The Prophet and The Reacharound with Special Guest Kevin Nealon

Summary

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Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend

Episode: The Prophet And The Reacharound
Date: February 12, 2026
Guests: Kevin Nealon, Christopher Hack (a.k.a. “The Prophet”)
Host: Conan O’Brien (with Sonam Obsessian and Matt Gourley)

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Overview

This episode features Conan, Kevin Nealon, and fan guest Christopher Hack, a veteran luchador from Tucson, Arizona known as “The Prophet.” The conversation blends playful banter with deep dives into wrestling personas, the realities of life as an independent wrestler, Chris’s transition into entrepreneurship, and a side serving of punk rock. As always, Conan and Kevin riff with a blend of goofy improvisation and sincere curiosity, peppered with their trademark irreverence.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Introducing The Prophet (01:54–03:49)

• Conan and Kevin meet Christopher Hack, a fan calling in from Tucson, Arizona, who’s wrestled as a masked luchador named “The Prophet” for 27 years.
  • Kevin Nealon (02:28): "He wrestles himself."
• Christopher describes his character as having a mystique: quiet, straight to the point, not supernatural but intimidating.
  • Christopher Hack (03:19): “Very quiet. I'm just straight to the point. I get in the ring and do my job and just represent myself that way.”

Signature Move & Wrestling Persona (03:28–04:16)

• Chris’s finishing move is called “The Prophecy.”
  • Christopher Hack (03:31): "I hook their arm over mine. I pick them up sideways like a body slam. I swing their body out and sit down and slam it."
• Conan jokes about how this “prophecy” would liven up religious scripture references.

Wrestling Injuries & Rhabdomyolysis Experience (04:19–06:46)

• Chris details a serious injury: a broken elbow, and bizarrely, having suffered from rhabdomyolysis, a condition causing his urine to turn black due to muscle breakdown.
  • Christopher Hack (04:54): “My muscles were breaking down...my urine was black.”
• Conan and Kevin riff on how this could have been used as a wrestling gimmick (e.g., “The Squid” who sprays black sludge).

The Evolution of His Wrestling Character (07:28–08:38)

• Chris turned from hero (face) to villain (heel) late in his career and even fought a “false prophet,” portrayed by one of his trainees in a one-year storyline.
  • Christopher Hack (07:53): “The coolest thing I've done storyline wise was I had a feud against myself, the false prophet.”

Formative Influences: Mormon Roots and Three 6 Mafia (08:56–09:38)

• Chris grew up Mormon, which influenced his “Prophet” character, but also admits he was inspired by the rap group Three 6 Mafia and their record label, Profit Entertainment.

Wrestling Career Transition & New Entrepreneurship (09:45–12:15)

• After health issues, Chris hasn’t wrestled in two years but is still involved by renting out wrestling rings and moving into food entrepreneurship.
  • He’s started “Lucha Fresca Fight Fresh,” a line of aguas frescas drinks with bold branding and local-market sales.
  • Conan O’Brien (10:24): “I would drink Lucha Fresca…I could do an ad for you.”
• Discussion about packaging and marketing ensues, Kevin emphasizing the importance of visual appeal.

Spanish Proficiency and Product Marketing (12:31–12:39)

• Chris shares that he's been practicing Spanish for four years on Duolingo, partially tied to his business and wrestling identity.

Wrestling Retirement and Passing the Torch (17:03–17:18)

• Chris isn’t officially retired and still trains newer wrestlers, echoing the “never-say-never” ethos of wrestling.
  • Christopher Hack (17:06): “In the wrestling business, even if you retire, you don’t because you always get sucked back in.”

Conan’s Luchador Experience (18:18–19:40)

• Conan reminisces about his “Gallo Loco” (Crazy Rooster) gimmick on his Mexico City episode, which Chris praises.
  • Christopher Hack (18:54): “I've seen it multiple times. I love all your travel shows, and that episode means a lot to me.”

Favorite Wrestlers and Influences (21:21–22:39)

• Chris names Mick Foley (for his sacrifice and hardcore style) and Rey Mysterio Jr. (for inspiration as a luchador) as his favorites.
  • Conan and Kevin reflect that comedy and wrestling both involve identifying and following your idols.

Comic Influences and Monologue Style (22:08–23:23)

• Kevin and Conan share their own comedic heroes—Andy Kaufman, Albert Brooks, Steve Martin—relating their journeys to Chris’s wrestling path.

