In Love With Two People - Episode 247

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast - Episode 247: "In Love With Two People"

Release Date: February 25, 2026
Hosts: Patrick Johnson (Pat), Michael Esiobu (Mike)
Episode Theme:
Pat and Mike delve into absurd scenarios, unpopular opinions, current internet trends, and relationship dilemmas, combining humor, candid conversations, and listeners’ calls, centered around love, boundaries, and how people navigate complicated modern relationships.

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on the recurring theme of how people relate to each other—whether it’s conspiracy theories, societal norms, or romantic relationships. The most memorable segment features several callers sharing stories about falling for or being involved with multiple people at once, and the moral gray areas that come with it. The hosts and their panel of recurring friends bring their trademark blend of irreverence, real talk, and sharp wit to every scenario.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. On the Art of the Male Apology & "Taking the High Road"

• (00:03–00:31)
  The show opens with the hosts and guests joking about insincere apologies.
  • Gene: “Somebody apologize as a man. They don't really mean that shit.”
  • "You got a bigger philosophy of life than me ... You found peace. That's what we doing."
    Sets the tone for playful but pointed banter about masculinity and pride.

2. Conspiracy Theories: How Wild is Too Wild?

• (04:08–09:33)

  • The crew riff on trending and “normal” conspiracy theories, touching on favorite classics:
    • Aliens, moon landing, JFK assassination, Disney’s “Frozen” as a distraction, and Bigfoot.
    • Gene: "I believe Bigfoot is real. I just believe it was a musty ass white man in the woods." (10:33)
  • Curtis delivers the wild take: “Every big celebrity eat kids.” (05:27)

  Notable Quote

  • Mike: “There are people that will stop living their everyday life if they find out a certain conspiracy is true.” (08:48)

3. Reality TV's Wildest Moments

• (11:19–15:36)
  • Pat and Mike discuss the America’s Next Top Model documentary and how standards have changed.
  • Mike: “... she had them like blackface, basically ... Like, a black woman was a Korean. A white woman was a black woman.” (11:45–12:01)
  • The hosts unpack how reality TV crossed lines due to fewer immediate social consequences.

4. Nostalgia: What Do You Miss Most About Childhood?

• (18:51–22:37)
  • Panel reminisces over childhood—joys of $100, summer breaks, friendships, and being “Wolverine” level-healthy as kids.
  • Mike: “Liking people for no reason ... like, I don't know, he had fruit snacks.” (19:41)
  • The struggle to make new adult friends and outgrowing certain joys is a recurring theme.

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Listener Call-Ins / Relationship Court ("Crash Court")

5. Can You Be in Love with Two People? (Sarah’s Story)

• (23:02–29:44) | Timestamped highlight:
  • Sarah: “... you can be in love with two people at once. Like, it's very possible.” (23:25)
  • Tells her story: stationed in Italy, involved with someone there, and in love with another back in America (24:22).
  • She explains she was only having sex with one due to distance but emotionally invested in both.
  • Gene: "So you don't think you was doing something wrong? Because that's like a lie right there, right?" (26:39)
  • Discussion on accountability, honesty, and vulnerability follows.
  • Sarah admits, “But I have to work on myself. That is a flaw within me,” (27:36) but clarifies she's no longer in that situation.

6. Falling for a Married Man (Anonymous Female Caller)

• (51:03–62:21)
  • The caller, very self-aware yet stuck, describes her ongoing affair with a married coworker.
  • “I'm in love with a married man. I know. Yuck.” (51:03)
  • She gives context: they met at work, she aggressively pursued him knowing his status, and they’ve been intimate for over a year.
  • The hosts challenge her on self-sabotaging her 20s and settling for less:
    • Gene: "You wasted, like, half your 20s on this dude already. Damn near right." (61:01)
    • She claims, “Love doesn’t want me,” revealing deeper insecurity and attachment issues.
  • Hosts collectively advise: “Stop sleeping with the married man.” (61:53)

7. Attempted Cheating—Self-Restraint or Self-Deception? (JSN’s Story)

• (63:07–68:04)
  • JSN confesses to coping with temptation in his current (good) relationship by, essentially, “self-servicing” when he feels like texting other women.
  • JSN: “When I want to cheat, I just beat my meat.” (63:14)
  • Gene: “You technically still cheating because she knew that she wouldn't with it ...”
  • The hosts debate: is this "attempted" cheating or just honesty? They joke about giving him a "five-year" sentence for attempted cheating.

8. Love Bombing vs. Genuine Affection (Female Caller)

• (68:18–73:11)
  • Caller describes a lover who won’t take “no relationship” for an answer—physical affection, public gifts, concert tickets.
  • She wonders if she’s being “love bombed” and resists a full-on relationship, though she accepts his gifts.
  • Gene: “I don't think she's trying hard enough, and I think she knows she's not trying hard enough.” (73:11)
  • Hosts sentence her to "a year for being part-time gold digger, part-time lover girl.” (74:58)

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Listener Opinions: Unpopular Takes

• Sports and Tall People Stereotypes (Guest Male 2, 36:15–44:35):

  • A 6’6”, 300lb caller laments “everyone expects me to play football,” despite excelling academically, not loving the sport, and working security instead.
  • Gene: "If I was 6, 6, I wouldn't be podcasting." (41:44)

• Sock Opinions (Guest Male 1, 45:35–48:10):

  • “You should be wearing socks to bed ... and you should not be going sockless.”
  • Panel jokes about “feet dysmorphia” and the weirdness of socks at the beach.

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Highlights & Memorable Quotes

1. On Conspiracies:
   • “There's photographs of me being skinny. Like, what does that mean?” —Curtis (09:56)
2. On Reality TV:
   • “She had them like blackface, basically. There was a ... black woman was a Korean. A white woman was a black woman.” —Mike (11:45)
3. On Two-Timing:
   • Sarah: “If we all lived in the same place... I would have ...” —(25:36)
   • Gene: “You are the game, though...” —(27:05)
4. On Attempted Cheating:
   • “When I want to cheat, I just beat my me.” —JSN (63:14)
5. On Love Bombing:
   • “I told him ... I don't think we should do this anymore. Like, I'm feeling bad at this point.” —Female Caller (71:12)

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Running Jokes & Classic Crash Dummies Vibe

• Meat Maxing:
  Final segment devolves into an extended riff on the absurdity of sending “strategic” nudes (“meat maxing”).

  • Gene: “That’s me maxing. ... You jacked off and you hurry up and took a picture before your penis went back down—”

• Childhood Troubles & Discipline:
  Funny stories about getting whooped, parents’ odd punishments, and how childhood rules make no sense.

• Life Advice Themes:
  The hosts reiterate the importance of adaptability, respect, and being self-aware—but push listeners to also take action, not just wallow in self-aware defeat.

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Time-Stamped Highlights

| Timestamp | Segment | Notable Quote / Moment | |:---|:---|:---| | 05:27 | Conspiracies | Curtis: “Every big celebrity eat kids.” | | 11:45–12:01 | Reality TV | Mike: “She had them like blackface, basically ...” | | 19:41 | Childhood Nostalgia | Mike: “Liking people for no reason ... like, I don't know, he had fruit snacks.” | | 23:25 | Caller Sarah | “You can be in love with two people at once ...” | | 26:39 | Confronting Sarah | Gene: “So you don't think you was doing something wrong?” | | 51:03 | Married Man Affair | Guest: “I'm in love with a married man. I know. Yuck.” | | 63:14 | Attempted Cheating | JSN: “When I want to cheat, I just beat my me.” | | 68:18 | Lover Bombs | Guest: “So he kept buying me gifts ...” | | 73:11 | Gold Digger Sentence | Gene: “I don't think she's trying hard enough, and I think she knows she's not.” | | 103:02 | Meat Maxing | “That three inches and just wide as hell.” |

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Tone & Language

• Unfiltered, irreverent, Black internet humor
• Panel mixes playful roasting, genuine empathy, and no-nonsense advice
• Accepts callers’ flaws, nudges them toward self-awareness plus actual maturity

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Summary Takeaways

• You can love (or THINK you love) more than one person, but accountability and honesty are key ingredients in any arrangement.
• Self-awareness is useless without action.
• Love bombing, side-chick cycles, and "attempted cheating" are just new spins on age-old relationship dilemmas.
• Childhood was better with less awareness, more easy joy, and fewer complicated boundaries.
• Conspiracies, unpopular opinions, and oddball routines (wearing socks everywhere, believing in Bigfoot, being 6’6” and not playing sports) all become entry points for bigger discussions about modern life and identity.
• The episode is packed with laughs, quotables, and real talk—Crash Dummies style.

---

For fans of banter, modern relationships, and head-shaking honesty, episode 247 is a wild and insightful ride.

Transcript

[Mike]

Like, it look like you're doing extra steps.

[Pat]

You know, it's my process.

[Mike]

No, I feel it, man. My bad. I apologize, bro. As a. As a man.

[Gene]

Somebody apologize as a man. They don't really mean that shit. They just like, hey, they trying to take a higher road than you.

[Curtis]

They.

[Gene]

They catch you in like, oh, you kind of mad at what I'm saying right now. I'm a go above you. I'm more mature.

[JSN]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It's almost like I'm trying to brush this off.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

Like, like, like you're, like, overreacting. It's like, oh, bro. No, bro, you got it, bro. Yeah, but you got it.

[Gene]

Like, you got a bigger philosophy of life than me that you just that much above me. You found peace. That's what we doing.

[Mike]

Sometimes you do have to take the higher ground.

[Gene]

No, no, ain't no higher ground. We got to sell these tickets. This conversation.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. All the tour dates are going to be on crashdummieslive.com. you can. It's gonna pop up. For audio listeners. I'm gonna remember this. Thai audio listeners. I mean, video listeners. Here you go. Somewhere right here for y'.

[Sarah]

All.

[Mike]

Because everybody keeps saying I'm never going to put it on the screen. I will at this month. Next month, we got a new editor starting. So, yeah, they're going to do all that.

[Gene]

They're going to do everything. Matter of fact, we just going to do. We're going to do something that we probably never going to do again. We're going to throw in, like, some edits, like maybe do like a gunshot edit and just show y' all we got a new editor, then it's never going to happen again.

[Mike]

Merch is live as well. I think by the time people are listening to this, we'll be in on our way to St. Louis. So, yeah, St. Louis show you still can buy tickets probably that day as well. So, yeah, we'll be indie. Where he been in indie.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah, Indy. If you. If you hearing this, it's too late. Yeah, we already did.

[Mike]

Sucks for you Merch, too, at crash dummies. Merch.com will be. Anybody that bought Merch will be shipping them this week, so you should be getting them end of this week, next week, y'.

[Guest Female 1]

All.

[Gene]

I know y' all with the design, you know, shout out to Hubs for the design and stuff like that. That should look good on it. That look good, don't it? I guess. What we talking about the Mexican cartel? No, I'm kidding.

[Mike]

Oh, Happy. I Chunies. Chinese New Year to all my Chinese listeners.

[Gene]

You know what you supposed to.

[Mike]

Happy Ramadan to all the Muslim listeners as well, man.

[Gene]

Shout out to my brothers and sisters, Happy Ramadan. Happy Chinese New Year, too. You're supposed to give me an envelope full of money, though.

[Mike]

Why?

[Gene]

That's what they do on Chinese New Year. Why would I give a red envelope?

[Mike]

Where's my red envelope?

[Gene]

In my backpack. But I'm only giving you your envelope if you got an envelope today.

[Mike]

I got an envelope today.

[Gene]

All right, let's exchange envelopes.

[Curtis]

Okay.

[Mike]

After this.

[Guest Female 2]

Man.

[Mike]

That sounds. That sounds very like, let's exchange envelopes. Like, if a stranger told me that let's exchange envelopes, I would think. Yeah, this is trying to.

[Curtis]

I thought you was gonna say, like, something like that.

[Mike]

That's N. Exchange envelopes.

[Gene]

N. That's crazy.

[Curtis]

What are you gonna have condoms in the envelope?

[Pat (Caller)]

Something?

[JSN]

No.

[Gene]

That's so crazy. A pull out a gun. He be like, no, don't kill me. Then he attach a dildo to the gun. What are you talking about?

[Curtis]

No, I was gonna say. Cuz I. I got a Chinese friend, and I asked him what he does on Chinese New Year, and he said they don't really do much besides look at a paper dragon and set off fireworks.

[Gene]

You're lying. You don't have a Chinese friend.

[Curtis]

I have a Chinese bro. Why do you. I'm.

[Mike]

What's his name?

[Curtis]

By. I can't. I don't want to say that. Because his family might shame him. Brother, expose my Chinese friend.

[Guest Male 1]

No.

[Curtis]

Why would I do.

[Gene]

That's racist. No, it's not, because you would never say that about a Hispanic man.

[Pat (Caller)]

I have.

[Curtis]

I wouldn't say your friend.

[Mike]

You said your friend Jose on this podcast all the time, but it was nothing incriminating.

[Curtis]

But.

[Gene]

No, but the shame thing is racist because that. I feel like that's kind of like.

[Mike]

Oh, that is like a foreign parent type of thing.

[Curtis]

No, I seen. I've seen him get yelled at for.

[Mike]

Does he have that much of a unique name?

[Curtis]

Yeah, actually, it's, like, very white. It's a white name.

[Gene]

Say something good about Chinese people right now.

[Curtis]

They have great food.

[Mike]

Okay, that's it.

[Gene]

I bet you they believe you. Believe that fella right there. Shout out to Chelsea Gray. What the was that? That's all I got to say.

[Mike]

Shimmy.

[Gene]

That was crazy. That shimmy was crazy.

[Mike]

It was a little crazy.

[Gene]

That was too crazy. She cold as though. But that shimmy. Don't do that again. And Jackson Hayes, we told you, don't enter no dunk contest. We told you what we gonna do to you. Hey, but you know who's very happy right now? The people like me. The conspiracy theory people.

[Curtis]

You a conspiracy theorist?

[Gene]

Yeah, the people that like. The people we've been shamed the last five years. Oh, shut up. You can't believe it ain't no aliens. The government ain't hiding nothing, man. Get back to work. Now. Everybody, everything is exposed. We see everything for what it is.

[Mike]

It's still not.

[Gene]

We still got to get back to work.

[Mike]

But I feel like I. I feel like with the conspiracies, there's people with normal conspiracy. There's still conspiracy theorists. That they're conspiracies is so wild that still not proven.

[Curtis]

We need a normal conspiracy theory.

[Gene]

We need them, though.

[Mike]

I would say the normal conspiracy theory is like, there's aliens. Like, the government's hiding aliens.

[Curtis]

It was deeper than that, though, because the conspiracy theory not normal. Because if I tell y' all some. Y' all gonna look at me crazy.

[Gene]

I mean, I look at you crazy all the time.

