Take The Glove Off - Episode 259

Summary

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Crash Dummies Podcast – Episode 259: “Take The Glove Off”

Date: May 20, 2026
Hosts: Patrick Johnson & Michael (Mike) Esiobu
Guests/Regulars: Jean, Carrie, Various Callers

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Episode Overview

This episode blends the signature Crash Dummies approach—wild hypotheticals, commentary on trending events, and open lines for candid, often self-deprecating caller stories. Pat, Mike, Jean, and Carrie debate everything from uncomfortable “you be the judge” questions to viral moments in comedy, music, relationships, and pop culture. Listeners call in with PSAs and messy personal confessions, blending real talk with humor as the crew tackles hot topics with their usual offbeat, relatable tone.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. You Be The Judge: Wild Hypotheticals

[00:00 – 02:43]

• Kickoff Scenario:
  • Would you rather give your ex a ride to work twice a week forever, or review your top 20 wildest texts with your mom on a big screen?
  • Most choose the text option—unless, per Pat: “I don’t want to lose my mom!” [00:47]
  • Discussion shifts to “wildest” texts and what makes a text actually wild (sexual? just unhinged teen angst?).
  • Jean: “I thought it was sexual, so I didn’t care!”
  • Carrie and others riff about how messy ex-rides could ruin current relationships.
• Memorable Moment:
  • “Imagine having to drop your ex off twice a week… I’d be cool with that, getting up late on purpose. Like, fuck it.” — Patrick [01:41]

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2. Identity, Names & Doxxing Paranoia

[03:00 – 04:43]

• The crew jokes about full names, college sports name culture, and name-mangling under pressure.
• Shout out to tour dates (Detroit & Toronto). Jean jokes, “Don’t give us no places just so we can meet you. We not on that type of time.” [05:34]

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3. Kevin Hart’s Netflix Roast & The Limits of Comedy

[05:53 – 13:06]

• Roast Recap:
  • Carrie: “We don’t appreciate comedians enough for how they can joke on each other but still have respect.”
  • Backlash over Tony Hinchcliffe’s George Floyd joke sparks in-depth team debate: where’s the line between edgy and real racism?
  • Jean: “When you can sense this person might be a little racist in real time… it can rub people the wrong way.” [06:41]
  • Patrick: “He just hasn’t proved enough to tell that joke… If Kevin Hart said it, I’d be looking at him like, what the fuck are you talking about?” [07:15]
  • Consensus: There’s nuance, but George Floyd jokes cross a line—“It was just low-hanging fruit, too.” [07:34]
  • Discussion on how social media can amplify or nitpick offensive material, and whether kids should stumble across dark comedy on Netflix.
  • Jean: “With Netflix, you have the choice to watch it, though.” Carrie: “But you don’t have a choice if you’re just seeing clips on social.” [11:20]
• Memorable Quote:
  • Patrick: “There should have just been more Black comedians...we probably wouldn’t have been offended by the jokes, you know what I’m saying?” [08:47]

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4. Drake Album Drops, Fan Wars & Social Algorithms

[13:06 – 18:58]

• Patrick comments on bias in music fandom—how people defend or trash Drake for clicks.
  • “You’ll see somebody that’s a superfan of Drake like, ‘This is why this is good.’ …Just shut up and press play. Or don’t.” — Patrick [14:29]
• Social takes on how quickly fan opinions come vs. sitting with an album.
• Everyone admits to repeat-listening before final judgment.
  • “America read at a fourth-grade level, so we already know…” — Patrick [17:16]
• Caption Etiquette:
  • Patrick and Jean clown on Instagram story oversaturation: “We all got about, like, six days with the story post and the music… After six days, let’s sprinkle it in… We all can’t be using the same song.” [17:50]

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5. Clout, Clubs, & Social PSAs

[19:36 – 38:28]

• Instagram Etiquette:
  • How do you react when your friend’s photo already has 8 fire emojis? (Choose another emoji, post it on your story instead.)
• Caller PSAs:
  • Pegging Negotiations: Hilarious digression as a caller shares his “method” to avoid being pegged by his girlfriend—make it an impossible precondition: “If you gotta peg me, you gotta eat it first!”
  • Jean cracks: “Why can’t you just say no?” [27:08]
  • Sparkle Clothes Rant: Female caller expresses exasperation at “Cinderfella” men in clubs outshining women with sparkly outfits.
    • “Y’all got pants tighter than mine!” [30:53]
    • “Two to three bedazzles, max. Anything more… you’re not coming in the club.” [33:05]
• Clubbing as Couples:
  • Male caller declares, “Couples need to stop going to the club together. That’s not a relationship thing.”
  • Patrick: “So, basically, you don’t want women in the club who in a relationship because you insecure.” [37:29]
  • Group debates club etiquette and the worth of clubs for singles, couples, and the insecure.

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6. Confessions, Relationship Blunders & Late-Bloomer Woes

[40:04 – 55:57]

• Caller Confessions:
  • Multiple callers admit to sexual insecurities, underwhelming performance (“bad hips, bro,” “foreplay 10/10, the dick was horrible”).
  • Candid talk about communication breakdowns, ghosting after club hookups, and misunderstanding signals.
  • Jean sums up club dating: “Women give their number away at clubs for sport. This is a game.” [49:53]
    • “A girl three weeks after you met her once at the club is crazy.” [51:23]
• Callers struggle with moving on, getting advice from sisters, and learning harsh realities.
• Memorable Callbacks:
  • “You like, you can’t be a bachelor, bro. You have no car. No. No job. You got a job. You ain’t got no car, no house.” — Patrick [63:05]

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7. Gas Prices, Wages, and "Class Warfare" in the Club

[57:57 – 68:08]

• Meme about gas prices inspires discussion about economic stress, club admissions, and wage-based social class in nightlife.
  • “If I was a club owner, if you don’t look like you got your shit together or you got your shit too much together, you can’t come, man.” — Patrick [67:05]
  • Conversation on Uber as a gas-saving strategy: “I paid $114 to fill my tank…never seen my shit in the hundreds before...” — Jean [82:29]
• The crew jokes that clubs should be exclusively for “middle-class people” who need a break rather than ballers flaunting money.

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8. Dr. Cheyenne Bryant & The Fake Credential: Life Coach Debate

[68:06 – 76:19]

• Carrie brings up Dr. Cheyenne Bryant controversy: claiming the “doctor” title without proof—school closed, missing transcripts, etc.
  • “Anybody can get their transcripts.” — Jean [70:24]
  • Hosts agree: life coaching is fine, but direct therapeutic (“psychology expert”) work requires a license.
  • Patrick: “If someone’s literally saying I’m depressed…you should have a license for that.” [73:24]
  • Jean: “I don’t believe what the story she’s telling.” [75:34]
• Notable Quote:
  • Patrick: “There’s no proof in, like, life coach. She can’t even talk about something that she did because it’s probably private...I think life coach is fine.”

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9. Trending Topics, Wedding Traditions, and More Tweets

[76:32 – 87:51]

• Spicy Polaroids Wedding Trend:
  • Jean introduces the viral trend: Brides sneaking spicy Polaroid pics to the groom via the maid of honor—cue jokes about potential mishaps.
• Wedding Traditions:
  • Riff on awkward “garter belt” under-the-dress moment and table hierarchy at receptions: “Table 1, you can stand up for your food now. Table 35—you’re like, nah, he wasn’t even like that in college.” [85:36]
  • Carrie confesses to eating unclaimed meals: “No, it was paid for already.”
• DJ, DEI at Weddings:
  • Patrick: “I hate being the DEI at a wedding, though. I hate that. When it’s all white people.”

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10. Streamer Racism, Chud the Builder, and Social Consequences

[87:51 – 92:50]

• Chud the Builder Incident:
  • The pod reflects on the viral “Chud” streamer who baited Black people with racial slurs before escalating into violence (shooting himself during attempted assault).
  • Patrick: “Now he has a top dollar bond. Hopefully his baby mama gets with a Black dude, we’ll see who really chimpin’ out.” [89:22]
  • Jean: Dangers of “streamer culture” and making racism/violence viral for clout.
  • “Freedom of speech isn’t freedom of consequences.” [92:31]
  • Patrick: “There’s so many things that humans go through… if you break one small law…they’ll put you in jail for 20 years for bad stuff sticker.” [93:03]

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11. AP Swatch Drop: When Status Symbols Go Mass Market

[93:35 – 95:32]

• Luxury Status Collides with the Masses:
  • AP (Audemars Piguet) luxury watches do a Swatch collab, causing brawls as people scramble for more affordable status items.
  • Jean observes, “The annoying part for me is people complaining who don’t own APs or can’t afford APs.”
  • Patrick: “If they do have it, you didn’t buy it from AP… why are you complaining about a company you never bought from?”
  • “It’s elitism… I don’t want anybody to have access to my level.” — Jean

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12. Fights, Friendship, and Club Survival Scenarios

[95:32 – End (~97:44)]

• When to intervene in a fight? The crew admits you’ll try to stop it if your real friend is losing, but there’s etiquette:
  • “I would jump in if my friend’s getting his ass beat… it’s like throwing in the white towel.” — Jean [96:27]
• They share stories about messy club nights, leaving friends behind, and the role reversal if a woman passes out (the standard: protect women but dudes "on their own").
• The episode closes with tour reminders and advice: “Detroit is like a big theater…get y’ all tickets early. Don’t try to knock on the door.” [97:41]

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Memorable Quotes

• “You just gave yourself a box, bro!” — Patrick, on caller’s unique language for sexual acts [41:52]
• “If your baby is ugly, I’m not hiding my cigarette around it.” — Twitter, brought in by Carrie [64:22]
• “I’m a young bachelor, bro…Hell no, I’m the cheater.” — 21-year-old caller explaining why he can’t handle his mom nagging [63:38]
• “Club should only be for people that…got their shit together, but they still got a little bit way to go. They need a little break.” — Patrick [67:05]
• “If you break one small law…they’re gonna put you in jail for 20 years for bad sticker.” — Patrick [93:03]
• “There’s no proof in, like, life coach. She can’t even talk about something that she did because it’s probably private…” — Patrick [72:52]

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Episode Timestamps (Key Segments)

• 00:00–02:43 — Hypothetical icebreakers
• 05:53–13:06 — Comedy, Kevin Hart roast, racism in jokes
• 13:06–18:58 — Drake’s album, music opinions, and social media algorithms
• 19:36–30:10 — Social media etiquette, sparkly club wear, club rules
• 40:04–55:57 — PSAs: pegging, bad sex, caller confessions
• 57:57–68:08 — Gas prices, club class tension
• 68:06–76:19 — Dr. Bryant controversy, credentials, and the life coach debate
• 87:51–92:50 — Streamer racism, “Chud the Builder,” freedom of speech vs. consequences
• 93:35–95:32 — AP/Swatch collab and mass market luxury
• 95:32–End (~97:44) — Club fights, friendship codes, wedding rants

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Tone & Style

The episode features the classic Crash Dummies vibe: brash, self-deprecating, deeply conversational, and regularly veering from goofy hypotheticals to real social reflection. The team keeps it light, but doesn’t shy from calling out racism, hypocrisy, or insecurity—always with laughter, and always “taking the glove off.”

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Transcript

[Patrick Johnson]

I want to try something different. We're going to start the pod off with you be the judge. And we. We did this concept. Maybe y' all seen it on Patreon, maybe I haven't. You be the judge. I give you two scenarios and you explain to me why you're taking that scenario over the other one. So it's either give your ex a ride to work two times a week for the rest of your life or have your top 20 wildest text messages be displayed on a big screen and you have to review each one of them with your mom.

[Jean]

Just once.

[Caller/Guest]

Just one time.

[Jean]

Oh, I'm doing the text messages.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay.

[Carrie]

Text.

[Patrick Johnson]

Text.

[Carrie]

Yes.

[Patrick Johnson]

What you doing? I did a text. You doing a text too? Yeah. Now I gotta do the. I just pick up my ex.

[Jean]

Why?

[Patrick Johnson]

I don't want to lose my. I don't want to lose my mom.

[Jean]

So you asked that. Is that wild?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, I literally say I want to kill my mom before.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh.

[Patrick Johnson]

Oh.

[Jean]

I think like that wild exot sister.

[Patrick Johnson]

She losing your mind, you losing yourself. I was like 17. She stole my game.

[Jean]

I was like the.

[Patrick Johnson]

You know, I text my sister, like, she's gone.

[Jean]

No, I really must have been on some freak cuz when you said wildest text, I thought it was like very like sexual text.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm not a sexual texting.

[Jean]

That's why I was like. That's why I was like, that's fine.

[Patrick Johnson]

It's. It's like it's hard for me to get into that because like you said

[Jean]

I would say when I was younger, I was like, there's like, there's still sometimes you like. But it's your shot like that it

[Patrick Johnson]

just throw me off though. It's like too much that can go wrong. It's just like. Like, yeah, you turning me on, but this a run on sentence, baby girl. I don't like it. Where's the commas? Imagine having to drop your ex off twice a week though. I'd be cool with that. Getting up late on purpose. Like, fuck it.

[Carrie]

That's how you in a relationship.

[Jean]

Yeah, that's how she doesn't become your ex again.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's so messy. Your girl got to sit in the back se

[Jean]

in a month just because the same rules we just.

[Patrick Johnson]

You got to keep your hand on her thigh to make sure she gets. She swiped your head away. The God, I got to do this.

[Jean]

The up part in the scenario, your current girlfriend could soon become that passenger.

[Patrick Johnson]

Damn, that be crazy. You might thinking ahead. You keep playing, it's going to be you Nobody's keep that attitude of it. You'll be sitting here, she'll be gone, you'll be the front.

[Jean]

Yo, yo. That's not what we doing.

[Patrick Johnson]

Hello.

[Jean]

Hey, the radio is for people who are driving.

[Caller/Guest]

I'll drive them.

