He’s Cheating Starter Pack - Episode 226

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast – Episode 226: “He’s Cheating Starter Pack” Release Date: October 1, 2025

Episode Overview

Patrick Johnson and Michael Esiobu (Pat and Mike), joined occasionally by their friend Gene and several guests, dive into their signature blend of current events, audience advice, and absurd hypotheticals. This episode focuses heavily on relationships—especially suspicion, trust, and the red flags around cheating. The hosts also explore everyday topics like family money etiquette, taste evolution, body image, and wild personal stories from guests. As always, the vibe is unfiltered, teasing, and full of laugh-out-loud banter.

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Main Themes & Highlights

• Cheating and Relationship Red Flags
• Trust, Communication, and Social Media
• Food, Drinks, and How Taste Evolves
• Money: Borrowing Rules in the Family
• Self-Image, Insecurities, and Social Pressures
• Hilarious and Candid Listener Stories

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Key Segments and Discussion Points

1. Zion Williamson’s Internet Trails & “BBL Records” [00:00–01:48]

• Pat opens with a story about Zion Williamson, social media, and past rumors.
• Chat shifts to Mariah Mills' body, leading to a comedic riff about attention, temptation, and men’s reactions.
• Quote:
  “If Mariah Mills walk by me, I'm looking until she's out of view. And by the size of that ass, it might be a long time.” – Pat [01:20]
• Tone: Wildly candid in the Crash Dummies fashion.

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2. Nigeria Independence Day & Audience Comments [01:54–03:55]

• Quick shout-outs for Nigeria’s Independence Day and upcoming events (Gene’s fight, potential live show).
• Gene reads out a DM accusing them of sexism about women and sports.
• Pat and Gene clarify their points, pushing back at the accusation with jokes and overstated mockery.
• Quote:
  “You got the right to say anything you want, just like we do. And you a ass nigga. See how that work?” – Pat [05:01]

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3. Cranberry Juice Rants and Taste Evolution [05:16–11:48]

• Funny commentary about Ocean Spray and new flavors (like “cran-banana”).
• Debate about best/worst juices. Cranberry and lemonade get teased for “getting mixed with everybody.”
• Hosts riff on taste buds changing as you age and/or make more money.
• Discussion about appreciating things without necessarily liking them (e.g., black coffee, certain wines).
• Quote:
  “Lemonade might be number one because lemonade be fucking everybody, too. That's... yeah, like, lemonade. Lemonade a little slut, too.” – Pat [07:13]

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4. Acquired Tastes: Wine, IPA, and Adult Palates [11:15–13:02]

• Jean describes how spending more on wine changes your standards.
• Pat adds that sometimes the jump is more about branding after a certain price.

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5. Delivery Apps, Forgetfulness, and Raccoon Feasts [13:03–15:16]

• Viral DoorDash message and why delivery drivers sometimes get impatient.
• Pat shares sleeping through deliveries and unintentionally feeding his local raccoon population.
• Quote:
  “My shit used to be tore to pieces, but I used to feed them raccoons, like, at least, like, twice a week, bro.” – Pat [14:04]

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6. Family Loans: How Much Can They Ask For? [15:20–19:41]

• Deep dive into family/friend borrowing etiquette.
• Some ask why you’d even need $5. Others, if it’s a big ask, want a full explanation.
• Safety is a factor for big amounts; also, willingness depends on their track record.
• Quote:
  “Five grand is enough money to put on a nigga head. Like, imagine paying to kill yourself. Hey, bro, let me get 10 bands—go ahead, bro, I got it.” – Pat [17:58]

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7. Listener Calls: Suspicions about a Cheating Partner [20:00–27:39]

Caller #1: The "Cheating Starter Pack" Woman [20:56–27:39]

• She lists red flags: truck driver boyfriend, dreads, long bathroom breaks, phone always face down, refuses to add her on social media.
• Hosts are blunt, advise she probably already has her answer.
• Quote:
  “A truck driver… Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, now. You needed us to tell you this?” – Pat [24:17]
  “If you still feel that way, I think you should leave. It's only been a year, so it's not too late.” – Gene [26:27]

Caller #2: Threesomes Aren’t for Everyone [28:02–34:05]

• Guest shares awkward experience being a “third” in a drunken threesome and not knowing what to do.
• Hilarious play-by-play of the confusion and accidental cheerleading.
• Quote:
  “I was just like… trying to fake mode. And I was like, don't panic, girl.” – Caller [33:18]

Caller #3: Suspecting Her Boyfriend is Gay [34:40–42:41]

• She found the Grindr app and tells a saga of confronting her boyfriend.
• Hosts listen, express that cheating (no matter with whom) is an issue.
• Quote:
  “If I didn't eat pizza, why the fuck do I got Domino's app on my phone? The nigga eat pizza that love Dominoes.” – Pat [36:28]

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8. Other Hilarious and Wild Listener Stories [43:01–47:57]

• Callers reveal more awkward romantic, sexual, and “experimental” stories—including a story of accidental “butt plug launch” and tales from the sex shop.
• The energy stays light and teasing, with the hosts both fascinated and taken aback.

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9. Observations on Racism, Fast Food, and Comedic Timing [51:44–58:49]

• Story about a Mexican restaurant labeling a receipt “negro”; discussion about confronting “low-key” racism.
• Reflections on using sarcasm and how it can backfire with partners.
• Pat describes the dangers of comedic timing in school.
• Quote:
  “Racism tastes good... Sometimes they couldn't get the order wrong; it's a lot of white cars out there, but it's only one negro.” – Pat [53:28]

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10. Body Image, Dysmorphia, and Social Media Pressures [61:31–72:35]

• Debate over using PTO days to “just sleep” vs. travel
• Insightful conversations about body image, celebrity plastic surgery, and how social media amplifies insecurities (outfit repeats, etc.).
• Quote:
  “Now everybody's getting Botox. Like, people don't even like their facial expressions. You can't even see it anymore.” – Gene [68:18]
• Pat: “If somebody was like… I love your chest, but I ain't always had that, you know what I'm saying? And that go away anytime…”

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11. Misinformation of the Week & Zion’s “Weight Clause” [72:36–75:51]

• Pat brings up a viral misinformation tweet about a college football “white out” supposedly done to honor a right-wing pundit—actually, just Penn State’s tradition.
• More laughs about NBA star Zion Williamson’s weight clause in his contract.

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12. Modern Dating & “Spinning the Block” [75:51–80:56]

• Discussion about dating, routine daters, and whether people should accept partners who initially didn’t like them.
• Consensus: don’t accept “spin the block” situations if you were initially rejected out of type.
• Quote:
  “Why the fuck would you date somebody that didn't like you at some point?” – Pat [79:10]

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Notable Quotes/Moments

• “Lemonade might be number one because lemonade be fucking everybody, too.” – Pat [07:13]
• “My shit used to be tore to pieces, but I used to feed them raccoons, like, at least, like, twice a week, bro.” – Pat [14:04]
• “If I didn't eat pizza, why the fuck do I got Domino's app on my phone? The nigga eat pizza that love Dominoes.” – Pat [36:28]
• “Racism tastes good... it's a lot of white cars out there, but it's only one negro.” – Pat [53:28]
• “If somebody was like… I love your chest, but I ain't always had that, you know what I'm saying? And that go away anytime…” – Pat [69:58]
• “Now everybody's getting Botox… you can't even see [their faces] anymore. Everybody's starting to look the same now, too.” – Gene [68:18]
• “Why the fuck would you date somebody that didn't like you at some point?” – Pat [79:10]

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Memorable Moments

• The “Cheating Starter Pack” call: Truck driving, dreads, secretive phone behavior, bathroom breaks.
• Caller’s Grindr discovery saga and investigation
• “I was just like… trying to fake mode. And I was like, don't panic, girl.” [33:18]
• Debates about taste and money: wine, lemonade, “slutty” juices
• Delivery stories: feeding raccoons with DoorDash leftovers
• “Racism tastes good” riff after the receipt incident
• Discussion on body image spirals and plastic surgery anxieties

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Episode Structure & Flow

1. Celebrity gossip, internet trends (Zion Williamson, Mariah Mills)
2. Listener feedback and DMs
3. Juice and taste tangents
4. Family/friend borrowing etiquette
5. Open Q&A with listeners—relationship struggles, trust, sexuality, wild confessions
6. Reflections on modern dating and personal boundaries
7. Social commentary: racism, work culture, PTO, college stories
8. Body image, plastic surgery, social pressures
9. Misinformation and sports contracts
10. Final thoughts on “spinning the block” in relationships

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Overall Tone & Takeaway

Casual, raw, and playful. Pat, Mike, and Gene blend genuine advice with relentless roasting—creating an environment where wild stories and real struggles are both recognized and ridiculed. The episode is fast-paced, full of chemistry, and sticks to the show’s roots: real talk, wild hypotheticals, and the ongoing ridiculousness of human nature and the internet.

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For fans: Must-listen bits include the “Cheating Starter Pack” call [20:56–27:39], wine and juice debates [05:16–13:02], and the unfiltered trio responses to audience confessions about relationships and trust. The hosts’ banter is on full display—come for the jokes, stay for the relationship chaos!

Transcript

[Pat]

There's this old picture of Zion Williamson floating around on the Internet. There's a Caucasian woman when he was at Duke holding this picture up. It was a screenshot of a snapshot of him laying on his stomach. And the caption said, I have a big room. Come sleep with me. And basically, she was like, exposing him and stuff at the time. And somebody tweeted over that picture and said, zion has came a long way from this, but still has a long journey ahead of him. And somebody quoted that tweet and said, the good news, nigga, is you went the long way. The bad news and, nigga, is you went the wrong way. And it just.

[Gene]

He went to a girl that also exposed themselves. I don't even think he went, that's funny.

[Pat]

But it was different out because it was white women at first. And then it's just like, probably the biggest BBL that I've seen today by Mariah Mills.

[Gene]

Yes.

[Pat]

I wonder if there's a record for it. Like, I mean, I've never seen anything bigger. And it's like one of those things.

[Gene]

I've never seen anything bigger. Like, her ass is fat.