[Curtis]

I could say it on the podcast.

[Mike]

Yeah, we might bleep it, but go ahead.

[Curtis]

Every big celebrity eat kids.

[Gene]

All right, that's nice.

[Curtis]

This is why we'll never get to anything. This is why we'll never get to anything. People are exposing conspiracy theories left and right, and all we doing is paying our bills.

[Mike]

So let's instead of outrage, go to number one.

[Gene]

So these are these 30 crazy conspiracy. 30 crazy conspiracies.

[Mike]

The moon landing was fake.

[Curtis]

I don't believe.

[Mike]

I don't think that.

[Gene]

You don't do that. No, you're part of the problem.

[Curtis]

Where was you at when that happened?

[Mike]

There's a lot of. We weren't born yet.

[Curtis]

Oh, damn. I thought y'.

[JSN]

All.

[Gene]

Come on now.

[Curtis]

It's gonna be like, five. That wasn't in the 90s.

[Gene]

That's how. That's what you want to play this episode.

[Curtis]

I'm just ask.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Gene]

I got.

[Curtis]

He got.

[Mike]

They got.

[Curtis]

Been in a minute.

[Mike]

So you got. We got, like, a month's worth of jokes for you.

[Pat (Caller)]

Come on.

[Curtis]

Oh, I got.

[Gene]

I got a year's worth of calories. The government killed jfk. I believe thousand percent.

[Curtis]

That's real. They said that the driver was the one who shot him, too.

[Mike]

I don't. I don't see the thing.

[Gene]

It's up because, like, I be confident in my conspiracy theory, but when key agree with me, I started questioning myself. This how I sound.

[Mike]

Let's go. I don't Even want to talk about Kobe.

[Gene]

Good. He about to demonetize us.

[JSN]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What was number four is moving a little late.

[Pat]

Earth was sucked into a black hole.

[Gene]

I really don't give a fuck.

[Mike]

Those. Those ones that we don't care because, like, we're here. So don't really. There's nothing really can do.

[Gene]

Disney created Frozen as a distraction. I don't know what he was doing.

[Mike]

What was the distraction for?

[Curtis]

He was frozen a long time ago.

[Pat]

They said that he, like, froze himself.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. So I went to a school called Walt Disney Magnet School in Chicago. Right. And there was a big bust of his head at the school.

[Curtis]

A big bus.

[Mike]

A bus? Like a bust. Like, when people go in the hall of fame, the statues are called, like, a bus. Right. Let's take a fat. But I just don't like that. Your facial expression, it was like, bronze. It was like a bronze. But the thing about it, though, is that there was a theory that he was. It was haunted and, like, that too. So used to, like, pick his nose and like that. Because he did have a giant ass nose.

[Gene]

Got it. Got it. The Denver International Airport is Illuminati's headquarters.

[Mike]

See, like, these are the type of. Like, can you. Can you scroll? I want to see, like, what's the. The lore behind this one?

[Gene]

That don't make sense, man. That is.

[Pat]

They wrote conspiracy rabbit hole that we're not going to delve too far into, except when it comes to Denver International Airport.

[Mike]

That didn't make any sense.

[Pat]

Secret group headquarters.

[Gene]

They believe that there's tunnels and lizard layers beneath the building. Okay, do I believe that?

[Mike]

See, these are like, y' all been

[Curtis]

to Denver Airport before?

[Gene]

But, like, what am I gonna do with that information if I go downstairs and there's nothing there? Or if I go downstairs and they kill me? Like, what information did I get out of it?

[Curtis]

The point is for billions of people to go downstairs and find out.

[Gene]

They won't do it on billions of people to show up to the Denver International Airport.

[Mike]

But, like, like, so now those are the type of conspiracy theories where I feel like. Like, they're still not proven, right? So, like, there's people that have those, like, those, like, those type of conspiracy theories.

[Gene]

Yes. But I also believe that America especially has to kind of, like, suppress some conspiracy theories because there are people that will stop living their everyday life if they find out a certain conspiracy is true.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Like, if there was, like, hardcore evidence out on the news, like, the government did assassinate such and such. Such and such. Such and such. There's somebody out there. A group of people, thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands. Be like, since that's true, I'm not going to work tomorrow. I'm done. I don't believe they gotta say. And some people just can't handle that. Because I would hear, like, if I found out Bigfoot was real on Tuesday, I would still go to work on Wednesday. I wouldn't give a.

[Mike]

The the Earth is flat is another one.

[Curtis]

I think the Earth is flat.

[Gene]

But what does that do for you, though?

[Mike]

Why do you think?

[Curtis]

It shows you that there's. So what it's supposed to do is awaken, like the real you. And everybody's supposed to go over there and find some shit out.

[Gene]

Go over where?

[Curtis]

Go to the walls. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

But there's like photographs and videos of the Earth.

[Curtis]

There's photographs of me being skinny. Like, what does that mean?

[Mike]

What the fuck?

[Curtis]

That's irrelevant.

[Gene]

That makes sense.

[Mike]

Because you know, that don't make any sense.

[Curtis]

Anything.

[Mike]

You think they photoshop the pictures of

[Curtis]

Earth if the moon landing is fake and they can fake that, why wouldn't they photoshop the Earth, the moon landing, and they got a whole movie about

[Mike]

how people that they go to space

[Curtis]

like that, and they don't go to space.

[Gene]

We fake that moon landing to maybe other countries.

[Mike]

Oh, my God. Too many. Ten. Too many. Ten. Four. Half.

[Gene]

That's easy one, though.

[Pat]

Classic.

[Gene]

Bigfoot is real. I believe Bigfoot is real. I just believe it was a musty ass white man in the woods.

[Curtis]

I don't even know who Bigfoot is.

[Gene]

No, that's crazy.

[Curtis]

Well, I know who he is, but like, I never dove that deep.

[Gene]

Six, seven, bro. Okay. Did y' all hear that story? Oh, man. Shout out to all the studs does tap in. Somebody say that. We don't got a lot of studs that listen to it. They like challenging our stud listenership. After the last stud call. Studs tap in. It's a safe space for y'.

[Guest Male 1]

All.

[Gene]

Y' all can wear y' all jerseys, beaters with the chains, wave caps. Or y' all could dress in blazer suits. Like y' all can dress how y' all want. We love the studs here. I don't know who trying to start that rumor that we don't rock with studs. We love. Gene, tell them.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Any of you guys see the American Next Top Model documentary?

[Pat]

Yeah, I did watch it.

[Mike]

You watched it?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

That was crazy. Is that what Tracy Banks, Tyra Banks? No, I feel that. Feel. I'm not Gonna shame you for not knowing that. But it's kind of crazy how when you look at things with, like, 20, 26 eyes, how crazy some of those things seem back then.

[Pat]

Yeah, a lot of the reality TV shows.

[Mike]

Yeah. But this one, like, she had them like blackface, basically. Like, everybody. There was a. There was a. Was the event that they did, right?

[Pat]

They swapped ethnicities.

[Mike]

Yeah, exactly. And some people were like, a black woman was a Korean. A white woman was a black woman.

[Pat]

They had the babies on there.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, they had. They had the kids. They had the kids. Yeah, exactly. So a white woman, black face to be a black. To be a black woman or African woman. And they also had the kid. They also had the kid that come. That was a black kid, and they took pictures with them.

[Gene]

No, that's actually crazy. But I feel like that was the thing back then because, like, there wasn't. There wasn't that many opportunities back then to be famous. So when somebody gave you an opportunity, like, to a beeline to Hollywood, people would do anything. Like, we can't. Like, if we had this podcast back then, you know what we could do to key. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

We can have crazy do the key. I wouldn't do anything.

[Gene]

No, I'm just saying, like, just wait a minute.

[Curtis]

Like this. Why this, like, diddy out in the world?

[Mike]

It's like, Pat, that was sounding crazy,

[Gene]

but we could literally make you do anything, bro.

[Curtis]

No, you couldn't, bro. I just wouldn't show up.

[Mike]

I think, too, with those.

[Gene]

You gonna show up

[Mike]

those shows, too. I think since there was no social media, in a sense, there wasn't like, that immediate, like, backfired. You would get, like, today, like, if that came out today, obviously you would get, like. You would hear the instant, like, reviews on it. Not just, like, stuff in the tabloid newspapers and stuff like that. You literally get instant. And more people will see it, too.

[Curtis]

But when you look up to somebody, you're not going to want to expose them or you're going to feel intimidated for exposing them. So I feel like it's so much going on now that we probably won't find out to the next, like, 10 years.

[Mike]

There was crazy scenes like this girl, they invited, like, the male models to the room, right? And this girl basically got super drunk and started kissing on this dude, right? And her. Her thing was she got essayed, right? And they still recorded her having sex in the shower and stuff like that. Like, they kept the cameras rolling and they recorded her when she went to the hospital to get checked in. And they recorded her. She wanted to leave the show. And then the thing is, like, if you say you want to leave the show, they have to stop recording you. Right. So now they convince her to stay on the show and stuff like that. They recorded her talking to, calling her boyfriend because she was in a relationship at the time.

[Curtis]

This is the show you're talking about?

[Mike]

Yes, they recorded her talking on the. Having that conversation.

[Pat]

And it's supposed to be about modeling.

[Mike]

Yeah. And then there was another scene that same. Another scene that happened was that they were all having dinner and stuff like that. And Tyra was talking about, like, mistakes that she's had in the past and stuff like that, and cheating and stuff like that. And then she brought it up so she can get to that point of that girl. And then making her relive that stuff during the reunion, they made her watch the scene again and stuff like that.

[Gene]

It's just like, bro, I would challenge everybody to go to Netflix, Hulu, whoever still has it going on, and watch an old reality TV show. And your mind's going to be blown by some of the. Go, like, go watch the Flavor of Love. Go watch, like, Rage Crazy for the Love of Ray J. Just go watch one of those shows like that your mind will be blown about her. Like, how insensitive the world was and, like, what they were doing. Like, you liable to catch a sex scene on one of them shows.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Where they barely show people kissing. Now, like, we're getting, like, to more sensitive times. I don't know where we're gonna go at. Like, if we can we get more sensitive. Like, we're to the point, like, people have to apologize for body demeanor and body language.

[Pat (Caller)]

Now.

[Gene]

Like, there's this one dude who, like, there's this K pop star who went viral because he hugged, like, I don't know if it was another Asian or white woman, like, hard. And then the next video showed him hugging a black woman and he didn't wrap his hands all the way around her, and he, like, catching a bunch of flacks for that. So it's just like we move into a part where, like, everything is being judged.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Because back then, like, man, they got away with so much.

[Mike]

Yeah, I do. It's. It's kind of like that hard line. I feel like if it. It's all about the intention of where things come from.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, there are some people that are intentionally try to, like, rage, bait people in the sense of or be offensive on purpose. Like, I know I'm being Offensive. I don't give a. Like, rah, rah, rah. There are people that generally make mistakes that are offensive and stuff like that. Just don't know. I would say, like, Drew Ski just got some flack for saying.

[Gene]

Yeah. Saying his name wrong.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And he said he apologized and stuff like that. And his thing with comedy. Or it's like, you kind of have to. You tear that line to a point where in. Until it's not funny.

[Curtis]

It would have been funny if he would have did it right away instead of saying the name right once or twice and then inserting it in. Because it didn't just feel forced.

[Mike]

Yeah. And I think that's the risk. That's the risk of crazy, but I think that's the risk of comedy, too, in a sense, too. It's like, you have to take that.

[Gene]

Yeah, you got to take risk.

[Mike]

You have to take risk to be funny. It's going to hit sometimes. Sometimes it won't.

[Gene]

I think Drew Ski. Drew Ski also understands, like, I've been in this position before because he caught some flack for the guys getting girls drunk on purpose.

[Mike]

That one he actually deleted apology.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Curtis]

I didn't even see that.

[Gene]

It just happens. But what Drew Ski is teaching people, like, it's better to get out ahead of it and just get out here and be like, oh, I apologize for it. He reached out to jsn. JSN didn't respond rightfully so. But he reached out, apologized for it, acknowledged his mistake, and now he's moving on to the next skit, and people gonna love him for it.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Curtis]

Why would you get mad if you jsn, why would you be mad in that scenario?

[Gene]

Because you gotta. You gotta fan you. Like, that name is unique for a reason. It's a reason why it's, like, hard.

[Mike]

I think he's from, like, is he Kenyan or something like that?

[Gene]

It's like, something like, something African.

[Mike]

And I would say, like, a lot of people's last name, especially, like, in Africa, is like, you kind of hold. It holds pride. It's like your family name. So when you see somebody, like, purposely, like, butchering it, it kind of can be offensive in a sense. It depends, like, the value.

[Gene]

Like, my last name, like, would I get Madison? Like, I have a slave owner's last name. I don't give a fuck. But it's like, somebody with him, he probably got hundreds of cousins and shit, and, like, he take pride in his name, and some dude just pronounced it wrong. I'm probably the biggest moment of his life. Yeah, you know what I mean?

[Curtis]

But his friends probably be doing like that to him.

[Gene]

No, you'd probably be checking the out of them. Shout out to Canada, y' all suck.

[Mike]

But we'll be there. We'll be there for tours at some point.

[Gene]

But, yeah, shout out. I mean, beginning. They ass whipped in the World Series, not the Olympics. USA Smacking that ass. It's the only time I cheer for USA is during the Olympics, isn't it?

[Mike]

Isn't that interesting? Like, the world, like, Americans come together when it's like, us against another country, in a sense, every time.

[JSN]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Because sports.

[Gene]

Yeah, because when we get bashed for. Usually when we get bashed is for something saying that I agree with. Like, if someone foreign is just like, man, American. If they say something about American cops are so dirty, I'm like, hell, yeah, man. America, you know, they don't know how to treat the black man right. The black woman right. Like, they just walk all over us. But when the Olympics come on and they're just like, yeah, America, y' all suck. And it's like, hold on now, boy. Yeah, back to Sweden with that. Nobody playing with y'. All.

[Mike]

What's. What's something you miss about your childhood?

[Gene]

Something I miss about my childhood is anybody's. How much money meant to me back then and how much money can change the direction of my week back then. Like, right now, somebody could drop, you know, a thousand extra dollars on me, but that thousand dollars in my head is already going somewhere else. Yeah, there's. There's some outstanding bill or there's someone that already asked me for help. Like, all that money's already gone there. But, like, when I was younger, 14, somebody dropped $100. Oh, my God. That changed my whole week, the trajectory of everything.

[Curtis]

Mine to be. How delirious I was. I was so dumbfounded to everything, that life just felt way better. Now you're so aware you see certain shit and you get. No, I don't get depressed about it.

[Mike]

I would say you're jaded to it in a sense.