The Tag Team Hypothetical & “The Reacharound” (23:53–26:15)

• Chris asks what Conan and Kevin’s tag team persona would be:
  • Kevin proposes “The Amoebas,” morphing into “Siamese Twins” fighting in one costume, joking about tag moves called “the reacharound.”
  • Kevin Nealon (25:03): “We call that move, the little reach around.”
  • Sonam adds: they'd be the most hated duo due to constant bickering and bits.

Christopher’s Punk Rock Band & Creative Output (26:19–27:47)

• Chris is also the drummer for Tucson-based punk band “Planet Strict 9,” recording 20 tracks and performing locally.

Closing, Shout-outs, and Final Thoughts (27:53–28:03)

• Chris plugs his company “Rockstar Wrestling Alliance,” which combines his music and wrestling passions.
  • Christopher Hack (27:53): “I just want to shout out my company, it's called Rockstar Wrestling alliance, because I do music and wrestling and put it together.”
• Kevin quickly promotes his art (“KevinNealonArt.com”), evoking further friendly teasing.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Signature Move
  • Christopher Hack (03:31): “I pick them up sideways like a body slam. I swing their body out and sit down and slam it.”
• Conan on Comic Prophecy
  • Conan O’Brien (04:05): “Can I say something that is a greater prophecy than anything I’ve read in the Old or New Testament?... If those were the prophecies, people would really pay attention.”
• On Wrestling Injuries
  • Christopher Hack (04:54): “My muscles were breaking down...my urine was black.”
  • Kevin Nealon (04:54): “And that’s bad?”
• On Wrestling Personas and Storylines
  • Christopher Hack (08:04): “We had a feud against myself, the false prophet...we had a series of matches and were playing tricks.”
• On Life After Wrestling
  • Christopher Hack (17:06): “In the wrestling business, even if you retire, you don’t because you always get sucked back in.”
• On Founders’ Spirit
  • Christopher Hack (21:05): “Everything I do to this day is basically out of necessity to get me to the next spot in life where I’m trying to go.”
• Conan and Kevin’s Tag Team Gimmick
  • Kevin Nealon (25:03): “We call that move, the little reach around.”
  • Conan O’Brien (25:06): “Yeah, it’s called the reach around.”
• On Punk Ethos
  • Christopher Hack (27:03): “You could get down to that, but you might get hit in the face.”

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Notable Timestamps for Segments

• 01:54 — Introduction to Christopher Hack
• 03:28 — Christopher describes signature move, The Prophecy
• 04:54 — The story of rhabdomyolysis and black urine
• 07:28 — Turning heel and the “false prophet” storyline
• 08:56 — Influence of Mormonism and Three 6 Mafia
• 09:54 — Chris’s transition into the food business with Lucha Fresca
• 17:03 — Wrestling retirement talk; teaching new wrestlers
• 18:42 — Conan’s lucha libre experience discussion
• 21:21 — Favorite wrestlers and inspiration
• 23:53 — Tag team hypothetical: The Amoebas/The Reacharound
• 26:19 — Chris and Planet Strict 9, his punk band
• 27:53 — Plugs: Rockstar Wrestling Alliance, Kevin Nealon’s art

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Tone and Atmosphere

Chaotic, playful, and affectionate. Conan and Kevin regularly interrupt each other and their guest, sometimes getting sidetracked in bits that lampoon both themselves and the world of wrestling. While the jokes come rapid-fire, there is authentic admiration for Chris’s wrestling career and entrepreneurial spirit. Always, the absurdity is underlined with real respect for fans and passion projects.

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Summary

In this episode, Conan, Kevin, and Sonam welcome Christopher Hack, a Tucson-based luchador known as “The Prophet.” Chris recounts his long wrestling career, health struggles, memorable storylines, and creative hustles, splitting time between building wrestling rings, launching a drinks business, and playing drums in a punk band. Conan and Kevin riff on wrestling gimmicks ("the reach around"), support Chris’s entrepreneurial journey, and swap stories about heroes—personal and professional. The episode is an energetic blend of genuine inspiration and warm, relentless comedy.

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Transcript

[Conan O'Brien]

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[Sonam Obsessian]

Conan o' Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com call Conan. Okay, let's get started. Hey, Chris. Welcome to Conan Needs a fan with Conan and special guest Kevin Nealon.

[Conan O'Brien]

Kevin Nealon's joining us today. Chris, how are you?

[Christopher Hack]

I'm doing well. Yourselves?

[Kevin Nealon]

Oh, great.

[Conan O'Brien]

We're doing okay. Where are you coming to us from, Chris?

[Christopher Hack]

The Dirty Tea T. Tucktown Tucson, Arizona.

[Kevin Nealon]

Nice.

[Conan O'Brien]

All right. Wow.

