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Courage & Clarity
190: "But I Feel Desperate!" How to Ditch Convincing Energy and Sell From Total Conviction Instead
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Foreign. Welcome to the Courage and Clarity podcast. I'm your host, Steph Crowder. I'm a former sales training director who's helped thousands of entrepreneurs earn a living doing something they love over the past 10 years. On your journey, you'll need the courage to be bold, to take risks, and to do what looks crazy on paper. You'll also need the clarity, the brass tacks, simple strategies that actually work. And on this podcast, we deliver both in equal measure. Oh, and by the way, we've got absolutely no time for bs, gross marketing tactics or get rich quick schemes. Just sustainable business strategies for good humans with big dreams. If that sounds like you, you're in the right place. Let's go. Hello. Hello, my friends. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the podcast. I am so happy that you're here today. Thank you for spending some time with me. I am very excited, as always, to sit down at the mic and I've got a little bit of like a, a burning idea on the tip of my tongue before, you know, typically when I sit down to record an episode, I'm not, as you can probably tell, I'm not like a big scripter or anything. For all the years I've been podcasting, I always just like do a few bullet points and go, but for today, I didn't even do that much. Okay. I was like, I've given the same sort of like Steph rant, if you're familiar with the Steph Soapbo rant. I get real worked up and fired up and my clients tend to love that. And I've had the same Steph rant a couple times in the last week. And I was like, ooh, I think I need to talk about this on the podcast. So before I could even sit down and write bullet points, I was like, let me just hit go. Sometimes these are the best episodes, I think. And I'm just gonna give it to you all straight because I know this is a really, really big question that I'm going to tackle today. And it's something that all of us, every single one of us, has felt and unfortunately will feel again in the future. And that is the convincing energy that can come with sales, right? It's kind of the worst case scenario when you're in one of the worst case scenarios when you're in a sales relationship, right? When you are, maybe you have a launch based business where you're launching your, your group program, your cart is open and you are reaching out to people, people are asking you question and you really, really want them to sign up, right? So you start responding, you start trying to overcome their objections. You start trying to answer. Answer their questions, and you just start to feel like, ugh, like, I feel like I'm having to talk people into it, right? And you're like, that's not how I want to feel. I want to feel like people want this. I want to feel like they have no freaking questions. They're just like, done. Sign me up. Like, where do I pay you? And sometimes when we're not in that place where we feel like we are answering a lot of questions, our sales are not moving in the way that we would hope or the way that we would expect, it can actually even tip into a space of entitlement, right? And before you start thinking anything's wrong with you for this, this is, again, something that I think all of us will experience. It can create a lot of shame when you. When you find it because you're like, oh, like, I don't want to be entitled, but I think sales entitlement is very. Is very normal as well. And sales entitlement sounds like, well, gosh, like, I worked so hard on this launch. Like, they should get it right. But, like, I put in so much time. This should be flying off the shelves, right? Oh, my price is so fair. They shouldn't have any questions. Like, this is ridiculous, right? I shouldn't have to be following up with you 10 times. You should just get it by now and just buy it. That is what sales entitlement can sound like. And again, it feels terrible, right? So I was having a few conversations last week for some. One person was a client. One person was a colleague and a friend. And in both conversations, we were talking in different ways about the convincing energy. And I wanted to tell you, I gave each of them a pep talk, and they both were like, damn, that was fire. So I want to tell you what I told them. Okay? Now when. Let's just back it up for a minute and break this down. When your brain offers you the thought, ugh, I'm convincing. I've. I've. I've become desperate. Like, this is gross, right? The natural response to that, of course, is going to be that you want to pump the brakes. And that makes so much sense. Like, who wants to come off like that, right? So as soon as you identify it, your instinct is going to be, let me pull back. Let me. Like, this is not the vibe. Let me. Let me chill, okay? I believe two things are happening at the same time. When this process is unfolding. Two things can be True. And that is, number one, you've identified that you're in an energy of convincing that you don't like. Okay, I'm not. You might be surprised. I'm not gonna try to talk you out of that. I'm not. I'm gonna let you have that because again, I think that is a real energetic space. And I actually do think that all of us should