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Foreign welcome to the Courage and Clarity podcast. I'm your host, Steph Crowder. I'm a former sales training director who's helped thousands of entrepreneurs earn a living doing something they love over the past 10 years. On your journey, you'll need the courage to be bold, to take risks, and to do what looks crazy on paper. You'll also need the clarity, the brass tacks, simple strategies that actually work. And on this podcast, we deliver both in equal measure. Oh, and by the way, we've got absolutely no time for bs, gross marketing tactics or get rich quick schemes. Just sustainable business strategies for good humans with big dreams. If that sounds like you, you're in the right place. Let's go. Hello, hello, hello my lovely courageous listeners. Welcome to the podcast. I hope you all are, if you're listening in real time stream, starting to really wind things down for the year. Maybe you're listening to me while you're on a road trip to see family, or doing your last minute errands for the holidays, or just going out on a walk to have some moments to yourself. I like to imagine what you all might be doing as you're listening to this, but I do really hope that you're taking some time over this holiday season to reset and be in kind of rest mode and also thinking mode. And I think that ties in really well to today's podcast, which is just going to be me sharing an interesting reframe, an interesting reflection that actually someone helped me see in a conversation that I had. It was actually in a sales call conversation with someone who was considering working with me. And it ties to this pattern that I've also been seeing across the Internet on social media. And it almost in a weird way, this topic for today reminds me a little bit of perhaps a follow on to the conversation that we had recently here on the show about ending Pitchfork marketing and this idea of keeping coaches keeping each other small and women keeping each other small and then in turn us keeping ourselves small. I think about this a lot, about the ways that staying small, especially as a woman, is really encouraged and normalized and even how we sell ourselves on it. So that's what I want to crack into here today. I'm going to start with a little story and then I'm going to, well, there'll be maybe a couple little stories, but I want to share this moment that I had with this person. And if, if this person's listening, then they'll know. They'll know I'm referencing their conversation. So I want to say thank you in advance for this gift of a moment that you gave to me. Because I really. I've been thinking about it ever since. If you all follow me on Instagram, I'm eyestefcrowder. You may have seen recently. Well, we've had a couple of snow days here in Kentucky, and I posted this silly video of my kids and I in our backyard. And it was a sledding video. And in particular, there was one video of me on the sled. My daughter wanted me to get on the sled, and she wanted to take a video. And I was not prepared to be outside. I was actually in my bathrobe with a big coat on over, but you could, like, see the bathrobe hanging out from underneath my coat. I wasn't wearing snow pants. And if you've seen the video, you already know we have this creek in the back of our house. And so when you're sledding down this hill, you have to, like, bail out on the sled and basically, like, roll out in order to. It's either that or you're in the creek. And so my daughter's taking this video, and it's me on the sled. And to be honest with you, we. We have not lived in this house very long. It's the first time I've ever done this. And I got going on that sled faster than I expected. And so I had to roll off my sled into the snow. And you can just see me getting, like, totally soaked in my bathrobe. It was pretty funny. So I posted it. And I had this conversation with this lovely soul earlier this week where she's considering working with me. And she brought up that video, and she said that there was something about that video that made her feel that much more sold on working with me. And when she said that, at first I kind of was like, I brushed it off. Cause I was like, how could that possibly be true? But then she elaborated and said she's a mom as well, and I know many of you listening are parents. And she said she had the thought that if someone like me at my business level, where, you know, this person had been to. And I know many of you came to my you're on the wall workshop, where there's 150 people there in the room, and the chat is just like, right. And I'm answering all these questions. And I know that the perception, if you're watching me, is that I'm working really hard and I'm doing a lot in my business, which is true. Those Things are true. And you all know I pride myself on hard work, right? But this individual told me that the idea that I had figured out how to have a business of my size and level and I'm still in the backyard sledding in my bathrobe, made her be like, this is the leader for me, or this is somebody that I want to follow, or this is somebody that I want to pay attention to. And she shared that her perception and this is, you know, one person sharing this with me. But it made me realize that a lot of people think this and I, I this at one point as well. But her assumption was that if her business grew past a certain point, it was going to get so difficult and honestly, like so all consuming that there would be no like she would necessarily, like, she would have to sacrifice, she would have to give up her family time, she would have to give up her freedom, she would have to give up travel because this business would become so big and so demanding. And we had this really rich discussion about how, you know, when we believe that subconsciously, inadvertently or otherwise, it will really block us from wanting to grow past a certain point. Because who would want that, right? Like, if you think that getting to a certain size is going to make you so busy that it's going to consume you, that you're not going to get to do the things that you actually want to do, it makes perfect sense that your brain would come up with all different kinds of ways to sabotage