5 Kids at 21 - Episode 241

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast with Pat and Mike

Episode 241: "5 Kids at 21"

Release Date: January 14, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Pat and Mike—joined by regulars and a few call-in guests—dive into absurd life scenarios, wild listener confessions, and current social topics. As always, their candid humor and storytelling shines through, but this time the show is anchored by a jaw-dropping real-life story: a 21-year-old who already has five children (Episode Title: "5 Kids at 21"). The hosts also run through ranking relationship pet peeves, dissect viral internet moments, and explore the blurred lines between privacy and secrecy in relationships.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Warmup Banter & Current Events

[00:00–03:00]

• Mike kicks things off with a string of humorous mall and restaurant stories—including a riff about old-school rappers and confusing water order options.
• Quick housekeeping: Pat promotes the Patreon (with Chicago live show uploads and merch coming soon), and there’s a few friendly roasts about being recognized by fans ("the dude on the right").
• The team gives a shoutout to other podcasters (Upstairs Neighbors, TMG) and teases future content drops.

2. Sports Talk & Fanbases

[03:02–04:00]

• Mike shares his complicated relationship with the Packers and Bears, joking about fans’ hot takes in Wisconsin bathrooms.
  Quote:

"I feel like what comes with the territory of having the best fans... is y’all got some really dumb fucking fans." — Mike [03:20]

• They also throw jabs at “dumb” sports takes and share quick NFL reactions.

3. Zion Williamson, Fame, and ‘Horniness’

[04:00–08:36]

• The discussion pivots to Zion Williamson’s entanglements, internet rumors, and what it’s like to gain fame—and attention—too young.
• They speculate on why Zion is constantly in “horny” headlines, suggesting he never learned to vet the real intentions of those around him.
• The hosts break down the risks of public attention for famous athletes, dressing choices, and viral “bad fits.”
• Memorable exchange:

"Why are you that comfortable? You got $100 million, what you setting up a fire stick for?" —Mike [05:13] "This is why you gotta experience hoes before you get some real money." — Pat (quoting social media) [05:16]

4. TMZ & Celebrity Gossip

[08:36–09:46]

• Commentary on TMZ's habit of reporting on obscure family members of not-quite-celebrities—setting up a joke about their own potential headlines.

5. Viral Fitness Gyms

[10:22–11:51]

• Pat and Mike talk about the “Diamond Gym” trend—where people go just to get roasted during insane workout routines.
• Contrasting gym motivation: Mike loves the insults; Pat prefers motivational, non-insult encouragement.
• Mike jokes about the lack of “leg day” in these viral workouts.

6. Blind Ranking: Relationship Annoyances

[11:55–21:28]

• Using a “blind ranking” game, the group orders 9 things a romantic partner can do to annoy them (e.g., laughing too hard at another guy's joke, posting seductive pics, staying out late, DMs with other men, having a guy best friend, etc.).
• The detailed, hilarious debate highlights shifting values and insecurities.
• Quotes:

“There’s no hug that a girl can do to a guy that would offend me. Unless she jumped up into the arms and he got the air.” — Mike [14:37]

“My biggest flaw in a relationship—I'm very tit for tat, and I’m trying to work on that.” — Mike [16:36]

7. Call-In Segment: “5 Kids at 21”

[22:02–29:41] (highlight)

[Key Moment]

• Listener ‘Fat’ is brought on:
  • He’s only 21 years old and already has five children with three different women (including twins under a year old); baby #6 may be on the way (the mother is currently in jail).
  • He details a chaotic web of relationships, breakups, and parenthood, including one ex vandalizing his home.
  • Discusses struggling to provide for all his kids as a cook, working to get a bigger place, and plans to “settle down” in the future.
  • Hosts react with shock, humor, and genuine concern, urging consideration of contraception and responsible choices.

QUOTE:
“Five kids at 21? You're down 40 points in the fourth quarter, bro. They about to take a knee.” — Mike [26:37]

"You need to get a vasectomy, though... for real." — Mike [28:04]

• ‘Fat’ also asks for advice about becoming a professional boxer. Pat gently advises him to focus on stable work instead of high-risk dreams, given the responsibilities.

8. Call-In Confessions: Wild Dating App Lines and Crazy Relationships

[32:00–47:00]

• Callers share the wildest opening lines they’ve used on dating apps; highlights include:
  • “Girl, you so bad, I gotta suck your dad just to see where you came from.” [32:11]
  • “Are you part of the Cream Team or the Squirt Squad?” [51:56]
  • “How do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilized.” [48:49]
• Real stories about cheating ("I cheated just in time, because she came at me with a white dude") and a listener whose girlfriend stabbed him with scissors but whom he took back ("People change. You gotta give them more opportunities." [39:09]).

9. Social Topics: Privacy vs. Sneakiness & Online “Toxic” Labels

[61:00–64:21]

• Explores the difference between being “sneaky” vs. “private,” especially in relationships or dating stages.

“It becomes sneaky when you know they’re gonna feel some type of way about it.” — Jean [61:51]

• Pushback on how the internet overuses terms like ‘gaslighting’ and ‘narcissist’: people over-label standard disagreements or incompatibilities as psychological pathologies.

“Do I believe that 50 people in these comments have a narcissist ex? No. You guys are misdiagnosing something.” — Pat [64:21]

10. Viral Internet Moments: Comments, Arguments, and Car Rants

[66:27–73:50]

• Laughter about the wildest, wittiest, and sometimes meanest comments under viral internet videos:
  • “You can’t have good moments [on the internet].” — Mike [65:31]
  • “There’s too many witty people out there… you’d think they’d be a comedian, but it’s just for the love of the game.” — Pat [66:27]
• Observational rants: viral Twitter debates, four-way stop sign etiquette (“I'm becoming a four-way stop sign bully…” [71:02]), and the way English pronunciation makes no sense (“Why do we pronounce the G twice in longevity?” [72:31])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Mike on viral fitness culture:

  “The only thing I don’t like is... when are we gonna start doing legs around this bitch?” [11:30]

• ‘Fat’, 21-year-old dad:

  “I got five kids… My oldest is one.” [26:53] “You need to, like, get a vasectomy, though, like, real.” — Mike [28:04]

• On public relationships (Desmond & Christy breakup):

  "When you make money off doing a certain thing, when it comes crashing down, you can’t be mad that people probe at that certain thing." — Mike [55:36]

• On calling everything ‘narcissist’:

  “It don’t make sense, bro. ... You were together five years, and now you’re telling me this person was a narcissist? Now I think you’re stupid for being with one five years.” — Mike [64:40]

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• [04:00] Zion Williamson & athlete fame
• [11:55] Blind Ranking: Things a spouse can do to annoy
• [22:02–29:41] “5 Kids at 21” call-in story
• [32:11] Wildest dating app lines
• [39:09] Listener: taken back a girlfriend who stabbed him
• [55:15] Desmond & Christy TikTok couple breakup + “celebrity” relationships
• [61:00] Sneaky vs. private in relationships
• [66:27] Wild internet comments & viral moments
• [71:02] Four-way stop sign bullying rant
• [72:31] Pronunciation of 'longevity'
• [74:51] DM of the week: Wild hypothetical

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Summary & Tone

Crash Dummies Podcast delivers another episode brimming with blunt humor and real-world absurdity. The hosts encourage audience participation, never pull punches, and keep things moving with genuine camaraderie. In this episode, the tone is particularly animated, thanks mainly to the shocking call-in about fathering five children by age 21. Throughout, Pat and Mike blend quick-witted commentary with insights on modern relationships, fame, and internet culture.

The episode rides the line between irreverent fun and thoughtful discussion—anchored by wild listener stories and the hosts' unfiltered takes on everything from sports to TikTok breakups to pronunciation nitpicks.

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For listeners: Whether you’re in it for the laughs, the life lessons, or just to hear stories you’ll never believe, this is a classic Crash Dummies episode—equal parts shocking, hilarious, and real.

Transcript

[Mike]

Why you pull the trigger? That's how. That's how them old school rappers used to be.

[Pat]

What?

[Mike]

Once ago, I was in the mall and I see a nigga

[Pat]

once ago,

[Mike]

back in the day, I was cooling back and I seen this dude driving in the Cadillac. He started to say, who you, man? I said, man, you don't know? I'm your best friend. So we hit the mall. What mall was that? It was Oakland Mall. Well, matter of fact, the niggas be hippity hoppity here. No, but for real, I was at the. I was at the restaurant the other day, and a lady asked me, the waitress said, how do you want your water? And I was like, oh, I'll take a straw, a lime, and that's it. I don't want anything else to go in my water ever again. Nothing else.

[Pat]

I thought it was meant like. Like still or sparkling.

[Mike]

Nah, I'm talking about. I don't want no more ice in my Ice. Him. I ain't gonna lie. Ice different, though. They punching in their mouth. And it was. It was this lady that had a recorded video of her getting punched by ice. Like, they just punching people and not arresting them usually if a copy. One thing I respect about cops, if they put their hands on you, they arresting you. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not about to let you leave and say, I put my hands on you. Like, you know, these ice dudes, they getting out of hand, man.

[Pat]

Them.

[Mike]

Them, bro.

[Pat]

But anyway, welcome to crash dummies, episode 241. I'm Mike. We got Pat here, we got Jean here. I decided I. My point of saying, I'm Mike at the beginning of the episode. Now, it makes sense now because somebody who questioned it because it's just people repeating it. But it's like this person said, the dude on the right, I love his goofy laugh. Oh, my God, this is my second time watching. And his laugh alone got me hooked. They said the guy dude on the right is just like, are you watching the pod?

