Loading summary
Transcript2 lines
- [00:04]
A
Welcome to the Courage and Clarity podcast. I'm your host, Steph Crowder. I'm a former sales training director who's helped thousands of entrepreneurs earn a living doing something they love over the past 10 years. On your journey, you'll need the courage to be bold, to take risks, and to do what looks crazy on paper. You'll also need the clarity, the brass tacks, simple strategies that actually work. And on this podcast, we deliver both in equal measure. Oh, and by the way, we've got absolutely no time for bs, gross marketing tactics or get rich quick schemes. Just sustainable business strategies for good humans with big dreams. If that sounds like you, you're in the right place.
- [00:46]
B
Let's go. Hello there CNC listeners. Welcome back to the podcast. Thank you so much for joining me for today's episode. This is a walk and talk episode on an absolutely picture perfect October day. It's slightly chilly. I'm getting a little bit of movement. As you all know, I've shared before, sometimes I get some of my best ideas when I'm out here walking and I'm really kind of feeling that energy flowing. So I'm taking you with me on a walk today and I'm really excited. To break down today's episode. We're going to cover something that I have really come to see as a business strategy. It might not seem like it at first. Okay, when we talk about business strategy, you when you kind of think about that phrase, the images that come to mind are probably the more obvious things like how are we making the money? What are we saying online? What's on our sales page, how are we talking to prospects? What does client delivery look like? Right. But what we're going to talk about today is has nothing to do with and yet it has everything to do with it. We are going to talk about how to have a restful staycation to reset your burnt out brain and to deeply rest to counterbalance hard, hard, hard work with hard, hard, hard rest. This has become so essential in my tool belt and I don't know that I talk about it enough. I certainly haven't broken it down like an actual step by step strategy. I know it might sound so weird to be like you need a strategy for rest because the term rest makes you. How are we complicating this? It's like literally rest. But if you're anything like me, and a lot of you are kind of high achieving perfectionist types who sort of get stuck in the on position the way that I do sometimes feel like the energizer Bunny and I'm like, where is the off button? It can actually be really difficult to get into a state of rest when you've been in maybe more of a fight or flight state. And look, as entrepreneurs, especially those of us who are entrepreneur parents, who are in the trenches of busy schedules and running businesses and all of the other commitments and demands of our lives, it really makes sense that, you know, working hard and being on all the time actually comes much more easily to us than resting. And so at the same time, though, a lot of us are walking around in a state of burnout or semi burnout where, you know, this can show up. I could have a whole separate episode about, like, how this shows up. Maybe you're just really tired. You might be uninspired, you might just be feeling like you're working all the time. For me, I start to feel like I can't sit still, which is so counterintuitive because it's like actually the more I need deep rest, the more I am unable to put my phone down, the more I find myself taking up my phone in every down moment, kind of just like licking between my apps. And so when I'm in that state, it's actually a signal to me that I think what's happening is like my brain is trying to rest, like it's trying to do, you know, get into some leisure time, like watching TikTok videos or whatever. But as we all know, that's not actual rest. And I end up using a lot of my time, wasting a lot of my time, frankly, in activities that might feel kind of fun on the surface, like an endless stroll hole on TikTok, but aren't actually recharging my batteries. And so I want to talk to you about how to do a staycation that is truly restful. I am just coming back from a staycation that I just did this weekend and I am going to tell you exactly what I think you should do. You only need 24 hours. And this is going to be my 24 hour protocol that I use that actually helps me recharge and come back feeling like I'm ready to get back to work and I'm actually rested. Okay, now, quick caveat to say, of course, like, feel free to do it your own way. Um, this is just my suggestion. This is something that I've been doing and playing with for years. Year, really, since I became a parent eight years ago. I have played with these little kind of quick, potent staycation evenings, 24 hours, sort of overnight. But you can do it your own way. I'm going to kind of give you my latest and greatest, but obviously make it your own. That's. If I say something, you're like, that doesn't sound good to me. You know what to do. Kind of try to take what works for you and leave the rest. That's the first thing I'll say. Caveat number two is before you dismiss this, this is always what happens with my busy parents, my busy moms, especially your brain. A lot of you, some of you, your brain is going to be like, I couldn't possibly do that, right? Like, nope, I can't. And here, here are like, all of my reasons why this wouldn't work for me. I get that. Couple things about that. Number one, that happens to me too. And I find that the more resistance I have to pulling myself out of the stray for 24 hours. 