Week 1: Blueprints for God’s Design of Family

The family is God’s blueprint for human flourishing

Individuals and the church

Week 2: Laying The Foundation For Healthy Families

Biblical values form a strong foundation for healthy families

Individuals and the church

Today is about:

Quality Framing for Quality Families
Framing is what gives the house…

Structure
Strength/resilience
Holds up everything above it

This isn’t actually about building houses; it is about building STRONG, HEALTHY FAMILIES

Like houses, they also provide:

Structure
Strength/resilience
Holds up everything above it

The framing that supports a healthy family is…

MATURITY

The reason we’re talking about maturity is because…

Maturity is modeled and grown in the FAMILY

Family is the primary place where maturity takes place

Testing of maturity/quality

What is maturity?

Maturity is a learned QUALITY

Like a house that fell down — Lacked quality (Maturity)
Diamonds

Pressure
Time
Tough
Does not break
It does not get affected by things around it

Quality takes time

Quality is INTENTIONAL
We have a quality problem when it comes to our culture

Because we have a maturity problem

The Christian family and Church must reflect back the QUALITY of Christian maturity to the culture that surrounds it

Instead of the culture reflected in the family and church

Paul to the Corinthians

Colony of Rome
A melting Pot of culture
A key aspect to the city was The Temple of Aphrodite
Many new Christian families were acting like they were before following Jesus

“On the summit of this steep mountain stood the temple of Aphrodite, a symbol of the lust which pervaded the mind of the city”
Paul writes to correct and focuses on CHRISTIAN MATURITY
1 Corinthians 1

26 Brothers and sisters, consider your calling: Not many were wise from a human perspective, not many powerful, not many of noble birth. 27 Instead, God has chosen what is foolish in the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen what is weak in the world to shame the strong. 28 God has chosen what is insignificant and despised in the world—what is viewed as nothing—to bring to nothing what is viewed as something, 29 so that no one may boast in his presence. 30 It is from him that you are in Christ Jesus, who became wisdom from God for us—our righteousness, sanctification, and redemption— 31 in order that, as it is written: Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.

1: Christian Maturity is the Quality of Humility

Choosing to be humble or get humbled

Maturity is the ability to “GET OVER YOURSELF”

A Child is SELFISH

My toy
My Feelings over yours

We don’t give into CHILDISH SELFISHNESS; we teach MATURE SELFLESSNESS

A selfish person is an IMMATURE person

They only take from those around them
They don’t have maturity
Bring harm to those in a relationship with them

God can’t work with prideful hearts because they are a part of IMMATURE people

As families, we teach HUMILITY to one another

Peter says this about humility

1 Peter 5:5-7

5 In the same way, you who are younger (immature), be subject to the elders. All of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you at the proper time, 7 casting all your cares on him, because he cares about you.

1 Corinthians 3:1-4

3 For my part, brothers and sisters, I was not able to speak to you as spiritual people but as people of the flesh, as babies in Christ. 2 I gave you milk to drink, not solid food, since you were not yet ready for it. In fact, you are still not ready, 3 because you are still worldly. For since there is envy and strife among you, are you not worldly and behaving like mere humans? 4 For whenever someone says, “I belong to Paul,” and another, “I belong to Apollos,” are you not acting like mere humans?

5 What then is Apollos? What is Paul? They are servants through whom you believed, and each has the role the Lord has given (God’s Blueprints). 6 I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. 7 So, then, neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. 8 Now he who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his own reward according to his own labor. 9 For we are God’s coworkers. You are God’s field, God’s building.

10 According to God’s grace that was given to me, I have laid a foundation (values) as a skilled master builder, and another builds on it. But each one is to be careful how he builds on it. 11 For no one can lay any foundation other than what has been laid down. That foundation is Jesus Christ.

2: Christian Maturity is the Quality of Right Priorities

Learning to take care of your body as you get older

“If I knew then what I know now…”
Christian Maturity is KNOWING WHAT REALLY MATTERS

In life
To our faith
To us corporately
To us individually

The Corinthians were arguing over things that DON’T MATTER

Who was taught by who
Who was a better teacher
Who was baptized by who

Paul teaches that this was a SIGN of their IMMATURITY

Focus on what matters

A healthy family (Church or individual) teaches WHAT REALLY MATTERS

People over things
Purpose over pleasure
Forgiveness over bitterness
Generosity over jealousy
Etc

1 Corinthians 10:23-24

23 “Everything is permissible,” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible,” but not everything builds up. 24 No one is to seek his own good, but the good of the other person.

3: Christian Maturity is the Quality of Healthy Boundaries

How close to sinning can I actually be?

Try to rationalize all sorts of things…

Immaturity thinking says…

“How close to sinning can I get without actually sinning?”

Maturity says…

“Does this bring glory to God and benefit to those I lead around me?
Paul’s answer is…

1 Corinthians 10

31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God. 32 Give no offense to Jews or Greeks or the church of God, 33 just as I also try to please everyone in everything, not seeking my own benefit, but the benefit of many, so that they may be saved.
Healthy boundaries is the MATURITY to say NO

To certain people
To situations
To yourself

A sign of Immaturity is SELFISHNESS

A child does not know healthy boundaries

So, using our instructions from Paul, how can we build environments that PROMOTE MATURITY?
Raising Mature Kids:

1: Your kids can’t grow past your maturity level

Make sure you are pursuing maturity

2: Teach how to exercise SELFLESSNESS

Humility

3: Clear Expectations

Submission to authority
Value of hard work
How to forgive and be forgiven

4: Consistency of Teaching
Deuteronomy 6

6 These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. 7 Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Maturity for Couples:

1: Submitting to one another

Healthy Submission

2: Be willing to be challenged
3: Open and clear communication

Healthy communication is a clear sign of maturity

4: Seeking restoration vs revenge

Accepting compromise rather than compliance

For Individuals:

1: Choosing Right Opportunities
2: Choosing life-giving relationships

Friends
Dating

It is better to be alone than with someone who makes you miserable

Final Call for Christian Maturity

Hebrews 6

1 Therefore, let us leave the elementary teaching about Christ and go on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works, faith in God, 2 teaching about ritual washings, laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment.