A (3:30)

Right.

B (3:32)

So, yeah, I would say I have kind of a. I have had a love hate relationship with goals. And so this idea of tackling really big goals or setting them to begin with is something that's complicated for me. And I said to Steph, you know what? I think for me, a lot of this conversation is going to be sharing with you why I can't even set the goal, and then digging more into that. But let's. For the get paid podcast listeners who maybe don't know, Stephen, what is your big goal, your quote, impossible goal that you have set? And then also, you know, share a little bit about why are you calling it an impossible goal?

A (4:14)

Right. Yes. Well, I think it might be helpful to start with the fact that Claire and I are both follow a mentor of ours, Brooke Castillo, who talks a lot about this. This idea of an impossible goal is something that we learned from Brooke. Right. And she's been talking a lot about this in her program called the Weekly, where we listen to. Listen back to these live sessions that she's been doing where she's talking about impossible goals, which sort of part of how we got here in the first place. For me, the. The idea, just real quickly, the idea is picking a goal. I mean, it's kind of what it sounds like, right? Picking a goal, picking a target that honestly feels impossible to you, that when you think about it, you're like, you basically know you're doing it right. If you're like, I have no idea how, how I would do that. The how is very unclear. And that is actually the point of it.

B (5:03)

And it's so uncomfortable.

A (5:04)

It's so uncomfortable. And I think it's especially uncomfortable because most of us have been taught that that is actually completely opposite of goal setting. You hear about smart goals, right? Make it specific, make it measurable, make it attainable, or, I guess, actionable. It's supposed to make sense. And there is a whole school of thought that says, like, you know, your goal should only be this much more than what you've done previously, or, like, make it realistic. I think that's the R, isn't it? Make it realistic. That's the R and smart goals. And I'm not here to say that that stuff doesn't work. I think that there's a lot of merit in that. But it has been really interesting and inviting and honestly, expansive to explore a totally different way to have a goal. And I want to talk about the reasons why I think it's. It's so beneficial when you don't know how. Like you said, it's incredibly uncomfortable, but it makes you ask questions of yourself that you would not normally ask. So I'll give you an example I've been sharing with listeners of the Courage and Clarity podcast that my goal for the year is. I would like to make. I would like my company to make a million dollars in 12 months. That is an impossible goal for me. It feels very impossible. I have said this on my podcast that every time I say it out loud, I just want to take it back immediately. I don't want anybody to hear me saying it. And yet I keep saying it. And I noticed that when I ask myself, okay, like, how are we going to do that? The first answer is, or there's a lot of answers that come up. They're like, I don't know, probably won't work. How is that going to happen? That's. That's. That's crazy. Like, it doesn't. It does not compute in my brain.

B (6:44)

And does your brain say, okay, so that shouldn't be your goal? Because that is what mine does.

A (6:49)

I think the only reason. Yeah, that's the initial reaction. But what really helps me is to think, oh, the new thought for me is like, that means I'm doing it right? Because if it. If it doesn't feel like that, it's not big enough. And let me give you an example of what I mean, if it's me, even just for the past month, the goal has been, I'm going to do a million in 12 months, right? I have had to be like, well, what are all of the things I would do and try if that were my goal? And one of the things I came up with, I can't even remember if I told you this is I thought I was on a walk the other day and I was like, well, I guess I have to get on 100 podcasts. Oh, I think I need to get on 100 podcasts. By the way, anybody listening to this, if you want me to come on your podcast, the answer's gonna be yes, because I gotta get on a hundred of them. Right. And I thought to myself, number one, that's so smart. And number two, I would never do that if I were not trying to go after an impossible goal. There's no way. Why would I ever wanna get on a hundred podcasts. That sounds like so much work. I don't know how I'm gonna have the time. I have so much going on, et cetera.

B (7:48)

Are there a hundred podcasts that are like a good fit for you?

A (7:51)

Maybe not.

B (7:52)

Because that's sort of the thing. We can look at goals like, oh, I want to, I want to get 10,000 more followers. But like our. Is that because of something that goes viral that has nothing to do with your offer? Things like that, you know?

A (8:04)

Right. But I see, that's exactly. It is. I think when you are going after an impossible goal, you're going to have to try a lot of off the wall stuff. And to what you just said, I think it's important to not pick it apart as you go.

B (8:20)

Absolutely.

A (8:21)

And because then you'll just kind of shut yourself down and be like, oh, well, that wouldn't be worth doing. Right. When we think about the actions that we have to take to try to become the person who achieves that goal, I think that's where the real, the real value is. So to your point, actually is a great point of like I said, I was going to go to the gym three days a week and I ended up averaging 1.7.

B (8:44)

I don't even know if that's really.

A (8:45)

Real, but let's just use it as an example.

B (8:47)

Yeah.

A (8:48)

When I think about it, I never.

B (8:49)

Went more than twice, let's say that.

A (8:50)

Okay. But, but even that, right. It's better than zero. And so for me, when I think to myself, if I go for a million and I hit 750, I'm gonna be thrilled. I've never done that before. I'm not gonna be like, oh man, I only did 900. I said it would be a million. I will be amazed. So I think it's all like into the point of you in the gym is like, yeah, you, you did two on average, but it wasn't zero. You didn't get to three, but you still.

B (9:14)

That's true.

A (9:14)

Pushed yourself to a different level.

B (9:15)

It used to be really zero.

A (9:17)

Right? Exactly. Exactly. And for me, somebody who's repeated my current revenue level a couple years in a row now, what is that? Roughly 400k.