24 hours, guys. Okay? The more resistance I have to pulling myself out of the fray, the more I actually need it. Let me say that one more time. The more resistance I have to taking 24 itty bitty hours to myself, the more resistance I have that. The more I have the thought, oh, I couldn't possibly. The more I actually need it. It's actually a signal that I am so stuck in fight or flight that I cannot, like, my creativity is so down that I can't even imagine, like, removing myself. Okay? So I just want to invite you to consider that that could be a signal that you really need this. But the second thing is some of you are in a position where you maybe really can't do this. And I totally want to recognize that, you know, if you're a parent and you don't have a partner that you can rely on to take your kids for 24 hours or whatever your circumstance might be. I want to encourage you a couple things. Number one, I want to encourage you to fully explore your options. Okay? And that might be like, is it time to try the overnight babysitter for the first time? Okay, you deserve a break. If that is still not a possibility, let's still, like, continue to get creative, right? Like, maybe you can't sleep overnight somewhere because this is going to involve going to a hotel in your town. You could be three miles from your house for all I care. It doesn't matter. But if that is truly, truly not a possibility, we don't have to be so black or white about it. You could do all of the things I'm saying, come back to your house and sleep, have a babysitter in the evening and then have a babysitter come back over in the morning. You are the master of your life. You know what is life? The difference between you're uncomfortable and you need to push yourself for the greater good of your family. I promise you it's in the greater. For the greater good of your family and your business and yourself. You know, the difference between the discomfort and like, literal actual impossibility. Okay, so you're in charge, but I just want to encourage you to suspend disbelief. Know that your brain is going to be like, I couldn't do that. I couldn't do that. Like, as I'm saying these things, you're going to have resist resistance as normal again. It's a sign that you need it, but just try to be open as you listen to this and figure out how this can apply to you. Okay, so the 24 hour restful business owner Parent Staycation. That's what I come up with a snappier name, but that's what I'm thinking of this as. Now, if you're a longtime listener of the podcast, you might recall long ago I had a very popular episode that was called My Business Staycation. And I used to do this much more than I do now, where I would take maybe one night a quarter. Ideally, sometimes it wouldn't be quite that much, but I would take this one night and I would get a hotel near my house and it would really be about business. It would be about dreaming and journaling and planning and getting kind of like 90 days of a plan together. I no longer really use my staycation for that. Okay. I have other ways of being supported in how I make my business plan. I'm in a mastermind. I have a coach. I have multiple coaches of my own, which you guys know, I always recommend. Like, I'll never go without that ever again as long as I'm a business owner. Because you need that support outside of your own brain to help you make progress. And also, many of you know that my business bestie, Claire Pels and I get together pretty frequently and go to hotels together. And we usually do part rest, as I'm going to be describing in this episode. But then of course, we do a little bit of masterminding together as well. So you can absolutely do a business meetup kind of mastermind situation with friends. And in fact, I really recommend that a few times a year at least get some. Get some friends and meet up with them. Okay, that could be another episode. But it's so important. And lately I've been doing that mostly with my friend Claire. I've got some other friends that I do that kind of thing with as well. But Claire and I have been trying to get together multiple times a year, sometimes a lot of times, like in tandem with going to events together. But we always take a little bit of time to do restful activities together. So that is one thing you could do. And I recommend that. But