I’m Bored Of My Girlfriend - Episode 255

Summary

---

Crash Dummies Podcast — Episode 255: "I’m Bored Of My Girlfriend"

Release Date: April 22, 2026
Hosts: Patrick Johnson (Pat), Michael Esiobu (Mike), with frequent contributions from Gene
Main Theme:
Pat and Mike, joined by Gene, riff candidly on relationship dynamics, male independence, awkward social situations, club culture, and whether sex and other experiences are overhyped. The episode features listener calls, explorations of regrets and “overhyped” phenomena, and a recurring focus on the need for honesty and self-awareness.

---

Episode Overview

Episode 255 finds Pat and Mike podcasting on the road from a Boston studio. The show starts with a hilarious exchange about their experiences at Fenway Park, pokes fun at local culture, and quickly dives into topics ranging from friendships and relationships to the pitfalls of certain “overhyped” life experiences. The inclusive, rapid-fire episode is heavy on caller engagement and personal stories, staying true to the Crash Dummies style: irreverent, relatable, and unfiltered.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. On the Road: Boston Observations

• The hosts open with banter about their Boston trip, local baseball culture, and the lack of diversity at Fenway Park.
  • Mike (01:18): “There was 32,000 people at that baseball game. I don’t know if I could have rounded up 500 Black people there. … That was like a soft Klan meeting in there. Good people though.”

2. Social Etiquette at Shows

• The team discusses how friends act in public, especially at live comedy and music shows.
  • Question raised: Should you let your friends have fun however they want, even if they're "7 for 7" responding to every "Make some noise!" (04:07).
  • Mike: “You can’t dictate how people have fun, but ... you’re not about to be consistent through the whole show.”

3. Friendship Rules: Visiting Homes

• Can you be “real” friends if you’ve never been to each other’s homes?
  • The group agrees friendship doesn’t depend on house visits, especially post-COVID, but jokes about unannounced pop-ins (06:14).

4. Car Wash Attendants and Communication

• Mike shares his TikTok-inspired rant about unclear car wash attendants.
  • Mike (08:03): “It’s a very important job. … You got the sign, you tryna be too smooth, like bro—this is a $40,000 vehicle!”

---

5. Barbershop Politics & Communication

• Barbers need to be more verbal:
  • Gene (13:30): “Barbers need to start being more verbal ... Some barbers would just poke your cheek and expect your shit to inflate. ... Pause. What?”
  • The crew debates chemistry with a regular barber versus directions for a first-timer.
  • Mike’s tip: Sometimes you should visit another barber just to “keep your main barber in check." (15:12)

---

6. Relationship Independence & Planning

• Main theme: Men in relationships lose independence because of expectations to report every detail during a night out.
  • Mike (09:52): “Good men in relationships gotta fight back a little bit ... Like with your independence.”
  • Complaints about over-planning and rigid expectations from partners vs. the natural randomness men enjoy during nights out (10:41).

---

7. Best Nights Out / Near Fights

• Reminiscing about their “best” nights—often ones that almost turned into altercations.
  • “Those are the best nights. I didn’t go to jail. Nothing happened. But in my mind, I knew I would’ve beat the shit out this nigga.” — Mike (12:34)

8. What Makes a True Friend?

• Viral clip: standing by friends even after scandal or embarrassment.

  • “You my freaky ass friend. Ain’t nothing ever going to change that. You my friend. You my freaky ass friend. … Just don’t get freaky with me.” — Guest 4 (19:07)

• The group affirms that criminal activity may alter friendship, but sexual orientation should not:

  • Gene: “There’s things your friends can’t come back from. … More criminal activity. Sexuality and what they prefer shouldn’t be one.” (19:34)

---

9. Club VIP Culture: Is It Really Worth It?

• Listener caller debates whether VIP sections at clubs are overrated.
  • Guest 2 (31:01): “It’s the same thing as just going to the club; you’re just behind a sign that says VIP… I just think you’re paying more for no reason.”
  • Mike & Gene point out: results vary from night to night, and “one sausage-fest VIP experience” doesn’t mean all VIP is bad (32:53).

---

10. Sex and Boredom in Relationships

• A starkly honest caller (Guest 5) confesses:

  • His biggest regret is losing his virginity because it was boring and continues to be so.
  • “I couldn't get it up… I guess I was just nervous.” (35:40)
  • “I'm happy in this relationship… but the sex is boring.” (37:05)

• The crew gently pushes the caller toward self-awareness, encouraging honest self-evaluation and suggesting the caller may be asexual or just not compatible with his current partner (38:36).

  • Mike: “You need to figure out, like, what you really want.”

---

11. “Sex is Overhyped”

• Another caller asserts sex is overhyped because “it doesn’t last that long” and he doesn’t want to be near partners after (43:16).
  • Mike challenges: “If you say ice cream is too cold and melts too fast, maybe you don’t like ice cream. … Maybe you need to try something different” (45:57).
  • The call becomes a gentle, humorous intervention into honesty about desire and compatibility.

---

12. Not Every Regret is the Same

• A caller shares that his biggest regret was getting his “baby mama” pregnant after discovering years of infidelity—leading to both heartbreak and personal growth (40:07).

---

13. Things That Are “Funny But Shouldn’t Be”

• Topics range from gay men’s humor to mocking missing pet posters—splitting the line between relatable observations and edgy comedy (52:14).
  • Guest 2: “Funniest thing that shouldn’t be: missing pet posters. … Why the fuck are you so irresponsible that I should care?”

---

14. “Personal Peace” Is Overhyped?

• One caller argues that the hype around “protecting your peace” is overrated, and that stress and challenge are necessary for growth (50:21).
  • Gene and Mike debate whether craving peace is healthy avoidance or a necessary refuge, finding a middle ground.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You is not real. You does not feel. You does not chill.” — Mike opens the show riffing musically (00:03)
• “You can’t be my partner selection, it’s crazy.” — Mike on hosting intros (02:18)
• “You got ADHD and sometimes … you leave something alone because it’s bothering you ... why my vacuum is on my kitchen counter?” — Mike on why he avoids hosting at home (07:09)
• “Barbers try to be diverse, they be trying to cut everybody’s hair, that’s how they forget…” — Pat (16:46)
• “If you have a basic name, you can give it up now.” — Gene on naming kids after parents (59:13)
• “Let’s see how bad this can get—because I can reset through sleep.” — Mike on coping with a bad day (60:34)

---

Key Listener Segments and Timestamps

• VIP Club Hype: (30:35–33:50)
• Sex is Overhyped: (43:13–47:22)
• Biggest Regrets & Relationship Disillusionment: (35:26–42:28)
• Protecting Your Peace vs. Embracing Struggle: (50:21–51:39)

---

Tone & Style

True to Crash Dummies’ brand, the tone is raw, comical, and honest—replete with wild analogies and running jokes. The podcast is defined by a brotherly dynamic, willingness to confront taboo topics, and an insistence that self-awareness, if uncomfortable, is always funny.

---

Further Highlights

• Calling Out Online Hate: Mike notes people focus on the rare negative comment, not the 100 positives, revealing why hate is easier to grab attention (55:36).
• Twitter Is Not Real Life: The hosts laugh over a tweet where a billionaire (LeBron) is called “broke” due to a technical glitch (57:42).
• How to End a Bad Day: Mike and Gene hilariously debate whether it’s better to just “cut off” a bad day, or roll with it and see what happens (60:13).

---

Summary Takeaway

Episode 255 draws laughs from everyday awkwardness, relational misfires, and honest admissions about what society “overhypes.” With relatable listener calls, off-the-cuff wisdom, and sharp social observations, Pat and Mike keep the conversation grounded and real, reflecting on independence, friendship, and the challenge of knowing what genuinely matters.

---

[End of Summary]

Transcript

[Mike]

He turned me up a little bit.

[Pat]

Yeah, I got you.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. You is not real. You does not feel. You does not chill. Yeah, I didn't have to get it all. A friend even had to go hard at the bins talking all that. And no friends had to kill the boss man. That's boss stand all in with all in the sin with the. Hello.

[Gene]

The radio is for people who are driving.

[Mike]

I'll drive.

[Gene]

Welcome to Crash on these podcast. Welcome. Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. You guys see us? We are currently on the road actually.

[Mike]

Yeah. No, no, no, no. This is my third bedroom. This is what it looks like now. I'm kidding.

[Gene]

Yeah, we're on the road and we have to, you know, still shoot the pod and shit.

[Mike]

Yeah, we in Boston. You knocks.

[Gene]

Boston. Boston in a random ass studio.

[Mike]

You knock. I went to.

[Gene]

I heard the accent.

[Mike]

Oh, you did?