B (9:27)

Okay.

A (9:27)

Yeah. So obviously it seems insane to 2 point try to 2.5 ish x my business. Like, there's a lot of really smart people who would be like, hey, that's not how we set a goal. Yeah, yeah, but it's already kind of challenging me to think, who is the person, like, if I want to become that business owner who has that level of success, what kind of decisions does she make? How does she show up on a daily basis? And then I think the idea is not to beat yourself up when you aren't that, but to just see it as like, what's the decision I want to make today to try to embody that. What do you think? What. What comes up for you?

B (10:07)

No, this whole time I'm listening to you thinking, why can't I claim that? Why can't. Why is it so hard for me to claim it? Like, because I would like. I would like to make a million in a year for sure. You know, I remember Mariah Kaz once saying, like, set the high goal and go after it just to see the person who you become in the process.

A (10:32)

Exactly.

B (10:33)

Not so much actually achieving the goal.

A (10:35)

Yeah, yeah.

B (10:37)

And then I brought this up on a coaching call the other day with DL, our coach. And I said, like, actually, what I said to her was based on something that you had gotten from Brig Johnson, which was, you know, like, do you want it? What was it? It was about, oh, here's the context.

A (10:56)

Yeah. It was about the alternative should make you want to vomit that the alternative.

B (11:03)

To the goal should make you want to.

A (11:05)

Not getting it. Not getting it. And for me, that means, like, being in the reality where I don't see this through. And to be clear, it's. And I've been talking to some other friends about this as well, who have a similar goal. To me, it's not even about the money. Like, I feel the re. The need to say that. I mean, sure, like, having more resources is great for so many different reasons, but it's not even really to your point. It's not about, like, I need that much money. It's about the person I would become in the process. And also something that I spoke with, with Greg about is when she. When she gave me that idea is, like, if my company is that successful, you know, I'm 38 years old right now. I'm thinking about my life in my 50s and what I want to be able to do in my 50s, and when my kids are grown, I want to be able to pick up and go anywhere. I want to be able to take them places. I want to be able to be like, hey, where are we going? I'll meet you there. Right. Like, I want to be able to take girlfriends on trips with me and kind of live this. Like, I keep picturing the lifestyle I want in my 50s, and I'm working for that right now in my late 30s. And so the idea of, like, not being able to have those options in my 50s does make me feel kind of sick. It makes me feel like, what you're saying I'm gonna have to be like, oh, sorry, honey, you can't go to that college you want to go to. Like, oh, you got in to Notre Dame, where I went to college, where I'd love to see my kids go. Sorry, we can't afford it. Like that. That, like, that's something that I reject. Right. Another thing is we have been thinking a lot about, like, causes that we care about in the world. Can't. Funding candidates that we want to see in positions of power. You're telling me I'm not going to be able to give to that in a meaningful way? Like, I crave deeply to be able to create change. And it makes me feel sick to my stomach that I won't become the person who has the resources to help advance goodness in the world. Does that answer your question?

B (13:00)

Yeah, yeah. No, I was just thinking about, like, what was there. There is a goal in my personal life that I don't want to share. That the idea of not reaching, it does make me want to vomit. And so I said that to my coach. I said, hey, there's this other goal, and I, like, I'm doing everything I can for it.

A (13:19)

Yeah.

B (13:19)

Everything humanly possible. And when there was a week where I couldn't work towards that goal at all, I was devastated. But how come I don't feel that about a million dollars? And she was like, well, because once you get to, like, about 500k, you have all the resources that you need.

A (13:39)

Yeah. I mean, like, life's good.

B (13:40)

Life is really good. Yeah.

A (13:42)

And.

B (13:43)

But what for her, it was like, she said the. The drive to get to a million is about shutting down some thoughts. This is paraphrased, but it. That really made sense to me.

A (13:57)

Right.

B (13:58)

Because.

A (13:58)

Or letting go of parts of yourself.

B (14:00)

Letting go of parts of yourself.

A (14:01)

Yeah.

B (14:01)

I am so fucking tired of some of these thoughts. I have about myself, some just negative thoughts that I have been working on and working on and working on. And you know, the things go up and down in terms of like how I'm feeling about myself and my work, but I'm so tired of it.

A (14:20)

Right, right.

B (14:21)

That literally doing what I have to to change that thought is going to take me to a million. Yeah. Showing up the way I have not shown up in years or maybe ever.

A (14:33)

Yeah.

B (14:33)

Is what's going to take me there. So that is, you know, what I have to keep reminding myself. Like one of the reasons I don't want to claim a million dollar goal has to do with even just like conversations with my husband. He runs a software agency. They have done multiple millions. And in his world, you make goals, you make financial goals around like you know, 20%. You use averages.

A (15:00)

Yeah.

B (15:00)

Excuse me, Percentages. Not averages. Percentages instead of a number. So for him it's going, you know, like, I forget what it is. 600k more. That's not even a million more, you know, like. But me going from last year, I'm. I will be releasing a year on review podcast episode in February, which is my trend. But last year I did less. I did less than the year before and probably even the year before that. And so for me to go like, okay, well I'm going to go to a million, that's like 3Xing what I did last year.

A (15:37)

Yeah.

B (15:37)

3X is quote unquote ridiculous in some circles. And, and yet so like I find that that, and that doesn't usually, doesn't usually affect me. Like this one is in particular. So there must be that deeper. You can't get there, you won't do it. Something in there that really means it. Get the fuck out of my head.

