Former AFLW star Moana Hope has spent her life caring for others, including her dying father and her beloved sister Vinny, who has an intellectual disability. It wasn't until Mo was in her 30s that she realised she needed to learn how to love herself.

Content Warning: this episode of Conversations contains discussion of childhood abuse, domestic violence and suicidal ideation.

Moana Hope grew up with 13 siblings in a two-bedroom housing commission home in Melbourne's north west.

As a little girl, she played football with the boys and then with grown women, and in her 20s she took on full-time caring responsibilities for two of her nephews, as well as her sister, who lives with an intellectual disability.

This backstory, along with her natural talent for the game and charisma off the field, helped Mo stand out as a star of the women's game when the AFLW was launched in 2017.

Mo was a marquee player for Collingwood in the women's debut season.

But she retired earlier than she had planned to.

Post-AFLW, Mo had a lot of time to think about herself outside of football, and about the chaos and violence that was normalised in her childhood home.

But it wasn't until Mo became a mother herself, that she fully reckoned with her understanding of love.

Mo shares intimate snippets from her life on Instagram.

This episode of Conversations was produced by Meggie Morris. Executive Producer is Eliza Kirsch.

It explores AFL, the Pies, Melbourne, Glenroy, Maori heritage, Cancer, death, grief, caring, queerness, footy, Hawthorne, women's sports, cricket, mother daughter relationships, mother father relationships, personal work, therapy, inner child work, sisterhood, engineering, female business owners, motherhood, sons and mothers, violence, abuse, financial abuse, Essendon, GWS, Richmond, Adelaide.

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