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Courage & Clarity
103: From Spaghetti Throwing to Step by Step Progress with Dating Coach Renée Suzanne
00:23:51
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- [00:04]
Steph Crowder
Welcome to the Courage and Clarity podcast. I'm your host, Steph Crowder. I'm a former sales training director who's helped thousands of entrepreneurs earn a living doing something they love over the past 10 years. On your journey, you'll need the courage to be bold, to take risks, and to do what looks crazy on paper. You'll also need the clarity, the brass tacks, simple strategies that actually work. And on this podcast, we deliver both in equal measure. Oh, and by the way, we've got absolutely no time for bs, gross marketing tactics or get rich quick schemes. Just sustainable business strategies for good humans with big dreams. If that sounds like you, you're in the right place.
- [00:46]
Renee Suzanne
Let's go. Hey there.
- [00:50]
Steph Crowder
In today's podcast episode, you're going to hear an honest conversation between me and one of my current clients enrolled in my Mastermind called Sold Out Group Programs, formerly known as the Messy Middle. If you'd like to learn about the strategies that we're discussing today and figure out whether you could be a fit for my next cohort, Mastermind is open.
- [01:11]
Renee Suzanne
For enrollment right now. You can go to steph crowder.com mastermind to read all the details and submit an application.
- [01:19]
Steph Crowder
Enrollment is open right now, but only.
- [01:21]
Renee Suzanne
Through next Wednesday, October 2nd. And then we're not going to have another enrollment period until well into 2025.
- [01:29]
Steph Crowder
I will be your business coach and.
- [01:30]
Renee Suzanne
You will get access to all of.
- [01:32]
Steph Crowder
The coaching, support, curriculum templates. Everything you're going to hear me talk about with this client interview today go.
- [01:38]
Renee Suzanne
To steph crowder.com mastermind let's dive into today's client interview. Hello lovely CNC listeners. Welcome back to the podcast. I am so excited to welcome one of my clients onto the show with me today. I have Renee Suzanne here. Hi Renee.
- [01:57]
C
Hello.
- [01:58]
Renee Suzanne
It's so great to have you. Thanks for coming and hanging out with us.
- [02:01]
C
Thank you. It's so fun to be here.
- [02:03]
Renee Suzanne
Tell us a little bit about your business and who you coach and who you help.
- [02:08]
C
Okay, so I am a dating coach for women over 40. And the reason I do this is because I just have the saddest dating story in the history of anybody whoever.
- [02:23]
Renee Suzanne
I was like such a good storyteller.
- [02:26]
C
I was like a dating disaster. Like even as a teenager I was the girl crying in the corner that nobody ever asked to anything. And I had a rough time growing up. And then, long story short, I ended up being a. I was a single mom of four. And this was at the dawn of online dating, when it was still like super fringe. And weird. And I had these four kids in a really demanding job. Their father had passed away. So, like, no, help, no, here, go over to your dad so I can have the weekend off and whatever. Like, I was just in it. And dating was a nightmare. I was. I was a fairly young mom. Guys my age didn't have kids yet. I was just like this total misfit person. And I was, you know, a single mom and stressed out and working these big corporate jobs. And I was like, well, this is it. I'm just never going to find anybody. And then online dating started becoming more of a thing. And I tried it and I was terrible at it. And then I was like, oh, well, it's the kids. You know, nobody wants to date anybody with four kids. And then the kids grew up and then I had to be like, oh, maybe it wasn't the kids. Maybe it was me. That wasn't fun to think about. And so I'm like gorging on self help this whole time. I have this, this pathetic social life that consists of going to bookstores and reading books about what's wrong with me every weekend. And, oh, that was awesome. And then I finally, coaching was becoming a thing. We're talking by now. It was like, what was it? I think I hired my first coach in 2012. And I just. Man, it was just so rough. And I had all these by then, you know, and this happens with a lot of my clients too. And actually the parallels between this and business to me are fascinating. And we can talk a little bit about that. But I had all these stories built up by now about how awful dating was, and I was. It just wasn't meant to be for me. And I lacked some kind of flirting gene that completely toxic to relationships or something like, you know. But in my real life, I was, I mean, real life. But I was successful. I had. I had gotten a college degree. I managed to raise these four kids. I. I had friends. I wasn't a weirdo. But, like, as far as dating, I was just a complete disaster. So date coaching was becoming a thing. I hired a coach. I took some workshops. I really was like, all right, am I going to give up and just do girls trips and be happy with my dog and, you know, whatever? Or am I going to really go to the mat for this? And I would try to give up, but I couldn't give up. I just couldn't. When I thought about living the rest of my life just being single and not ever having anybody ever, I just, I could not make myself quit I kept going back into the ring and getting my lights punched out. And then I, you know, but I kept going back. I was a glutton for punishment. Hired a coach, worked with a coach or two, and it really was life changing. It still took me a couple years because I was very cringy about, oh, my God, am I going to invest in this? And I tell my girlfriends, hey, hired a dating coach. And they're like, what's wrong with you? And, you know, so it took me a couple of years still to do it, but it. It's. I spent 20 years at this before, so coaching really moved the needle. And I was like, this is. This is something that I want to do. I was at sort of over my corporate cubicle, financial services thing, and I was like, I'm too young to retire, but I can't wait. What else am I going to do? And this ended up being it. I love helping women see that there's just a better way to date and it doesn't have to suck.