[Kevin Nealon]

Tijuana.

[Conan O'Brien]

I know. And tell us a little bit about yourself. I just have a little scrap of paper here that says that you are a. This is impressive. You're a luchador, Is that right? You're a wrestler?

[Christopher Hack]

Yeah, I've been in the wrestling business for 27 years now.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. This is incredible. And you wrestle yourself? Do you have a.

[Kevin Nealon]

He wrestles himself.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, well, we've all done that.

[Kevin Nealon]

What is that all about? That's not very Fair.

[Conan O'Brien]

There's a fix in. He always throws it to himself. Christopher, you have a character, right, when you're wrestling?

[Christopher Hack]

Yeah, I'm fully masked. I have a character named the Prophet.

[Conan O'Brien]

The Prophet.

[Kevin Nealon]

That's a great name.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's a great name for. A great name for a wrestler. And do we have a photograph? I think we have a photograph of you. Oh, my God, look at this. Look at that. That is impressive. So, thank you. You are the Prophet. Tell us when you're in character as the. These are great.

[Kevin Nealon]

Geez, look at this.

[Conan O'Brien]

Tell us a little bit about this character, the Prophet. Are you someone who believes he's a prophet, or is your character really a prophet? Does he have magical powers? Can he see the future?

[Christopher Hack]

That's more of a mystique type thing. A very quiet. I'm just straight to the point. I get in the ring and do my job and just represent myself that way.

[Kevin Nealon]

Do you have a signature move? You do, Chris?

[Christopher Hack]

It's called the Prophecy.

[Kevin Nealon]

Oh, what does that involve?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, tell us about the prophecy. That sounds great. So this signature move is called the Prophecy, and at some point during your battle, you say, now it's time for the prophecy. And then what do you do?

[Christopher Hack]

So I hook their arm over mine. I pick them up sideways like a body slam. I swing their body out and sit down and slam it.

[Conan O'Brien]

My God, that's so prophetic. Can I say.

[Kevin Nealon]

So prophetic, man?

[Conan O'Brien]

Can I say something that is a greater prophecy than anything I've read in the Old or New Testament? And I think. I think if those were the prophecies, people would really pay attention. They'd be much more religion.

[Kevin Nealon]

Absolutely.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. That's very impressive.

[Christopher Hack]

Thank you.

[Conan O'Brien]

You have to be an amazing athlete to be a wrestler and to do it at the level that you've been doing it at for so long. Have you had some bad injuries? Tell us about that.

[Christopher Hack]

I think I've been pretty fortunate. But around 10 years in, I did break my elbow. I had to get surgery on that. But the weirdest thing that happened to me is I came down with a condition called rhabdomyolysis. And that's basically where my muscles were breaking down and being filtered through my kidneys. So my urine was black.

[Kevin Nealon]

And that's bad?

[Conan O'Brien]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not yet. Hear him out, Chris. Get to the bad part. Yeah, get to the part where it's really. I mean, I don't think it's someone. There's not a person here who's not peeing some black urine right now. But wait a minute. Why did this happen? Why? What is it about this condition? It breaks down your muscles and then converts it into a thick sludge that you then pee out.

[Kevin Nealon]

When you're. You do that while you're standing on the ropes in the corner. Is that some kind of a defense, like an oil sludge?

[Christopher Hack]

It's like a.

[Conan O'Brien]

You know, you should have done, Chris. You should have called your character. You should have called your character the Squid. And just whenever you're about to lose, you shoot out this black stream, and you're. You're. Your opponent is immediately immobilized.

[Kevin Nealon]

How many costumes do you have, Chris?

[Christopher Hack]

Probably around 15.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Kevin Nealon]

Do you have one for more of, like, a formal fight, or is it.

[Christopher Hack]

They're all the same, just different colors. And I'll.

[Conan O'Brien]

Before we. I want to show some empathy here. Kevin, just stop for a second.

[Kevin Nealon]

I'm loving it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I know you're loving it, but I wanted to make sure. Chris, how did you get rid of this terrible disease? And are you cured now? And then we'll get on to all the bits about.

[Kevin Nealon]

Have you got a cummerbund?

[Conan O'Brien]

You know.

[Christopher Hack]

So basically, do you ever wear a carnation?

[Conan O'Brien]

What happened to this disease?

[Christopher Hack]

They needed to flush my system out, so I was in the hospital for a week on an iv. That was all I was doing.

[Conan O'Brien]

Right.

[Christopher Hack]

So it was, for me, a vacation.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. It's always a vacation when you can just squirt out some black urine in a hospital. So then you recovered and the disease does not continue once it's flushed out. Is that correct?