[Mike]

Yeah, no, I get that, though. I just.

[Pat]

Dude on the right.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's like, what? You know, sometimes you at your life where you can't learn. Nobody else name you at capacity. Like you ever been going through it, and you just like, I just can't get to know another person. You might be a good person, man. I just ain't got it in me.

[Pat]

Oh, but. Oh, yeah. Make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon. We dropped the live show on Patreon, so the whole Chicago live live show is on patreon. It is 50% off for your first month. We got merch coming soon and we also to. To entice you guys a little bit more, we're going to be dropping on upstairs neighbors. Their. The podcast we shot with them a while ago. It's been on Patreon.

[Mike]

Shout out to the. Shout out to the ladies.

[Pat]

Shout out to them.

[Mike]

That was a good episode. Fun episode. Fun crossover episode under, you know, tmg. Shout out to tmg.

[Pat]

Jay. So we're gonna drop that on Saturday. Merch coming soon.

[Mike]

Yes, sir. Packers choke.

[Jean]

Yes, sir.

[Mike]

Let's go. You know, to Sometimes, like, okay, I feel like if I lived in Chicago, yeah, I would be a Bears fan by now. Like, at least like every game that they played. Not against the Lions.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But living in Wisconsin, it's very hard to be a Packers fan, bro. Like, these are like some, you know, some of the best fans in the world. But I feel like what comes with the territory of having the best fans in the world is y' all got some really dumb fucking fans around this bitch. I heard somebody in the bathroom like, man, we need to get rid of Jordan Love and keep Malik Willis. I said, yeah, brother, the fries in the bag, nigga.

[Pat]

Staying on sports. Zion Williams.

[Mike]

Zion Williamson.

[Pat]

Williamson.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I don't really care.

[Jean]

I have it.

[Pat]

Williams on my phone because I think I was tired of trying to spell his last name.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

But man, there's. Is there a level of horniness that like, you can't like, remove?

[Mike]

I just think he's. He's in a. He's in a rare position.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Because he's an athlete. Which means, like, I don't know, athletes are surrounded by bad women. You know, there's a lot of women that.

[Pat]

You mean like good looking women or just bad in, like, characteristics?

[Mike]

Bad in characteristics. Like bad character women. Because some of the women around there, you know, they go to games only to hook up with the players. And some of them maybe want a relationship, but some of them also just want what comes with being around that NBA player, which would be like, oh, he randomly gonna send me $10,000. Because they do got a lot of money and Zion has a lot of money. And he's in a rare position because if you pay attention to his high school tape.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

He's going against like five, six white kids all through his high school tape. So that shows you what type of conference he's in, what type of area he lived in. Zion probably didn't get around women until he was already famous.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So he doesn't even know who truly likes him. Like he don't know the game, he don't know when he's being plotted on. So if you see him in a video with the only fans model, he's setting up the tv like you a got to do that.

[Pat]

So com. He's too comfortable.

[Mike]

You got 100 million, what you setting up a fire stick for?

[Pat]

Like Behance says Zion Williamson is an example of why it's important to experience hoes before you get some real money.

[Mike]

Real bro. At least like not. Not even to say hoes, but like at least experience women wanting you.

[Pat]

But he's been popular for a while. Like he was NBA bound since he was in high school.

[Mike]

It ain't about that though. It's about the how instantly it happened though.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like it was like as soon as he turned 18 and committed to Duke, it was women at his cap. And it's. It's almost been every year there's been something that comes out about Zion. Like you horny every year. You ain't never took a year off since you've been 18. Just horny shit after horny shit.

[Pat]

I don't even think it's about like, obviously it's horny shit, but it's also like this is gonna be sound like body shaming or something like that. But it's just a type of woman sometimes that it's like the, the. The super bbls. Yeah, like the. The bbls, they don't. The thighs don't match bbos.

[Mike]

There's somebody. But it's somebody for everybody. There is somebody that's just his preference and what he like getting at, you

[Pat]

know, I'm just saying there's, there's. You can still get like escorts and the ones that don't talk or post you and expose you online. It's just like the mental thing to if to be Zion Williamson and a girl's recording the View and everything. It's like, bro, why are you that comfortable?

[Mike]

But I also think that's the type of woman that he's attracted to.

[Pat]

That's true too.

[Mike]

It has to be. Because I feel like that comes with the attitude of a woman. Because I used to not be where he at. I was never that horny. But when I was.

[Pat]

Why you keep saying he's that horny though?

[Mike]

Huh?

[Pat]

Why you keep saying he's that horny? Isn't it because of. You talked about Mariah Mills in this pod.

[Mike]

But like horniness. I feel like to be so horny, it blinds you from things like somebody recording your whole fucking house.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like you're so horny and so worried about setting the mood, you not even looking at her recording your whole house. And you've already been in this situation before, so you would think you would be on 10 about it.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

The thing I say was. Was fucking him up is that he must like the very aggressive woman. It's almost like the woman that's treating him like a little boy from the get go, no matter his money. Like, I feel like if a woman came up to me him respectfully, like, hey, how you doing? Let's go on the dates, he probably would have been like. But if a woman came up to him like me, you, your house do what the I say he like.

[Jean]

He said he got mama issues.

[Mike]

You know what I'm saying? I wouldn't put it that far, but. But the nigga got anime Air Force one, so it's just like adding up.

[Pat]

I saw somebody said he had the. The anime Air force ones, the anime pants and the. The shirt. And you said this fit told me everything.

[Mike]

Exactly.

[Pat]

Everything I need to know about Zion.

[Mike]

You know, if it was just shirt, pants and shoes, I might let it slide. But there was also a ve.

[Cole]

Pretty sure.

[Mike]

I think he had a vest on right there.

[Pat]

That. That third one right there.

[Mike]

Is that a vest?

[Eugene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Okay. It was a vest.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, like a. Had a vet. Like an anime vest on. Like you had to go out of your way. Like the pants I could see like, okay, maybe find them on ebay or some. Or some collectors. The shoes, same thing. Custom shoes, a vest. You got that custom made somewhere.

[Pat]

Yeah, just diabolical.

[Mike]

And it's not even a good fit. That's the thing.

[Pat]

It's not even. Because it has anime. Cuz I've seen like hand jackets and stuff like that with anime characters on it.

[Mike]

I mean, Zion just a bad dressing ass and that's okay. Like. And you know I'm saying I'm not the best dressed person ever, but I best dress way better than this. The one thing I will say, I don't like putting people below me in any aspect in life, but God damn, I take the cake on this one. Zion good looks. I saw a post that TMZ posted, which I'm not. I'm not really rocking with tmz. They posted Cooper the jeans brother. Cooper jeans, a defensive back from the Eagles. Whatever. Not even like crazy famous person. They posted that his brother got a owi and it was just like, we getting to the point where these news articles are reaching so bad for news that they're taking people who aren't even A list celebrities, B list celebrities, or C list celebrities, and then they're finding their family members and posting about them. Like, imagine that. Like, if we ever get that famous, I'm. My family. In the news every week. Cousin of Patrick Johnson slaps the out of bartender for fifth time this week. Ah, damn. How the is this in the news?

[Pat]

I think I'd be good.

[Mike]

You think you'd be good? You ain't got no brother that's like Jackson Mahomes.

[Pat]

Nah, not my brother. My brothers are pretty chill.

[Mike]

Your brothers are pretty chill, bro.

[Pat]

But your bro, they're just floating in the. In the shadows.

[Mike]

Your brother lied, though.

[Pat]

What?

[Mike]

I want to put this. There was a. There was a thing when we had our live show, and it was a sticker, and it said, I love pogs. And I asked him, I was like, do you know what this means? And he never looked at it. And he said, no,

[Eugene]

you didn't even

[Mike]

look at it, bro.

[Pat]

Oh, man. Hey, you seen the people going to the Diamond Gym?

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

That. The Diamond Gym has become like a tourist trap.

[Mike]

I with it.

[Pat]

No, I with it, too. But I think it's just interesting that. That a lot of celebrities and people go there to do random reps of things and get yelled at.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. The workouts don't make sense. No, for sure. It's about. It's about strength, and it's like more

[Pat]

of a mental thing.

[Mike]

Yes, definitely. Strengthen, like, durability.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Some of the weights that they have. I'm just like, nigga, what if I can't lift this? Then what? Like, I do.

[Pat]

Laughs.

[Mike]

You got to do the hill, nigga. What if I do the heel slow?

[Pat]

I think, for me is, like, kudos to those dudes. Like, they're doing their thing, obviously something, you know, they gain a lot of views. But I feel like I just never been the type of person that, like, responds well to people yelling at me to, like, do something.

[Mike]

I love that. I'm not going to lie. I love it in a speed off that.

[Pat]

I love it in a sense. It's like, especially in boxing or hitting the bag, it's like they're talking shit like, all right, let's go. Let's do that type, like, push this and that. But I'm not the type of one that's like, get your soft ass up this and that. It's like, when it's like, insults it's

[Mike]

not like I love that you got.

[Pat]

You like, you like people talking dirty to you, man.

[Mike]

Love that shit, bro. He likes being your bitch ass. Like, who you calling the bitch? Like, not. I feel that. Like that. That's my type of gym. The only thing I don't like is just like, when are we going to start doing legs around this? Walking over that. Dude deadlifts, I think run into the gym and push and bump all of us over. Now we all on the floor. Who did that?

[Pat]

Jump all over, like, pins and.

[Mike]

No, no, for real. Okay, I got 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Okay, I got nine of them. I don't know where the tenth one at, but nine. We gonna blind rank, okay? Playing blind ranking. Okay. I want you to blind rank these nine things that your spouse can do to annoy you.

