Writer Cynthia Banham on discovering the shocking truth about her great-grandmother, reckoning with buried family secrets, and the criticisms mothers face from others and sometimes most harshly, from themselves.

Cynthia Banham grew up hearing the story of her great-grandmother, Natalina, who had supposedly been orphaned in Italy in the 19th century.

But when Cynthia became a mother herself she felt compelled to look for the real story of her maternal line, which suddenly stopped three generations back.

What she found shocked her -- a period of time when infant relinquishment was so common, the era became known as the 'century of foundlings', and her great-grandmother was one of them.

She had not been orphaned, as the family thought, but abandoned by a nameless mother.

Cynthia took off to Bologna, Italy with her own young family in tow to find the truth. Along the way she uncovered the stories of 'bastardini' (a home for bastards), literate midwives, epigenetics and possible incest.

Cynthia also stood in the house where Natalina was born, and came to terms with her own harsh judgement of herself as a mother.

Mother Shadow is published by Upswell.

Richard also spoke to Cynthia in 2023 about surviving the 2007 Garuda plane disaster in Indonesia.

This episode of Conversations was produced by Meggie Morris. Executive Producer is Nicola Harrison.

It explores ancestry, epigenetics, anthropology, family history, writing, books, orphans, adoption, child abandonment, truth, journalism, parenting with a disability, mothers in wheelchairs, self confidence as a mother, self criticism as a mother, marriage, love, mothers and sons, school communities, Indonesia, Garuda Indonesia Flight 200, memoir, modern history, travel, family bonding, wild gardening.