[Gene]

Yeah. When I went to the bathroom, we

[Mike]

heard the accent amplify. Me and Gene went to Fenway park to see the Red Sox play the Tigers. And man, they very passionate about their baseball around here. I definitely see how the N word could be spewed around because there's no. When I say this, there's nobody to stop it. Like there was 32,000 people at that baseball game. I don't know if I could have rounded up 500 black people there without. Without taking some employees with me. No revolution in there. No, not there. We not winning there. That was like a soft clan meeting in there. Good people though. Hey, they would. Maybe that was the pre medium. Like maybe some people only go to that party and then like it section off to. But there are clan members there.

[Gene]

Anyway, welcome to Crash Dummies episode 255. I'm Mike and this is Pat right here, my partner in crime. And then we got Jean off camera over here.

[Mike]

Partner is crazy.

[Gene]

You can't be my partner selection.

[Mike]

It's crazy. Anywho, partner in crime.

[Gene]

Oh, just quick house keeping thingies merch is sold out but we still have the woman's history century T shirts available page. Go to Crash Dummies live for the rest of the tour dates. What's the cities we got left? We got by the time they hear this.

[Mike]

New York.

[Gene]

Oh yeah. New York sold out.

[Mike]

Brooklyn still got time to get tickets. Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. We can't tell the future.

[Gene]

Brooklyn, Raleigh, Y. Pick it up, pick it up.

[Mike]

You won't see us.

[Gene]

I'm not gonna lie, Charlotte, you guys are doing great. Portland, Seattle, all coming up. And then, oh, Toronto And Detroit.

[Mike]

So, yeah, Cleveland, pick it up. That's all we gotta say. So you sent me a clip of somebody that we both know, and they were at a concert. Yeah, a comedian's concert at that. And the. You know, when the comedians do that, I'm a standstill and let the crowd just rock. You know what I mean? Y' all love me so much. And the person that we know was screaming like, ah, no, he wasn't.

[Gene]

Let's. I'll give him a. I'll give the person a fake name. Let's call it Brandon. It was like, Brandon.

[Guest 1]

Oh, my gosh.

[Mike]

I guess we can say.

[Gene]

No, no, no, no, it's fine.

[Mike]

No, no, no, we can't. He was like, look, he know he can't be doing that shit. But anywho, that it took me back, like. Cause I was like, on both sides of the fence. Like, if your friend want to have fun, let them have fun. You know? You know what I'm saying? If this is how you interact at a concert, who am I to tell you you can't do that?

[Gene]

Okay.

[Mike]

But then on the other side of the fence is, why are you reacting to everything that DJ says? Like, the DJ say, make some noise seven times a night, and you. Seven for seven. You perfect attendance.

[Gene]

Well, you just said you can't dictate

[Mike]

how people have fun, but it's just like sometimes, like. Yes, I can't dictate how you have fun, but you're not about to be consistent through the whole show. Like, you make some noise. Ah, clap it up.

[Gene]

Are you saying if you're. If you're there with them or in general?

[Mike]

Yes, if we're there together, you can do whatever you want when you solo dolo. Like, I'm not trying to do all that. Had that person next to me up all night. You ever been with somebody at a comic show and they talking out loud?

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Guest 1]

That.

[Gene]

It's always different because obviously people talk at our shows because we're very, like, crowd interactive. But there'd be, like, comedians that don't have anything. And then the person would say their opinion on something. Right? And then the person. The crowd would then give a full soliloquy of, like, their opinion. Like, bro, why are you. Why you keep talking? Like, no pauses. No. No punchlines.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Next thing you know, the comedian asking you, where you from? Yeah. Like, off proximity.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, hey, wait, where you from? You know what I'm saying? Just like, bro, Like, I wasn't doing shit.

[Gene]

Now there was a dude at the show where he kept saying he was from Jersey. Yeah, Liberia. But he was from Jersey as well.

[Mike]

From Jersey or he was from Philly. He was dissing Jersey. I'm not sure. But he did talk out loud, and he was cool going back, back and forth. But at some point, I said something that he didn't like.

[Guest 3]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And he was like. And he caught an attitude. It's like, nigga, you've been talking out loud at my show the whole fucking time. Like, how am I not supposed to say something?

[Gene]

Oh, my gosh.

[Mike]

Come on now.

[Gene]

I got a question for you. We asked this during the live show, but I don't even know if we have ever got a response from the audience. But can you call somebody your friend if you never been to the house?

[Mike]

I think so. Especially in this day and age after Covet. Yes.

[Gene]

Yeah. Okay.

[Mike]

I've never been in Gene's house, but I would consider him a friend. You know what I mean?

[Gene]

I guess I've never been in your new place.

[Pat]

I've only been there, like, not too long ago.

[Gene]

Yeah, that's. I said, still time.

[Pat]

I've been to the other crib.

[Gene]

Yeah, we've been to other crib.

[Mike]

Got it, got it, got it, got it. But you know what I'm saying? But like, I've never been to a house. I would still consider him a friend. I just feel like with. I think Covid changed everything with that. Like, you just don't step inside people's houses no more.

[Gene]

As much I think as you get older, too, like, you. I feel like there's no reason for you to pop up unannounced to my house. I just also, like, I'm just in the neighborhood and decided to knock at your door. Like, why are you at my front door?

[Mike]

No, you do that sometimes. And you'd be like, throwing me into a shock. You'd be like. You'd be like, I'm pulling up. I'm already downstairs. I'm like, what the fuck? Because I.

[Gene]

Like, you know what I did to you that I feel like I don't think you noticed yet, or you maybe just forgot as I put a. You know those little wipers things they give you at the car washes? The dash wipes? So I put a dash wipe to make it like it was a ticket on your car.

[Mike]

Oh, that was you. I thought, like, so what? I thought I. I thought I was walking. Cause I had walked in front of a group of people. I thought it fell out my pocket, and somebody was like, oh, damn, he left Already let me go put it on his windshield. Cause you want it. I didn't know you did that whole ass. I just don't like.

[Gene]

That was so long ago too. You didn't say nothing about it. Then I started to forget get too. I was like, oh yeah.

[Mike]

I was just like. I took it as that. I didn't think it was no ticket. But the other thing is I just don't like inviting people over my house because I have ADHD and sometimes I. I'll leave something alone because it's bothering me. Yeah, I'm over here like making videos or thinking of something for a podcast or something and I don't need you judging me. Ask me like why my vacuum is on my kitchen counter. It's just like, it's there. My. Like I was working on something. Hey, don't worry about that.

[Gene]

Speaking of car wash, you. You made a tick tock about this? About when you add a car wash and the person giving the instructions at the car wash, their instructions are never really clear. Like they'll be like, they'll give you a little nudge to the left and it's like, is my tire straight or not? Or it's. Or the nonchalant ones. That's what I hate. There's a nonchalant. What's that? What are they?

[Mike]

Car wash attendants, Car wash niggas.

[Gene]

So the nonchalant car wash attendance is like, they don't really give like the full motion of where they want, what they want you to do. It's like if it's like move left. It's like a little bit like boom, boom, boom, boom. Or like boom, boom, boom, boom. It's like, I don't know.

[Mike]

Yeah, I just don't like the nonchalantness. I feel like it's a very important job. Like this is a 30, $40,000 vehicle coming through, something that could literally tear into pieces. And you just doing this, you know, you got the sign you trying to be too smooth. Like, bro, there's. I'm looking at this like it's 19, 20 year old K. It's like, what did you do in this company to get this position? It doesn't seem like you're good at it because air traffic control, they get paid a lot. Right. Obviously this is not as important as planes, but I feel like it's pretty important. Yeah. You know what I mean? I feel like they underpaid or something. We got to investigate or see how hard it is. We could be actually just like. Because a lot of America reads at A fourth grade level.

[Gene]

So that is your like your stat of your life.

[Mike]

Because people don't believe it. And people like, people like go through life.

[Gene]

I haven't even googled this, so I'm

[Pat]

just going, that's why they made. Are you smarter than a fifth grader?

[Gene]

So he said we're. What did somebody say during the live show? Industry plans. I think we haven't made it big enough to be considered industry plans.

[Mike]

I think he's saying like industry plan. He says something about like our dads and shit like that. Like, hell no.

[Gene]

Like, oh yeah, he was mad that our dads were in our life.

[Mike]

Yeah. It's like, bro, it's people more successful than us with one parent household. It's. It's foster children more successful than us. You know what I'm saying? Look at Elon Musk. Money man. Look how dumb he looks.

[Gene]

Oh my God.

[Mike]

He got hella buddy. I shouldn't even be talking about somebody with that much money.

[Guest 1]

Oh.

[Mike]

I wanted to talk about relationship independence.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Mike]

I feel like men, like good men that are in a relationship got to fight back a little bit.

