Connecting to Admired Leadership

False Harmony in Teams

Register for future sessions here Key Highlights The truth-harmony spectrum: Teams and cultures exist on a spectrum from "truth over harmony" (direct, sometimes blunt) to "harmony over truth" (smooth on the surface, but real concerns get pushed underground and into back channels) - the goal is neither extreme, but leaders need to know where their team sits False harmony is a leadership problem first: Passive aggressiveness and false harmony exist because people have calculated that the cost of honest challenge is too high - leaders who react hard to pushback are often the ones creating the conditions for silence The parking lot test: After a meeting, watch how many side conversations start in the hallway or parking lot - those conversations are the real meeting, and they're a reliable barometer of how much false harmony exists in the room Relationships die in the silence: False harmony at its extreme is polite nodding followed by silence - and that silence is where trust erodes, because there's nothing being worked on together, committed to, or followed through on Depersonalize conflict to make honesty safer: Structured exercises like risk assessments and "fast forward to failure" reframes give people permission to raise concerns without it feeling like a personal attack on the leader or the idea Notable Quotes "Passive aggressiveness happens when people say the cost of a direct challenge is too high. So it just leaks in these very unproductive ways." "Relationships die in the silence. False harmony at its extreme is a lot of polite yes, and then silence - and that's where trust and relationship die off." "False harmony is short-term easy, but long-term headache. Someone nods, agrees, fine - but inevitably that always bites us afterwards." "I think about the first thing I want to say, and I don't say it. I think about the second thing, and I don't say it. I think about the third thing - and maybe I say that." (comedian's secret to a 50-year marriage) "Weak leaders prefer the silence." - Admired Leadership Field Note Featured Speakers Diana Hong is a Partner at CRA | Admired Leadership, specializing in strategic communications and leadership advisory. With over 20 years of experience advising senior leaders through major organizational changes, she brings equal parts warmth, humor, and sharp analytical thinking to every engagement. Known for her ability to turn a room from tense to laughing and back again, she uses Alex daily to pressure-test her coaching by asking it to play her worst critic, her toughest team member, or an outside observer with no context. Wes Bender serves as a facilitator and thought leadership coordinator at CRA | Admired Leadership, joining from the road between his nephew's graduation in Chattanooga and an on-location event in Miami - navigating graduation season with five family graduates across high school, college, and a master's degree. Resources Mentioned Field Note: "False Harmony in Teams"

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The Three Signals Every Message Sends

4w ago00:31:15Tap to summarize

Register for future sessions here Key Highlights The three signals framework: Every message - every email, meeting, hallway conversation - is simultaneously advancing a task, projecting an identity (how do I want to be seen?), and signaling something about the relationship (how do I see this person?) whether you intend it to or not Three types of communicators: Expressive communicators react and say what they feel (authentic but full of accidental signals); conventional communicators follow scripts and norms; strategic communicators design - they ask "what am I actually trying to accomplish here?" and think about all three signals The 2008 auto CEO bailout: A masterclass in what happens when leaders nail the task signal but ignore identity and relationship - flying private jets to ask for a government bailout sent signals of disconnection and entitlement that nearly derailed the entire effort, regardless of intent Channel matters as much as message: Different channels suppress different signals - email is efficient for task but strips out relationship entirely, leaving people to fill in tone with the worst possible interpretation; strategic communicators ask which medium will actually carry the signals they intend The accidental vs. intentional leader: The accidental leader asks "what do I need them to do?" The intentional leader also asks "how do I want to be seen?" and "what do I want this message to say about how I see this person?" - going beyond task to design identity and relationship signals deliberately Notable Quotes "Communication is never just information transfer. Every message is doing three things at once - advancing a task, projecting an identity, and signaling something about the relationship - whether you're aware of it or not." "A strategic communicator can turn a birthday party into a funeral, and a funeral into a birthday party - because they're aware of the situation and know how to use communication to drive outcomes." "The intention is beside the point. The signals landed anyway, and it nearly derailed the entire effort." (on the auto CEO bailout) "Email strips out the relationship signal entirely. Because they can't see your tone, they're often filling it with the worst possible interpretation of what you truly mean." "The other two signals aren't disappearing - they're just going unmanaged. That's what we want leaders to focus on: how are you being intentional about all three?" Featured Speakers Jordyn Kreshover is a Managing Director at CRA | Admired Leadership, specializing in strategic communication, organizational change, and leadership visibility. With nearly a decade advising senior leaders at some of the world's most recognizable companies, she helps leaders use communication as a lever to drive outcomes - whether launching a new strategy, leading through change, or building deeper connection with their teams. Wes Bender serves as a facilitator and thought leadership coordinator at CRA | Admired Leadership, helping to connect practical leadership insights with real-world application through webinars and educational content. Resources Mentioned Field Note: "How Others Are Interpreting What You Say and Do"