[Pat]

Like, what? That's probably, like. I pride myself on, like, if a woman is walking by me and I know that she's trying to show everybody that she has a big ass butt, I pride myself in not paying attention to that shit. I'm not looking at that shit. I'm not giving in to what you want.

[Mike]

I.

[Pat]

But if Mariah Mills walk by me, I'm looking until she's out of view. And by the size of that ass, it might be a long time. And I know some of y' all don't know who Mariah Mills is. And y' all like, damn, Pat, I never heard you talk about a woman like this. And it's not. When I say size of the ass, it's not like I'm calling it, like, oh, it's attractive. Like, damn, that's a big ass I'm talking about. Look it up on your phone right now. It's the biggest ass you've ever seen in your life.

[Gene]

Anyway, welcome to the Crash Dummies, episode 226.

[Pat]

226.

[Gene]

Oh, I forgot to say 22. Oh. Happy Independence Day to Nigeria. I thought you guys listen to this is I should have wore that jersey. But it's funny we post that repost.

[Pat]

Oh, you definitely should have wore that, bro. You not real.

[Gene]

It's already too late. And by the time we shot this already, we have to wear the Same thing. Anyway, okay.

[Pat]

Shout out to Jean. Yeah, I. I just want y' all to know that y' all just caught Gene on an off day. He not. Because it's a lot of y' all think that y' all gonna bully Gene not aware his shit. This just him like, he switch it up like this. Switch up. Y' all just caught him on a. On a random day. Y' all just saw him yesterday. Y' all be like, man, what the fuck? It was somebody, bro. It was somebody that said they didn't finish the episode because they couldn't get over the sock on G's head. They're like, I can't even get through this shit. It's like, bro, I honestly think there's, like, a small percentage of our fan base that wants to fuck Gene. And then they, like, get mad when they get too turned on, so they go to Cops like, I couldn't even finish this shit. Like, what?

[Gene]

Anyway, make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon. We just drop an episode there. What else we got? I got a fight coming up.

[Pat]

Yes, sir.

[Gene]

So in racing, November 22nd. The day before my birthday, actually. So come back. Fight birthday celebration. So if you guys want to come

[Pat]

to the fight after party, after.

[Gene]

Might do a little after party.

[Pat]

We doing an after party.

[Gene]

We might have a live show Chicago. We might have a live show announcement for you guys coming soon. It's going to be in January, most

[Pat]

likely, so couldn't get January 6th, though. Sorry. So y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Pat]

Some of y' all can still celebrate your holiday.

[Gene]

What do you call it? I want to actually start this pod with some hate from somebody that DM'd us.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Gene]

So. And it's actually somebody that probably listened. So that's why I'm saying at the top of the show, it says, I knew y' all were sexist. All those episodes. Y' all were hiding your sexism. What do you mean? You can't argue about sports with your girl. You know how many feminine women are into soccer, tennis, F1, etc, and I have note if that's the most sexist thing we've ever said, I am happy.

[Pat]

No, that's the. That's literally the person they asked to.

[Gene]

Like, they're so stupid.

[Pat]

The person that reads out loud in class, and then the teacher asks him, hey, what did you just read? And he can't understand. Like, he can't regurgitate it like that. There's no way he got that out that conversation. I just said I didn't want to be talking about Fantasy football with my woman. That's it. I don't even.

[Gene]

And it said argue. We didn't say talk about. Have discussions about. I don't want to argue about. I think I said football, too. Yeah, I don't want to argue about sports.

[Pat]

If my girl came up to me and was just like, oh, yeah, I think Russell Wilson shouldn't be benched. Like, okay, I don't give a fuck. You know what I'm saying? But, like, if I'm watching my Lions game and she's just like, ugh, y' all need to do such and such. And it's like, that's the shit. I don't know when to hear, you know what I'm saying? Oh, what's this dude name?

[Gene]

Oh, I can shout them out.

[Pat]

Shout them out.

[Gene]

J. JT24.

[Pat]

Hey, man. Shout out. I mean, everybody entitled today on the. No, just like, everybody, but just.

[Gene]

But to say we're hiding our sex system. Like, we're just been hiding it this whole time.

[Pat]

Everybody entitled today, bro. You got the right to say anything you want, just like we do. And you a ass nigga. See how that work? I did it. I said anything I want it.

[Gene]

Oh, man. Anyway, let's get to some actual stuff.

[Pat]

Okay, I got something. So I. I was recently scrolling the Internet and I saw a cranberry ocean spray. You know how they come out with different cranberry juices?

[Gene]

I didn't know they had different ones in the cranberry ocean spray.

[Pat]

Yeah, they got cran. But they do, like, crayon. Something like cranberry with it.

[Christian]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

And I saw crayon banana.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Pat]

And this is a cold tweet. Somebody said cranberry. Just be giving it up to anybody at this point. No, for real.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Cranberry be. Everybody the is going cran banana. The thing about it is just like, there's no way I'm drinking juice. And it's like, it's not. Because obviously when you do smoothies, bananas take over the whole smoothie. So you telling me you can make bananas into a juice? I don't even want to know what you're doing at that.

[Gene]

Fact.

[Pat]

These niggas lasering down bananas.

[Gene]

Cran apple.

[Pat]

What they got to cran apple?

[Guest Woman]

Cranberry.

[Gene]

They got.

[Pat]

They got it all, bro. Cranberry just be. I don't even know.

[Gene]

I hate that. I don't like cranberry. Cranberries in general.

[Pat]

You don't like cranberry juice?

[Gene]

No. My mom would buy cranberry juice.

[Pat]

Sus.

[Gene]

That's us. Really?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Gene]

My mom would buy cranberry juice because she knew that was something we didn't drink often. Okay. So she knew that was the only juice that would survive in the house. But it was like, apple juice and all this stuff. I think cranberry juice out of all the juices is cranberry might be first, and then grapefruit.

[Pat]

What's your. What's your top three juices? Because I already know what you're going to say. I know you like orange juice.

[Gene]

Orange juice is number one for sure.

[Pat]

That's your number one.

[Gene]

Okay. Number orange juice. I'm gonna go guava next.

[Pat]

Guava juice?

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Guava juice is fire.

[Guest Woman]

Okay.

[Gene]

And then I'm just going to stay classic with the apple juice.

[Pat]

Apple juice. Okay. Mine go like, apple juice. Lemonade.

[Gene]

I forgot about lemonade.

[Pat]

Orange juice. Lemonade. Lemonade might be number one because lemonade be fucking everybody, too. That's. Yeah, like, lemonade. Lemonade. A little slut, too. Yeah, Lemonade.

[Gene]

So there's hella lemonade flavors, but I think because it's such a light drink, you can just. It absorbs every other flavor.

[Pat]

Yeah. No, for real. Like, you can tell if a nigga's spitting your lemonade. Like, come on, bro. I know. But you know what? We went to a fair recently. I forgot when we got that lemonade.

[Gene]

Brady Street Days.

[Pat]

Yeah. And we got a lemonade. I never thought somebody could fuck up some lemonade, but, like, I'm at the age, like, if some shit is too sweet, I can't fuck with it. Like, have a bunch of sugar at the bottom.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

It just, like, bothers me. Like, with any food, that's the only thing that could fuck something up. Like, I've, like, different people cook for me, and I love. I appreciate the chefs that allow you to enhance the meal on your own.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Guest Woman]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because I've been around. I grew up around so many people that cook. Like, I got aunties and like that, and they try to, like, do it down to the exact taste. And like, sometimes, like, bro, why do these tacos taste like this? My.

[Gene]

It's. It's also interesting how your taste palette kind of changes a little bit, sometimes even, like, with how much money you start making. So. I know. I know my taste palette was a lot different in college when I was a broke college kid, to, like, what it is now because I was eating, like, tilapia and, like, buying the tilapia from Walmart, just frying that up. But I think.

[Pat]

I don't know, sound like you was talking in cold for a tilapia.

[Gene]

Tilapia.

[Pat]

I was like, wait, what was he doing in college? I'm trying to. Every time he tell a story like that, get crazy. I'd be like, where was that? Where was that?

[Gene]

Just to make sure that is so true. Because a lot of it, like, our craziest. A lot of our crazy moment, because me and Pat, we've known each other for, like, 10 years. So a lot of, like, the highlights and lowlights of our lives, one of us was somewhere in the moment there or in close proximity of it. So you always got to think about, especially as a story that you don't remember, like, oh, bro, remember in college, these 10 dudes jumped me, right? And then you're like, damn, where the was I when this happened?

[Pat]

It was always a girl involved. You was dating such and such. There we go. Trauma moment. What was he talking about just before? Why you start talking about tilapia in the first place?

[Gene]

You say I sound like I was talking in code. I like our taste palates.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what I like about the taste palette thing. Going back to that is I love drinking IPA in a nigga face and watching him cringe like, yes, I'm more of a man than you, bitch.

[Gene]

No, ipa?

[Pat]

You like ipa? No, but it's just a. It's just the fact if I'm around, I get an IPA on purpose because ain't nobody about to hold me. You know what I'm saying? Them IPA dudes think they some fucking bullies. Like, hey, man, try this mushroom Swiss ipa. And then they try to look at your face like, no, I'm enjoying it. How about that?

[Gene]

It's also true, too. Like, as you age, you start to appreciate the taste of things without necessarily liking that thing. Let me just give you an example.

[Pat]

Go ahead, go ahead.

[Gene]

I appreciate you trying to be mature because you were fine. You were fighting, and I was like, what am I saying? I said, okay, I get it. That sounds wild.

[Pat]

But there's another pause moment. I was about to explode,

[Gene]

But I was doing a coffee tasting, right? I don't drink black coffee. Black coffee's never been my thing, right? But now I think as I'm older now, and a coffee I like, I drink a lot of different types of coffee, but always has some type of milk in it, right? But now I can taste it. I don't like black coffee, but I could understand, like, why this is good. I can understand why this is, like, a good quality coffee.

[Pat]

Yeah. That, like, even in wines.

[Gene]

There's some wines I don't really care for, but then you can like, oh, this is a really good quality wine. Even though this is not a wine I would personally drink myself. But it's good quality.