[Pat]

Okay? Okay, what are we doing? What numbers? We blame ranking one to five.

[Mike]

One through one through nine. Nine things.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

Okay. Okay. The first one laughs a bit too much about another guy's jokes.

[Pat]

Put that like, S6.

[Mike]

You used to it, though. Yeah, like any. Any girl you ever brought around me. You know what I'm saying? They cackling and I'll be testing them out too, for you. You know what I'm saying? Because there know I be having in my notes, like, okay, if she laugh at that, I gotta tell my boy, this ain't the one.

[Pat]

Turn to a comedian.

[Fat]

I do.

[Mike]

I straight turn it to. All right. Gets a lot of attention on social media.

[Pat]

I'll put that last.

[Mike]

Last, right?

[Pat]

Yeah, I put that nine.

[Mike]

What about you? Damn, Jean, you gonna skip the thing?

[Jean]

Okay, I agree with 6.

[Pat]

Can you put the numbers down for me so I know what I got left?

[Jean]

Yeah, I got you. I agree with 6 for the first one. Okay, Social media attention.

[Mike]

Where do you put that? You put that last?

[Pat]

Yeah, last.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Jean]

Yeah, I mean, that's gonna. That's gonna happen. I'll say seven.

[Mike]

Seven. Oh, she'd be leaving room.

[Eugene]

Yes.

[Pat]

That's smart, though. That is smart.

[Mike]

No, that's smart.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Six, seven. All right, the next one is post seductive pictures on social media.

[Jean]

Playing with fire. I was warming up.

[Mike]

Okay, what?

[Jean]

I'll say three.

[Mike]

Three.

[Pat]

I was gonna say three, too.

[Mike]

Okay. Okay. My only thing is with seductive pictures, like, I don't care if you love your body, you love your body. That better be on my phone before it hits me.

[Jean]

Yeah, it can't be some new shit.

[Mike]

It can't be like, I can't be in a gym and then get a Call from Mike. Like, like, yo, bro, you see what your girl posted? Like, no, I see what the.

[Jean]

They already got likes and comments.

[Mike]

Yeah, I got likes and comments.

[Pat]

The caption would have to, like, really matter about, like, the picture.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because, you know, like, beach pictures are beach pictures and like that. But it was like a. If it's like a ash. A ass pick on the beach and said, I know you wish you were here. Some like that. It's just like, what.

[Mike]

Who are you talking to? All right, all right. Hugs other guys during a greeting.

[Pat]

I'd put that eight.

[Mike]

Eight. Really low. Is it a type of hug? I really don't care. There's. There's no hug that a girl can do to a guy that would offend me. Unless she jumped up into the arms and he got the air.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I missed you so much.

[Pat]

Really? The dude too. Like, if the dude, like hugs your girl and then picks her up a little bit, then it's like, okay.

[Mike]

He tried to lean back. Trying to slide in there.

[Jean]

I'm gonna say five.

[Mike]

Five.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

G ain a little high head, bro.

[Jean]

Yeah, sometimes.

[Guest]

All right.

[Mike]

Goes to the club with her friend group.

[Pat]

That's low too, for me.

[Mike]

That's a lot.

[Pat]

I love eight. Seven.

[Mike]

Yeah, that would have been. That have been low on my list. I'd have put that all the way. Please go out with your friends. Yeah, I love a girl with some friends. Go out with your friends. The whole group.

[Jean]

Yeah, I know her friends.

[Mike]

Stay out till 3am, 4am I don't give a. I'm on the game right now. All right. All right. It might actually be 8. I might have up. Okay. Always comes home late.

[Pat]

Always.

[Jean]

Always.

[Pat]

It's. That's very open ended, though. Like.

[Mike]

Well, let's.

[Pat]

Let's say. Let's say. Let's say.

[Mike]

Let's say. Let's say 2:30.

[Pat]

Do with a job.

[Mike]

Has nothing to do with a job.

[Jean]

Late means like, not when. Like after. After she said she was gonna, you know.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Gotta be late to you. Right?

[Jean]

You know, after your partner said they was gonna.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. We all. We got the same preferences just for everybody listening.

[Jean]

Oh, yeah. So they can relate to it.

[Pat]

That'll be middle of the pack 5.

[Mike]

Middle of the pack.

[Jean]

Always. It's crazy.

[Mike]

Always is crazy. Always is crazy, bro.

[Pat]

I think it's very hard because of me already being in relationships. I think I have to think of like a hypothetical girl that I'm not in a relationship with.

[Mike]

The thing about, it's like, if I'm

[Pat]

thinking about what now it's like there's a. There has to be a good reason for it.

[Mike]

I just don't like being put in position because I'm a tit for tat ass person. And that's my biggest flaw in a relationship. I'm very tit for tat and I'm trying to work on that. So if you coming home late, which is 2:33am I'm coming home at 7am with a Starbucks coffee. Like, hey, I was last night the.

[Jean]

No, no, my timing be bad sometimes I'll just be like, I'm leaving. 15 minutes. I guess you can come home 15 minutes late.

[Mike]

What do you got that middle to pass for me? Okay. Has a guy best friend.

[Pat]

That's low for me too.

[Jean]

Usually the guy best friend is a gay best friend.

[Pat]

So you. And usually it's like if it's a guy best friend. No guy best friend. After we started dating, like there she

[Mike]

can't pick up a guy friend, but she can pick up a girlfriend. No, no, she's contradicting yourself.

[Pat]

No, no, no. She can pick up a guy. A guy friend. But a guy best friend, A guy turning to a best friend after you already dated.

[Mike]

How long, how long do he get? Like, let's say he's been around. Like he started being her friend and you was cool. He kind of your friend too.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And then they develop like how long they got. What if they there for four years? Can that be her best friend?

[Pat]

No. I don't have a problem with a guy best friend though. Like, if it was somebody, especially somebody before me, like, I can't control that. That's your best friend.

[Mike]

That's what before, it's just like, bro, if y' all been fucking, y' all can. I mean, I guess y' all still fucking. It's cool with me, you know what I mean? Y' all got longevity, man. I'm not here to ruin shit, bro. Here to be a part of the team.

[Pat]

But like to be a guy best friend after is just a lot. I think it would be the same for me to develop a new girl best friend after we started dating. It's just like I spending a lot. It's just a lot of time to be spent in a lot of like.

[Mike]

Just be real, bro.

[Pat]

What?

[Jean]

Yeah. Where are you gonna put it?

[Mike]

Just be real. Just be real. Just be real.

[Pat]

6.

[Mike]

You're lying.

[Jean]

That was your first answer.

[Pat]

Yeah, that was.

[Mike]

Yeah, you already.

[Pat]

I got a seven.

[Jean]

No, you already use seven.

[Mike]

Yeah, you six.

[Jean]

Seven.

[Mike]

We already use it.

[Pat]

So I got four.

[Mike]

You really got to bump it up. Yeah. The thing about it is, like, everybody's going to like run away from this question, but it's really based on attractiveness in.

[Jean]

In the.

[Mike]

And if you view that person as a threat.

[Jean]

Yeah. What they're interested in.

[Mike]

Yeah. Just like, you know, I'm saying this person, if he a DJ and shit and like, oh, I'm going to talk with my boy best friend, he djing at such and such. And then she popping in at 4am and just like, all right, let's see what time that DJ next week. Oh my God, the DJ got shot.

[Cole]

Wow.

[Mike]

Okay, so this the next one writes or DMS other guys on some friend on some friendly stuff. But DMS other guys.

[Pat]

What I got left? I got. Do I got any low numbers left?

[Jean]

He only got one and two.

[Pat]

Oh, man, I would have to put that too.

[Mike]

Well, choose you. I'm hip.

[Jean]

The last. The last one is probably. I ain't gonna lie.

[Pat]

That's why I've been trying to save mine because I'm like, I don't want to like.

[Jean]

Nah, just.

[Guest]

No.

[Jean]

Hell no.

[Fat]

No, that's.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

What about you, fat?

[Mike]

What?

[Pat]

Where you put that word?

[Mike]

This rank.

[Pat]

Yeah. I know you haven't been ranking like,

[Mike]

like regular DMS with other guys.

[Jean]

My thing is way that I'mma know is if. Dude, what if you know a coming up to me and saying, yo, your girl DM'd me type. Cuz I'm not trying to go through her phone and I'm not even looking for this.

[Mike]

You right on track. That's my only problem.

[Jean]

And that's crazy.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Jean]

Because out there like that, that's embarrassing.

[Mike]

As if if you witch your girl, you with your girl, right. And you supposed to trust her. You're supposed to trust her. All this like not trusting your girl is like bad for your health. If you don't trust your woman that bad, leave. Yeah, but it gets to the point of like, we know guys because we hang with those guys. Maybe some of us used to be those guys. Like being in the dms, we know a lot of guys are just some wait and see us niggas.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And they just wait and see it in their own. Like I would say, man, ladies, I'm sorry to tell you this about 80% of your male relationships, and I might be being generous, are based on. Because they're attracted to you and they only sitting there because they're attracted to you. Yes, absolutely. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to break it to you,

[Pat]

but what Is the guy's already in a relationship, waiting. You think so?

[Mike]

Sometimes. Sometimes it's not always waiting until that woman gets out of relationship. Sometimes it could be like they don't even know either.

[Fat]

It's.

[Mike]

It's in the back of their mind, they in a relationship, the girl in a relationship, everything fine. And then in five years, somehow they both single. Now he's shooting a shot at you because he was always attracted to you.

[Eugene]

You.