[Christopher Hack]

I haven't got it again, but I'll honestly say I don't think I was ever 100% after that.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, I apologize.

[Kevin Nealon]

It kind of looks like you have black pee coming out of your ears right now from those wires.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, those are headphones, Kevin.

[Kevin Nealon]

I'm talking about the wires.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I know.

[Kevin Nealon]

Chris. Let's get back to the cummerbund.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Hey, Chris, I'm sorry that I asked you momentarily.

[Kevin Nealon]

You followed up with that question.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I'm really sorry about it. So. Yeah. So you went wee wee. It was all black. Hey, wouldn't you wear a tuxedo in the ring ever?

[Kevin Nealon]

You got a lot of fans, Chris. What's your fan base?

[Christopher Hack]

Tucson. Tucson, Arizona. I built a pretty good following here, and we do regular shows at the Rialto Theater downtown.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, are you a good guy or a bad guy? Are you the heel? Are you the hero?

[Christopher Hack]

So I've been the hero for the majority of my career, but two years Ago, I turned hill and had a little feud with another wrestler. That was the last time I wrestled. I haven't had a match in two years.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, who's your arch enemy? Did you have a nemesis, someone who the Prophet always hated, you know, the, the cumberbund or whatever the other guy was?

[Christopher Hack]

Well, the, the coolest thing I've done storyline wise was I had a feud against myself, the false prophet.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, that's a great idea.

[Christopher Hack]

Yeah, we stressed it out for a year, year and a half. We had a series of matches and we were playing tricks. You know, look over here while he's over there and vice versa. So it was fun.

[Conan O'Brien]

But wait a minute, did you play both characters?

[Christopher Hack]

So I had one of my original trainees became my discipline.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's a great idea. Yeah, it's pretty cool. The false prophet is a terrific. And would the false prophet try to do the prophecy on you?

[Christopher Hack]

Yes. He was as agile as me, so we were able to do each other's moves.

[Conan O'Brien]

Now if you each did the prophecy to each other, was it one of those things where it cancels out and there's like a bright flash?

[Christopher Hack]

Yeah. A black hole.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. These are good questions, Kevin. I'm sorry. Oh, this isn't sticky enough for my partner here.

[Kevin Nealon]

Can I, can I get to like a real question if you don't mind?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

Chris, you grew up as a Mormon, correct?

[Christopher Hack]

I did.

[Kevin Nealon]

And did you watch wrestling growing up?

[Christopher Hack]

Not till teenage years.

[Conan O'Brien]

Do you think the fact that you grew up in the Mormon faith steered you towards more of a religious character?

[Christopher Hack]

That did. But the other factor was the Three 6 Mafia because their record label was called Profit Entertainment.

[Conan O'Brien]

Tell me about Three Six Mafia. You're going crazy here.

[Kevin Nealon]

A famous hip hop group, rap group from the 90s and 2000s.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah. And so you were a fan of their music and then you saw that their record label was the Prophet or the Prophecy.

[Christopher Hack]

Prof. It was Profit Entertainment.

[Conan O'Brien]

Nice.

[Christopher Hack]

So I kind of ripped that off.

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, you don't rip it off. You say I was in. I was inspired, you know, I'm trying to protect you from legal action.

[Kevin Nealon]

Chris, you haven't wrestled in two years, right?

[Christopher Hack]

Yeah, it's just really hard on my body these days. Just trying to take it easy.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah. How do you stay busy?

[Christopher Hack]

Well, with the wrestling business. Besides doing that, I also rent rings and get books for festivals. And I'm also in the food world too, trying to start a food trailer.

[Conan O'Brien]

Tell us about that.

[Christopher Hack]

So I love Mexican food and I worked in a restaurant for a few years and I just came up with an Aguas frescoes drink line.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Oh.

[Christopher Hack]

So I want to start selling Aguas Frescoes, but I want to call it Lucha Fresca Fight Fresh.

[Conan O'Brien]

Nice. I like. Hey, wait. That's a good idea. I would drink Lucha Fresca. I could do an ad for you. You know, I. I would do. I would. I would be a. And I know that you're a great spokesperson. You'll do an ad for anyone.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, I'll do it. I'll do anything for anybody. You know, you know, the thing about drinks. What are they? Is this water or is it.

[Christopher Hack]

They're made out of water with the ingredient and then sugar, salt.

[Kevin Nealon]

Those are always healthy. I think a lot of times, you know, when you're selling a product, it's really the packaging that sells it, you know, like if you see these Topo Chico bottles, they look so refreshing.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

A little condensation on them. And cold bottle. What's your packaging looks like, Chris?

