Podcast Title: Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
Host/Author: Team Coco & Earwolf
Episode: The Conan and Jordan Show – Painting The Barn
Release Date: July 11, 2025

Introduction

In this episode of Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend, Conan O’Brien engages in his unique and humorous conversation with longtime colleague and friend, Jordan Schlansky. The episode, titled Painting The Barn, delves into their intricate dynamics, mutual observations, and shared experiences, all delivered with the trademark wit and banter that fans have come to love.

Main Discussion

Paparazzi Encounter and Physical Observations

The episode kicks off with Conan discussing a paparazzi video featuring Jordan walking in Central Park South, 59th Street. Conan meticulously dissects Jordan's posture and gait, highlighting the deliberate and confident manner in which Jordan navigates his environment.

• Conan (04:17): “I spotted a paparazzo video of you. You are, in fact, an A-list celebrity.”

• Conan (04:37): “Your ass cheeks are gyrating from side to side because you're walking with such purpose.”

Jordan humorously counters Conan’s extensive analysis of his walk, expressing skepticism and disbelief at Conan’s detailed observations.

• Jordan (07:49): “I think that your mind is so deliberate... your ass presents itself.”

This segment showcases Conan's penchant for over-analyzing mundane events, turning a simple walk into a comedic deep dive into human behavior.

Travel Memories: Austria Trip

The conversation shifts to recounting their trip to Austria, highlighting the cultural experiences and the impact it had on their relationship.

• Conan (21:29): “I find myself inspired by and I feel like I can learn a lot, not from necessarily what you say, but just how you conduct yourself.”

Jordan expresses his own humorous take on Conan's admiration, maintaining his characteristic stoicism.

• Jordan (28:25): “I've taken in what you said, and I appreciate it. But I thought it was a little out of place.”

Their shared memories of Austria serve as a foundation for exploring the nuances of their friendship, blending genuine sentiment with comedic tension.

Culinary Preferences: Wiener Schnitzel and Fiber Intake

A significant portion of the episode delves into their culinary preferences, particularly focusing on Conan’s love for Wiener schnitzel and his meticulous approach to maintaining a balanced diet.

• Conan (24:28): “Protein, carbohydrates, and fiber.”

Jordan humorously dismisses Conan's dietary regiment, showcasing their differing approaches to food.

• Jordan (24:23): “I'm going to pretend to find this interesting.”

This segment provides insight into Conan's humorous obsession with healthy eating while highlighting Jordan's more laid-back attitude towards diet.

Water Tasting Segment

One of the standout moments of the episode is the blind taste test of different types of water, emphasizing Conan's deep appreciation for the nuances in water composition.

• Conan (34:20): “One of the most defining characteristics about water is how many total dissolved solids are in them expressed in parts per million, also known as TDS.”

• Jordan (38:15): “You fool... You bungled the operation. I like the Pricklin.”

Conan's enthusiasm for sparkling versus flat water leads to a playful confrontation where Jordan teases him for overcomplicating something as simple as water tasting. The chemistry between the two is palpable, blending genuine friendship with light-hearted mockery.

Insights and Highlights

• Friendship Dynamics: The episode beautifully captures the complexities of Conan and Jordan's friendship. While Conan openly admires Jordan’s qualities, Jordan maintains his reserved demeanor, creating a dynamic that is both entertaining and endearing.

• Humor in Everyday Observations: Conan's ability to find humor in the mundane, such as walking or drinking water, adds a layer of depth to the conversation, making listeners appreciate the subtle intricacies of their interactions.

• Cultural Appreciation: Through their discussion of the Austria trip, the episode highlights their mutual respect for each other's backgrounds and preferences, reinforcing the theme of seeking genuine friendship beyond superficial interactions.

Notable Quotes

• Conan (04:37): “Your ass cheeks are gyrating from side to side because you're walking with such purpose.”

• Jordan (07:05): “Do you see a normal person walking? Yeah, I don't see. I don't see what you see.”

• Conan (21:49): “I find myself inspired by and I feel like I can learn a lot... it's great to have someone like that in your life.”

• Conan (34:10): “Total expressed in parts per million, also known as TDS.”

• Jordan (38:15): “You fools. You fools. You've bungled it.”

Conclusion

The Conan and Jordan Show – Painting The Barn offers a deep dive into the unique friendship between Conan O’Brien and Jordan Schlansky. Through their candid and humorous exchanges, listeners gain insight into their contrasting personalities, mutual respect, and the subtle underpinnings of their bond. The episode masterfully balances genuine admiration with playful teasing, encapsulating the essence of what makes Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend a beloved podcast.

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