[Mike]

Because that's how most. I feel like that friendship starts. It's just like there was some attraction by one person, and that's what got them close. And another person was just like, I don't know about all that.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And now all of a sudden, he your best friend and out of here.

[Pat]

What was the last one?

[Mike]

Have sex with other people. You smart, man. I hate smart.

[Pat]

I knew it.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Cole]

Yo, what it do?

[Pat]

What it do?

[Fat]

Not much, man.

[Mike]

Chilling, chilling.

[Fat]

This crazy on the pod.

[Pat]

Yes, sir.

[Eugene]

Crazy.

[Pat]

I got a question for you. What's the worst opening line you've used on the app?

[Fat]

The worst line I use on the app?

[Mike]

Yeah, you.

[Cole]

Damn.

[Fat]

Oh, say, I was just on some troll said, mom, probably ask somebody there. They know how to scream without the S, you know, I'm saying, if they

[Mike]

know how to do what,

[Fat]

They know how to scream without the ass. I was also trolling. Said, no, it was for real. For real. It was just some troll type. Hell yeah, man.

[Mike]

You got anything to say, bro? We about to. We about to hang up, so you might as well say what you got to say.

[Pat]

Would you rather ask him to. Would you rather.

[Mike]

Yo, yo, I got. Would you rather. For you.

[Fat]

I bet.

[Eugene]

Bet.

[Mike]

All right. Would you rather marry your ex or work the first job you ever had forever?

[Guest]

Damn.

[Fat]

Do I get to pick which X or.

[Mike]

Nah, your last one.

[Fat]

Damn. Yeah. I'm working my last job. I can't. I can't do that.

[Mike]

What's wrong with your last ex?

[Fat]

Well, to be honest, only. Damn. So I don't even remember which one it was, man. I got a. I got a lot of going on, man. I don't even know if I can claim it as my ex.

[Mike]

What happened? You know, we a safe place.

[Fat]

All right, so.

[Guest]

Damn.

[Fat]

All right. So I got, like, three BMs, like, right? And crazy. I started talking to them. I started talking to them. She was talking to another, so.

[Pat]

So you say. Wait, say that again.

[Fat]

All right. So my BM started talking to another dude. So why she was talking to him? I started talking to another girl on my birthday. Got this Pregnant. Oh, my God. She told my crib up. She broke my window, broke my computer.

[Mike]

Because you got pregnant. I'm confused, bro. All right, so you got three baby mamas, right?

[Cole]

Huh?

[Mike]

Okay, is this. So this is your first baby mama.

[Fat]

So this is my.

[Cole]

No, this.

[Fat]

He gonna make my. My last. My third baby mama.

[Mike]

That's what you say the first two times. So what do you mean? You got. She got pregnant on your birthday, did she?

[Fat]

The first day we link. We like the first. We've linked one times. We whatever. Got it over with. A couple weeks later, she told us to see pregnant.

[Pat]

It's funny when dudes say that. Like they didn't like. Like they didn't like when you have sex with unprotected sex. You know that's what happens, right?

[Fat]

No, but I pulled g. I pulled

[Pat]

out his famous last words, bro. Go ahead.

[Mike]

How you get the first two BMs? I hate that word too.

[Fat]

My. For my first one, I was on some homeless ass, man. Met a girl, you know. Got it. Things happened to me. Huh. Started talking, whatever.

[Cole]

Had a baby.

[Mike]

Damn it.

[Fat]

Says one girl I knew since basically I was young as hell. We just recently had a baby a year ago. Did I make my second kid? I got five kids all together.

[Mike]

How old are you?

[Fat]

That's 20. 21.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Guest]

Usually.

[Fat]

Hey.

[Mike]

Holy. No. You're down 40 points in the fourth quarter, bro. They about to take a D. So you got five.

[Pat]

You got five kids? Three baby mom. Three baby moms.

[Fat]

Yes.

[Mike]

And you're 21.

[Fat]

Yeah, just turned 21.

[Pat]

How's your oldest kid?

[Fat]

One.

[Mike]

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Pat]

Oh, my gosh.

[Mike]

So you got a one year old. What's younger than that?

[Fat]

All right, so I got two more year olds, a four month old, and I got twins. That's on three months.

[Pat]

Wow.

[Mike]

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

[Fat]

The girl that. That's in jail, she saw, so she pregnant again.

[Mike]

The girl that's in jail.

[Pat]

Wait, what? Who went to jail? What the is going on? What kind of roster do you have?

[Fat]

Oh, my God. The girl that I said broke my. The My crib up. I sent the ass to jail. I can't take no chance. I can't go to jail. I'm trying to get all my kids. I try to get custody all my kids. So I can't go to jail. I had to sit her ass up there.

[Mike]

Oh, no. Okay. You know what's crazy is I never thought I meet a person like this. Like, this is God's strongest soldier right here.

[Pat]

This has to be him for sure.

[Mike]

This is him. You need to, like, get a vasectomy, though, like, real.

[Fat]

Oh, I'm not. I'm not having no more until I get married or something. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna settle down. When I settle down, I'm gonna give me a nice love. Nice little wife.

[Guest]

Bro.

[Jean]

Bro.

[Pat]

Get it for sex.

[Mike]

He said he gonna get a side piece. This is stupid, bro. No, he's cooked.

[Pat]

Oh, you said about to settle down.

[Mike]

Five kids at 21.

[Eugene]

Yeah.

[Fat]

You know, you gotta have a big family, man.

[Mike]

You are, like. You're like.

[Pat]

Man, that is rough. I can't imagine five kids now.

[Mike]

What do you do for a living?

[Guest]

I'm a cook. The cook.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

Are you, like, working? Like, what's your plan to make sure you're taking care of all five of your kids and you have custody of them and you make sure they all getting what they need?

[Fat]

Oh, well, I'm doing pretty good. I'm doing pretty good.

[Mike]

I wouldn't say that, but

[Eugene]

I got

[Fat]

my own place working. Always been working.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Fat]

Since I had my. Since I had my first kid. I'm working on getting.

[Mike]

No, keep going, though.

[Fat]

But, yeah, I'm working on getting something bigger so I can get all my kids in one place.

[Cole]

You know what I'm saying, man?

[Pat]

More power, too.

[Fat]

I did want to say I'm a big fan. I've been watching y' all since episode 100 and up. Yeah, this crazy. And I really think I was gonna.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Can I give you some advice?

[Cole]

Yeah. What's up?

[Mike]

Stop watching us. Like, go, like, go watch some finance channel.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like some stock market.

[Jean]

Some.

[Pat]

Like, some meditation.

[Fat]

Oh, I'll be paying for the patreon, too.

[Mike]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Say that for them kids.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

[Mike]

They. They need all the resources they can get. That is crazy, bro. 21.

[Pat]

Now the podcast might really be called Five Kids at 21.

[Mike]

No, that's crazy, bro.

[Fat]

Hey, man, you gotta. Gotta start somewhere, man.

[Mike]

All right, brother.

[Pat]

Just slow down, bro.

[Fat]

All right? I'm dope right now.

[Pat]

No, bro, actually, like, vasectomy, bro.

[Mike]

Like, cut it off, bro.

[Pat]

You know, you can, like. Yeah, yeah, you can reattach it and.

[Fat]

Nah, nah, I. I ain't trying to

[Cole]

go through all that.

[Mike]

Nah, man, you about to go through all.

[Pat]

Or just wear a condom.

[Fat]

Oh, Mike, I do have a. A question.

[Eugene]

Okay.

[Fat]

Any advice will be coming like a box. Like a professional boxer, because I do bots.

[Pat]

When did you start boxing

[Cole]

about.

[Fat]

I ain't really get into it about, like six months ago, but I've been into it for about a year.

[Pat]

I would just keep. Keep start amateur. Like, do it, Lou, like a local Golden Glove or something.

[Fat]

Damn, that city. Small as hell.

[Pat]

And honestly, you shouldn't be. You shouldn't want to be a professional boxer, bro. Find, like, an actual job. You just gonna pay, bro. You got five kids, bro.

[Fat]

I know. I'm still working this, but I'm.

[Pat]

You don't need no brain damage, brother. Take care of them kids.

[Cole]

All right?

[Mike]

That's what I'm saying.

[Jean]

All right, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah, brother.

[Cole]

Chill.

[Mike]

Welcome to Crash Podcast.

[Cole]

Appreciate it. Appreciate it. How you going?

[Pat]

Pretty good. Pretty good. Oh, damn. I got a question for you. What's the worst opening date? What's the worst opening line on a dating app?

[Cole]

All right, so, girl, you so bad, I gotta suck your dad just to see where you came from?

[Mike]

This is a line from you.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Cole]

This line for me.

[Mike]

Okay. Repeat it because I'm ready to beat you.

[Cole]

I know it's lit out there. I cold for Martin, but not, girl, you so bad, I gotta suck your dad just to see where you came from.

[Mike]

I like, were you willing?

[Cole]

I know it's a little out there.

[Mike]

I know it's out there.

[Pat]

A little out there. It's not even. Like, there's not downplay like that. Yeah, that's crazy.

[Mike]

It's crazy. It's like Jupiter, but, like. Okay, so was that just a line to be different? Crazy way to be different. But is that a line to be different, or are you willing to complete that line, like, actually put it to action?

[Cole]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was just. It was just gonna be different just to get her. You know what I mean? A little response type.

[Pat]

What was her response to that?

[Cole]

It went good. It went good to be fair. Nah. No, it didn't go good.

[Pat]

Oh, I would assume. What'd she say?

[Cole]

Well, she told me to send her some bread. So.

[Mike]

She just extorted you right off the bat?

[Cole]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

I'll get to. Did she. Was she threatening to post a message that you sent? Is that how she got money from you?