[Jean]

Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. Anyway, welcome to crash dummies, episode 259. And we got Carrie here, we got Jean here, we got Patrick Johnson here.

[Patrick Johnson]

Bro, you're so weird. You're so weird.

[Jean]

What? What?

[Patrick Johnson]

Why are you my whole name?

[Jean]

I don't. I don't even know car's last name off the top of my head.

[Patrick Johnson]

It's Nani, Juice,

[Carrie]

Michelle. Follow it.

[Patrick Johnson]

Don't do. You don't want to dox yourself like that, do you? What's your. Do I want to what? What's your last name?

[Carrie]

Oh, no, I'm not doing that.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay. That's all. Do people know. People know your last name?

[Caller/Guest]

They probably do.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jean]

And people.

[Patrick Johnson]

People definitely know your last name.

[Jean]

I don't think I've ever said my last name out loud.

[Patrick Johnson]

You don't say your last name at all.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Jean]

Yeah, I don't want that. I want them to keep saying it wrong.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, my biggest thing. Shout out to my guy. Shout out to my guy, Amar. But my biggest thing is when people are under pressure and they have to say his name and they never said it before because there's no reason to say somebody's last name, but you can know it. But to say it out loud and talk it, you don't really say it that much. So when somebody has a complicated last name, you never said it before, and you have to introduce them as that boy, you about to butcher the fuck out that name.

[Jean]

Oh, man. It's different, though, because in college, everybody called me by my last name, so it was like. It's just a sports thing. Like, sports. When you're in sports, you get called by your last name the whole time.

[Patrick Johnson]

Even in, like, younger ages in school

[Jean]

and stuff like that, especially having a common first name. Once you. Once I say it the first time, everybody would, like, kind of understand it. Yeah. But anyway, tour, May 31st. We're gonna be in Detroit. All right. Get your tickets. I know Summer Walker is the same day, but y' all got. We will. What passed? You gonna sing the song.

[Caller/Guest]

Come on.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. Yeah, what?

[Jean]

Sing the song.

[Patrick Johnson]

Do away your love letters.

[Jean]

I. Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Make you feel better. Come on. We get y' all Summer Walker during the show. We get. What we gonna do. Three Summer Walker songs.

[Jean]

Yeah, we got you.

[Patrick Johnson]

We Got you. We got booty. We can't replace it.

[Carrie]

No, I'm just taking.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's so crazy. You going to get us in trouble. Your husband going to come in here. Hey, hey, hey. That's how you going to see on our screen. Hey, don't knock over the camera, dude.

[Jean]

The camera just start moving this car right down the hall.

[Patrick Johnson]

Do this with no podcast, but make sure.

[Jean]

Make sure y' all get the tickets. Toronto tickets are almost sold out. The second show. The first show already sold out. So grab your tickets. Toronto as well. And our Toronto people. Let us know where to go. Yeah, we're in Toronto.

[Patrick Johnson]

Please let us know early. Don't give us no places just so we can meet you. We not on that type of time. I'm not going to lie. Like, give us some places where you like. This is an amazing experience. I've heard about it or I've been there. Please, please, please. We're not trying to meet up with you.

[Jean]

All right, what we got for the first stop first?

[Patrick Johnson]

Oh, we can talk about recently, obviously, has passed a little bit, but we haven't talked about it on the podcast. Kevin Hart had his roast comedy special on Netflix with an array of comedians ranging from Shane Gillis to Tony Hitchcliff. Tony Hitchcliff, the Rock. Anybody you can think of. Katt Williams came out for a surprise. What did y' all take away from the roast?

[Jean]

I'll let Carrie go first.

[Carrie]

Yeah. I thought that the roast was. I personally thought that it was good. I thought that it made me think that we don't appreciate comedians enough and for their sense of humor and how they are able to kind of just tell jokes on each other but still have respect for one another. And I think that's something that's lost today. But at the same time, I do understand all the backlash from it. I'm not gonna lie.

[Jean]

Yeah. I think obviously the biggest backlash is from Tony Hinchcliffe. Yes. And George Floyd joke. And I think when you hear racist jokes. Right. It. I think the thing that kind of makes me feel that calm sometimes, just like, okay, that person is not really like that. Right. That person is not. But when you can sense that this person might be a little racist in real time. So this might not. These don't sound like jokes. This sounds like how you really feel. I think it kind of can rub people the wrong way. I thought he was doing pretty good

[Carrie]

up to that point, but did he write those himself? Because I know they had writers.

[Jean]

No, he's a comedian, so I'm pretty sure he Wrote some people, even if

[Patrick Johnson]

they don't write it themselves. He still saw the shit, you know what I mean? Like, he's still like, he just hasn't proved enough to tell that joke. I don't think anybody has to be honest. So it's just like there's no person on earth where I'd be like, that would sound better coming out of their mouth. If Kevin Hart said the. I'd just be looking at him like, what the are you talking about too? And so it was just weird, I

[Jean]

think also too, George Floyd is like a regular, like just a regular person, not famous for anything. So like when you kind of like when you're making fun of like famous people's like death or something like that, there's least like, there's, there's that sense of popularity, like they're well known. You're saying these things like he's well known for, you know, something terrible that happened to him. So it's like, I don't know, there's also. It was just low hanging fruit too.

[Patrick Johnson]

There's also other people. And also like, this is what rubbed me the wrong way. If that was Donald Trump's roast or if that was anybody that was like white roast, would he have said that? Or would he know, like, Kevin Hart has a black room? So I'm going to say a George Floyd joke because it's going to be more controversial.

[Jean]

He might have because he already said something about like Puerto Rico being a shit show at the Republican convention as a joke. And so, like, I feel like he would probably would have found a way to loop it in.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, but if it's not like that's

[Jean]

what comedy is, I might have went off there.

[Patrick Johnson]

That is not. But that's not what comedy is. But that's what comedy tries to do. Like, if you walk away from a comedy event not kind of semi offended, then the comedians sometimes feel like they didn't do their job.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Jean]

Especially a rose. I get the premise of a roast and I don't know, I think, I

[Patrick Johnson]

think it was, I think that was okay.

[Jean]

I think it was pretty good.

[Patrick Johnson]

I think there should have just been more black comedians, you know what I'm saying? And we probably wouldn't have been offended by the jokes, you know what I'm saying?

[Jean]

I thought, yeah, I thought it was

[Patrick Johnson]

pretty good kind of mixed genre.

[Jean]

It just, it just seemed like some of those jokes up there, it didn't seem like they liked each other for real, like the Chelsea Handler and the Tony Hliff stuff. It didn't really like it sound like it was real beef behind their work.

[Carrie]

There definitely is the Tony because of, I believe, his political views for sure. But, you know, my thing is, I had to think about it like this, okay? Back in the day, comedians always used to say extremely racist jokes all the time. From the 70s, 80s, 90s. Right. But I want to say when that was happening back then, it was more so in a. In a space where people knew that that's what was going to happen and they expected it and it wasn't going to go viral for everybody else to nitpick, if that's not really your niche of comedy that you like. But now with social media, I think everything kind of is heightened ye innocence, and you can pick it apart. And whether or not you are for a roast like that or you're not, you feel like you have to give your two cents, and it just kind of blows things out of proportion. Not talking about the George Floyd part, because I thought that that was completely disgusting.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

But just the other racist jokes, I'm

[Jean]

like, I didn't really get the Cheryl one either, though. Like, they call. They're saying she was so dark. I don't think she's that dark skinned, though.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's just Rose.

[Jean]

It was just funny saying that with Draymond Green, who was like the same complexion.

[Patrick Johnson]

They made a joke of them together, too. Somebody did, yeah.

[Jean]

It was like a shape, but I feel like Draymond was darker than her.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, but she's more. She's more popular. They probably didn't know Draymond was gonna be there. But the other thing I was gonna say is them even having a roast on Netflix is what's crazy overall. You talk about the social media. Yeah, that's the last point of it. That's a really good point. But the other point is, like, it should never even reach Netflix because it used to be on Comedy Central.

[Jean]

Exactly. Netflix, though, huh? They did the Tom Brady on Netflix.

[Patrick Johnson]

I know that's when they got corporate, but that's what I'm saying. That's when it began to get corporate. I'm saying the old school roles with like Jeff Ross and all them, they did it on Comedy Central. That's one like Comedy Central, the type of thing. Like, if you 12, 13, if your mom walks in and you're watching Comedy Central, she might tell you to change the channel.

[Carrie]

Right, Right.

[Patrick Johnson]

But if I'm on Netflix, I'm a kid, or if I'm in a family room now, all these people have access to something that's super dark humor that used to be high. Be behind like a, like a hidden channel, basically. Exactly why all those people were like sitting on the stage. Probably didn't even say nothing. That was a lot of Netflix.

[Jean]

There was a lot of on stage. Was on stage.

[Patrick Johnson]

Everybody you seen on there is just somebody that you know has a special on Netflix.

[Jean]

But with Netflix though, you have the choice to watch it though.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Jean]

So that's why, like, I can't even, like, even I, I thought it was okay. I didn't, I didn't hate it, but it's like I chose to watch it.

[Carrie]

But then you don't have a choice if you're just seeing clips on Social.

[Jean]

That's, that's when you don't have a choice.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yes, yes, I believe that's, that's the ultimate no choice. Right. You scrolling and you don't have a choice. Like, damn, I see Katt Williams. What's Cat Williams doing? You might see your favorite comedian. I get that. But Netflix is still there a little bit. Not as much. You still gotta click on it. But if I'm on Netflix and I'm seeing like, all I do is watch rom coms, right? And I get suggestions from my rom coms, my TV shows, my Grey's Anatomies. I stay on that side. But right above it, it says roast. And I see Kevin Hart and I like recognize Kevin Hart as a person. Same thing with Tom Brady. I recognize Tom Brady as a person and I click on it. A lot of people don't know what they getting themselves into, even like a roast. If you hear and you get the concept of it, you don't know that people go that dark and they've always been that dark.

[Jean]

But you can also get yourself out of it, like with cop, like, oh,

[Patrick Johnson]

but you just said. But you just said that Tony had the thing and he was doing well until that joke.

[Jean]

Yeah. And then at that point, if I didn't want to watch any more from that point, I can just click backspace.

[Patrick Johnson]

But you heard it though.

[Jean]

I heard it.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying.

[Jean]

But I think, I think I'm okay hearing things I don't like as well and just kind of like moving on from that.

[Carrie]

I understand that everything is not going to be for me, but it's going to be for somebody else. And there's somebody out there who really likes dark humor. You know, it might be a fetish, I don't know, you know, like on the weird joke. Yeah, but I don't know, I just think some.

[Jean]

Some comedians use the dark humor as a mask, though. And that's the thing I don't like. It's like, try to be funny without, like, saying that type of joke. If I've seen you been funny, like, multiple ways, it's like, okay, now it's funny when you kind of do that, dark humor. But when you're just like, dark, dark, dark, dark, dark, dirty, it's just like, this is not humor anymore. Just how you feel.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, I start laughing, like, yeah, Especially if it's a comedian that does it way better than you. Yeah, it was like, okay. Shane Gillis is a dark humor person, and he kind of teeters on a lie of, like, racism. Right? And it's like, he didn't. He doesn't get as much backlash as Tony does. And it's like, oh, he tells his jokes better and he knows where is. Like, you can't go into certain deep waters. Like, why the do you have a. There's so many other jokes. There's so many other dead people. There's so many, like, bro, talk about your grandpa. Like, why the. You talking about George Floyd? Let's dig that up. No, I'm just saying, though. But that's dark humor to him, right? Let's take your granddad. It's just a joke. He can't say, bro. Oh, man. I guess we'll move on to more major news. Drake dropped the album just recently. And I just want to say this, just one. Well, he dropped three. Ice, ice, ice. It's just funny. Like, when people do or don't like an artist, what excuses they'll make or not make for that artist. Yeah, that's all it is. It's just like, you'll see somebody that's a super fan of Drake that you'd be like, this is why this is good. This is why this is good. And you see somebody. I don't like Drake to be like, this is why this is bad. And just like, bro, just shut up and press play.

[Jean]

Or don't.

[Patrick Johnson]

You know what I mean?

[Jean]

But that's the point of art, though. I think art is put out there, too. Especially when you put out art out into the public. It's like you have to expect the critique that comes with it. And the fanfare, too.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

I just feel like the algorithm messes with so much because people who probably don't even care about Drake like that or probably like to listen to them when they alone by themselves, don't talk the most crap about them on social Just for the likes and the clicks. Me engagement and that's so weird to me.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. I mean, you. You get clicks and likes for going either way too much. Like, I get, like. I feel like. I don't feel like I'm in the middle. I really, really like the album. But I also get on TikTok and I hear people, like, doing too much, and I feel like they're antagonizing the people that might not even listen to the album. You like, they like online, like, this album is better. The best album that's ever dropped in music history. And the nigga that's a Michael Jackson fan, like, nigga, shut your ass up. You know what I mean? Like, and it's just like, O Glove on.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Think he's my Take the glove off might be top five ever said now

[Jean]

it make it the title.

[Patrick Johnson]

Make that glove off.

[Jean]

Make the title.

[Patrick Johnson]

If I was Drake, that would be like the last straw. Like, I'm told me to take the glove off. I'm putting money on the head. Like, okay, that think I'm playing not. I really. I really with the album, I like

[Jean]

the Made of Honor better.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, made. I like Iceman better, I think.

[Jean]

I think just because the style of music I start to like a lot. Just like the. The. More like the.

[Carrie]

The girly pop.

[Jean]

It's kind of like the Jersey. Like, the Jersey type of music.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah.