[Conan O'Brien]

That's not about the packaging.

[Kevin Nealon]

I'm talking to Chris. I'm talking to Chris. I'm talking to Chris.

[Conan O'Brien]

Any cold bottle, condensation on it, Chris, I'm sorry. How do you give the company credit for it being cold?

[Kevin Nealon]

You're our guest.

[Conan O'Brien]

That doesn't make any sense at all. You know, I love the new Ford Fiesta. Oh, what do you like about it? It's got some dew on it, Chris, if you want to come, it's been outside and we're late and we're in Portland. Yeah, that's what. Just nice when it has that dew, that dewy look.

[Kevin Nealon]

Does it make you feel good to do that?

[Conan O'Brien]

It did.

[Kevin Nealon]

Does it make you feel good to pounce on people? I crushed you. You could call me later, we'll talk about it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, Chris, I like this idea. I like this idea. And what are you doing to make.

[Kevin Nealon]

What kind of packaging are you putting on there?

[Christopher Hack]

So I do have clear bottles. They're very sleek, and I do have a logo already. I might modify it, but I was just at a pop up market this weekend and I sold at least 15 bottles there, so that's my start.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, and do they have each one? Does it come in different flavors?

[Christopher Hack]

Yeah, my main flavors right now is Jamaica and Tamarindo.

[Kevin Nealon]

My favorite flavors, by the way.

[Conan O'Brien]

Those are. I mean, this sounds promising. I think you might be onto something. Do you have any big money backers behind you?

[Christopher Hack]

No.

[Kevin Nealon]

Have you taken it on Shark Tank?

[Conan O'Brien]

Would you take it on Shark Tank?

[Christopher Hack]

I don't know. I mean, it's been Done before Aguas Frescas exist. But maybe the way the packaging and the marketing might sell more than the other brands.

[Conan O'Brien]

I like the idea of Lucha Fresca. I think that's great.

[Kevin Nealon]

I like the name. Do you speak Spanish, Chris?

[Christopher Hack]

I do. I've been practicing for like four years now on duolingo, but I'm still not fluent.

[Kevin Nealon]

But that. That Lucha Fresca man, that comes out nice.

[Conan O'Brien]

What are you talking about? It comes out nice the way he says it. Oh, the way he says also comes out nice. It does. So.

[Kevin Nealon]

So.

[Conan O'Brien]

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[David]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Sonam Obsessian]

So relatable.

[Conan O'Brien]

But if I was going on errands and not living in my little bubble, I would want the Hyundai Palisade hybrid. I really would. It's an amazing car. And you drive.

[Sonam Obsessian]

I sure do. Yep, I do. I love this car.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Make every day epic in the all new Hyundai Palisade hybrid. The Palisade hybrid is packed with incredible features and cutting edge tech. I didn't have time to say technology. Plus, with an up to 600 plus mile of range, you can spend more time on the road, less time at the pump. You know what I'm saying?

[Sonam Obsessian]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

You let me peek inside your Palisade. Yeah. A lot of room in there.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Oh, my God. I have so much cargo space.

[Conan O'Brien]

That's why I pick a pickleball in there. It was crazy. Get a comprehensive perspective on the road with the available dash camera feature and change lanes confidently with the available blind spot view monitor. This is good for you, Sonra.

[Sonam Obsessian]

It really is.

[Conan O'Brien]

This is a car that's worthy.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

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[Kevin Nealon]

Oh, thank you.

[Christopher Hack]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is it. Are you up to some quints there? You have some quints?

[Christopher Hack]

Yeah.

[Conan O'Brien]

I just got a new black zip.

[Kevin Nealon]

Up sweater and it's really nice.

[Conan O'Brien]

I saw that. You look very. Listen, when I first hired you. Oh, gosh, no, no, no, no, no. The wardrobe was not great. And then you started going to Quint's and you look fantastic. Thank you. You really do. Thanks. It almost looks like you shouldn't be working for me. You look like you're way above me.

[Kevin Nealon]

What's that say about you?

[Conan O'Brien]

Well, I'm a bum, but I should go to Quint's. That's what it says about me. Refresh your wardrobe with quints. Go to quints.comconan for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com Conan Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Conan Finding a skilled hire takes more than just reviewing a resume. You know what I mean? You can't just go bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. That doesn't get it done. As AI raises the bar on how experience is presented, hiring managers need better ways to evaluate skills and fit. That's where Robert Half can help. The recruiters combine their expertise with award winning AI to review what's behind every application quickly. And that's important. Quickly. Who's got time these days? No one. Learn how they can help you find specialized talent in finance, accounting, technology and more at Robert Half. They know talent. Visit roberthalf.com talent today. So you haven't wrestled. Do you think you're done wrestling? Your wrestling day's over. It sounds to me like if you've done, if you haven't wrestled in two years, maybe that's it.