[Pat]

I think that's how you acquire taste though, is that you have to have the worst of that kind is when you, when you drink like barefoot wine. Right. She'd give you a headache.

[Gene]

Blah, blah, blah.

[Pat]

And then you drink the best moscato in the world. Then you like moscato. You like that Moscato that like that's how I got into wine. That's how I used to hate like cab and all that shit. Like, I'm good on no dry ass red wine. And then like you had that cheap dry red wine and you had to keep drinking it and then you finally had some upper echelon shit and you're like, God damn.

[Gene]

There's also a, a point of no return for me with like really good wine. I feel like once you for me, for nobody kill me. The wine condo suers. There's a certain price point you get to, let's call it $150. Whereas any other more expensive wine. I don't think the, I don't think the. There's a big difference between like 150wine and a thousand dollar wine. Correct, but there's a big difference between a twenty dollar wine and $150 wine.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Gene]

Or $200.

[Pat]

Anything above that.

[Guest Woman]

Yeah.

[Gene]

At that point you' branding and everything else. And the marketing.

[Guest Woman]

Aging.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the aging and stuff like that.

[Pat]

Better poop my bottle. Where my bottle at? Just wait, sit on the table.

[Gene]

They'd be like, oh, this wine is a hundred years age. And like that. I'm like, the person that made this wine didn't even want me to drink this wine.

[Pat]

This wine has actually been inside this nigga for 10 years. Bring them out. Just a nigga limping that shit. This human store wide. They slice a nigga open right in front of you. Call this a C section right here.

[Gene]

Oh man,

[Pat]

there's not a tweet of the week little meme here. There was a door dash driver that sent a message. You know, usually they say, hey, I've arrived. That's the message you usually get when Uber eats doordash. And it said, message from your doordasher. Be on point when I pull up. I'm not gonna lie, bro.

[Gene]

I get it though, sometimes.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They used to be taking all day to come down and get their food Because I've been there where I was like. Because you kind of. Anybody that order food, you kind of want to forget that you order food.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So it gets there faster in your head, like, especially if you hungry and you want to, like, you go play the video game, you go edit or do some shit. But, like, you. Sometimes you actually forget. And you. Five minutes, they've been sitting down there five minutes, and, like, they'd be like, damn, I would hate for that to be me. So I get it sometimes, but because

[Gene]

I've seen, like, especially on the weekends, I came back late, right? I see people's Uber orders at our apartment, like, on the. At the front door, like, the front lobby door that you need the keypad to kind of get into, right? So I always know that because I know that's like the party crowd that or the crowd that, like, getting high late at night is like, oh, shit, I'm hungry as hell. And they fell asleep on their Uber driver. I guess sometimes they don't want to be waved there.

[Pat]

Boy, so many times you slept on

[Gene]

your Uber driver, bro.

[Pat]

So I used to. I used to sleep so much that I had to set because I was. Still wanted the chance to get my food. Yeah, I was one of the people that, like, as soon as I touched the door, I was falling asleep, so I don't even know why I was ordering in the first place. And there's been so many times, like, the delivery driver just took my food, so I had to start putting my preference as leave at the door. So just in case I nod off, I still got a chance to get my food. Well, I didn't know I lived in, like, a neighborhood full of raccoons, bro. My shit used to be tore to pieces, but I used to feed them raccoons, like, at least, like, twice a week, bro. I used to get down. I even caught him one night. Hey, I whacked the fuck out of one of them little. And I'm a whole ass. This is why I'm a whole ass. Because it was two big ones and, like, five little ones. I waited till the big ones ran off and one quartered a little. It's like, tell your family this.

[Gene]

Little. All right, I got a question for y'.

[Christian]

All.

[Gene]

What's the max amount of money a family member can borrow without an explanation?

[Pat]

Whatever. It depends on who it is, though. Like, if my dad was like, I'm not explaining what I need, but I need 10,000. Yeah, I give him 10,000 because I know he. He a natural born hustler. And I know he come back to me. One of my sisters asked for 10k.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I need a detailed plan of. Matter of fact, we stand on FaceTime till you pay me my. It's about to be the longest FaceTime ever.

[Gene]

Mine works in reverse as well. I think if somebody asked me for too low amount of money, I'm asking questions. If somebody, like, I. If my little brother, you know, my younger brother asked me for $5, I'm asking them, like, why do you need just $5 from me? Like, it's just too a low of amount. Because there's a bigger problem here. There's no way. You're not like, what do you need $5 for? It just. It's not. It seems like you're gonna buy something very pointless. And also, why are you that broke that you need $5 from me? So it's a lot of questions to be answered.

[Pat]

It's all about the timing, too. Like, hey, I need to borrow a certain amount of money, and I need it in a month and a half. I got you. Now I can, you know, stop ordering Uber eat. You know what I mean? I can actually save money to give to you by cutting out a couple extra things.

[Gene]

But do people ever do it that way?

[Pat]

No, it's always the fucking I need. I need 2900 by when they kicking me out in an hour. Like, the fuck some people.

[Gene]

But some people try to, like, exhaust all avenues before they start asking people that too, though.

[Pat]

Like, it depends on, like, obviously, if it's my sisters, like, dad, mom, brother, like, whoever it is, like, if I'm the first person, that's cool, but if it's like a cousin and I just be like, oh, what? What did your mom say? I asked her yet?

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Oh, okay.

[Pat]

Honestly, like, for me, you don't matter

[Gene]

a dollar a month.

[Guest Woman]

Ask for what?

[Pat]

Yeah, for me to just do the task for them.

[Guest Woman]

You know what I'm saying?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, that's. That's true too. Because sometimes you might have a guy for that. Like, you might be asking me a thousand dollars to fix a rim, and then I know somebody that can do it for cheaper. You know what I'm saying?

[Gene]

For me, my mom. For my mom, it definitely. Like, I would say, like, five grand. If you asked me for five grand out of nowhere, I would have to ask, why?

[Mike]

Because.

[Gene]

Just a random five grand. But any other money is just like, okay, whatever, right? Like all 500. It could just be like, I'm giving her this amount of money just because. But it is like, Five grand. And I kind of want to know again, like, what it is because I'm like, they might be a cheaper option there where I can help you out for less money.

[Pat]

And this is. It's also for safety reasons. Yeah. Because like five grand is enough money to put on a nigga head. Like, imagine paying to kill yourself. Hey, bro, let me get 10 bands. Go ahead, bro. I got it.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Wow.

[Gene]

And I know it depends on the person. Like if it's a somebody I kind of know or a friend and they asked me for like just say a grand or $1,000. I know they're in so much trouble that they needed this money. I want to now know the plan of how I'm going to get this. Or it's like, I even want like, who do you owe that much money to?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Imagine your mom coming to you. I need 250. I need to come up with $250,000 by like Tuesday is like, okay.

[Mike]

Something.

[Gene]

There's a deeper issue here.

[Christian]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Pat]

Whatever you did, you did it.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Trying to serve that time. And also it's about the history of the person.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Pat]

It's about the history, like, depends on, like if Gene asked me for a thousand, that I know that, you know what I mean? Like, he might need this. He might got. He might need to protect himself or some. I need a thousand, bro. I need an ak. Oh. Especially if a going to war or some. You don't want to help him with the war. Let me go get this a thousand. Yeah.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Before you try to come by my crib.

[Gene]

And

[Pat]

that'd be so up if you know your friend always instant beef and you wake up at 3am and you knock it on your door like, duh, bro.

[Gene]

That's. That's definitely a different way of like you're alleviating yourself a responsibility by just giving the money rather than if they need an actual item for you to submit something. Don't ask me for my car.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Don't ask me for a gun. Don't ask me for anything. A knife. There's a cash. You do whatever you want to do with that.

[Pat]

That's my new thing. Like, I don't have to help you move if I pay the movers.

[Guest Woman]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like anyt. Like a family member is like, oh, I need help moving.

[Christian]

Here.

[Pat]

Here's like 3, $400 to pay for the movers. Don't expect me to lift. Okay. Yo, what's the deal?

[Christian]

How's it going?

[Pat]

Good, good, good, good. Welcome to Crashing Me podcast.

[Christian]

Damn. Y' all sound good.

[Guest Woman]

Hey, what's up, Pat? My bad. My l for mic. Hey, mike, what's up?

[Christian]

How you doing, ben?

[Pat]

Put your pants on, baby girl.

[Guest Woman]

No, it's not for you, baby.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let's get to a question about.

[Gene]

You go first, bro.

[Pat]

You go first.

[Gene]

No, I was yours.

[Pat]

You want me to go first?

[Gene]

No. This is only. Though it's not the same person.

[Pat]

We can't go at the same time.

[Guest Woman]

Come on, y'. All, get us together.

[Pat]

All right, all right. I got a question for you.

[Guest Woman]

See, look, y' all flustered.

[Christian]

I like that.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no, no, no. Please, please. We're actually very high, so just. It's not you. All right? What?

[Christian]

Ready?

[Pat]

What's something that you think is true but you don't have the evidence to prove it?

[Christian]

Okay.

[Guest Woman]

I just know for a fact that my man is cheating.

[Gene]

Oh, damn.

[Pat]

For real?

[Guest Woman]

Like, I know it. I just. I just know it. I even got a list of why I think.

[Gene]

So that's the other list.

[Guest Woman]

Yes. Okay, so number one, he a truck driver. Can't trust them.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Guest Woman]

He travels a lot.

[Pat]

Okay, you got that one, too.

[Guest Woman]

Right?

[Christian]

Right. Okay, go ahead.

[Guest Woman]

He got dreads.

[Pat]

Okay. Okay.

[Guest Woman]

They always lies in them dreads.

[Christian]

Okay.

[Guest Woman]

Okay, so the third one is. Y' all got time tripping or not. He spends way too long in the bathroom. We'll be in the middle of a movie, and he'll be like, oh, pause it real quick. And he'll be gone for, like, two hours. I'm a little crazy, I swear to God. What are you doing in there for two hours? Oh, I had to take a shit.

[Pat]

For two hours.

[Gene]

Okay, are you saying two hours, like, you're exaggerating or, like, legit two hours?

[Guest Woman]

No, no, I've timed it before.

[Pat]

Oh, he.