clock that when it happens. I don't think we should be like, no, no, no, you're not. You're not convincing. Like, no, that's, that's. I don't think that's the really going to help. What helps is to be like, okay, pause, like time. I. I think the response to when you catch yourself might be. I, I can almost guarantee is going to be what surprises you about how I approach this? Okay, so if you have identified that you are in a convincing energy, again, I'm not gonna tell you that you're wrong. I'm not gonna be like, no, that's just your mindset. Like, you just need to reframe. No, no. Mm, mm. You've slipped. You've slipped into convincing. And that's very normal, very human. No shame required. You can just be like, oops, there it is. I feel kind of desperate. And again, we don't have to judge ourselves. You really want it, right? Like, I think about dating sometimes. I compare sales and dating. Cause it's. They're both human, like dynamic interpersonal relationships. Of course, right? And cause another place, I think that other. That some of us can relate to feeling desperation in a relationship is with romantic partners, right? Maybe you really, really like somebody and you're like, oh my God, I want them to call me again, right? Or like, I really think they could be like, who I'm supposed to date or like they could be my next person, right? And we just get really freaking emotionally invested in that. At least I have. Is that just me? I don't. I don't think it's just me. Where you're just like, I really want this to work out, right? And in wanting it to work out, you become kind of over invested, right? You become. That's where the desperate feeling comes from. And again, it's like, there's no use talking ourselves out of it. I think we can just pause there and be like, okay, I'm feeling like I'm trying to. I'm having to convince people. I'm feeling like I'm having to prove something, right? And here's the part where there's like a fork in the road moment again, the natural reaction to that is like, oh, let me fall back, like, let me not reply, begging this person. This is a conversation I was having with a friend of mine where she's like, I'm done, I'm done chasing. And I think, I think this is a bit of an error that I see. This is where it goes wrong, is where we think, like, oh, I'm not gonna chase anybody. Right? Like that's where the desperation is coming from. The desperation is coming from me chasing people, from me continuing to pursue people. So I see people talking themselves out of personal reach outs, personal invitations and creating new sales conversations. They're talking themselves out of that. Cuz they're like, well, I'm not willing to be desperate and I'm not willing to be convincing. As if that's the only way to do a reach out. That's where the thought error is. Okay? If you catch yourself in convincing energy, desperate energy, fine, that's a great thing to catch. But where I see people going wrong is what they make it mean. They make it mean. Time for me to pull back, okay? No more reaching out. I don't like how this feels. Let me retreat. And if they want to come, it's like you throw your hands in the air and they're like, if, if they want to come to me, they can come. There's even more thought errors that pile onto this where we think things like, well, if they wanted it badly enough, they would lead. Right? If they were really that interested, they would reach out. If they were willing. Oh, this is my favorite. If they were willing to do the work, if they were really ready, they would reach out. Okay? Not always the case. It's a very, very convenient story that your brain is telling you because pop quiz, what does your brain want you to do? Your brain wants you to sit on the couch, right? And if you have the thought, I'm not willing to chase, I'm not willing to be convincing. It's gonna be very easy for you to justify couch sitting, okay? All in the name of not chasing. That is where the problem is. Let me tell you all something. As a buyer myself, this is how I know that this is true. Couple of reasons. As a buyer myself, I have multiple examples. I have people like people's names. I'm not of course going to say them, but I'm a buyer. I have invested tens of thousands of dollars into coaching. It could be over six figures at this point. It probably is. Actually, no, it definitely is. I would say right around that six Figure Mark, I mean I have spent so much money on coaching. I am a product of coaching. I love coaching. I love hiring mentors. It's very, very important to me, right? I'm a great student. I'm a very, I'm a star student. I'm a overachiever. I don't stop until things work. I'm a pleasure to have in class, if I do say so myself, okay? And I have multiple examples of folks that I have considered working with within the past year and they never followed up with me. And honestly, if I'm being really honest, it probably would have taken one personal reach out of them being like, hey, I was thinking about you because in some of the cases I'm thinking of we've had a conversation, right? Or maybe they've even coached me before at like some event or whatever. I've had some kind like these are people that I've, I'm not like a. No name to them. Like we have been in the same rooms or things like this, right? And I have kind of like done something to indicate that