this episode is about solitude. It's about doing it alone. It's about a solo 24 hour staycation. So this is not about like having 24 hours in a hotel with your partner, although that can be lovely and great and romantic as well. Again, I recommend. But this episode is about doing it solo. Okay. And I think just a quick sidebar on that. I think it is important to explore going through this process a hundred percent alone. Because again, if you're like me, parent, entrepreneur, busy, busy, busy, you are stimulated all the time, overstimulated as. And the idea of just kind of being in solitude for 24 hours, I don't know about you, maybe it's because I'm more on the extroverted side. Maybe my introverts have no problem with that. But I was a little scared going into my 24 hour staycation this weekend. I was like, what if I get lonely? Like what? Like I'm a safe. Right? And I could just tell that again, I. I needed to lean into the discomfort of whatever feelings were gonna come up in the silence and solitude. Right. That stuff is trying to come to the surface when I'm rushing around in my dizzy life. And so one of the things I decided to do in this 24 hour period was just allow the quiet to do its thing. Okay? So if you're a little bit daunted by and feel like that really sounds fun to do that, this all by myself. I think that's an invitation. You know, it might be, it might be a mix, like it was for me, of fun. And it's a little uncomfortable to be so alone when you're in a life that is so full. But I think again, it's really important if you want to fully plug in your batteries, right? So, okay, let's start to get into what the heck do I do during a 24 hour session. Now, again, I just want to say I was thinking about this. My suggested activities are really customized to me and you might hear this and be like, I would hate. Like, I was thinking about my husband, who was very apt. I know I've mentioned this on the podcast before. You're gonna Hear me talk about reading, you're gonna hear me talking about bonds. He would hate that, right? So I was thinking about him and I was like, how, like, what is his version of this? And the truth is he goes off and does races by himself. He will go and do a triathlon, right? That might be his version of the 24 hour staycation. So if you're someone like that, maybe you need to do like a 24 hour solo hiking trip. Maybe you need to get outdoors and have your staycation center around nature. Okay. I just wanted to give an example of like, you hear my suggestion and you're like, wow, that sounds terrible. You don't have to do it my way. I want you to try to think about what would make sense for you. Again, coming back to the idea of like truly filling your cup. I want you to think about parenting yourself. I want you to think about taking such good care of yourself. Like, if you're a mom, you're mothering other people all the time. If you're a dad, you're fathering people all the time, right? You're parenting all the time. And it's like, who's parenting you? Who is parenting you? Just because you're in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, doesn't mean you don't need a mom anymore, right? You can be your own mom. And it is. Sounds corny, but it's like so tender and so nourishing to give that love to yourself. So that's one of the things I want you to think about. Okay, so with your 24 hours, here are some of the things I want you to think about. The first thing that I like to do. Well, first of all, you're going to book a hotel and it can be whatever you want. It could be. I've done this at a super, super close hotel to my house. Just, you know, when my kids were like babies, like really little, just in case I needed to rush back home again. That's not ideal. Encourage telling anybody that you're available for that necessarily. But like, there's a time and a place for that. If it makes you more comfortable. If possible, I really recommend treating yourself to a nice hotel. You deserve it. You work your butt off. Okay? If you're coming off of a launch, if you've just signed a new client, take a little bit of money and go for the nice hotel. That's what I like to do. I like to stay in a really nice hotel here in my town. I go all the way downtown, I valet the car and I don't leap. Okay. I like to plug into this abundant energy of, like, I deserve to be here. I deserve nice accommodations. I deserve to feel a little luxury for 24 hours. Okay? So challenge yourself to receive that if it's a possibility for you. And again, I do want to press you on this. Okay, so I like to book a nice hotel. I have one that I use regularly, and it's become. It's become familiar, which is also kind of nice. It's a little bit of like a home away from home for me when I do these vacations. So that can be really nice. And so you're going to book your hotel just again, just one night. And when you leave your house, the first thing on the docket is I like to do a little browsing or