Brian (13:32)
I think there's a. We live in a world that there's so many expectations. And, you know, when you're consuming content too online, you see how other people are doing it. You don't really know. Like you said, it's more like a feeling thing, energy. Like, are they being authentic or not? But at the same time, you're probably creating frames inside of your mind, like, oh, well, if I'm going to be successful, I need to do it that way. Right. But that doesn't feel quite authentic. And it's very interesting, right, because it can lead through a very dark road comparison, you know, lack of probably self confidence, self esteem. Something I wanted to comment on that you mentioned was radical honesty, right? And there's something really. I really like this because that's actually how I attribute my connection to my wife, because of radical honesty. Right. I had two previous relationships, four years each, right. And I always felt like I wasn't sharing everything. There were things that I felt like I was keeping hitting. I was afraid of what were they going to think, you know, if I share these things, et cetera. And then when I started dating my now wife, I remember we were laying down in bed, you know, talking one day, and in my mind I was like, she doesn't. I was just telling myself, she doesn't know exactly who I am. You know, like all these things, all these good things that I've done, bad things that I've done, you know, all these things that I'm ashamed of. And she could tell that something was going in my mind and she was asking me, like, what's going on? And around that time, I was actually. I finished reading this book called the Truth by Neil Strauss. If you haven't read that book, it's amazing. It's out there, but it's pretty amazing. And he talks about kind of like the distance that gets created between you and one person when the truth is not being shared. And Also around that time, I was watching this random YouTuber that is called Social Animal. And all he does is go out in the street and meet random people. Like, he's like, you know, just be yourself out there. Talk to people, like, get rejected. It's totally okay. And he, it's a huge proponent of radical honesty. You know, when people go out on the streets, sometimes they're like, oh, your dog is cute. Is their dog cute? Or you actually just trying to, you know, talk to the girl that, you know, you might find attractive. Why not say, hey, I find you attractive and then start the conversation. You know, he was talking about all these things and, and one of the things that it says is like, what doesn't get says creates distance. And I had all this in my mind running while I was like laying there, you know, talking to my wife, my now wife. And I started like kind of crying. I'm just bawling my eyes out of. You think what's going on? I was like, all right, I got to, I got to share all this stuff. I'm like, some of it is going to be good, some of it is going to be bad. You know, if you want to leave after I share all this, like, leave. I totally understand. I won't judge you, but like, I need to get this off my chest. And I like, pretty much just like threw up all my truth on hair at that time. I'm telling you, we were talking like for like a month at that point. It was like pretty early on. She didn't run away. You know, clearly it worked out on the sense that I think I felt so bonded to her at that moment and, you know, I felt like she truly sees me for who I am and she stayed with me for who I am. And fast forward, right two years, we get married now we, we have a kid on the way. And I, I've said that same phrase to my brother a few times in business, right, Where I feel like maybe things haven't been said and you know, maybe we're just kind of like in the hustle of the business. And I come to him and I tell, hey, look, you know, what doesn't get says create distance. And I don't want that distance between the two of us. Like, let's discuss about it, let's talk about it. But I've never actually thought about it from the point of view of you and your audience, especially specifically in an expert based business, right, where, where your face is a brand, your truth is the brand, right? And now I'm seeing Like, guess what? It is true. Like, what Dawson gets creates distance between you and your audience as well. You know, my. My favorite creators are the ones that talk openly about these things, right? About these challenges and about what they've been through. And, you know, I. I do believe on maybe sharing the scar, not the wound to an extent, you know, because I don't. I also don't want people's brand to be like trauma bonding in a way, if that makes sense. Like. Like, do you really want to build your brand based off of trauma? I think it's more attractive to me the thought of build a brand based on healing. Right. And growth than the former. But I think it's interesting, right? And I want to explore that a little bit, right? Like that authenticity with your audience. And I think this resonated with you because you're like, oh, let me say something.