I could be interested, right? Whether that is being in their room or you know, attending one of their trainings or something like that, right? And I, what I do and I wonder if this is something that overachievers and high achievers do is I talk myself out of things, right? I'm like, man, this is really interesting. I mean these are like five figure investments that we're talking about, right? So I'm a good salesperson and I can talk my second sell myself and in any which way. And of course the default is going to be to sell myself out of it because I don't have to spend the money. And this is always something I'm talking about is that even if we can afford something, doesn't mean it's fun to afford something. Friends, right? Like plunking down that money is always going to be hard. That's another mistake that people make in sales is thinking, oh well, if they have the money, like then it's going to be like the only financial objections come from people in dire financial straits. Absolutely not. Right? You can have the money and have a lot of financial objections. Okay? So I am thinking of these like opportunities that I've evaluated and honest to God, one reach out. Hey, I like was wondering if you would, if you thought it would be worth us having a conversation, like I'd love to work with you. I think you could be a great fit. Probably would have been enough for me to be like, you know what Yeah, I do want to talk to you. Like, let's get on a sales call. Let me give this, like a serious look. And I have multiple examples of folks who saw me there, saw me in that room, had me like, wherever they, like, whatever the case was. Again, multiple situations and I never heard from them. Okay, this is the power of personal invitation. And it's not like I was like waiting for that necessarily, but when you have somebody who is really thinking about it and they're like, will, I won't, I will, I won't die, they're like really kind of on the fence. I think it is such a false conclusion to be like, that's not my ideal client. I call such BS on that. Right. They might not be there because they need to have a conversation, but they're, they're not reaching out for whatever reason. It could be that they're busy. It could be that they are scared. It could be that they know that if they reach out, they're going to be sold to. Right. Like, there are so many reasons that don't end with, well, they're just not, they're just not interested enough. I don't think that's the case at all. Because on the flip side, I have examples of folks I've worked with, mentors I've had, programs I've been part of where they just, you know, may have made a passing comment to me and said, like, hey, I think, I think you'd be awesome in my program. Or like, we'd love to have you. You should reach out, you should apply. Next time I'm open, we should set something up. I think it's time. Literally, I'm thinking of exact examples of people who I have paid multiple tens of thousands of dollars and that is all it took. And again, star student, I've like, you know, I'm not. Because the other conversation I've had with people is like, yeah, but then, like, if you have to, if you have to initiate it, then they're going to come in and be a nightmare. No, no, not necessarily. Okay. So it's so interesting to me the way we talk ourselves out of inviting and doing a personal reach out. This to me would be like if you were having an amazing dinner party. I know I've talked about the dinner party before. Imagine this. Imagine you were like putting. How about this? This is the perfect analogy. Imagine you were having like an epic, beautiful, amazing dinner party that you were just so, so, so proud of. You were like, this is going to be good enough for the, for the Prince, like, of the, you know, for the king of England. This is going to be amazing, right? And you go around your neighborhood putting up flyers on like, you know, like polls. You're just like, people are going to want to come. They're going to be so sold on this party because I'm going to put on the flyer free drinks and free food and listen, some people are going to be like, yeah, I'm going to that party. Guess what? Other people are going to be like, I don't know, am I, am I invited? Like, you know, does she actually want me there? Like, you know, is that, like, is it for me? Like, that's so normal. Why do we invite people to things in our personal life? Hey, I'm having this party. I would love to see you there. Like, that's something that people do and I feel like we don't look, we don't blink twice at it in our personal lives. And then yet when it comes to business, like, you know, you are letting yourself have the thought, well, I can't reach out to them. I can't tap them on the shoulder. Like, that would be weird on what planet, right? It's like human interpersonal relationship 101. So I think that's the first thing that I just want to clear up. I also have the experience of over a decade of reaching. I reach out to people. I tap people on the shoulder. Hey, I saw you came to my training. Hey, I know, we've been going back and forth on Instagram. Hey, I saw you at that conference. You know, this is how I'll reach out to people. And in my over 10 years of doing this, I have never, ever had somebody be like, you know what, it's super gross that you, that you reached out. I've only