[Curtis]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, it's nothing new. I think mines is like liking people for no reason. Because you'd be like, why do you like this person? And like, I don't know, he had fruit snacks. You know, it's like the little. Like the little thing can make you like a person. Like, it's legit. Like when you're a kid, if you hoop. You had a hoop session with somebody one day and y' all bonded over hooping and shit, like, it still happens. With grown men and shit like that. But as a kid it just felt different. Like that was like, that's your homie, that's your best friend. You had. You had a new best friend every week.

[Gene]

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know the last new grown man friend that I've had. Like, it's very hard for me, like to break that barrier because people be having so many skeletons.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Like you would think a dude is cool and he ain't got no car and it's like, I gotta pick you up every time. Let's go hoop, bro. I ain't going today. Like no, bro. Let's go hoop, bro. Pick me up, bro.

[Mike]

What would you say yours is?

[Pat]

I think mine is like the aura of summer. Like summer vacation, you know, like when you know you off of school and it's just like this. The air smell different.

[Mike]

That is true.

[Pat]

I only get that feeling like on a Sunday or if you like off

[Gene]

of work early or some, you start roaming around, man. You got. You got one condom in your wallet.

[Mike]

The same one in high school. I probably had the same condom in my wallet for months.

[Gene]

That was definitely expired. Expired Magnum in my. You and the girl talking like, like, just in case I'm prepared.

[Mike]

Yeah. You drop your wallet and like, oh, my bad.

[Gene]

Is that a rhyming packet? That's love making, baby.

[Pat]

It's summertime.

[Gene]

So which hole to go in?

[Mike]

I feel like our body. I feel like our body's like auto healed as well. Like you can fall off a bike when you're a kid. And that shit hurt for like four minutes. Next four minutes you on to the next thing. I feel like just like again, like the self awareness to like things like pain and shit like that, bro. It's like you're like Wolverine as a kid. Niggas recovering from broken bones in eight weeks and shit.

[Gene]

Also like me now as a grown man, I get bored easily. Like there's something. There's some things that become like super intriguing. Like a video game is only intriguing to me for the first time I play it.

[JSN]

Yeah.

[Gene]

And then after that it's like very annoying. And then you realize like, oh, damn, this shit sucking my time up. Like, okay, I've been playing this game for two hours and still arguing about the same shit. The people that I play 2k with be mad as hell cuz I just ghost him. Cuz I be playing video game for two hours and then I see two. Once I see two have the same argument within two hours. Stop cutting to the Basket. When I'm driving, I'm like, you just told this that 30 minutes ago. This ain't got no comprehension skills. I'm wasting my time. I'm out, bro. We never gonna win. Like, I'm out of here.

[Sarah]

Hold on. I can't hear y'.

[Pat (Caller)]

All.

[Mike]

Can you hear us now?

[Sarah]

Oh, yeah, I can. Hi. Hi.

[Mike]

Hello. Oh, Echo.

[Sarah]

Oh, hold on.

[Mike]

You guys on?

[Sarah]

I don't know why I. Echoing. Oh, wait, I got to get on speaker.

[Mike]

No, no, no. Do you. What? Do you have us on right now? Oh, sounds good.

[Sarah]

Oh, now you're off speaker. Why the is y' all mocking my voice like that?

[Gene]

That was literally the echo. What are you talking. That was your own voice.

[Sarah]

No, that was not. No. Damn.

[Gene]

Echo. Okay, hold on. Turn her down a little bit. Oh, my God.

[Mike]

Happy, happy international woman, by the way.

[Gene]

Actually, Decade.

[Sarah]

Thank you.

[Mike]

For you, maybe.

[Sarah]

Century.

[Mike]

I'm giving you century.

[Sarah]

I appreciate it.

[Gene]

Infinity.

[Mike]

I got a question for you. What's your most unpopular opinion?

[Sarah]

Okay. And this is going to sound terrible, but I feel like you can be in love with two people at once. Like, it's very possible.

[Guest Male 2]

Okay.

[Sarah]

And I feel this way because not anymore, but I was, like, heavily in love with both of them. I thought they were both great people,

[Gene]

but I think I'm talking, like, she on the Bachelorette.

[Mike]

No, I think. I think in the courting stage. In the courting stage, you probably can be. Were are these, like, two people you're in a relationship with? Is. That's what I'm trying to get.

[Sarah]

Okay. So what my situation was. Honestly, I feel like it could be being a relationship with both of them personally, but my situation was. So I was never. I think it get a little tricky when you, like, having sex with both of them, and I wasn't doing that.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Gene]

Would you have sex with any. Any of them?

[Sarah]

I was having sex with one.

[Gene]

Yeah. Okay.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Gene]

That's important.

[Sarah]

So I lived in Italy at the time, and then I was in a relationship with somebody out there, but I was also in love with somebody in America. And I just. They treated it like it was so bad, and it really was not, especially because I was not having sex with both.

[Gene]

Okay, so my guess is that you. You were having sex with a guy in Italy.

[Sarah]

Yeah, of course.

[Gene]

Right, right. But. But did. And you knew that you were going back to America eventually, right?

[Sarah]

Yeah, but the way I'm in the military, so, like, there lies the problem right there, though.

[Gene]

You knew what you was doing.

[Guest Female 2]

Okay.

[Gene]

You was having sex with the person that's who you was in love with physically because they right there and con inconvenient. And then you wait and then you kept the other one on the line because, you know, like, oh, I gotta go back to America soon. I need my boo over there.

[Sarah]

I did not keep him on the line for that. No, no, no, no, no. I talked to him all day. All day, every day. Even.

[Pat (Caller)]

Though.

[Sarah]

No, because if I was in them, you said you could hear me echoing again.

[Gene]

No, no, you're good.

[Sarah]

Oh, but like, and that's where it gets tricky because you don't want to be a up and be two. But. But honestly, if I would have lived, like, if we all lived in the same place.

[Mike]

You would have been too nice.

[Sarah]

Yeah, I would have. So you're only not have been.

[Mike]

You only were not having sex with them by proxy.

[Sarah]

Yeah, with the one for sure.

[Mike]

With the one.

[Guest Male 2]

Yeah.

[Gene]

But.

[Guest Female 2]

But it was like.

[Gene]

Okay, but the thing is, like, when you went back to America, what. What did you do? Because I'm guessing you back now.

[Sarah]

So I. I lucked out, actually. So when I came back to America, the other person came back to America too, of course, but we went to different places, so it was like, all right, now I'm fucking with both y'.

[Pat (Caller)]

All.

[Sarah]

We all live in different areas, so everybody's like, happy.

[Gene]

Wait, wait.

[Sarah]

And I just made sure I never. I just never did it in like a. In a two month span of each other. So, like, if I went in. If I went to one place, I had to wait two months till I went to the other place. I felt like I was keeping it fair and I was getting tested in between. Like, I felt like I was doing a good thing.

[Gene]

How many people.

[Sarah]

And I really did love both of them.

[Gene]

Did any of them think it was exclusive?

[Sarah]

Well, they both thought that.

[Gene]

So you don't think you was doing something wrong? Because that's like a lie right there. Right?

[Sarah]

Okay, but that's the thing about it. Men are delusional. And we don't talk about this enough because.

[Gene]

Talk about it now.

[Sarah]

Granted, I never. I never, like, said, like, oh, I'm. But no, really, I did, like, with both of them. They both know who. Like, we all knew who each other was. If you feel like, oh, you're just so much better than this, so she's gonna with me more, that's on you.

[Gene]

All right? Y' all playing the game. Got it.

[Sarah]

Is that. I mean, but.

[Gene]

But you get. But you get what you're saying, right? You saying, like, hey, if y' all want to play this game. Y' all can. But you are the game, though. Yeah, probably that they playing and you letting two dudes know, like, oh, I'm not the only one. So my guess is you're okay with both of them having somebody else too.

[Sarah]

You. No, but I'm a terrible.

[Gene]

But I have accountability.

[Sarah]

But I have to work on myself. That is a flaw within me.

[Pat (Caller)]

Okay.

[Gene]

No, Just saying you have to work on yourself and continue to do what you do is crazy.

[Sarah]

Wait, I'm done doing it now. I don't do it no more. I cut both of them off.

[Gene]

You cut. What was the reason?

[Sarah]

How long ago they got to being weird? This was like.

[Mike]

Okay, well, how do I put this harshly? I think. I think you. I think you're the weird one.

[Sarah]

How am I weird, though? When I never lied. If you felt like you was a. You was a better pick, so I was gonna with you more, and you just didn't care about the other one, and that's on you. I never lied.

[Mike]

I know.

[Gene]

You just sound like. You just sound very controlling, though. You making me very uneasy right, right now.

[Sarah]

I sound controlling? I'm really not.

[Mike]

Like, have you been in a relationship after that, though?

[Sarah]

Yeah, I have.

[Mike]

Are you still in that relationship?

[Sarah]

Yes.

[Gene]

You got a man and you. I'm done with her. I can't, bro.

[Sarah]

But okay, but, like, this was back in the day. This was like 20. 23, 20, 24,

[Mike]

you know, 10 years ago.

[Gene]

Oh, my God.

[Sarah]

I was like. I was younger, so.

[Gene]

How old are you?

[Mike]

Most people were.

[Sarah]

I'm. I'm 25.

[Gene]

25. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. So the next question I'm gonna ask you is about your current relationship. How's that going? And where do you see it? Where do you see that going?

[Sarah]

It's going really good. And I think, well, you know, it'll go far. We'll get married and stuff like that.

[Gene]

Are y' all official?

[Sarah]

Yeah, we are.

[Mike]

Like, both of y' all know that?

[Sarah]

Yes. And I don't. I don't not live with nobody else. Just him.

[Gene]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. She got it all figured out, man. We wishing you love and happiness. We glad you got. You basically had your fun. That's probably how you got your man, because you went through that, and I don't think he was in love.

[Sarah]

And I was ready to sit down. Yeah, I don't think you love one person.

[Gene]

Yeah, I don't think you know what in love mean, especially if you saying you was in love with two dudes at a time. I think you just, you know, like Mike said, like, whoever was closer. That's what he was hunching on. Wait, wait. How you meet the new dude?

[Sarah]

I went to high school with him, but I met him. Well, not met him, but I started, you know, talking to him later.

[Gene]

Was y' all in it? Y' all end up being in the same state? Because I'm guessing you moving around.

[Sarah]

Well, we started in different states, but now we're in the same state. But still a couple hours.

[Gene]

How y' all get to the same state, though? By luck.

[Sarah]

Yeah, by luck.

[Guest Female 2]

Well, I mean, hey, so we don't

[Gene]

know if you don't want any.

[Sarah]

He got a job.

[Gene]

If you move again, fellas be on the lookout.

[Guest Female 1]

Oh, no.

[Mike]

She come to your state.

[Gene]

You all right. You have a great one in North Dakota. Like, send her cinder you.

[Sarah]

But thank you.

[Gene]

I love you, girl.

[Sarah]

Of course.

[Curtis]

Just don't.

[Gene]

Just don't come to Wisconsin. My don't want.

[Sarah]

All right, Goodbye.

[Pat]

All right.

[Mike]

You have a good one. Yo, yo, what up?

[Gene]

What's the deal? What up, gang?

[Pat (Caller)]

Y'.

[JSN]

All.

[Pat (Caller)]

We having, like, technical difficulties over here or what?

[Gene]

I mean, people didn't have to know that before you said something, though. We having technical difficulties. Can't keep their mouth shut. All right, we got a question.

[Pat (Caller)]

All right. What's your question?

[Gene]

Pat, you up the move. I got you, bro.

[Pat (Caller)]

All right, bro.

[Gene]

What's the unpop. What's the unpopular man?

[JSN]

What is it?

[Mike]

Oh, wow.

[JSN]

Sorry.

[Gene]

You just.

[Guest Male 1]

Sorry, Pat.

[Pat (Caller)]

I'm sorry.

[Sarah]

Okay.

[Gene]

What's an unpopular opinion?

[Pat (Caller)]

That you have an unpopular opinion.

[JSN]

So

[Guest Male 2]

couple.

[Pat (Caller)]

I'm not gonna lie. I don't know if y' all remember me. You guys told me to come to Milwaukee one day. It was like episode 100.

[Mike]

I had the.

[Pat (Caller)]

As Pat likes to say, the sticky ass. After I was eating pancakes at

[Mike]

ihop

[Pat (Caller)]

at, like, 4am So I went, right. I listened to y'.

[Pat]

All.

[Pat (Caller)]

I. I decided, like, you know what? I was in the area. Why not pass by Milwaukee, get to see Milwaukee for the first time. I took your advice literally. I went. I went to Enterprise, bro. I got me myself a nice little gray Kia Soul, cheapest there, just to have it. Rolled my windows down. It was.

[Gene]

Bro, I was cruising.

[Pat (Caller)]

I was cruising, and then I stopped. You know, you ever seen those things on. On YouTube, like, the hood Eats? And I was like, yeah, it. I'm gonna look for, like, a little spot to eat. I'll leave the car parked. I'll be good. Not even 10 minutes. I was in that store for 10 minutes. So I didn't like the menu. I came back out. That was gone.

[Gene]

That boy fed the streets.

[Pat (Caller)]

That was gone.

[JSN]

You left.

[Mike]

You left your. You left your windows down.

[Pat (Caller)]

Yeah, we told you we did. Yes, Mike.

[Mike]

No, you got to run the tape back for that one.

[Gene]

This natural selection right here.

[Pat (Caller)]

Everybody that's watching the pod can look back.

[Mike]

What episode?

[Pat (Caller)]

I think it was something. I think it was a Hunted or something.

[Mike]

Find the episode and send it. But I don't believe you, bro.

[Pat (Caller)]

Bro, y' all were like. It was you, Pat and Gene. Yeah, Gene was telling me where to go.

[Pat]

I remember it.

[Gene]

No, you gotta, like, you gotta come up. You gotta come back. That's what I was.

[Curtis]

I was.

[Gene]

OK. Next time you come here, rent a BMW. Go to JJ's Fish and Chicken. Eat your fish and chicken in the car while bumping some chicken pee, bro.

[Pat]

There you go. There you go.

[Mike]

You be good.

[Gene]

That's more. That's more of a vibe out right there.

[Pat (Caller)]

I don't trust y' all anymore, bro.

[Curtis]

What?

[Pat (Caller)]

No. Enterprise is so pissed, bro. I can't even rent a car from them no more.

[Gene]

Also, KIA Soul Ill, bro, you told me to get a. Not a K.

[Pat]

That's the.

[Gene]

That the Hammer dumpsters be driving this.

[Pat (Caller)]

No, I ain't gonna lie to you, though. That. That. That had some space in there.

[Guest Male 1]

I ain't.

[Mike]

So when you saw the car was stolen, what was your next move?