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Renee Suzanne
You forgot the part of the story about how you got married. Tell us about that. I'm your own first client for sure.
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C
And a wonderful guy that I met on Tinder. He is awesome. We've been married for seven years now. I've had my business for 10 years, and we've been married for seven years. And so I really come by this honestly. I really did go from being an absolute dating disaster and relationship challenge and all the things to actually being happily married to a man I met on Tinder. And we got married when I was 49. So people are like, oh, but you're so pretty and you have your act together. And, you know, I'm like, I was a hell of a lot prettier 20 years ago. Anybody can do this, you know.
- [07:12]
Renee Suzanne
Oh, so good.
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C
Okay, so swear.
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Renee Suzanne
Of course you did. Yeah, you're good.
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C
They're done.
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Renee Suzanne
Totally good. So tell us you joined the, you know, previously known as the Messy Middle Mastermind, now we're calling it sold out group programs. But this is your first cohort working with me. Take us to when you. If we kind of rewind the tape. You joined the cohort that started in April of this year. So we're like four months out of six months in at this point. Tell us what, you know, business was like when you joined and what you really like. What made you decide to. To join this program?
- [07:50]
C
Yeah, so my business journey has been not quite as bumpy as my dating life, but. But it's not this starting a business thing is We. I think we so get. At least I did. Like, I really thought I was just gonna clean out my shingle and start my website and put some videos on YouTube and people were going to come running. I really believed that.
- [08:18]
Renee Suzanne
And people think it's easy, for sure.
- [08:20]
C
Yeah, it was so not easy. So I was getting my butt kicked just like I was with dating. And I did. I didn't have a problem investing. I was. I was really squeamish about investing in dating, coaching. I wasn't squeamish about investing in my business at all. But what I did wrong, I think looking back at my very turbulent journey is like, I would just sort of do these Hail Mary investments or think like, okay, I'll throw some money at this. And then I got. I'm not. I'm not going to say I got burned. I'm going to take responsibility for the investments that I made. But what I didn't really do is think about where the gaps were in my knowledge and what I was going to need to learn to do next. I would just get sucked into this marketing hype around whoever the coach du jour was and just get sucked into that and spend a bunch of money and just not get the results that I wanted and not really know why. And I was kind of trying to take the more strategic approach and think about where were the gaps in my knowledge, where was I? Where was I? What skills was I hoping to gain from this program instead of just like going in for all the hype? And. And I love. You're not like super hype. Like, look at me in my gazillion dollar house, flying around the world with the laptop lifestyle and all that. You're. You're very real. You're very down to earth. I never heard of you until I was in your BFF Claire's program. I joined Absolute Facebook Ads, which is awesome. And she was promoting her program and I didn't qualify for it. And I just reached out to her on Instagram and I'm like, I don't meet the income requirements for your program. And, like, I'm like, so ashamed. Like, I've been at this for so long, and I'm still, you know, not at the income level that it would require. Like, do you. Do you have any recommendations of how I could. How I could get there? And she's like, you gotta. You gotta check out my friend's stuff. She helps people with your, you know, at your income level. So I started listening to your podcast and, like, totally started bingeing Your podcast. And I just liked what you said. I was kind of thinking about starting a group program because of some health challenges that had happened in my family and really wanting to leverage my time a little better. And I really felt like I had the chance to do that. Maybe not income and promotional wise, like list size, but I had enough clients. I'd been doing this for 10 years. And I know what steps are required between, like, hey, I really want to find someone. And, and here's how to. Here's how to get you out there. Dating and dating somebody that really is going to be able to go the distance with you. And I really felt like I was able to put together a good curriculum. But as far as the business end of it, I know what I'm talking about with dating. But I really felt like, how am I going to market this thing? How am I going to get in front of people? How am I going to build the skills that it takes to get this business where I want it to go? And you were just very real about, hey, yeah, we're going to work on this. On selling. We're going to work on the. You didn't like, throw magic fairy dust at me, like, oh, yeah, rah, rah, let's. Let's build this funnel and it's going to be so easy and people will just be throwing money at you. It wasn't like this big question mark magic thing that was supposed to just happen. If I paid you, you were like, yeah, you're going to have to learn how to sell.