[Cole]

No, no, she was just saying, send us some bread, though. She was that type of girl. Just want bread.

[Pat]

Did you send.

[Cole]

You know what I mean? Transactional type relationship? Nah, I ain't respond.

[Pat]

So you would have sucked her dad's dick for no reason? Why did your head go to that? Why did your head go there, though? Like, what was your thought process behind that line? Why did you hear somewhere before?

[Mike]

Why'd your head go to her dad?

[Guest]

Not.

[Cole]

Nah. So, like, I was at work. Great. Homie was talking about this, and I

[Fat]

was like, you know what?

[Cole]

I'm gonna give it a shot type.

[Pat]

Wait, how did this conversation. How did the conversation start at work?

[Eugene]

Like,

[Cole]

so, like, we was chilling at work on off time, and bro was talking about, like, pickup lines and all that. I was talking about picking. I was with him. So he brought that up and I was like, you know, I'm give it a shot. I gave it a shot and it went a good response. She's wanting some bread. I was like, you know what? I'm gonna leave it alone.

[Mike]

So your homie was like, bro, you know how you really can stand out? Why don't you try to suck her daddy dick? Like, does that sound good to you, bro?

[Guest]

Like, you.

[Mike]

You and your homie are talking about sucking another man's dick to get his daughter's attention. Where is the community at this?

[Cole]

Hey, man, we was. We was on one that day. I ain't gonna lie.

[Mike]

Probably on each other. Hey, I can't put past you, brother. Don' about no a now.

[Jean]

I don't know.

[Cole]

All right, cool.

[Mike]

What you call me?

[Cole]

Cole. You like Cole for Martin?

[Mike]

Oh, you. Oh, you're saying I look like him?

[Cole]

Yeah. You never watch Cole. I mean, you never watch Martin.

[Mike]

No, no, no, no. I. I was trying to like, get the reference. I thought you made a sound like him. So you saying I look like him? I got you, bro.

[Pat]

All right, come on now.

[Fat]

My bad.

[Mike]

Call a man. Tiana Trump. That's crazy.

[Pat]

All right, bro. You have a good one, bro. Oh, you got a message for her dad.

[Cole]

I'm gonna miss.

[Mike]

He shot. He said he getting straight to it when he see. He said, I got no message for that, but you know what's going on.

[Cole]

All right, bro, you have a see where shorty came from.

[Mike]

Whoa, whoa, brother.

[Guest]

Yo, what's good?

[Pat]

What it do? What it do?

[Guest]

Appreciate that. Appreciate it.

[Mike]

Why are you talking about this funny? Nothing, nothing, nothing. You just got a stupid ass voice. All right, it goes Question. What's something you said? Like, what's something you said? I never do that. You absolutely did,

[Fat]

man.

[Guest]

Getting back with that one X.

[Mike]

Who. Who's this one X?

[Guest]

Nah, we was just. We just fighting a lot and push came to shove and one time she stabbed me. Yeah, we back now. Everything's good.

[Mike]

Okay. Okay. Stabbed you with what, though?

[Guest]

Scissors.

[Mike]

Did it actually puncture and cause a wound?

[Guest]

I mean, it was more. It was more like a slash than A stab, but still, like, the same. Like, same concept.

[Pat]

For what?

[Mike]

Why did she do it.

[Guest]

Now? Basically, I was, like, ignoring her the whole day. And then, mind you, we wasn't even together at the time, but I was ignoring her. And then she ran, like, and found me, and she found me with another girl,

[Eugene]

so.

[Pat]

Why'd you start that sentence with I was ignoring her all day?

[Guest]

What you mean?

[Pat]

You just said, I was ignoring her all day, and I just thought, like, it was, like, a normal thing that you just forgot to contact her or some, because you weren't dating. So where's. Where's she. Where were you at with this other girl?

[Guest]

Just. It was just in my room. But listen, the thing was, it was like, bro, she was like a friend, like. Like, from a long time ago.

[Mike]

Listen, you're not about to lie to us. Who cares? Okay, so. But how'd she find you? Does she break in your house? How'd she see you in the room?

[Guest]

Yeah, she just broke in and she

[Mike]

just starts stabbing you instantly with scissors?

[Guest]

No, no, she was, like, yelling and arguing, and then I took her to, like, the room because we was in the kitchen. And then I was, like, talking to her, trying to calm her down, and then she looked like she was calm, so I walked and I turned my back, and that's when she made her move to the scissors and grabbed them and, you know, I'm saying, went crazy.

[Mike]

How many times did she stab you?

[Guest]

Just once. Because after that, I kind of, like, grabbed her and, like, what?

[Pat]

Okay.

[Guest]

Held her down.

[Pat]

I didn't want to laugh at first either, because it's like, assault is assault. But why are you back,

[Guest]

man? That was, like, a long time ago. Like, people change. People grow. You gotta give them more opportunities. Okay.

[Mike]

How's the relationship going now?

[Guest]

It's actually better. It's. It's. You know, we turned a new leaf. You know, things are getting. Things are looking a lot better.

[Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Mike]

Is she near you?

[Guest]

No, not right now. She's out to dinner with her family.

[Mike]

Okay. Okay. Are you. Are you planning on marrying her?

[Guest]

I'm young. I'm young.

[Mike]

So how old are you?

[Guest]

19.

[Pat]

How long did it take you to get back with her? Because you guys weren't even dating. So how long from the. The stabbing did you get back with her?

[Guest]

Well, that event happened like. Like beginning of the school year, so I want to say, like, September. And then we got back, like, December.

[Mike]

So two months after she stabbed you, y' all got back together?

[Guest]

That's two months. Damn. I don't even know.

[Pat]

Well, I think it might be three.

[Mike]

Two or three same. You know what I mean?

[Guest]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[Mike]

Are you scared of her? Are you scared she's gonna stab you again if y' all argue like that?

[Guest]

No, I mean, I'm like. I'm not like, a. Like, a small dude, so I know, like, I can, like. Like, she'll never, like, be able to actually hurt me. Like, it was really just a scar, but.

[Mike]

Okay, like, let's say. Let's say. Let's say she. Like. Let's say she's out with her family right now, right. And you're not feeling a relationship for some reason. If you call her and say it's over, do you feel safe?

[Guest]

I mean, I'll just have to, you know what I'm saying? You know, wash my back. But, I mean, I feel safe enough to the point where, like, I'll, like, I'll still be able to live. I'll just be more cautious, you know?

[Pat]

We're really nice. You got so much life to live, bro.

[Mike]

You need a new girl, bro. How you gonna lie to you?

[Pat]

I just wouldn't. Like me personally, that would have been, like, the last straw. Like, somebody's crazy enough to do that. I don't mean to call your girl crazy, but.

[Mike]

No, your girl's crazy as.

[Pat]

But if somebody's crazy enough to do that, then it's like, you never know. But you said, hey, if you trust her, you trust her, bro.

[Mike]

I'm sure you go to sleep around her.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You know, no one's happening.

[Eugene]

You sleep.

[Guest]

Nah, y'.

[Cole]

All.

[Guest]

Y' all definitely had, like, something. I feel like every man goes through something with another female that. It's like, man, she's crazy. But. Yeah, we're still. You still gotta see it through.

[Pat]

But there's, like, levels of crazy. Like, I've never been with anybody that's stabbing me like crazy ever.

[Guest]

So then what's the craziest thing someone has done that you've, like, just, like, yell at it?

[Pat]

Maybe even throwing stuff.

[Mike]

Yeah. Scream. Throwing stuff around me in the city. Maybe I'd rather get swung on. You know what I'm saying? But to stab me, you don't. She don't know what could have happened with that scissors. What if you were uncoordinated and actually didn't it accidentally went through your heart or some.

[Guest]

I guess it's all the same. Throwing, yelling, stabbing.

[Mike]

Yeah, you whipped, brother.

[Pat]

All right, bro. Is this your first girlfriend?

[Fat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

There it is. He ain't never had none Before. Got it.

[Pat]

I promise you, brother, it gets better. Just.

[Mike]

Yeah, you ain't got to settle for that. You know what I'm saying? If you want to just take your time and it's. There's more women out there, bro.

[Pat]

All right, bro. You have a good one. Be safe. All right.

[Guest]

All right. See y'.

[Cole]

All.

[Mike]

Cook. Yo,

[Cole]

yo, what's up, Pat?

[Mike]

Welcome to Crashing Me's podcast, bro.

[Cole]

Thank you, man. I appreciate you guys, man. Y' all like, damn, I'm gonna glaze it. Y' all like my top one podcast man?

[Mike]

Number one, baby. All right, I got a question for you.

[Cole]

Yes, sir.

[Mike]

What's something you said? I'd never do that. You absolutely did.

[Cole]

Cheat on my girl, bro. See, I'm a black man, and I'm only 20 right now, but she know my girl gotta be the thing I said I would never do. But I did that, bro. I ain't gonna lie. I did that.

[Pat]

Did she catch you or you did?

[Fat]

The only reason.

[Pat]

Go ahead.

[Cole]

Oh, no. Go ahead.

[Pat]

No, no. Go ahead.

[Cole]

All right. So the only reason why I cheated, though, is I'm a man close to God. I feel like, hey, God, I'm one of God. Terrible.

[Pat]

That's a way that's.

[Mike]

Never say that in that order again. Yeah, yeah, don't do that.

[Pat]

Do not start anything, like, with God.

[Mike]

Just start why you cheated. Yeah, don't leave God out of this.

[Cole]

Can I say my intuition, like.

[Pat]

Okay, okay.

[Eugene]

Go ahead, bro.