[Gene]

And good men that are in good

[Mike]

relationships, good men that are in a relationship. You know, you're a good dude. You're doing the right thing every day. You got a right to fight back a little bit. Like with your independence. Especially like when, when we go out.

[Gene]

Right.

[Mike]

Like I've been in relationships when I went out and I'm on my phone more than I'm having fun because I'm like, update in the girl. Like, okay, I'm about to go to this club. Damn. Such and such just left. And, and it's, it's partially our fault because we're very bad with details.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

We, we tell everyone.

[Gene]

Yeah. We're just going to the club down the street. Yeah.

[Mike]

But they over plan too. Like, how the did you know you were going to be drinking at 9:20? Exactly. Like, how the do you know that?

[Gene]

Like, I think also as dudes, we don't care about the plans. There's been times we've gone out and like, we don't know where we're gonna end up. It's just like, all right, we're just gonna go wherever the, the wind takes us. I guess.

[JD]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Because that's a fun night. Sometimes I feel like in like prior relationships, the woman I dated would come back frustrated about the night because it didn't go exactly as planned.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You know I'm saying. And we have low expectations. I literally like to go to places and be like, damn, this shit is ass. Yeah, I get enjoyment out of here. Like, I found out this place was ass and now I never have to have FOMO about it.

[Gene]

I think anything can make the night to the night could have been ass. And then you see, like, two, like, smaller people get into a brawl, and that. That's going to be the highlight of your night. It's like, bro, that night was ass. But what the. At 2 o' clock when bars are closing, big ass brawl. Well, I guess little brawl. Yeah, let's go.

[Mike]

The best. The best nights I had on with both of y' all before is almost. No, I had. I had both of y' all so crazy individually, though.

[Gene]

Oh, my. Hell, no. No.

[Mike]

But I almost had to slap the shot of a tonight night.

[Gene]

It like, okay, gotcha.

[Mike]

It's so engraved in your memory. It rarely happens as a grown man because especially if you're trying to keep peace and trying to stay away from places that you can even get into it.

[Gene]

I wasn't there when Gene was bucking up on.

[Mike]

Oh, man, that was a good night. Was that not a good night? That was a good.

[Gene]

Great.

[Mike]

That was one of my best nights. Especially, like, not to, like, brag and be like, oh, macho man. Like, oh, I can beat the out of anybody. The last three people that I've, like, almost beat the out of. The reason why it didn't happen because I was like, I'm gonna feel so bad if I beat the out of this dude. Like, it's like, not even close. It wasn't no dude that's, like, built like me and, like.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah. Very small individual.

[Mike]

Yes. It's like, this dude is small. This dude obviously don't have it all up top. And it's like, imma just gracefully, like, help him bow out of this because he don't know, like, what he about to get into. And like, those are the best nights. Like, man, almost beat the. Like, I didn't go to jail. Nothing happened. But in my mind, I knew I would have beat the out this and that's enough for me.

[Gene]

Hey, he thought so too, though.

[Mike]

I hope so.

[Gene]

Yeah, I think you have to think that either if somebody that little is like, they either got a weapon that's like an equalizer on them, or it's just like that drunk and faded.

[Mike]

Yeah, bro. What?

[Pat]

It's always like, like, you know, somebody gets into altercation and the homie comes and, like, intervenes, and then the other homie comes and it's like, no, my bad.

[Mike]

No, that's but that's how it's supposed to be. You're not supposed to be mad at the same time as your friends. Like, that's like, you don't do that, bro. You're supposed to make peace so you know if you got a fight or not.

[Gene]

So obviously I'll bring this up a different way. Barbers need to start being more verbal. I hate non verbal barbers. In terms of like, what they want you to do. Like, if they want you to like, do puff your cheek a little bit. Some barbers would just poke your cheek and expect you like your shit to inflate. It's like, what, nigga, pause. What? Poke your cheek?

[Mike]

Audio listen is going crazy right now. What the fuck is he talking about? YouTube Got your back though, but you

[Gene]

know what I mean?

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gene]

Or it's like, I'd rather the. The barber tell me exactly what to do than to like touch the part where they want me to.

[Mike]

To move. Mike wanted aggressive.

[Gene]

No, I don't want to be touched.

[Mike]

He said walk me through it. Like, no, actually talk.

[Gene]

Has actually talked me through it.

[Guest 2]

Yes.

[Mike]

Don't touch me, don't touch me.

[Pat]

Talk.

[Gene]

Don't touch the. The top of my lip. Telling me to like to do this with my lip or some.

[Mike]

Yeah, I think it's just like, I think barbers pride theirsel on chemistry with the client.

[Gene]

There's okay, chemistry does get built when you go to your regular barber. Yes, but if I'm a new. If I'm a new client, nigga, talk me through it then.

[Mike]

Not saying that I.

[Gene]

Talk to me.

[Mike]

Yeah, no, no, no, no.

[Gene]

Say words. Verbal, be verbal.

[Mike]

There you go, there you go. That's better. But yeah, but they definitely brag off chemistry. I hate when my biggest pet peeve is when I'm sitting in a chair and somebody else walks in. Like, it's probably the person that's next in. My barber tries to show off how well we know each other. Yeah, like a pat. I was telling them about the time we was cutting up in here. Remember that one thing happened? It's like, no, nigga, I've been here over a hundred times. A lot of things have happened.

[Gene]

I haven't had a new barber in a while, but the times I do go to a new barber, that's the time that you kind of open up your camera a lot more just to kind of like to get like the mid cut check and like that. No, I always pretend. Like back then when I had Snapchat, I would always just like open Snapchat and take like a. Pretend I'm taking a video or some shit, just so you don't feel like I'm putting pressure on him. That them cuts good or not?

[Mike]

No, they need pressure.

[Guest 2]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I want to let y' all know that if you have a barber and you've been with them for a while, and he goes a hundred cuts without up, and then you'd be like, damn, the last two cuts, this dude been cutting me like I'm somebody else. That's probably the reason your barber cut so many people, that sometimes they like, oh, yeah, let me. No, this is not my haircut. And sometimes you just gotta go. Every once in a while, you gotta go to a different barber. Just once. The other barber might fuck you up. But that's kind of what you need to get your other barber back in order. Because now you're going to drop down. First thing, your barber going to say, I know you went somewhere else. What the fuck? I'm telling you, at least for the next year, he cutting you back. Right? Because he know.

[Gene]

But when you go to a new barber, do you first get a full cut, or do you just start off with, like, a lining, like a little taper or some shit?

[Mike]

Honestly, like, I feel like there's a talent in, like, I've been, like, fucked up by a barber, but the haircut still looks good, if that makes sense.

[Gene]

Yeah. It was just not you.

[Mike]

Yes, it's not me.

[Guest 1]

You.

[Mike]

You. Obviously, I gotta give you more direction next time, but you are a great barber. But I've also been up by barbers where I'm just like, you'll never cut me up again. Like, you don't need to be cutting nobody else up.

[Pat]

Matter of fact, because barbers try to be diverse. They be trying to cut everybody's hair, you know, so that's how they forget, like, how to cut certain

[Gene]

diversity.

[Mike]

Get your fade down.

[Gene]

No, but that doesn't matter, though. That does matter. It does matter.

[Mike]

Gene went to one rest.

[Gene]

It does matter, though, because if you do have a barber and it's all white dudes you see getting tapers, it's like, all right, am I going to be more inclined to go to this guy or. Or go to the barber where I see obviously more black people.

[Mike]

I'm not gonna lie, that's probably the most racist thing that I do. And, like, I'm willing to admit it, if it's a white guy getting a cut in front of me and he getting, like, a fade.

[Gene]

Like, you know, like, you see scissors get Pulled out?

[Mike]

No, but it's like the black flay. Like, you know why he trying to get that haircut and he got the stud ear. We shaking hands regular. When you get out this, you're not getting a little snack. Nah, you gotta earn a little more. You gotta put in some work.

[Gene]

You shake up with people that were in the chair before.

[Mike]

A lot of people know the podcast at the barbershop I go to. I sent you a link though, to a video about real friendship.

[Guest 4]

Last week, my homeboy got exposed on Instagram. I caught him with a trans. And so I ain't talked to the since then. Been trying to call the ain't answer. Ain't been on the game, ain't replying to my text. So I finally FaceTimed the this morning. He answered, pick up the phone. All sad and it's all dark. I'm like, what's up with your fan? Where you been at? Ain't talked to him about a week. A like, trying to sound all sad and he like, oh, man, I've been in the crib, bro. I know you probably seen all that on the Internet and whatnot. I say, hell yeah, I seen that. You freaky as hell. But hey, you still trying to get up with them hoes we met at Port Royal tomorrow because they got that little art exhibit they want us to go to. And it's like after set and they was asking about you. The like, the like, man, bro, I ain't showering in like four days. I really ain't feeling. Man, I ain't trying to hear that. Get a little bussy. They act like good no more. Man, get the out of here, dog. You got me up the. The start the down laugh. He getting dressed. He on the way over here right now, man. Now, moral of the story, you my freaky ass. Ain't nobody, ain't nothing ever going to change that. You my friend. You my freaky ass friend.