[Pat (Caller)]

I ain't gonna lie to you. I sat there. I mean, what else can someone do, bro? I just sat there. I looked at the empty ass space in the. On the side of the road. I was like, oh, no, I remember,

[Gene]

dude, you in the army too, ain't you?

[Pat (Caller)]

Yeah, military. I'm in the Air Force, bro.

[Gene]

The Air Force. Oh, yeah. I hope them bags pack.

[Mike]

That boy had no social awareness.

[Pat (Caller)]

I don't know what they served. It was like. It's like a. Like a small, like little bodega looking thing. And I was in there and I. I'm gonna be 100 with you. I was completely distracted, bro. I was with my. I was my friend, too. They called me a dumbass after. Afterwards, when I walked out, too.

[Mike]

Do you leave. Did you leave the car running or you just didn't. It was off.

[Pat (Caller)]

I thought. Honestly, I left the. The windows down a little bit. I. I thought I locked the car, though.

[Gene]

Yeah, we got.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Decision making is not good.

[Mike]

Yeah, man, I'm. I. I have a little worry for you that you're in the army right now, like, but did you learn a valuable Lesson, though.

[Pat (Caller)]

Yeah. Not to trust you, bro. Nor Gene, bro.

[Mike]

So we're. But Gene is Gene. That's crazy.

[Gene]

That's crazy.

[Pat (Caller)]

Nah, Gene is Gene, bro. Gene. I. I give Gene, like, a pass, bro. Gene is cool, bro. He's like a mime, bro. He dresses like a mime.

[JSN]

So sorry.

[Gene]

Hey, man, just be on the lookout for drones.

[Pat (Caller)]

I'm not going, bro.

[Gene]

AWOL on our podcast, bro. I don't wanna, bro.

[Pat (Caller)]

What if I'm, like, I'm. I'm drinking my Starbucks that they give us, and I'm just hear, like, a buzzing sound to hell?

[Gene]

Hey, man, what side of history you want to be on? You want this to be on the good part of Netflix or the bad part of Netflix?

[Pat (Caller)]

The good one.

[Gene]

There you go, brother. Don't be a hero, bro.

[Mike]

How do you want to be remembered?

[Pat]

All right, man.

[JSN]

You have a good one.

[Pat (Caller)]

I won't be remembered listening to Crash Dummies podcast. Sitting in my ass in the chair, bro.

[Gene]

Hey, there we go.

[Mike]

I hope they steal your car.

[Gene]

Yeah, we don't want war, bro.

[Guest Male 2]

What's going on? Yo, this is crazy.

[Gene]

What's crazy, bro?

[Guest Male 2]

I've been watching y' all since, like, episode 160 and finally got on the pod.

[Mike]

Congrats, man.

[Gene]

We don't know if you own it yet, but we'll see.

[Guest Male 2]

Oh, yeah, true, true.

[Guest Male 1]

My fault.

[Pat (Caller)]

G. You right, right?

[Gene]

Just call you Gene.

[Mike]

Yes. Or do you say Gene or G?

[Guest Male 1]

G. Oh, okay.

[Gene]

As in gangster. I got a question for you, bro.

[Guest Male 2]

What's happening?

[Gene]

What's your most unpopular opinion?

[Guest Male 2]

So I feel like you shouldn't associate sports all the time with tall people.

[Mike]

Okay. How tall are you?

[Guest Male 2]

I'm six.

[Guest Male 1]

Six

[Gene]

what? So what sport you play? Yeah, did you play sports in high school? School, college.

[Guest Male 2]

Okay, so, yeah, I did play sports in high school and stuff like that, and I played a little bit of college ball, but I had dropped out. You know what I'm saying? I played right guard and, like, sometimes center.

[Gene]

Okay? Oh, okay. You a bigger guy. How much you weigh?

[Guest Male 2]

300.

[Gene]

300. So you 6. 6. 300. Okay. Where you work at now?

[Guest Male 2]

I work security for right now, but

[Gene]

right where you're supposed to be. You. Right where you supposed to be?

[Mike]

No, you intimidate. You probably intimidated. Looking at security, too, because I don't.

[Gene]

I don't need.

[Guest Male 2]

I mean, yeah, if I work for

[Gene]

a marketing company, I don't need to be staring across from a. That's built like that.

[Pat]

You know what I'm saying?

[Guest Female 1]

No.

[Guest Male 2]

Cause, like, you're not wrong. Because, like, usually, like. Because I do security. Like, downtown, stuff like that. I'll just look at somebody and like, hey, bro, I cut it out and don't even. Or sometimes I don't have to say nothing, but, you know, you got it.

[Gene]

Because.

[Curtis]

Where do you work?

[Gene]

What type of security you do? Like, clubs and shit or, like, more like stores?

[Guest Male 2]

I do security like in, like, a parking garage and stuff like that. Sometimes I do, like. I don't know if y' all know what sheets is, but she's just like, a wawa. But, like. Because late night, that's when, like, come in from, like, the club and. And get acting crazy. You see what I'm saying?

[Gene]

Has there ever been a time where you were scared and your side saved you, but they didn't know that you were scared?

[Guest Male 2]

I wasn't. I wouldn't say there was a time I was scared or something. Like, it was more so, like, there was like, this one time these. That was, like, arguing, and I was at, like, the sheets, and dude was about talking about shooting the place up, but he ended up leaving. You know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

But so do you get. So people ask you all the time about your height then?

[Guest Male 2]

Yeah. So, like, basically, like, you know, every time I, like, especially when I'm at the parking garage, like, early mornings, I do, like. I work, like, seven to three. People will be like, oh, you should, because I live in Pittsburgh. So, like, you're like, oh, you need to walk on for the Steelers or you need to. The Steelers need you, man.

[Gene]

Like, real. You have ever thought about, like, it's not that many people that. 6, 6, 300. Like, you have to be so ass at football. Like, so ass.

[Guest Male 2]

I'm not. I'm really not.

[Gene]

There's no such thing. You had to be ass or you really didn't love that shit. Like, you really hated it.

[Guest Male 2]

I. I just didn't love it because here's what it was for me. So, like, you know, growing up, obviously, my dad, he's tall. He was like 6:3 and stuff like that. But me and him right now especially isn't on the best of terms. Because he felt. He felt. Because he messed up his life so badly, to the point where he looked at me as his.

[Mike]

Like he was trying to live through

[Guest Male 2]

you, I guess you could say, yeah, he's trying to live through me and basically try, you know what I'm saying? So he only talked to me about, like, sports and stuff like that. And he'll get little training sessions for me, but Then don't pay for the next session and stuff like that. So I felt like for a long time, especially as a kid, I was playing sports for him and I was good at it and stuff like that. Especially because I didn't really start till for.

[JSN]

For.

[Guest Male 2]

It's like my senior year because like my freshman year and sophomore year, it was at a weak ass school that had favoritism and. But literally as soon as I transferred to another big high school out here where I live at, I was basically playing varsity immediately. And then, then my senior year when I first started, I made second team, all conference parents. We made it to the championship. And then I had gotten my D2 offer. So I feel like if I would have had the opportunity since I was a freshman.

[Gene]

You're just missing one thing. You just need to. You just needed to be adopted by a white family.

[Pat]

Tell us about your relationship.

[Guest Male 2]

See, it's crazy because that's not the first time somebody made that blindside comparison. And then especially, especially because I. I went to this high school called Pit Hills. It's the same high school Aaron Donald went to. So like, my father was always comparing to him or be like, oh, you trying to be like 80? And the crazy thing is I actually ran into him one time when I was at the. While I was playing ball at the Y. He was like a little charity event or something like that there. He ran to me.

[Curtis]

So you play football?

[Gene]

Damn you big as. I'm not gonna lie. Like, obviously, I do think, you know, you were right to not pursue something you didn't love, especially if it was pushed on you by your parent. But I'm thinking about being in your dad's position. And if I'm six' three and my son just happened to be six' six, 300 pounds, and he don't love football, I would say a goodbye to you too.

[Mike]

I think, I think a lot of it, A lot of the questions and a lot of like, the disdain comes from like, the, the jealousy of like, I would do what I would do it with that height.

[Gene]

Yes, exactly.

[JSN]

Yeah.

[Mike]

If I was 6, 6, I wouldn't be podcasting.

[Gene]

I literally wouldn't. I would literally be playing for the Detroit Lions right now. Strapping.

[Mike]

But I think it's also like the, the male ego of like, us knowing the type of athletes we were as well too.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And how much we really like how close we were to those, like, different levels of football.

[Gene]

Also, like, you probably were always looked at as like, like some type of cash cow. You know what I'M saying, like, people only talking to you about sports, so that probably made you not love it as much. So I. I get see it.

[Guest Male 2]

It's partially that, but that too. Like, I wasn't always just the tall guy. I was a smart too, because I graduated with a 4.0.

[Gene]

I'm not trying to hear that. I need a pulling guard. My get up to the second level, block this linebacker.

[Pat]

All that

[Mike]

grades you talking about?

[Gene]

Grades I'm talking about. Can we count on you?

[Guest Male 2]

See, that's what I'm talking about right there. Just because I'm big doesn't mean that I'm not good for anything else. You know what I'm saying? I feel like I just added on to the stereotype. Like, oh, these big wasting their weight.

[Gene]

I'm not even lying. I couldn't even be friends with somebody like you. I be like, if we was best friends, we'd be watching a game together. I'd be Just look at you in disgust. Like, watch out.

[Guest Female 1]

Right now.

[Guest Male 2]

Right now.

[Pat (Caller)]

What you want to do?

[Gene]

You said what you want to do?

[Guest Male 2]

Oies. Right now. We can get. We can hit up right now.

[Gene]

That Okies.

[Mike]

Is that what is that Oklahoma?

[Gene]

That's what you call it. Want to do Oklahoma's with me, but don't want to do it. Get other like.

[Mike]

Yeah, you want to do that to that detachable one. He talking about me.

[Gene]

You let Aaron. You let Aaron Donald call you a fat and say to him, that's crazy. What would you do, though, Aaron Donald to you up.

[Guest Male 2]

I ain't gonna lie. He would me up that he's strong as hell. I ain't. I ain't there yet.

[Guest Female 2]

I ain't there yet.

[Curtis]

Feel it, bro.

[Gene]

No, I feel it.

[Mike]

No good. We definitely just joking with you. We definitely understand where you're coming from, though. Yeah, we still. We still gonna ask you if you 6, 6, 300 pounds. I'm definitely asking you what sports you played.

[Pat]

I'm not gonna lie.

[Curtis]

Like, you.

[Guest Male 2]

Not for sure.

[Gene]

Like Mike said, you literally, like, if we was friends, you can't talk about no NFL player because I'm gonna just look at you and just be like, bro, if you wanted to be in NFL, you would be there. You literally.

[Sarah]

How old are you?

[Guest Male 2]

I'm 21.

[Gene]

Oh, my God. You still got college eligibility left, right?

[Guest Male 2]

Yeah, Cause. Yeah, get this off my line.

[Gene]

Go to the bro, I'll see you in two years. You owe me a million, too.

[Guest Male 1]

All right, bro, get to the league.

[Gene]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

Yo, yo, yo.

[Guest Male 1]

What up?

[Gene]

What up?

[Guest Male 1]

What it do, man? What's cracking?

[Gene]

What's cracking, dude?

[Guest Male 1]

Hey, chill out on that.

[Curtis]

Where you.

[Guest Male 1]

Where you from, Casey?

[Mike]

Mo.

[Gene]

Oh. Oh, that's two hours. That's two hours from St. Louis, right?

[Sarah]

Right?

[Guest Male 1]

Yeah, like two to three. Yeah.

[Gene]

So you coming to the live show?

[Guest Male 1]

No, I don't think I'm pulling up to St. Louis now.

[Gene]

Oh, you got some. Oh, you must got some beef. They must have ran you out of town or something.

[Guest Male 1]

Hell, no.

[Gene]

That literally can't even come to our live show.

[Mike]

Come to the show. Like, what I tell you?

[JSN]

Hell no.

[Mike]

Got a problem

[Guest Male 1]

y' all got.

[Gene]

Hey, come to. Hey, come to Kansas.

[Guest Male 1]

Kansas City. I'm gonna pull up. Come to Kansas City. I'll pull up.

[Gene]

All right, bet. But why you can't go to St. Louis, though, man?

[Guest Male 1]

I don't want to drive three hours. I ain't gonna lie.

[Gene]

Okay. We feel it.

[Pat]

All right.

[Gene]

We got a question for you.

[Guest Male 1]

Yes, sir.

[Mike]

What's an unpopular opinion that you have?

[Guest Male 1]

Man, you should be wearing socks to bed. You should be wearing socks when you get out the shower. You should be wearing socks and slides. You should not be going sockless.

[Mike]

Like, why don't you. Like, so you sleep with socks on?

[Guest Male 1]

Oh, bro, I don't remember the last time I slept without socks on. I'll be camping, and I got socks on.

[Mike]

Feet dysmorphia. You shower with your socks on?

[Guest Male 1]

Hey, no, I don't shower with my socks on. Hell no.

[Gene]

I guess it's like everything, like, with socks is, like, opinionated. But this is where I draw the line. Do you wear socks at the beach?

[Guest Male 1]

Man, if it's if, bro, that saying be hot sometimes.

[Gene]

I ain't gonna lie.

[Mike]

Nah, socks at the beach, But I'll

[Guest Male 1]

take them off if I get in the water.

[Gene]

You live in Kansas City. What you mean, the sand? Too hot?

[Pat (Caller)]

I've been.

[Guest Male 1]

I've been. I've been to Mexico, but before.

[Gene]

Okay, it. It is sometimes hot, but still, socks on the beaches.

[Mike]

I'd rather just be with no socks. With flip flops on or something. Or sandals on on the beach if it's that hot.

[Gene]

But he said he don't wear socks without innocent.

[Guest Male 1]

I don't like sand in my toes. I don't like stuff in my toes and.

[Gene]

Oh, I know. I know it is. You got that black toenail?

[Guest Male 1]

No, I know my.

[JSN]

My.

[Guest Male 1]

My feet look cool, bro. I ain't got no up feet. I ain't got that.

[Guest Female 1]

That.

[Guest Male 1]

I don't got no bunions or nothing like that. I'm Cool.

[Mike]

Does this affect you in relationships? Like the person you with? Do they have to also wear socks to bed?

[Guest Male 1]

Nah, bro, but she be like scratching my leg with her nailing on her

[Gene]

toes, and I'm like, what the.

[Guest Male 1]

Put some socks on, bro.

[Gene]

I don't want to feel that. No, that's crazy. But you just don't like feet, bro. I. I don't know.

[Guest Male 1]

Cause women feed is different. You know what I'm saying? They can be out, but I don't want to see no dudes gnarly feet when I'm walking through Walmart. Like.