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Allocate Time in Each Day for Both Strategic & Tactical Work

Apr 2400:30:41Tap to summarize

Register here for future sessions Key Highlights Tactical vs. strategic defined simply: Tactical is "do and delegate" - executing and getting things done; strategic is "design and discern" - designing how the organization works and looking farther down the field to determine how to win Why tactical wins every time: Tactical work is urgent, visible, and on fire - inboxes, texts, and project management systems are "fancy ways for people to put things on your to-do list without your permission," creating a constant magnetic pull away from strategic thinking Four disciplines for protecting strategic time: Use forcing mechanisms (like Reclaim.ai), build strategic thinking into recurring meetings as a consistent agenda item, leverage relationships and ongoing conversations to keep strategy alive, and find your personal best environment for strategic thinking Delegation as a strategic tool: Assign strategic thinking work to team members as a development opportunity - it creates a forcing mechanism for you while growing their capability, and prevents the stagnation that happens when leaders hold onto everything The compounding effect: Just as financial discipline of saving first pays off exponentially, 30 minutes of daily strategic thinking compounds dramatically - the leaders who do this consistently are the ones who orient to shore while others swim hard in the wrong direction Notable Quotes "Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things." - Peter Drucker (quoted in Field Note) "Inboxes, texts, chats, project management systems are fancy ways for people to put things on your to-do list without your permission." "What got you here won't get you there as a leader. You have to recognize a massive context shift from mainly tactical work to the design and discerning work of strategy." "If you're excellent at something but it drains the living daylights out of you, delegate it - so you can focus on the things you're excellent at that actually energize you. That's where you have real impact." "Think about a swimmer out at sea. Every now and then you've got to pick yourself up and orient to shore - am I heading the right direction? If you don't do that, you may have the greatest tactical work in the world and be miles off course." Featured Speakers John Schoew (pronounced "Shay") is a Managing Director and Senior Executive Coach at CRA | Admired Leadership, bringing a unique combination of corporate strategy expertise and executive coaching to his work with leaders. A former partner at Accenture with experience spanning Fortune 500 companies, government, and the Middle East, he specializes in helping leaders make the critical shift from tactical excellence to strategic leadership. A self-described ADHD thinker who does his best strategic work while driving, he uses Alex daily as a thought partner and voice-records insights to process later with AI. Wes Bender serves as a facilitator and thought leadership coordinator at CRA | Admired Leadership, helping to connect practical leadership insights with real-world application through webinars and educational content. Resources Mentioned Field Note: "Strategic vs. Tactical Thinking" (featuring Peter Drucker quote)