yourself, right? And I've really been, I was so grateful to this person who shared this with me because I thought, wow, that is so true. And then it hit me and I think I shared this on, on in the conversation with her. So I wanted to share it with all of you that it, if, if you're someone who's like, yeah, I've kind of thought that too, that I don't want to grow my business past a certain point. So this ties into what I've seen going around on the Internet. People saying, especially women saying, I don't want a million dollar business. I don't, I'm not trying to grow past a certain point. I don't want, give me just a medium, smallish side. Like, all I want is enough to do what I want to do in life. And I don't want all that. I see this all the time. And I know that that sentiment seems innocent enough. It's like, and you might even see it as humble or some other word that has a positive connotation where it's like, oh, look at that person. Like, they just want to provide and have enough and call it good. And in that light, you know, I'm all about that. If you know me and you've been to my year on the wall training, you know, we talk about creating sufficiency and learning how to set a minimum viable income goal for yourself so you can stop moving the goalpost on yourself and never feel like you're good enough. So I'm not really talking about that. But this is specifically people saying, like, having this aversion to growing to a certain point, because they're like, I don't want all that. Right. And I absolutely, at a certain point in time, felt the same. I was like, there's no, like, you are not going to catch me with this, like, big team and all of the crap that comes with having a business of a certain size. Like, my brain definitely used to say, like, that wouldn't be worth it. Right? And listen, if that, if you're someone who resonates with that, I'm not here to convince you. Like, you may have your own reasons, and that's. That's perfectly fine. Right. But I just want to explore that a little bit more because I've just been sitting with it and I. All I'm going to do here today is share my own experience. And I hope that it will get you thinking. And maybe looking at this from a new perspective, if you too have been assuming that growing to a certain point is going to be really hard and there's going to be tons of sacrifice, you're not going to see your family and you're going to become a workaholic and et cetera, et cetera. Right? Because that was absolutely my assumption, as I already shared what I see now. And so I. This is the part that I shared with this individual on the call was that shockingly, it's actually been the opposite. She was like, what? And I was like, yeah. I said, the more successful my business has become, the bigger my reach, the more clients I've worked with, the more sophisticated my company and my operation system, the easier it's actually all been on my personal life. She was like, no way. And I said, yeah. And we had this really great conversation. I think there's a lot of reasons about why that's true, and I think at the top of the list is. And something that I didn't know until I was in it is that when you grow your business, I laugh because it's. If, you know, you know, if you've been on this journey you know, it will demand a certain level of growth from you. There's this joke that's like, if you want to grow, like from, like, if you want to do self development work, just start a business. Like, literally it will force you to become your. Like to stretch to your full potential and to rise to the occasion and all of these things, right? So one of the things we talked about in this conversation is how much work I have done. And I think anyone has done who grows their company past a certain point. And by the way, like, I'm, I don't even feel like I'm that big. Like, I, I want, I want to do way more than what I've already done. I want to have a way bigger impact. Like, I feel like I'm just getting started. But even so, I know I've come a really long way. And the, one of the biggest things I've done that people don't realize and that I didn't realize is you learn how to grow your capacity. You learn how to grow your capacity. You learn how to hold more, right? You learn how to sit with more, you learn how to freak out less. I mean, there's still plenty of freaking out, but like, you can do more while you're freaking out, right? You know, I, So I said to her, I understand that seeing me in a zoom room with 150 people answering 45 questions seems really, really difficult, but to me, it's actually a walk in the park. It's just a Tuesday. And she was like, no way. And I said, but the reason that I'm there is because of the work that I've done to grow my capacity, right? And so how do you grow your capacity? It's just like anything else. It's just like any other kind of resistance training or strength training, right? Like, we've talked about this before. If you want to get stronger, you can't continue to pick up the same dumbbells over and over and over again. You just, your, your muscles are acclimated. They're like, yeah, we got this. We could do this bicep curl all day. And this is the issue that I have with this idea of. I don't want to grow my business past a certain point because what will happen is like, that would lit. And, and you know what? There are people out there who might feel this way. And I think this is again, more power to you. But it, to me, it would be like going to the gym. Like choosing to continue to go to the gym every day with no desire to get any Stronger. I can't really imagine that maybe some of you are like, actually, that's exactly what I do. I don't want to get any stronger. Like, I'm perfectly happy where I am. I'm just going to because it's a habit and because it fills me up and it's good for my mental health and keeps me in shape. Right. Maybe you don't want to get any stronger. You've reached. You've kind of reached the top. But I think for a lot of us, that maybe doesn't resonate so much. And so the question really becomes like, why would we, why would we tell ourselves that we don't want to grow past a certain point when you're saying, like, oh, I have no desire for a million dollar business, first of all, that's really like, there's like this shame around, like, how dare you desire a million dollars? And I have really enjoyed plugging myself into conversations and listening to voices of people being like, it's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to make a lot of money for your legacy and for your family and for causes that you care about. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a rich. To be rich. There's nothing wrong with that. Right? And sometimes that does, like, set things off inside of us. And I think those things are really, really interesting to dig into and to take a look at. Because something that's really helped me, and I think I've shared this before, is that the impact that I want to make in this world, the change that I want to see in this world is going to take a lot of money. Like, I want to be able to contribute to the campaigns that I care about and the causes that I care about. And you best believe that I would love to have a whole bunch of money that I could use to back the things that I care about, right? The communities that I want to help, the populations that I want to serve, all of that requires a load of money, Right? And on top of that, it's not even a hundred percent altruism. There's some of that. But also, I want to have an amazing experience here on earth. You know, I do want to fly around the world. I don't want to fly first class. Like, I've really let myself want those things. And maybe you're someone who's afraid to want what you want as well. Maybe you're afraid that it will change you or that you were raised to be humble or that, you know, you were raised to not want too much and to just scratch out A modest life for yourself. If so, like, same. I totally get it. And also, wanting a big, bold, exciting, interesting life is not inherently bad. Like, you know, I've really had to, like, think to myself, there's a whole lot of wealthy people on this planet who are really, really good people. You know, a lot of times as we're growing up, I think we really wealthy people, really rich people are like, synonymous with villain, with a villain, right? With evil, with gluttony, with greed. And I have been really enjoying just challenging that belief. And I think it would be interesting for you to do that as well. If you're someone who's sitting here being like, oh, I feel really squishy and weird about, like, allowing myself to claim any desire around wanting a lot of abundance and a lot of wealth and a lot of just like a big life, you know? Just a big life. And so when we see this idea kind of pedaled around of like, I don't want to be like, I just want to have this kind of business. I don't want to be that big and, you know, sort of glorifying staying small. I just. I want to. I just want to bring our attention to it and ask the question, like, where do we sell ourselves short, right? By limiting ourselves, who does that actually serve? Like, that's the question. Do other people out there do better when you have less money? Like, honest to God, what does you having less money have to do with anybody else thriving, right? Like, what does you living the life of your dreams have to do with anybody else? Like, not. Not being able to do that? It kind of is a take on that expression, like, we don't need to dim anybody else's light in order to shine, right? Why would it be so crazy to imagine that we live in a world where there is absolutely more than enough to go around? And you'll. You might call me an optimist, and that's fine. I. I have been called worse things, and I would even accept the title of delusional. It's cool. I can be delusional. It's great. Love delusion. That's a big, big value of mine, right? Is being delusional. Absolutely. I refus. Status quo, right? If we accept status quo, we're done. What are we doing here? What? The world will never be a better place, right? We'll never be able to see what we're made of. And so I just really want us all to ask that question, is like, first of all, what are. How does our family benefit? How do the people you love most really benefit. It's tempting. It's tempting to be like, well, if I'm less busy, like you might. You might be thinking, if my business is only so big, then I'll be less busy, it won't demand so much of me, and I'll have more time and bandwidth for my family. Okay. That was certainly my assumption, right? What I have really come to realize is that the more successful my business is, the better resource I am. The better my business gets operationally, the better my business runs when even if I can't be there or don't want to be there or I'm choosing to be somewhere else. This year I took off time. I'm closing my company for two weeks right now, coming up right now for the holidays. And I have served more clients and gotten more people, more results, right? And again, thinking about this idea of like this assumption that the busier we get and the bigger our success, the more limited we will be. What the thing that puts. That pushed me to sit down and record this episode is I just got back from not one, but two elementary school class parties on a Friday. So on a Friday, I went to my daughter's and then I went to my son's. And not only did I go, but I at least especially for my daughter, I planned. I planned the party. I got the materials. I was tying twine onto ornaments for the kids to make. I was deciding what the snacks were gonna be like. Heavily involved. Heavily involved. And I know that a lot of people assume that the room parents, and let's be honest, we call them room moms, that those are, you know, people who aren't working, people who have all the time in the world is the assumption. And I just get such a kick out of the fact that the person who is planning these, these kids party is a multiple six figure a year business owner who running a whole damn company, right? Like, it. It was just such a moment of me really, especially after having this conversation about the sledding where I thought to myself, like, it's never been easier. It's actually never been easier for me to get to show up the way that I want to show up for my family, right? Because of everything that I already mentioned, because of the resources I'm able to invest in, because it's not the end of the