ever had people be like, it's so cool to hear from you. Thanks so much. Even if they say, like, yeah, you know, it's not the right time for us to talk because X, Y and Z. And I definitely received those messages back. It's so good to hear from you. You know, I'm going through a lot right now, so now's not going to be the time. But they're always like, I'm so glad you reached out. Like, it's really nice to hear from you. I'm cheering for you. And we get, we like a beautiful conversation ensues. Like, what is the problem with that? Right? It's so crazy to me. I really feel like we overcomplicate and talk ourselves out of these personal reach outs. So that's the first thing I really wanted to say. And reframe is like, you. What if you have at least one buyer like me who's sitting there being like, oh, man. Like, I don't know. I'm. I'm just going to pass. I'm just going to pass. And all they needed was for you to reach across that invisible aisle and be like, hey, hey, I saw you were at my training, right? I see you've been, you know, liking my stuff. Like, let's talk. That's all it takes. Okay, let's go back to the energy of convincing, though, because I told you what not to do. When you. When you've noticed the energy of convincing, it's not a sign to fall back. It's not automatically a sign that you should, like, I wish you could see me. You know, you're listening to a podcast right now, but I'm, like, putting my hands up in, like, the fake surrender. Like, let me just fall back. Let me just like, oh, I'm convincing. Like, I don't like how this feels. Let me retreat. What you need to do is actually the exact opposite. Okay? What I said to my client and my friend, who are going through some different flavors of the similar thing, I said to them, if you feel like you're convincing, you are not convicted. If you feel like you are convincing, you are not convicted. In other words, you need to double down on your conviction around your offer, right? Because if you are so sold, you. Not them, you. If you are so sold on what an amazing opportunity your offer is, how incredible the transformation is, your client results, what is possible for people. How about this one? How hard it is without you, what is the freaking alternative, right? If they don't work with you, right? When you are, like, fired up about this, this is, like, what you need to work on. If you don't feel like, let's go, I am ready to evangelize. That really is the word. Like, spread the good news about what is possible in my program. If you are not in that place, you have to stop and you have to get there. Okay? And this is like an ancient sales principle, but we forget this, that, like, you have to be the most sold, you have to be the highest on your own supply. If you don't believe in the stuff you're selling, y', all, and you are expecting somebody to be more sold than you, we have a problem. It's a fixable problem. But you have to stop. You have to start there. You have to start there, stop selling until you are so fired up that you're like, you know, I'm almost like, in a fight club mood about it. I'm like, step into the ring with me. Let's talk about. And it's not violent, but it's like. It's like, I'm like, fired up. I'm like, let's go. Let's talk about what is possible, right? What is convincing about that? It almost from. This is so good. It back to dating. It reminds me of, like, if you're feeling desperate, if you're feeling convincing, where is that coming from? It's coming from you secretly thinking you're not good enough for that person. You're like, oh, my God. I don't know if somebody else is going to come around as good as them. I really hope they like me. Where if you want to stop feeling like that is the answer to stop dating? I don't think so. The answer is looking at yourself, right? And being like, hold on, hold on, hold on. What am I out here doing? Being desperate and convincing? What are all of the ways I am an amazing catch, right? Like, what are. Not to say that they can't be amazing, too. This isn't a narcissism thing. But, like, how do I get pumped? How do I take that energy that I'm spending on, like, convincing and desperation and take that energy and be like, how do I put it on myself and remind myself not forget who I am? Hold on a second. Like, they might be great and I'm not going to take that away from them, but also, I'm pretty great to date. What are all of the reasons why, like, I'm a catch too. And, like, imagine getting yourself on board with that and then reaching out to them. So this is where people make. Make the mistake. They, like, get themselves all puffed up and then they're like, I'm just gonna cross my arms and wait for them to come to me and realize how amazing I am. And it's like, no, no, no. What if you got yourself to that place of being like, oh, oh, yeah, right, right. I am that girl, that guy. And then you were to go and date from that place, and then you were to go and text from that place. Completely different energy, right? And so when I was coaching my client and coaching my friend, this is what we talked about. I was like, if you're feeling convincing and desperate, where are you not like, oh, hold on. What I've got going on is epic. And I don't have any issue with sharing with you all the ways, right? Answering all of your questions, overcoming every one of your objections. Because