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The Humility Myth

Apr 700:28:11Tap to summarize

Register for future sessions here Key Highlights The humility myth debunked: Humility is not about retreating, withdrawing, or diminishing yourself - it's an active behavior of putting others higher, not putting yourself lower Selfless self-promotion: You can still be proud and confident while expressing humility - shift from singular to inclusive pronouns, frame success around organizational impact, and highlight what you learned in the process Extend credit in the widest sphere possible: Don't just credit the most visible contributors - look for ways to shine a light on those with first, second, and tertiary connections to the work The compounding effect: What feels like a short-term cost of humility becomes a long-term reputation as someone who scales impact and cultivates excellence in others - it bounces back and reflects on you AI amplifies the need for humility: As AI democratizes capability and knowledge, what differentiates leaders will increasingly be uniquely human qualities - those who acknowledge AI's capabilities while shining a light on others' unique human contributions will stand out Notable Quotes "Humility is not thinking less of yourself - it's thinking of yourself less." - Rick Warren "Being humble means recognizing that we are not on earth to see how important we can become, but to see how much difference we can make in the lives of others." - Theologian quoted in Field Note "You don't have to put yourself back in order to push someone forward. Both of those things can be true at the same time." "If I only extend credit in those instances where I'm expecting a really high return, that feels transactional. In order for humility to be credible, it needs to be demonstrated consistently." "We can drive way more impact when we're moving others and amplifying others to be their most successful - we only get a one-to-one return when we do that on ourselves." Featured Speakers Ben Stringfellow is an Executive Coach and Partner at CRA | Admired Leadership, known for his ability to turn either-or conversations into both-and conversations and his talent for making complex leadership concepts immediately actionable. A passionate advocate for the behavioral view of leadership development, he uses Alex daily as an "intentional contrarian" - asking it to prove him wrong and push his thinking in new directions. His coaching approach is grounded in the belief that leadership is simply making people and situations better. Wes Bender serves as a facilitator and thought leadership coordinator at CRA | Admired Leadership, helping to connect practical leadership insights with real-world application through webinars and educational content. Resources Mentioned Field Note: "The Humility Myth"

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Pressure is a Privilege

Mar 2700:32:13Tap to summarize

Register for future sessions here Key Highlights The origin of "pressure is a privilege": Billie Jean King coined the phrase spontaneously in 2000 when Lindsay Davenport was "freaking out" before facing a nemesis - but the full quote is critical: "Pressure is a privilege, and champions adjust" Your body isn't betraying you: Clammy hands, racing heart, breathlessness - these physiological signals mean your body is preparing you for high performance, not warning you to retreat The 30-second pre-routine: Recognize your personal pressure signal, label it ("I feel this because it matters and I'm ready"), then control your pace of breath, voice, and movement to project composure Specificity over intensity: When communicating pressure to teams, don't rise with rousing speeches - be very specific: "We need to focus on these 3 things for the next 3 weeks" moves people to action rather than panic Protect your bandwidth: Build a "to don't do" list before high-pressure days - pre-decide what to wear, eat, and your one non-negotiable outcome to preserve cognitive capacity for consequential decisions Notable Quotes "Pressure is a privilege, and champions adjust." - Billie Jean King, 2000 Fed Cup locker room "The physiological response is actually a signal. Our body is not betraying us - it's preparing us for high performance, preparing us to meet the moment we're uniquely equipped for." "Great leaders don't feel pressure less. They just meet it slightly differently, from a place of resourcefulness because they're uniquely equipped to tackle that moment." "When pressure hits, label it: I'm feeling this because it matters, because I care, and I'm ready. That creates distance from the idea of a threat to considering it as a challenge." "I'm here because my experience, my relationships, the hard moments I've passed have equipped me to meet this moment. That's the piece that allows you to meet pressure as a privilege." Featured Speakers Emma Mufraggi is an Executive Coach at CRA | Admired Leadership who has led executives across Europe, Latin America, and North America through their most challenging moments. Joining from France, she brings deep expertise in sports psychology, high-performance coaching, and the practical disciplines that separate leaders who thrive under pressure from those who are overwhelmed by it. A practitioner of everything she teaches, she bookends every day with time outside as her non-negotiable recovery routine - a habit born during COVID that has become a cornerstone of her own high performance. Wes Bender serves as a facilitator and thought leadership coordinator at CRA | Admired Leadership, helping to connect practical leadership insights with real-world application through webinars and educational content. A father of an 18-year-old heading to college who experienced his first genuine "pressure as privilege" moment the morning of this very webinar - his 50th - thanks to coaching from Emma the day before. Resources Mentioned Field Note: "Pressure is a Privilege"