[Guest Woman]

He had timed it before.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Pat]

He had time to cheat and beat his meat, so. Yeah, he might have a whole other family.

[Gene]

No, for real, because you could talk to. You can pillow talk a little bit during two hours and talk to your

[Pat]

kids, too, and talk to, like, legit. Talk to the kids. Like, ask the kids about their day.

[Guest Woman]

Yeah.

[Pat]

To the point in there so long that the girl actually get tired of him and just be like, go to sleep, babe. We've been on the phone forever.

[Gene]

Up battle. No, you hang up.

[Guest Woman]

He even placed the phone in the shower.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah.

[Gene]

In the shower.

[Pat]

Well, okay, I got a question for you. In the shower, where does he. Where does he sleep with the phone? So, like, when y' all go to Bed. Where's the phone?

[Guest Woman]

Okay, that's another thing too. So we both have, like, nightstands on the side. So his house, he got nightstands on both sides. My house, we got nightstand on both sides.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Guest Woman]

He puts it on his nightstand. But no matter what we're doing, he puts his phone face down.

[Gene]

I'm a face down phone.

[Pat]

Yeah. It could be for his thought process. Like, he don't want to be. Is it on a charger?

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Guest Woman]

Give her a say.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Guest Woman]

But everywhere we go now, it's a

[Pat]

lot of complaining, but you can go through that nigga phone. Okay, so now just take a. Just take an energy drink.

[Gene]

So next question. Have you ever confronted him about this? About your suspicions?

[Guest Woman]

Okay, so I like to believe that I'm a great communicator, and I've come to him like, hey, babe, it's kind of suspicious. I kind of feel some kind of way. You've been taking a lot of bathroom breaks. Whatever.

[Christian]

You cool?

[Guest Woman]

Everything all right? It's even to the point where I'm like, I randomly check him. Hey, how's our relationship going? Anything I can do better? Am I doing cool? Because I know I could be annoying sometimes I'm pretty clingy. So I be trying to check with, you know, my man, like, hey, we doing all right? Anything I need to work on? He tells me, you're fine, you're perfect or straight, but it's just something. And he won't add me on social media at all.

[Pat]

Oh, you should have lived with that.

[Gene]

Because he's crying.

[Pat]

Yeah. A truck driver. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on, now. You needed us to tell you this? This is fucked up.

[Gene]

You literally might have a whole nother family.

[Pat]

No country. You know what? Fuck you for putting us in this up position. There's no way you told any of your friends this and they just let you play house with this.

[Guest Woman]

But you can't let people in your relationship like that.

[Gene]

I feel it.

[Pat]

So let people in your relationship is basic information. My man won't even add me on Instagram. Like, what the is going on?

[Gene]

Okay, how long y' all been together?

[Guest Woman]

Coming up on here.

[Christian]

Oh.

[Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Mike]

Yuck.

[Guest Woman]

I love him.

[Pat]

Nah, this is. This.

[Guest Woman]

This is like, pat, come thank me, then. I'm a good step mommy. What's up?

[Gene]

I got kids.

[Pat]

Whoa, whoa, no, no. You. You might be lost a little bit. You need some time alone. Like, you need to. There's no way. Okay, the social media thing. Not one social media thing. So no Facebook, no Instagram. Can you See his.

[Guest Woman]

No. Nothing. Nope. It's private.

[Pat]

Oh, my God, you lied. Yeah, we got private.

[Guest Woman]

Yeah, I got my friends following. That's cool.

[Gene]

So he followed your friends back out on him?

[Guest Woman]

Yeah, but he don't know all my friends, though.

[Pat]

Oh, that means he trying to them.

[Guest Woman]

He had to take none of the bait. He hasn't been in none of the inboxes or anything.

[Pat]

This the fucked up part if, like, you got friends, but your friends ugly as hell, your man don't want them.

[Guest Woman]

A couple of them, though.

[Pat]

You gotta get some better friends. You gotta get some badder friends. You gotta get. You gotta stand. You gotta find a girl. Like, hey, just. Can you follow my man and see what he do? I got you. There's so many niggas mad at me right now. What the fuck are you doing?

[Guest Woman]

Nah, I sent the ugly ones and

[Christian]

a pretty one ones.

[Pat]

Oh, damn.

[Guest Woman]

Hey, can you take the red? Another one?

[Pat]

That's still crazy, though.

[Gene]

Yeah, it's.

[Guest Woman]

I. I know.

[Gene]

I mean, I hope things get better. I hope it's not true, but if you still feel that way, I think you should leave. It's only been a year, so it's not too late.

[Pat]

Hey, and listen, we could be. We could be totally wrong. You know what I mean? You might go through his phone and find some proposal plans and he cut you and end it all. You know what I'm saying?

[Gene]

So, like, the thing, though, is like,

[Guest Woman]

I don't believe in going through phones, though.

[Gene]

I know, but then you have to, like, nix that. You lit. The only way you're gonna. The only way you're gonna really find out and get the answers you need is you crashing out, essentially. Like, you have to. You probably have to go through his phone.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Gene]

You got to be willing to be wrong, though. Just know that there's no. Whichever way. There's no. Once you try, once you check the phone, just know the relationship is over regardless. Especially if you get caught catching us looking at the phone. If you get caught looking at the phone.

[Pat]

Wait, wait.

[Mike]

So.

[Pat]

So if you're not on any social media. This is my last question.

[Guest Woman]

Does he.

[Pat]

Does he go.

[Guest Woman]

He won't add me. You don't follow me. I don't follow him or nothing.

[Pat]

Okay. Does he go on social media around you

[Christian]

all the time?

[Guest Woman]

Scrolling.

[Gene]

All right, you have a good one.

[Pat]

Well, I thought you had another question.

[Gene]

Oh, God.

[Pat]

All right, all right. Amen.

[Gene]

You have a good one.

[Pat]

God bless your soul, brain.

[Guest Woman]

Hey.

[Pat]

Oh, no.

[Christian]

Hello?

[Gene]

Are you in a safe place?

[Christian]

17 seconds.

[Pat]

You got us on Speaker.

[Christian]

No, you have my AirPod.

[Pat]

Try to talk to your regular phone and see if that's better.

[Christian]

Talk to it or just.

[Gene]

Yeah, this is. This is good.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's better.

[Gene]

All right. Welcome to Crash Podcast. We got a question for you. What's one thing you tried that. What's one thing you tried or done that you would tell people to avoid?

[Christian]

Okay, so threesomes, bro. Because, like, they're so confusing. Like, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Like, I just feel like that's so much pressure and, like, so I don't know. Like, I know it's bomb, but.

[Gene]

So in the threesomes that you've been in, right, were you the one with the. The spouse or the whoever, or were

[Pat]

you the add on?

[Gene]

Yeah. Were you the relationship or were you that on?

[Christian]

No. So it was like, people we kind of just, like, knew. Like, I just like new people and, like, they used to be like, concert and all that type stuff, you know, and they're like, oh, let's do a threesome. Let's do a threesome. I'm like, you know, whatever. But one night I was like, fuck it, I'm drunk. Let's do it. I'm down.

[Pat]

Wait, wait, how are you. How are you getting approached?

[Gene]

Like this.

[Pat]

Is there something that they're seeing or hearing that just like, man, we gotta ask that girl to be involved in threesomes.

[Christian]

Do not stop me. Do not.

[Pat]

I'm just saying, like, how do they know?

[Christian]

I think, well, okay, so I used to be a dancer.

[Pat]

All right, there we go. Okay, let it out.

[Guest Woman]

There we go.

[Gene]

What type of dancer,

[Christian]

huh?

[Mike]

Mike?

[Christian]

I said ballet. Mike.

[Pat]

N. Fuck with it. Okay, okay, okay, okay. So that how they know. Okay, and then how are they evening time? How are they? How are they approaching you? So are they. Are they. So y' all all getting drunk and they just like, girl, you need to join us for this threesome.

[Christian]

Okay, so basically, like, Eric, hold up. Peace. Love. So basically, like, you know, and everything, but whatever. So I used to downtown, like, it was long ago. We used to always do, like. You're like. Usually when you dance, like, you might have, like, a partner you do little tricks and stuff with, you know? So me and her were, like, super cool. And it's this one dude that would come in the club all the time, and he was, like, like, hella bored on this. Like, it was like me and, like, three other girls. He was like, dang, I'll try to get y', all, like, like, at home to the ground. Nah, you know, I'm cool. Because I do think of. They're like a rapper. It's just like, oh, come on, Keep on me. And whatever. I chilled on there, whatever. But one day I was like, hella jump. And, like, I made, like, four talking, like, this one dude. And I was already like. I kind of was feeling it, but, you know, I wouldn't kind of do it like that, but basically, like, boom. And me talking to me and the girl, and I was like, you know what it. Let's try it. I'm gonna, you know, whatever. And she's like, okay. And I was like, no, you know, boom. But she's like, oh, somebody fine. You know, it's gonna be fun. Like, you find this first, so that'll be cool. And we're chilling or whatever, and I guess, like, they just kind of started, like, rubbing on each other inside. And I didn't know that that was, like, the cue, I guess. You feel me? So I just started texting like, I want my phone. Like, and then, like, dude starts, like, rubbing my thigh. But we were smoking, so I thought he was like, I had the blood for too long.

[Pat]

No, this is hilarious.

[Gene]

Oh, man.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Christian]

Like, making a story on Instagram. Type like, okay.

[Gene]

And then.

[Pat]

Okay, keep going.

[Christian]

No, the guy started hitting him. Kind of, like, kissing it. Oh, this is it. Like, this is. Okay. So I kind of started, like, rubbing the dude back. And, like, you know, she's, like, kind of kissing on him. And, like, they're looking, like, fuller. Making out. We're on the couch, and I'm kind of just like, I don't know where to. What to do, because who like, kids like, you haven't. You guys took both. You took the partner. Like, so what do I do?

[Gene]

It was supposed to Centipede. Document. Go ahead.

[Christian]

If I go and send him shouts,

[Pat]

no, no, no, no, no. Keep going, keep going, keep going.

[Christian]

So I was like. I didn't know what to do, so I was just like, I don't know, like, trying to fake mode. And I was like, don't panic, girl.