[Jean]

And I like, really like the house music vibes. I always think when I hear those type of music, I just imagine myself in, like, places where that would be a vibe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something like that.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. Like, I'm telling you, vacation here. It. It all depends on where you at. Y. I think that's what we were talking about because, you know, people were talking about Drake is the king of beat switches and, like, switching the tempo. And there was a lot of songs where I. That's why I was mad at people coming out with, you know, their takes. With 17 minutes, it's 11:17 Central Time. You talking about the album week. The math ain't mad, but you got people. But like, I like. I like the album. But, like, when I first started with the album, it was only three songs I liked. I'm like. Then I went back through it, and I picked up another three songs, went back through it, and it's like, damn. Some of these songs I never gave a chance because I didn't like how it sounded in the first 10 seconds because I was so ready to jump to the other song. So a lot of people can't Take in that much information. We know that, though America read at a fourth grade level, so we already know.

[Jean]

It was interesting, too. I was discovering the same song I was listening to. I was discovering the second half the songs on the Internet, because I hear the second half the songs like, wait, what song was that one? They'd be like, oh, this was this one.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

I definitely think Drake has a pocket, and now he likes to kind of stick to that pocket or he knows what works. And all the people who are hating on him right now who don't like the music, y' all still gonna be playing it in Miami. Y' all still gonna be playing in y' all cars. When it's like, exactly.

[Jean]

When you run the girl. When you run the girls. We gotta chill on the captions, though.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Patrick Johnson]

Also, yes. The caption's crazy. And like, okay, listen, we all got about, like, six days with. With the story post in the music. Okay, I'm participating right now. But after six days, let's start to sprinkle it in. You know what I'm saying? We all can't be using the same song. I'm not trying to.

[Jean]

We all have the same caption. We got to spread it out.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm not trying to be like, the certain demographic that play everything. Hallelujah. Let's not do that with our Drake songs. You know what I'm saying? Let's spread it out a little bit. It was funny because, like, a lot of people also had. I'm talking about the people that had bad opinions about it super quick. And then, like, if you ask, like, a non Drake fan what's his best album, they. They have to say take care. Right? They have to, like, even if they hate on them, they have to say take care. And Drake actually posted some of the comments to when Take Care first popped out, and it was like, oh, this this too much. You doing too much. This not it. This not it. Like, I don't like the tempo of this beat, the tempo of that. And then just like, you gotta wait, bro. Every album, you gotta wait. There's so many albums I listen to when I' this shit is great. And then I'm deleting it from my album Music two weeks later. Like, what the fuck did I download?

[Jean]

I think I said the same thing about Non Stop, the song where I didn't like it at first until I heard it outside. And I was like, okay, this is it. This goes.

[Patrick Johnson]

And I like to be different too. If I see too many people, like, my first album, scroll through. Shebang like, probably everybody in history heard that beat and was like, I love it, and I love the song.

[Jean]

I didn't like it at first.

[Patrick Johnson]

At first, okay? I ran to the Internet, like, hey, they probably don't even know about shebang. The next 20 videos is like, you know, dancing to shebang. And now shebang lowered on my list because I like to be different. You know what I'm saying? I don't want you to know the words of my favorite song. So now I gotta go pick a different song.

[Jean]

All right, I got a question for you guys. All right? If you. Your friend has a picture, right, and you like it, and then you want to comment on it, if there's already eight different people that left, just fire emojis under the picture, should you leave a different emoji? Yes.

[Patrick Johnson]

Are you his best friend?

[Jean]

That's your boy.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's your boy. Nah, I think you gotta. I think you gotta bow out. You gotta do something different. Yeah, you gotta post it on your story. You know what I'm saying? Like, you can't, like, even. There's nothing you can do. You can't even comment. You know what I'm saying? You gotta post it on your story. Matter of fact, let me collab with this. It's a picture of the nigga and his mama. Let me collab with y', all, bro,

[Jean]

I've gotten the most random collabs before. Like, it has nothing to do with me. I'm like, I'm not in any of these pictures. I got tagged. I got mentioned in a story of a guy on a boat. He panned women on the boat, and I'm tagged. And I was like, why am I tagged?

[Carrie]

He want to make sure you see the

[Caller/Guest]

light.

[Patrick Johnson]

It was a part of the boat that it didn't go to. Come on.

[Caller/Guest]

Now.

[Patrick Johnson]

Then he gonna ask me. He was like, bro, did you get invited to the boat, too? No.

[Jean]

Did you get mentioned in this, too?

[Patrick Johnson]

A rat. But look, weird as it was, it was late as hell, too. I think it was like, 11. I get a text from Mike. He talking about, bro, did you get invited to that bow party with all the women on it?

[Jean]

I did not say that.

[Patrick Johnson]

Why the would I get invited or something like that?

[Jean]

I said, did you. I said, did he mention you in this, too?

[Caller/Guest]

You.

[Patrick Johnson]

Why would you text me that, though?

[Jean]

Because I got mentioned.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's so.

[Jean]

Like, I might have thought it was like a you. A. A you thing, you know?

[Patrick Johnson]

I mean, I was just chilling, you know? I'm saying I'm watching A movie. I get a text message from my boy.

[Jean]

Hey, bro, I think you watch the story, too.

[Patrick Johnson]

Go to the story. Be vague. Go to the story. Tell me what you see. You click on your boy's story and it's. Oh, damn.

[Jean]

Just beat the name. Just beat the name. I didn't want to make a big deal.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's a big deal. No, that. I don't want nobody looking at his. Please, please. I might be on it one day. Okay.

[Jean]

Oh, I had a. I had one tweet go ahead. For us, for a sex worker, is it a good client or is a good client the one that who well or the one who badly.

[Patrick Johnson]

Are you asking us?

[Carrie]

I have an experience.

[Jean]

It was just an interesting concept because I was seeing the comments under it saying, like. Like women saying it, you know, one way or another. Because some of them would rather, I guess, it be fast and bad.

[Patrick Johnson]

I've been. I've been in situations. I've heard of people. I heard through the grapevine, I heard of people's situations. My girls started watching.

[Jean]

Hey, it's like, how many minutes? We're 26 minutes in.

[Patrick Johnson]

No. Okay.

[Jean]

Yeah, wait, hold on.

[Patrick Johnson]

Let me get rid of her.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Sports, sports, sports. Lamar Jackson, Pat Mahomes. You think he coming back?

[Jean]

LeBron or Michael Jordan?

[Patrick Johnson]

I don't know. It's the championships versus the accolades. It might be down tonight. Remember, check your alternator. Okay. Got rid of it, ladies. But what was I saying?

[Jean]

I said. You said from experience.

[Patrick Johnson]

I done flustered my own brain.

[Jean]

I got myself.

[Patrick Johnson]

I had to myself up.

[Carrie]

What is your sex worker experience?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, no, no, no, no. Oh, damn. That's what I said. No, but I would say I was about to bring it back to strippers. Okay, so not sex workers. I was going to bring it back to strippers just for the analogies. I've, like, seen. I've like, known strippers that I've heard say, like, they just rather the guy not know, like, how to be in a strip club. Get what I'm saying? They rather like, get a newbie that don't know what they doing. They don't really care if the guy looks good or if the guy. They just want to like the money. You know what I'm saying?

[Jean]

And they feel like they don't have to do as much to. To get him there. Yeah, but whatever he's looking for. Yeah, yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

I don't. I really don't know. It's just like, how many people are sex workers because they love sex?

[Carrie]

I don't know.

[Jean]

Yeah. There are. I'm pretty sure there has to be, right?

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, there has to be.

[Jean]

But there's also a billion dollar market. Like, just like the sex in general.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, trillion.

[Jean]

Yeah, a trillion.

[Patrick Johnson]

Trillion.

[Jean]

So it's just like.

[Patrick Johnson]

I mean, people in relationships paying for sex. Yeah. Vice versa.

[Jean]

Yeah. So I think it's like, for some of them, it might be easy. Any sex workers in that watch? Yeah, I know there's a couple.

[Caller/Guest]

Y'. All.

[Patrick Johnson]

Actually, we got the show, and by the numbers we have to have.

[Jean]

No, there was a few that said they were sex workers.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, no, no, they never. We never had that.

[Jean]

No, there was a few that said

[Patrick Johnson]

we never had that.

[Jean]

That in the dms.

[Patrick Johnson]

No. Yeah, we never had that.

[Caller/Guest]

What?

[Patrick Johnson]

What the are you talking about?

[Jean]

Shay Gil just want mvp.

[Patrick Johnson]

Damn Chefs. God damn.

[Caller/Guest]

Yo, can you hear me? Yeah, yeah.

[Jean]

Can you hear us?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jean]

How's it going, man?

[Caller/Guest]

Going good, bro. Damn, my first time on the pod.

[Jean]

Welcome, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

Welcome, welcome. Nice.

[Jean]

I got a question for you. What's your psa?

[Caller/Guest]

All right, man. My PSA is I found a method, if you're. If you're a girl, into pegging. I found a method for the guys to. To, you know, block that. You know, get that out of here.

[Patrick Johnson]

To block it.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Patrick Johnson]

So, I mean, it is trying to go in your hole. So I guess it's a block.

[Caller/Guest]

Gotcha. So first of all, let me explain. So, like, me and my girl were just talking, and she just randomly brought it up. She's like, how would you feel, you know, pegging? I was like, yo, hey, yo. And, you know, I came up with a what a wild. As a response. I know Pat gonna say something about this, but I was like, if you gotta peg me, you gotta eat it first.

[Patrick Johnson]

I wouldn't call that block. When we're in basketball terms, I call it an alley. Oop, maybe.

[Jean]

Or in sexual terms, I'll just call that foreplay. She got eat it first. So you want her to lube you up then? Basically.

[Caller/Guest]

Nah, nah, because I know. I knew. I knew she wasn't gonna do it, but, you know.

[Patrick Johnson]

But you never thought. You never thought she was gonna peg you either?

[Caller/Guest]

It's not that.

[Jean]

I just.

[Caller/Guest]

In my head, I was like, I gotta out freak her.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay. Before we get up, before we get on you. Are you saying this because it's only because you know she'll never say it, or is that something that you will require as a trade?

[Caller/Guest]

Nah, I. I know, because she would never do it.

[Patrick Johnson]

But what if she does it?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, man. I'm.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yes, you are. All right.

[Jean]

I mean, like, why can't you just tell her no?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, no, no, no, no. That's not the question. Why is this telling us?

[Jean]

That's the other. It's a. It's his psa.

[Caller/Guest]

Because for all my other dudes out there, bro, like, I can't tell, bro. I can't tell him.

[Jean]

How do you know? This is like an epidemic that's going on right now.

[Caller/Guest]

Because I listen to the pod, bro. Like, do you got. Yo, y'. All. Y' all got some freaky calls.

[Jean]

Yeah, but the. That be saying that on the pod, they actually want to do it, literally.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, you know what? You're right about that. You're right.

[Jean]

Why. Why can't you tell her no, though?

[Patrick Johnson]

He said, you're right.

[Caller/Guest]

No, because I told her no. But she was like, bro. She was like, I'm gonna do it anyways. I was like, yo, you gotta chill, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

I think you got a bigger problem. Does she own something like that already or is this just all hypothetical talk?

[Caller/Guest]

Nah, it's all hypothetical. She ain't got nothing like that.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, where are y' all when y' all have these conversations? That's my question.

[Caller/Guest]

No, it would be like, sometimes just like, I guess, like, when we going somewhere, it'll be like, you know, talk in the car on the way there. Like, it'll be like just the random.

[Patrick Johnson]

Just small. She's trying to peg you before y' all go to Marshalls.

[Jean]

I'm trying to see how big of the jump of freakiness is happening right now. So has she ever proposed something, like, less freaky in the bedroom or. This is, like, the first time she's ever talked about experiences she wants to have in the bedroom.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, I think I low key. I think she's gotten, like, this freaky ideas because I put her onto the pod and when she's been listening to, like, don't blame us.

[Jean]

Hey, don't do that. No, don't do that, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, we didn't.

[Jean]

Maybe this is freaky, but I would say that also.

[Patrick Johnson]

Also, like, hearing people talk about something does not, like, introduce something sexually. Like, if some. Nobody's coming to a podcast, a comedy podcast at that, and then taking it away, like, oh, I want to peg my boyfriend. It has be something you're giving off to her. Like, there's is nothing to do with us. Like, you must be tooting that thing up in front of.

[Caller/Guest]

I give nothing off to her. I don't know what it is.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, you you let her. Hey, you let her play in your ass, and then now you wondering why she want to pay. Come on, man. No, bro, don't be no nasty here, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

No, never. That. I would not. I would never.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, he trembling.

[Jean]

I thought his method was going to be like swiping it away or something.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, he talking about. No, he talking about. No get it wet first, baby.

[Jean]

As I was saying.

[Patrick Johnson]

What the.

[Jean]

All right, bro. You have a good one, man.

[Patrick Johnson]

Chili dog, go ahead.

[Caller/Guest]

When y' all gonna. When y' all gonna be in Cali for your tour this fall? All right. For sure.

[Jean]

You'll know the dates, you know the

[Patrick Johnson]

days, man, just make sure you wash your hands before you.

[Jean]

All right?

[Caller/Guest]

All right. Y' all got a good one.

[Jean]

You, too.

[Caller/Guest]

Hello.

[Jean]

Hello.

[Patrick Johnson]

What up?

[Caller/Guest]

Hi.

[Patrick Johnson]

What it do? Hey,

[Jean]

what's your psa?

[Caller/Guest]

My PSA is all of these cinder fellas. Ass men need to stop wearing all these sparkly clothes. They already shine their bright like diamonds.

[Jean]

You said cinder fellas?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Jean]

Interesting. What's.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, like what? Can you explain what clothes you're talking about?

[Caller/Guest]

Be the baddest women in the room. They in the club, standing on couches with their tutus on and they. And they sparkly outfits.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay, okay, what? Like, what do you want them to

[Caller/Guest]

get back to all them tight clothes? The pants be tighter than mine get. I'm not saying, you know, wear something, you know, like, soldier. What? We're back in the day. But, you know, can we at least try? What.