[Mike]

I love you.

[Guest 4]

Just don't get freaky with me.

[Mike]

That's it.

[Guest 4]

That's it. I tell you, that's it.

[Gene]

That's all that's funny. I got. What's his name on ig.

[Guest 3]

I don't know.

[Gene]

Buck, Bucker, Fried. Okay. Oh, man, that's. That's true. I like that. That's like very. I think people judge their friends off different things. Obviously there's things that your friends can't come back from.

[Guest 2]

Right?

[Gene]

Like I would say more criminal activities.

[Mike]

No, there are.

[Gene]

Yeah. I'm just saying, just more criminal activities.

[Mike]

Sexuality.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And what they prefer shouldn't be one of the things.

[Guest 5]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Now we get to, like, even put, like, political views. There's like, a hard line of, like, okay, you voted for this person. Can we still be friends? I don't know. Maybe. But it's like, do you really believe, like, some of this?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Then it's like, all right, bro.

[Gene]

It's a lot different. Yeah. I don't know. I feel like people should approach it that way a lot more.

[Mike]

No, Definitely should, bro. Okay. The difference between me and a lot of people that want to get rich is, like, they getting rich for different reasons. I say, like, they get rich for, like, you know, the Lambos, the Porsches, the big houses, and all that's cool, right? All that's probably gonna come with it. But I'm getting rich to, like, get access to stuff. You know what I'm saying?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It's like, I want to do stuff that, like, I'm in places like, you know, I'm saying, like, why am I in a Detroit Pistons locker room? You know what I'm saying? Asking Isaiah Stewart, like, what's going through your mind?

[Gene]

Would that be the first person you talk to?

[Mike]

That'd be the only I want to talk to.

[Gene]

Yeah. Really?

[Mike]

That's a. You want to be.

[Gene]

You do kind of want to know what goes into their mind. Because, like, there's some people you. You probably meet, and then you'll be like, oh, I see why this person asks this way. Like, after having, like, a full conversation, it's like, okay.

[Pat]

Or.

[Mike]

Or you talk to them, and it's a whole science behind what they doing. You'll get around. There's so many people that I believe that for.

[Gene]

Dylan Brooks, I believe that for.

[Mike]

I believe that for Isaiah Stewart. That's why I brought it up. It's just like, I believe there's a science behind what he does. I believe, obviously, sometimes it's just like, damn, you gotta tech at, like, a weird spot. It might have affected the game, but it just, like, the things that he do. And, like, the science behind someone's craziness is always funny when you talk to them at a calm time. Like when we talk to Pat Bev and stuff like that, you just see, like, okay, there's science behind, like, a lot of his antics.

[Gene]

Do you think there's science behind Draymond Green's antics?

[Mike]

A thousand percent. Okay. I think Draymond is, like, smart enough to know we aren't winning a championship. So it's just like, is if for someone that has four championships and Wins all the time. He knows exactly what it takes to get a championship. And when he look at his team and he passing the ball to pods and other players, he know like, this is not a championship squad. So now the winning part is kind of like, eh, okay, it's up there. I like to win, but it's not as important. Now this referee is hoeing me. You know damn well I didn't foul him. Fuck you. Like, I'm about to give you like I'm about to make. Because you know, regardless, to me referees are like, these are guys that didn't hoop and these are guys that don't like being yelled at. Can you say that?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So if a dude.

[Gene]

Some referees might have hooped a little bit, but not a high level maybe.

[Mike]

Do you think it's a real get back to eject somebody after they cussed you out, knowing you really can't cut some out? Like, let's say you're a ref and I'm like, you a, you a ass. You don't know what the you talking about. You stupid as. You missed that call. You missed that call. You missed that call.

[Gene]

I'm throwing you out the game.

[Mike]

You throw me out the game. But it's just like you can't say anything because you going to get in trouble. The only thing you can do is like emphatically throw me out the game. It's like that's not real revenge. So I think like the players be winning.

[Gene]

I would try to say more witty stuff like little shit under my breath.

[Mike]

Like what, what would you say? Like what would you say?

[Gene]

I don't know if he's missing all this broke ass shot. There's just something like very sly and little and just like they, they, they be like what you say? They have to say what you say?

[Mike]

Like, no, I think, I think my thing.

[Gene]

I start flinching at niggas.

[Mike]

No, that's crazy. But that's, but that's like, that's what they want you to do. Mind you, you a ref. So you're probably 5, 6, 180.

[Gene]

Okay. Okay.

[Mike]

And this Draymond Green 6.

[Gene]

Got it, got it, got it.

[Mike]

He want you to flinch at him.

[Gene]

That's what they want.

[Mike]

But I think, I think you on the right track though.

[Gene]

Or like bump them on on purpose.

[Mike]

No, that's still too much.

[Gene]

No, I'm bumping them on purpose. I mean like, but it make it seem like it's an accident.

[Mike]

Okay. You know them slow mo replays, they catch every little wince of like what you do like every little evilness. You got to be a really good actor.

[Gene]

I'll have to.

[Mike]

But no, I like. But I like where you was going though. I think me I would just tell them. I don't give texts to people like you. I only give text when I just don't believe you, bro. I don't believe that you getting this high with me, bro. I'm not giving you a text. And I tell ref no all the rest he good. I don't believe none of that. You know what I mean?

[Gene]

Would that be like I know where you grew up?

[Mike]

Yeah, I know.

[Gene]

I know his dad. We went to school with his dad. He ain't even from here. We used to stuff his dad in a locker.

[Mike]

No. Every time. Come on now. I'm not throwing you out and I'm ignoring you one and then please God, don't commit a violation. I'm about to do the Dante C. Pepper roll on if you travel. I swear to God that tr. Trap, trap, trap, trap.

[Guest 1]

Traveling.

[Gene]

I have a video for. I have a video for. I have a video. It says exposing my son's basketball coach.

[Guest 6]

I'm thinking about exposing my son's seventh grade basketball coach. Coach. Cleveland. Hey, how you doing? Yep, it's me.

[Mike]

She said she thinking about my phone calls.

[Guest 6]

You blocked me. I call you from text now. No answer. I'm gonna expose you. I'm thinking about exposing you. All right? So if you don't return my call, the whole world gonna know. Even your wife, Michelle. Cleveland, that. That's a library related downtown. She f to know too. That damn library ain't quiet no more. All right, so Michelle, I'm gonna give you proof to let you know that I sucked and ate your husband ass.

[Mike]

Wait, wait, I thought she was thinking about it.

[Guest 6]

Cleveland, you promised me that if I sucked and ate your ass, my son will make the basketball team. Now you didn't block me. I'm calling from text now. No response.

[Gene]

Sucked and ho ass to make the basketball team. Freaky ass nigga. That's a crazy request.

[Mike]

Wait, wait, wait. You know how trash your son gotta be? You know how ass your son gotta be for you to eat? Yes. Come on now. Like that's.

[Gene]

You know what I did for you to get on this team?

[Mike]

No, that's crazy. No.

[Gene]

Do you think there's still coaches out there doing that?

[Mike]

Yes, bro. It's evil all around the world. This should never go away. That's why we got to be one of the good ones. There's out here.

[Gene]

It's just a crazy request.

[Mike]

It's a crazy request. You want this game when it's shot. Oh, hell no. No. That's so crazy to say. I'm about to think about it and

[Pat]

then imagine she said not after practice.

[Gene]

It sounds like a Cleveland would do. Cleveland.

[Mike]

Oh, that's. Yeah, that's also crazy. Into Doxel other woman.

[Gene]

Like she's the library lady.

[Mike]

So you mad at her for not easing or eating her husband ass.

[Gene]

She said that's. This is how you know that it. That I'm not lying. So that just might be his thing.

[Mike]

Oh, God.

[Gene]

So his wife is probably doing that too.

[Mike]

No, she probably retired.

[Pat]

She ain't gotta do it no more. She probably.

[Mike]

No, she probably did it like the first 10 years. I just feel like if you.

[Gene]

That's very like a very kind of like a unique thing in a sense. Right?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

So it's like if you already have that at home, the search to find that outside of your house is like. I feel like it's a difficult search.

[Pat]

That would probably be the ultimate backfire is if like if they say they got an open relationship. Yeah.

[Gene]

Oh, that's.

[Pat]

I don't know.

[Mike]

I don't know the rest of it open something.

[Gene]

I think a Cleveland sound old school.

[Mike]

So I don't think I just know that did whatever she say. But what was like her. Why does she mad though?

