Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Snack Attack III: Rise of the Meat Flute

Team Coco & Earwolf | September 18, 2025

Episode Overview

In this uproarious installment, Conan, Sona Movsesian, Matt Gourley, and producer Aaron Blaylock reconvene to address the podcast’s now legendary "snack basket" saga. Following fan-fueled mockery of the so-called "meat flute," the team embarks on a ridiculous but earnest quest to invent (and market) a protein-packed, possibly musical snack for celebrity guests. The episode is filled with improvisational banter, failed food experiments, and an unfiltered exploration of just how weird "merch" can get, careening through innuendo and physical comedy.

Key Points & Segments

1. The Snack Basket Backstory

[01:51 – 02:55]

• The episode stems from prior criticisms Conan made about the unappealing, health-focused snack baskets for podcast guests—items like kale chips and mushroom jerky remain untouched, even by the office rats.
• Conan: “We had rats here at Larchmont who were starving to death. I opened the snacks and put them out for the rats, and they left a note that said, fuck you in beautiful calligraphy.” [02:27]

2. Birth of the 'Meat Flute' Concept

[02:55 – 05:40]

• Conan’s ongoing call for more protein led the team to brainstorm the creation of a “meat flute”—an edible, whimsical snack with potential musical properties.
• Fans responded enthusiastically, mocking up packaging and even T-shirts, with Conan eager to control the “revenue stream.”
• Conan: “Once I have my lips wrapped around an idea this good, I don't let go.” [24:25]

3. Fan Submissions & Merch

[04:39 – 07:34]

• Listeners sent in photoshopped meat flute packaging and fan art.
• They also received a T-shirt from fan Carrie London’s company ‘Hoosties,’ emblazoned with “Conan’s Meat Flute: All proceeds go to benefit Conan and Conan-related shenanigans.”
• Group gleefully debates the shirt’s art and whether it’s unintentionally risqué.
• Sona: “You're playing the meat flute here... it doesn't look like you’re playing it. It looks like you’re fellating it.” [07:09]

4. Is It Musical? Debating the Meat Flute’s Design

[09:01 – 17:38]

• Internally engineered meat flutes are revealed—literal sticks of preserved beef with holes poked through, intended to double as wind instruments.
• Both comedic and genuine attempts are made to play music with these meat creations, yielding only meaty noises.
• Matt: “You two are blowing into sticks of beef. Grown men blowing into sticks of meat.” [11:45]

5. Escalation: Enter the Meat Professionals

[18:38 – 22:34]

• A "professional-grade" meat flute from a real meat company is introduced, supposedly only edible “below the rope.”
• More attempts to produce music result in existential self-loathing and laughter.
• Conan: “I've never been this embarrassed on the—oh, wait a minute. Oh. Kind of something.” [20:46]
• Manufacturer is anonymous, humorously distancing themselves from the product.
• Sona: “They clearly don't want us to mention them. They made this but don't want to have anything to do with it.” [22:37]

6. Philosophy, Failure, and the Future

[22:44 – 25:29]

• Conan reflects on meat flute development, likening it to the Space Race:
  “We do this not because it’s easy, but because it’s hard... I will stay alive to be 150 years old to make this happen. I’m arbitrarily making this the dream of my life and the only purpose of my life.” [23:31]
• The team debates logistics (should you start with the meat or the instrument?), pitches for angel investors, and Conan refuses to let go of the idea, despite universal skepticism.
• Conan: “Once I have my lips wrapped around an idea this good, I go. You know what I mean?” [24:25]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [02:27] Conan: “We had rats... I opened the snacks and put them out for the rats, and they left a note that said, fuck you in beautiful calligraphy.”
• [07:09] Sona: “You're playing the meat flute here... it doesn't look like you’re playing it. It looks like you’re fellating it.”
• [09:30] Conan (riffing on personal anatomy): “My penis has five holes in it. I worked at a Swingline stapler factory... It was no pants day... the year was 1988...”
• [11:45] Matt: “You two are blowing into sticks of beef. Grown men blowing into sticks of meat...”
• [23:31] Conan (on making the meat flute ‘work’): “I will stay alive to be 150 years old to make this happen. I’m arbitrarily making this the dream of my life and the only purpose of my life.”
• [24:25] Conan (in full innuendo): “Once I have my lips wrapped around an idea this good, I go, you know what I mean?... I'll go to my knees for this, and that's a promise. I'll put my hair back with a scrunchie and I'll get to work until this is done... And if anyone reads into this, you're disgusted, disgusting. You're fucking disgusting people.”

Flow & Tone

The episode is a rapid-fire, running gag-fest marked by:

• Go-for-broke physical comedy (actually trying to play and eat “meat flutes”)
• Ongoing, escalating innuendo, almost meta in its self-mockery
• Equal parts workshopping and satire of entrepreneurial, "side hustle" culture
• COSMIC POINT: Conan’s persona as a man obsessed with a fundamentally bad idea, refusing all reason

Essential Listening Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Highlight | |-------------|------------------------------| | 01:51 | Snack basket critique begins | | 02:55 | Meat flute idea developed | | 04:39 | Fan merch and mockups | | 07:09 | Hilarious shirt/innuendo debate| | 09:01 | Meat flute prototypes unveiled| | 11:45 | Grown men try to play meat | | 18:38 | Professional meat flute arrives| | 22:44 | Where do we go from here? | | 23:31 | Conan’s “meat flute” space race| | 24:25 | Conan’s climactic vow |

Final Thoughts

This episode is a comic masterclass in escalation, riffing, and forcing a joke far past its logical endpoint. The “meat flute” goes from a throwaway line to elaborate props, merchandise, and self-lacerating parody of Conan’s ambition. You don’t need to have heard previous “Snack Attack” episodes to appreciate the ridiculous commitment and chemistry between Conan and his cohosts. Memorably absurd, self-aware, and packed with laugh-out-loud moments, “Rise of the Meat Flute” is peak Conan podcasting.