[Kevin Nealon]

No comeback.

[Christopher Hack]

I'm not retired.

[Kevin Nealon]

All right.

[Christopher Hack]

Pretty much. In the wrestling business, even if you retire, you don't because you always get Sucked back in. But. But I have a wrestling ring. I still train and stuff like that. So now I'm trying to just teach the new people.

[Conan O'Brien]

Chris, I hate to make this about me, but I, A number of years ago, did a show that I was very proud of in Mexico City and.

[Kevin Nealon]

Does it have a pony in it?

[Conan O'Brien]

What?

[Kevin Nealon]

Was there a pony in it?

[Conan O'Brien]

Why would there be a pony in it?

[Kevin Nealon]

Because it was a show in Mexico.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. What's the connection?

[Kevin Nealon]

You don't travel much, do you?

[Christopher Hack]

Bringing up Tijuana.

[Conan O'Brien]

Just call an ambulance.

[Kevin Nealon]

I'm sorry. I meant a donkey. I meant a donkey.

[Conan O'Brien]

Call an ambulance.

[Kevin Nealon]

Chris is dying, man. Chris is loving this.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

He said pony instead of donkey.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I really don't get out much. I don't get out much, Kevin. I don't get out much, so. I didn't know that ponies in Mexico City are anonymous.

[Sonam Obsessian]

He meant donkey.

[Conan O'Brien]

He meant donkey.

[Kevin Nealon]

He got it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Hey, Mexico City, did you have a stapler when you went. Stapler? I don't have a stapler. You know, Mexico City, you're doing that comedy thing. Look at Conan doing his comedy thing.

[Kevin Nealon]

Bit off of a bit, though.

[Conan O'Brien]

Bit off a bit is just as legitimate as any bit. Hey, Christopher, I did this bunch of shows in Mexico City. Very proud of those shows. One of the things I wanted to ask you was, did you see my luchador segment? I actually went into a ring in Mexico City and I had my own luchador character that I dressed up as. Anyone can see this if they go on. What's it called?

[Kevin Nealon]

YouTube. I can pull it up now.

[Conan O'Brien]

There it is, the Crazy Rooster. I was the crazy rooster There I am Gallo Loco. I wrestled. What did you have you. A, have you. Are you familiar with that segment? And B, have you. How do you think I did?

[Christopher Hack]

Yeah, I've seen it multiple times. I love all your travel shows, and that episode means a lot to me.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Kevin Nealon]

Any of my stuff, Chris.

[Christopher Hack]

In Mexico?

[Conan O'Brien]

No.

[Kevin Nealon]

It's all about Conan.

[Conan O'Brien]

We'll get through this, Chris. Just hang in there. Well, what did you think of my wrestling moves? Be honest.

[Christopher Hack]

Yeah, I was. You're. I will say you are athletic, and I know you have all this energy, so you pulled it off very well. And one of the guys in the ring with you is a former champion of mine.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, wow. Okay. So you actually. Do you know where I was in Mexico City? Do you know the. The. The gym I was in?

[Christopher Hack]

No, I don't.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay. It was just a gym. Okay. Yeah. I think if I had to really wrestle, I'd Be killed almost instantly.

[Kevin Nealon]

You'd be broken in half.

[Conan O'Brien]

Everyone was going very easy on me because they knew, oh, here's the comedian. We gotta go easy on him. I have a lot of respect for what you do, and I think I'd have died within seconds of me entering. I think before I entered the ring, I would have died.

[Christopher Hack]

Oh, yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

You know, I went to one of these wrestling matches a couple years ago in New Jersey, whatever that big stadium is, and it was packed. It was like a Super Bowl.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's huge.

[Kevin Nealon]

And the ring in the bottom, and John Cena came out. Cena. People going crazy. Yeah.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

I never knew it was that big.

[Conan O'Brien]

I did know it was that big. It's been big for a long. I'm sorry. And I.

[Kevin Nealon]

No. Because I like to read.

[Conan O'Brien]

Sure. Okay. Well, I also enjoy a book every now and then, but I've known for a while that wrestling is massive. So I'm glad that you caught up to what's happening.

[Kevin Nealon]

You know, everything's massive. I just didn't know it because I live in my small world of knowledge.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, Chris.

