Courage & Clarity – Episode 151: The Day I Wanted to Be Sold (and Wasn’t)
Host: Steph Crowder | Date: September 15, 2025
Episode Overview
In this candid and story-driven episode, Steph Crowder shares a personal experience that shifted her perspective on what it really means to "sell"—and why good, even assertive, sales can truly serve potential buyers. Reflecting on her unexpectedly frustrating journey of family car shopping, Steph unpacks why many entrepreneurs' fear of being too "pushy" in sales may actually do a disservice to people craving help and clarity as they consider big decisions.
This episode is a blend of heartfelt storytelling, practical sales philosophy, and encouragement for business owners to embrace their role as guides, not just order-takers, in the sales process.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Setting the Scene – Car Shopping and Sales Expectations
- Steph had to unexpectedly buy a new family car after her previous vehicle was totaled—in a rare incident, the detailer who was supposed to be cleaning it crashed it on the way to the shop.
- She and her husband, John, did extensive research and narrowed their options to two minivans: the Honda Odyssey and the Toyota Sienna.
- Both expected, based on years of cultural narrative about car salespeople, to be aggressively "hard sold" during their dealership visits. Instead, their expectations were turned upside down by lackluster, almost passive experiences with salespeople at both dealerships.
Quote
"We literally got into our rental car and we looked at each other and we said, that did not seem like George really A, knew what he was doing or B, like, did he want to make that sale today? Like, he literally could have had our business."
— Steph Crowder (17:14)
2. Salespeople Who Don’t Sell
- At the Honda dealership (with "George"), Steph describes feeling oddly more knowledgeable about the product than the salesperson, who failed to guide, ask consultative questions, or demonstrate expertise. This undermined trust immediately.
- At the Toyota dealership (with "Jim"), the experience was even more hands-off—Jim handed them the keys, said "drive it like you stole it," and didn’t walk them through a single feature or ask about their priorities.
- Both salespeople were pleasant but missed countless opportunities to engage, consult, address real needs, or help them feel confident about a major purchase.
Notable Moments & Quotes
"Let me tell you, as a buyer, that was a very disconcerting experience for me. You don't want to feel like the most educated person... You want to feel that peace of mind of the person that you're talking to, understanding the product forwards, backwards, upside down."
— Steph Crowder (11:49)
"Jim gave John the car keys and said, and I quote, 'drive it like you stole it.'"
— Steph Crowder (21:23)
3. The Buyer’s Dilemma: Wanting to be Sold
- Steph highlights a surprising emotional twist: she genuinely wanted a more assertive and engaged sales experience. She was “ready to say yes,” but the lack of leadership and enthusiasm from sales reps left her in agonizing indecision.
- Without external guidance and reassurance, the default answer—especially on big decisions—becomes “no,” simply for lack of clarity, answers, or encouragement.
Notable Quote
"All selling really is, is helping somebody see the features, the benefits, the transformation... Help me feel good about it. Because this is a 10 year purchase. We're buying the car."
— Steph Crowder (28:22)
4. Sales Lessons for Entrepreneurs
- Many entrepreneurs, especially caring, values-driven ones, worry about being too "pushy" or triggering discomfort by selling assertively.
- Steph reframes the notion of “hard selling” as actually being a service—helping clients move happily towards a solution, just as she and her husband yearned for guidance in their car shopping.
- She urges listeners to recognize their expertise, evangelize their solutions, and accept responsibility for leading prospects—not just leaving them to decide on their own.
Memorable Quotes
"You should be high on your own supply. You should know forwards and backwards what's available for somebody if they come to work with you... And so we do are like, I truly feel my experience this weekend. I don't think that we were done a good service. Right? I think you do your prospects a disservice when you don't sell them well."
— Steph Crowder (34:45)
"No is a default answer... A no is often, I want to want it, but I don't. I want to want it, but I'm not there yet."
— Steph Crowder (37:15)
5. Handling Price Objections & The Placeholder No
- Steph exposes the reality behind many price objections: often, they're just the easiest escape hatch when buyers aren’t convinced, reassured, or guided properly.
- She discusses how, in her case, she and John used “needing more time to get the money together” as an easy letdown, when finances weren’t the true barrier—clarity and confidence were.
Notable Quote
"You wanna know what we told George? We told George that we needed more time to get the money together. It wasn't true. It wasn't true. Okay? If we wanted to get the money together, we could have. But we knew that by saying that, it would end the conversation."
— Steph Crowder (41:12)
Takeaways & Encouragement for Listeners
- Steph encourages entrepreneurs to rethink their fear of "being too pushy." Instead, see sales as loving service—helping ready but wavering clients make empowered, happy decisions.
- She challenges listeners to consider where their reluctance may be costing both their clients and themselves impactful, life-changing decisions.
- Genuine consultative selling is not about manipulation or pressure—it’s about engagement, care, and problem-solving.
Closing Thought
"Where might your people be dying for you to sell to them, Right? Like, maybe they'll be like, oh, my gosh, thank goodness... I'm so happy to, like, have a plan and put this problem to rest. That's what sales is there for."
— Steph Crowder (43:32)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 02:56 – The car totalled by the detailer and launching the car shopping saga
- 10:15 – Expectations vs. reality: preparing for "hard sell" at dealerships
- 11:49 – The disconcerting experience at Honda with "George"
- 17:14 – Reflection: “Did he want to make that sale today?”
- 21:23 – At Toyota, the “drive it like you stole it” moment with “Jim”
- 28:22 – The real purpose of sales; Steph's case for guided selling
- 34:45 – Why not selling well is a disservice to your prospects
- 37:15 – Understanding the “no” as the path of least resistance
- 41:12 – The truth behind price objections, and why “no” isn’t always about cost
- 43:32 – Final encouragement for listeners: being brave and proactive in selling
Episode Tone
Steph’s tone throughout is warm, honest, and slightly exasperated—generous with real-life details, balanced by her endearing humor and empathy for both buyers and sellers. She gives permission for listeners to bring both courage and integrity to their sales conversations, ultimately advocating that caring enough to truly sell can be the most loving thing you do in your business.