[Pat]

No way.

[Gene]

She turned to a cheerleader.

[Pat]

No, she said she was doing ad libs with the threesome. It's crazy. She was doing Jeezy ad libs. Okay. Yeah. No way. She was ad libbing.

[Christian]

And I did say yeah at one point. I was like, yeah,

[Pat]

no way. Okay. All right. I got a question that was very awkward.

[Gene]

I saw you answer two questions.

[Pat]

Answer two questions. So we'll do the other one. Okay. This is a crazy transition. What's something.

[Christian]

Okay, go ahead.

[Pat]

No, she deserves that silence. That was a long ass laugh. I'm not gonna lie. It's like an echo to it too. Like, that was like, at least three seconds of that laugh was very unnecessary. But it's okay. Are you ready?

[Christian]

Whatever.

[Pat]

All right. What's something that you think is true but you don't have all the evidence to prove it?

[Christian]

I think it might be gay. It's 80.

[Pat]

I say it a little bit. A little bit louder. I don't want you to get. I don't want to hear the door open up or. No, but you got to sit a little bit louder.

[Christian]

I think my nigga might be gay. Like, or at least mine. At least five. But I don't know. I can't, like, prove it, but, like, okay, what.

[Pat]

What evidence do you have?

[Christian]

Okay, so I was, like, looking on, Like, I was on his phone right now. Perfect. I was in material. I had to do some with my phone, and two of them was like, okay, find the nearby phone. And like, I used his phone. There was this weird t. I think, like a little yellow monkey or something. And I was like, what the is this? Like, so I tr. Like, look, it was recently. Open this. I'm like, okay. I didn't want to do it. Like, see me serious. I look and then like, okay. So then, like, I looked it up and I was like, grinder making What?

[Guest Woman]

Like,

[Gene]

did you talk to him about this?

[Christian]

Yeah, I did.

[Gene]

What do you say?

[Christian]

So first I did it first. I did. I'm not gonna hold that. I was like, I didn't know what to do. Like, and I'm a. What? You know what I mean? So I just let that shit slide. And I was like, slide?

[Gene]

What the.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no shame to anyone. Everybody love. Everybody love who you want. But you're in a relationship with a woman, and you have the Grindr app downloaded. If I didn't eat pizza, why the fuck do I got Domino's app on my phone? The nigga eat pizza that love dominoes.

[Mike]

What happened?

[Gene]

What happened when? What happened when you confronted him? What happened when you confronted him?

[Christian]

So, like, I have to. Well, okay, I don't really, like, slide shy, but I have to get my duck before, like, because I'm a little bit crazy. So I know I can pop up. You feel me? So I was just like, can't be that crazy. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not, I'm not. Thank you. That's so. So next thing I was like, are you not dating apps on your phone. And he was like, why would you ask me that? I was like, negative. And he was like, I feel like I'm sending more tough to ask that question. And I was like, I mean, I feel like I already know the answer. He's like, well, if you already know, then why'd you ask me? I said, so I started wearing gay questions. Like, I was like, ain't you ever been pegged, like, no way.

[Pat]

No way. You asked him the famous question, so you doing the bending. That's crazy. That's so crazy.

[Gene]

What is. What was his answer?

[Christian]

So actually, like, where he said he was like, hey, like. So I was just like. I didn't like, okay, I'm good. So I was like, let me see if I should get the actual, like thing. Because, like, you know, if it's not. If it's not true, I don't want to accuse him of nothing. You know what I mean? That's a huge accusation for me. So, boom, I see on his phone again, open. So then they got. I made a profile. So it. So I'm in the house. Everything. I'm trying to just roam around and see, because, like, if you don't know the binary app, I had to learn it that will say, like, this person is, like, two miles away. This person is, like, 270ft away. I'm in the living room and that talking about less than 100ft. And I feel like it was a whole profile. And I was like, all right. We were all just like, hey, yeah, can you get on real quick?

[Pat]

Can I ask a question real quick?

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Pat]

What was in his profile? Like, did. Did you read his profile?

[Christian]

Oh, my God. It was like, he said, it's like, I'm picky. I like. Like, I'm passing through on a late night. They need a twink. And I was like, here's the crazy part. Here's the crazy part, y'. All. So I'm cute as, right? But when I'm like, I cut my hair and everything and all that, I look like a blank sometimes. So I'm like, is that why this work?

[Gene]

No.

[Pat]

Oh, man.

[Gene]

You told to get home. And what happened?

[Christian]

I was like, hey. So I made up a whole lot of trying to, like, put proof on everything, right? So I was just like, you asked my name, Chris. You guys just like, what? I'm like, yes, my name, Christian. I know a couple Christians. I was like, yeah, I bet you do. So because my friend Chris said he knows you really well. He was like, oh, how you know me like, you ride bikes. You know what I'm saying? Because he's a bike. He motorcycles. And I was just like. I was like, no, he rides something else. Like, so I don't know the Godfather. And he said, no. He was like, what? No. I said, no. I was like, okay, because here's my thing. I found your Grinder account, and you literally have a picture of my son's bathtub in the background. So that's what's pissing me off. Like, so it's like, yeah, it's not a kid. I'm like, I did have a baby. So by him, I was just like, bro. Right? Yeah.

[Gene]

So did he admit to having the Grindr account?

[Christian]

Bro? He said so. He was like, I didn't mess nobody from there, you know? He was like, yeah, I have an average, but I'll show you why. And I was like, oh. I remember. I could see, like, this weird. Like, man, you like boys. That's wild. Like, and I'll disrespect to their, like, Alphabet community. Like, be a big one. Y' all be out there.

[Gene]

I mean, like, I guess it's still cheating regardless.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I mean, that's the whole thing of it.

[Christian]

Somebody else is cheating.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah. He got an app to cheat on you. That's crazy.

[Christian]

Indeed. There's a crazy. You do it as if I don't have your whole passcode, but. What?

[Gene]

So are you still. Are you still with him?

[Christian]

Where are you eating, America? I'm just staying home. The bug.

[Pat]

Wait, she says she's a stay at home mom. She says she noticed. Oh, she ain't going nowhere. Yeah, you might as well get the app too.

[Gene]

Hey, you said that'll be a good threesome experience, I guess for you then.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Like the full circle.

[Christian]

Like, two poles. That's bro. No. That's so much pressure. That's crazy. That's wild. Mike, what did you think about.

[Pat]

Yeah, that was kind of crazy. Mike said. Mike said, Mike said.

[Gene]

Full experience.

[Pat]

Mike said, oh, you just found out your man gang get a tray ran on.

[Gene]

She just talking about three, though.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[Gene]

For clip pur. For clip purposes, like, this is part of one clip. She was already talking about having a three, so.

[Pat]

I know.

[Gene]

I was just reintroducing you.

[Pat]

It don't matter though. It's still crazy, though. Hey, your man cheating on you. Get a train ran on you, girl. It'll fix everything. Still with him.

[Gene]

She still with him.

[Pat]

That she Just had a baby. What she supposed to do? What would you do if your son was at home? Come on, Mike don't know about that. That's how he got it.

[Gene]

All right, you have a good one.

[Christian]

All right. Hello.

[Pat]

Yo. Welcome to Cash Podcast. What's good?

[Christian]

You know, same thing, different day.

[Pat]

Type. Type.

[Gene]

The. The.

[Christian]

The.

[Gene]

The picture in the story was. Was me.

[Pat]

Why you asked if that was Mike in. In the picture? Post the one of him in a tuxedo for audio listeners.

[Christian]

Can you burst? That look like Mike?

[Pat]

Yeah, that's Mike.

[Christian]

Like, he was happy because I didn't want to sit down by him, but I didn't know if y' all was gonna be like, no, that's his. Like, oh, that's it.

[Pat]

Do kind of like Jamie Foxx a little bit.

[Gene]

We actually don't want to hear your answer to the question you answered. You answered something a while ago that we want to hear about.

[Christian]

So, boom, it was this one. But we was talking for a cool little maybe, like, she was kind of like my first, like, gay girl. You feel me? Like, real relationship. I was just going in this, like, I don't know. You told me. I met her on Tinder. We hung out a couple times. And, like, she was like, oh, yeah, I have sex with a girl. And I was just like, yeah. She was like, for real? No, like, no, I did it. Like, she's like, oh, okay. She's like, it's cool. Like, because some, like, gay girls have a problem with, like, you know, he recently had sex with guys, I guess, or whatever type shit. So attracted Ryan and sound, and she's like, well, what type of dudes do you date? And I was like, mostly black dudes. Well, she goes to her closet, and the front is like, hella Jordan. Like, like, literally Jordans and Nike. Like, just like a wannabe niggas. Like, not like that, like, but just, like, it. You feel me? So. But the front, it's like just a pair, like James, and then it's just some chump. And she moved the trucks down, and behind the Chucks, it's like a bunch of dildos. Just a bunch of dicks, right? And she pulled out this, like, thing. Like, it was like, I don't know, like, literally almost like a garter belt type, like, type thing. And she started taking, like, her clothes off, and I'm like, oh, wait. Like, okay, I don't know. Like, I don't know what I said to make this happen, but, like, all right. So she starts taking them out, like, and she goes she puts one on, and it was like. First I was like, it looks like 13 inches. She was like, oh, yeah. She's like. Like this way. And like, she splits it over. Like, she hugs y', all. And then. And she just, like, moves her hips. I don't know. Y' all can't see me, but, like, you know where, like, Dad's, like, swinging dick type thing. So she tries to do that. She said, like this. And I'm like, oh, she was helicoptering type shit.

[Pat]

No way. She had the most. She had to practice that for sure. That's the up part.

[Christian]

And I'm like, you a little chunky. So how you learn to do that? Like, yeah, you got the most. Okay, whatever from. So, boom. I was just like, sure. She goes. And I went on, you like this type, huh? So that was like 24 inches. Like, I could swear it was, like, 2ft long. But if you're like, wait, she went bigger after the bigger, bro. Like, it went bigger. So then, like, I was like, oh, my God. Like, this is too much. Like, no, I didn't say I'm escaped. She was like, I got this, too. You look like you might like these type of guys. And plus, I was like, this long, skinny dick, and I was like, what makes you feel like I like that? Because then I'll ask questions like, what type of woman do you think I am? But it was like, maybe, like, 10 inch, like, skinny snake.