A (16:03)

What, what is the value? Like, what is the value of having a ridiculous goal? Like, what if I would love to explore that is like, what is the benefit of being ridiculous with it?

B (16:15)

That's a great question. What is the benefit of being ridiculous? Well, it is about who you're going to become. And even if I think about it, going to the gym three times a week when I was going like point two times a month was pretty ridiculous. But then look what I did get to.

A (16:35)

That's right.

B (16:36)

I didn't accomplish nearly what I wanted to in that time about like how much weight I can now lift or, or body composition, but it is so much better. So like just that.

A (16:48)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I don't know that we catapult. Like that's actually a really interesting example. So if you were going like 0.2 times per week and you decided to just raise it by 20%, right. Like, what would that be? Math?

B (17:03)

Not much. 0.75 maybe going twice in a month.

A (17:07)

Right. And so by having a more ridiculous goal, yeah, you didn't hit it, but you actually made more progress in the end.

B (17:14)

And honestly, I spent a lot of money too. If I had, if I had said, well, no, like, just start with once a week, it would have been cheaper. But that wasn't. It's like that was not. Yeah, it wasn't enough of a stretch. I wanted to stretch myself because I wanted some fucking results.

A (17:31)

You know, I find myself thinking about my clients. Know, I'm always thinking about. Well, I think about sports a lot and I think about performance because I, you know, I've realized I have to start calling myself an athlete. I really am an athlete, you know, as far as how I work out and how I challenge myself. So I really love learning from athletes, from professional athletes. I'll never be professional, but when I think about Simone Biles, when I think about the best of the best, Simone Biles, Michael Jordan, I don't think that they were in their, in their youth being like, I think I would just like to be 20% better. I think Simone Biles was like, I'm going to the Olympics. And at a certain point, going to the Olympics, being in the NBA, being the greatest of all time. I can only imagine, you can see the interviews of them. They talk about it. People thought they were ridiculous. People thought it was impossible. And so it's like, if you want to do something that no one has ever done, at least like in your bloodline, for example, like, I don't have anybody that I'm aware of in my family that's made a million dollars in a year with a business. Right. If you want to do something that hasn't been done before, I don't think stair stepping your way mentally to it is going to be the way that you ultimately get there.

B (18:44)

Okay, let's. No, that's a really great point. I just want to say. Yeah, let's talk a little bit about, you know, you don't know how you're going to get there. You don't have to believe to believe.

A (18:55)

Say more about that.

B (18:56)

No, you said that this morning. You don't have to believe to believe. And I think you and I, in our conversations, when, you know, we're in launches or things like that, and I'm always like, the belief isn't There. This is gonna fail.

A (19:08)

Right, right, right.

B (19:09)

You're like, we've heard this from our coach, too. Yes, you can. You can sell without belief.

A (19:14)

Yes, yes.

B (19:17)

But then still in my head, I'm like, but it's all about the thoughts, Claire.

A (19:21)

Right?

B (19:21)

Your thoughts create results.

A (19:23)

Right?

B (19:23)

So my thoughts are shitty. What am I gonna do? But you know what? Has you said that, like, you know, something that has come up for you, especially in January. Right? We're. We're the. We're the very beginning of February now. So maybe that was a January thing that you had to go through of. But how. But how. But how.

A (19:41)

Yes, totally.

B (19:43)

And you know that that's going to come up again.

A (19:45)

Oh, probably every day. Probably every day. And I'm really glad we're talking about this, because I know thinking about my clients, that is going to be. That's their number one question as well. They're like, but how would I do that? But how? Like, I can't see how that's possible. And I think you are right. The month of January for me has been embracing about embracing that I'm not going to be able to think my way there. I keep trying to think. Like, if I just keep thinking about it, then maybe I can discover a path that makes sense in my brain. And I spent 30 days thinking about it, and it doesn't make any more sense. It doesn't make any more sense how I'm going to triple my client roster, Right. How I'm going to scale my program with and have it be not even as amazing as it is now for my clients, but even better, how I'm going to do that, how I'm going to figure out how to attract people on the level that I want to. How I'm going to figure out scale. I don't know. Like, I am standing here walking in front of you all right now, telling you that I don't know. And. Well, that's something that we've been working on this weekend as well, is Claire and I have been. We had our laptops out yesterday. Our Claire's got her hat on. I have my coat on, and we're cold. And Raleigh, they can't seem to heat their establishments. And we're on our laptops like each of us is planning something in our upcoming launches that we have not done before. We are trying new and different things, even though the stuff that we did before worked. Yes, Worked well.

B (21:08)

Yes, worked well. But, I mean, I don't know about you, but I can say, like, I have not had a Thing where I blew past my goal because something worked unbelievably well. I have been doing the same thing, what, since 2022 or less. And those things have worked. And I've been really grateful for that because seeing, you know, things have been hard for a lot of business owners. I'm not saying, like, like last year, I've already said, you know, my. My year was down. That had a lot to do with coming back from attorney leave. But. Yeah. So doing something new, we kind of. We were talking before these decisions about, like, or should I just stick to. You were really like, should I stick to what I know, work?

A (21:54)

Yes, yes.

B (21:55)

For my first launch of the year. And why did you ultimately decide not to do that?