[Patrick Johnson]

What's the dress code, though? What you think we need advice?

[Caller/Guest]

Not. Not bad, I can tell you that.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay. You got a man.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't, but that's why, cuz they out here looking better than me. Ready? That's kind of crazy.

[Jean]

So you don't like any bedazzle? Like, what's these? Like some subtle bedazzle? Because I got some shirts with some subtle bedazzle on it.

[Caller/Guest]

What's subtle? Like two, three.

[Jean]

Like, maybe, like if I. I think I have a shirt with a SC on it that has.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's bedazzled out.

[Jean]

You think so? Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Hell yeah.

[Jean]

Two, three.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, we. We all wear bedazzles on this pod. Like as. As.

[Caller/Guest]

So I watch all on YouTube. No, y' all don't.

[Patrick Johnson]

I got a pair of pants that look like a disco ball.

[Caller/Guest]

I ain't.

[Carrie]

No.

[Patrick Johnson]

I got some bedazzled.

[Caller/Guest]

You better wear them shoes. You better wear it in private.

[Patrick Johnson]

Not private, but I won't wear it to a club or nothing. But I will wear a bedazzled shirt if I like it. Not all the way bedazzled.

[Jean]

I have been wearing. I have been wearing less bedazzled stuff, though. Like, a lot less. Like, probably haven't wore one in a while because it is. Some of them are getting a little too much. Like. Yeah, as I'm. As I'm getting up there in my 30s.

[Caller/Guest]

I seen it. Yeah, no, that's the problem. Once you hit that 30. Really? I would say like 20. They like 20s them. 30 marks. All right, now, no, let's.

[Carrie]

Let's.

[Caller/Guest]

Let's calm down. Get you a regular T shirt.

[Jean]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

Two, three. But that's all I could do for you. The whole shirt you got, you buy your little graphic shot. They got the grill.

[Jean]

But what is the bedazzle are actually diamonds, though.

[Patrick Johnson]

She said the snowman with the chains.

[Caller/Guest]

No, I don't care. Instead. Why. Why do you want that?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, we got them.

[Caller/Guest]

We're both gonna be bad. We're both gonna be at the club shining party. Like.

[Jean]

Yeah, why don't we be seeing girls wearing bedazzled stuff like that at all?

[Patrick Johnson]

Nah, you the bedazzle boss.

[Caller/Guest]

Exactly. Two to three bedazzles, max. Anything more than two, you're not coming in the club.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay. What you. Okay, let's say scenario. We all going out to the club. What you wearing?

[Caller/Guest]

I would wear us. I wear a dress. I don't know. Depending on the vibe. A dress or skirt.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. What color? What colors? What are the colors at?

[Caller/Guest]

It don't matter about the color. The color doesn't matter.

[Patrick Johnson]

You wearing all black. That's that masculine stuff we talking about.

[Caller/Guest]

Fellas.

[Patrick Johnson]

Stop flap flat. But you just gotta let everybody wear what they want. And then it's even better for you. You won't ever run into a dude that you don't want because, like, you'll be able to tell right away. Like bedazzles, they ain't even a dude for you. You know what I'm saying?

[Caller/Guest]

But okay, no, no, no, because I ran. I see. I'm a truck driver. I ran into one at a truck stop. Almost shot the fuck out of me buying my old school.

[Jean]

Okay, so if you're dating a guy, right, and everything's. Everything's going well, you guys are been talking for like three months and, like, it's going really good.

[Patrick Johnson]

Been on dates, right?

[Jean]

Dates. And like that basically damn near your boyfriend, and then he shows up to a date in a bedazzled button up. What are you doing then? Are you ending it there? Because of the bedazzle or do you continue dating?

[Caller/Guest]

Like, it's full all but that.

[Jean]

Yeah, yeah, like all bedazzle.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, this look good. It look good, though. They ain't no crazy.

[Jean]

Let's go ball.

[Patrick Johnson]

And it cost two babies.

[Caller/Guest]

No, I got sick. I gotta go.

[Jean]

We would end the relationship just because of that.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm gonna get sick. We gotta go home. We gotta leave the function. Why would you do that?

[Patrick Johnson]

What shoes you wearing to the date?

[Caller/Guest]

Probably heels.

[Jean]

No wedges. No wedges, no dunks.

[Patrick Johnson]

Not a heel. The heels in the dress. You right. You deserve. You deserve. No bedazzle. You right. You gotta write.

[Jean]

We don't know what she deserves.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, no, no, no, no, no. You deserve. No, she literally deserve everything. First of all. First of all, happy international woman century. She literally drive a truck and wear heels. How many likers she. One on one, rare. Come on, pop your sis.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Jean]

Appreciate you.

[Caller/Guest]

Thank y'. All. Have a good day.

[Patrick Johnson]

You too. Period. Yo, what's the word, bird?

[Caller/Guest]

What's the word?

[Jean]

What it do? What it do? Welcome to Craftsman's Podcast, man.

[Caller/Guest]

What up? What up?

[Jean]

All right. What's your psa?

[Caller/Guest]

My PSA is couples need to stop going to the club together.

[Jean]

Okay. Okay.

[Patrick Johnson]

Why you say that?

[Caller/Guest]

I feel like that's like clubbing and going out. That's not a. A. A relationship thing. That's not something people in relationships should be doing.

[Jean]

So you, like, on the. You know, you got a girl?

[Caller/Guest]

No.

[Jean]

Okay.

[Patrick Johnson]

Basically. Basically, you. Basically, you tired of seeing girls there, and then you walk up to them and they like, oh, I got a boyfriend. He right over there. No, no, no.

[Caller/Guest]

Because you could already peep that. It's the. It's the fact, just seeing him there, like. Like, why are they here? What's here for them?

[Patrick Johnson]

You know when the last time you've been in a relationship?

[Caller/Guest]

Last year.

[Patrick Johnson]

Last year, you and your girl never went out?

[Caller/Guest]

We did go out.

[Patrick Johnson]

Where y' all meet?

[Caller/Guest]

Like, we met through, like, mutuals.

[Patrick Johnson]

Did y' all go to the club?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, we went out, like, once or twice.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, that wasn't fun to you?

[Caller/Guest]

It wasn't. Because I just feel like everybody was looking at my.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, that's where he lost her. That's your first problem right there.

[Caller/Guest]

Like, she was bad. I just feel like everybody wanted my. You know.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, that's like. You know, that's called being insecure.

[Jean]

Hey, but you know that, you know, they'll. They'll want her more when you're not there.

[Caller/Guest]

Right? And that's why we're not together because

[Patrick Johnson]

she gotta want them back.

[Jean]

Because I'm saying that in a sense that you said you. They shouldn't go to a club together. So if you're in a relationship with a girl, right, and are you letting her go to the club by herself, then are you okay with it?

[Caller/Guest]

No, I'm saying if you're in a relationship, you shouldn't be going to the club, period. Like, with her or without her.

[Patrick Johnson]

Oh, this is just like. So this is not even a thing about you being in the club with people in a relationship. This about you not wanting women in the club who in a relationship because you insecure. So, like, you don't want your girl in a club

[Caller/Guest]

type.

[Jean]

So when you're in a relationship so you don't go to clubs no more?

[Patrick Johnson]

Not really.

[Caller/Guest]

Like, I. I'll usually.

[Jean]

That's.

[Caller/Guest]

That's. That's when I do, like movies and restaurants.

[Jean]

No, I feel it. I would say it's not a bad thing for you to say. Like, you don't want to date a girl. That, that, that's always in the club and stuff like that. That's just your preference. So your preference is your preference. But once you get somebody, those the

[Caller/Guest]

type of girls you want to see

[Patrick Johnson]

when you go to the club. Okay, I'm trying to.

[Jean]

I'm trying to cop a plea for you, brother.

[Patrick Johnson]

He like, he keep cosplaying is like broken heart, lover boy. And like, I want to see the girls in a club. Like, which one? Pick a side.

[Jean]

Either you super red pill or not.

[Patrick Johnson]

You said what two.

[Caller/Guest]

Two things could be true at once?

[Patrick Johnson]

Nah, bro, you gotta pick a side. That's your problem, bro. Pick a side. You want this to stop over here and this to start over here, and you just want to control everything. You ain't got no girl.

[Caller/Guest]

No, I just never heard. I just never heard of no having a good time in the club, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

I do all the time, bro. Like what? Like what the are you doing with your girl? Y' all arguing or some y' all going through each other?

[Caller/Guest]

That's what I've seen. I've seen that I've seen. I'm 27.

[Patrick Johnson]

How taller you. He said 27.

[Jean]

27. Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm 62.

[Patrick Johnson]

Oh, no. Why can we always tell when somebody lying? It don't even say I'm a cool.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm a cool 57.

[Patrick Johnson]

There we go, the up part.

[Caller/Guest]

When he says 35.

[Carrie]

7.

[Patrick Johnson]

It's like when he says 62. It sounds like he never says 62 in his life. Like, he just put those two numbers together for the first time. Say six, too. What the.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, me? Yeah. I had to. I had to. I had to dig deep for that.

[Patrick Johnson]

He went from starting two guard to back up point guard, quickest.

[Caller/Guest]

I got bunnies, though.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's good, man. Just get the second unit going. That's all we ask.

[Caller/Guest]

You need. Y', all, every team need that energy off.

[Patrick Johnson]

Check in, taking charges and.

[Jean]

All right, bro. Yeah, Go.

[Patrick Johnson]

All right, try to the start point guard and file trouble.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yo, what's the word, brother?

[Caller/Guest]

What up, bro? What y' all on?

[Patrick Johnson]

Welcome to cdp, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, I'm a. I'm a regular here. Y' all have my brother on a minute ago, talking about. Would you. Yeah, it was a talking about, would you cheat on your girl for a thousand dollars up to 500? He said, yeah, bro. They engaged now, actually,

[Patrick Johnson]

Man, I ain't gonna lie. We take so many callers, bro. We don't remember that. But. But hold on. Let me. Let me act like I remember. Hell, no. That's crazy. Remember that, Mike?

[Jean]

They married now.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's crazy.

[Caller/Guest]

I just got back from his. But I just got back from his bachelor party, actually. That's what. I'm in the airport right now.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's one of my. Our most memorable calls, bro.

[Jean]

Like, all right, bro, what's your psa, man?

[Caller/Guest]

Bro, I ain't gonna lie. I'll be dropping terrible dick. I'll be dropping terrible dick. Hit me so bad.

[Jean]

So that's your public service announcement.

[Patrick Johnson]

What a change,

[Caller/Guest]

bro. Bro, it'd just be terrible. I'd be dropping bad dick on these hoes. And, like, I be thinking, I'm gonna get a call back, too, after is my problem. And I know it's bad.

[Jean]

Like, how are you? How are they? Like, bad. Like, how do you know they're bad?

[Caller/Guest]

But I got bad hips. I'd be sitting doing missionary for, like, 10 minutes, cramping. I'm like, bro, what am I doing?

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm all right. You the stomach to stomach type of.

[Caller/Guest]

See, my problem is, though, I'm into, like, the real freaky with it. Like, the real freaky. But then, like, you know, yeah, it's just bad dick. Everything else cool. Like, I'll eat your ass. You greet my ass.

[Jean]

But, like, you said that way, very casually. Did not. Oh, no, you. We just said this.

[Patrick Johnson]

Wait, what the.

[Caller/Guest]

Did he just say you never had your box tapped? You never had your box licked?

[Patrick Johnson]

Your box licked. Box lick.

[Jean]

This is.

[Patrick Johnson]

You gave yourself a box.

[Caller/Guest]

You gotta call it the box Bro, you gotta call it the Box.

[Patrick Johnson]

I've never heard that before. I swear to God.

[Caller/Guest]

See, if y' all post this, my. Everyone that know me gonna hear like, is that you? I'm like, yeah, yeah. You know how I get down.

[Patrick Johnson]

Whoa, whoa. Oh. This is like a known thing.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

What was he his original name? Oh, so. So, like, what? So, like, how do you like all this freaky stuff? And you can't do no freaky stuff. You got bad hips, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

I got bad. I played college football, niggas. Hips is bad. I just be sitting here trying. I like the Little Engine that Wish he could. And it should be horrible, too. Like, I know it'd be bad as, like, a girl.

[Jean]

Told you this, though. Are you just kind of going based on.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. So my brother's fiance, actually.

[Jean]

Crazy way to start a sentence. How are you getting reviews on your terrible dick? Go ahead.

[Caller/Guest]

My brother's fiance, I. Her best friend, she straight up said the foreplay is a 10 out of 10. The dick was horrible. I said, damn.

[Patrick Johnson]

Said foreplay.

[Jean]

At least you're getting the. The reports back.

[Caller/Guest]

She said it was like a 3 out of 10, bro. I was like. I was like, that's a horrible. I'm just giving out bad links.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's. Hey, man.

[Jean]

Or you guys just work on it, bro?

[Caller/Guest]

Nah, I accepted it at this point. It's kind of my personality. I've just been giving up bad dicks.

[Jean]

So are you in a relationship now,

[Caller/Guest]

man? That's loaded as hell. Kind of, I guess, maybe.

[Patrick Johnson]

What? What? Like what? Explain that situation.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my relationship?

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, we should already known that she was in a dicey situation by the way you even talking, because it's like, there's no way you can keep a woman with the way you talking.

[Caller/Guest]

But go ahead, bro. I can know. That's the problem. That's the problem. I keep, like, three, four bad. I just can't commit. That's my problem.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

Like, they'd be hella cool, though, because they know I brought that dick, and they'd be, like, real comfortable with the bad dick. Like, no, it's not like that. It's good. I'm like, like, damn, you really a good girl, huh?

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, man. You ever heard of a, like, a therapist or something?

[Jean]

It's just.

[Caller/Guest]

I don't believe that.

[Jean]

It's just like, why don't you just, like, actually just commit to a girl then if you, like, if you already know you're bad at something and why are you trying to overachieve with three people.

