Is She Guilty? - Episode 252

Summary

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Crash Dummies Podcast: "Is She Guilty?" – Episode 252

Release Date: April 1, 2026
Hosts: Pat Johnson & Mike Esiobu
Special Guest: Carrie
Theme: Current events, wild scenarios, and listener relationship "Crash Court" Q&A

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Overview

In this packed, freewheeling episode, Pat and Mike bring their signature blend of unfiltered humor and sharp social commentary, joined by recurring guest Carrie. They begin by riffing on Tiger Woods memes before diving into a wide array of current events, viral moments, concert tour updates, and listener call-ins for "Crash Court"—where relationships woes, financial dilemmas, and plenty of confessions are put on trial. The episode explores double standards in comedy, social behaviors at live events, social media overinterpretations, dynamics of "pause" culture, and relationship transparency, all with hilarious, often chaotic, group chemistry.

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Key Topics & Segments

Tiger Woods Jokes & Intros (00:00–01:30)

• Pat opens with a Tiger Woods-themed set of dad tweets, poking fun at Woods' car crash infamy.
• Jokes center around Tiger’s resilience and controversial arrest incidents.

Pat (00:21): "A lion would never drive under the influence, but a tiger would."
Pat (00:45): "Black half of Tiger was tased by cops after Asian half crashes car."

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Tour Announcements & Live Show Recaps (02:10–06:01)

• Mike delivers Patreon and tour updates:

  • New venues in New York (Brooklyn Improv, April 22)
  • Added dates in Raleigh and Toronto
  • Shout-outs to cities like Chicago (sold out), Nashville, Cleveland, and Birmingham.

• Chicago Live Show Drama:

  • Couple broke up en route, awkwardly sat with a person between them (06:01–08:38).
  • Live crowd joins in, opener Hassan cracks the ice, karaoke leads to (temporary) reconciliation.

Pat (07:38): "I knew they was going to get back together when she said she still made... because she was there."

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Viral Moments & Comedy 'Double Standards' (03:33–05:00)

• Discussion of viral Juski “whiteface” skit.
• The hosts debate why audiences react differently to “whiteface” versus blackface, challenging those offended to “just do it.”
• Touches on audience selective outrage and “White Chicks” as a cultural example.

Pat (04:35): “I just don't like the selective outrage... when they was like cosplaying as rich white girls, but now it's not okay.”

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Social Commentary on Sports Events (09:05–10:53)

• Mike and Pat riff on crowd hysteria for t-shirts at games, paralleling Mardi Gras beads with fans’ over-the-top (and sometimes greedy) participation.
• Reflect on the arbitrariness of value—how grown men push kids for free shirts.

Pat (10:22): "I did all this screaming for a T-shirt... only for me, a 220 pound man, to open it up and it's a medium shirt."

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"Pause" Culture & Double Entendres (11:10–15:24)

• Origins and modern use of “pause” in conversation.
• They reflect on a viral idea about what the world would be like if “pause” didn’t exist.
• Noted for both comedy and for its social media context, with a nod to Jeff Teague's infamous “play in my ass” comment.

Pat (14:54): "He said, 'play in my ass.' That was so unique... first person to accidentally say it."

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Social Media Song Choices & Overthinking (18:01–22:16)

• The hosts explore anxieties of choosing Instagram story songs:
  • Pressure not to over-relate to lyrics.
  • Dilemma for men posting “women’s music.”
  • Carrie, Pat, and Mike all admit to overthinking song choices.
• Broader points about authenticity and second-guessing one’s social media image.

Pat (19:34): "I also don't think the song gets you any more likes... unless you post a picture of the sunset."

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Modern Relationship Realness (23:50–25:00; 32:35–39:15)

• Fake flexes: Taking pictures with other people’s luxury cars; gendered double standards for “flexing.”
• Discussion about “profile pic culture”—callers debate putting a new girlfriend as their social pic after just a month (including a long-distance relationship after a single visit).
• Pat and Mike banter about whether this is “simping” or just different styles of commitment.

Pat (34:58): "Only make your girlfriend your profile picture if you’re ready for it never to go back."

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Listener Crash Court: Relationship & Life Dilemmas

1. Bank Robbery Best Friend (27:11–31:56)

• Caller says her best friend is allegedly in jail for bank robbery—"set it off" style.
• Upset not just re: crime, but because “who am I supposed to go outside with?”