A (22:01)

Well, it was a combination of, you know, talking with you and talking to others of our mentors, where I realized to. To get different results, I'm going to have to do different things. And I've also heard other colleagues of ours who have reached this milestone. What they all seem to talk about, which is very uncomfortable for me, is failing your way towards the goal. It's flopping our way there. Right. Like, they're gonna. I've had to get on board with the fact that I'm gonna try things this year and be like, that wasn't it? And they might be public embarrassments. They might be. You know, one thing I talked about last year was this idea. I think I got this concept from our friend Jeresha Hawk, which was not being afraid to be seen trying. Right. Like, just, like, get over the fact that you are going to look like you're trying to.

B (22:55)

Yeah.

A (22:55)

People are going to be like, look at her. She's really trying hard. Yeah, Yeah, I really am. Right. There is a little bit of embarrassment that comes with that. So I think that's how I arrived here, is just being like, yeah, if I want to get really different results, I'm going to have to try probably a lot of really different things.

B (23:12)

Yeah, that same. Same for my launch. You know, when I knew that in the last launch I had a. For gpm, I had, like, a lead generation problem. I really had scooped up all the jelly beans, as one of my metaphors. All the jelly beans in my audience bin.

A (23:29)

Right. Yeah.

B (23:31)

So instead of just running ads to the, like, next webinar, I decided to do something quite different and actually going back to, like, workshop magic days of a paid live workshop.

A (23:45)

Yeah.

B (23:46)

But with a twist.

A (23:47)

Right.

B (23:47)

And it definitely involves ads. And that's really scary, to be honest, because as somebody who teaches ads, if I have an ad campaign completely flop that makes me feel like, you know, it really hurts. It really adds to my imposter syndrome.

A (24:05)

Right.

B (24:05)

That is already just, like, always hanging out a little bit, like, hello down there. Could you go away, please? No. All right. But. So, yeah, that's. I'm. I'm excited about that. And scared. Yeah. Shitless.

A (24:19)

Yeah. You know, as we're talking, I'm realizing I'd like to. And I would like to go back to helping you or digging deeper into, like, the why not claim it that we were talking about. But I just want to share something that's even coming up for me on this episode, in this conversation that might help other people, too, is, like, I'm just noticing. I'm afraid. I'm afraid to want this goal, too. And one of the reasons I'm afraid to want it is, of course, the obvious one. If I. If I have to tell all of you all that didn't happen. It didn't happen.

B (24:48)

Mm.

A (24:49)

But I think actually deeper than that is. And I wonder. I wanna ask you if you think this has anything to do with your reluctance to claim a similar goal. I'm a little scared of what you all think that I want this. Oh, yeah, right. Like, what people.

B (25:02)

That's so interesting.

A (25:02)

What people are gonna say or what are. Do any of you think that, wow, she just wants to make a million dollars? Or, like, yeah, the little bit of the. Who does she think she is of it all? And let me ask you something. Yeah.

B (25:15)

When we were at this party celebrating Janae's million dollar year, which she hit in August, right? January. August, yeah. Did you feel that way at all?

A (25:27)

Not even a little. Like. And, you know, I have to say, I want to acknowledge that, too. I've already gotten messages from clients and listeners being like, I can't wait to see you hit it. Like, they're here for it. And I think the people who matter will be. But it's hard. Like, one of the other things we've talked about is, like, getting comfortable that with the idea that you will be misunderstood. So you talked about things that we have to go through, things that you want to set down, thoughts about yourself that you don't want to carry around anymore. Mine is the fear that I have of people talking about me like, you know, I'm going to have to go through that on my way to a million. I know that there's going to be, like, you. This is. Sorry, guys. This is true for all of us. You're going to repel people and there's going to be people who don't get it, and there's going to be people more than not getting it who might be completely opposed to how you go.

B (26:17)

About things because you're bolder, you're more controversial. Like, you're saying, honestly, I think it.

A (26:22)

Triggers something in other people where it's like, I'm claiming something really scary and big, and that's a very hard thing to do. And maybe for folks who like, that can be a sensitive thing, a triggering thing where it's like, you don't want to hear about that.

B (26:38)

Right.

A (26:38)

So I think that's a big part of it for me is like, it's scary to say it out loud because it's like, what if people don't get it?

B (26:45)

Yep.

A (26:46)

And one of the big things I've been getting coached on by our friends here this weekend is like, hey, guess what? There's already, like, five people in your audience who hate you right now.

B (26:52)

Yeah. Yep. They are hate following and hate listening.

A (26:56)

And it does help to think, like, it's already happening.

B (26:59)

Yeah. Like, and you are fine.

A (27:00)

And I'm fine. I've been here for 10 years and counting. Right. Like 11 years, whatever it is. So I don't know. I'm curious. Like, do you want to say more or unpack more about your feelings about claiming that goal?

B (27:13)

You know, I don't. I don't think it has to do with what people think, what my husband will think. Like, he'll be fucking thrilled for you.

A (27:24)

To go after it.

B (27:25)

Yeah. I am in a new. I am in a new.

A (27:28)

Just.

B (27:28)

What do you call it? Like, I'm in a new group of entrepreneurs that's really different from anything else I've been in.

A (27:35)

In person. Right. Person.

B (27:36)

Yeah. Which is really cool. I'm looking forward to sharing more about that, you know, once I've had more time.

A (27:41)

Yeah.

B (27:42)

There. But, yeah, these. The feeling I get is that they think I have no idea. I literally haven't even talked to this. Talked to this group about this topic. But my feeling is that they're more like my husband, the way he thinks about growing in these incremental, you know, steady. Great.