[Cole]

Go ahead, bro. Like, he sent me us. Like, something was giving me, like, you know, that feeling, like, in your stomach and, like, you kind of get, like, damn, something going on. Something wrong going on. Okay, Like. Like. Like, I feel like someone was talking behind my back and, like, my girl was cheating on me. So I'm like, man. And, like, the visor off. Like, she was acting weird. He was in high school. Like, this is my first, like, baddie, too, at the time. So I'm like, damn, bro, she really could be doing me bad right now. And I look bad. Like. And to be honest, I'm not an ugly. Like, I'm not too far from handsome, but I'm also not far from ugly, so.

[Pat]

No, I see what you're like.

[Cole]

Yeah, so it's like, I was like, it, bro. I'm gonna have to cheat.

[Mike]

How tall is you?

[Cole]

Huh?

[Mike]

How tall are you?

[Cole]

I don't see what that has to do with, like, I'm five, six.

[Mike]

Okay? It just, like, give me a visual for the story.

[Jean]

All right?

[Mike]

But just tell us why you cheated and did she Catch you or not?

[Cole]

Damn. She. Did she catch me? She didn't catch me the first time. Yeah, she didn't catch me the first time. She called me the second time, but it wasn't, like, fully on cheating. And the whole thing is, though, I cheated just right on time because, bruh, she came on me with a white, bro.

[Fat]

Yeah, I was right.

[Cole]

That's what I'm saying, bro. It was all in the power of God, bro.

[Pat]

You know the funny part? He's really true because he live in this picture I just looked at. He got a suit on and he has a big ass cross on.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You gotta stop.

[Cole]

Come on, now.

[Mike]

You gotta stop bringing God into this. There's just like, what? Yeah, they're just two people with free will doing. You know what I'm saying? So, anywho, y' all still together?

[Cole]

Oh, no, we broke up, man. Like, we. We. This was like when I was in high school. I'm, like, 20 now. I'm in sophomore in my college year. This was like,

[Mike]

how's college going, Pips week?

[Cole]

Oh, God, my voice. Not that deep.

[Pat]

Well, I with you,

[Cole]

but not cars going good, man. I'm going theatrically. I'm being a model. I got some. I don't. I don't really think I'm dropping out, honestly. I'm going to, like, a community college, and I'm working on doing YouTube. I actually want to start a podcast, like you guys, my friends, so.

[Mike]

Hey, man, you never know. It could be two friends. Y' all could be more popular than us one day. Put us on. Make sure you put us on.

[Cole]

Absolutely, absolutely. I actually want to collab with you guys in the future later on, so. Hey, man, that'd be cool.

[Mike]

Let's meet at the top.

[Pat]

Some fake motivational ass. Meet at the top,

[Mike]

bro. You could be. He could be the next famous podcast, you know what I'm saying? Then he could be like, man, I remember them crashing on me. Some little. And then he invite us on the pod, and then we get ours.

[Cole]

But you're gonna be up.

[Mike]

Yeah, we're gonna be up. He's gonna have to work a little bit hard. A little, man.

[Pat]

My God. All right, bro. You have a good one, man.

[Cole]

Yeah. All right.

[Eugene]

Hey.

[Pat]

Oh, he's gonna say something. I hung up too quick. I'm gonna call him back now. I feel bad now.

[Mike]

Oh, damn.

[Pat]

Because everybody be saying, I hang up. I'd be hanging up on people too fast.

[Cole]

But this was like, yo, now you good. But I ain't gonna lie. I Was just having a good next fight.

[Pat]

You said what?

[Cole]

I don't know when you know. I said have a good next fight, though. I don't know when your next one.

[Mike]

And you hung up in this space. You're a bad person.

[Pat]

I appreciate that, man. You have a good night, man.

[Fat]

Man.

[Cole]

Me too, bro.

[Mike]

I'm gonna name this little man Cheats.

[Eugene]

What's going on?

[Mike]

What's up, dude?

[Pat]

I got a question for you. What's the worst opening line on a dating app that you use?

[Eugene]

So this goes.

[Cole]

What was it?

[Eugene]

Oh, I bet I know how you like your. Your eggs in the morning, and you're supposed to say how and then you, like, fertilized and then that's it.

[Mike]

Yeah, I bet that is it. Yeah, I bet exactly where that conversation ends. Have you used this before?

[Eugene]

I haven't used it. Like, not. Not that I know of. Not over the apps. I think more in person because, like, if they get a smile or something, that you can kind of just play it off of that. Like, you know, just a dumb, corny joke.

[Pat]

Like, this is like, before you even, like, know their names.

[Eugene]

Yeah, maybe. I don't know, man. I haven't really been. I've been using pickup lines or out and picking up girls at the bars for a while.

[Pat]

You're in a relationship?

[Eugene]

Yeah, I am.

[Mike]

How long you been in a relationship?

[Eugene]

Me and my girl been together for about a year and a half now. We got a kid on the way.

[Guest]

Oh, wow.

[Mike]

Are you about to get married?

[Eugene]

We will after. I mean, probably after the kid.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay. I'm just glad you got a plan, bro.

[Pat]

Boy fertilizer eggs here. I guess does that. Did you use that line on her?

[Eugene]

No, I don't think so. Because, like, I was even telling her because I'm, like, sick of right now. So she's not. She's pregnant. So she's like. She's at her house, and I was telling her that y' all were about to call.

[Mike]

I got a question for you.

[Eugene]

What's up?

[Mike]

All right. Would you rather have a baby with your ex girlfriend or work your first job forever?

[Eugene]

My first job forever, probably. Damn, Man. I'm thinking probably with my. Probably with my ex. My first job. It was like I worked for, like a.

[Cole]

It was.

[Eugene]

I worked at a car wash actually in high school. Like, I ain't trying to wash cars forever.

[Mike]

Okay, so, like, your ex must have not been that bad then.

[Eugene]

No, the reason I say that is because, like, you know, I'm excited to be a dad. I know I'll be a really good dad. My ex had a lot of fucking problems, and she probably would have gave the baby to me so I could be like, fuck it, I'll take the baby. I got plenty of help from parents and family. Plus, you know, I could probably get a check from the state.

[Mike]

You got it all figured out, huh?

[Guest]

Dead ass.

[Eugene]

I was just saying, like, hey, you guys, too.

[Guest]

What's up? How y' all doing?

[Mike]

Good. How you doing, bro?

[Guest]

I can't complain, bro.

[Mike]

I can't complain.

[Cole]

How about you?

[Mike]

Welcome to the podcast, bro. None of that small talk.

[Guest]

What's up?

[Mike]

This is negative question.

[Pat]

All right, I got a question for you. What's the worst opening. What's the worst opening line on a dating app?

[Mike]

Oh, obviously it's gonna be, are you

[Guest]

part of the Cream team or the squirt squad? I mean, obviously I wouldn't use it

[Mike]

because you did get.

[Guest]

I'm sure it would work.

[Pat]

You've used this before.

[Guest]

I ain't gonna use it. No.

[Mike]

Hell no, bro.

[Guest]

No. I saw a meme about it, and

[Mike]

then I looked it up. Apparently, it's a Mike shirt song.

[Guest]

So that's my fault, I guess.

[Mike]

You know, came on the pod to tell us about a meme he saw.

[Guest]

Yes, sir.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, my bad. That's cool, though. If a homeless man gave you lottery numbers and you won $21 million, how much are you giving him?

[Pat]

1. $21 million. And the homeless man gave me those numbers. I slide him, too.

[Mike]

Too mil.

[Pat]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mike]

Okay. What about Eugene?

[Jean]

You said 2 million for him out of what?

[Mike]

21 million?

[Jean]

I'll probably give him one.

[Mike]

One million million.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I'll probably give him one meal.

[Jean]

Oh, that's gonna be hard, though.

[Mike]

No, no, no, no. One meal.

[Fat]

Here's a.

[Mike]

Here's a combo.

[Pat]

Also, I wouldn't tell him that I won the lottery.

[Mike]

Yeah. Because, you know, he gonna tell everybody.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

Like you basically his nephew, you.

[Pat]

After that, I would just make it seem like I'm doing, like, Like a good deed for him, type of.

[Mike]

Oh, you like, like, you that one dude?

[Pat]

Yeah, the MD Motivator.

[Mike]

Hey, you mind if I borrow a dollar?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I don't even need this dollar. Here's a house in the car. Like, what the.

[Pat]

No, I. I like those videos. Those videos be, like. Be super dope. No, I think sometimes, though, it's like some people was like, oh, why do you have to record, like, the. You doing good deeds and shit like that? I think I don't mind it sometimes because, like, there's a lot of negative shit that goes on in the world anyway. And it gets recorded. So it's like, why not record something positive? Although there are some people that clout Chase doing those type of things.

[Mike]

People complain about that though.

[Pat]

Yeah, people will be complaining about that.

[Mike]

I feel like there's like a money threshold for sure. Like, okay, if I'm out giving the homeless cheeseburgers, they technically could have ran into this cheeseburger today on their own. I don't need to have a camera in their face. But if I buy a. A house, best believe it's gonna be 4K cameras around that. Okay. Okay, thank me one more time at this angle right here.

[Pat]

That's real.

[Mike]

Real.

[Pat]

Oh man, Desmond. We got some breakups in the, in the, in the horizon. So what's his name? Desmond and Christy, that popular tick tock couple.

[Mike]

The Scots.

[Pat]

The Scots. No, they recently split over infidelity. On Desmond's side, he put out like a statement and saying that he wanted to leave. It was basically apologizing and saying he wanted to leave. He brought it up to be leaving and then him not going through it kind of made him, you know, do things that he regrets. This is interesting. I think the people are really hurt about this one. But it also is like, it is the interesting part of like people are really, really invested in like these celebrity like relationships.