shopping. So if you're somebody who likes to shop, whether that is regardless of what your interest is, it could be clothes, it could be books. This time I actually decided I the theme of my staycation was like, I wanted to take a really long, luxurious shower. Moms get it. We don't really get a chance to take, like a really, really, really nice, long shower as long as we want. And so I decided I was going to go into Ulta, like a beauty store and pick out fun new products. Okay, so like a face mask, a hair mask. I mean, I did. Did it up big. I got all kinds of fun new products to treat myself to. So I spent a little time browsing and trying out, like, grabbing some new things, smelling things, smelling candles, and picked out some goodies. And then I did the same thing at Whole Foods. I wanted to get some really tasty snacks. In previous iterations of my citations, I would treat myself to a lot of cocktails. Used to really like myself a fancy cocktail, but I don't drink alcohol anymore. And so I replace that with going to Whole Foods and picking out no fewer than, like, four different fun drinks, like kombuchas and, you know, poppy soda or ollie pop or whatever. And little treats, little snacks, little healthy nourishment to bring to the hotel with me. Okay, so that is the first thing you're going to do on your solo staycation is give yourself a little time to shop around, to browse around. Do you want to go to a farmer's market? Do you want to go to a thrift store? Like, where do you want to get yourself a nice coffee and just take yourself out on a little afternoon date? So your solo staycation is starting around noon on whatever day. Okay, so that's where you're going to. That's where your journey is going to begin. And then after you kind of had your fill of that, you're ready to get to your hotel, you're going to go and check in, you're going to take your stuff to your room, you're going to get settled, you're going to get everything set up, and then I'm going to suggest that you leave your room and go do something kind of in the company of other people again, while being alone. What I like to do is I'm a big reader. I like to read fiction. Again, I don't want you necessarily reading self help and productivity. This is not the time to bring your business book. You are unplugging. You are being a person outside of your business so that your business can benefit. Okay? So bring, you know, your, your, your like colored pencils and your coloring book. Bring your fiction, bring your knitting, whatever you're into, bring that with you. So what I did is I was like, I want to really just like have so much time to read. That's what sounded good to me. So I took my book and I went down to the lobby of this hotel. There's a little fireplace and I just got cozy. I got myself a nice mocktail at the bar and I just sat there and I read for a while. So that's the second thing on the docket is an activity, a restful activity that you can do in the company of other people. You know, you could go to a coffee shop, you could like somewhere cozy. You're going to go somewhere cozy and you're just going to do something you love to do. Okay, that is the second step. Now some people might decide to go sit at a bar at like, at a restaurant, right? And like take yourself out to a meal in the company of other people, but you're by yourself. That's, that's also a great option. So that's the second thing you're going to do. And then the third thing you're going to do is time to go back to your room, kind of get cozy for the night. So this is the moment where I went back to my room and did my amazing luxurious shower. I'm talking bathrobe again. Hair mask, face mask, foot mask, fun products, like, really go all out and just do my own kind of personal spa moment. You could get yourself a manicure. You could do whatever makes you feel good, um, and really draw it out, like drag it out, get some good spa music on. I know lighting a candle in a hotel might be Proud con. But I'm gonna leave that suggestion there for you to take or not take. Right. And make it Zen. Make it feel good. You know, there might be something that you want to have on in the background. Like, for example, my favorite football team was playing, so I had that on in the background, just muted so I could kind of keep an eye on the football game. Again, make it feel comfortable and cozy for you. And room service. You're going to do room service if you have not taken yourself out for a meal. I love in this moment, just kind of being in for the night by myself in my robe, ordering something delicious and nutritious is kind of what I'm going for on these restful staycations. You can totally go for the burger if you want to. I definitely have before, but I sort of like to get something that has some vegetables. Again, the theme of this is taking care of myself, nourishing myself. I'm hydrating, I'm drinking coconut water. I mean, I'm being a little ridiculous with