A (28:05)

Yeah.

B (28:06)

Slow and steady, kind of. And I'm afraid of what they'll say. I'm afraid of being laughed at a little. But. But. So it's not like, judgment. It's more like, oh, you silly little Facebook and Instagram ads expert. Like, yeah, but it's because they have. Some of them have passed.

A (28:27)

Right.

B (28:27)

That.

A (28:27)

And.

B (28:28)

And maybe, in fact, somebody on like the bigger call that I was on, which is a bigger group, somebody said they were presenting with. They were presenting a one page thing. And one of the boxes to fill in was your, what is it? Bhag?

A (28:44)

Big Hairy on Facebook.

B (28:45)

And he said, I personally am not a fan of Bhags. And I'm just like, well, then why the fuck is it on your paper? But okay, but. So I don't know. Even just seeing that made me go, okay, wait there. Yeah, Bhak, this is. There are plenty of people who like Big just because. What's his name?

A (29:02)

Right.

B (29:03)

He's not a fan. But. But yeah. You know what I wanted to make sure we got to, though, is something that you helped me see yesterday, which was I. I was talking about this other goal of mine to be able to lift weights or, you know, a lot heavier. And I pretty much told you that it's never going to happen for me because I am a person who gets injured. And last week I was in bed because of a back injury brought on by fucking lifting weights. When I was a ballerina for 10 years, from five to 15, I was constantly injured. I was a great dancer and constantly injured. So my thought was, it's not like I'm doing this wrong, but what's the deal? It's just who I. It's just my body. And you brought up all of these things that made me realize, Claire, you haven't been problem solving at all around this. You've been wallowing, you've been sorry for yourself. But there are actually like 17 things that you haven't tried yet. Yeah, the shoes.

A (30:15)

Yeah.

B (30:17)

Supplements. What else? What else did you put on?

A (30:20)

We talked about mind muscle connection.

B (30:21)

Mind muscle connection when you're lifting, to.

A (30:24)

Me, the big shift. I'm so glad you brought this up because I just think it's so relevant for people pursuing any goal. I think the. What I noticed you could correct me if I'm wrong. A big shift we were able to make there is first of all, identifying, having the thought I am a person who gets injured a lot.

B (30:38)

Not helpful.

A (30:40)

Right. But what we were able to identify is like, maybe that has been true so far, but it doesn't have to continue being true. And I think that too.

B (30:50)

And I was real mad when you said that.

A (30:51)

You were.

B (30:52)

Because you didn't seem mad. No, I know I didn't, but I was just like, ugh. Because I didn't see any of the other things yet that I could try. I thought you were just like. Change your thoughts.

A (31:03)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

B (31:04)

It's gonna be. You're not gonna get injured again. I was like, just believe you won't get injured again. Exactly. And that was really good. It's just hard when that seems to be the answer.

A (31:15)

That's really good. Because if we Business too, I want to make it really clear. I'm not going to just be over here believing my way to a million. I want to make sure that really comes across that, like, that kind of touches back to what we talked about of, like, I'm going to have to try a hundred things. You are going to need to try a hundred things to be in less pain. But I think what I personally have found to be really helpful about that is it takes away the powerlessness.

B (31:38)

Yeah.

A (31:39)

When we think, like, I'm just a person who gets injured and, like, there's nothing I can do about that. You. That's it. You could just go home, you're done, you're never going to achieve the goal. Versus, like, what if there are 17 things that I haven't tried yet? I feel like immediately something starts to shift. You're like, oh, okay, well, I could try that. And yeah, it might not work, but at least there are things to try.

B (31:59)

Yeah, no, I. That's so important. I know that my listeners. I'm literally thinking of specific clients, plural, who after something that they tried, doesn't work. Their first thought is, I'm. It's never going to work.

A (32:16)

Totally. Absolutely.

B (32:18)

It's ne. I'm never going to be. And I just. I have this one client who will be in that she will get coached. And two weeks later, she is trying something so dramatically new, but it is not her. Her mo. Her typical, like, okay, I'm just gonna go and go and go. Like, yeah, she has to feel those feelings of, you know, maybe not despair, but, like, true disappointment when she did do something different from her usual. And that still didn't get her the results that she wanted. So, I mean, I think. I think that's so important. It's just like, where I was after that back injury and I couldn't get out of it. I couldn't get out of it. I was in physical pain. I couldn't get out of bed. But, like, literally a week later, it's a little bit like my, you know, waited. Wait an hour, wait a day, wait a week.

A (33:09)

Oh, yes.

B (33:09)

I love something like that. You know, when you're feeling so triggered by something or so sad. Extremely strong emotion.

A (33:16)

Yeah.

B (33:17)

But I couldn't. It was. That was. That was tough. So it's Normal. It's normal to feel that way. But, like, the kind of if. If I was just like, okay, I'm no longer gonna work with my trainer because I. She let me get injured, which is not her, you know.

A (33:31)

Right.

B (33:34)

So, okay, I'm giving up. That's exactly what not to do. And what I did, actually, in 2023, the only time I've said publicly I want to make a million in a year was right after we went to Life Coach Live and, like, drank that Kool Aid.

A (33:50)

Yeah.

B (33:50)

From giant. Giant barrels. And. And I did, like, two webinars, and I didn't make as many sales, nearly as many as I thought. And I gave up.

A (34:01)

Right.

B (34:02)

Gave up.