[Caller/Guest]

Damn. Y' all really want to get into. This is crazy. So, bro, I was in college, right? Met this girl, Bam. First girl actually ate my ass, bro. First girl ever, okay? Was ready to marry this Bam. I'm talking to her about it. Talk to her daddy. It's gonna get crazy.

[Patrick Johnson]

I can't keep talking to this dog.

[Caller/Guest]

He just straight up go, oh, no, my daughter ain't marrying a black man. What? Oh, yeah, bro, I can't commit.

[Patrick Johnson]

I wish you would have never told nobody he was black, bro. That's like, some info. Let's bleep that out. Come on, man. Man, we trying to move. Trying to move. Trying to move the culture forward, man. Yeah, they got retired police dog hips.

[Caller/Guest]

Not as crazy,

[Patrick Johnson]

all right.

[Caller/Guest]

Police dog is despicable.

[Jean]

Yeah, yeah. All right, bro. Go stress.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, n. No, we ain't doing. Hello.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yo, what's the word? Welcome to Crash Podcast.

[Caller/Guest]

What's up, fellas?

[Patrick Johnson]

Let's go.

[Caller/Guest]

You rushing me, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

I got a question for you, bro. I was just trying to get you hyped because you sounded kind of bland.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm about to say, like, you was supposed to ask me the question first, bro. I know how this go, man.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, turn it up. All right, all right. But what's something that breaks your heart to say but you have no choice?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, man, a couple weeks ago, I had one out. Had met the. An amazing girl. Bro, I'm talking about amazing, beautiful. You know what I'm saying? Great energy. All type of got the number, feel me? The little energy. The first, probably what? We set up a date. She couldn't make it. Had like an appointment or something. Like, okay, cool. I'm like, all right. So any business, just let me know when you free. A week went by, nothing. Two weeks went by. I'm like, all right. Three weeks went by, like, okay. So started goddamn, you know what I'm saying? Outsourcing for goddamn, like, council, I guess you could say. Yeah. I need to, like, help. Did I double texted or not? It was like, yeah, if you really like her. Oh, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. We don't call on Crash 3 podcasts.

[Patrick Johnson]

We don't.

[Carrie]

We don't.

[Patrick Johnson]

Thank you.

[Caller/Guest]

Really like this woman. You should. You should, you know, say, try a little harder. I'm like, all right, bro, it's against this. Against what? I. You know, I'm saying what I stand for, but I'll do it because I do like her. Cool. Reached out again. I was like, everything just really just Slowed down. Like, I'm just like, ah. I'm not getting the same energy back. What is this? And then I got ghosted. I guess it was. It was a dog.

[Patrick Johnson]

But then you get ghosted the first time. Wasn't it like.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, yeah, three weeks, I got double ghosted.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, you got triple ghosts. I say like a week is ghosting. Like, especially after having something with somebody and they not telling you why. Then two weeks, double ghosting, three weeks, triple ghosting. Then you went back four weeks total. Ghosted.

[Caller/Guest]

No, but it was really three weeks, bro. Because I texted on the third.

[Jean]

That's just part of the game. You just called for some simple.

[Patrick Johnson]

That boy just went diamond and ghosting got a hit record.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, man, happens to the best of it, don't it?

[Patrick Johnson]

I hate them. But the other thing I do. Okay, I want to say this. I hate when people say stuff like this is ghosting, right? Just because somebody has like a hard time telling you something, maybe they see that you wouldn't have took it. Good, because you can't even understand, like the little one week break. You should have got the hint.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, like I said, I definitely got the hint, but I outsourced. I'm like, how you get the hand?

[Patrick Johnson]

And then you told me, try again. Who told you to try again?

[Caller/Guest]

My sister.

[Patrick Johnson]

Try again.

[Caller/Guest]

You got sisters? Like, yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

How does. Don't correlate me with no, like that. You got sister too. I'm saying like, bro, try again. Don't make sense. After somebody didn't talk to you for three weeks. And that's like the most pitiful advice you can get. She did not give a. Yeah, your sister must have. No, like, damn, I can't believe she

[Jean]

went out with you.

[Patrick Johnson]

Try again.

[Jean]

Does. Does the girl. Does she have like mutual friends at all?

[Caller/Guest]

No, I met her like, just at an outing.

[Patrick Johnson]

How did you get her number?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, like, I danced with the girl all night. Like, we was vibing. Like by the end of the night.

[Patrick Johnson]

Was it dark in there?

[Caller/Guest]

Front of the club. Oh, I ain't ugly. The.

[Patrick Johnson]

I just asked was it dark. Look, there you go. Now I gotta check your profile picture.

[Caller/Guest]

Ask ugly.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm just saying, was it dark? I'm just saying, like, I'm. I just asked what type of club it was. Now we got to check your profile picture.

[Caller/Guest]

I know game like, go ahead, take a look.

[Patrick Johnson]

Go ahead, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

Go ahead though, man. It's been a minute since I've been on the pod, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, no, no. You good, bro. Nobody said you was Ugly, bro, I know.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm not.

[Patrick Johnson]

I was just trying to. I'm just trying to get the. Like. Do y' all know each other? Have y' all seen each other in the light?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, yeah, bro. Like I said, right in the night, we were sitting out front of the club. I'm kissing on her shoulders, and I'm thinking is immaculate.

[Jean]

Wait, okay, okay, okay. So after the club, you never saw her again?

[Caller/Guest]

Never seen her again, bro, what the

[Jean]

Is this talking about?

[Patrick Johnson]

She got. Bro, she married, bro. She got a family.

[Jean]

It's a regular ass.

[Patrick Johnson]

She wanted to have fun. Some women do. Just.

[Jean]

You were fun for the night. Probably, yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Just. Just like, man, I ain't gonna hold you, though.

[Caller/Guest]

I ain't gonna hold you, though. I'm low key. The nightlight, bro, I ain't. How old are you indulging that too much?

[Patrick Johnson]

How are you? Six, but 26. Oh, welcome to the game, Little ball up. Man, I'm telling you, like, if you worried about getting ghosted, you do not get a number at a club. Like, women give their number away at a club for sport. Like, bro, this is a. This is a game. They might kiss you.

[Jean]

They might.

[Patrick Johnson]

Bruh. They literally might hang with you the whole night. They might introduce you to their whole section. But when they wake up in the morning, they're going home to their husband and three kids. They done you just a little. You're just a little young.

[Jean]

Did you buy her a drink, boy?

[Patrick Johnson]

You know what I'm saying? They have fun with.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, I did. It was just one drink first.

[Jean]

You said what?

[Caller/Guest]

Somebody bought her a drink first.

[Patrick Johnson]

He wasn't the first.

[Jean]

Okay, bro, it was just a one night thing, bro. I don't even count that as ghosting.

[Caller/Guest]

I get it now.

[Jean]

If you're.

[Caller/Guest]

I get it now.

[Jean]

Like, if I. I was thinking, y' all went on multiple dates after that, and then she ghosted you. That was just one night at the club.

[Patrick Johnson]

Are you saying he get it now? He just needed.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, yeah, like I said, I'm new to the. Bro, I didn't know that's how it works.

[Jean]

Your sister should have told you this, not us, man.

[Patrick Johnson]

How old is your sister?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, was she 29?

[Jean]

20?

[Patrick Johnson]

Is she married?

[Caller/Guest]

She definitely said, girls be fine in life, like club boyfriends and. But I'm like, I ain't think it

[Patrick Johnson]

would be like, yeah, your sister know? She. She knew. She just didn't want to break your heart. She like, damn, my brother just got ghosted. That girl played him trying to text

[Jean]

A girl three weeks after you met her once at the club is crazy.

[Patrick Johnson]

Hey, you should have text her at s on Saturday when you knew she was going out to the club again. She might have ran it back with you, bro. That's your best bet. Not going to get her in the daylight, though. She a vampire. He been trying to go to the same club, and at the same time, he standing in the same spot. She right.

[Jean]

It went there Saturday. Same fit. He's like, I didn't see her.

[Patrick Johnson]

And I bet you his. I bet you his ass got a modelo in his hand with a line. Talk about where she at.

[Jean]

Did that little Drake thing.

[Patrick Johnson]

Where she at?

[Caller/Guest]

Chill on me, bro. I told y', all, I'm lowkey. A late bloomer, bro.

[Jean]

Like n. Bro, that is just common sense.

[Patrick Johnson]

You know, you gotta. Yeah, you gota do.

[Jean]

Yes. After three weeks, I get it. After the first time, you know, know you. She was. Might have been a vibe you guys might have been vibing out the first week you trying to text her and like that. But after the first week, bro, it's. It's raps, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

Bro, he got it.

[Jean]

He.

[Patrick Johnson]

He understands now people like, actually like, next time you appreciate Eugene, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

Like, you see what I'm saying? I need a little bit of sincerity, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You need some tough love.

[Jean]

Your sister was being sincere. Look what that got you three weeks after.

[Patrick Johnson]

Come on, man.

[Jean]

Come on now.

[Patrick Johnson]

You almost

[Caller/Guest]

boy two said the same.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. Talking about outsourcing, just. Hey, how many people in your crew that you hang out with that you would go to the club with?

[Caller/Guest]

Respectfully, I really just go to club. My cousin, bro. But.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay, but.

[Caller/Guest]

Police officer. So you don't be having too much free time.

[Patrick Johnson]

Oh, okay. Fighting crime.

[Jean]

And

[Patrick Johnson]

he said that like that. He Batman. Okay, but. Okay, but. But what I'm trying to tell you is, like, you just ain't got nobody in your inner circle to like, help you out. So maybe instead of like, outsourcing, trying to find out what she doing, you need to like, outsource and try to get ahead of this nightlife. You don't just jump into no nightlife and try to figure out the yourself. Just go ask somebody some advice, you know what I'm saying? Especially don't go to your sister. She don't know what the she talking about. My lord.

[Caller/Guest]

And I was telling her that too. Like, we was arguing and I'm telling her like, bro, a male's pov like, why the am I trying again? I gave you the opportunity to hit me back.

[Jean]

The club is.

[Caller/Guest]

Then she, like. She said, some, like, girls run into a lot of foot. You should try to prove that you really like her.

[Jean]

And I'm like, bro, I get it, but she working.

[Patrick Johnson]

She working for the other team. She's a city girl for sure.

[Jean]

The thing also. Also being at clubs, the music is very loud, so you're basically whispering in her ear and telling her. And all she doing has been nodding the whole night, like, yup, yup, yup. Not understanding anything that you probably. Probably like any information you might have provided.

[Caller/Guest]

Y. Like, we had really. We had real best.

[Jean]

What y. What y' all talk about? What was the one thing? What. What's one thing you learned about her that night?

[Caller/Guest]

She got three brothers, baby.

[Patrick Johnson]

Can you help me? Baby, can you help me? You see how dumb that sound? You trying to talk about your brothers and sisters. Boston Richie Pan in the background, like, don't make sense, man. Like, what the Are you like that? It don't make no sense, bro. That's you, bro. I'm trying to help you out.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm like. I said, bro, I get it.

[Patrick Johnson]

Tw like, no, I feel it, bro. Okay, what's your new approach? What you gonna do next time?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, like I said, I really had success. My first go around. This. The second go around. First go around. Shy took my number.

[Jean]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

So that's what I'm just gonna go and.

[Jean]

Did you. Did you guys. What happened after she took your number? Did she hit you up?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, I ended up hitting that. Yeah. I ended up hitting that. Okay.

[Patrick Johnson]

Is that the goal, though?

[Jean]

Is that all you wanted, right?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, nah, I'm actually looking for a relationship right now. That's why I was. Got

[Patrick Johnson]

the first thing right. It's. First of all, it's a club, and then the first thing you tell us is that you hit it. You ain't say, like, how the relationship went or what happened. So you just.

[Caller/Guest]

What you talking about the first girl?

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm just saying, you throwing us off of what you want. Are you just out here just like, what you looking for?

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, I'm in the. I'm in the process of just having fun. If it finds me, I'mma find it.

[Jean]

I feel it. I feel it.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's all we want to know, bro.

[Jean]

I hope it works out for you, man.

[Caller/Guest]

I meet a lot of women, bro, but it's just like, I hope it works out.

[Jean]

I'm not saying. Also, I'm not saying the club, you can't meet people at the club. I just think it's not, like, the most conducive places for people to meet, because, like, you can meet a girl in the club and you met her somewhere else outside the club, and you guys would be a perfect match. I just don't think real conversations happen

[Caller/Guest]

in the club makes sense. All right, see, I. I get that as well, but I was trying to got. You know what I'm saying? Get that date so we can have some real talk. But.

[Patrick Johnson]

All right, bro. All right. What's your mess?

[Caller/Guest]

Shout out to y' all boys.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

You know what I'm saying? Well, I'm glad y' all let me back on the pod. I'm the Red Bull. You feel me? My wife did a complete 180since then, you know what I'm saying?

[Jean]

What was the Red Bull thing?

[Patrick Johnson]

I really. We don't remember. We get so many calls, bro. Remind us.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm already know. I think y' all had a dude on the podcast from Gritson. Gritson. Gritson Eggs.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. Oh, okay. Deontay, Kyle. Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That episode. But, yeah, I'm a Red Bull dude and they got fired. You feel me? 180. You feel me? Better job. Like I said, I'm back on the hoes, and so.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay. I remember it. Yeah. Okay.

[Jean]

All right.

[Patrick Johnson]

Good, though.

[Jean]

Hope we help again, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, for sure.

[Patrick Johnson]

You missed. But you missed that girl, though.

[Caller/Guest]

I do, but I'm gonna go out right now, actually. I need to be getting ready.

[Jean]

So what's your message? If she recognize your voice, just give me a chance. Add club music to it. Sorry.

[Carrie]

Out.

[Jean]

Okay.