[Gene]

Like, bro, no, it sound like.

[Guest Male 1]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, Wally world. Yeah, bro, you be seeing some crazy there. Oh, you worked and then people be gotten them crazy heels. No, I don't work there, but I just went there today and I just seen some. Bro, I seen somebody with toes that. Hey, was that look like dog nails?

[Mike]

All right, man. You have a good one, bro.

[Guest Male 1]

Man, you too, doc.

[Mike]

All right.

[Guest Female 2]

Oh, my gosh. Is this real?

[Gene]

It's actually AI, but you'll. You'll get to the real podcasters soon.

[Guest Female 2]

Oh, that sucks.

[Gene]

Oh, we're just doing. This is just a briefing before you talk to Mike or Pat. How tall are you?

[Guest Female 2]

How tall am I? Five seven.

[Gene]

Five, seven. Is she good? Okay, send her through. Sending you through.

[Mike]

All right. Welcome to Crash Court. How are you?

[Guest Female 2]

Oh, my gosh. Is this real? Are you guys, like, real?

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah.

[Guest Female 2]

Is key there?

[Mike]

N. He's not here today. It's just a crash course.

[Guest Female 2]

Where the heck is Big Self at? Elon Still.

[Mike]

That's crazy. Where are you from?

[Guest Female 2]

I'm originally from New Orleans.

[Mike]

Oh, okay. Where you lived in.

[Guest Female 2]

Oh, my gosh.

[Mike]

You come to the live show.

[Guest Female 2]

I'm really on the phone. Have y' all seen the messages I've sent y'? All? No.

[Gene]

Let's check them.

[Guest Female 2]

Hold on. Don't let me put y' all on speaker. I sent y' all buku messages and y' all ain't replied yet. I gotta talk about my sad, miserable life to get a reply.

[Gene]

You've been blowing our up.

[Mike]

Oh, damn. All right, take. First of all, take off us. Off speaker is kind of echoing our. Our end, so.

[Guest Female 2]

Oh, okay, Sorry.

[Mike]

We might still echo on your end, but, you know, it's about.

[Guest Female 2]

No, you're fine.

[Mike]

Anyway, welcome to Crap.

[Guest Female 2]

This is so cool. I'm like, at the post office right now. I had to leave up out of there.

[Gene]

How old are you?

[Guest Female 2]

You don't have to wait.

[Gene]

I sound you sound you at the post office. Midday, you sound a little. You know what? You sound. You sound perfect. Happy International Woman's Month.

[Guest Female 2]

Thank you. Oh, my God, I'm gonna cry right now.

[Guest Female 1]

Y'.

[Sarah]

All.

[Guest Female 2]

Like, y' all don't know. I have been listening to y' all podcast for a long time. Y' all came into my life when I really needed it. Like, I don't know how to explain it.

[Mike]

I'm sorry you might disappoint you during

[Guest Female 2]

this call came into my life. It's okay. I'm used to disappointment from men.

[Mike]

Okay, what's your situation?

[Guest Female 2]

What happened to that guy Cayenne that y' all was talking to in the beginning of your podcast? Like, where he get go? Did y' all check up on him?

[Guest Male 1]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gene]

Who?

[Mike]

Kayan. The one kid I used to call all the time.

[Gene]

I really don't know.

[Mike]

There's one kid that was in high school.

[Gene]

I don't know.

[Guest Female 2]

Come on now. It's your podcast. Do better.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Mike]

What the.

[Guest Female 2]

I mean, not Mike. What's that? I'm sorry.

[Curtis]

Not Mike.

[Guest Female 2]

I'm sorry. Jean. There.

[Gene]

Yeah, right here. What's up?

[Guest Female 2]

Hi, Jean. What do you look like, Jean? I tried to look on your Instagram and I didn't see nothing. I didn't see a picture of you.

[Gene]

Oh, I'm like. I'm like five, ten, about two. Too sexy.

[Guest Female 2]

That's Pat.

[Mike]

Anyway, what's your situation?

[Guest Female 2]

I'm in love with a married man. I know. Yuck.

[Mike]

Have you.

[Guest Female 2]

Are you involved people who know that I love him?

[Mike]

You said what? Go ahead.

[Guest Female 2]

Y' all only know I never told anyone that I'm in love with him.

[Gene]

Have you told him?

[Sarah]

Heck, no.

[Guest Female 2]

I'm not stupid. Well, I'm kind of stupid, but not that stupid.

[Gene]

Okay, tell us the story of how you met him and how you ended up being with a married man.

[Guest Female 2]

So I gotta be a little secret to you because I don't know who listened to y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Guest Female 2]

No, I'm just kidding. Nobody listened to y' all that I know. I met him at work.

[Gene]

Thanks for that.

[Mike]

Y ain't.

[Guest Female 2]

Are y' all laughing with me or

[Gene]

at me a little bit?

[Curtis]

Both.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Guest Female 2]

Dang, that sucks. Oh, I'm 27. Wait, am I 27? I just had a birthday.

[Mike]

Let's stay on track here, all right? Come on. Order in the court.

[Pat (Caller)]

Sorry.

[Guest Female 2]

I think I have adhd, D. I

[Mike]

don't think we do, too, though. Sorry.

[Pat (Caller)]

Come on,

[Gene]

Og.

[Mike]

So. So how'd you guys meet?

[Guest Female 2]

This is so cool. We met at work.

[Mike]

So, like, did you guys have Any like. Like, involvement with each other? Like, were you guys, like, seeing each other kind of on the side?

[Guest Female 2]

Oh, yeah. He cracked me just the other day.

[Gene]

Whoa. I guess, like, you just zoomed so far in this story. No, no, no.

[Mike]

She.

[Guest Female 2]

Okay. We met at work, and I seen him at work, and I didn't know how to approach him, so I just, like, kind of, like, admired him from afar. And then I transferred into his department, and then I asked somebody about him. I was like, hey, is he single? She was like, oh, I don't know. But he got a kid. I was like, oh, the good ones always got a kid. Ain't that right, Pat? But yeah, I was just like, dang, that's crazy. Like, what the heck? So then, I don't know, I just started speaking to him more and more, like, flirting with him. And then one day, me and one co worker, who's actually a friend of mine, and him and another male co worker went out somewhere. And, you know, the drink started hitting, and I got a little bolder. And then we left our cars at work. We went somewhere that was close to work. And after that, we was in the car, and I was like, hey, Mr. Man, you single? He was like. And I was like, dang, that's a shame. Cause you fine as hell.

[Gene]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Y' all in the car by yourselves? Like, y' all off?

[Guest Female 2]

Yeah.

[Gene]

So, yeah. Okay.

[Guest Female 2]

We got off of work early one day, and it was me. It was me, him, a guy, and a girl. All of us went for drinks after work. And then we left our. We drove in one car. We drove two cars. Yeah, two cars. No, we drove in one car. So we drove in one car over there, and he met us there. But on the way back, my friend was like, hey, why don't you just, you know, give me a me? Can y' all not leave my. Can y' all leave my name out of it?

[Mike]

Yeah, don't just use fake names. Just use fake names.

[Guest Female 2]

No, I'm gonna use my real name. But, like, still leave it out, please.

[Mike]

That's more editing.

[Guest Female 2]

Okay, I'm. Okay. I'm gonna just. My friend was like, why don't you. Why don't you drive. Why don't you let. Why don't you drive Sarah back to work? And I was like, my ninja girl, you. You came. You right. You right. So we was talking, and then I was flirting with him, and I was like, oh, you fine. You got some pretty eyes. Like, you single? He was like, nah, I'm not. I was like, dang, that's crazy, because you fine as hell. And then he was like. And I was like, I'm serious. So then I got in his face and I gave. We parked at the job. We made this a job, but I ain't get out the car yet. So I was still, you know, shooting my shots. I was like, oh, you so cute. You so fine. Like, is it like, what's. What's going on? Like, hey, how are you? Can I get your number? I think I. I don't know how I got his number, but I got it.

[Sarah]

It.

[Guest Female 2]

And he actually. I think I got his number because they have, like, work phones. And I don't remember how he got my number exactly, but he texted me on his work phone before, and I was like, well, I want your personal number. He was like. So I was like. I grabbed his phone and I put my personal number in there, and then I called myself. So I made sure he got. So I got his number, but I don't know what happened. I guess because I was in a garage, I didn't have a signal or whatever. Guys, what happened to, oh, we. We don't. This ain't a safe space no more?

[Mike]

What happened?

[Gene]

Nobody said nothing.

[Guest Female 2]

I think y' all said thirsty. I'm not deaf.

[Gene]

Did somebody say thirsty?

[Mike]

Mike's.

[Gene]

Oh, Mike.

[Mike]

No, I didn't say thirsty.

[Guest Female 2]

Stop gaslighting me.

[Gene]

No, that might. I swear I didn't know who said it, but if I knew who it was, I'd knock they ass off.

[Guest Female 2]

It was you.

[Gene]

It wasn't me.

[Mike]

I got adhd. Come on. We just. We just threw off our trash. Come on.

[Guest Female 2]

So anyways, then. So then I gave him my number, but I guess because it was in garage, the call from him to me didn't go through because he got a Android. So I didn't get his phone. I didn't see the, like, the miss call on my phone. So I texted him on the work phone. I was like, hey, I made it home. He was like, you have a good weekend. I was like, see you Monday. So then he texted me. It was like, towards the end of the year at this time. And he texted me off his personal number, like, happy New Year. I was like, happy New Year to you and yours too. And then I think nothing else, like, well, I'll shoot my shot. He. He ain't with it. So then I seen him at work Monday, and then I was just. He was like, hey, Sarah. And I was like, hey. And then out. Because I was feeling, you know, rejected, awkward. But Then I went to his office one day, and I was like, you know, what? If your thing don't work out with you and your Mrs. Then, you know, get with me. And then I was like, you know, I don't break up a happy home, but if that don't work out, then you can get with me. So then we started telling.

[Gene]

I don't break up a happy home, guys.

[Guest Female 2]

I know. Okay? I know.

[Sarah]

Okay.

[Guest Female 2]

So then we started to, like, text back and forth, but nothing came of it. And then one day, he asked me to. What was it he. Because he get off earlier than me. So he asked to eat one day. Like a little date, I guess you could say. Someplace close by the job. So I was, okay, cool. Like, of course. So then we was eating, and I was like, just getting to talk to him, getting to know him, blah, blah, blah. So then we done eating, and I. He walked me to my car. But then I wanted to see his car, but I really just want to be in his car with him. So he was showing me around his car, and I was like, oh, nice. Yeah, cool. Let's get a back seat. And he was like, I was just flirting with him. And then I got in the back seat. I don't know how we got back to the best y'. All this. We've been messing with each other a little minute now. I forgot. Honestly, my memory is trash. So then I. What did I do? So we were just kissing and stuff in the back and, you know, feeling and touching. And then eventually, you know, we came. It became more, you know, sexual, obviously. And then he was like, you know, you deserve somebody. You don't deserve to be nobody's side piece. You deserve somebody who could get you whatever you want.

[Gene]

He gave you some good pointers after he hit, huh?

[Guest Female 2]

No, that was before he hit.

[Mike]

Oh, okay.

[Guest Female 2]

He was like. He was like, you know, I'm a dog. Like, you deserve somebody to treat you right. I can't give you gifts and take you out and blah, blah, blah. I was like, oh, you can't do that. I was like, look, I like you, you like me. I just want some dick. What's up?

[Sarah]

Up?

[Guest Female 2]

So then we just been, you know, doing the do ever since then.

[Mike]

How long has this been going on?

[Guest Female 2]

I think it's been a year or two.

[Guest Female 1]

My God.

[Guest Female 2]

No, it's been 2020. It started in 2024. No, I started.

[Gene]

Okay, okay, we got that part. Let's talk about you. Let's talk about you. And, like, do you want to.

[Guest Female 2]

I'm very self Aware, guys, we know that.

[Gene]

Okay?

[Mike]

Self aware with zero action doesn't mean anything. I hate when people say that. I'm self.

[JSN]

Aw.

[Guest Female 2]

Using that Nigerian education, aren't we?

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Gene]

No. Let's talk about you, though. Like, do you ever want to find love?

[Guest Female 2]

Yeah, I do.

[Gene]

So, like, why, why are you wasting

[Guest Female 2]

married and have kids?

[Gene]

You wasting your twenties on a married man?

[Guest Female 2]

Yeah, I know. Are you, like, accept the love we think we deserve and I think I deserve that.

[Guest Male 2]

Are you.

[Mike]

Are you waiting out, like, do you still have hope that his marriage won't work out?

[Guest Female 2]

Like, a little, little, little bit. But listen, hear me out, hear me out, hear me out, hear me out. So they separated. So, like, he moved out of the house. So, like, technically they're not together anymore.

[Gene]

Do you know why they separated, though?

[Guest Female 2]

No, I forgot. No, I asked him, he said it's just been like, it's been in the works for a long time and this is like a way to solve the problems they've been having.

[Gene]

Yeah, you.

[Guest Female 2]

That's been happening way that. That was happening way before I came.

[Mike]

That's what they are.

[Guest Female 2]

But the thing is.

[Gene]

But like, okay, so, like, I think you're. I think that one of the reasons why you keep this going on because you feel like you have some type of attachment to him and that you might get him after he separates from his wife. But I'm trying to tell you, and I'm like a thousand percent positive I put all my money on this. You not the only side, girl.

[Guest Female 2]

Oh, no, I'm sure I'm not. But, like, right now, I am. He not mess with nobody else. I mess with other people while talking to him. But like, I. Whenever, like all them other situations don't work, I go back to him and like, I genuinely like him as a person and he likes me as a person. Like, we could actually, you know, I think his wife.

[Gene]

I think his wife like him as a person too.

[Sarah]

Huh?

[Guest Female 2]

No, she don't. They always arguing.

[Gene]

Yeah, that's gonna be you.

[Mike]

I wonder why those arguments keep starting.

[Guest Female 2]

She don't understand him like I do.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh. All right, we sentence, bro.

[Gene]

What's something you understand about him? Actually? No, I don't care.

[JSN]

No.

[Gene]

Let's go to C. You're right. No, no, no. We love you, but, you know. You up?

[Mike]

No. You up.

[Curtis]

No.

[Gene]

It's going to sound like sizzling fajitas. Where you going? So what we gonna do is you

[Guest Female 2]

gonna meet me there?

[Guest Male 1]

No.

[Guest Female 2]

Save me a table.

[Gene]

No, I promise you, I don't know why y' all think I'm going there with y', all, but let me tell you something. You say you 27, right?

[Guest Male 2]

Yeah.

[Guest Female 2]

And you wasted 2780.

[Gene]

You wasted, like, half your 20s on this dude already. Damn near right.