- [12:33]
Renee Suzanne
Yeah, I made you work. One thing about you, Renee, is you work. I'm like, you got to go to work. And you say, okay, I'm ready.
- [12:38]
C
I'm like, yeah, let's do it. Yeah.
- [12:41]
Renee Suzanne
Yeah. So for someone like you, I think about your time in the Mastermind, and, you know, a lot of our clients really take advantage of some of the core curriculum. In particular my buzz blitz process, which is, you know, all of the templates that are available to help you write all of your emails. When you're putting together a group program, they work for one on one as well. You've sold, you know, you've done your group launch and you've been selling one on one in the program. So we have people that are. That's totally. It totally works for both kinds of offers. So you're someone who's used a lot of those assets. And when I think of you, I also think about a lot of the work that we've done. I don't know if I Talk about this enough on the podcast, but I do a lot of deep messaging work with my clients, like, really helping them kind of get to the heart of the sort of, like, juicy, tantalizing, what is the thing that your best fit clients, like, truly need to hear? Kind of getting inside their head and coming up with some of the fundamental shifts that are required for someone to go from being stuck in their pattern. That's not helping them get results. In your case, your clients are just either like, not dating at all or they're dating terrible guys that aren't making them happy. We've really done a lot of deep diving into unpacking your messaging and figuring out how to honestly how to be more compelling, which I think in turn helps you be of better service to your clients. Because if we're more compelling, then we actually sign more clients. We get to help more people. So what would you like to share with us in terms of all. Like, out of all of the sort of resources I just mentioned that we've really gone deep with you in particular. What has that experience been like?
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C
Yeah, you really have. And I really. I. So I dove. And I was one of your early. Your people to sign up for the cohort. So I got access to the curriculum ahead of time. I don't know if you still did do that, but it is. I'm like. So I got in there and I, like, started nerding out, like, immediately. I would just be watching all of your videos and taking notes and implementing. And I even did a launch using your Buzz Blitz before this cohort was officially open. Yep. Because I was able to have access to those materials. And then when the mastermind officially started, I had numbers and we debriefed my launch together. Yeah. Done. Just with the access to the curriculum, which was extremely valuable. And you really helped me see, okay, where like, unpack the stuff that I had done and look at what could I do differently right away. I got going on that right away. But then what we've been working on a lot lately is, and I love that we get to. We have the Slack channel and we get to apply for coaching on the calls. And you pretty much have always been able to coach me when. When I've asked for it. And we've done some really great deep dives into how do I communicate my. The value of what I have to offer to my clients and help them understand, like, if this is for them and really be able to communicate that value. And that is not something that I was able to really get to on My own. So I love that you have that level of support in this, in this Mastermind. And I've got to tell you, I've, I'm like, and I know I shared this on the forum, but I've paid a lot more for Mastermind that haven't been able to deliver that level of support. And it's really hard to, at least for me to sit over here in my low office with my dog and try to figure out what do I say to these people. And you know, it. It really helps me to talk about it with someone like you who can really offer me feedback and ask really good questions and help me dive a little deeper. And that is just worth so much to me. The realizations, the light bulbs that have gone off from that and it's really helped me to dial in my messaging and people are responding to my emails now. It's really a whole new level of not only copy but what I've been able to communicate like in my emails, my live streams, my webinars just is totally next level because of the level of thinking and the level of feedback and support I've gotten in this container.
- [17:22]
Renee Suzanne
Yeah, exactly. One of the things you said that I just want to highlight and get your thoughts on is you had said you will get support, comprehensive, detailed feedback, suggestions, strategy and all the support. No one is left behind in this container. So I didn't ask you to say that.
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C
Right.
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Renee Suzanne
That was something that you came up with that, that really struck me because I think most of us, many of us can think of examples of places. I hear that a lot from folks where they're like, I don't want to be lost. Like I've paid serious money and felt lost in the noise or lost in the sauce and like just, you know, I wasn't able to show up. I wasn't able to really truly be seen and understood by the coach in the program. So when you said this, like no one is left behind in this container, what does that mean?
- [18:06]
C
I feel like you really know. Not just me, but everybody. I see you in this lack every day, you and Kami and you know what we're doing. You're not like, like you, you really, I could tell you think about us.