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Learn to Speak in Headlines

Mar 1700:29:32Tap to summarize

Register for future sessions here Key Highlights Excellence vs. expertise: Leaders don't struggle with what to say, they struggle with how to say it concisely - leading with all your expertise actually works against you by muddying the water The three-question framework: Every headline should answer - What is this really about? Why does it matter? What do I need from you? - in just a few sentences without data or slides Headlines as frames, not reveals: Don't save your recommendation for the end of a presentation - start with the headline to frame what's inside the box you want to discuss, then invite questions Brief, brilliant, be gone: When 30 minutes gets squashed to 5, leaders who start with headlines can adapt instantly while those who planned to build to a reveal get flustered and lose credibility Daily practice builds the muscle: Watch a show and summarize the headline, read articles and improve their headlines, or prepare morning coffee headlines about your work - ritual repetition makes headline thinking automatic Notable Quotes "People follow leaders who create clarity, and headlines create that clarity. We're going to help you tell people what matters, why it matters to them, and how they should understand the conversation." "If you can't get to the headline within just a few sentences, then you probably aren't prepared as you need to be." "The ability to be concise and clear and focused is really a credibility marker and allows us to be heard more effectively, particularly with senior audiences." "We want to make sure that when we're talking to people, we're really crystallizing what those headlines are. The interesting information will muddy the water for us." "Communication is about an interaction, not just a one-way message. Message sent is not message received." Featured Speakers Kristen Fenty is a Managing Director at CRA | Admired Leadership, specializing in coaching and advising leaders on strategic communication, particularly during high-stakes organizational change including new strategies, technologies, mergers, acquisitions, and layoffs. With extensive global experience recently spanning Mexico and India, she helps leaders cut through complexity to create clarity in moments of maximum anxiety and ambiguity. Wes Bender serves as a facilitator and thought leadership coordinator at CRA | Admired Leadership, helping to connect practical leadership insights with real-world application through webinars and educational content.

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In Search of Excellence

Feb 2000:29:21Tap to summarize

Register for future sessions here Key Highlights Excellence vs. perfection: Perfection is an unattainable ideal; excellence is the highest quality you can achieve given your constraints - time, people, resources, and context The foundation of excellent teams: Three pillars - permission to hold each other accountable to shared standards, constant environment of feedback, and low personal ego where success is collective not individual The 2-3 rule: You can't be excellent at everything - choose what you're uniquely equipped to do better than others, focus there intensely, and be content with good enough elsewhere Values hierarchy matters: When excellence conflicts with speed (or other values), leaders must explicitly clarify which supersedes - if excellence wins, you do fewer things at higher quality rather than more things faster Excellence is both achievement and pursuit: You can achieve excellent work (Olympic medals, perfect dishes), but the best performers are always hungry for more - it's simultaneously a destination and a journey Notable Quotes "Excellence is the consistent pursuit of the highest quality you can achieve within a given set of constraints. Perfection is an ideal abstraction - it's not truly attainable in any pursuit." "Excellence is real. We can see it. The question is how do we get there ourselves and build that pursuit among our teams?" "The baseline table stakes is: excellence is what we are about. There's a stated agreement amongst the team that we want to be excellent." "Excellence itself, for most people, is motivating. When I'm on an excellent team surrounded by excellent people, I want to show up for them in a way that I'm carrying my own weight." "Were the Chicago Bulls perfect? No. It's very obvious they weren't. But excellence is not perfection - it's the pursuit of the highest level of quality given the constraints." Featured Speakers Matt Coyne is a Managing Director at CRA | Admired Leadership based in Chicago, specializing in strategic communication, leadership, and increasingly AI integration for organizational excellence. With nearly a decade of experience helping senior leaders define and achieve excellence in practice (not just theory), he brings a unique perspective shaped by studying excellence across domains from Michelin-starred kitchens to Olympic athletes. Mallory Stacey is a Managing Director at CRA | Admired Leadership, an executive coach and leadership advisor who specializes in helping leaders and teams navigate the tension between high standards and sustainability. A parent of young children who understands firsthand the challenge of pursuing excellence across competing priorities and domains. Guest host filling in for regular host Wes Bender. Resources Mentioned Field Note: "In Search of Excellence" (embodied excellence concept)

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Leading with Resilience

Feb 1900:46:29Tap to summarize

Register for future sessions here. Key Highlights Resilience is a skill set, not an event: Rather than something you call upon in extraordinary moments, resilience requires daily practice, preparation, and intentional habits built during quieter times The flashlight technique: When facing uncertainty, narrow your focus to "what is important now" rather than trying to see everything in the shadows - shine your flashlight on the one next step that will create momentum Shift from "why" to "what's next": Move from rumination (getting stuck asking "why is this happening to me?") to agency by reframing around choices and actions - even choosing to pause is taking control Three pillars of preparedness: Build margin and space in your calendar now, prepare for multiple scenarios (not pessimism, but readiness), and practice maintaining composure in low-stakes moments before high-stakes ones arrive The intersection of urgency and intentionality: Resilience is measured by how you show up when pressure demands speed - slow your physical pace, speak deliberately, and create pauses to signal composure and control to your team Notable Quotes "We are in a marathon and not a sprint. How do we keep our energy, our focus, our commitment up for the long term through the lulls and valleys of everything we're experiencing?" "Ignore the landscape for right now. If we can just narrow the focus, hyper-focus on what can I do next, or what do I choose to do next - even if I choose to do nothing, I'm choosing to do nothing." "Rather than going into 'why is it happening to me?' if we can move to a statement - here's what we can do - and turn to action, that's where agency comes from." "Control the controllables. The uncontrollables are always going to change - the weather, the dynamics, the situation. But if we come back to here's the narrative that will gain me momentum, that's really powerful." "Reflection is important, but we don't want to get stuck in rumination. How do you get out of the rut of pondering and worrying and fretting? Change from looking backwards to looking forwards." Featured Speakers Diana Hong is a Partner and Executive Coach at CRA | Admired Leadership with over 20 years of experience advising senior leaders on strategic communication and leadership through major organizational changes. Known for helping leaders cut through complexity and create clarity, she specializes in preparing teams for uncertainty and building resilience as a daily practice rather than an emergency response. Emma Mufraggi is an Executive Coach at CRA | Admired Leadership, an executive coach who has led executives across Europe, Latin America, and North America through their most challenging moments. With deep experience in both elite athletics and executive leadership, she brings unique insights on composure under pressure, the power of preparation, and building support networks that sustain performance. Wes Bender serves as a facilitator and thought leadership coordinator at CRA | Admired Leadership, helping to connect practical leadership insights with real-world application through webinars and educational content. Resources Mentioned Field Note: "Resilience as Preparation" (spare tire analogy)

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Where Do You Stand with Your Leader?

Feb 1000:30:11Tap to summarize

Key HighlightsThe four levels of inquiry framework: Level 1 ("What do I do?"), Level 2 ("Here's what I think, what do you think?"), Level 3 ("Here's what I'm doing, course correct me if I'm wrong"), and Level 4 ("Here's what I did, FYI") - plus Level 0 (unaware of problems) and Level 5 (going rogue)Accidental Level 1 behaviors: "See below" emails and quick-hit text messages without context are the most common ways competent leaders accidentally signal they need hand-holdingThe competence-confidence relationship: Moving to Level 3 or 4 requires both competence (can you do it?) and confidence (do you believe you can?) - leaders must give people "enough rope" while providing air coverage when they misstepSigns you stand well with your leader: They ask for input outside your scope, share confidential information, defend you when you're not in the room, compensate you well, invest time in your development, and give you immediate access when you need itChallenge the urgency excuse: Unless you're on a trading desk or in an operating room, most "fast-paced" environments still have time for Level 2 or 3 thinking - test the limits before defaulting to Level 1Notable Quotes"If you have a lot of Level 1s, you probably have a time issue. You spend your whole day answering questions, and 5, 6, 7 o'clock rolls around and you haven't done any of your own work.""Never send 'see below' emails. That's a straight-up Level 1. That's where I see people get caught up all the time who typically operate at a 3 or 4.""You have to give them just enough rope that they might hang themselves, but then be there to catch them if something happens. They'll misstep - that's part of the time you're gaining back.""It's not just your directs - maybe you level up your team to be threes and fours, but you let your peers or stakeholders constantly be Level 1s to you. Not always giving that answer back immediately is how we start to level them up.""Take this home: When your kids ask 'What's for dinner?' that's a Level 1 question. I need you to at least be a Level 2 and say 'I was thinking Thai food, what do you think?'"Featured SpeakersMallory Stacey is a Managing Director at CRA | Admired Leadership based in Charlotte, North Carolina, specializing in leadership coaching with over 15 years of experience helping leaders build and strengthen relationships with those they report to. Known for getting stuff done, dreaming big, operating from mission, and having fun along the way, she has worked with leaders at Bank of America, Broadridge, Fidelity, Morgan Stanley, and Northwestern Mutual.Wes Bender serves as a facilitator and thought leadership coordinator at CRA | Admired Leadership, helping to connect practical leadership insights with real-world application through webinars and educational content. Resources MentionedField Note: https://admiredleadership.com/field-notes/where-do-you-stand-with-your-leader/