[Pat]

Oh, she pulled out the pistol after. After taking out the AK and the bazooka. She said, okay, maybe you like pistol. That's crazy.

[Christian]

This the one for you. And I was just like, bro, I just hit this smoke. Like, I don't know. Like, this is wild.

[Pat]

Wait, wait. Was she clothed when she did all this?

[Christian]

She. She took off her boxing, so it was just like, shave cat.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know you're doing that on purpose.

[Gene]

Boxes is credit.

[Pat]

You're funny.

[Christian]

You didn't even get to with the PSDs or nothing. Like, she went straight to boxers.

[Pat]

Oh, like, real boxers.

[Gene]

Like, real, like, loose boxers.

[Pat]

Interesting.

[Gene]

With, like, with the button in the front,

[Christian]

like, with a little, like. With a little hole, you know?

[Pat]

No way. Oh, man. All right.

[Christian]

Helicopter type or 501 or some. Pull them down. Pull their boxes down. Both legs are light skins. We just see it real bad. It was crazy. But, yeah. I hope you have a good night.

[Pat]

Be careful out here. Welcome to Crash on me's podcast. What's the deal?

[Christian]

Not much.

[Mike]

Thanks for having me.

[Gene]

I got a question for you.

[Christian]

What's up?

[Pat]

Sound too good? Probably a lot of pitching.

[Christian]

Shut the up.

[Pat]

Oh, see, I knew, I knew I knew. You sound like you having a bad day.

[Gene]

All right.

[Pat]

You just went through a phone.

[Gene]

I could tell.

[Mike]

I just got out of the gym.

[Gene]

Oh, congrats.

[Pat]

What you work on? Did you do some legs, some cardio?

[Guest Woman]

I did upper body and cardio.

[Pat]

Upper body, Cardio.

[Mike]

Okay. All right.

[Pat]

I'm getting ripped tonight.

[Christian]

All right.

[Mike]

What's rip that?

[Gene]

Hey, what's one thing you tried or done that you would tell people to avoid?

[Mike]

So one time I was in college, mind you. Like, I was in an experimental phase, and my friend worked at a sex shop. And I went in there and I was just like, okay, like, get a couple things, you know, like, spice things up. And I got a butt plug. And I used it with the person that I was with at the time, the man. A man. And I don't know if it was, like, it wasn't enough room in there because his shit was kind of, like, dirty. But anyway, we were fucking, and at one point that shit just, like, shot out of my butt across the deck. Not gonna lie.

[Christian]

And it went.

[Pat]

I don't think so.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I don't think that. I don't think that's crazy.

[Mike]

It's not.

[Pat]

I don't think that's that crazy.

[Mike]

You wouldn't be turned off if you watched a butt plug shoot out of a girl's butt while you were.

[Pat]

I'll put it back in. It's called a plug for a reason. Sometime I don't think.

[Mike]

I think the problem. I think the problem was there wasn't enough room.

[Pat]

There wasn't enough room.

[Mike]

I don't think it would go back in.

[Pat]

Wait, wait, what? It won't go back.

[Mike]

I mean, why else would it.

[Pat]

You saying, like, the butt plug was too big?

[Mike]

Oh, no, I said, like, his was big.

[Pat]

Like, I'm not understanding where.

[Mike]

I mean, the, like, canals are right next to each other.

[Pat]

There's only like,

[Gene]

okay, the canal is crazy.

[Mike]

How old I'm not a.

[Gene]

Hey, squad would be.

[Pat]

I mean, you try, I guess you try some new stuff.

[Gene]

Something new.

[Pat]

Congrats to you.

[Gene]

Turn into a.

[Mike]

It wasn't for me.

[Pat]

No. No way.

[Gene]

That's stupid.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Gene]

They should just go try to return it, though.

[Mike]

Oh, no, I didn't.

[Gene]

What were you gonna say?

[Mike]

Never been you. I want to tell another story. Chill, Pat. Watch out before you need one. Okay, so a couple. Not even a couple episodes ago, a long time ago, Pat was telling this story about how he, like, went through a drive through in Like a chick fil a in, like, a racist town or something like that. And they put, like, black as his description who was in a, like, red car or something. I went to this taco place that's literally down the street from my house. I've been going there since, like, I can remember. And I was, like, looking at my receipt, and at the very bottom, it says negro. And my. My car is green. And so I was trying to figure out, like, what they meant by that.

[Pat]

You never. Did you confront them about it or you just kind of drove off?

[Mike]

No, I didn't see it until I went home because I was, like, looking at the receipt and I was like, wait, what the fuck?

[Pat]

No delay. Racism hurts so much.

[Guest Woman]

Yeah.

[Pat]

For you not to be able to do some shit about it, you're like, wait, hold on. No, that's crazy. Negro is crazy. At least you got your food done.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Was it good?

[Mike]

Yeah, they have firefish tacos.

[Pat]

Hey, they, hey. They want to get.

[Christian]

They.

[Mike]

Hey, racism tastes good.

[Pat]

Sometimes they couldn't get the order roll. You, like. All right, you can't this up. It's a lot of white cars out there, but it's only one negro. These fish tacos.

[Gene]

All right, you have a good one.

[Mike]

Have a good night, guys.

[Gene]

You too. Me too.

[Pat]

This one of the tweet of weeks is just a text message thread is literally all from the dude. It says, that was so smart not giving me pussy. Made me like you even more. But please don't make that a habit. What? So I. I say that to say this, it's just like, you ever accidentally, like, kind of, because I feel like we all think that we're good dudes, and we all think that we're respectable to women and, you know, like, sometimes you try to be sarcastic to the, like, the opposite of what you really are. You know what I'm saying? Like, you know, I'm a pretend. Like, I hate this when I really would never. You ever, like, tried that sarcasm with a woman? It's happened. I feel like it happened to every guy. And you, like, tried that sarcasm, like, nah, I ain't holding the door open for you.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Like, say some little shit like that, and she catch attitude like, you don't fucking got to, or some shit like that. And it's just like. Like, wait, why would you think that I would even say some shit like that? And it's because of shit like this,

[Gene]

but I said some shit to my. My girl today that was, like, me being sarcastic, but then it sounded weird because she was saying something to me, and she wasn't listening, right? So I was like, I'm done. What? She was saying something to me.

[Pat]

Oh, man, that sounds crazy. That setup sounds crazy. She wasn't listening to me. I get what you try to say.

[Gene]

It gets worse. It gets worse. So I was like, I'm done. I was just joking around. I was like, I'm done using my words in this house, right? I said, I'm just gonna talk with my hands now. And I was like, wait, that sounded so bad. I said, I'm done. I'm done using my words. I'm only talking my hands now, but in my head, I'm thinking, like, sign language. Yeah.

[Pat]

Now that's crazy. Now, that's so crazy. You gotta be careful.

[Gene]

I know you do.

[Pat]

My cousin got actually kicked out of his house because I think he was trying to tell a story, and his girl cut him off in the middle of the story to ask a question. And he was like. This one time, I had. He was telling this girl that he had a threesome in college, and he was trying to explain it, and she butted in, and he thought she was being sarcastic. And she asked. She was like, so you had a threesome in college? Was it two guys, a guy and a girl, blah, blah. And he's like, it was two dudes. He said when he looked up, she

[Mike]

was crying,

[Pat]

And he was like. And then he was like, wait, why would you say I said that? She was like, I don't know. Why would you say that? And why are you trying to walk back on your words? And I was just like. And usually I try to, like, give advice. Like, oh, I would have did such and such. But it's like, once you say some shit like that, and somebody just like, oh, I'm taking you serious on what you said. Even if you try to, like, take it back, it's gonna look like you panicking. Come on. Would I really say some shit like that? Nah, man.

[Gene]

Because then it just seems like you're doing your answers based on the reaction.

[Pat]

Exactly.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

There's no getting out of it. She was literally crying, and she kicked them out and everything. She was calling everybody. Like, I just want to know. That boy was getting Eiffel Tower by the football team. All right, all right. Tweeted a week. Okay. When you walk in the prison shower and you drop the soap on purpose and they yell, ugh, hell no.

[Gene]

Everybody has a type, though.

[Pat]

That's true.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Pat]

All right. In quotation marks. You're so funny.

[Gene]

Thanks.

[Pat]

They Used to put my desk in the hallway. Did you ever get your desk put in the hallway?

[Gene]

No. I've seen people maybe once or twice, bro.

[Pat]

I don't know if. If this was the reason, but sometimes I made the whole class laugh by accident. And everybody made the same type of comments I did. But I think it was my delivery and timing that made the whole class laugh. You know what I'm saying? Like, I forgot. I think I was in Spanish class legit. My teacher was a woman, Ms. Cop. Shout out to her. She started doing like, you know, a little dance, little salsa dance. And the class got quiet when she started doing. Everybody was talking. But when she started doing a salsa dance, the class got quiet. I said, damn, go off then. And the whole class laughed and she kicked me out. And it was just like when you had that comedic timing in high school. It was like the teachers hated that shit. Like, oh, you got the whole class laughing. Get the fuck off.

[Gene]

I feel like I didn't talk as much in school. I feel like I became more vocal actually probably in college. I was taught.

[Pat]

He was quiet at the beginning of college.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gene]

I didn't talk. I don't talk that much.

[Pat]

Mike used to.

[Gene]

I don't talk out. I don't really talk that much. Even to the like. This is the only time I feel like sometimes people approach me thinking I'm a super talkative dude. And I feel like I talk because I talk around my friends. But in real life, I think I'm a little more.

[Pat]

That's what I told. I used to tell Mike in college, just shut up after you make a big play. Because Mike will make some cold ass play in practice or the game, and then he'll say the lamest after. What?

[Christian]

What?

[Pat]

Mike will like catch the ball, stiff arm five, take it 50 yards versus rock, with university going crazy. And then he'd go up. That's too easy, bro.

[Guest Woman]

Don't say that.

[Pat]

Just be quiet. Is a liar.