[Gene]

I guess he the son didn't get no planes.

[Mike]

Probably wasn't good enough.

[Gene]

There's something had to give. He must have been that bad. Where it's like, okay, I got pleasured the way I wanted to get pleasured. But your son is still that bad. Not good enough to like outweigh your son's ass. Ness.

[Mike]

That's what I'm saying. He probably. No, he probably benched him during crunch time. She started wiping her mouth and she said, what the. Why my son not in the game? I had to. Come on, dog. You ain't eat it that good. Yo, yo, what's the wordy birdie brothers?

[Gene]

What up? What up?

[JD]

Good, good, good.

[Gene]

I got a question for you. What's something that's funny? That shouldn't be my answer.

[JD]

Pat.

[Gene]

Pat is funny. But should it be okay?

[JD]

Nah. Well, I'm just. I'm just rage baiting him. But I feel like. I feel like Pat.

[Guest 3]

Pat.

[JD]

You and Pat are very good balance of funny and serious.

[Gene]

Are you think I'm serious? I appreciate that.

[JD]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gene]

You think I'm too serious?

[JD]

No, not too serious. Like Mike is a. Mike is A very good example. You know, a big brother who's going to direct you. Ben, Pat. We just make fun of every single situation.

[Mike]

What's that noise in the background?

[Gene]

Sound like hella plates.

[JD]

No, we're making lunch.

[Mike]

We? Who's we?

[JD]

Me and. Me and My dear friend JD.

[Gene]

Your dear friend.

[Mike]

Can we talk to JD?

[Gene]

Where are you from?

[JD]

Uganda. JD's from Ghana.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Mike]

Like, why y' all okay, but can we talk to him?

[JD]

Oh, no, no. She. It's a she.

[Gene]

Oh, jd.

[Mike]

Oh, jd. Oh, dear friend. It's like, friendly.

[JD]

She know. She's like a mother figure, man.

[Mike]

A mother.

[Pat]

Sound like you got her doing out of work.

[JD]

Oh, oh, well, we work together.

[Mike]

Oh, you at. You at work. Preparing dinner.

[JD]

So this was one break when. When break.

[Mike]

Just together, though.

[JD]

Oh, well, there's a bunch of other people coming. We're making lunch for the house.

[Guest 2]

Okay.

[Gene]

For the house?

[JD]

Yeah. We work at a nursing facility, so, yeah.

[Mike]

Damn, took you forever to release that information.

[Gene]

You live in Uganda.

[JD]

No. Chill with that. But no, no, I don't live in Uganda. I live in Jersey.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Mike]

Wait, would you watch the show?

[JD]

I was at the show. Denim shirt.

[Mike]

Oh, this is dude from the show.

[Guest 2]

From.

[Mike]

From the live show last night.

[Gene]

Oh, last night I.

[Pat]

With the denim shirt?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[JD]

No, it was Old Navy. It was Old Navy, man.

[Mike]

That's Old Navy. No, that. I mean, you was dressed. You dressed how you want to dress, bro. I don't know who would ever make fun of how you dress.

[JD]

The one who's not. Who's not funny.

[Gene]

Are you. Are you in a relationship?

[JD]

No, man.

[Mike]

Oh, he want that old lady jd. That's why he helping her in the kitchen. He's like, I do anything for you. He's trying to do it before the other people that get there that like her, too. Other people at the job like her too, don't they? He tried to get ahead of him. Get to the kitchen first.

[Gene]

All right, bro, you have a good one.

[Mike]

We know you freaky did them, boy.

[JD]

All right, chill.

[Mike]

What's the word? Welcome to crash on these podcast, bro.

[Guest 2]

What's up? What's up?

[Mike]

I got a question for you.

[Guest 2]

What's something that people overhype VIP sections at the club? Explain like, you paying the same price. Like, you listening to the same music, same crowd. You just behind a bum ass like, sign that says vip, and it's bunched up, so I feel like that's man late.

[Gene]

Sound like a outside of VIP section, though.

[Guest 2]

I just think it's overhyped, bro.

[Mike]

Like, you pay Way more money.

[Guest 2]

Bottles is the same.

[Guest 5]

Okay.

[Guest 2]

Like I don't know. I'm not hating.

[Mike]

No, no, I don't think you. It's definitely, it's. Oh, it's only hating if you're talking about like specific times or like a specific thing. The concept was supposed to be for like privacy, but it is definitely turned into like people not dancing and anymore you like to dance at clubs or something?

[Guest 2]

No, I just got a lot of homies out there like that that go to the club and got, and got vi sections. Like I just think you're paying more for no reason.

[Gene]

How long, how many times do you think you've been in VIP section?

[Guest 2]

Yeah, like once.

[Mike]

You only been in one.

[Guest 2]

It's like, it's, it's, it's basically the same thing as just going to the club and like you're just behind a sign.

[Gene]

But I'm just saying you only went one time.

[Mike]

You went what was in the VIP section? How many people? It was all guys in the VIP section.

[Guest 2]

No, no, no, no.

[Mike]

You just said me and my friends and some shorties.

[Guest 2]

I said that.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

And some. Sure. How many? Like you're not giving me the ratio.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, it was, it's five of us including me. So that's six and then five of the shorties. Okay, so one of. One of my friends didn't have one.

[Mike]

So one of your friends didn't have one. So it was, it was, it was five girls and six guys.

[Gene]

Is this like a club that you frequent to like what was it?

[Guest 2]

No, no, I just went like just, just, just to go. Because I don't normally I don't go to the club like that.

[Mike]

But, but so you don't go to the club and then you got an opinion on clubs like this don't make no sense.

[Guest 2]

Can I not get, I can't give my opinion to a place that I went to?

[Mike]

Nah, not especially. Especially not especially not a one time thing.

[Gene]

Yeah, just because I feel like going to, I'm not advocating for going to club or anything, but I just think those, those things that change every weekend. Like, like I've gone to this, I've gone to clubs and like one week I'm like, oh, this was ass. And the next week you go there. It's like you had the time of your life.

[Mike]

Yeah. At the same exact place. I've literally got this. I literally got it. I've literally got a section in the same spot five times in two, over two month span.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And had the time of my life one time. And other times I was like, damn, I don't know if I want to do this again. So it's like you only went once, and then you went to a sausage fest. So it's just like.

[Gene]

I think the things you can say overhyped are like things that are like one time places. Like, I feel like food places are kind of like that sometimes. Especially like the more franchisey places.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gene]

I'm not obviously some. It depends what waiter you get at. Like a mama you go to.

[Mike]

You go to a Popeyes in Pontiac, Michigan, you can't say all Popeyes is bad. You know what I'm saying?

[Gene]

Or as you can say, it's overhyped.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, you're right.

[Mike]

You know what I'm saying?

[Guest 2]

You're right.

[Mike]

Yeah. So the overhead.

[Pat]

People pay too much. And it's like. It's like you could pay less, dog. You went to the section.

[Guest 3]

True.

[Mike]

Did you chip in on the bottle at least?

[Guest 2]

Nah, I don't. I don't really. I don't drink. I was just there.

[Mike]

So you didn't even.

[Gene]

You didn't even pay nothing.

[Mike]

You're not drunk. He ended terrible. He went into.

[Gene]

No wonder you had a terrible time. It was overhyped.

[Mike]

Went into the club with a notebook. I don't really like the essence.

[Gene]

I'm gonna take notes today.

[Mike]

Why are the bottle girls half naked? I just don't get it.

[Gene]

Like, too many stairs.

[Mike]

Why do we have ropes and they don't?

[Gene]

I don't get it.

[Mike]

Like, are we both paying for the section this yo, by the way, the club cop, I caught the last a

[Guest 2]

ticket to the New York to. To the New York show that's on Tuesday.

[Gene]

Oh, fire.

[Mike]

Oh, damn.

[Guest 2]

The reason why I had to make another show for Brooklyn. So shout out to me. Shout out to me.

[Mike]

No, shout out to you. For real, though.

[Gene]

We appreciate it. We'll see you then, bro.

[Mike]

See you soon, Little.

[Guest 2]

Yeah, for sure. Y. Stay safe.

[Gene]

All right. Like, pause in the podcast. The next listener call y' all going to hear is actually from our live show in Boston. Shout out to people that heard that. Get your tickets to the live show. Crash Dummies live dot com. Now here's the clip.

[Guest 5]

Yo, what's up?

[Gene]

What it do?

[Mike]

What's up?

[Guest 5]

Nothing much. How about you guys?

[Mike]

Nothing much with you, huh?

[Guest 5]

First of all, hat you're very cutesy wootsy on Baltimore.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Gene]

What does that mean?

[Mike]

What does that mean?

[JD]

I don't know.

[Guest 5]

He's like. Every time he laughed, he was covering his smile. Like, very cutesy. Is he covering his fall right now?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Guest 7]

No, no.

