Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Episode: Staff Review With Laurie Kilmartin

Date: March 19, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, Conan continues his recent tradition of interviewing long-time staff instead of fans or celebrity guests. He chats with writer and stand-up comedian Laurie Kilmartin, who has helped Conan craft Oscar jokes and has played an integral role in his writing team both for TV and live events. The episode offers a behind-the-scenes look into their creative process, life as a comedy writer and performer, and the ups and downs of prepping for a major awards show. The tone is playful, candid, and filled with the typical sharp wit that defines Conan and Laurie’s dynamic.

Key Discussion Points

1. Laurie Kilmartin’s Journey to Conan’s Team

• Starting Out in Comedy:

  • Laurie describes dropping out of UCLA (where she swam for the team) and starting stand-up in San Francisco after a personal low point. She was inspired less by great comics than by seeing bad ones and thinking, “Wait a minute. If that ass can do it, maybe I can too.” (05:33)
  • The community at Holy City Zoo and guidance from Jon Cantu deeply influenced her early days.

• Getting Hired:

  • Laurie submitted three writing packets—“The third one worked, I guess” (03:40)—before being hired for the TBS show.

2. Writing Jokes: For Conan vs. Stand-Up (07:41)

• Laurie explains the distinction between writing for herself vs. others:

  “There's never been a joke I've written for you or anybody else that I would have done myself.”

  • Writing for performers means finding jokes tailored to their voice, not her own.

• Playful Banter:

  • On the absurdity of Conan trying Laurie’s single-mom jokes:
    "You idiot, you never breastfed ... Kylie did, though. So he deserves to tell it." (08:36)

3. The Oscar Writing Process (09:34)

• Preparation and Flexibility:

  • Laurie and Conan reflect on how jokes must be in constant flux due to fast-changing news and cultural references.

    “You can't lock down what you're going to do a month out. ... Something we thought was funny in December is now—what were we thinking? That's not even something people think about anymore.” (09:54, Conan)

• Comic Fatigue:

  • Conan admits he gets bored quickly with material, even if the team thinks it's gold.

    “If something’s no longer magical and fun to me, I can’t fake it.” (11:09)

4. Performing in LA’s Stand-Up Scene (18:46)

• Club Diversity and Culture:

  • Conan and Laurie discuss the ecosystem of LA clubs—each with its own feel and community.

    “There’s this ecosystem in LA, all these cool little spots ... It’s very communal, it’s really fun.” (18:46, Conan)

  • Laurie regularly performs 4 nights a week, though in LA, logistically, it means just one spot per night.

• Surprise Sets:

  • Conan loves popping up unannounced at shows, enjoying the audience’s startled reaction:

    “They’re there and then suddenly I show up. ... You can always see them registering how I’ve aged when I get up there.” (20:12)

5. Moving Into “Show Time” Mode and Behind-the-Scenes Chaos

• Dolby Theater Move:

  • The shift from writing to on-site prep is a game changer. Conan recounts:

    “I remember that last year being, oh, wow, this is real.” (21:29)

  • Comedy writers end up in absurd logistical debates like, “How is the mule supposed to fire a rocket out of its ear?” (22:02)

• Celebrity Stand-Ins:

  • Funny recollection: Ariana Grande attended her own rehearsal, surprising the team who thought it was a “stand-in.”
  • Conan recalls being a seat-filler, once standing up to accept a fake David Bowie award (23:10)

6. The Writer’s Room Rituals (25:57)

• Organization vs. Chaos:

  • Lessons learned from last year: bring visual organization tools to keep track of jokes during the Oscars, instead of “flipping through cards and trying to ... it looked like we were doing illicit three card monte.” (24:04)
  • Prepping for every possible outcome—“it’s almost like coding: if this movie wins, we have this joke…” (24:29, Conan)

• Time-Wasting as Creative Fuel:

  • The group laughs about their tendency to get sidetracked watching TV ("Just Like That") in the writers’ room, Conan justifies:

    “I maintain that wasting time is somehow useful if we’re all laughing, but I might just be trying to justify it.” (27:06)

7. The Perils of Over-Specific Premises

• Oscars Joke Setups:
  • Laurie gets teased for her elaborate setups:

    “Did you know Isabella Rossellini has a bed and breakfast in Rye, New York?”

  • Conan jokes about losing the audience with jokes rooted in obscure facts:

    “I look down, and one of the Skarsgards is just like, what the f***?” (28:47 - 29:22)

8. Gratitude and Wrap-Up

• Conan expresses genuine gratitude for Laurie’s contributions—reiterating that she’s “the best,” even joking about stealing her from Jimmy Kimmel.
• Laurie thanks both Conan and Jimmy Kimmel for letting her take the time to work Oscars season with Conan’s team.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Bad Comics Inspiring Careers

  Conan: “The true inspirations are people like, how did that ass get up there?” (05:59)

• On Writing Jokes for Others

  Laurie: "There's never been a joke I've written for you or anybody else that I would have done myself." (07:41)
  Conan: “You idiot, you never breastfed. ... Kylie did, though. So he deserves to tell it.” (08:36)

• On the Ever-Changing Show Landscape

  Conan: “You can't lock down what you're going to do a month out. ... Something we thought was funny in December is now—what were we thinking?” (09:54)

• On Stand-Up in Clubs

  Conan: “They’re there and then suddenly I show up. ... You can always see them registering how I’ve aged when I get up there.” (20:12)

• On Writer’s Room Chaos

  Conan: “We’re trying to try out these jokes and you’re going off on a 10 minutes about your brother Neil ... get to the jokes!” (11:59)
  Laurie: “We watched that [‘Just Like That’] for a half an hour, I think.” (27:23)

• On Oscars Prepping

  Conan: “If this movie wins, we have this great joke. If that movie loses, we have this great joke.” (24:29)

• On Niche Joke Premises

  Conan: “I look down, and one of the Skarsgards is just like, what the f***?” (28:59)

Segment Timestamps

• Laurie’s Comedy Origins: 03:40 – 06:48
• Writing for Conan vs. Self: 07:41 – 08:45
• Oscar Joke Process & Writer Dynamics: 09:34 – 12:52
• Performing in LA Clubs: 18:46 – 20:57
• Production Moves to Dolby Theater: 21:28 – 23:42
• Writer’s Room Rituals & Chaos: 25:57 – 27:15
• Overly Specific Oscars Jokes: 28:47 – 30:15
• Gratitude & Closing: 30:17 – 30:56

Conclusion

This episode offers a funny, affectionate, and revealing look at what it takes to create comedy for TV and high-pressure live events, especially the Oscars. Laurie Kilmartin’s candor about stand-up and writing, paired with Conan’s restless comedic energy, makes for an entertaining, insider’s conversation—complete with industry war stories, self-deprecating banter, and a clear love of comedy. Listeners gain an appreciation for the chaos, precision, and camaraderie behind the punchlines that eventually land before millions.