.
Conan O'Brien
Ask you if I was alive today.
Ron Chernow
That with Mark Twain there was just no filter whatsoever. There was no kind of political correctness. He really felt as a satirist, that everything was fair game. So that, for instance, when he wrote his first book, which turned out to be his bestselling book, called the Innocents Abroad, he went with these tourists, kind of early tourist cruise to Europe and the Holy Land. And he's just sounding off on all these things there in Italy. And he's making jokes about dwarves. He said, know, if you want to see, you know, dwarfs retail, go to Milan. If you want to see dwarves wholesale, go to Genoa. You know, all of these different things. Well, no one today would dare to make these sorts of jokes. And he really felt that the whole world was his, you know, field for humor. And I wonder how he would function today, you know, where we're much more sensitive, you know, about offending different groups.
Conan O'Brien
Well, I mean, I think.
Ron Chernow
Think.
Conan O'Brien
It'S a really interesting area because, as you know, you talk about it a lot in your book. Huck Finn is very controversial. On one hand, Ernest Hemingway said the American literature begins with Huck Finn. And many great writers have said that is the first great, great, truly great original American creative novel. And then. But it's got the N word in it countless times. Yet it also is exploring a real relationship between Jim and Huck. And Jim is not a cardboard character. And the N word is part of the dialect of that time. But for that reason, a lot of people say it should be banned, it shouldn't be read, or the word should be removed. And you think if he were alive today, he'd be canceled for things he did when he's 20 years old. I mean, in his personal correspondence, when he's writing about race before he's evolved. And that when I was reading that, I was thinking, we live in this era now where kids go online and do things, say things, and they get tagged. Like, you're the kid who said that. You're the kid that did this. You're the kid that sang that. You're the kid. And I don't know. There wouldn't be a Mark Twain. He'd have been. If this was somebody, he couldn't exist in a world that's keeping account where anyone can say, wait a minute, we just found something in your personal correspondence or in A speech you gave when you were 25. You're canceled. You're done.
Ron Chernow
Yeah. Mark Twain is a type of writer almost inconceivable today. He had no inhibitions. He felt no need to have any inhibitions.
Conan O'Brien
Although he was puritanical about sex.
Ron Chernow
Very puritanical about sex, which I totally get.
Conan O'Brien
And it's only late in life that he starts to kind of. I mean, that's another thing you bring up in the book. And I don't know that we have the time to go into it, but it's a. It's a facet of his life. Late in life he is hanging around a lot of young women. When I say young women, ages what.
Ron Chernow
Like 10 to 16?
Conan O'Brien
10 to 16. And. And what's interesting about it is that there's no evidence that there was anything sexual about it.
Ron Chernow
Right.
Conan O'Brien
No one. And he seemed to. He was depressed. I'm not making excuses because it was strange. Everyone noticed it.
Ron Chernow
Yeah.
Conan O'Brien
What did he call them? He called them his angel fish. His angelfish. Oh God. And so he's having. And to the point where his wife and his kids are saying they're trying to suppress any of the information. You know, if there's a. If there's a. If there's a write up, he doesn't want the young kids around. But there is no evidence that it was anything other than him playing pool with them and liking to have them around. Because he loved the attention of. I mean, first of all, he was fascinated with childhood. He loved having the attention of these young women who kind of adored him. Yeah, so. But it is kind of pathological.
Ron Chernow
Yeah, no, absolutely. I mean this is kind of a good.
Conan O'Brien
And who knows? We don't. I don't know, it could have kind.
Ron Chernow
Of the difference things were perceived then and now because he collects. And that was the term that he used that he collected a dozen of these girls. He called them his angelfish. They became members of his aquarium club.
Conan O'Brien
But they would come over with their mom, their dad or their governess.
Ron Chernow
He was very careful to incorporate the mothers, the grandmothers into this. There was nothing secretive. He actually flaunted it. Actually. One of the girls, Dorothy Quick, he met on the transatlantic liner. And when the docked in New York, there would always be a scrum of reporters waiting for Mark Twain in New York. And he gets off the boat with this 11 year old girl. And the next day, newspapers across the country, the headlines are, Mark Twain captive of little girl. And people found this a very kind of charming and avuncular Mark Twain he's written beautiful books about American children. Of course, he loves it. So so far from being secretive about it, he flaunted it. In fact, I tell the story in the book that one of his friends, who was a famous actress, came to dinner one day dressed as a 12 year old girl with kind of buttons and bows and everything because she wanted to be one of his angelfish. So this is the way it was kind of handled. People were reacting in this kind of very jovial way to it. Whereas we look at this behavior now and it's very disturbing, odd and disquieting. He never acted on it. I mean, it's very different. When I was doing the research, I read a book about Lewis Carroll, in the Case of Lewis Carroll, where superficially might seem similar, but Lewis Carroll collected nude photos and nude drawings of the girls. There was nothing like that with Twain. What the underlying dynamic was, I really don't know. But he had kind of enough control over himself. But he liked it. He would read aloud to them, they would play pool together. He did announce during his last three, four years of life, he said, I've worked hard enough in my life, I just now want to play. So it was like kind of a second childhood. But it's really strange and weird. I mean, I'm not here to defend it at all. It's really kind of very creepy. And I think that everyone who reads the book will have that reaction to it. But I also kind of have to, to describe in fairness to him, you know, what it was and what it wasn't.