A (34:04)

Yeah. Yeah. And I know I'm going to want to give up so many times this year. I've already. The other thing I didn't share is that my goal, like, what I've been talking about on my podcast, is not only am I trying to make a million in 12 months, but I'm trying to do it by making my business more boring.

B (34:21)

Not just business, honey.

A (34:22)

Yeah. Life. Life as well. More boring life. And I have already in the month of January. I mean, I should make a list of all of the things I either thought about doing or actually did that I was like, oh, my God, that is not keeping it boring, like, at all. The subtle ways that we create chaos in our own lives as an avoidance mechanism. The times where I was like, well, maybe I'll abandon this plan that I already committed to and try and do something else. And I think the value of, like, the great news is I'm seeing it now. Like, I was able to spot that and be like, okay. I think that's the first step is noticing the ways that we will sabotage ourselves along the way with our thoughts, with whatever, and just being like, oh, right, like, we're not doing that.

B (35:13)

Yeah. And I'm gonna hold you to that.

A (35:16)

I know. You already are.

B (35:18)

I already am. And you get annoyed sometimes. And that's okay.

A (35:21)

That's okay. So I don't know. What else do we want to say about our impossible goals? Anything else we want to wrap up with? How are you? Is it. How are you feeling now about your own impossible goals?

B (35:36)

My own impossible. Okay, well, I'm still over here. Like, I can't claim a million, so I need to work on that.

A (35:42)

Okay.

B (35:42)

Because I do want to get rid of these fucking thoughts. There's something else. There's something else. Blocking. And I feel really good just knowing that I have something I need to figure Out. You know, what we heard last night at that dinner, you know, people did speeches and stuff about Janae was Janae realized or she, you know, came to accept that there was no problem she couldn't solve. Every obstacle.

A (36:12)

Yeah.

B (36:12)

For every even, you know, mindset hurdle or failed launch or, you know, generation rate or, you know, it's a. It's. It's a problem that has a solution. And so here I. Here I am going. I have this block about claiming that, and it. That is just a problem with a solution. I can get there.

A (36:34)

I love that.

B (36:35)

Yeah. I think. I think for me, I mean, even just, like, feeling it right now is still that deep, deep doubt about reaching it. And. And, like, I don't want a public failure.

A (36:46)

Well, can I just share that? What you just brought up, you talked about the deep doubt of reaching it that makes you not want to claim it. You know, my first thought was, even though I keep saying I actually, like, my prevailing thought is, I'm not going to make it.

B (37:01)

Really?

A (37:01)

No, I don't like, yet.

B (37:03)

It's still.

A (37:03)

I'm just like, we're going to try anyway.

B (37:05)

Yeah.

A (37:05)

Like, it actually feels like the most likely scenario is I won't. That is what feels the. Yeah. It just feels like. But. But you know what? Why don't we go for it anyway? And I. I think I'm just choosing to not fight that fight with my brain because I don't think I can win it if my brain's like, yeah, but it's. But, Steph, like, it's impossible. I don't even. I'm like, you're right. You're right. Like, it is. But why don't we just. It goes. It goes back to, you don't have to believe in order to believe. Like, I'm just gonna not believe all the way there.

B (37:38)

People need the context of that, which is, like, you don't have to believe to sell. We already mentioned it. Right.

A (37:43)

But, like, not even just sell. But. Yes, but, like, you don't have. In this case.

B (37:47)

No, I. But I think it's important for our clients especially to hear, like, when they're in. When they're not in belief, they can still sell. Because I have been there where I'm like, well, I'm not in belief and I don't sell. I give up so fast.

A (37:58)

Yeah.

B (37:59)

So I just wanted to put that in there real quick, but go on.

A (38:06)

Yeah. Well, and my point is, it applies to everything where it's like, you don't have to believe that your launch is going to succeed in order for it to actually happen. Because if you keep going, it can succeed to your point. For me, I don't have to believe that a million in a year is possible for me in order for me to keep taking the actions. Like someone who believes. Yeah, right. Like, it's all about saying back to my brain, like, okay, well, like, oh, my God, this happened in my most recent launch, which was my most successful yet. I'd be like, I don't believe it's going to happen. I don't believe I'm going to get more people. And you know what I would say back? I would say, but what if we did? Let's pretend we believed. I think I'm going to have to pretend believe my way through this year. When my brain says, I don't think you're going to get there, girl, I don't think you can do it, I'll go, okay, well, let's cosplay.

B (38:53)

As the.

A (38:54)

As the person who is. What would she do? I don't know. She'd probably go on 100 podcasts. Like, that's kind of how I got there, right? So it's like, yeah, you don't have to believe all the time in order to believe, but you can say, well, that has been very helpful to me. It's like, well, let's just pretend we believed. And you can kind of actually, to your point of, like, thinking of it in a launch, you know how you're definitely not going to succeed is if you pack it in. If you pack it up and say, yeah, we're not going to get there. So we're just going to quiet quit or quit altogether. Like, then you're definitely not going to get there, right? So you might. You might get. That's guaranteed. So you might as well just say to yourself, well, yeah, you know what? You're. Hey, brain, you're probably right. This is impossible. Like, kind of insane. But if we were going to. If we were going to try, what would we do next?

B (39:39)

I think where. Where I was going before with, you know, shit Brooke talks about, that could just be a hashtag is, you know, falling in love with the process.