if there is any chance that you are supposed to be in my room, I want that for you, right? I want to make as big an impact as I can because I know what I do works, right? And I'm reaching out from a place of like, get in here. Not for me, but for you. What is convincing about that? Right? And another offshoot of this is like, when I was talking with my client about like the questions that were coming in, the objection. She was getting so tired of answering all the questions, which, first of all, questions and objections are signs of life, signs of engagement. I don't care how small, how silly. People who aren't gonna buy, people who aren't deeply thinking about it, do not take the time to reach out with questions, right? And for this client, we were talking about, like, you know, in the case of like executive coaching and like corporate coaching or having a program for people in corporate, some people are reaching out to be like, yeah, my company won't pay for it though, right? And it's like, you know, let's just say that this is like a, let's say it's like a thousand dollar offer. I'm just making this up. And the, the person reaching out is like, I want to do it. My company won't pay for it. And my client, again, like, totally normal to have the reaction, I don't want to have to convince them to spend their own money. Totally normal reaction, right? And what I said to her that I'll say to you is they're not thinking big enough, right? And that's because you aren't thinking big enough. Because here's the deal. This client's program helps people get significant, significant pay raises. Like, significant. She has the receipts, right? This person's program helps people get incredible bonuses. If we anchor into that $1,000 out of your pocket, I completely understand how a prospect is like, I don't want to have to spend that. My company won't pay for it. I don't want to have to spend a thousand dollars. Totally get it. I never want to spend a thousand dollars either. But it's just a sign they're not thinking big enough, right? It's a drop in the bucket. And what was happening is my client was like, again, kind of believing the objection, which we are all very inclined to do. We're like, yeah, they don't want to spend a thousand dollars. I don't want to have to convince them. And it's like, instead of trying to play on that level, I coached my client to think, well, what is. Where are they? Just not like they're getting stuck. And this is very normal, very normal prospect behavior for them to just be getting stuck at the investment. They're not thinking past it. They're like, $1,000, $2,000, $8,000, $10,000. I can't. I can't do that. Right? I don't want to do that. That is. And a lot of times I see my clients and people that I talk to are trying to meet them at that level. Oh, let me convince them that. That this money is worth it. You are not thinking big enough with that response, right? In what way does your program become like a bowling ball that's going to knock out all of their issues, right? Because, listen, if you get a 50% pay raise as a result of being in this program, not only do you not care that you spent $1,000, but you would spend it every single day of the week, right? I think about this all the time with my program, which is $8,000, right? And $8,000. A lot of people who work with me, it's like the first time they've spent that kind of money. And when they come to me, they're like, 8,000, Steph, $8,000. I can't spend that. Right? My job is not to be like, yeah, but you get all of this. You get this many calls. You get, like, you know, that would be so convincing, right? My job is to help them. See, you are not looking at. You're not looking at this like a true investor. You're not looking at, yeah, you're gonna spend $8,000. But if you were spending $8,000 and you knew that 50 to 100k is what we're going for, how does that feel, spending $8,000? Right? Well, now you're going to spend that every, every day of the week, right? 24, 7, $8,000. And we're going to add 20k, 50k, 100k to your bottom line. You're not thinking big enough. Okay? And this conversation starts with you. Now, for those of you, I know I'm talking money right now, but for those of you before you hit me with like, yeah, but my program doesn't give people the, you know, financial. The same conversation, right? I'm going to give you an example of one of my clients who is also launching right now, and she teaches people. I'm going to have her on the podcast soon. Y'. All. Y' all know her. If you've been around a While. But she's going to come back because she's got a launch happening with some big exciting lessons. My client, who teaches ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs, y', all those people are not getting their money back for spending, for spending time learning hieroglyphs. But in her case, what we've talked about is like, when you go to Egypt, which a lot of her people are going to Egypt or at least going to museums, having experiences where they are going to be face to face with ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs. If you haul your butt all the way to Egypt and you cannot read what is on those walls versus if you go to Egypt, you spend all the money, you spend all the time and you get there and you are so good at reading those hieroglyphs that people on the tour