[Kevin Nealon]

Chris, I'm sorry. We're back to you.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, back to you. Enough about Conan ending his career. But I'm impressed that you keep coming up with new ideas, you're trying new stuff. I mean, that's the game. We've all got to keep going. We got to keep trying things. And so I root for you. I do root for you. And this lucha fresca drink. I think it sounds great.

[Christopher Hack]

Thank you. I appreciate it. Everything I do to this day is basically out of necessity to get me to the next spot in life where I'm trying to go. So I learned how to. Well, just to build rings and, you know, learn how to cook, to sell it, to make money and stuff like that.

[Kevin Nealon]

Who do you like? Who's your favorite wrestler?

[Christopher Hack]

Probably Mick Foley and Rey Mysterio Jr.

[Conan O'Brien]

What did you like about them particularly?

[Christopher Hack]

Well, Mick Foley is the hardcore legend. He just gives up his whole body to the business and just does everything he has to to make an impact. Mysterio is the biggest influence for me because I started becoming a luchador inspired by what he could do. And that made me think, well, can I do it? So 27 years later, the answer is yes.

[Conan O'Brien]

Isn't that. It's funny. You're talking about wrestling. It's really the same with comedy. We grow up seeing people, and you identify people that you want to. You want to emulate them. You had that right, Kevin. Yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah. Everybody does.

[Conan O'Brien]

Who did you have growing up.

[Kevin Nealon]

Mine were three. Three people. One was Chris, actually.

[Conan O'Brien]

Besides Chris.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, Chris. No, it was Andy Kaufman.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yep.

[Kevin Nealon]

Albert Brooks and Steve Barton.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Nealon]

And you. You never really did stand up, though.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, I never did stand up.

[Kevin Nealon]

But you did it. Monologues on your shows.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. That's good. A little put down before.

[Kevin Nealon]

Did you feel comfortable doing those monologues?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I did.

[Kevin Nealon]

Really?

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Just cold talent. I. Chris is watching this.

[Kevin Nealon]

Like watching his parents fight.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. I'm sorry about this, Chris. Yeah, I had the same thing. It was Steve Martin and I mean, also Albert Brooks. I mean, watching his films, watching the stuff that he would do on the Tonight show, that really inspired me. This conceptual comedy, that blew me away. And of course, Python. When Python finally showed up on my television, that blew my mind. Sctv.

[Kevin Nealon]

Well, I was basically just asking about comics, but. Okay.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay, well, let's keep it standard.

[Kevin Nealon]

I don't want a history.

[Conan O'Brien]

I forgot how narrow you were.

[Kevin Nealon]

I don't really want a history of comedy. No, no. You know, I like, you know, Monty Python and I like, you know, I like a bit off, a bit off. Oh, yeah, I do like bit off.

[Conan O'Brien]

A bit off, a bit. We criticize what we are. Okay, well, listen, Christopher, it's very unusual. I've never had Kevin here when I talk to a fan. And we've tried this once. We won't do it again.

[Kevin Nealon]

Not with Conan, anyway.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's just going to be Kevin from now on. But I understand you might have a question. Is that right?

[Christopher Hack]

If you were a tag team, you and Kevin, what would be your characters or your names?

[Conan O'Brien]

That's interesting. So we're a team.

[Kevin Nealon]

The Amoebas.

[Conan O'Brien]

The Amoebas.

[Kevin Nealon]

Because we're kind of right.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, we're very similar. And then we could be amoebas where we have to. We enter the ring together, sort of enmesh together, and then we split apart. One fights and then that has to.

[Kevin Nealon]

I got a better idea.

[Conan O'Brien]

Are you saying I shouldn't have run with this idea?

[Kevin Nealon]

I got a better idea. The Siamese twins. We fight in one costume.

[Conan O'Brien]

Wait, so we're both in one conjoined and so the other one just doesn't do anything? Well, one of only one can fight at a time and the other's just. Is just sitting there?

[Kevin Nealon]

No, they both fight the same time. They both fight.

[Conan O'Brien]

It's much better if we're attached. But when I'm fighting Chris, you're just doing nothing but looking around. And your voice. Yeah, you're just inert. And then when I tag you, you switch, and I swing to the rear. And now I'm behind you and I'm looking at the crowd and I'm a nerd.

[Kevin Nealon]

What move is that called, Chris?

[Christopher Hack]

What?

[Kevin Nealon]

We call that move, the little reach around.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, it's called the reach around.

[Kevin Nealon]

Yeah, that's a reach around it.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah. Hey, look, they're doing the reach around. Conan and Kevin are doing the reach around.