[Guest Female 2]

I wouldn't say half. I mean, I was 26. Now I'm 27. But I want love. But love doesn't want me. Like, the last guy was with. He literally did me so dirty and wrong. It's like, I try to put out so much love out there, so much karma, and I give people the benefit of the doubt. And, like, no one wants to be with a good girl, so it's just like, I might as well be what they want me to do.

[Gene]

Let's do this. Pick it. Number one through five. Let's end this here.

[Guest Female 2]

Four.

[Gene]

Four perfect 400 years.

[Mike]

No, no. Since it's almost Women's International Month, we'll give you one year less. So. 399,

[Gene]

you said.

[Guest Female 2]

Advice, advice, advice.

[Mike]

Oh, to stop.

[Gene]

Let's start there. We don't want to give you too many steps since you got adhd.

[Mike]

Let's start with stop sleeping with the married man.

[Gene]

Stop a married. How about that?

[Guest Female 2]

But, like, I like him. Well, you know, and he likes me, I think. I mean, he put up a whole freaking. He helped me with my apartment.

[Gene]

Yeah, we gotta go.

[Guest Female 2]

The other day.

[Gene]

Oh, yeah. How much he put down?

[Guest Female 2]

Wait, guys, I just want to say thank y' all for having me. I hope I made the pie. I really love y'.

[Pat]

All.

[Guest Female 2]

Like, it's so cool. Y' all honestly don't know what y' all do for me. Like, honestly, I put y' all on when I'm just feeling. I just need a good laugh. And y' all brighten my mood every freaking time.

[Gene]

Like I said, you just using niggas to have good times lately, huh?

[Guest Female 2]

No,

[Gene]

no.

[Mike]

She got, like, five other podcasts she said this about already.

[Guest Female 2]

No, I didn't. Y' all the only podcast I listen to. I try to get into other podcasts, but they don't do it for me.

[Mike]

Nah, we appreciate that.

[Gene]

Yo, let me put on my glasses. What up? What's the deal, bro?

[JSN]

Numbers, man. Numbers.

[Gene]

Welcome to Crash Course Court.

[JSN]

I appreciate y. Appreciate you.

[Pat]

All right.

[Gene]

State your case.

[JSN]

My case is I'm trying to be a good guy, my girl. So when I want to cheat, I just. I just be my me.

[Pat (Caller)]

Huh?

[JSN]

When I want to, like, check, cheat, like, you know, just, like, go ahead. There's another girl. I just. I just be My me instead, like,

[Gene]

how close do you get to texting? The other girl is like, oh, damn. I clicked on her picture and I made her dms. Let me stop. Let me go beat my meat.

[JSN]

It's probably like. Like I'm. I'm like two seconds from click on the button. Like, you know, the send button. Or probably sometime just like send.

[Mike]

That's definitely attempted cheating.

[Gene]

You technically still cheating because she knew that she wouldn't with it cuz she like, damn, why you so close?

[JSN]

Yeah, but it's like, you know, I'm. I'm new to it, so I'm new to like loyal.

[Mike]

So you've been convicted of cheating before, huh?

[JSN]

My. My pad says yeah, but this one, this is a good girl. So I gotta. Gotta lock in with this one.

[Gene]

Oh, man. Make sure next time you show up to our courtroom, make sure your lawyer present us with that information before we start the case. Know we had a repeat offender.

[JSN]

N. I'm trying to clean slate.

[Mike]

Like, how many times did this happen per week?

[JSN]

I would say like N. Like good two times. Good two times.

[Mike]

Just all crazy.

[Gene]

Two times a week. Two attempted cheats a week.

[JSN]

Yeah, I mean, I'm just

[Gene]

like, what's like, what's like. What drives you to get to the DMs? Is it horniness? I'm guessing. I guess that makes sense. That's why you bean your meat. Is your girl not giving you enough in. In the bedroom now?

[JSN]

She is, but we trying to like, you know, like be celibate and be purity. Something like, like stuff like that.

[Pat]

Why.

[Gene]

Why are y' all trying to be celibate? We're just trying to take our life

[JSN]

for the Lord, man. You know that, that's. That, that's really it. Really.

[Mike]

No, I feel it.

[Gene]

I get it. But you. If you really trying to do that, then you need to admit that you're a sex addict.

[JSN]

She knows, but she don't know everything. Like, she knows about my past, but she don't know about like, you know. You know, I, you know, just stuff down a bit. You still used to use to.

[Gene]

So I'm like, like with this case, like, I honestly believe that you cheated before because I've never heard nobody just be like, oh, I deleted the dm. I think you're not getting the responses you want from certain women.

[JSN]

N, N, N. It's like, it's like Dan, when I see send it, it's like, n. Let me. Let me understand. I shouldn't be doing that.

[Gene]

Uns.

[Pat (Caller)]

Now you.

[Gene]

Now you admit that you send it every time you say something. It's brand new evidence.

[JSN]

No, I'm like, I'm like just adding detail, more detail to.

[Gene]

It's both.

[JSN]

It's both of the. I don't want to. So like that.

[Mike]

Are there conversations happening before? Like, because obviously you're just not gonna shoot your shot. A cold shot. There has to be kind of some type of warm up conversation, right? So are there the warm up conversations and you're like one, one next text away from it being something else or is it just you shooting code?

[JSN]

The only, only. The only conversation is like in person. Like. Like in person.

[Mike]

Got it.

[JSN]

Because like now like into like, I don't do the phone stuff. No more like because you know, she was a screenshot of Mrs. And she like that. So it's more like in person. Like if I want it, I can have it type of situation.

[Gene]

It don't make no sense.

[Mike]

Did you say he unsended?

[Gene]

He unsended. Now it's only in person. You can't unsend a statement that you said to everything.

[JSN]

It's literally everything.

[Gene]

So that's what I'm saying. I know you cheating brother, man.

[Mike]

Give him. Give him. Give him attempted. We'll give him attempt to cheat in this time. Have we seen him again in this courtroom though?

[Gene]

That's three strikes. If you come back because you already been caught cheating.

[Curtis]

We.

[Gene]

We not going to. We going to wrap all your other cases up as one. We going to call this an attempted cheating. If you get more. One more attempted cheating or cheating, then we're going to have to just do a life sentence because it's just like at this point.

[JSN]

Yeah.

[Gene]

You don't. You don't know his limits.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. Dangerous to society.

[Gene]

He just dangerous.

[JSN]

No, come on, man.

[Gene]

All right, state your case. We either going to do life sentence or. Or we gonna. No, we gonna let you off with a warning. But you should need to state your case to let us know that it's okay to let you off with a warning. So tell us you're not gonna cheat again and why.

[JSN]

I won't. I won't cheat again. Ever.

[Gene]

Yeah, we can't do it. Big dog got at least five years.

[Mike]

Five for attempted.

[Gene]

Five for attempted. Bro, you gotta. We gotta go.

[JSN]

Stop.

[Gene]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

Hello.

[Gene]

Yo.

[Guest Female 1]

Hey.

[Mike]

Hey.

[Guest Female 1]

I didn't think you guys were actually gonna call. Sorry.

[Mike]

No, you're good. You're good. Welcome to Crash Court.

[Guest Female 1]

Hi. Glad to be here.

[Gene]

I guess you wear glasses

[Guest Female 1]

sometimes.

[Mike]

State your case.

[Guest Female 1]

Okay, My. My case. Okay. I. So I'VE been kind of seeing somebod, like, I would say September, maybe October. And like, for reference, I guess I'm kind of younger. I was in a really long term relationship at a very, very young age from, like, high school into college. So then whenever we, like, started talking, I kind of led with the idea that I was, like, not looking for a relationship. He's also significantly older than me. Not like crazy, but a little bit. So when we started see each other, I led with that. Then he kind of, like, was pushing a lot, and he would make things, like, very, very official, like, super physical in public. Buying me, like, expensive gifts and then giving them to me in public. And we had a lot of, like, mutuals. So it just kind of became very, very public really, really fast. And I tried to pull the plug, and he responded by sending me concert tickets and concert tickets.

[Gene]

To who, though? Concert tickets to who?

[Guest Female 1]

To. Oh, God. I feel like I'm already giving too many details. K Tronada was the first one,

[Mike]

and

[Guest Female 1]

then second, we went to Art Basel in Miami.

[Mike]

Oh, you got an art team?

[Guest Female 1]

I do music. That was like, he know you?

[Gene]

He know you there.

[Guest Female 1]

He's reading me like a book like that. But, like, I'm not a gift person, period.

[Mike]

Why don't you want to be in a relationship? Like, what's like, what's holding you back? Because it sounds like he's like, love bombing you.

[Guest Female 1]

That's what my friends say. Yeah, I. I'm just. I'm not trying to jump into anything. I'm 26 and I was almost married at, like, 21 or 22, so. And the thing is, is that it's like, I'm a person who kind of needs to feel a distance to, like, want somebody.

[Gene]

He all over you.

[Guest Female 1]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I get it. He's just not your style of person. You can't see yourself living life with him. When's the last time you took a gift gift?

[Guest Female 1]

Valentine's Day.

[Gene]

God damn.

[Guest Female 2]

But listen,

[Guest Female 1]

I told him on, like, Sunday or Monday. I was like, I don't think we should do this anymore. Like, I'm feeling bad at this point. That's literally what I said.

[Guest Male 1]

Okay.

[Guest Female 1]

And then he responded by being like, well, I already got this stuff, and, like, I can't return it.

[Curtis]

Okay.

[Gene]

Okay, let's go through a list of the most expensive items he got you so we know.

[Guest Female 1]

Oh, God. Well, I mean, for Chris, I mean, for Valentine's Day, he kind of went crazy and went like, roses. I like stuffed animals, bought me like, two n. Two new stuffed animals, and then, like, this whole big thing of chocolates. And then offered me tickets to Rolling Loud, which I had to, like, turn down because I was like, we're already here. Like, I broke up. I broke up with you on Monday. But aside from that, the Kada tickets, the hotel room for that. Then we went to Miami. And also, every single time I go out, he will pay for me, even if we're not together.

[Mike]

Are you seeing other people, too?

[Guest Female 1]

Yes, for a little bit. I backed off. Out of respect.

[JSN]

Kicked in.

[Mike]

So why don't you just tell them that you. Have you told them any of this that you don't want to? Like, again, like, reiterated it.

[Guest Female 1]

Yes. Like, the Monday before Valentine's Day. Like, I was like, I don't think we should see each other at all. I think we need, like, distance, and, like, we kind of work near each other sometimes. Like, we don't work together, but it's like, we already see each other a lot, so I know that distance is needed. And he responded by saying, like, I've been repressing deep. Oh, my God.

[JSN]

God.

[Mike]

I think, honestly, you just got. You just got to kind of stand on business a little bit more. I'm like, you know when you kind of say you're going to. You want to keep distance, I think you just got to, like, don't let. Don't get blinded by the gifts.

[Gene]

I. I disagree. I don't think she's trying hard enough, and I think she knows she's not trying hard.

[Mike]

I'm saying that she really wants to leave it.

[Gene]

She doesn't want to, though. She's just waiting.

[Pat]

She just.

[Gene]

She can't get rid of them because it might be that gift, and she don't know it's to. Going. Coming. You know what I mean? She don't want to miss out on that gift.

[Mike]

Keep playing that gift. You gonna get an engagement ring?

[Guest Female 1]

I.

[Pat (Caller)]

No, no, no.

[Guest Female 1]

I mean, I'm not waiting on a specific gift. I think it's just, like, I'm hopeful, I guess, you know? And, like, it does show. Like, as people have told me in the past, because I've dated a lot of, like, dare I say, bombass niggas, so my friends are like, you should expect some.

[Mike]

What's there to take on that one, huh? Oh, she.

[Gene]

She black.

[Pat (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Guest Female 1]

Yeah. I'm mixed.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Curtis]

Yeah.

[Guest Female 1]

I promise I'm not going crazy like that, but, yeah. So for me, it's like, when I met him, I'm like, okay, well, he's showing Intention in a way that I don't normally see, but at the same time, it also could just be love bombing. But who decides that?

[Guest Female 2]

You.

[Mike]

You. Because every. Everybody's definition is different. I think there's. Everybody has their. Their threshold.

[Guest Female 1]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Gene]

I say like, like you seem like you want to get out, but you've also been taking gifts. And did y' all spend Valentine's Day together before we sentence you?

[Guest Female 1]

No, I worked.

[Gene]

You worked, but you still took the gifts?

[Guest Female 1]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Mike]

Did you guys do anything like the day before, day after type of thing? You know, some people. People don't. Some people work on Valentine.

[Guest Female 1]

I ran into him the day after because, like, he wanted to try to talk things through.

[Gene]

That's all we need to hear. That's all we need to hear. We gonna give you a year.

[Guest Female 1]

Okay.

[Gene]

I'll take it for being part time gold digger. Part time lover girl. It's a year.

[Mike]

You have a good one.

[Gene]

Crazy from you too.

[Curtis]

All right,

[Gene]

did you hear the story? There was an 11 year old charged as an adult with criminal homicide after shooting his sleeping father. His father was 42, and he shot him on his birthday.

[Curtis]

Damn.

[Gene]

He told authorities he found the keys to the gun safe while searching for his Nintendo Switch that had been confiscated. So the dad took away the sun Nintendo Switch and the son went and got a real switch.

[Mike]

Oh, my God. That's crazy.

[Gene]

Switched him down, man. Shouldn't be taking. Moving on. I'm just playing RP to the Nintendo Switch because ain't nobody gonna use it.

[JSN]

No.

[Gene]

Okay. It's tax season. Just tweeted a week. Somebody said them taxes bring up. Them taxes bring the city out. I'm seeing people I thought passed away, But that's real, though. But I also think tax season is around springtime, which is closer to summertime. There's some people that just don't pop out in the winter. And I say Milwaukee is like one of them spots where if you are actively going out during the winter time, you see the same, exact same people. But when summertime come around here, when

[Mike]

it hits 45 degrees here and all

[Gene]

these festivals, you start seeing people like, what the. It just be like some random. I saw a dude that was 6, 5, 3, 30, and he live a regular life. I was like, bro, what an idiot. Like, you're just a regular.

[Mike]

Like, there's only like six, eight dude too.

[Gene]

Don't that be tripping you out?

[Mike]

Like it trips me out a little.

[Gene]

No overseas ball. I get like, sports isn't everything. Like, bro, I need to know what you do, bro, the. You mean you work at co.

[Mike]

It just. It just would be a. It just would be annoying to be 6, 8 and not have like a sports background. Because everybody's going to always ask like, what you play basketball. It's like the same thing. Now you're explaining yourself and now you have people saying, if I was your height, I'll be doing excess. I'm like, bro, you know how many people I would have felt like slapping?

[Curtis]

Yeah, but being six, eight and not doing nothing with it is kind of selfish.