[Caller/Guest]

You let me take you out, I'mma show you what a real man, baby.

[Patrick Johnson]

Can you hear my car every day beefing with my right now, but life still lives.

[Caller/Guest]

You know what I'm saying?

[Jean]

That's exactly. That's exactly what she heard. That's the only way she recognized his voice.

[Patrick Johnson]

She like, damn. Okay, now you. That's what you got. You got to send a voice note with some G herbo playing in the background. What's up, man?

[Jean]

What up? What up?

[Caller/Guest]

Ain't nothing much, bro. I'm in my up situation right now. My battery stopped on me. I'm going through y' all stories. Let me reply to these.

[Jean]

Are you on the side of the road right now?

[Caller/Guest]

Hell, yeah, man.

[Jean]

Be careful, though. Should be getting crazy on the side

[Caller/Guest]

of the road like.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, you. You're a truck driver or just, like, regular car?

[Caller/Guest]

This is regular car, man.

[Jean]

What you waiting on?

[Caller/Guest]

The tow Wait on My stepdad.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay, one type. Hey, man, that's. We all been there before, bro. Bro, she ain't no joke.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, man, it's. Life just pissed me off.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, you good, bro. Another day, another dollar. Let's. Let's try to make it a good time right now. All right, what's something that breaks your heart to say but you have no choice?

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my mama, the reason my dad cheated.

[Patrick Johnson]

He did just say stepdad. Okay, it's starting to make sense. Okay, why you say that?

[Caller/Guest]

Nah, because I love my mom, but she nagged so much, and it's just like. I know she the reason this just, like, got up and, like, I'm tired of this. She activating. I got. I just gotta go. And he just cheated on her. And that's the situation we in, man. I got a stepdad. A step mama.

[Patrick Johnson]

Wait, so, like, is your dad in your life?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, yeah, my dad in my life.

[Patrick Johnson]

So you, like, so does she still nag to your stepdad?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, he does. But my stepdad, he takes it, and I'm like, hell, no. I can't be. I told my mom, I say, you the reason my dad left, and I cannot have no woman like you, but I love you, mama.

[Jean]

Did your mom ever say, like, anything your dad did wrong as well in the relationship?

[Caller/Guest]

Nah, she just called him a teen ass.

[Patrick Johnson]

But, like, how you know that she wasn't nagging from something that she caught him for before you even. Even born?

[Caller/Guest]

You know what I mean, bro? Because he told me the story. He said.

[Jean]

He.

[Patrick Johnson]

He told you? Okay, okay.

[Caller/Guest]

He told me. Yeah, I listen to both sides. He told me on the day that we were born, he was coming from Miami getting a wedding ring.

[Patrick Johnson]

Start over. Start the over. Start the over, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

He told me that he was coming from Miami with the engagement ring.

[Jean]

That's why he was in Miami. Where do you live before? Sorry, sorry not to interrupt you. Oh, where do you live?

[Patrick Johnson]

Where were you born?

[Jean]

Or, like, what state?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, what state? Georgia.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay, okay, okay. Start. Start the story over.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, so he said that he was going to get the wedding r ring, and when he pulled up to the hospital, she's nagging. She's going at him like, oh, you cheating. You out here with all these other. And like that. And he was like, you think I'm tino you? I went to get this ring, and he said he threw the ring at her and was like this.

[Jean]

Oh, she just gave birth, though. You don't think she might be, like, hormones.

[Patrick Johnson]

He should have been there. Like, what? And how does he like. Okay, so the thing about. So this is where your dad up at? Right? Right. So he just so happened to be coming back with the ring the same day that your mom went to labor. So he waited until your mom went into labor. He already had the ring. He was out there partying and cuz he like, damn, when I go back, my son going to be born and my life is over with. So he was over there getting in and then he took the ring like, come on, let's do this. Because ain't no way he wasn't with her a couple days. At least a couple days before you was born.

[Caller/Guest]

Boring. He probably was. He probably wasn't. I just feel like it's her fault.

[Patrick Johnson]

Nah, the way he.

[Caller/Guest]

The way he explained it, the way he explained it, I'm like, damn, that's a up situation. But it is what it is.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. I think you need to do a little bit more investigating, man.

[Carrie]

I should.

[Caller/Guest]

How come y' all gonna see his ass tomorrow?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, you. I think you did need. I think you need your mom's side of the story. I think you. You not getting it all. Because what if. You know what I'm saying? Like, what if you're. What if you're the person you were having a kid with cheated on you before you started? When you nag her.

[Caller/Guest]

It's deeper than that, though. It's deeper than that.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

I live with this woman.

[Patrick Johnson]

Wait, how old are you?

[Caller/Guest]

21.

[Jean]

Oh, no.

[Patrick Johnson]

Get this off my phone.

[Jean]

I'm not gonna. Like, the more I'm in college, though.

[Caller/Guest]

I'm in college.

[Jean]

Don't make sense. It makes sense, bro. I promise. I feel like one you shouldn't be getting involved in, like the reason they broke up or anybody's fault. Shit happens as. Especially when you get Kids are involved. As you get older, though, you start to realize whose fault is it and. And you mature a little bit, you start to realize it. And it doesn't matter whose fault it is at the end of the day because they're both in separate situations, right?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Jean]

I still rock with both of them. Let them live their life. Don't matter who.

[Patrick Johnson]

You need to love your mama, though. You need to have some more understanding for her and, like, why she nagging.

[Caller/Guest]

I love my. I love my mom, man. I love, love her.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, but you talking about you don't want no woman like her. You don't even know her, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

Bro, she nags too much. I love my mom, but she nice, bro.

[Jean]

All right, bro, you might just be really Needy as well, too.

[Patrick Johnson]

I don't like it.

[Caller/Guest]

I am a needy ass.

[Jean]

Okay? I would be nagging too.

[Patrick Johnson]

She like, what. What does your mom do for you right now? Like, does she. I know. I'm here because I'm sure she helping you pay for college, right?

[Caller/Guest]

Hell yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm sure she giving you food to eat as a 21 year old man, man.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, now I have a job. Come on now.

[Patrick Johnson]

I know you got a job, but the reason why you able to spend that money from your job so freely is because you live with who.

[Caller/Guest]

Come on.

[Patrick Johnson]

There you go, bro. Come on now. You nothing without her, you broke ass. No, you need to respect her, bro. Go give her a hug, bro. She nagging for a reason, bro.

[Caller/Guest]

She trying.

[Patrick Johnson]

She trying to make sure you don't end up like pops, man.

[Jean]

So are you in a relationship?

[Caller/Guest]

Relationship? Hell no. I don't do that.

[Jean]

Are you. Have you. Have you been in a relationship?

[Caller/Guest]

I'm a young. I'm a young bachelor, bro.

[Jean]

Okay, so have you been in a relationship, though?

[Caller/Guest]

Hell yeah.

[Jean]

And have you been faithful in those relationships?

[Caller/Guest]

Hell no. I'm the cheater. What you talking. That's not a.

[Carrie]

You need.

[Patrick Johnson]

You need your own bachelor pad to be a bachelor.

[Jean]

That's true.

[Caller/Guest]

We getting there, bro.

[Jean]

You can't be a bachelor living with your mom. There's no problem living with your mom at 21, but yeah, you can't classify qualified as a bachelor. Yeah, man, you're just a horny young. That's it.

[Patrick Johnson]

You like, you can't be a bachelor, bro. You have no car. No. No job.

[Jean]

No.

[Patrick Johnson]

You got a job. You ain't got no car. No house.

[Jean]

He has a car. Broken car.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, he does not have a car right now.

[Jean]

Whose car is that?

[Caller/Guest]

The car is. Bro, we're currently trying to fix this. We.

[Jean]

All right, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

Remember, remember. Go get your mama a hug, bro.

[Jean]

Bro.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

Tell you sorry. Tell stepdad. Tell stepdad. Be quiet now. Tweet of the week. Carrie sent me this. She said it says I have one. I want to say it says, if your baby is ugly, I'm not hiding my cigarette around it.

[Jean]

Oh, my God. No, no, no. Who already said that? Are you going to hell?

[Carrie]

That is the worst.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, no, no, no, no. You sent it to me.

[Carrie]

No. It's almost bad because I was going to the grocery store today and I saw this lady have all her windows rolled up and she started smoking a cigarette. She had two babies in the back. And I said, oh, my God.

[Patrick Johnson]

Right? She better. She Better puff her.

[Jean]

Was it an older lady too? Cuz grandma sometimes don't be giving a no.

[Carrie]

She had have been like in her late 30s.

[Jean]

Oh, no.

[Patrick Johnson]

Them kids would be all right. I grew up around a lot of smoke. I was. I'm good.

[Carrie]

I ain't going.

[Patrick Johnson]

I be tired as hell.

[Carrie]

Did you have asthma?

[Patrick Johnson]

I got it.

[Caller/Guest]

Got it.

[Patrick Johnson]

Got that, bro.

[Jean]

The funniest thing is discover your friend has asthma. Out of nowhere, bro.

[Carrie]

What? They start wheezing because.

[Jean]

No, because I've done like. Me and Pat been in a lot of athletic situations, like sports, everything. I've never seen this use an inhaler, right? Never. We've done hoop runs. We played 10 games straight. Never seen a his inhaler. We're walking randomly on tour and like that. He just walk out of nowhere. We walk for a while, and then they could just take out the inhaler. Puff it. I was like, wait, what?

[Caller/Guest]

Come on, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

It's about, bro. It's like, it's. It only happened, like, weird weather changes. I thought.

[Jean]

I thought he was joking. Pat joked so much, I thought he was trolling, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

I literally. I literally take an inhaler. I literally take an inhaler probably like three times a year. And it's like, because I went through a crazy weather change and I worked out and I worked out outside. So that means, like, I ran and it was hot and it got, like, immediately cold. And for some reason, like, I can't take a full breath, bro. I'm about to die. So y' all laughing at that, bro?

[Jean]

Punch in your chest.

[Patrick Johnson]

Nah, that's crazy. And you literally diabetic, bro. No, I stuff a cookie down your throat. Not murder. For murder. Maybe put some glucose in your shit. Somebody said tweet to me, say I couldn't be a club owner. Starter dreads, $80 to get in. I do want to say that, though, if I was a club owner, if you don't look like you got your shit together or if you got your shit too much together, you can't come, man.

[Jean]

Club.

[Patrick Johnson]

Club should only be for people that, like, got their together, but they still got a little bit way to go. Like, they need a little break. And you got your together. What is you here for? Like, don't nobody want to see you popping bottles, smiling. And I just finished a nine to five. Like, I don't. I don't need to see you drop 80k in front of me and my girl. We trying to have a good time. God damn, boss man. Dlo. How many boss man no, I'm just saying, like, I don't think it should be for it. They should have their own club. And then the people. That's like, people that like, come on now, bro.

[Carrie]

You trying to separate the class,

[Jean]

The red lines in the cities.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm for real, bro.

[Carrie]

District, the club.

[Patrick Johnson]

Think about it, bro. Think how hyper club would be if it was only middle class people in that.

[Carrie]

What?

[Patrick Johnson]

That should be lit, bro. It wouldn't be no sections, no nothing. Everybody be looking like, man, we can't afford that.

[Carrie]

You saying rich people ruin club culture,

[Patrick Johnson]

bro, they be it up. God damn. No wonder the shots in here 20 this spent 80k yesterday. They know I gotta be in here. I want to see none of that, bro.

[Carrie]

Absolutely not.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay, y' all want to know my new rule on a Friday?

[Jean]

What?

[Patrick Johnson]

Since I've been an entrepreneur, I had this rule on Fridays, get the out the way I. Bro, I don't know if you noticed this, but on Friday, especially, like, where we from, it is wild. People are driving crazy. And I used to. And I used to get mad, like, every Friday. I'm like, bro, why is everybody tripping? And it's like, because my Friday, I've been off on Thursday. I worked half a day on Tuesday. I didn't do on Saturday. And it's like, these people just bust their ass for 60 hours. Hours. And I'm going 40 into 35. Chilling. Listen to music. I'll be mad at me too. Like, get your ass out the way.

[Carrie]

Stresses of life, man. I tell you, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm telling you, bro, you got to get the out their way. I gotta respect it. Y' all got the road, bro.

[Carrie]

Or when it gets real hot, too. Just in general, when the weather get hot, the streets get reckless with the driving.

[Patrick Johnson]

Time to go, bro. It's like, well, where are you going if it's I. My rule is if I see more than 12 wife beaters, I. I'm out in fighting attire, ready tr to go. Like, that's the perfect fighting attire, bro.

[Carrie]

Okay, I want to ask Y' all about Dr. Cheyenne Bryant. Have you heard about it yet?

[Jean]

Yeah, yeah, I've seen.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, fill me in.

[Carrie]

Fill me in for a quick backstory. Fill me up for sure. Dr. Cheyenne Bryant. She is a psychology expert and a life coach, and she is being called out right now because she's claiming that she's a doctor, but she does not have any proof or has not shown any proof that she actually graduated and has her doctorates. Right? And at this point, she's saying Listen, I don't got nothing to prove to y', all because God told me that I'm good. But people are kind of giving her some backlash because she doesn't have a license. She. It seems as though she was lying about her even having her doctors in the first place because the college she went to shut down, shut down. And she's claiming she has no way to go get her transcripts. And I'm like, girl, what are you talking about?

[Jean]

That's where she went. Went wrong to me, when she was trying to. When she told that little runaround story, she basically said, the. The school closed down. And then the company that handles transcripts, the third party party, they no longer have the transcripts because it expires after two years. It's just like anybody can get their transcripts.

[Carrie]

Plenty people come out and say, yeah,

[Jean]

people that went to that school then came out and said that I went here, like, before her, and I still got my transcripts.

[Carrie]

And it's like, where's your dissertation if you're a doctor, that should be public for everybody to view. And she's just doubling down on the

[Jean]

fact that she don'.