[Mike]

You can't, you can't fault people for this one though.

[Pat]

No, you can't. You can, you can though. No, you can't.

[Mike]

Not this one at all.

[Pat]

You don't think so?

[Jean]

Well, hell no.

[Pat]

But I'm just saying people, I think people just saying that this as like

[Jean]

a couple girls or this is the

[Pat]

type of love I deserve or this is the type of thing.

[Mike]

No. To be invested. They, they, they deserve it because they made money off of it.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Mike]

When you make money off doing a certain thing, when it comes crashing down, you can't be mad that people probe at that certain thing.

[Pat]

No, I don't, I'm not. I don't think people should probe. I'm just saying in general of people always thinking the grass is greener on the other side or just because the way people are couples like that they don't ever obviously know you're not going to arguing and how it's presented like that. I think the, the reality of it.

[Jean]

Yeah. False depiction of.

[Pat]

Yeah. So I think that's like the thing I kind of want. Like this kind of like brings back the earth on people is just like all these relationships. You see, people are Going through shit.

[Mike]

I've been off that shit after that Jada and Will Smith shit. I'm through like that. Shit like that, man. You know how many times I want that Jada in that will know. The fuck I don't.

[Jean]

I think one of the things that stood out when I was looking at the article was like, they met when they were 14 years old.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Jean]

They've known each other like.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And I saw somebody say that. I think it was ice. It was like, met at 14, married for this and that, which I think think was going to happen. And I do think it's like. I think the meaning of that is, like, you change a lot. Like, the who you are at 14 could definitely be different when you're older and stuff like that. But I also don't know in their business as well. But I think too, when you get popular in that sense of things, there's like, you feel like you've never really experienced anything else. It can't. Probably can lead to shit like that. I'm not saying it's right though, either.

[Mike]

You change at different paces. Like, if you take. If you take a couple that's like, from Alabama, right. And they from a small town and their chemistry works well together, they probably gonna be married for 50, 60 years. There's no distractions from the outside world. But if you give a couple that's been together since 14 and then in the next three or four years, you give them both instant fame. And now, like, a lot of guys have never experienced this, but, like, I'm gonna let y' all know now, There are women that don't give a that you in a relationship.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And there are attractive women that don't give a that you are in your relationship. And there are attractive women. Yes, there are attractive women that don't give a that you're in a relationship and will also help you hide it from your significant other. It's just like. And I think some men think that's not realistic until they get in that situation and then they too far gone. But also heard another theory about it. I heard they're Jehovah Witnesses.

[Pat]

I don't know.

[Mike]

I don't know if that's true or not. And I heard the only way to divorce as a Jehovah Witness is infidelity. Like, you can't just have, like, this. Can't have like a regular. Like a regular divorce, y'.

[Eugene]

All.

[Pat]

I have to do it.

[Mike]

Like, hey, you might have had to, bro.

[Pat]

I think even the word infidelity in. In the the lawsuit or the. The divorce? Divorce filing.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Is also pretty evident because, like, that's kind of like. Especially when it comes to, like, assets and stuff like that, how things are split. Like, if the guy's at fault, it kind of, you know, because, you know, she created her tick tock first, but it was. A lot of it was to do with him as well.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So he didn't even get a tick tock till later, and he got like, a million followers like that. Yep. So I don't know. It's just like a one. I always saw their content. I really like. For the longest, I didn't even know their. Their names.

[Mike]

Yeah. Divorce is generally only permitted in cases of adultery.

[Jean]

Facts.

[Mike]

So if they Jehovah Witness. We got to confirm that, though first. Throw a whole religion on them first, then come up with the scenario. Let's just say they was Jehovah Witness.

[Pat]

Can you look this up?

[Mike]

If I say they is they. Is they gonna do come on our show and say it's not.

[Pat]

Allegedly.

[Mike]

It says allegedly.

[Pat]

No.

[Mike]

Oh, are you trying to save us in court?

[Pat]

It's very not famous.

[Mike]

Erase those witnesses. Oh, come on, man. My source is good, bro. My Uncle Ronnie got this. Listen, nephew, they both Jehovah Witnesses. No, that's crazy.

[Pat]

Oh, man. What else I got?

[Mike]

You dropped the clues line for me. Appreciate it. For.

[Guest]

For.

[Mike]

Also for people asking us to come to different cities during our quote unquote tour, which we're not technically on tour. We're just going to different cities just to put that out there. So we're not gonna, like, no official tour. Yeah. We're not gonna give you a rollout of a bunch of new dates coming. But for people asking for those specific cities or, like, states that, you know, nobody else goes to either, like Utah,

[Pat]

there was actually a lot of people who, after you made.

[Mike]

Bro, they was on my ass, bro. It's still, like, what? It still wasn't 500, but it was like. It was like 80 of them. No, it was a lot of people. I'm not gonna lie. But I'm not. I'm not saying we never come to Utah, but I will say the more popular that y' all help us get and the more knowing y' all help us get, then cities and states like that will be a breeze for us, because obviously we want to touch all those places, but we're just saying, like, most of those places, like, bruh, come on, now. It's gonna be 70, 70 of us in a room. And then what? Now we in Utah for The night where we gonna go?

[Pat]

Ain't doing no mixer here for you. Is there a difference between being sneaky and being private?

[Mike]

Being sneaky and being private?

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Pat]

In terms of like, we'll say like, private is like, I don't own all the Internet shit. And then like, sneaky is more like don't touch my phone. Yeah.

[Mike]

It's like I feel like for like

[Pat]

relationships, like if you're in a relationship and you don't like, you know, it'll

[Mike]

have to be talking more talking stages, right?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like what you, what you release. It's definitely a thin ass line, you know what I'm saying? Because like, it could be something as simple as like a guy, you know, he has five kids, right? And he's been on three dates with a girl and he hasn't mentioned his kids yet. And it's just like he could be being private because he doesn't want to give a random stranger information about him that he doesn't know.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But it also could be being sneaky knowing that, oh, she might leave if I tell her I got five kids and five baby mamas.

[Jean]

That's where it comes, like, sneaky. It becomes sneaky when you know that they're gonna feel some type of way about it.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Jean]

Like if you don't care, then it's just private. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's like it's none of your business. Like, I didn't think.

[Pat]

I guess this question can only exist in the talking stage because like, if you're being sneaky or private with your, the person you're dating, then it's like, why?

[Mike]

No, girls don't play that. I'll be watching like girlfriend and boyfriend pranks. Sometimes it pop up on my algorithm and, and there's one where it's like the dudes be asking their girlfriends to get out while they take off their shirt.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, oh, I'm about to get naked, can you get out? And them girls do not be playing that. Like once you in a relationship, your woman like thinks like, oh, was mine is yours if I'm balling you ball and tear it up.

[Jean]

Check your body.

[Mike]

Yeah, every inch. Why are your balls empty, man?

[Pat]

Be cold as hell.

[Mike]

And like, what do you mean my balls are empty? Okay. I whacked off when you was gone. There, there, you got it. You got it. Let him go. Fuck.

[Pat]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

Now I had a dude. There was a dude that I knew. His girlfriend knew every time that he came and he was like, man, I don't Know what it is? She just know. And then it was like, one time he did it on a weekend she was away, and he told her not. And she told him not to, and he did it. And when she got back, she forced him to watch the video that he did it to with her. And they sat there and watched it. I was like, that's insane, man. Please get the divorce papers out now. You need to leave.

[Pat]

The Internet is. I think it's time to retire the word gaslighting. Because I think the Internet is really giving it, like, it's not giving it the same meaning anymore. I feel like gaslighting now, like, it's like, it just means, like, you remember

[Mike]

things differently now you're trying to gaslight.

[Pat]

No, but I'm just saying it's just like, I feel like everybody. I just think, like, the Internet, you know, you see those videos on Tick Tock, it's like basically saying, if you're your. Your man did this. My ex did this and this and that. And then everybody. Now everybody has, like, a narcissist ex boyfriend. And it's just like, y' all just weren't vibing. Doesn't mean he's a narcissist. Y' all just weren't compatible. I think people give labels to things that are not the true meaning of things. Like, gaslighting is a real thing. Being a narcissist is a real thing. But do I believe that 50 of these people in this comments are saying their ex is a narcissist? No. Like, you guys are misdiagnosing something.

[Mike]

I also don't think, like, people are like, I like what you're saying, but I don't think it's being misdiagnosed. I think people are taking very small moments and then putting it plastering on that person after they leave the situation. Because technically, we've all been the narcissist before. Technically, we've all been toxic before.

[Pat]

Gaslit.

[Mike]

We've all yelled at somebody before. Like, I've never put my hands on nobody before, but, like, I've had hands put on me. You know what I mean? Just like, like, everybody's, like, been in a situation where if that person left and that was the most recent thing they remember, they can paint you as that. And I think that's what needs to stop. It's like, no, you were together five years, and you're telling me this person was a narcissist, so now I think you're stupid for being with a narcissist for five years. Like it don't make sense, bro. Let's take a shot. Okay, this is, this is why I don't with the Internet. Okay. There was this, there was this big black dude. You're weird. There's a big black dude. That's the way like he looked like he was like 6:3, 350 pounds. And he was in the middle of a park playing electric guitar in front of like a bunch of white people. It was a diverse crowd, but it was predominantly white. And it said, the caption said, this man single handedly keeping soul music alive, carrying the blues genre on his back back. And there was, there was a comment and it said he's also keeping soul food alive also. That's like, that's why you can't with the Internet. Then it was another video of. It was a dope video the NFL posted of Matt Stafford, quarterback for the Los Angeles Rams with his daughters after the game. I think he has like four daughters. It was a dope video seeing like a masculine football player like kneel down and talk with all four of his daughters. And one somebody in the comments said, yes, an interception for every daughter because he threw four pics that day. They're just like, like the Internet is like up and you just can't have good moments. Even tick tock used to be like

[Pat]

there's too many witty people out there.