[Gene]

I mean, you still got. You still got it within you. Like your sperm worth a lot. You know what I'm saying?

[Curtis]

A lot of them.

[Mike]

Like, yeah, you. You can procreate, you can pro.

[Gene]

You know, you can still create. So you still got like some type of an advantage. But I also feel like you got a disadvantage because you can't work like a regular job. I don't want to like the. At Subway making my sandwich. Can't be six, eight or. I'm not. Not going there. Like, it's something wrong with him. Like, why is he here? But it's up because people like that used to be looked at as freaks before sports got super popular like back then in the day. Like you six, nine people probably. You probably annoy the. Out of people. The contractor come by like, bro, I'm not building in this.

[Mike]

No. 69. You automatically have to be a knight and gotcha. Oh, you got like. There's no way. They wouldn't be from like back then. The. In the.

[Curtis]

What's the.

[Mike]

What's those. What's that era called?

[Curtis]

Medieval.

[Mike]

The Medieval times.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah. They.

[Mike]

It's like you're not gonna. You're not. They're not like, let you be 6, 8 and you not do nothing. You're not going to be 220 pounds, 6 foot 6, 3 and not do nothing.

[Gene]

They say they going to pull up as soon as you have your girl spur. You ever heard of jousting? Let's get you ready for that.

[Mike]

What's that say? As early as 20, 26, Oliver, whatever his last name is, recognized as the tallest living teenager. Seven, nine. Oh, damn. That's like.

[Gene]

He plays for Florida, right? Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Is it Florida State or Florida?

[Mike]

Florida.

[Gene]

Yeah. He don't get in the game like that though.

[Curtis]

That's because he's slow as.

[Gene]

He don't know how to use his body.

[Mike]

That's the thing. I think coordination really comes like. That's why Wemby is so different.

[Gene]

Wemby is different.

[Mike]

Because he's, like, tall and coordinated.

[Curtis]

As I was trying to tell y' all about women, Yama, I could bring up.

[Mike]

Oh, my God. God.

[Curtis]

Been telling y' all about women, Yama,

[Mike]

since the most popular player.

[Curtis]

How was he the most popular? He wasn't even that popular when he first popular. He wasn't like LeBron was overrating him and doubting him. I told y' all he was.

[Gene]

I told y' all he was gonna

[Curtis]

be cold, and y' all said, bro, he can block shots, bro. He's seven foot.

[Mike]

The sun will come up tomorrow, too. Keith.

[Curtis]

Comparing them to y' all was comparing. Comparing him to taco fall. No, I remember it, man.

[Mike]

Pull the clip up, bro. Find the clip.

[Gene]

You and your friends be talking so much, bro, you.

[Curtis]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Mike]

We said wembiama wasn't going to be great.

[Gene]

Please, somebody find.

[Curtis]

He wasn't gonna be this. I'm telling you.

[Gene]

Okay, okay. Somebody said this. Somebody say, y' all be single and pre hating your partner already planning what you not about to do for them.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

I hate, bro, I'm not gonna lie. I hate tweets like that. I hate people that say, like, they not gon. I hate people saying they not gonna do. I'm not gonna let my woman do such and such. I'm not gonna let my man have a girl best friend. Like, bro, you don't. This is life. My name.

[Curtis]

But, you know, it's. It's about your own boundaries and what you.

[Pat (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Your preferences.

[Curtis]

So you probably did that. And now you single and you don't want to do it no more.

[Gene]

I understand that. That's part of, like, life. Like, but to. When people just be like, oh, I'm not double texting. I'm not doing this. I'm not doing that. Like, bro, you do what you got to do, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat (Caller)]

Oh, yeah.

[JSN]

Yeah.

[Gene]

That's why, like, life is life. Like, people putting these rules on life. Like, you always see people with, like, hard rules. Like, I never do this. Like, bro, ain't nobody about to walk back around this pole, cuz. You don't want me to split a pole. I believe in God, bro.

[Mike]

I hate.

[Curtis]

No, we gotta.

[JSN]

I gotta walk.

[Mike]

No, we gotta end that pole splitting.

[Curtis]

You said. What syndrome is that?

[Pat]

Main character syndrome.

[Mike]

You gotta split the poll. Yeah, we gotta end that Main character syndrome. Let's end that.

[Curtis]

No, splitting the pole is bad.

[Mike]

Bad.

[Curtis]

Y' all ever spin a pole and

[Pat]

have a bad night after pushing your beliefs on people?

[Mike]

I split a poll my whole life, and this Podcast has exploded.

[Gene]

Who exploded?

[Mike]

The podcast.

[Gene]

No, but for real, I like what's so. Like I broke a mirror before.

[Curtis]

Oh, okay.

[Gene]

I walk with. Supposed to. I forgot the black cat thing. Like I walked. I walk under a ladder before.

[Curtis]

So you. So nothing negative has happened.

[Mike]

That's life though.

[Curtis]

No, but you can't. Like, there's rules and regulations to it.

[Gene]

It's already.

[Curtis]

But it's about, it's about what you believe though. Cuz you can rewrite your story. So whatever you believe is what's going to happen.

[Gene]

So if I believe.

[Curtis]

If I believe in splitting the pole is bad luck, then I'm going to get bad luck. But if you don't believe it, you ain't going to get it. But you. You gonna get it though.

[Pat (Caller)]

What?

[Guest Male 1]

What the.

[Curtis]

You gonna get it.

[Gene]

That's gonna split that pole.

[Mike]

You gonna get it.

[Gene]

Now pause. Don't make sure you don't split a wrong key. He gonna.

[Mike]

I get what you're saying too.

[Gene]

You gonna get it if you don't split that.

[Mike]

I get what you're saying too, because it's the same thing with like black magic. Like my parents always be, like in Nigeria, if you like believe in it and you want to find that. Yeah, you, you, you'll find you. Right, but if you don't look for it. But the thing with spinning polls, I think you just like, if you start making bad decisions because you split that pole, then it's like, that's you. But then what if it's already in your pole?

[Curtis]

What if I split the pole and then future, you know, tomorrow I fall and bust open my knee.

[Gene]

Earthquake. No, but I'm just saying that's part of manifesting though. Like if you believe like you did something that's going to give you bad luck, then you putting that. You putting that wave.

[Curtis]

So y' all don't believe in no luck, no bad luck, no nothing?

[Mike]

No, I believe in like karma and like that, but I like.

[Pat]

How about the law of attraction?

[Gene]

Yes, thank you, thank you.

[Curtis]

But that's look, that's. That's.

[Gene]

That's magic.

[Curtis]

You could say.

[Gene]

It's look, you can say. I mean, you can name it what you want.

[Curtis]

That's what I'm saying.

[Gene]

You can name what you want, but you can't go through life thinking like just happened.

[Mike]

But then. No, no, no, you. The thing about the splitting the pole thing, it's like it takes two. It takes two people to split the pole, right?

[Curtis]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So it's like you're already involving me. You can have your own beliefs and the things that you won't do. Like, you don't want to step on a crap crack. You don't want to break. No, that's in your control.

[Curtis]

What if I just go around the pole, though, and don't say nothing?

[Mike]

That's you.

[Curtis]

That's what you supposed to do.

[Pat]

I feel like I seen Mike intentionally.

[Gene]

Intentionally split the.

[Mike]

Yeah, to prove a point.

[Curtis]

Evil, bro.

[Pat]

But you, you know, you were with people who didn't really.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's like, come on.

[Gene]

That step on a crack, breaking my back don't work. It was literally one time. I was mad as hell in my mom. I stepped on like 15,000 cracks and I went over to her bedroom. I'm like, you don't feel nothing?

[Curtis]

Still got a whooping ass, bro.

[Pat]

I got in trouble for stomping on the crack one time.

[Gene]

Oh, for real? She saw you do that?

[Pat]

Yeah, I was. I was upset.

[Gene]

What's like, the easiest, like, thing? Not easiest thing, but, like, what's the lightest thing? What's the lightest thing you ever got in trouble for? Like this, like, where you were just like. Like now looking back at it, it's like, why did I get in trouble for that?

[Curtis]

Not being able to solve a message math problem.

[Gene]

That's crazy. If Johnny had five apples.

[Mike]

Yeah, exactly.

[Curtis]

That's probably like the most wilder because it's like, why, like, you not good at math neither. So why you? Why I gotta get my ass before.

[Gene]

That's crazy he ever taught me this. Like, now listen, we gonna do fractions, but it's with lasagna. I get it now.

[Curtis]

All right.

[Pat (Caller)]

All right.

[Gene]

Come on now.

[Curtis]

All right.

[Gene]

I feel like I do.

[Curtis]

That was a.

[Mike]

For me, I would say it was very non traditional thing. Like, it was. My dad used to have these tennis balls, right? Like, because he plays tennis a lot. So I'd open you if you don't ever seen a new pack of tennis balls. It's like, it opens like a can of like, pop. So you kind of like click it open right there. I opened it for No, I don't know what reason. I filled it with water and I put soap in it and I closed it and I put it in the fridge and let it freeze. And I got in trouble for that, but it was just like. The theory was, I don't know what I was doing that for. So it was like a stupid reason, but I think it was just because I opened the. The little tennis balls and like that. That the dumbest reason I was playing

[Pat]

with A ruler just in class and. But I had smacked it off the table and it flew and almost hit somebody in the eyes.

[Gene]

Like when I accidentally.

[Curtis]

That's fine.

[Pat]

To me, it felt like real little. You know, that was the first time I got suspended. And I was like, what the.

[Curtis]

Oh, suspended.

[Pat]

It wasn't on purpose.

[Gene]

And I got in trouble for pillow talking on my mama. I was like, bragging, cuz I just got a whooping. And I was like, in my sister's room just talking about, like, how my mama lost it. I'm like, she ain't even got it no more. Didn't even hurt. I was sitting there fake crying, and I just saw, like, they eyes getting big while explaining. I'm like, y' all don't believe me? She ain't got it no more. And I realized, like, they eyes got big cuz my mom was standing behind me. Oh, man, she went crazy. She was so tired after that.

[Mike]

I was like, bro, you had to. When I got whooping, you had to, like, exaggerate the pain that you're in. Yeah, cuz, he's like, you start the time. Yeah, there was a time, Cuz there's a time you get

[Gene]

asking for two more.

[Curtis]

Just two more.

[Gene]

Would you.

[Mike]

Were you the kid that they like to know how many strokes you're about to get? Oh, my God.

[Gene]

That's.

[Guest Male 1]

How.

[Mike]

How would you explain. How would you explain the act of getting whooped?

[Gene]

Then I get. I mean, I just want to say strokes.

[Mike]

What would you say, though?

[Curtis]

Like, how many whoopings I would give?

[Mike]

A whooping is a whole thing. Okay, get hit. Okay, how many times stroke. Would you rather know the amount of times your parents are going to hit. Hit you before or you just let it happen?

[Gene]

That would be very key knowledge, honestly. But my parents would never give that up.

[Mike]

My parents always told me, really, how many you're getting?

[Gene]

Yeah, my aunt did that with like the spoon to the hand. Like, how many you gonna get?

[Mike]

Because then if you like, moved out the way for one, because usually mine was like in the hand. So you like, kind of moved out the way for it. It doesn't count.

[Pat]

You know, for me, it was always like, I would have to kind of get guess. And it was always based on what I did, you know, so it's always like a.

[Gene]

Why you are.

[Mike]

No, let's let it be like five

[Gene]

things you did that day, you know? You know, we grew up and our parents didn't really like, get their education like that. So you getting beat to a run on sentence this supposed to have a period or something? No commas, no nothing.

[Sarah]

Just

[Mike]

they let it and then let it be a thing. She mentions that you didn't do, and you be like, wait, I didn't even do that. Oh, now you talking back, they do it.

[Gene]

Especially anybody that have siblings, there's been a time, like, you're getting a whooping for something you actually did, and they add on, like, something your siblings did.

[Curtis]

Hold on.

[Mike]

Now and then talking back is like, you can't. I. I got in trouble for, like, balling my fist up while getting the whooping. Like, you gotta, like, legit exaggerate that. That hurts.

[Gene]

No, my thing was. Is, like, because it was very rare because I. I moved in a group. Like, I had, like, my. My cousin who's my age. I had another cousin who's a little bit older than me and my sisters. So we would always get in trouble as a group. It was very rare someone got in trouble, like, singled out. But when it did happen, I was the biggest troll and stuff. Like, when somebody just got done getting a whooping and they, like, you know, the person go sit on the bed. They think about it. They in their corner crying. I used to always just come in there and lean against the door. I would be like. So I used to be like. My favorite line to rage raped them. I'd be like, so what did we learn? I remember I used to rage rate my cousin into getting more whoopers. I'm like, whoa, whoa. Look like we ain't done being punished here.

[Curtis]

Y' all ever caught the belt or whatever you was getting hit with?

[Mike]

Yes, yes.

[Gene]

That was my final time, I think. I was, like, 14, 15, and my mom pushed me me. And I didn't move. And I was like, oh, I'm stronger than you. It's ass whooping. But I did grab the belt. And then she, like, call her. Her boyfriend in at the time, but, like, he was, like, a lightweight, too. And I'm just like, ain't nothing y' all can do with me, man. They just, like, at that point, man, it was a stalemate, man. Time for me to get up out of here.

[Mike]

I used to get. I used to get in trouble for not saying good morning to my dad.

[Gene]

To your dad?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Yeah, I see that. That's kind of like a respectful thing.

[Mike]

Yeah, it is like that.

[Gene]

Especially, like, with y' all growing up. He probably seeing, like, y' all frames coming up. He like, I gotta keep the respect. These dudes damn near. I'm looking at your brothers. They all like, Six foot and build. He probably looking around like, hold on. We gotta make sure we get this in order real quick.

[Mike]

Instill the fear.

[Gene]

Now they just gotta say, good morning. But I feel like that's the best type of parenting. I'm learning that as a parent. Like, even when your kid is, like, having a good time and they've been like, a good kid and they listening all day, it's good to throw in some things just to make sure you still have control.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Because, like, if your kids enjoying themselves and they're doing something they want, of course they're being a good kid. But it's really about, like, adapting to change. Like, a lot of kids don't know how to adapt to change. A lot of adults don't know how to adapt to change. How many times, like, I don't know if you've ever dated someone or been friends with somebody where it's like, just perfect example, you'll go to a bar, and we all plan to go to that bar, and we walk up to the door and they temporarily close. And then you see the, the, the regular people hop on their phone, find the next bar. Everybody else is like, oh, this ruined. Like, damn. Calm down, bro. We go to the next bar, bro. The, like, the people don't like impromptu nights. I learned that, like, that was always my biggest dating pet peeve. I can never date anybody who harp too much on change. Like, oh, I can't believe.

[Mike]

Yeah, they weren't adaptable.