[Mike]

You're. You're literally banned from the pie, bro. I promise you that. This is your last time on the pot.

[Gene]

I got a question for you. What's your biggest regret?

[Guest 5]

Losing my virginity, bro.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Guest 5]

Biggest regret,

[Gene]

I guess. Explain.

[Guest 5]

Now I remember it happened so quick, and when it happened, I couldn't get it up, so I was like, something wrong with me? Do I have erectile dysfunction?

[Gene]

You're talking, like, God.

[Guest 5]

It got to the point where I had to go to CVS and get, like. Like, answers because I. I was just. I guess I was very nervous.

[Mike]

Wait, you went to CVS to get answers?

[Guest 2]

Like what?

[Guest 5]

The enhancers.

[Gene]

Enhancers.

[Mike]

Oh, okay.

[Guest 5]

Then I started looking up Bluechew.

[Guest 3]

Okay.

[Guest 5]

To see if I can get onto that, but I guess I was just nervous, and I tried it again, and

[Gene]

it worked, but it was like, congrats, bro.

[Guest 5]

It was so boring.

[Gene]

You say it was so boring?

[Mike]

Whoa, hold on.

[Guest 5]

It was boring?

[Mike]

Like, the sex was boring?

[Guest 5]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, how old were you?

[Guest 5]

21.

[Mike]

How old are you now?

[Guest 5]

24.

[Guest 7]

Is this.

[Mike]

Is the sex still boring?

[Guest 5]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Wait, wait. Who are you having? Are we allowed to ask him, like, who he's having sex with?

[Gene]

Yeah, sure.

[Mike]

Like, are you having sex with. Who are you having sex with?

[Guest 5]

A girlfriend, of course.

[Mike]

And it's like, okay, so is your girlfriend.

[Guest 5]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So it's boring, right?

[Guest 5]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like, you don't enjoy it.

[Guest 5]

Like, I guess what I enjoy the most is seeing her enjoy it. But it's like, me, she's like, nah,

[Mike]

you think, like, maybe, like, if you don't like that, like. Okay, I used this earlier, right? If Mike doesn't like ice cream.

[Gene]

But go ahead.

[Mike]

If Mike doesn't like ice cream, that means, like, if he finds it boring, he probably wouldn't eat ice cream anymore. Like, maybe he, like, switched, like, popsicles or something.

[Guest 5]

What are you trying to say?

[Mike]

No, I'm just saying, like, this.

[Pat]

Ice.

[Mike]

Ice cream and popsicles. Nothing else? Just like, maybe you want to try something else.

[Guest 5]

Yeah, maybe, but I try to bring it up, she gets mad.

[Gene]

What's. What's boring about it?

[Guest 5]

It's like.

[JD]

Just goes.

[Guest 5]

Goes in.

[Gene]

Oh, okay. Okay. There's some. There's some people eating right now.

[Guest 5]

Yeah, it's just boring and.

[Gene]

Okay, you brought this up to her, and what'd she say?

[Guest 5]

No, she started yelling at me. Like. Like, she says it's something that she can live without, but, like, obviously that's a lie.

[Mike]

So you don't want. You Actually don't want to have sex?

[Guest 5]

No.

[Mike]

So you'll be okay with not having sex at all?

[Guest 5]

Yeah, Like, I feel nasty.

[Mike]

Listen, what is that?

[Gene]

Isn't that called something like asexual or something?

[Mike]

No, I. It's called something else.

[Gene]

That's.

[Pat]

What.

[Mike]

What's it called? We just not allowed to say it, but you need to, like, do some, like, self evaluation instead of, like, ruining other people's life. You need to figure out, like, what you really want.

[Gene]

Why don't you leave?

[Mike]

Well, I'm happy.

[Guest 5]

I'm happy in this relationship.

[Gene]

Just like the 30 seconds at night. I think that you get a little.

[Mike]

Yeah, I think he just want, like, maybe he wants his girlfriend to be his best friend. He just don't want to lose her. Is that like, that's your best friend, huh?

[Guest 5]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. You know, you could just be friends with her and, like.

[Gene]

And like, the. You can cut the sex out with her.

[Guest 5]

I'm gonna break it up with her right now.

[Gene]

Yeah, go ahead. Do it right now, bro. You want us to do it right now?

[Mike]

Yeah, call her three way. Fuck it. We'll do it with you.

[Gene]

It. We got you, bro. We'll end this shit tonight.

[Guest 1]

Yo, what's poppin, though?

[Gene]

What it do? What it do, man? Y' all think it's gonna ask you the question or what?

[Pat]

Damn.

[Mike]

God damn.

[Pat]

What the.

[Mike]

Why are you talking to us like that?

[Gene]

All right, what's your biggest regret, boy?

[Guest 1]

It's getting my baby mama pregnant, boy.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Guest 1]

That me up.

[Gene]

All right, go ahead. What happened?

[Guest 1]

I ain't gonna lie. I love my son. He amazing. That's my dog. But that. Oh, all right, look, so she got pregnant. All right, Cool beans, boy.

[Gene]

I found out you got her pregnant. Let's. Let's start. Let's start over.

[Mike]

Said cool beans to a pregnancy. Oh, my God. We lost as a community.

[Guest 3]

No, no, no.

[Mike]

Listen, listen, listen.

[Guest 1]

It was cool till I found out she was cheating for two years, though.

[Mike]

Two years?

[Guest 1]

Like, not. She cheated at the beginning of the relationship. Like, I would have been out of there if I knew what.

[Mike]

Like, how did you even find that out, bro?

[Guest 1]

On Jesus Christ. I'm sitting there one day, right, and I open her insta. Like, I go and I log in on her. I ig. I'm sitting there, I'm like, you know, let me scroll back. You know, there's some names here. I scroll. I see a user not found. You know that. That say, like, you know, when a block you or some. Yeah, I tap on that. My heart Thumping this wicked boy. My leg tapping. I feel like a crackhead. You boy, I'm losing it. All I see is you look so sexy. Oh my God. Cuh, I started crying. I'm sitting there, I'm rocking back and forth in this bitch. I'm rocking. I call her. I said, I know you did it. I know you. I'm screaming, boy. I'm screaming. She like, oh my God. No, no, it's not what it looks like. I said, then what is it? What is it? What is it? I'm like, what photo did you send for him to be saying this? I go, I scroll up a little more. She was texting this. I was working 12 hour days at that point in time, bro.

[Mike]

That's a lot of time to bruh. I ain't gonna lie to you.

[Guest 1]

I'm saying I was putting her in. Oh my God.

[Mike]

Exactly. I'm just thinking about the I would do in 12 hours. Like that's like enough time to have sex, leave, get lunch, come back, borrow your shoes.

[Guest 1]

You know that, you know that wrestling move when you pin the and you have their neck bet underneath you? Yeah. Had her in one of Walls of Jericho. Oh, I found out when she was pregnant. I ain't going to lie on Jesus Christ, bro. I. I was tweaking. I was tweaking. I was tweaking my son.

[Guest 4]

Amazing though.

[Gene]

So we good? You're sure it's your son?

[Guest 1]

Oh, yeah. I. I had to, I had to. I had to take one of them test boy.

[Mike]

Oh, that's dope.

[Guest 1]

He looked just like me though. Big as.

[Mike]

No, that's dope.

[Gene]

When did this happen?

[Guest 1]

This happened a couple years ago. He too now.

[Gene]

You still heard over it?

[Guest 1]

No, no, I moved on. I'm engaged. I'm happy.

[Gene]

Congrats.

[Mike]

Yo, so yo, yo, yo, fiance know you talking about this with such passion.

[Guest 1]

Nah, boy, I just remember I was angry. I'm in love with my girl now. Now I ain't going to lie. She do that.

[Guest 5]

I'm doing 50 years.

[Gene]

All right, get this off the.

[Mike]

They got that Nicki Minaj personality.

[Guest 2]

Oh man.

[Mike]

Yo, yo, what's the wordy birdie?

[Guest 7]

What's good, bro?

[Mike]

Welcome to Crash on me's podcast. Sorry, we hitting call to some other callers just in case you ask. So we got to make sure we got more people.

[Gene]

Go ahead, bro.

[Mike]

We just being transparent with you. I got a question for you, bro.

[Guest 7]

What's up?

[Mike]

What's something that people overhype?

[Guest 7]

I think sex.

[Gene]

Okay, okay.

[Guest 7]

All right, so here's my Take on it. Right. First off, a lot of people look out for sex. Like, it's, like it's a. Like it's a need. Like they need to have it. Right. But first off, feel me. Maybe it's just me personally, but, like, don't last that long. Like, it doesn't last that long. Whether it's because of the guy, because of the girl, like, it feels great for a little bit and then after.