[Mike]

Way too many witty people.

[Pat]

Maybe some that I see on Twitter is like wait, how the. How the this person like get this information? And the person might not even be like. You would think somebody with that much talent to be witty would be like a comedian or somebody really popular. It's just legit for the love of the game.

[Mike]

Like some of them be one hit wonders. Yeah, that's the up part about the game. Like this 100th video today that they commented on and then all the other comments got like a hundred likes collectively and this one got 10,000 and it's a banger. But I will say like now knowing like what comments do, like there's no point in comment no more bro.

[Pat]

Unless you like people still like go viral off their comments.

[Guest]

Comments.

[Pat]

There'd be comments where I see like we get like 10000 likes and stuff like that. People like fiend for that. No that the sec the second day, like stop liking comments. Like remove likes from comments. I bet you people wouldn't comment as much.

[Mike]

Damn.

[Pat]

If there was no reward for liking for.

[Mike]

For commenting, would they be able to comment under it too? That's the thing.

[Pat]

That's the. Yeah. That's the other thing. I feel like that would lead to more things though, like the reply to the comments. Okay. But I've seen things like, even in our Patreon comments, I've seen an argument be like 30 replies long. 30 replies long. And like, okay, at that point it's like y' all just trying to get the last word. Because I feel like after 5 replies back and forth, if you don't get your point across and there's no like, oh, I see where you're coming from. Or. Or there's another rebuttal is just like, leave it there.

[Jean]

No, I've seen, I've seen some long ass. Like, like 200 comments, right?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Jean]

And the thing is, like, when you start to comment, like, it starts to tag different people.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Jean]

Yeah. So two random people just started arguing and it's like five different people.

[Mike]

Who the you talking to?

[Pat]

I didn't even say that. Sometimes I'll be trying to like follow along what the argument is about. And then I started getting lost because sometimes they won't put in like chronological order. Yeah. So now I'm like, wait, why is he reacted to this like this? I was like, oh, okay. You find it out down the line. Now everything started to make makes sense. It's like a whole movie. It's like callbacks.

[Mike]

It's funny, like when I see comment, like people comment back and forth early and I see people arguing early sometimes, like, I'll like the comment of another person. Like, damn, he ate his ass up.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And then I'll come back and then the other person got all the likes. And I was like, damn, I was wrong about who's winning argument. It was just like that on Patreon. It was a dude. It's just like somebody was like, get off they dick. Get off patting Mike dick. And I'm just like, oh, ain't nobody gonna with this comment.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And it's the most liked comment. I'm like, damn. Like, how he win?

[Pat]

That's like the easy ones.

[Fat]

No.

[Mike]

Okay. All right. Tweet of the week.

[Pat]

All right, let's do it.

[Mike]

Somebody said, I'm still trying to understand what sort of persuasion happens at car yards for Nissan Juke to be the final decision. I, I like, I, you know, like everybody, everybody has.

[Pat]

Can you look at, look at Nissan Juke real quick?

[Mike]

This is, this is my only rule about cars. Right. Sometimes, like going through life, you got to get a car.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

No matter what it is. Nissan Juke look crazy right now. That should look crazy. But like, I've been there before and, and I've had cars that I really didn't want. Or sometimes you have a car that you don't even really like the way it looks.

[Pat]

But I didn't like my Ford Explorer.

[Mike]

I didn't like. I didn't really like my Jeep Compass when I had it. Like. But it's those people that have brand new ass cars and the car is ugly. Like it'd be like a BMW station wagon. It's just like why? It's like why that's a fifty thousand dollar car. Like why?

[Pat]

No there is like a thing. I, I definitely like have that feeling too with even these like million dollar cars or upper $300,000 cars. But then it's also like if I got that type of money, I just get some for the of it.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's like, it's like I understand that but I get. People are into different things and stuff but usually I feel like the reason you get into different things is because of money. Yeah, it's like money held you guys.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And then you develop the love for.

[Pat]

You take more risk.

[Mike]

Yeah, you take more risk. Yeah. But like, you know, having like buku amount of money and coming out in a Nissan Juke is crazy. I don't want my car to be named Jude. Like that sounds like your car's agile as bro.

[Pat]

Hey, I'm starting to become a four way stop sign bully.

[Mike]

You directing traffic, you said.

[Pat]

I'm saying like I don't. You know when you get to a four way stop sign there's always that awkward like everybody inching for it. Inching for it. I just go, now I just like you. I just go. Yeah, I'm tired of whole inching, inching. Now everybody's like, now you go, now you go. It's like I'm just going.

[Mike]

That's not fair to people though because I've just got like that too. And it's only because I have a new car and it's because of my takeoff speed. And I will say like I used to have a. Well I still have it but I, I have a Chevy Malibu, my old car. And it's like it's certain things that I didn't do in it because I know my takeoff speed a little off. So they might not see me accelerate when I'm accelerating and they don't see me taking, take off and they go the same time as me.

[Pat]

But I also don't do it in certain places.

[Mike]

Oh you know it. If I'm in the hood in Milwaukee. If I'm in the hood.

[Jean]

Come on now.

[Pat]

I'm letting the car behind the person go.

[Mike]

When I'm driving in Milwaukee in the hood, I stop at every intersection. I don't give a if it's a light or stop sign. Left, right, left or right. Because these little is crazy out here, bro. All right, another tweet. This is why I hate the American language. Because obviously you see those videos where words are spelled the exact same way and they're pronounced way different, but then you have little things like this that don't make sense. And it says, why do we pronounce the G twice in longevity?

[Pat]

Longevity.

[Cole]

Long.

[Pat]

Jackety, huh?

[Mike]

Like, why are we pronouncing the G twice?

[Pat]

It has only one G in it.

[Mike]

It's only one G. Longevity?

[Pat]

Yeah. I don't know. Longevity.

[Jean]

Longevity.

[Eugene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Is it longevity?

[Mike]

No, it's longevity.

[Pat]

I feel like you're just saying it like that.

[Mike]

Long. It's literally longevity. Because. Because the root of the word is long, right? Longevity means what?

[Pat]

I think you're saying long. Too hard, though.

[Mike]

No, it's not.

[Jean]

It's not. It's not an amount of jevity. It's longevity.

[Pat]

Longevity. Can you. Can you put that.

[Mike]

That's still two GS.

[Pat]

I don't give a what you say.

[Mike]

It's not longevity. Y' all know longevity.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Longevity.

[Jean]

Longevity.

[Mike]

Y' all literally changing the way y' all say the words. Y' all raging.

[Jean]

Let's see.

[Mike]

No, y' all rage.

[Jean]

I'm about to look it up right now, man. Oh, you got it.

[Cole]

We are looking at how to pronounce this word.

[Mike]

Who the is this?

[Cole]

How do you go about pronouncing this in British English? Because the American pronunciation is different. This is said British. Longevity. Longevity.

[Mike]

Oh, he's saying. He actually saying longevity.

[Cole]

However, it is usually pronounced as longevity. Longevity in American English.

[Guest]

Verses.

[Mike]

It's longevity.

[Pat]

Longevity.

[Mike]

It's longevity.

[Pat]

Longevity.

[Mike]

Longevity. Don't say longevity. You never said it like that. I could tell. You can tell when somebody is a first time assistant.

[Pat]

There's no way when, you know, when your friend say a word, when he say, you know, he's saying it wrong. You don't know he's saying it wrong until somebody else, like, says they're saying it wrong.

[Mike]

Okay. DM of the week. I'm gonna start doing this because I, I keep getting dms. I. I just want. I'm saying this DM to stop the dms. Okay? Somebody messaged me on a Sunday, which is today, which you're shooting if A man up Drake on you on camera and tell you to suck. John, you doing it or you gonna keep your pride? Listen, brother, I feel like the person

[Pat]

that would do that would already want to kill you anyway, so what's the point?

[Mike]

Or the person asking the question just wants to suck dick. He's just looking for scenarios. Man, I wish a would just tell me, hey, up that Drake on me, please. Like, calm down, man. Man, that's just way too horny, bro.

[Pat]

Oh, man. Anyway, that's been the pod. Appreciate y' all supporting. Get the Patreon. We are putting content out there. I was just live there for like an hour the last week, and we're gonna start going live, like, almost every week there. So that's be time to interact with us. What else? What else?

[Mike]

Subscribe on YouTube. I saw somebody in the comment say they literally been watching us for two years and realize they've never clicked the subscribe button. Even if you could find ourselves, you people on TikTok Instagram, it's a lot of y' all that see our stuff and y' all don't follow us. Yeah, that's good for you, but what about the next person? You know what I mean? It jumps on our algorithm when they. When you follow, like, share, subscribe, all that. So appreciate it. Appreciate y' all getting us this far. We got a long way to go. We trying to. Y' all want us to make it to the top. Y' all keep calling us underrated. That's how we become overrated. I'm literally trying to be overrated. I'm literally trying to say some in front of a crowd of 50, 000. That's not funny at all. And everybody have everybody dying laughing, you know what I'm saying? Like, chill out, Mike. That's so fun. That's what I'm trying to get, bro.

[Pat]

Yeah, I feel it. All right, y'. All. Peace.