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Be Conversational: Why Authenticity Beats Performance in Presentations

Jan 3001:01:23Tap to summarize

Key HighlightsThe curvilinear relationship between confidence and persuasiveness: Too little confidence undermines your message, but too much confidence also reduces persuasiveness - the goal is finding the "sweet spot" at the top of the curve where you're most effectiveFour elements of presentation success: Singular and advancing message (keep movement going), optimistic energy (even with difficult content), humanness/authenticity (show up the same everywhere), and turning anxiety markers into confidence markers (replace "ums" with purposeful pauses)The 80% rule for your go-to speaking style: Find where you look and sound your best (usually mid-range), then speak from that place 80% of the time while using your full dynamic range for the remaining 20% to create conversational varietyFour critical presentation foundations: Master your intro (practice 5x more than anything else), build transitions in advance (where most filler words happen), prepare for Q&A with 5 likely questions in your pocket, and close strong (never end with awkward "any questions?" silence)Presentations are conversations within a series of conversations: Stop treating them as one-moment-in-time events that amp up anxiety - engage before, during, and after to build authenticity and reduce pressureNotable Quotes"Today, the power's with the audience, not the presenter anymore. The audience decides how persuasive you're going to be and how much attention they're going to give.""People make up their mind in the first 30 seconds of a presentation how much they're going to pay attention all the way through. When their phone buzzes 10 minutes in, they've already decided if they're going to look at it.""The way I'm talking to you right now is my go-to speaking style. I've watched myself record it, I know this is where I look and sound my best. I bring my go-to everywhere.""Perfection is the enemy of engagement. The more you try to be in your head about how you deliver, the more you're gonna disengage the audience.""You speak in your natural speaking voice 99% of the day. But we've created these formulaic presentation styles that aren't us. You don't have to change who you are to be a better speaker."Featured SpeakersDan Couladis is an Executive Coach at CRA | Admired Leadership, specializing in presentation coaching and leadership communication. Over 14 years, he has developed a proprietary approach to public speaking that reflects how audiences engage today, working with leaders from MBA students to Fortune 100 C-suite executives. A devoted Buffalo Bills fan who brings optimistic energy and conversational authenticity to every interaction, he has studied the evolution of public speaking from ancient Greek philosophers to TED Talks to create frameworks that help leaders find their natural voice and command attention in an era of unprecedented distraction.Wes Bender serves as a facilitator and thought leadership coordinator at CRA | Admired Leadership, helping to connect practical leadership insights with real-world application through webinars and educational content. A self-described enthusiastic presenter working to master his own go-to speaking style.Resources MentionedField Note: "The Singular Message" on creating a through line in presentations

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All episodes

False Harmony in Teams

The Three Signals Every Message Sends

Allocate Time in Each Day for Both Strategic & Tactical Work

The Humility Myth

Pressure is a Privilege

Learn to Speak in Headlines

In Search of Excellence

Leading with Resilience

Where Do You Stand with Your Leader?

Be Conversational: Why Authenticity Beats Performance in Presentations