[Mike]

But how do you know? How do you know guys don't last that long?

[Guest 7]

No, wait, so I.

[Gene]

We. It could be a very simple answer to this. I'm just. We're not trying to dig or anything.

[Guest 7]

I don't know that guys last that long.

[Mike]

Okay, it kind of debunks the first part of your sentence, but go ahead, go off.

[Gene]

Go ahead.

[Guest 7]

Yeah, but, yeah, no, I just feel like after, I feel like I don't want to be near the girl at all. And she usually just pisses me off, so I feel like it's a bit overrated.

[Gene]

Are you having. Are you having sex with, like, woman that you're, like, in relationship. In a relationship with?

[Guest 7]

Nah.

[Guest 2]

Okay.

[Mike]

I don't like. Okay, so you're saying you don't last that long. You said sex is overrated because you don't last that long and you don't want to be by the woman after the sex is over. Yeah, but why are you trying to generalize it to everybody? Like, this is like, specifically you. Like, why do you. Why don't you want to be with the woman that, like, after you did it, that you want to be cuddled up with or be around or laugh with? Is it like something else going on?

[Guest 7]

I mean, I'd hope not. I don't think so, but I mean, maybe. Maybe it's just a personal thing. I've talked to. I've talked to people, you know, here and there. So I've gotten, you know, around the same opinions and whatnot.

[Gene]

Okay, so now that you're like, you come to the conclusion that sex is overrated or overhyped? Are you, like, not having sex then anymore?

[Guest 7]

No, no, I just had sex last night.

[Gene]

So it's. If it's overrated or over hyped, why are you still doing it?

[Pat]

Or is it overpriced?

[Guest 7]

No. What? No, no, no, no, no. I'm not paying for no sex. I don't know. I. I think that, like, it's. I'm still going to do it, but I think it's a bit overrated.

[Mike]

I think, like, it like you. I Don't. I wouldn't say you scare me, but you making me think something because you, like, keep saying it's overrated, and then you don't be. Want to be, man. Pay the saxophones. This getting crazy, man. Like, yeah, man. I don't know. I don't know if you enjoy sex with women, bro.

[Guest 7]

What? No, I do.

[Mike]

It don't sound like it. I'm not doing.

[Guest 7]

No, I'm not. There's no. There's nobody else to enjoy sex with.

[Mike]

No, but I'm not saying that either. Nobody's throwing that out there. I'm just talking about what you have done, and it sounds like you don't enjoy. Like, if Mike told me he went to go eat ice cream, right? He said, man, the ice cream is too cold and it melts too fast. I don't even know. It's so overrated. I'd be like, damn, bro, you don't like ice cream? Like, maybe you should try a pop signal. I don't know.

[Guest 7]

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Mike]

I don't know, bro. It, like, sounds like you don't like. Like, you sound.

[Gene]

And it's okay if you don't. It's your preference, you know? Like, everybody can't like the same thing. We all can't like the same thing. If everybody ate ice cream, there wouldn't be enough ice cream for everyone.

[Guest 7]

I feel like this is turning into an intervention. That's not. It's not. It's not what I'm trying to go for. No, I'm not with that.

[Mike]

Okay. Nobody's saying you're with anything. We're just saying you don't like the thing that you're talking about, and you're saying sex is overhyped, and you just talked about your experience with a woman and said, hey, it's not going to last long, and I don't want her near me after it. So it just, like. It sounds like you don't enjoy it

[Guest 1]

now.

[Guest 7]

I enjoy it.

[Guest 3]

All right.

[Gene]

Backtracking now.

[Mike]

So is it over hype still?

[Guest 7]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

Okay.

[Guest 7]

I feel like I can. I can enjoy something that's still overhyped. I'm not saying it's terrible. I'm just saying this. I don't think it's as great as everybody portrays it to be.

[Mike]

Okay, buddy. You got it.

[Guest 4]

All right, bro.

[Gene]

You have a good one, man.

[Guest 7]

Listening to y' all for years.

[Mike]

No, we appreciate you, bro.

[Gene]

Appreciate you, bro.

[Mike]

Hey, never said we overhyped, brother.

[Gene]

Because if we were overhyped to him, he would stop listening to Us, right?

[Mike]

No, he would still do it.

[Gene]

You said what?

[Guest 7]

I can still listen if you're overhyped.

[Guest 1]

Okay.

[Mike]

I don't know if I want to be in any scenario. You got.

[Gene]

All right, bro, you have a good one. Yo, can you hear us?

[Guest 3]

Yeah, what's up?

[Gene]

What up? What up?

[Mike]

What's the word? Welcome to Crash on his podcast. Bro, we got a question for you.

[Guest 3]

All right, what's up?

[Gene]

What's something that's funny that shouldn't be.

[Guest 3]

Like, I said, I'm gonna go with gay dudes talking, but like, no, and not. No disrespectful way. I want. I want to say that right now. And I know. Disrespectful way. Just how they go about saying things is funny. Like, all right, for example, right? So you know how some gay dudes be talking about. Oh, man, this.

[Guest 7]

I'm.

[Guest 3]

Pause on this. Pause on this. You know how they be saying, like, oh, like they be getting wet, you know? Hello?

[Gene]

No, I guess. Where do you hear this at?

[Guest 3]

All right, all right, So I went to.

[Guest 7]

I went.

[Guest 3]

All right, all right. So I went to a school, right? Public school, right? And I had this. This gay dude, right? I was friends with him and stuff, right? He was talking about how he's like, wet and right? And I'm like, bro, you're not wet, bro. It's. It's straight, you know, because. Oh, man. Ah, damn. How do I go about saying stuff without really saying people name? Hold up.

[Guest 2]

Oh,

[Mike]

good. We good. We good on this combo, right? I think it ends there. Oh, man. No, this is a good episode. Let's get. Let's get some sponsors out.

[Guest 3]

Yo, how's it going?

[Gene]

Pretty good. Pretty good Yourself?

[Guest 3]

I'm doing pretty good. I'm like, busy, but also at the same time excited and nervous because to be honest, this is something I've been talking about for. For a good minute.

[Gene]

Okay. Really?

[Mike]

It's a crazy goal here.

[Gene]

What's something that people. What's something that people overhype?

[Guest 3]

Personal peace, you know, protecting their peace. I think. I think that's just like. That's like, go ahead and have your cake. Eat it too, whatever. Like, be on your own. But like, you didn't do on your own. So, like, we all got to be stressed to be able to grow. So, like, what's. What's up with people not wanting to stress and like, have their. And be like, nah, I'm good. I got me and my girl and then we straight. Like, I feel like it's over hyped to the max. Like, to be on your own. Even though, like, we kind of need each other more than ever right now,

[Mike]

it's like, that's just me. It's like you got, like. It's. I imagine you right now with 30 affirmations in front of you, and you just reading them all. We need each other right now. People running from the grind. He just say anything?

[Guest 3]

I'm jacked right now.

[Mike]

Yeah, no, you good, bro. I. I kind of get it, but obviously there's, like, a middle ground to everything. There is, like, a such thing as, like, people running from stress, and every time they get in a hard situation and be like, yeah, I'm out of here. And then there's also people that think that life is just supposed to be hard all the time and don't take space for themselves. So it's both ways, bro.

[Gene]

I didn't think it's a good thing to want peace, though, to want to crave, like, the personal speech, the personal peace.

[Guest 3]

I mean that. And I think this goes to show also. I forgot to say hello, esteemed guest. There's esteemed guest. And hello, YouTube. I got very caught up in it. But it's. It's like an audience or what? You don't learn about survival mode, I think, personally.

[Mike]

20 minutes left.

[Guest 2]

What it do, fellas? What's going on?

[Gene]

Not much. Not much. I got a question for you, though.

[Guest 2]

Talk to me.

[Guest 3]

What's going on?

[Guest 2]

All right.

[Gene]

What's something that's funny that shouldn't be.

[Guest 2]

All right, now hear me out. The funniest to me that shouldn't be funny is when you walk in, like, a store or something, and somebody posts their, like, missing dog or missing cat. Because why the. Are you so irresponsible that I should care about it?

[Mike]

That's not right.

[Guest 2]

I'm in Philly. You said that's not right.

[Mike]

Go ahead, bro.

[Guest 2]

Bro, I'm. I'm in Philly. For instance, right? You know how many straight cats there are? Why the. Would I be able to pick your cat out of 50 straight cats walking down this block? I don't care. I do not care.

[Gene]

The one. It might have a collar on it that says, like, Cindy or some.

[Guest 2]

So you think I'm getting that close to a stray cat or dog to look at their collar?

[Mike]

So, okay, let's actually put you in position to actually save a cat or dog. Let's say you. You saw a sign on Wednesday, and it was of, like, a gray cat, and it's like, a very specific gray cat, and you driving around on Friday and you see that said cat on the corner, Are you contacting that number or are you doing anything?