[Sonam Obsessian]

You guys would just be. You guys would die instantly. I think you're right. The moment that you walk into the ring, you would. Everybody would hate you because you guys would be doing so many bits.

[Conan O'Brien]

We'd be doing bits in the ring. We'd be arguing and doing bits. And then whichever one wasn't wrestling the others, just hanging off his back.

[Kevin Nealon]

On the phone.

[Conan O'Brien]

On the phone and doing bits. Yeah, on the phone, buying stuff.

[Sonam Obsessian]

The most hated duo in all of wrestling.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Everyone hates you guys so much they.

[Kevin Nealon]

Fool us as we're coming out on the walkway.

[Conan O'Brien]

You got to admit, we would be hated. We would be good heels.

[Kevin Nealon]

But that's good to be hater in the ring, right? If you get a lot of hate coming at you, that's a good.

[Christopher Hack]

You're doing your job. You're doing your job properly.

[Kevin Nealon]

That's like Conan here.

[Conan O'Brien]

Okay.

[Kevin Nealon]

He's doing a good job, by the way.

[Conan O'Brien]

No, you're not cool. Just not cool.

[Kevin Nealon]

Chris, what are you doing tonight?

[Christopher Hack]

I'm going to record drums with my band.

[Conan O'Brien]

Oh, tell us about your band.

[Christopher Hack]

I'm in a punk rock band here in Tucson called Planet Strict. 9 PS9.

[Conan O'Brien]

That is great. And so you play drums?

[Christopher Hack]

I'm the drummer and we're gonna put out a record pretty soon. I just recorded like 20 tracks.

[Conan O'Brien]

Is it kind of like thrash metal? What are we talking? How hardcore is this?

[Christopher Hack]

It's kind of like Bad Religion and those type of punk bands. Bouncing Souls. Yep.

[Conan O'Brien]

You gotta. Where do you perform?

[Christopher Hack]

Three outdoor theaters, sometimes 191 tool here, and then we usually go to Bisbee, Arizona. That's where the band originally was from.

[Kevin Nealon]

Chris, is it a music we could dance to?

[Christopher Hack]

You could get down to that, but you might get hit in the face.

[Conan O'Brien]

I'm about to hit him in the face. He's gonna get hit in the face. It won't have anything to do with your music.

[Kevin Nealon]

No, I like to go to the Rialto and dance.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, I'm sure you do.

[Sonam Obsessian]

Oh, my God. If you guys were a tag team, you would fight each other more than you would fight the other people.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yeah, the wrestler, the Wrestler. The wrestler would just be like, wait, what's going on? And you and I would just be wailing on each other in one costume. In one costume. Wailing on each other for the old reach around. We each reach around. All right, Chris, I'm gonna let you go. Christopher. Christopher Hack, you are. You're a gentleman and you seem like a very cool guy, and thank you very much for listening to our nonsense. Yeah, you're a good man. I apologize for Conan and I apologize for Kevin, but I don't apologize for you because you seem like a cool guy.

[Kevin Nealon]

Good luck with the band.

[Christopher Hack]

Thanks.

[Kevin Nealon]

And the drink.

[Christopher Hack]

Thanks so much. It was a pleasure.

[Conan O'Brien]

Yes. Chris.

[Christopher Hack]

I just want to shout out my company, it's called Rockstar Wrestling alliance, because I do music and wrestling and put it together.

[Conan O'Brien]

Cool. Well, I always leave room. Always leave room for the plug. Carson taught me that. Carson Daly.

[Kevin Nealon]

Hey, Chris. Paintings, Kevin. Nealonart.com.

[Conan O'Brien]

Unbelievable. Yeah. If you ever have trouble, just go down 9 million doll. All right, man. Take care. Bye, Bye.

[Kevin Nealon]

Bye, bye. Cool.

[Conan O'Brien]

Thank you.

[Christopher Hack]

Bye.

[Podcast Host/Producer]

Conan o' Brien needs a fan With Conan o' Brien, Sonam Obsessian and Matt Gourley Produced by me, Matt Gourley Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Jeff Ross and Nick Leow Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino Take it away, Jimmy. Supervising producer, Aaron Blair Associate associate talent producer Jennifer Samples Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm Engineering by Eduardo Perez get three free months of Sirius XM when you sign [e-mail] Conan please rate, review and subscribe to Conan O' Brien needs a fan. Wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

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[Sonam Obsessian]

Fast.

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We're talking weights at your door without really waiting.

[Conan O'Brien]

Fast.

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[Conan O'Brien]

AKA fast.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

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[Christopher Hack]

Fast.

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[Conan O'Brien]

Great. Subject to availability. Restrictions and fees apply.