think you are the tour guide, which has happened to her students. She has literally had success stories where people are like, I knew more than the tour guide. How does that change your trip to Egypt that you spent all your money on and all your pto, okay, that is a return on investment of. Of epic proportions for somebody whose dream. Dream has always been since they were a child, their dream has been to be able to travel to this incredible ancient place and be able to read every. Anything they want to read. Come on, you gotta be thinking bigger, okay? And it's like, well, I can't spend 400 on this course. You really, to have that experience that you've been dreaming of, you have to be thinking bigger. And your clients thinking bigger starts with you thinking bigger. Because let me tell you something, if every time somebody comes to me, they're like, $8,000, that's so much money. And I could easily be like, you're right. Oh, my God, you're right. Like, that's a car. Like, I could have. I just hit my microphone too. Fired up. You all. I could have that reaction, right? I could be like, that is a lot. Okay? Or I can remember and be so convicted about why I do what I do and all of my client results and everything that is possible and how incredible it's going to be of an experience for the people that work with me. And then I will have a completely different conversation. I can go back and forth and back and forth and back and forth with somebody and not once will I sound convincing, right? There's a difference between confidently describing what your offer can do and being in that place of like, let's go. Another example of my client that I was telling you about with the corporate program is another thing again. Like these. Here's how you can tell is when it's like, little sort of like, logistical questions. That's how you can tell they're thinking too small. Somebody reached out and she told me this, and they were like, I'm juggling too many projects at work right now. How could I fit this in right now? What you might be thinking, my client was thinking, too, is, like, how can I show them how this fits into their schedule? Example of you thinking too small. You'd have to convince them, well, we can find the time in your schedule. Convincing. Convincing. Convincing. Want to know what a better answer is? A convicted answer. Learning our process inside of this program means you are never going to feel like you are juggling multiple projects ever again. Right? We are going to show you how to have multiple projects on your plate and never feel like you don't have time to pour into yourself, like, let's actually solve that problem. I think that's a really good way to think about it in general is if you feel like you are having to convince people or like, talk people into how this fits into their budget or how this fits into their schedule, It's a sign again, that we need to be thinking bigger, and it's our job as the leader to help them. It's not their job to be there. Again, circling all the way back to the beginning of the conversation of being like, we just have this expectation that, well, if they just wanted it badly enough, if they were ready to do the work, that's why. That's a thought error. Because it's not their job to be the most sold on your program. That's your job to be the most sold. Right? So I think it's really like delegating ownership of who the leader in the equation is. In my opinion, prospects are allowed to have as many questions, as many doubts, and as many fears as it takes. Okay? I'm not gonna judge somebody or rule somebody out because they have questions. In fact, I. And this is something else I was talking to one of my clients about is you can. You know, because I think sometimes we have the thought like, oh, this if they have this many questions, or if they have objections in, like, before they've even bought, like, what kind of client are they going to be? Well, one way you can look at it is I actually love clients who are thorough with their decision. I love clients who think about a big purchase, right? I'm actually more concerned about the impulse purchase. I'm like, what miracle problem do you think I'm solving over here? That you just didn't even have any questions. Right. And if you're somebody who doesn't have questions, I'm kind of. I can be like that as well. So there's no judgment against that. But it's like we could really get on board with the fact that, like, somebody carefully weighing their decision of working with you does not have to be a negative comment on them. In fact, it could very easily mean that they're. Once they are there, once they're. And I've seen this over and over with my clients where they're like, all right, once they get to the place where they're like, I'm in. I get it, I see it. You're right, I'm in. Once they get there, they are some of the best, most hard working clients because they asked all the questions and they really thought about it and they ran the scenarios. And when they came to a yes, it was a yes with like 10 toes standing on it. Right. So that's the other way that we can really reframe. Like, there's nothing wrong with people taking this decision seriously. I don't care how low your price point is. Okay. You know, people like making sound financial decisions that is absolutely within their right. And I think it can