[Carrie]

Have her. And then, like, she has it, but doesn't have her doctor.

[Patrick Johnson]

But she lied this long. Why would she let y' all stop her now?

[Jean]

But. And the thing you should saying, I never said I was a therapist. And then the thing about doing podcasts, a lot, you start to, you know, you start to talk and say things, and there's plenty of clips of her saying, as a therapist and stuff like that. So. So it's just like.

[Carrie]

But she's not licensed.

[Jean]

I think in this Internet age, there's a lot of experts in the sense that don't have any credential, why they're an expert in that. And I think, think. I'm not saying she falls in that, but it kind of sounds like she might be falling into that just because it's just like, it seems like such an easy thing to prove. It doesn't. Like, I'm pretty sure she's well educated and everything. Like, she got her.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, I knew she was lying when I saw that Dr. Brian chain. I said, nobody gets, like, I would never get, like, podcaster pet on my, you know, a podcast. Like, what the.

[Jean]

I think she has an honorary doctor.

[Carrie]

She has an honorary one. But I don't know. Do y' all feel like if you're giving somebody advice and you're doing it for your profession, that you should have some sort of license for it or you Think it's just cool to just be the. A life coach.

[Jean]

I think life coach. If she's just saying she's a life coach, I think people can have that, like, the credentials of saying that I can give good advice. But obviously from like, a therapist, there's a lot more theories that kind of go into, you know, you're writing, like, dissertations and stuff like that. So I don't know.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, it depends.

[Jean]

It depends on, like, what life, what type of life you're talking about. If you're talking about financial, like a financial coach. So. Right. Even as they say they didn't get the degree in anything financial, but they've been killing it on the market, in the stock market, and they know different ways to invest their money. Just like, self talk. Right. Then you can say, you know, that person can still be a financial coach or something. Not maybe like at a bank or anything. But I think it's different because I guess math is very black and white.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. There's proof in it.

[Jean]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

There's no proof in, like, life coach. She can't even talk about something that she did because it's probably private if the person is talking to him. Like, they don't want to talk about their life. So there's nothing she could prove about that. I think life coach is fine.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

As long as it's like, okay, I just got a divorce. Where do I go? I'm a single mom. Maybe you a single mom or you got something that you've been through that can get me through it. But as far as, like, if someone is, like, literally saying I'm depressed or something like that, I feel like you should have a license for that.

[Jean]

Yes.

[Patrick Johnson]

I think, because that stuff can tie back to, like, book work and school work and like, childhood and actually being good, too.

[Carrie]

Because she was saying that. Well, I've done my sessions with Cam Newton and I've done my sessions with Nick Cannon and B. Simone, and I'm like, are you talking about their podcast episode Tuesday sessions? Like, I don't get that part. But the life coach, like you said, I think that that's cool. But the whole psychology expert.

[Jean]

Yes. The psychology part is where, like, there's some, like, book work.

[Patrick Johnson]

But what is masters in. In psychology. You know what I'm saying? If I get. That's not. That's not something. That means that you get to talk to people about something.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

You still got to go do something with that.

[Jean]

Yeah. That's why people write those dissertations, because you can. They get peer reviewed Reviewed by other therapists. And then you can be like, okay, like, they agree with what you're saying. Yeah, because it is their opinion. Sometimes in those type of things, you're giving your opinion about something or writing a theory about something.

[Patrick Johnson]

So it's just like that dude that he went to jail, I think he was, like, a dentist or a doctor. He was actually doing, like, a great job with his clients, but he wasn't licensed.

[Jean]

He was him up.

[Patrick Johnson]

It might have been another one.

[Jean]

It was Atlanta. You're not talking about the Atlanta one, are you?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, it was some dude that was looking.

[Carrie]

Dude with the glasses, and he was acting like a doctor.

[Patrick Johnson]

One of them was doing okay. He wasn't doing crazy. He wasn't killing nobody. But I'm just saying, like, that's what she said. But I'm just saying, like, even, like, people that, like, do stuff like, like hair or, or they're a barber without a license, it's something they are not learning when they don't get their license. It's just one thing. They might not have ran into it yet. Like, you know what I'm saying?

[Carrie]

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I get that. I, I, I don't know if I'd sit in on a class, though.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

Like, would y' all have a session with her?

[Patrick Johnson]

I, I would, I wouldn't mind if it was free. I would have, I would have her on the pod. I wouldn't even, like, I'm, I wouldn't go out on a limp. Like, I don't know if she's a doctor or not. Like, maybe she just, like, confused or something. You know what I'm saying? Like, maybe she is a doctor and maybe we confused. No, you can't say, but you can't say no definitively. You can be, like, 99, sure.

[Jean]

No, I can never say she's working

[Patrick Johnson]

independent, you know, like an independent rapper.

[Jean]

Yeah, I won't say that she's not either. But I also would just say that I don't believe what the story she's telling. Yes, I definitely don't believe it.

[Carrie]

I wish she would have just said, listen, I wanted to put Dr. In front of my name for the branding purposes and for marketing purposes, because that just makes me look more credible.

[Jean]

And she got an under degree, so she like.

[Carrie]

And she's got.

[Patrick Johnson]

She can't. She can't. I don't like that for branding purposes, cuz, like, Dr. Drake, like, what if you. No, but Dr. Dre is.

[Jean]

No, but she cooks, bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, she did cook. I'm Just saying, like, come on, now. It's either, like, right, Dr. Dre. Nah, she can't do that.

[Jean]

Dr. Pepper.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's what I'm saying. She a soda or some Dr. Brian Zeus sound like the off brand Dr. Pepper.

[Carrie]

Sound like too faced.

[Patrick Johnson]

Dr. Brian. Doctor. Or some foot soles. Dr. Brian. So my buttons don't even hurt no more.

[Jean]

Epsom salt. Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Dr. Brian's Booty Cream. All right. Somebody said if Gene sent me this. Somebody said if my wife ever becomes paralyzed, just know I'm still eating that pair of Lucy.

[Jean]

Oh, my gosh.

[Carrie]

Y' all freaked out.

[Jean]

Nah, too freaked out.

[Patrick Johnson]

Gee, no more, bro. Somebody said I'm at the liquor store helping them lift the gate up.

[Carrie]

Them. The people you want in the club?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, the. The people that. There's people that do that, though you. You never realize it until you're doing something, like a special event. Like, you ever went to a casino with, like, at. As an event and stayed at the casino a little bit longer. You start to see people look like, oh, this is your home. Like, you're hearing regular club. You ain't got no change jewelry on. You in some jogging pants. Like, this look regular. Or you go to a liquor store at 11 o' clock, and you see, like, they talking like they know each other. What's up, Rob? What's up, Jim? Now I'm in here for a day party. What the fuck are you here for?

[Jean]

Nothing is like a showstopper more than like, I saw a reel about this. Your drunk friend, you put him in an Uber to go home to, back to the hotel, and y' all still enjoying your night out. And then you turn to your left, and you see, like, commotion going on and getting turned, and it's a circle around, and you walk to the circle, and it's your friend right there who you sell. It's like, what?

[Caller/Guest]

And. And.

[Jean]

And it's almost like he got a recharge. Like, the. Was about to die when you put him in the Uber. So he's like, yeah, he gonna go get to a room. Go straight to his room. And the came back with more energy.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm not gonna lie. The dirtiest I ever did. I feel like I was. Was with a party, going to a club.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

And me and this guy that I had just met at my friend's birthday party was the last two in line, and he was kind of, like, drunk as hell, but I don't know him well enough to, like, get them together. So I'm like, you know what it is? What it is, but everybody talking about, make sure everybody good. Make sure everybody good. I'm like, I got him. I got him. And when we got to the door, they asked him to pull his ID out. And while he was pulling his ID out, he started to get dizzy and he fell. And they're like. They like, no, no, he can't come in, man. So, like, I went into the club and I was just partying for an hour and, like, five pulled up on me. They like, hey, where James at? I'm like, oh, yeah, I didn't tell y'. All.

[Carrie]

He

[Patrick Johnson]

like, that's my little brother. I was like, why you wasn't watching?

[Jean]

I barely know this. I've done that to the. But the point was that they couldn't get into the club. Same situation. But then I'd be like, hey, bro, we about to go to another spot.

[Carrie]

Hot.

[Jean]

And like, that, you know, like, I'm gonna get. I get him an Uber and just get to wherever hotel he's at. Just hopefully he gets there. Because I feel like you that drunk and you kind of like come to and you. He's gonna fall asleep in the back of the Uber for sure, right? He got a 15 minute ride, so I know when he wakes up, he probably's gonna be like, oh, the night ended and already in their room. And until you get back. Until you get back on his phone. See, everybody's story. So that story said three minutes ago.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, wait, what? That's like. That's like a. That's like a very great friendship because there's only certain people, like, I would not go into the club if they couldn't get out. Like, if we were in New York and we were all getting to a club and they just looked at Jean and be like, oh, he said always. Because he always doing some. This bro or something. No, I be. I got some. I got a bone to this gene. I say this, but, like, Jean can't get in, right? And Jean is like, like, this is one of my best friends. So it's just like, okay, he can't get in. Where are we going next? But if it's just that, like, that awkward dude that was hanging around, you know, we was with a couple of them in New York.

[Jean]

You met them on the way and they decided to follow you to the next.

[Patrick Johnson]

Just like, we'll see you in the middle.

[Caller/Guest]

No, not.

[Jean]

I'm like, no, bro, it's probably not even popping in there, bro. I'm g. Just go inside and check real quick.

[Carrie]

I gotta. I got a question. For y', all then. So let's say y'. All. Y' all in the club then, and somebody passes out because they're drunk or, like, maybe they're dehydrated and they get kicked out of the club. Right? Are y' all leaving with them?

[Jean]

No.

[Patrick Johnson]

Who. Who are they to us?

[Carrie]

They're your friends. Y' all all came together. Y' all are close. Y' all are friends.

[Patrick Johnson]

Close, Yeah. Y' all are dehydrated and drunk.

[Jean]

I wouldn't leave, especially if I'm still having fun, because I. I feel like the friend group. No, because I think the friend group that we, like, we hang out with, they would know. It's like. Like, bro, I up to get in this position. I can't. I'm not going to bre. I wouldn't want. If that was me, I wouldn't want nobody to. To. To leave, like, nah, bro, I up. Y' all stay. My night's over.

[Carrie]

Ass out on the floor.

[Patrick Johnson]

Only if it's a woman. That's the only way the night shut down, cuz we got to protect her. But if it's a dude, man, dudes

[Carrie]

is all man for herself.

[Jean]

Come on. All right, Bleep that.

[Caller/Guest]

You're.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, but definitely not. You know better than that. Like, we grown ass, man. Not at any age, really. Come on. I can't ruin the night.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, my God.

[Patrick Johnson]

Come on. You know how they play. They be playing, like, flow ride at the beginning of the club.

[Jean]

Woman, that's your. That's your drunk friend. Then you have to go.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yes, for protection.

[Jean]

Yes. Just like I. I kind of trust my friends to kind of, like, protect themselves as well.

[Carrie]

Right.

[Jean]

But also. Also, he might be a danger to other people, so I might just make sure he. I might make sure you get home at least. That's why I was making. Make sure. I'll make sure he gets home okay.

[Carrie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Okay. Last tweet, somebody said just saw a girl on Tick Tock. Say gas prices don't affect her because she puts 20 every time. I ain't gonna lie. Gas is high as hell, though.

[Jean]

No, it's high as hell.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm not gonna lie. I'm ready like this to go back

[Jean]

to my Florida Explorer.

[Patrick Johnson]

No, no. He about to he the premium gas kicking my ass. I'm not gonna lie. But you might be cooking, Donald, because I might. I might have to sign up because I'm sick of this, bro. Just put me.

[Carrie]

Nah, it got me thinking about electric vehicles.

[Jean]

Nah, this. I paid 114 to fill my tank. No, I've never seen my in the hundreds before. I was like wait, I didn't even know it happened.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's what y' all voted, bro. That's what y' all voted for, man.

[Jean]

Bro.

[Patrick Johnson]

That's what y' all did, bro.

[Jean]

To the point I started like like saying. Saying like ah, I might just uber there. Even though it's still like a worst thing to do in a sense. But I don't feel like this is the longest I've like driven past like gas station. Usually I fill my tank up about like like 100 miles left, 80 miles left. I was filling my shit up when it's like 20, like last resort

[Patrick Johnson]

is getting dangerous. Like I've never like one. The thing that I'm confident about is like being in the suburbs at a gas station. Like I don't give a who around. I'm on my phone. I'm not worried about my surroundings. La de da da da. You gotta watch your back now. Like it's this big currency going on. Like might rob you for your gas. Like think of how up that situation would be. Like getting robbed for your guy. You know how long that process is.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like give. Give us that gas you just swiped for. Then they pull up their car behind you and then

[Jean]

yo.

[Patrick Johnson]

And you still gotta look at the price and see how much they ride for you. Like God damn.

[Jean]

Got dam only $40. That's a small ass tank.

[Patrick Johnson]

Now did his boy pull up? Yeah,

[Jean]

n gas is too high that over here. Oh, have you seen that trend, the spicy polaroids trend?

[Carrie]

No.

[Jean]

So it's a trend. I guess the. The wife, the bride is taking like spicy photos like maybe like lingerie, whatever type of photos.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Jean]

On Polaroids. And then they have the maid of honor like sneak it to sneak him to.

[Carrie]

Throughout the night.

[Jean]

Throughout the night.

[Carrie]

Yes.

[Jean]

And there was like one that happened where she was. They were dancing on a dance floor and all the Polaroids like fell on the floor and you just see like everybody like scattering to that. I feel like

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm not.

[Jean]

I don't think I'm ever going to have a wedding. But the one thing that I was always going to be nervous about was doing the. When somebody goes under the dress to kind of like. Cuz it's like I'm like am I going to look like a. I'm either going to look like a complete nerd or I have to really go full full into it and then look like a real freak in front of my mom.