[Gene]

I never said anything at college. I didn't talk in football like that.

[Christian]

No.

[Pat]

One time I was like, I talk shit.

[Gene]

This is the way I talk shit. Was like very like talk. Just normal talking to you. Like trying to have a conversation that has nothing to do with football on the field.

[Pat]

My shit talking in college was so elite. Cause mine was like, I lured them in. First quarter. I'm talking to you, Reg. Like, hey, bro, how you been? How you been? And then at the snap of a moment, I just turned bipolar. And I just be like, hey, bro, how you doing? He'd be like, I'm doing shut your bitch ass up, nigga. Scoreboard hoe ass, nigga.

[Gene]

That's how I used to do it. I look like, hey, bro, what y' all doing after this? Like, how. Start asking about the school and like that. And then I'm like, then you. L them to sleep, and they just want to cast a touchdown. And he snapped the ball and said, you think it's.

[Pat]

He can't guard me. I got a baby on me. The worst thing I ever did was this receiver that, like, kept talking, and I was just like, bro, like, if I get my hands on you, bro. And it was just like, usually, like, if a receiver catch a ball in front of you, it's a solo tackle as a corner and everybody watching. So you really do anything dirty. Rarely do receivers get tackled in piles. And he ran like a screen, and we all tackled him. And I literally legit. You can see on film. I'm late to the tackle because he ran inside. I dove under the pile, and I put two fingers in the back of his throat and made a throw up

[Christian]

at a. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

[Pat]

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Gag that. It was throw up all over my glove. Oh, my God. Oh, man. Threw up under the dog pile, man.

[Gene]

Oh, man.

[Pat]

This is a tweet. It's not funny. It's more informational. Okay, Americans are burning PTO pay time off. You don't know what that is if you ain't got no job and shit. Okay, Americans are burning PTO just to sleep instead of traveling.

[Gene]

Travel.

[Pat]

43% of millennials admit they've used paid vacation days to stay in bed.

[Gene]

And that's tough. I feel it, though.

[Pat]

It's like, what else they expect you to do with that shit?

[Guest Woman]

You know what I mean?

[Pat]

Like, if I go on vacation. Because people don't realize the. The first or second day after vacation is worse than anything. Like, bro, I got. I got a pile of dirty clothes. I'm sunburnt. The girl I went on a trip with don't with me no more.

[Gene]

Yeah, bro, I've seen so many dudes go on trips with a girl, and then they're not with that person like, the next week.

[Pat]

I don't.

[Guest Woman]

I don't.

[Gene]

I don't like the going on trips with girls you don't plan to. Obviously. Happens. Yeah, but sometimes you go, no, genius.

[Pat]

It's like a nice man. If you're going like a. It's like going on a group trip, though. I like that same Kind of vibe, but it's just a little more, you know, controlled. Some cities are better. I've done it before, I'll admit it.

[Christian]

Some.

[Pat]

Yeah, like, shot like traveling with a companion. Especially if, you know, like, the people you traveling with are like, I'm gonna do some dolo anyways. Yeah, like, walking around London alone is very creepy. You know, I mean, you might get stabbed in that.

[Gene]

I'm saying a girl that you're in a dating phase with. I'm talking about like maybe a month in, you guys go on a trip together.

[Pat]

That's kind of creepy, though. And you know what? If I offered a girl that and she said yes, I would immediately stop talking to her. Yeah, because there's no way you're that safe with me that you feel like we can go out of the country in a month. You know what I mean? Like crazy. Like your headspace ain't there. You ever seen a girl do something very unsafe?

[Gene]

But why is it not safe if it's another place? Because I've seen people that have been together for a month and then you start sleeping over their place or you sleep over their face one night. You think it's the same thing, kind of just a different location. I mean, it's.

[Pat]

I think it's a different level of trust.

[Christian]

For sure.

[Pat]

Yeah. Because then you're putting your safety in like the only other person that you're with. Yeah. You're relying on that person, like, purely for safety. And then now those. Your ID phone, all that, you decline so they can make you lose your ID phone and like that. You know what I mean? But like, it's easy to have your, like. Like if you're dating a girl, she got her location on all her friends.

[Guest Woman]

See.

[Pat]

And they all within a 10 mile radius, if that makes sense. And get. But now they looking at her location and it's like the middle of the ocean and the. Girl you want to boat.

[Gene]

But going back to what you were saying about like people taking PTO and stuff like that, I think it is a. A lot of people just want that. That sense of like, I don't have any responsibility for the day. Yeah. I want to just chill, sleep all day and relax and then come back to work, refresh. Like you said, like when you go on a vacation or you do some type of bender because you're taking the pto, you might not come back feeling refreshed. And you also might have like, it's kind of going from too much of a high sometimes to back to that, like, low of having to work your job that you probably don't like.

[Pat]

Yeah, bro, Seeing the world will make you hate the city.

[Gene]

Yeah, exactly.

[Pat]

I'll be coming back like when we go and we do our LA trips like monthly and like that. I'd be coming back to Milwaukee. This should be like a war zone. Somebody bought this bitch. No, for real. The by going to Sweden and coming

[Gene]

back to supply here was different too. It's like, oh shit. It's just like a lot more peaceful, I would say. It's just like it felt more peaceful walking everywhere. Things just were just, it's just fresh energy.

[Pat]

If you talk, if you talk to foreigners, the first thing they'll say about America is that they're scared to come over here because they think they're going to get shot.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And it's, and it's solely because I'm not sure about the statistics. I don't want to get into all that.

[Gene]

We don't have the most guns in this country.

[Pat]

Yes. But I'm talking about like just pure stories. Like there was a man drew recently, this is like within Wisconsin, who traveled from Canada to Sheboygan Falls. If anybody knows Sheboygan Falls, like a small town, like one of the safest places you could possibly be in America. And he was killed like on a golfing trip. And I say that to say this is like if somebody's a foreigner, there's probably like 10,000 different ways someone has been shot in America, not how many people, not the statistics. They can look up a situation. It could be like a dude from Russia that wants to come to America. He can look up, has a Russian ever been shot in America? And I guarantee you there's been like a Russian shot in Florida while visiting. You know what I mean?

[Gene]

Like just like I think that also has to, has to do with how the amount of guns they're in this country and with the amount of guns in this country there's a lot of random ass scenarios that can happen. It just leads to way more random scenarios happening. There's too many things like in other countries, too many things have to align for this random ass thing to happen. Like just like the craziest coincidence here, it's just like, oh, okay, like I can see how that that happened. I can see how that happened. So especially like, especially with the headlines, especially with everything that's going on, you

[Pat]

know how many, you know how many kids, teenagers, whatever, they don't have a gun on them, but they know exactly where to get a gun. Yeah, legally too. The Person that owns it is legal. And they'd be like, okay, my dad keep his gun under one of his guns under his bed. This nigga just pissed me off. I'm about to go under my dad's bed. Yeah, don't get that monster. No, for real, man. They'd be letting it go in America, bro. This is sad, bro. It's just sad as I got a.

[Christian]

What was.

[Gene]

What was I gonna say?

[Pat]

I saw. I saw Kris Jenner makeover. It did a side by side when she was 68 to now she's 69. And bro, I've never seen a transformation like that. That was crazy. It looked like they put her on her stomach and then they had like five people just grab all the skin and pull it back and tighten it up. It's like actually amazing. And I don't know if it's like a bad thing. I know, I know. It's been looked at as like, oh, that person got plastic surgery and stuff like that. I think we get into like, different phases of, okay, she was already beautiful and then she enhanced something. And just like, then the debate starts and stuff like that.

[Gene]

I think it's just a doing of things. Sometimes it happens. It's like everybody. I feel like everybody sees themselves and everybody has some type of dysmorphia about themselves, right?

[Pat]

Facts, facts, facts.

[Gene]

And like, guys, women, everybody. And sometimes when you have the. The funds to get rid of your dysmorphia right away, a lot of people kind of go towards that. So it's like, I've never tried. There are a lot of people that look really weird with the plastic surgeries they're doing, but it's just like, now everybody's getting Botox. Like, people don't even like their facial expressions. You can't even see it anymore. Everybody start. And everybody's starting to look the same as well because of the same type of. Everybody's getting the same surgery to. Or the same Botox or the same fillers to look a certain way of like, hey, this is the person I'm trying to look like, or this is the person I saw do. So everybody's starting to look the same now, too.

[Pat]

The up part about, like, getting surgery because of dysmorphia, which will bother me more is if I get complimented on the thing I got surgery on. I think in like, let's say a woman is trying to pursue me and I got. I got new teeth, right?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And she's like, I'm just so attracted to your teeth. And I'm just like, damn knees, not mine.

[Gene]

You know what I mean?

[Pat]

They're just like. And that's where it will, like, kind of get me. And it's like, I wouldn't want anybody that's attracted to the unoriginal me. Like, you're attracted to the enhanced me. And I wouldn't.

[Gene]

But it's the same. Would you say the same thing as losing weight? Like, people give you the compliment a lot now. It's like, oh, Pat, you lost a lot of weight.

[Pat]

But like, okay, I put it like this. If I was fat my whole life.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know what I mean? Or if I was a little chubby my whole life, like, I had six pack abs, you know what I mean? Like, like seven years ago. So it's like I feel like I'm just getting back to myself. So if someone says, like, they're attracted to that, it's like, oh, I just went through a bad phase.

[Christian]

Yeah.

[Pat]

But if somebody was like. Like, if I got, like, bigger chest muscles. I love your chest, but I ain't always had that, you know what I'm saying? And that go away anytime, you know what I'm saying?

[Gene]

It's like, go through the depressive mark

[Pat]

and she's not rubbing on your chest no more, baby. Y' all ain't rubbing my chest. It's just not there.

[Gene]

No, I get it, though. I. I think the body dysmorphia thing, too. Like, even the people that are always on TV and even doing this podcast, there's been times where it's like, damn, you started, like, overanalyzing yourself. There'd be times where you want to wear. I think this is the first time I've, like, repeated an outfit, like, saying, on this. On this podcast. Right? But it shouldn't even be that way. It could be like a whole two months before I wear something. Right? But to everybody else is like eight. Eight episodes. And it's like, honestly, eight hours. Are you wearing the same thing the next eight hours? You know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying.