[Guest 2]

First of all, on Friday, I don't even remember what store I was at one to see the poster. So, hell no, I don't give a who cat that is on Friday, I'm off work for the week,

[Mike]

but.

[Gene]

So you don't have no pets?

[Guest 2]

Nah, I don't have no pets. I got a fish, but I feel like I'm not gonna lose my fish.

[Mike]

No, but real, like, if your fish went missing and it was like, a possibility that somebody had it, would you not want somebody to report the fish?

[Guest 2]

Yo, if somebody come in my house and take my fish, bro, that's crazy.

[Gene]

I'll try to think of, like, another situation that would apply, but I don't want to like anybody.

[Pat]

What about some of the posters that have, like, rewards on them?

[Guest 2]

You don't go, oh, see, now we talking.

[Pat]

Hold on.

[Guest 2]

How much is the Reward?

[Mike]

Let's say 100. Who that, Gene?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yes, sir.

[Guest 2]

Yeah. No, that's a hundred dollars. I don't need a hundred dollars.

[Gene]

A thousand

[Mike]

you're capping.

[Guest 2]

It depends. No, no, it depends. Am I busy? Like,

[Gene]

because there's a difference. There's a difference between, like, seeing it and then, okay, I'll report it because it's a thousand dollars, then actually going to look for it yourself. So I'm saying, say they say the reward is like a hundred thousand dollars, and they have. They're having a search party.

[Guest 2]

I'm picking their cat up and I'm going to. No, no, no, no.

[Gene]

I'm just saying we're not talking about. You found the cat. Say they have a search party going on. Are you joining that 6am search party to search for that cat as well?

[Guest 2]

100k on the line.

[Guest 3]

Yeah, yeah.

[Guest 2]

It give me a flashlight and a vest.

[Mike]

He youtubing cat noises and.

[Guest 3]

Yeah.

[Guest 2]

Eliza Thornberry sounds.

[Guest 4]

Oh, man. All right, bro.

[Gene]

You have a good one.

[Guest 2]

All right, y' all, too, fellas.

[Mike]

All right, all right. Tweet of the week.

[Gene]

All right, Tweet a week. Tweet of the week.

[Mike]

This tweet says, I wish I could say doubted me, but everyone believes in me.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And I want to put that in because I'm a victim to it. I'll have a hundred comments to be like, like, damn, that was funny as hell.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

But then to be a comment of like, it'd be a woman, man. Just like, that shit's not funny. It's insensitive. And I'll be hyper focused on that. And I'd be like, you ass. And it's just like, just to think of, like, how many people, because it's. It's hard to get positives out of people. I feel like it's easy to get negatives out of people because people are just looking for. But for somebody to come to you and tell you, hey, you doing a good job. Yeah, it's just like, bro, I feel like not a lot of people had

[Gene]

a. I feel like negatives is never in anybody's like, face, though. Like, anytime somebody, like, there's I. In my personally, I've never had somebody come up to me and be like, oh, bro, you not. This boxing ain't for you. Like, stop boxing. You about to lose this fight, that your next fight or something like that. People might think that, right? Yeah, people might think, oh, this podcast is ass. And like, whatever. But I feel like it's. It's mostly online. You'll see that the hate. You'll never really see the hate in person. I don't think people are brave enough to. To hate in person.

[Mike]

No, to me, I don't know. The negativeness to me comes from, like, people that you. That supported you. And then when you try to do something else, you see it kind of disappear because they judging you or they don't like the thing that you putting out. And it's just like.

[Gene]

But should you support everything you're your friends do?

[Mike]

It depends on what type of friend it is. Like, if you, if you were to become a chef and I like, I taste your food, I'm like, damn, this is trash.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

I'm still going to support you as a chef because it's like, we friends, like, yeah, that's for them to judge. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm not your target audience. That's the.

[Gene]

That's the easiest way to get out of anything is I'm not your target audience. It might not just be for me.

[Mike]

Okay? This is a real, real tweet of the week. This is why Twitter is not a real space. Like Mike says a thousand times every day, this shit is not real. LeBron James. Is LeBron James a thousandaire?

[Gene]

No.

[Mike]

Is LeBron James a millionaire?

[JD]

I know.

[Mike]

Is LeBron James a billionaire?

[Gene]

Yes.

[Mike]

Oh, shit. Okay. LeBron James tweeted because a game lost service during a crucial moment. LeBron James tweeted, Tell me that game didn't just cut off. Am I tripping? What the hell? Somebody then responded, broke ass.

[Guest 3]

My.

[Mike]

Is Running smooth.

[Gene]

I. I honestly, I'm not mad at it. What opportunity would you have a chance to call a billionaire broke, especially just one and up Getting a one up.

[Guest 7]

No.

[Mike]

That is hilarious, bro. They called him a broke ass. Somebody said, I don't do two mens. I'm going to see both of these by myself.

[Gene]

That's rage. Sometimes. That might work, though. I've been. That might be more effective.

[Mike]

No, definitely more.

[Gene]

Because you can tell the person really likes you there if that happens too. Especially they invite you. And there's two girls.

[Mike]

Yeah. Okay, this. Okay, this is the. One of the funniest tweet of the weeks I had. All right, last one. It says my son will definitely not be a junior. That's the highest level of dick riding a dude. It is, though. I'm mad as hell in my dad now. Like, yo, what the what?

[Gene]

It's always tough. Like, I would. I would not name my kid Michael just because it's very. Mike is a very basic name. Just like, there's enough Michaels in the world.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Gene]

I feel like if you have a basic name, it's like, all right, bro, you can give it up now.

[Mike]

Come on now. You see me, There would never be another. I would never do that to another kid. And they like, why the would I name somebody Patrick? But this is so stupid. Like, you know how many times. You know how many Patrick's I met? Like, the. Not even special no more.

[Gene]

Yeah, it is.

[Mike]

Like, yeah, like, we both Patrick. You know what I'm saying Now, like, your name. If you met somebody with your exact name, like, y' all probably, damn, I got the same daddy, you know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, like, something happened. Like, y' all mamas know each other, and it was beefing. At least you guys. There's only room for one of us. Okay, last topic. Okay, let me know how you deal with bad days. Right? Are you more about ending a bad day by wrapping it up with, like, positives to end the day? So you just had a shitty day. You're gonna spend your last two hours doing something you want to do? Or do you end bad days by just cutting off that day and just be like, I'm done for the day.

[Gene]

I. I cut off the day.

[Mike]

You cut off the day?

[Guest 3]

Yeah.

[Guest 1]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You don't keep trying.

[Gene]

No, I don't. I lit. I legit will cut off my day. I just go to, like, my. Cutting off my day would be like, laying down in my bed, headphones on, and watching some random things on YouTube

[Mike]

that's cutting it off.

[Gene]

That's cutting. That's kind of.

[Mike]

You're not trying to go out like, oh, let me try to go out to the club after having.

[Gene]

No, no, because you don't.

[Pat]

It's not gonna go smooth.

[Mike]

I'm like, I'm all about, like, if I'm having a bad day, like, why end it there? You get what I'm saying? Like, let's see how bad this can get. Because I, like, resets. Like, I can reset through sleep. Like, when I wake up, I got a new mentality. I know what not to do. But, like, if I had a bad day, I'm going to the club and I'm shoulder bumping. Like, let's do this.

[Gene]

Not real crash house.

[Mike]

Like, bro, I'm sick of this, though.

[Gene]

I feel like for me to, like, actually think that it can get worse, I would really have to hit, like, it had to be something really bad that happened.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

To a point where I say, it can't get any worse than this.

[Mike]

Never say that, bro. It's going to be a meteor that strike your house.

[Guest 1]

Okay.

[Gene]

Oh, man. Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed the podcast. A little Running Gun type of session here we had. We're gonna be back in studio probably not next week. We do got a special guest coming up. We're supposed to have another guest. We're supposed to have, like two guests for this pod.

[Mike]

We got a lot of guests coming up.

[Gene]

We're supposed to have two guests for this one. You watching? But happens, you know, had a little cancellation, but, you know, we. We pushed through. Appreciate y' all supporting us. The live shows have been amazing. It's been great meeting you all, and I just want the support to continue. Patreon is still half off this month. Merch is available maybe only at live shows right now, but it's going to be restocked for the. The crash route ones. And any other things we got to announce.

[Mike]

No, we chilling, bros, and keep popping out at the live shows. Remember, low ticket sales all over. Either they low ticket sales so where they about to sell out or they low ticket sales or where we not gonna come to that venue. So it's low ticket sales.

[Gene]

No, but get your tickets for sure. Crashdomeslive.com yeah, see y' all next week. Peace.