[Patrick Johnson]

They better turn their back.

[Jean]

No I seen that do, like, get, like. They start, like, putting their mouth, like, after, like, bro, calm down.

[Patrick Johnson]

I'm not doing. I'm not doing that. Because at some point, you got to be on all fours. That just throw me off. You know what I'm saying?

[Carrie]

I just don't get the point of it. I'm all for breaking societal norms.

[Jean]

No, for sure.

[Carrie]

Stuff with weddings, because some stuff is just weird. Like, why are we doing this in front of my. My grandfather and my mother and the three year old?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, with weddings, like, why the Am I not eating while you getting married? You know what I'm saying? Like, give me a little snacky snack.

[Carrie]

You want an appetizer?

[Patrick Johnson]

Y' all just got us sitting here watching this, like, y' all know this.

[Jean]

Boring as hell. And then you start to find out the hierarchy in, like, your friendship when it's like, table one, you can stand up for your food now. And then you have. Yeah. Table 35. You're like, wait, nah, he didn't even like that in college.

[Patrick Johnson]

One thing I. I hate being a DEI at a wedding, though. I hate that.

[Jean]

Oh, when it's all white people.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. Then you, like, you look around like, hold on, man. This a personality invite.

[Jean]

Look at you.

[Carrie]

And.

[Jean]

When I see, like, same race marriage, usually, like when you. When the se. In arrangement is like, groom on this side, bride on this side. Right. But on those mixed weddings, it's like, they try not to be racist. So it's like everybody. Everybody's families mix it up because they

[Patrick Johnson]

know they got Uncle Elroy next to auntie Elizabeth, now my nephew. So let me get this right. My nephew, your niece.

[Jean]

Right.

[Carrie]

That's trash.

[Jean]

Oh, man.

[Carrie]

I was just at a wedding on Friday, and I was so happy because two of the people who I was supposed to be sitting next to, they didn't come, so I took their place plate.

[Jean]

Oh, is that bogus?

[Patrick Johnson]

Yes.

[Jean]

No. It was paid for already.

[Carrie]

Exactly.

[Patrick Johnson]

It would bogus. Nobody was there.

[Carrie]

That is not bogus.

[Patrick Johnson]

She bogus. She knew it was bogus. That's why she asked us why you took it to go.

[Carrie]

I did anyway. Huh?

[Patrick Johnson]

You took it to go or like.

[Carrie]

No, I ate it Right now put it away.

[Patrick Johnson]

She was hungry.

[Jean]

I don't think I. I don't think I've had. Have you had wedding food that was good enough to take home?

[Patrick Johnson]

No, I guess not. Really? I had some good wedding food.

[Jean]

I've gotten good wedding food.

[Patrick Johnson]

My. My cousin Romaine's wedding. Top tier.

[Jean]

Yes. Okay.

[Patrick Johnson]

He has some, but that was. He has some uncles that was in there cooking.

[Jean]

That was different, though. That was like actual like awesome. Soul. Yeah. Soul food was just like.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Jean]

It wasn't that many people either.

[Patrick Johnson]

That was some that had your left arm tingling after.

[Jean]

Yes.

[Patrick Johnson]

That Elizabeth lightheaded that right there. Boy, that, that. Oh, my God, that so good.

[Jean]

I guess the last thing we can talk about. We never even talked about this. This dude, the whole time he was doing a thing was Chud the Builder.

[Patrick Johnson]

Oh. I kind of like. I'm glad we didn't.

[Jean]

I'm glad too, because.

[Patrick Johnson]

Because we. Obviously we were going to be right. You know what I mean? It's like something bad was going to happen. I also didn't want to predict something else bad. I'm glad nobody lost their life.

[Jean]

Exactly.

[Patrick Johnson]

Even him. I want him to spend the rest of his life in jail.

[Jean]

Go ahead, charge. The Builder is a streamer who kind of goes around and starts telling antagonizing black people and saying like, you're chimping

[Patrick Johnson]

out and then calling the N word

[Jean]

with the hard R and say it's a free country.

[Patrick Johnson]

Like, freedom is basically using his quote unquote, freedom speech.

[Jean]

Yeah. And then somebody threatens him. He says, I have a gun or I'm about to mace you type of thing. So. But he was getting. It was all over Twitter. That's why. That's like, I tell you, Twitter's not a real place. Because he was popular on Twitter, in a sense, in a little bubble.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. He had like 220,000 followers from Twitter. I would say, like half of them crazy were following him because they couldn't believe he was getting away with it. And then like half of them follow him because they racist. He's like, duh, there's a hundred thousand racist people here.

[Jean]

He. He does it in Nashville. So he knew. He knew better. But he. He got. Recently got shot. Well, he shot himself cuz somebody. He tried to shoot somebody. He actually did shoot somebody. And then the bullet grazed himself. And then now he's in jail for attempted murder awaiting trial.

[Patrick Johnson]

$1.2 million bond.

[Jean]

And you can see like the hurt on his face because the things that we always. You can always say, like we've always said, like, what's going to happen to him is going to happen. You can't live at life to that extreme every day and expect nothing to happen.

[Patrick Johnson]

Now. Now he has a top dollar.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

So hopefully, hopefully his baby mama gets with a black dude. We'll see who really chipping out.

[Jean]

But I think the danger of like even what he's saying is just that I'm starting to see just other people starting to say those words, like the chimping out. And especially, like the younger generation. Like, there's like.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, that's.

[Jean]

I think that can start, like, kind of like race wars, in a sense, in. In schools, especially people that are already getting bullied. Especially like. Like those. The black kid that might be at a predominantly white school. And it's just like, they might not say, like, the heart, the hard R N word, but they still be like, the chimping out thing, it's just like, oh, he's chipping out, chimping out. I've heard, like, I've just seen random people on. On Twitter doing the same thing that Chubb was doing, but not in that sense, but trying to be more slick with it.

[Carrie]

Keep it up. You're gonna find the right one.

[Jean]

Yeah, you're always gonna find. It's a numbers game.

[Patrick Johnson]

And he found. I think he kept running into people that sort of kind of knew who he was, especially after. After, like the beginning ones went so viral, because nobody could believe it. He kept running into people that were either aware of the camera right away or they kind of knew who he was. But then he finally ran into somebody that's like, off the grid. They don't know. They just see some white dude holding up a crown, a camera, saying racial slurs. So that he got at him and then he thought, like. Like shooting them. You can't antagonize somebody and shoot them. Like, it don't work like that, bro. You're not gonna get off scot free. Put it like that.

[Jean]

It's a numbers game, bro.

[Carrie]

That's why this streamer culture is very dangerous when you think about it, because. And it's going to get worse, I feel like, too, because people are trying to be more creative and do more outlandish things just for the likes and the views. But listen, you live by it. You.

[Jean]

Yeah, I just think. I think it's like people are going to start seeing there's no longevity in it. Like, there's going to time where it's like, you said so much crazy. I mean, like, this is a streamer named Sneako, right? He was dancing, or he had. It was in the car with Andrew Tatum and was playing the Hitler song by Kanye, right? And now he's. He was banned from going to Australia. He just found out he was banned from going to Australia. A lot of these streamers are getting banned from going to countries. Like, you're getting banned from entering a country is it's.

[Patrick Johnson]

And they got the money to go.

[Jean]

They have the money to go. So it's just going to keep happening. Like, he's banned from nightclubs in Miami because I guess the big Jewish community there too. So it's just like they're going to start to realize little by little that a lot of this they're doing is not worth it. And hopefully nobody eyes before they find out.

[Carrie]

How old are these people, too? Like, do they appear?

[Patrick Johnson]

They be. No, they be ranging.

[Jean]

They be probably like our age.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, he might be older. And he got a daughter, a toddler daughter. Like, it's just like, bro, these dudes, no clout. No, that's a bad part about the clout is that the dude that did that to ch, right, he got shot. He might even do some jail time for aggravated assault. And like, that doesn't happen regularly. Like, I can walk down. Down these streets all the time. And even if someone doesn't like me, if I get into it with somebody, they is rarely are they going to say something that gets me out of my skin. Because the people know what that comes with. And he's going saying that to other people and getting people. Like, that dude would never. If. If Chuck went by him and called him a dude would have probably just called him a back and they just had a screaming match. But the fact that he said something that was so outlandish, now you got another person in jail. Could have killed them. I know. Crazy.

[Jean]

Remember, freedom of speech isn't freedom of consequences. I was like, the bingo. It's like the. For the people that says, if it was a white person doing this or a black person, again, like, we always say, just do it.

[Patrick Johnson]

But I just know it's just.

[Jean]

No, you'll find out. It's just like, you have to just come, go be okay with the consequences that happen to you from doing whatever type of thing you do.

[Patrick Johnson]

It's just no such thing as freedom of speech then. That's the thing. It's just like, I think people look at freedom of speech as like, oh, the government can't do anything about what I said. But the government isn't the only thing that can stop you from doing.

[Carrie]

And they can too.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah, yeah. And they can't. At the end of the day, like, it really ain't freedom of speech. Like, honestly, like, there's so many things that humans go through and do. Like, you don't think, like, you break one small law. You know what I'm saying? If you do one Small thing. And the government don't like what you saying, they gonna tap into that small thing. They're gonna know that license not registered on time. Oh my God. They're gonna put you in jail for 20 years for bad. For bad stuff sticker.

[Carrie]

Hey, real quick, before you rap, I know you about to rap. I need to know y' all opinion on that whole AP Swatch conversation.

[Patrick Johnson]

What's the conversation? Oh, what DDG you're talking about?

[Jean]

People are AP.

[Carrie]

AP did a, a collab with Swatch. You know AP watches are like 30,000 plus dollars, right. But now with this collab, they made it more affordable for everybody. And over the weekend it dropped and people were getting into fights, police got involved. It was actually really crazy for people to get these affordable AP watches. But people who pay for like the 30,000 plus ones are like, like, what's up with this? Like I had to pay X amount and now you making it affordable. Like why they can't mess with me.

[Jean]

You know, the up part is I'm seeing a lot of people complaining about it who don't own aps or can't afford aps. And that's like the annoying part for me. It's like they going to lower down the value of the, the aps, the

[Carrie]

Royal Oaks, which you don't even have ever.

[Jean]

You don't have it.

[Patrick Johnson]

And then if they do have it, you didn't buy it from ap. It's like you're not even official, official customer of them. So like why are you complaining about a company that never even, you never even bought from, you don't even have an account with.

[Jean]

So it's just like, it's like elitism too. It's just like I want to keep people as far away from my level.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Jean]

Or I don't want anybody to have access to like an easier access to get to the level I'm at right now or the items, the things I own.

[Carrie]

But I think it's also corny for the people who are like fighting other people just to get this.

[Jean]

That happens though. They do that for shoes and like that. So that's just normal. Yeah, there's a lot, there's a lot of resellers.

[Patrick Johnson]

You know, people be in the house, people stay in the house, they don't jump off the porch and then they'll see some Swatch release like that. And that'd be their first time doing an event in seven months and somebody has shoulder bump them and they didn't watch so much Internet and TV that they think they supposed to swing on a person. You're going to jail. Dumb. You ever see people fighting and like these people over here just like you'll see like at a concert or like down in Houston, like when it's like something going on, a festival going on and you'll see like people fighting and the police breaking that up. And then you'll see people fighting right next to the police and they're just like this not registering in your head. My, like you're about to get maced.

[Jean]

So that's why sometimes I won't even try to break up a fight because that's how you get, that's how you get swung on. The biggest fights I always see like the, the way fights. The way I see fights continue the most is someone they're fighting squabbling for maybe like 10 seconds, right. Somebody tries to break them up, right. The person that's trying to break it up gets pushed like super aggressively. He's like, don't push me like that. And they start fighting. So it's like it's just a never ending thing. And the, that you beat the. That got his ass beat gets up and recovers and now they're jumping the.

[Patrick Johnson]

Yeah. It's funny.

[Carrie]

The dude who don't got nothing to do with none, but he's just trying to get involved some way shape or trying to the circle and in it.

[Patrick Johnson]

It's always weird to me. The, the dude that breaks up the fight if he's breaking like if it's a guy, girl. They're trying to break up the fight because their person is losing.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

So technically isn't that like jumping in a sense? You know what I mean? Like you're trying to reset something. When that person got the advantage I

[Jean]

would jump in is my friend is getting his ass beat.

[Carrie]

Yeah. You want to stop.

[Jean]

I would stop trying to stop it at that point because it's like to the point it's like if he's up, it's just like when somebody's throwing in the white T towel. It's like I'm throwing in the white towel for my boy.

[Patrick Johnson]

Now you. I feel like you gotta like always did like the, the fake jump in.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Patrick Johnson]

Because you got a fake run in and then hop out because you got to see who was trying to meet you there.

[Jean]

Exactly.

[Patrick Johnson]

Because you know so many people go into a spot where they like, oh, I ain't see this dude with nobody. I'm about to go grab my partner and then next, you know, all five dudes that was watching the fight was with him.

[Jean]

They came there together.

[Patrick Johnson]

You should have just let that one on one happen and you would have made it all. Now y' all both getting your ass whooped. Yeah. Crazy way to end the pot. Remember Toronto? Make sure y' all pop out. Detroit, make sure y' all pop out. Detroit is like a big theater, so make sure y' all get y' all tickets early because, like, once the ball starts rolling is. I feel like it's already like 40 sold out. Once the ball starts rolling on Detroit, we got a lot of family and friends coming that still haven't got their ticket. And I 100 know they're gonna get their ticket, so. And they're. They're lazy and they gonna be late as hell. So if you try to wait until like three or four days before you might miss out. And don't, don't, don't try to knock

[Caller/Guest]

on that door, bro.

[Jean]

All right, y'.

[Caller/Guest]

All.

[Jean]

Peace.