Conan O'Brien
That is one of the things that I really love about the book is you're like Twain. You're not afraid to go everywhere. You're not afraid to look at everything. You're clearly awed and impressed by this guy. You are also. You're exploring every nook and cranny there are. He was, you know, when I keep saying he was, people like to think of him as this emoji. He was a great, you know, I'm thinking of people like Lyndon Johnson who embodied greatness, but their flaws are also great. You know, which has been so well documented by Carol.
Ron Chernow
You had a wonderful line in your Kennedy science speech. You said, talked about the colossal mess of being human. You know, that's kind of what Twain is about. You know, he was once asked how he knew so much about human nature because he traveled a lot, he had a lot of people. He said, oh no, no, it's I look into myself. He felt that every human being has all of nature inside himself or herself. And I think that that's true, you know, that we can feel that we act on certain impulses, but we have inside of us almost every impulse. I think it's why you even watch a movie about some crime or something and we can sort of imagine one side of ourself cast identify with it. We control that. We control that.
Conan O'Brien
So you want to kill and kill again, isn't it?
Ron Chernow
No, no.
Conan O'Brien
We getting this.
Ron Chernow
I've been accused of a lot of things, not yet of being a serial killer, but somehow.
Conan O'Brien
Hold on a second. I've got your travel records. Some suspicious behavior. Well, the book is a delight. You've done it again. Mark Twain and I. He's just. I mean, the sign to me of a great biography is that there's no way to completely capture this guy. But I think, I think this is going to be the standard bearer. I think you're going to. You need to read this book. You need to read this book because it's not just about Mark Twain. It's also about America. It's also about where we were then, and it's also somewhat about where we are now. So I congratulate you and huge thrill to have you on the podcast because I love this stuff. I do.
Ron Chernow
Oh, I feel like it's a privilege to be with you and the whole group today. And I feel like you really have done honor to the book and to Mark Twain. So thank you for reading it and reading it so closely and attentively. It's really been a great experience.
Conan O'Brien
I guess we all win then.
Sona Movsesian
Conan o' Brien needs a With Conan o' Brien, Sonam of Session and Matt Gourley produced by me, Matt Gourley executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow. Theme song by the White Stripes, incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples, engineering and mixing by Eduardo and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Brit Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the Team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too could be featured on a future episode. You can also get three free months of SiriusXM when you sign in up@siriusxm.com Conan and if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O' Brien. Needs a friend. Wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
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Podcast Information:
Summary: In this enlightening episode of Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend, host Conan O’Brien sits down with Pulitzer Prize-winning biographer Ron Chernow to delve deep into Chernow’s latest work—a comprehensive biography of the illustrious American humorist, Mark Twain. The conversation navigates through Chernow's extensive career, the intricacies of Twain's life, and the broader implications of Twain's work in contemporary society.
[01:19] Ron Chernow:
"Hello, my name is Ron Giorno, and I feel very, very warmly about anyone who has won the Mark Twain award for humor."
Chernow introduces himself with warmth, highlighting his admiration for Twain and Conan himself. Conan acknowledges his passion for history and expresses his admiration for Chernow's meticulous research, having read all of his biographies, including the new Mark Twain biography.
[03:09] Conan O'Brien:
"You start out by writing about JP Morgan and this great Gilded Age industrialist... and then you go back to the beginning, the source who's running finance in America."
Conan traces Chernow's biographical trajectory, noting how his interest in industrial titans like JP Morgan and Rockefeller led him back to foundational figures like Alexander Hamilton. This segues into a discussion about Chernow’s influence on Lin-Manuel Miranda's Hamilton.
[04:34] Ron Chernow:
"People always say to me... did you imagine as you were writing the book that it was going to end up as a hip hop musical? And I always say, I think the question answers itself."
Chernow recounts how Miranda approached him with the idea of adapting Hamilton into a hip-hop musical, leading to the groundbreaking Broadway phenomenon. He shares an anecdote about Miranda performing a condensed version of his book at his brownstone, foreshadowing the musical’s success.
[08:15] Ron Chernow:
"You have written about J.P. Morgan, Rockefeller... but writing about Ulysses S. Grant was something different."
The conversation shifts to Chernow's biography of Ulysses S. Grant, where he explores Grant's transformation from a struggling woodcutter to a celebrated Civil War general. Chernow emphasizes Grant's depiction of failure and resilience.
[10:16] Conan O'Brien:
"If you saw it in a movie, you'd say, well, we gotta fix that part... it's absolutely astounding."