A (39:48)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

B (39:51)

And I think for. For me, you know, one of the main. One of the main things that I realized I needed to change in the business so that I could test more things, honestly try out different things in marketing was have more help in delivery of my program because my go to Procrastination is just answering client questions. So, like, that is just like one concrete Thing that I did when I realized, okay, if I want to grow at all, whatever the goal is, this has got to change. And that was hard. And it's still a process.

A (40:30)

Yeah.

B (40:31)

But like, just. And I don't love the idea of hiring or training or managing totally. But I'm on board with it. Like, I'm on board with the hard things. And this is also, it's. This has been coming up for both of us with our clients in the past year is people still seem to want that 2020, 2021 success.

A (40:55)

Yeah.

B (40:56)

I heard somebody say that those were the participation trophy years in business. Now, now we're in the achievement, the merit.

A (41:07)

Sure.

B (41:07)

Trophies. Yeah. Like, you make that money because you are a company that does incredible things.

A (41:13)

And what an honor that is. Like.

B (41:15)

Yes.

A (41:16)

I mean, it's going to be maybe. Sure, we could argue it'll be harder, but it's going to feel like that much. The success was that much sweeter, you know, when, you know, like, oh, everybody gets a trophy. Okay, well, sure, I got my trophy and that's fine. But like, knowing that you made it because you do amazing work is a totally different feeling. Right. And I think that's part of like going back to the point of falling in love with the process. When you hear about people like the hero's journey, any kind of journey, it's like, yeah, getting to the milestone is awesome. But like, people I enjoy, I enjoy. This thought about my road to a million is like, I think I'm going to look back on my process of getting there and being like, that was a time of my life. Figuring that out was like, that was, that was like. I look back at my time at Groupon when I was at that company and it was a really hard times, like, it was very demanding job. I look back and I'm like, those are the good old days. So sometimes I think that's part of like, you're in the process and it feels really hard. But there's something to be enjoyed in that as well.

B (42:19)

So to kind of wrap things up, I wanted to ask you, you and I both know that one of the ways to, you know, hit impossible goals is to think like and feel like the person who has already hit those goals.

A (42:36)

Yeah.

B (42:37)

So are there any thoughts that you've created that are really like, okay, this is million dollar stuff. I did.

A (42:44)

Wow. What a good question. I'm trying to think of something that we haven't already covered because I think we've said so. Like, I think the one that you said is Really a heavy hitter, which is like the million dollar CEO version of myself. Can figure out any problem, like just the. The troubleshooting of it all. Something that really helps me is my clients know I try to. I try and try to do some journaling, some self coaching.

B (43:17)

More.

A (43:17)

More days than that. I'd like to do it every day. I'm working on it. One of my favorite questions to ask. There's two. One is how does that version of me show up today? Right. Like what? Like, because all we can really control is today and the choices that we make today. So if I were to kind of tap into the woman that I'm trying to become, who has the success at that level, how do I want to operate today? How do I want to be, like, working? How do I want to engage with my clients? How do I want to show up for them? How do I want to be on my platforms? And again, I almost see it as like a cosplay, like putting on the cape. Yeah, putting on the million dollar cape. Right. And almost fate. Not fake it till you make it, but maybe a little bit. Right. So that's one. And then the second one is also just to kind of help me clear the crap that comes up is asking myself, what is blocking me today? Again, bringing it to today. What is getting in my way today from being able to either do the actions that I want to be able, like, show up the way that I want to be able to show up in the way that I want to be able to show up, or like, what is blocking me from believing today? And maybe when I identify that, like, sometimes I just need to process an emotion, but maybe I need to. Maybe I need to raise my hand for some help. Maybe I need to talk to Claire, you know, talk to another friend or talk to one of our coaches, but when there's. It's not just a matter of being like, how do I show up as her? But also, like, what is blocking me? Sometimes it's a process thing. Like, to your point, hey, I'm not doing a good enough job getting help in the business. I need to, you know, I don't think this version of me manages her time in this way. I need to solve that problem. So I don't know. Those are kind of some of the things I'm thinking about on a daily basis. I think I see it as a daily aligning and realigning myself with, like, how I picture her. Some sense.

B (45:11)

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. This is always a really tough question for me because typically when I think about Million Dollar Claire. I think about her spending a lot more money, but just walking and talking here.

A (45:28)

Yeah.

B (45:29)

What does really just come up for me is. Yeah. Like, behaving like, you know what, somebody who solves problems and makes decisions faster. That's really it. I don't know how many times in the past year I would make a decision and then two weeks later, talking to my. My ops person and he'd be like, okay, this is what we're doing. I'm like, why you decided that? I did, like, just. And I would go back and forth and back and forth and.

A (46:04)

Yeah.

B (46:04)

Talk about some waste of time. And I know that some people, like, I remember Stacey Bayman saying this, that she takes a long time to make a decision, so then when she has made it, she coaches herself just completely. Yeah, yeah. And. But that might be giving me permission to waste time with that kind of thing.

A (46:25)

Yeah. Yeah. I sort of feel like, along those lines, one more thing that we hadn't touched on that I think is important because I think that will trip people up too, is like, well, what if I can't make a decision? Certainty. We haven't really talked about certainty. Just real quick, right. Like, feeling like what I have to have certainty to make a decision. How do I make a decision if I don't know for sure? So you just stay in indecision. Something Claire and I have been talking about a lot is the mentality of experimentation. Right. Is it just saying, like, okay, I don't know for sure. The brain craves certainty. I'm not going to be certain, but what is my best guess right now? And can I just make peace with the fact that, yeah, it's a guess and if it works, then great, we'll keep doing it. And if it doesn't, then we will try something else. But I think for a lot of us, we stay in indecision or we delay decisions because we're hoping that certainty comes. And I wonder if a big part of this is just getting comfortable with the reality that there's not going to be certainty.