it, right? I'm kind of exaggerating it. But again, I think there is something so profound about exaggerating your love for yourself. I know it sounds corny and cliche, but it actually feels amazing. And so that's what you're doing at this moment in the evening. You are ordering your room service, you are getting cozy in your robe, and you're enjoying this moment to yourself. Okay? Finish off the night doing something you love. Again, I just kept reading my book. You could watch a show, maybe a comfort show, a movie you've been wanting to watch. Something that you haven't been able to watch at home because your kids and your partner are always fighting over the tv. Something just for you that's going to make you feel good and then you're going to get a great night's sleep, uninterrupted. No kids, no nothing. Okay, that is your evening. Now, the following day in the morning, I want you to continue pouring into yourself by doing something that. Again, the theme here is taking amazing care of ourselves. Few options. I like to go to the spa. This time I went to the spa in the morning. I woke up, got myself a coffee, had a little tiny bit of breakfast, and got a facial at a really nice spa that is in my hotel and just allowed myself to enjoy that experience. I'm talking sauna, I'm talking relaxation room. Again, is it bougie? Yes. And it's one 24 hour period. Okay, I'm not saying to do this every week. I'm saying to do this, maybe every quarter, maybe a couple times a year, maybe once a year, if that's where you need to start. But you deserve it. Okay? If you want to get a facial, get a facial. If you want to get a massage, do it. If that doesn't appeal to you, think of something that really kind of feels a little bit bougie. I feel that, like, maybe you let yourself go make a purchase that, you know, if you're like a handbag person, maybe it's time to go shop for that. But, like, part of this is identity work, my friends. As entrepreneurs, we have to step into the version of your life that you really and truly want. And you gotta let yourself have it. You gotta let yourself have it. We have to stop waiting for the million dollars to hit the bank account, okay? For X Milestone to start treating ourselves like we're worthy. So I'm not sure what that looks like for you, but this is my version, so I'm sharing it with you because I got to tell you, it's pretty epic. So I did my facial, I brought my book, drank my coffee. I'm going to put together a reel for Instagram too. So if you want to see the visual of everything I'm describing, I have some clips for you. So really enjoyed my spa moment. Then you're going to go back to your room. Oh, by the way, another suggestion I have is if you don't want to do that, you could go to the nice hotel gym, get a good workout, get a good walk. Maybe as you're staying in a different part of town than where you live, you could take yourself on a nice coffee stroll and just enjoy your one beautiful life. Enjoy the fact that the sun came up today and you're alive to see it. Okay? Do something along those lines. Then you're gonna go back to your room, you're gonna pack up, you could get late checkout if you want. I decided to pack up my stuff. I gave my bag to the concierge, and I took my book back to the cozy reading area, the lounge, and I continued to read. I had myself lunch in a restaurant again with my book. I'm just reading, reading, reading. And then that was my 24 hours. That was it. And then I came back into my life, and I gotta tell you something, I. By the end of this 24 hours, felt like leading up to this point, I. I'm tired. I just went through a huge launch. I have a lot of clients that I'm serving. You know, I don't need to tell you all the ways in which I'm busy. You guys get it because you're living it too, right? I was fantasizing over having free time. I was like, what would it even be like to just read for hours? Like, lot of luxury. Like, what would that be like? I was just like fantasizing over that. And I was even like envying maybe like colleagues and friends who I see online who don't have kids. And I was harboring these thoughts of like. And of course, these are just my thoughts. This isn't even true. But I would look at that and be like, oh my God, they have like unlimited free time. I'm so jealous. And I was feeling these feelings, envy. And I just was sitting in that and realizing how much I had given away my own power. Because even if you have kids or other limitations or demands on your life, you are still in charge of your existence. And you can create experiences of, again, luxury. Whether that's time luxury or environmental luxury. We can create that for ourselves. And here's what happened when I did. I gave myself what I had been fantasizing over. I gave myself just hours and hours and hours and hours of read, a free time of unstructured rest. And you want to know what happened by the end of that rest? I was like, all right, I think I'm kind of ready