[Gene]

Yeah, this got canceled. Like, so what, I mean, it's over now.

[Mike]

Yeah, I think I said this on the pod, too. I think the biggest thing my parents really instilled in me is just respect for people. And I think once you start there, it's like, it take you far. And I, I, I sometimes see these kids. That's what me making me feel unk sometimes. Sometimes I be like, damn, these, these don't got respect. You know, it's just like, Curtis, common courtesy and, like, just general respect will get you so far in life. To all the young, listen to this. Just be respectful, man.

[Gene]

I saw a grown man. I'm not gonna say his name. He like, a security guard in Milwaukee. Like, literally popular security guard in Milwaukee. He was ordering food, and I guess they took his food to the back to, like, warm it up, put it back in the oven, and he didn't know where his food was. So, like, a regular person would just be like, oh, I'm just, sorry. Did y', all, Did y' all get my order? I'm just Trying to make sure y' all got my order. I didn't.

[Guest Male 2]

I didn't.

[Gene]

I don't see it out here. Yeah, right. He was like, where my food at? And it was just like, just a simple thing of just talking to another human. Just like, where my food at? And I realized that some people get lucky in life because every time they're rude, it just happens to be a people pleaser on the other side of that rudeness. And it's like, you go through life, you go through life. Like, you get away with these things, games. But if you grow up around people that don't play that, like, I did. Like, I could never say nothing like that to anybody above me. And that, like, taught me respect. It's like, I can never make a statement to my dad and be like, man, where my food at? Like, he'll punch me right in my damn face.

[Mike]

Because especially when your parents. With your parents just like, there's a reason this thing is not there. So it's like, I'm just gonna wait till it's actually there.

[JSN]

Yeah.

[Gene]

That's where you learn the first, like, don't ask no questions. Just be ready.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Because I can't tell you how many times, like, I don't know if you've been in this position where you get in the car. You've definitely been in this position with your dad. Like, you've been in a car and you don't know where you're driving. Yeah. But you know, you know, you can't ask the person, like, where y' all going? So you're just trying to, like, put two and two together. You start looking at signs like, did that say St. Louis?

[Mike]

No. Exactly.

[Gene]

Buy your tickets.

[Curtis]

My dad.

[Mike]

Because I wake up super early and I still do. I did back then, too. It'd be like five o'.

[Pat]

Clock.

[Mike]

My Micah get up. I'm like, okay. I was like, where we? He's like, we're about to go. I was like, okay. I'm like, get my clothes on. Like, okay, where are we going? Nigga, we are in Detroit. And that's like a. That's like a five hour, six hour drive. Like, bro, a six hour drive on a Saturday morning. I missed all the cartoons in the morning.

[Gene]

My dad. My dad would take off to some shit. My dad would take off and to a basketball tournament. And I don't even know I'm going to hoop.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

I mean, I've been sleepy. Like, I don't know where we going. And that's. I know this. Toss some shoes on my lap.

[Mike]

Pack the wrong shoes.

[Gene]

This team needed you, man. Like, why the am I on the top of a two, three of a team? I never been. I never miss these. I got no chemistry with these. They talking about close out on the shooter. I don't know your name. What are you talking about?

[Mike]

Super sidebar. In a 2, 3 defense, what was your spot that you like to play?

[Gene]

I was always up top. I got to play up top or I got.

[Mike]

I love playing on top.

[Gene]

My ADHD couldn't. I couldn't be like, on the corner.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Gene]

Because I get back cut off too much.

[Mike]

Yeah. I always played on top two because defense was my thing. But as I played like the left. On the left side. Right. I would be like too. You know, Like, I sometimes, like, I always want to overanalyze things. So I'm like, help defensing way too much. Like, I'm not trust. I don't trust my teammates to actually defend on that side.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So I'm like playing it a little too forward. And now you. The back cut kind of happens. Yeah.

[Gene]

I used to pride myself on, like, zone defense. Like, actually knowing where to go like that. That's how I knew I was going to be a coach, because I used to like, like, like that. But I tell you something, that man defense and checking the main shooter, that is ass. Like, when people is like, okay, this is your man. But they don't realize like this running off five screens and he got 25 points and everybody like, who guarding that? It's supposed to be all of us, dog. I swear. Oh, man. Oh. This is a quote from Al Harrington about Michael Jordan. I just thought was super funny to me. Al Harrington said Jordan called us hoes. He used to say, come here, hoe. Shut up, hoe. Let me talk to you, hoe. I said to him, I ain't no hoe. And he's like, you a hoe. And I. I've been watching like there was a clip of like, Frank Nitty, who's like a. I guess you can call him a street baller type of person. He plays in that summer league a lot. And he. He was busting Denzel Valentine ass in the. In the game. And I was watching him talk shit, and I was like, sports is the only thing that changes the dynamic of talking shit. Right? So, like, if Key was a better shit talker than me on this right now, and we was talking shit, he got the advantage because he talks shit better.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

But like, if we're doing something that I have the Advantage in like whatever he says is like nullified. Like the other person just automatically becomes funny year everything because they do that thing that you're doing at that time. Well like somebody could literally at the highest level. Yeah, like think like NBA, right? Like let's say KD is like 6 for 17, right? I just looked at KD's career earnings. He earned like $438 million in his career, right? And he's going up against like a two way player from the Grizzlies. I forgot to do his name. Marcus Spencer. No, it's like Spencer the white guy. Spencer used to play like cross or some or his brother did. And like that dude was like clapping in his face and like at that time because they're hooping and I do has the advantage. Everything he says is good. But soon as the whistle blow, KD leaving that in a helicopter and this just got the new Honda Civic, you know, I mean like it's just like, it's just funny. Like at that time like who gets to talk the most? And we've all been in that position where like somebody busting our ass or somebody got the advantage at whatever we're doing and just like damn, whatever I say. Don't even feel confident. Like I'm stuttering right now.

[Mike]

Like I remember my last college football game. It was that snow game.

[Gene]

Oh, Wheaton.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, Wheaton.

[Gene]

And ass whooping.

[Mike]

Ass whooping. It was like legit. Like 2 degrees outside and it's a blizzard. Like there's snow plows behind us as we're like in the play and they're like a top ranked team and we're like a passing team and I've never in my life like not been able to talk back. Like they threw me the ball, the ball smacked me in my chest cuz I couldn't see. And then all I hear is in the stands, number six, you suck. By some shirtless white boys. Like in the snow. They're shirtless and they're going crazy. Coked out and everybody talking.

[Gene]

That's definitely a low blow. They said it was coked out. That's funny.

[Mike]

As they probably like finance bros now too. So they probably are doing.

[Gene]

And there's literally no, no thing worse in sports than talking to somebody. Like having a back and forth and them making a play. The next play, the crowd too.

[Mike]

It's like bro, yeah, that definitely messes with your ego a little bit, man.

[Gene]

Definitely. It's like very hard. I commend people. There's very few people that can like Fight through that.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Get cooked all day. You. I see it all the time. Like, you see people. That's like, batshit crazy. I see people that they hoop and they, like, getting buckets dropped on them. Like, yeah, okay, we gonna see. I'm like, damn, that's like. That's like real confidence, like, we already seeing.

[Mike]

I think it also takes that type of confidence to be success. Successful in a sense. Yeah. Because there's some people that won't even, like, post and stuff like that because, like, they care about the people. They actually know in real life what they think and stuff like that. So it's like, sometimes you gotta go through that cringe, go through everything like. Like that.

[Gene]

And, you know, that's the worst part about content creating.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Gene]

It's like, especially if you. Someone that didn't start off. Because when we started off with, like, our podcast, I'm not going Live, bro, we used to get 80 likes. I'm thinking about tick tock. It'd be like, 80 likes. 5 comments. But the got 60 shares, so I'm like, this can't be good. You know what I'm saying? Like, people talking about us, and it's just like, when you create content, you're on the way up. It's like, people gonna talk about your content because it's not where it's supposed to be. Obviously, you liter practicing in front of everybody else, and everybody think they can

[Curtis]

do what you do, and they're not even doing it. They somewhere worse than you.

[Gene]

No, they definitely worse.

[Pat (Caller)]

They.

[Gene]

They doing that on their close friends. Everybody want to be a content creator on their close friends. I don't want to hear that. I don't want to hear. No. If you own your close friends and I hear you talking like a content creator, I'm automatically clicking that. I don't want to hear it. Say it to the masses. Don't say that.

[Mike]

There are people that I see too on their close friends. Sometimes they'll talk about the general public. Like, it'd be like, y' all out here, blank, blank, blank, blank. It's just like, come on now. If you don't. If you don't feel that strongly about it, if you won't really, like, post

[Gene]

that, then they try to hide behind and be like, oh, reason I'm putting this on my close friends. I don't want my co workers, my job to see, like, yo, you want them to see how dumb you is. That's what it is. You're not saying shit.

[Mike]

I think I've only used Close friends one time and that was to send a big invite to our birthday thing.

[Gene]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

[Mike]

Because he's like, I don't want to DM people.

[Curtis]

People.

[Mike]

A whole bunch of people to. And I don't know who to dm. So it's like one of those things. There's like an open invite to some things. I'm gonna say. I'm not. Shame anybody that uses close friends.

[Curtis]

It's just like, friends gotta stay for what it was originally for.

[Gene]

What was it for?

[Curtis]

Oh, ass and titties.

[Gene]

It used to be for that. Because that's how not. I'm not saying just for ass and titties, but people to post dumb. Like, I think people just stopped posting dumb on their close friends. That's how John Moran got caught. Right. He posted something on his close friends and it's like, that's a big ass trust.

[Mike]

Yeah. That's the thing. It's like, who are you adding to your close friends where you know that they won't take this out of the close friends.

[Gene]

Yeah. Because it's only like, okay, let's say my cap is at 12 people I trust. Why wouldn't I just send that to their phone?

[Pat]

Like.

[Mike]

Like I'm sure, like, say. Say I put 10 people in. This is going to be extreme. But say I took like a dick pic, right. And I put in there. Don't.

[Curtis]

Don't worry about it.

[JSN]

Right.

[Curtis]

10 people.

[Mike]

Okay. Just say 10 girls. Girls that I'm close with. Right. Clip this.

[JSN]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

I'm just saying, do I think. Do I rationally think that that conversation is not going to happen outside?

[Gene]

Right?

[Mike]

No, it's gonna happen. There's somebody. Somebody's gonna say something.

[Gene]

Somebody's gonna screen record. Yeah.

[Pat]

Figure it out.

[Mike]

Or it's gonna be a conversation like, I heard you showing dick on close friends.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

That's a crazy thing to post, though. Would he judge me for that? That if I was single and I did and. And I was. I was.

[Gene]

I mean, I. I hope I wouldn't hear about it.

[Mike]

I'm pretty sure somebody would tell you.

[Gene]

Like, it'll be a crazy.

[Mike]

There'll be a girl. No, there'll be a girl. Your friend out here.

[Gene]

Yo, Pat, my girl was on your boy. He said, y here. Your boy out here. Meat maxing, bro. Meat maxing.

[Mike]

The. Is that n Me maxing is crazy.

[Pat]

Gonna name the.

[Mike]

No, we're gonna name the pod Me maxing.

[Gene]

But I hate that though. Do be meat maxing. And I don't like that me to me meat maxing. Is that you taking a picture of your genitals in a state that you put it in on purpose for that

[Mike]

picture, but it's for the person. It's for the audience that needs it.

[Gene]

That's me maxing. Maxing.

[Mike]

You know, like they say, look maxing.

[Pat]

Yeah. Okay.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Gene]

I think that's weird. Like you jacked off and you heard you up and took a picture before your penis went back down n. You

[Mike]

know, game a little too much done that

[Gene]

you alive. You say you never sent the dick pic. The is exhausting. Like cuz you getting the wrong angle and then you. You only got like.

[Curtis]

You got to take four, five of them before you send it.

[Gene]

Yeah. If you really not freaked out like that right then, I said, how you know that that.

[Mike]

What the.

[Curtis]

Why you just hold it right here. Here. Why you. You definitely got the phone.

[Mike]

I feel like dudes hold it higher though.

[Gene]

He got his in times too.

[Mike]

I feel like be holding this higher.

[Curtis]

Bro wouldn't fit in the camera.

[Mike]

His holding like this.

[Curtis]

Yeah, look.

[Gene]

Look at your stupid ass

[Curtis]

trying to

[Gene]

stupid ass trying to tell us how big his meat is. You don't think that's crazy?

[Curtis]

No, you did it. You talking about times too now.

[Gene]

He say like that, bro.

[Curtis]

Yes, you did. Did Mike the said I take meat pics in times too.

[Mike]

I think like zoomed in and I

[Curtis]

told him that it wouldn't fit in the picture if it was times two. That that got caught on his own. That's what happened.

[Gene]

That three inches and just wide as hell.

[Mike]

That's so crazy. Now we got end the pot with that, bro. That's crazy.

[Gene]

Anyway, you know.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh.

[Curtis]

You know what?

[Gene]

It looked like they got a bulldog.

[Curtis]

Oh, my God.

[Mike]

Anyway, this has been crash dummies podcast episode 248. Seven stop.

[Gene]

Stop meat maxing.

[Mike]

Episode 277 merch is out. Crashdummieslive.com for tickets. We're gonna be in your city. Can you got anything shout out? No streaming, no music to stream, man.

[Gene]

Go check out his page.

[Curtis]

Just look at my page.

[Mike]

Check out his content.

[Gene]

Content.

[Curtis]

I got some chicken dropping on Tuesday. I got some chicken dress so it'll

[Mike]

be out by the time y' all

[Gene]

know Kibi mysterious about his content like he Jay Z or some. But go check out his.

[Curtis]

I don't want to be Jay Z.

[Gene]

Go check out his vlogs.

[JSN]

And

[Gene]

I want y' all to know what the lesson that we learning, especially through like ticket sales and touring is like, bro, there's only a few people that are allowed to do these, like, surprise drops. And people just buy their product. Like, you still gotta sell shit.

[Pat]

So.

[Mike]

So if you.

[Gene]

If you don't have as many followers as us, or you got the same amount of followers as us, you still got to get out in these streets and appreciate the people that's buying the shit and do hand in hand. Still, like, don't ever think you could just sit back and people just gonna be like, man, it'd be niggas out here that don't even promote a shit.

[Guest Male 1]

Like, man.

[Guest Male 2]

Which is insane.

[Gene]

They could be like, man, I just dropped some music.

[Mike]

Mysterious.

[Gene]

And, like, Bro told me he. He make music the other day, and I went to his page, and it was nothing but pictures of him and his girlfriend. It's like, where the.

[Curtis]

Is the music? Gotta have that confidence.

[Gene]

It's the second it linked, bro. Nigga, fuck you.

[Mike]

All right, y', all, peace.