B (47:25)

Oh, yeah. Absolutely it is. I'm like, visualizing this number one comma, bunch of zeros, another combo and zeros. And it's like, there's no. There's no ramp up there. It's just me here and it up there. And it's like, well, I'll be there. I will be there.

A (47:44)

Yeah.

B (47:45)

And then, you know, that starts to waver and. But you just gotta believe when you don't believe.

A (47:48)

Yep, that's right. What a conversation yeah.

B (47:52)

I'm really glad that this is your goal because it has rocked my world a little bit.

A (47:56)

Has it?

B (47:57)

Yep, yep.

A (47:58)

Yeah.

B (47:59)

I mean, coming back from Matt leave and some of the decisions that I made last year, that. And I'm just gonna have my back on them.

A (48:05)

Yeah, absolutely.

B (48:07)

And. And, you know, prior years, I have to. I did what I thought was best at the time, and then I have the results that I have. I don't know, there's something about, like, you going for this goal and me wanting to be also my best. Whereas I think. I mean, we talk about the circumstances of infertility, kids, you know, who are neurodivergent, schedules, relationships.

A (48:41)

Yeah.

B (48:41)

Where the. Literally the location of where the best school for your kid is and how that impacts your day.

A (48:47)

Yeah.

B (48:49)

But, like, sometimes I think I've used that as an excuse to. Under work.

A (48:56)

Yeah, same.

B (48:58)

Under work.

A (48:59)

Same.

B (49:00)

So, yeah, I. I'm already, like, feeling better about even just working this weekend.

A (49:07)

Yeah, doing a little bit.

B (49:08)

What did we do? 90 minutes total?

A (49:12)

Pretty much, yeah. And we could go we. And we. And then we probably. Maybe 30 more to give each other feedback.

B (49:17)

No, I think the 30 minutes includes. I think we were only doing an hour. But the other thing I'll say is that Steph and I, we realized this last year, but this year we are actively planning to be together in person much more. Because we know the impact that has on our selling on our beliefs, on our ideas. This morning in bed, I was waiting for her to wake the fuck up so I could go get some coffee, and this idea just cracked open. Not even an idea like epiphany cracked open. And I just don't think it would have happened in my bed with my dear, dear husband snoring beside me.

A (49:59)

Right. Yeah. No, that's a great point, too. When you find the people who inspire you, when you find the people who make you feel more capable, make an effort to get together with them in person regularly. I mean, we pretty much have been on the calendar for the whole year now, seeing each other almost every other month. Pretty close. Pretty close, yeah. And we go home feeling more fired up. And it is an investment. It's a huge investment. Not. Not even monetarily as much as, like, our husbands are home with the kids. Like, it's a lot. It's a lot to leave life at home behind. But I think when you're. If you are going after impossible goals, you have to take your support system seriously. So seriously.

B (50:44)

That's a great plan.

A (50:45)

We did it.

B (50:46)

That's the Other thing, even with ourselves, you know?

A (50:48)

Right. Like, I. I have a life coach, guys. I have a life coach, a business coach. Like, I am resourced. My life coach. My life coach is Greg Johnson, as we mentioned. She's like, I want to see you every week while you're going after a million. Right. She's like, I need to. You need. You need the support. And she's 100% right. So if you're going after an impossible goal, make sure you have support. Find that support. If you don't have it, get it. Because it's just harder when you're. You'll talk yourself out of it. I've shared that. That before, that when I quit my business, I was just like, inside my own four walls of my life, like, not being out there enough. And so when you are in community, you are so much less likely to quit, that I know for sure.

B (51:27)

All right.

A (51:27)

All right.

B (51:28)

Let's make sure people know when they can sign up to work with us, because it will be coming up. You know, I think we're launching at the exact same time.

A (51:38)

Yes.

B (51:38)

Mid March.

A (51:39)

Yes.

B (51:40)

Get paid. Marketing opens and sold out group programs opens. Yes.

A (51:45)

I am on Instagram at. Hey, Steph Crowder, you want to follow along? I'll be sharing a lot more about all of my failures on my way to achieving this goal or doing my damnedest to achieve this goal. So I hope you'll.

B (51:59)

You'll, you know, if you.

A (51:59)

If you hang out on Instagram, I hope you'll come follow along. Tell me what you think. I'm going to be as open and vulnerable and honest as I possibly can without throwing up. So that's. That's my plan.

B (52:09)

Without throwing up. I would also love to hear from anybody if you're open to it. You know, if you got anything from this episode, shoot me and. Or Steph. It can be a group, a message. Let us know. I'm at Claire Pelz, and she is. Hey, Steph Crowder. That's right, on the Instagram. We'll put all of that in the show. Notes of these respective shows, et cetera. Thanks so much, Steph. This is fun. How many steps do we have?

A (52:33)

Let's. Yeah, let's. Let's tell the people.

B (52:35)

They definitely want to know. I don't know. Some.

A (52:40)

I have 6,500.

B (52:41)

Damn. I'm at. Okay, almost 6,000. Pretty good. All right, we'll get the rest of our steps at the airport.

A (52:47)

We'll catch you next time.

B (52:48)

Thank you for listening.