to get back to work now, right? And it wasn't coming from like a stressed out place. It wasn't like, oh my God, I feel so guilty. I've been offline. It wasn't like that at all. Like, I'm coming to this episode right now feeling more plugged in. I have gotten back on Instagram. I had sort of been like, I can't even do Instagram right now. I don't want to show my face. Like, just kind of putting myself in my turtle shell because I'm honestly was like getting tired and sort of starting to creep into that burnout territory and even just taking again, it's not that much time, 24 hours. By the time I came back, I was like, all right, it's gonna be fun to get back to work. Like, I actually had that thought. I was like, I'm ready. I was like, bring it on. You know, it felt so good to just chill and recharge. And I feel genuinely refreshed. I feel inspired. I feel ready to roll up my sleeves and start to go into another busy period of time. Which for long time friends and followers here, we're going into year on the wall season. My friends you didn't think we were doing it, right? No, we're doing it. That's a huge effort for me. And just 24 hours later, I'm like, let's go, let's do it. Just feel whole. This is a business strategy. Again, I know it sounds. And there's people out there who might have some things to say. Oh, that's so bougie. Oh, that's so, you know, like, just like, look at her, et cetera. But I promise you, it's a business strategy, okay? Your clients, your customers, your family, people in your life need you to take care of yourself. And they don't need you to take care of yourself a little bit. They need you to take care of yourself loudly, unapologetically, and a little bit ridiculously. Make it, make it bold. Make, make the way that you take care of yourself almost hilariously big. Like, if we picture having a paintbrush with paint, you're painting big circles, okay? You're not just doing little bits of self care here and there. You are making a self care statement. Because when you do that, what you are saying to yourself and the world around you is, I deserve deep rest. I deserve to be fully nourished. I deserve to feel comfortable and loved and whole. And I give myself that gift in tandem with my partner or whoever I have to support me. If you're a parent or even if not, like, we all have our own, I know how hard it could be. Even if you're not a parent, I know how hard it can be. Pull yourself away from your responsibilities for 24 hours. But the way that you deserve it, I cannot say that enough. And also your family will benefit. When you think about the way, like sometimes something that really helps me is to think about how I want my daughter to live her life when she's an adult. This is actually one of the big reasons stop drinking alcohol because I would be kind of hungover and it would be sort of ruining my weekend and I would. I had to stop one day where I was like, is this how I want her to be in her 30s? And I just remember feeling like, oh my gosh, I hope this, I hope this she's not stuck in this cycle of like feeling good, drinking cocktails and feeling like crap the next day. It just shook me. And so when I think about how I want my kids to function as adults, I'm like, I want them to have the world. I want them to be able to stay anywhere, any cool hotel, and explore and feel joy and love themselves and just feel that so fully, and it truly is the definition of putting on your own oxygen mask first, which I know we've heard that expression, but I want you guys to take that idea and just blow it out of the water. Forget putting the oxygen mask on first. It's like I want you in the full oxygen chamber before you ask yourself to go back to your life of where you are giving, giving, giving to everybody else all the time, your business included. Your business will thank you for it. Your business will thrive. Your leadership of your clients, they will see you differently. You will only benefit from doing this in addition to how wonderful it will feel. Even though, yes, I'm asking you to spend some money on this, it will come back to you 10x in your own happiness and in your business results too. So, my friends, I hope you will try this. It's 24 hours. Start small if you need to. This again is a practice that I've been building for eight years. So my version of a staycation is maybe a little bit more grandiose. I started at the Holiday Inn down the street. Okay, it counts, it's worth it. And I really hope you give it a try and I hope you make it your own. If you don't like my version, I hope you come up with your own. I would love to hear if you take yourself on a restful staycation. Tell me about your experience. You can reach out to me on Instagram eyestefcrowder or reply to any of my emails. It truly would make my day to hear whether or not this episode was helpful to you. Okay, my friends, that's all for now. I'm wishing you the courage and the clarity to go after what you love.