world if I can't be there. Because if I don't get a task done, I have people that can help me. And like, also if I plan ahead, it's really not that big of a deal. Like we have systems to support me, and. And by the way, I still have a lot more where I could get much, much better. Operationally, I've only scratched the surface, but my life doesn't feel limited at all. My life feels very much my own. And I know for sure that I never pictured that when I thought it. What it would look like to really, really start to treat my business like I am an actual CEO, which is something I've been really working on. And something I want to take with me into 2026 is asking myself, how do I start to see this thing as not just a cute little business, not a solopreneur, not a lifestyle business, not a, you know, digital nomad, like, none of that stuff. But literally, this is a company. This is a company that's run like any other company, and every company has a CEO, and that CEO is me. And that has changed my. It's like altered my brain chemistry to the point where I think I was sharing with my clients that I've even changed what I say when people offline ask me what I do for work. I used to say, I'm a business coach. And I would kind of rush through it. I'd be like, phil so on, comfortable. Now I say, I own a business coaching company. Right? Like, subtle difference, small change. You might think it's semantics. It's not right. I own a business coaching company. People. First of all, people's reaction is different when I used to say I'm a business coach. They were like, oh, okay, Like. Like the. I think the look on people's faces was like, I don't know what that means, but when I say I own a company, I get, oh, oh, right. And I'm not doing it for the reaction other people get, but it's the way that I feel when I say that. It's the way that I feel when I say that. And so much of this has come from me finally letting myself want to get bigger, want a bigger business. What is so wrong with wanting a big business? You don't have to have offices and you don't have to run a tech company in order to. In order to claim this for yourself. Like, you. You get to be the boss. That's the thing. I think maybe that's the thing that we forget is we think this business will become like a runaway train and it'll get so out of control. But actually, it's the opposite. The most chaotic my business has ever been has not been where I am now. It's when I was making half as much as I, as my business makes now, that was real chaos. Right? And so I just wanted to have this conversation in case you are someone, someone like that beautiful soul I spoke with earlier this week who was like, I just. Ass. I just assumed that somebody like you, like there was no way you're going outside on a snow, on a, on a snow day, right. Couldn't be further from the truth. Couldn't be further. Right. I went to England with my best friend this year. I've taken time off with my family. I've, you know, had longer periods of time for holidays and my business has never been so successful. And so if you are someone who has your own reasons for not wanting your business to grow past a certain point, I respect that, I really do. But if you're somebody who has been saying that or been agreeing with that or, or been, you know, at least like, maybe you've just allowed that to kind of permeate your subconscious, I would love for you to, if you're open to it, just challenge it. Right? Just challenge it. Especially because. And this is a little bit of a hot take, but I just don't. You all can correct me if I'm wrong. This is my opinion, what I've seen. I just don't see a lot of men going around saying, I just want my business to go past a certain point. No, no, no, I'm good. Like, I just give me, give me six figures, you know, that would be enough. It has been exclusively women and especially mothers who are like, you know, feel like it's wrong to want a million dollar company friends. It's not wrong. In fact, I think the world would be a much better place with more of us at the table, doing good in the world and making the impact that we want to make. So it's okay. And it's more than okay. It's like the same way, you know, is it okay to want to get stronger in the gym? Right. Is it okay to want to work on any other kind of goal? It's more than okay. It's amazing. And the person that you will become in order to be, to be the person who's capable of not only achieving the goal, but holding the goal, like acclimating to that new level. It'll change your life. I have turned myself inside out. Like, it's undeniable. I've changed in almost every way imaginable and for the better. For the better, right? Not to the point where people are like, I hardly, like, not that I've alienated people. No I'm closer to my people than ever before. Right? My family's getting a better side of me. My spouse is getting a better side of me, my friends. Right? Everything can get better as you grow. And so I hope that, especially as we turn the corner on the year, if you find that you're like, some of you are in a place where you're just hanging on for dear life and maybe you're in survival mode. And I just want to tell you, if you're there, I have been there, and it's okay. I've said this in my year on the wall training. I have had my status quo years where I've said, I'm just gonna try and get by this year. And that is perfectly okay. You do that. Just grab a rope and hang on. Okay? But if you're somebody who's listening to this and you have that little voice inside of you, it could be a quiet voice, it could be screaming at you that's like, girl, it's time to go. Like, let's go. I want you to listen. I want you to at least hear that voice out. Your life is not going to be taken over by this business that you can't control. It'll change your life to let yourself become big. And I hope you give yourself the chance to experience it. If you liked this episode, I would love to know. You can just DM me on Instagram. I'm heystephcrowder. I'm the same on threads. And you can also reply to any emails that you might get from me if you're on my email list. I can't wait to talk to you next week, my friends. And until then, I'm wishing you the courage and the clarity to go after what you love.