Conan marvels at the rapid ascent of Grant, highlighting the improbability of his rise and the remarkable shift in his fortunes within a short span.
[12:18] Ron Chernow:
"Mark Twain is more than just a humorist. He was a sage, a moralist, the conscience of American society."
Chernow introduces his latest biography of Mark Twain, portraying him as a multifaceted figure whose life mirrored the complexities of America itself. The discussion delves into Twain's evolution from a Southerner with antebellum beliefs to a progressive thinker opposing imperialism and racism.
[16:59] Ron Chernow:
"Twain was very outspoken. He wrote against imperialism, defended the Jews, and supported women's suffrage."
Chernow underscores Twain's role as a vocal critic of societal injustices, highlighting his courage to voice unpopular opinions during his time.
[22:11] Conan O'Brien:
"He is obsessive, he is nonstop... He would just sometimes stand up, sometimes write at the billiards table..."
The conversation shifts to Twain’s personality—his relentless drive and obsessive nature that led him to numerous, often unsuccessful, business ventures. Chernow illustrates how Twain's inability to let go of his schemes resulted in significant financial losses.
[27:34] Conan O'Brien:
"There's no Airbnb. And shout out to Airbnb."
Conan humorously contrasts Twain's lavish lifestyles and extravagant spending with modern conveniences, emphasizing the impracticality of Twain's financial decisions.
[30:24] Ron Chernow:
"Twain couldn't let go of grievances. If you can't let go, the one who's going to end up being victimized by it is you."
Chernow delves into Twain's personal tragedies, including the loss of his children and the strain it placed on his mental health. He discusses Twain's pervasive guilt over events like his brother's death and the impact of his relentless self-critique.
[43:21] Conan O'Brien:
"He convinces his brother to become a steamboat captain... he blames himself for so many things."
Conan highlights Twain’s tendency to internalize blame, presenting him as a figure tormented by his past and the weight of his decisions.
[47:21] Ron Chernow:
"Mark Twain said life is a tragedy with comedy distributed here and there..."
The discussion explores Twain's philosophical outlook, particularly his deterministic views where he perceived humans as machines responding to stimuli, questioning the existence of free will.
[50:42] Ron Chernow:
"We have a secret and sincere positions on things, and then we have the positions that we take publicly for our own safety."
Chernow connects Twain’s insights on groupthink and societal pressures to contemporary issues, reflecting on how Twain’s observations remain relevant today.
[53:16] Conan O'Brien:
"He was having relationships with young girls, which today would be considered disturbing and creepy."
Chernow addresses the more troubling aspects of Twain's later years, including his platonic but controversial relationships with young girls, termed as “angelfish.” He clarifies that there was no evidence of sexual misconduct but acknowledges the discomfort such behaviors evoke in modern contexts.
[59:23] Conan O'Brien:
"He was fascinated with childhood and loved the attention of young women who adored him."
Conan reflects on Twain’s motives, suggesting a psychological component to his interactions with younger girls, while Chernow provides further context on the nature of these relationships.
[55:55] Ron Chernow:
"Twain is a type of writer almost inconceivable today."
The discussion turns to how Twain’s unabashed humor and lack of political correctness would be received in today’s more sensitive and socially conscious environment. Chernow muses on whether Twain would be "canceled" for his earlier prejudiced views despite his later progressive stance.
[57:58] Conan O'Brien:
"When Twain was alive today, he'd be on the Internet with every conspiracy theory under the sun."
Conan humorously speculates on how Twain's personality and proclivities would manifest in the digital age, blending his historical persona with modern-day behaviors.
[64:34] Ron Chernow:
"It’s a privilege to be with you and the whole group today."
As the episode wraps up, Conan commends Chernow for his exhaustive and nuanced portrayal of Mark Twain, emphasizing the biography's impact on understanding not just Twain but also the American zeitgeist.
[64:28] Conan O’Brien:
"You need to read this book because it's not just about Mark Twain. It's also about America."
Conan highlights the broader significance of Chernow’s work, underscoring its relevance to contemporary discussions on American identity, societal values, and historical legacy.
Notable Quotes:
Ron Chernow [04:34]:
"I think the question answers itself."
(Referring to Miranda adapting his book into a musical.)
Ron Chernow [12:18]:
"Mark Twain is more than just a humorist. He was a sage, a moralist, the conscience of American society."
Ron Chernow [16:59]:
"Twain was very outspoken. He wrote against imperialism, defended the Jews, and supported women's suffrage."
Ron Chernow [30:24]:
"If you can't let go, the one who's going to end up being victimized by it is you."
Ron Chernow [47:21]:
"Mark Twain said life is a tragedy with comedy distributed here and there..."
Conan O’Brien [57:58]:
"When Twain was alive today, he'd be on the Internet with every conspiracy theory under the sun."
This episode offers a profound exploration of Mark Twain's life through Ron Chernow's expert lens, blending historical analysis with personal anecdotes to present a comprehensive and engaging portrait of the American literary giant.