- [18:19]
Renee Suzanne
I do. I'm a nerd. I go for walks and I think about you all. Yeah, creepy as that sounds, I with my clients too.
- [18:27]
C
I'm like out walking my dog and I'm like, oh, how do I. I see this is happening and how do I, how do I commute? You know what Can I do that's next level that I can really support this person in getting what she wants? How can I say it a different way? I do that too. And yeah, it just. You really are invested in our success. It's not all just like you. You just really are. And. And I can tell, it's. It's obvious to me, you know, what we're doing, you know, what each of us is doing in our business. You know, where we're at. You track our success. We fill out, you know, forms every week. You know how much we've made. I thought I hadn't made my money back, and you were like, you got $500 to go. Now I have made my money back.
- [19:17]
Renee Suzanne
And we've got two months left in the program too. Yeah, yeah.
- [19:20]
C
So amazing.
- [19:22]
Renee Suzanne
Well, Renee, I'm going to ask you in a minute to tell folks where they can find you online. But before we do that, what. You know, as we kind of close down our conversation for people who are really thinking about joining, but you know, it's so natural to. Of course, just like you, you mentioned in your thought process, like, really trying to be more discerning with your investments and making sure. I think a lot of people are in that boat and I really respect that. Making sure that we're not just doing. I like the way you phrased it, business, investment, Hail Mary's, like, oh, maybe this person will be the person that just makes it all, you know, work, but instead really thinking through these investments and wanting it to be, you know, wanting it to be something that. That sticks and that gets that return on investment. For people who are going through that process themselves right now and thinking about joining this container, which is now going to be a year long, so having me as your business coach for the next year, what would you want them to know or what would you say kind of in conclusion for people who are making that decision.
- [20:20]
C
So are you still doing the. The calls where. Because you just. I just got on Zoom with you and I had a list of questions like, if I do this, I want to make a solid plan to get my investment back. And I this to be a Hail Mary. Here's where I'm at in my business. Here is where I would like to go. What path do you see for me in your program? Do you think this is a good fit? And I really felt like you would tell me if it wasn't. I really felt like you would be like, you know, maybe like. Like Claire did. Claire is like, you gotta go talk to stuff. Yeah, he didn't just take my money and like, oh, go to work, you know, and I knew that you were going to be straight with me, and we did develop a plan to make my investment back, and I did. So if you are thinking about doing this at all, like, please don't do what I did the first, I don't know, maybe eight years of my business, and just hail Mary on the latest marketing. Get on the phone with Steph with your questions. Think about this. You know, make. Make a list of questions. Make a plan for getting your investment back. Steph will help you with it. She's. And that's, that's what I did is I, I did my homework. I had listened to your podcast. I really thought about what I wanted to get out of this program. And, you know, what was it going to take to get there? And was, was this a fit? And you, you and I would just got on the call and figured it out, and I ended up signing up. And I'm really glad that I did.
- [21:59]
Renee Suzanne
Yes, that's such good advice. And to answer your question, yes, you, anybody who's listening, if you want to book a call with me, I sat with Renee for an hour. I'll sit with anybody for an hour who. I'll look at your application. All you have to do is apply. And if it's a good fit, if it feels like it could be a good fit, you will be invited to book a call. And that is exactly what we do on those calls, is we really do the numbers. And if, if you want to, we can talk about anything on those calls. But I generally help my prospective clients make a plan for, like, if you're going to come and be in this space for a year, what are you trying to get out of it? Let's identify your key opportunities and make a plan for earning back your investment. Because once you earn back your investment, it's all just profit from there. Everything that you're learning with me is profit. And so that's. I think that's really great advice. So for anyone who's listening, who's like, you know, at least kind of curious, you have nothing to lose by submitting an application. We can have our next steps call together, and we'll take it from there. And to your point, I absolutely tell people that it's not the right fit right now because that does neither of us any good to, you know, have you come in and end up, you know, not getting the results in the program. So I think that is excellent advice. Renee, please tell the people where they can find you online if they want to learn more about you and talk to you about their dating journey.
- [23:14]
C
Sure. Yeah. You can find me@reneesusancoaching.com and when you go there, I have a great plan for you to find your man. You can also go to Bit Ly Man Plan and the man plan is all in gaps. So if you can't remember, Renee Sandcoaching.com, go to bit Ly Man Plan. You'll get a plan to help you find an amazing guy that you want to date so you can stop spinning your wheels trying to find him. And I would love to help you do that.
- [23:44]
Renee Suzanne
Amazing. Renee, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. It was great to talk to you.
- [23:47]
C
You are so welcome. Great to talk to you too.