be a very positive comment on how they show up in a space that they're committing to. Okay. So as we wind this rant down, I hope this has been helpful for you to kind of think about what you can do when you slip into convincing energy. Which, by the way, I want to remind you, the goal is to not like, to never feel like that again. I feel like that sometimes. And I'm, you know, I'm the pro. I'm an expert on this stuff. I don't think it's realistic. It reminds me of like somebody who is like, has a really, really, really healthy diet that or. Or somebody who's like, hasn't drank alcohol in like five years. That would be like expecting that they never want to have a drink. Of course, ask anybody who doesn't drink. Like, they still think about. Well, maybe not most people, I would say. Right. It's probably exceptions, but most people are like, yeah, cookies still sound good. Cake still sounds good, wine still sounds good. Right. The goal isn't to like, never feel that emotion again. It's just what you're making it mean. Oh, my God, I'm being convincing. That must mean I'm doing it wrong. No, no, it just. I want you to remember that if you're convincing, you've just slipped in your conviction. And you just have to double down on being the most convicted, the most fired up, the most sold, on what you bring to the table and on what your offer does for people and on their results and on their transformation. Notice how I didn't say about how like, amazing you are. I'm sure you're amazing, but that can be, that can be fraught, right where it's like, I'm the best, like, they should want to work with me. I don't think about that when I'm getting convicted. That's not what I think about. Because the way that we see ourselves and our self image fluctuates. If you're anything like me on a day to day basis, sometimes I think I'm awesome and other times I'm like, who, like feeling like a fraud. So you don't want to rely on that. It's not about you. That's, that's the whole other point is it's not about you at all. You have to get convicted on what's possible for them. You have to get convicted on the results that your program is capable of getting, of giving to them and getting for them. And if you're still struggling with that and you don't feel convicted about that, you have to start there. You have to figure out, how do I go and get better client results? How do I help people get a better transformation? Okay, that. And again, for some of you, that is not an excuse to be like, well, I can't sell for the next six months. I gotta figure out, no, no, no, no. You still need to practice selling. It doesn to take you much time at all to clean up what I just shared. Right? Like, you can change your thoughts about that. You can look at the clients that you've helped. You can if you really have to. I don't care if you have to work with people for free until you're like, you know what? I, I do help people. And here's the proof you need to have that. If you've lost it, pull it out. You know, some of my more experienced clients, they forget. They forget how much they help. And so I'll tell people, go read your testimonials. Go on your own sales page. This is one of the reasons I love having clients on my podcast. I do this for you guys, but I do it for me too. Because when I hang up, I'll be like, damn, that was awesome. Like, I didn't even realize they got that result. Like, I didn't know the extent of their transformation. I always this is a little bit of a secret insider tip. I always have clients success stories on my podcast right before I launch. Do you think that's a coincidence? Absolutely not. It's part of my success recipe. It's part of what makes me successful. To go into a selling period being like, hold, come on, scoreboard, Right? And I don't have to come up with that all by myself. So that is how you be convicted. If you want to shift out of that convincing energy, that is all you have to do. And please, for the love of everything, do not let the conclusion be, well, I just can't reach out. That would be chasing, right? I'm not going to send that invitation. That would be too desperate. No, no. Get to the place of total conviction. Get to the place of, like, a most amazing dinner party on planet Earth and then reach out to people from that place. I promise you it will be night and day in terms of how you are reaching out and what words you're saying and the energy you're using versus reaching out from a place of like, the power dynamic being like, I hope I can convince them. Maybe they could do me a solid, like, I'm indebted to them and asking a favor. Absolutely not. That's not where we want to be coming from. Okay. I hope you all enjoyed this episode. Is very fun for me to record. I think this will be one of my favorites that I've done in a while. A little bit more off the cuff, a little bit more just me out here riffing and ranting. So if you liked this episode, I would love to know. I. It really makes my day when you all leave reviews on the podcast or when you share the podcast on your social media channels. Tag me. I'm at. Hey, Steph Crowder. Let's get the word out there about what it really means when you feel convincing in your sales and how to fix it. Okay. Okay. I will see you all soon in another episode. And until then, I am wishing you the courage and the clarity to go after what you love.