[Gene]

It's weird. It's weird. It shouldn't matter, though.

[Pat]

I'm over here changing shirts for some of these niggas that our pop, and they got the same draws on for the last five episodes. These niggas ain't changed draws. But I gotta change shirts. Y' all crazy as hell, man. That's big expectations, bro. Nigga cooking me all. Pat, somebody said I had a hole in my pants. I had a hole in my pants. Like, let me Follow you around for a whole year and point out all of your flaws. Cause I can go to your IG page, a picture that you took on purpose and show you a flaw.

[Gene]

But it is a thing.

[Pat]

But your existence. I'm sorry.

[Gene]

It's also not like. It's not like a thing that people are forced into. But I do get now the. Some of the. What's the word I'm looking for? Like, the dysmorphia and some of the self confidence issues sometimes that happen with celebrities. In a sense. I'm not even at that level where it's like, I'm worried about it. I really don't give. I'm wearing. I always wear slippers on this spot. Like, I come here casual as hell, so it's not really a problem for me. But I get it now.

[Pat]

I think that. I think the cheat code is, like, obviously we're sitting down, so that helps us. The shoes are, like, a big part of, like, outfits.

[Gene]

Yeah. Because side of feet, so it's cut off.

[Pat]

There's so much. I have a lot of shoes. I got, like, over, like, 50, 60 pair of shoes. But there's always an outfit that you run into. You're like, bro, I don't have any shoes for this. And if I do have a shoes, the hat I got for this throws the outfit off. But, like, not showing our feet, man, that's the best thing we ever did.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Mike used to have a camera under our nut sack. If you go back to the older episodes, like, you can literally see, like, you can see the ripples when I fart. That's how low the thing is. I like, bro, what the.

[Gene]

Oh, man. Anyway.

[Pat]

Oh, wait, wait, wait. My misinformation of the week.

[Christian]

Oh, okay.

[Pat]

I. I hate when people say of

[Gene]

the week of everything.

[Pat]

And we never, like, and never continue this. But I feel like I do talk about people doing misinformation. Misinforming people. Somebody tweeted and was just like, wow, I can't believe there's a college out here, a D1 college that is wearing all white to the football game in remembrance of Charlie Kirk. And I'm like, damn, this shit is crazy, because I have been seeing, like, some sports teams, you know, put them on the big screen. Hold a moment of silence. I'm like, damn, a whole college did it. What college did it? And I looked it up, and it's Penn State who does, like, a white out for every home game. I'm like, bro, you motherfuckers. Bro, y' all are stupid. As hell. And it's people arguing and contract. But going back to Zion, I know we talked about him earlier. I didn't know he had in his contract that he has to weigh in six times a year and he has to be under 295 pounds and he has to play a certain amount of games, which he didn't last year. So it didn't make.

[Gene]

He didn't get this guarantee. His contract wasn't fully guaranteed. So now he's like on a year to year guaranteed.

[Pat]

I don't like that shit. That made me not like, obviously I'm. I've, you know, a lot of people. Obviously. I don't say this on the podcast a lot. I'm a big LeBron fan. I say that a lot. But, like, I thought Zion was the second coming of LeBron. So I love Zion's game and I love. I watch almost every game that he had at Duke. And this is the hoest shit I've ever heard in my life, bro. Like, you got.

[Gene]

Hold on. Oh, whose part though?

[Guest Woman]

Zion.

[Gene]

For signing that.

[Pat]

No, not for signing that. For not being 295, my nigga. Millions of dollars like nutrit Christian is chefs. You got all access to all that.

[Gene]

He took that advice. He's looking like that now.

[Pat]

No, he definitely looking like that. I want to see what that.

[Gene]

What the season looks like.

[Pat]

No, I want to see what that search history looks like. I'm just saying. Okay, the thing about the Mariah Mills thing, if. If he actually, okay, he. He has sex with Mariah Mills, we can. I think that's kind of confirmed, right?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I feel like everybody's search history is more extreme than what they've actually done in real life.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know what I'm saying?

[Gene]

I get you.

[Christian]

Me.

[Pat]

So if he has sex with Mariah, what the is in his searches, would

[Gene]

you say that the same as, like, is like the person is dating, like Tiana Trump right now?

[Pat]

Yes.

[Gene]

We looking at his search history too.

[Pat]

Freak. I know he freaked out, but Teanna Trump, that's still one woman at the end of the day, you know what I'm saying? Now if you see a dude walk around and he got three girlfriends and he be having sex with all three of them, his search history gotta be crazy, you know what I'm saying? You gotta keep going through a search history. You on page 11. And it's like, okay, hey, he added a dude in there, bro. You know, the party getting too big, man. He's gotta be careful, you know what I'm saying? You can't keep track of.

[Gene]

I'm always interested dudes that like not even just cheating on their girls, but like the dudes that like can talk to like three, four girls at the same time.

[Pat]

Like. Like not in just.

[Gene]

I'm talking like, like legit.

[Pat]

Like legit keeping up.

[Gene]

We keeping up hang out. We have sex here and there, type of. But like we're both pursuing to maybe get something more with four different people. I. I'm not saying it's not impossible. It's impossible. It's just like. It's just the time of like the. The commitment level to it.

[Mike]

It.

[Gene]

Because there's one person that's Might not be getting the. The full you. I guess in a sense.

[Guest Woman]

Yeah.

[Gene]

I feel like I can only like if I'm dating and. Or the dating pool. Like I can only really. Like one girl really knows that we're really working towards something and another person knows that this is probably just like a thing right now type of thing. You know what I mean?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Gene]

It's never the got quietest, you know

[Pat]

it on his own.

[Gene]

But I always.

[Pat]

That always. That always bothered me in the past. Like you. I don't know if you've ever been like on dates. Like when the last time you was on a date. Like a date with a single woman. Yeah, right. And the date seems too routine for her, if that makes sense.

[Gene]

What sense?

[Pat]

Like, it looks like she just does this shit, you know what I'm saying?

[Gene]

Is it like a regular at the place type of thing?

[Pat]

Not even a regular at the place. It's more of like you go on a lot of dates with a lot of guys for the first time.

[Gene]

Got it.

[Pat]

And this isn't like. Because I feel like then people kind of. There's no connection. Like I don't. I don't like those women. Like I recently heard. Overheard two women talking and just like this girl started dating this guy after seven years because she just wanted to try something different. She was tired of going after her type.

[Gene]

That's the worst thing that like, what the. You're not my type. That's why I really want.

[Christian]

She.

[Pat]

She legit said I'm tired of going after these drug dealers, these street dudes. I'm just. I'm not that attracted to him, but he got his right and stuff like that. And fellas, if. If a girl ever dis you and you kind of sort of the same person you are now, like, come on, bro. It's way too many women out there to let her spin the block like that. And she. You gotta take pride in that. You gotta stand up, get off your knees.

[Gene]

Patrick Tate.

[Pat]

No, no, I'm just. Women, too, though. Like, get. Get up. Like, you know, like, if a dude don't like you and you ain't make no crazy changes, like, if you wasn't, like, a bad person, jobless or some shit, and he. And they try to, like, go ahead and it. I'm just saying, like. And he totally dis you not saying. Like, if it worked and then it didn't work out for some reason and a person left and then y' all reconnected. I'm talking about, like, it was only

[Gene]

the wrong time for that one person.

[Pat]

Yeah, they wasn't in the. Like, no, don't do that. I'll be hating that, bro. It's way too many people out here to just be like, oh, I'm gonna go with the same person that dissed me. Nah, the person didn't like that. There's so many stories out here where people are getting married after, like, meeting each other for the first time, and then, like, they've been dating and. And they happily married. Why the fuck would you date somebody that didn't like you at some point? Or was it, oh, imagine dating a girl. Like, you would be hearing them wedding things, like, oh, the first time we talked, I wasn't attracted to him.

[Christian]

What?

[Pat]

You wasn't attracted to him?

[Gene]

I think sometimes they grew on you.

[Pat]

What the fuck?

[Gene]

I think it works sometimes when both people didn't see each other that way, like, they both didn't really have a attraction to each other.

[Pat]

Yeah, both, right? Everything has to line up correct. Oh, we both. We both were friends for five years, and we were in different relationships, and then we took a trip to Italy as friends and fell in love. You know what I'm saying? Like, that makes sense. Not like, oh, I watched her date five dudes and finally got my turn, and we happily married. So you telling me you was there when five niggas dig down your.

[Gene]

Oh, my God,

[Guest Woman]

you was.

[Pat]

You was shaking hands with these every day. These are. Y' all all in the group chat and, like, come on, man. That cannot be your wife at the wedding. And, man, take this pill, man.

[Gene]

Anyway, that's been crash dummies, episode 226. Appreciate y' all for listening. Make sure you guys subscribe to the Patreon. We really appreciate it. What else? What else?

[Pat]

Live show, live show. Fight party, Halloween party.

[Gene]

If you're in Milwaukee, we're doing a Halloween party.

[Pat]

Reach out to Mike for tickets.

[Gene]

Reach out to. Oh, for Maya. For fight tickets party. Reach out to Gene, Reach out to Jean.

[Pat]

Halloween party.

[Gene]

I guess we're home.

[Pat]

Hey, help us pick our costumes. Yeah.

[Gene]

Let us know what we should.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Guest Woman]

Before.

[Pat]

And we'll do a Halloween episode.

[Gene]

Episode.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah, we'll do. Yeah. We'll get the. The same. We're not getting two different costumes. I'll tell you that right now. Help us get, like, some. Not just some matching, but like some tandem, like, maybe from the same movie or same scene or whatever. And, like, we'll do that for the pot. You know what I'm saying? Like, try to. You know, we could be spotty in the office or some shouting, though.

[Christian]

We.

[Pat]

Black dude. Send links for the costumes and they'll go through them up.

[Gene]

Oh, you just.

[Pat]

What happened?

[Gene]

Gene just cut out. It doesn't matter, I guess.

[Christian]

All right.

[Gene]

I was like, I got episode two.

[Mike]

Two.

[Pat]

No, you dress like a barber today. I wanted to say that.