2. Financial Infidelity – $21,000 Camera Debt! (63:09–71:06)

• Caller "in love" after 7 months pays $21K for her new boyfriend’s camera equipment.
• He's only paid back $300. She asks if she's wrong for wanting to sue.

Pat (64:00): "What’d you buy, a car?... $21,000 on your credit card?!" Mike (65:02): "No, you can definitely sue him."

3. Bowling Alley Baby Daddy Drama (40:46–47:22) (feat. both parents)

• First, a woman laments her baby daddy left her (after she got him a job) for a coworker.
• Then, baby daddy calls in to share his side, revealing open relationships, trust issues, and past marital experiences with a porn star.

Pat (43:35): "He used to smell bad... then he started putting on cologne. So I guess he wants to smell good, but he could stink for me."

4. 9,000 Soft Pics: Is She Guilty? (57:03–62:53)

• A woman admits to secretly taking 9,000+ "soft" pics of her husband for personal enjoyment and, sometimes, spite.
• Debates privacy, blackmail potential, and marital trust.

Caller (59:03): "When he's pissing me off, I look at those pictures." Pat (61:04): "I still think it's black... God forbid something happens, those pictures..."

5. Work-Life Balance at 19 (Truck Driver) (72:32–76:41)

• Young caller asks if he’s “wrong” for working overtime (and not seeing his girlfriend enough).
• Pat & Mike advise: focus on your grind, communicate with your partner, and maintain perspective at a young age.

Pat (74:00): "Having a relationship that young, the percentages of getting married are very, very low. But you working on your life... are very, very high."

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Extended Riffs, Memes & Notable Quotes

On "Pause" and Masculinity

Mike (12:43): "Pause works with anybody... usually [about] something sexual... it's immature, yes, but it's comedy."

On Overthinking Instagram Songs

Pat (20:11): "I love Summer Walker, I love SZA... it's just, damn, I can't even put it on Instagram... people not gonna understand why I got Broken Clocks..."

On Gift-Giving and Low Standards in Dating

Pat (87:08): "You do flowers and pickup, she might cry in the car... the bar is low out in this..."

On Cheating, Competition & Relationship Baggage

Pat (95:01): "Some women are attracted to something that somebody wants... it's like a competition." Carrie (95:15): "It definitely takes the work out of it all, ‘cause it's like, oh, he set already!"

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Timestamps by Segment

| Segment | Timestamps | |---------------------------------------------|---------------------------| | Tiger Woods Riffs & Opening | 00:00–01:30 | | Tour Announcements & City Shout Outs | 02:10–05:00 | | Live Show Breakup Recap | 06:01–08:38 | | Viral Comedy & Selective Outrage | 03:33–05:00 | | Game Day “T-shirt Scramble” Conversation | 09:05–10:53 | | “Pause” Culture & Double Entendre | 11:10–15:24 | | Song Choices & Social Media Overthinking | 18:01–22:16 | | Relationship Q&As (Crash Court) | 27:11–71:06+ (multiple) | | Gift-Giving, Dating Standards | 83:05–87:08 | | Competition/Attraction in Relationships | 94:47–96:57 |

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Notable Quotes

• “Bro, you keep doing you.” (Pat, 73:59 — advice to young truck driver)
• “He used you. He used and abused you. I hate to see it happen—especially during International Women's Month.” (Pat, 69:41 — re: $21k camera saga)
• “If your girl hasn’t told you you have the biggest dick, you’re not even top three.” (Pat, 82:14)
• “Pause is for, I didn’t mean to say how I sounded. It’s a double entendre of what I just said.” (Pat, 13:01)
• "Flowers and pickup... she might cry in the car. She might text a group chat, ‘I found my husband.’” (Pat, 87:18)

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Tone & Style

The tone is irreverent, joking, and highly conversational. Pat and Mike intentionally push the envelope while remaining self-aware and frequently redirecting when topics get too wild or personal. They invite listeners to laugh at both their own foibles and society’s.

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Memorable & Viral Moments

• The “9,000 soft pics” wife, which spirals into debates over privacy/blackmail (57:03–62:53).
• The woman out $21,000 for her photographer boyfriend, followed by her further $1,000 and $369 contributions for his rent and car, making hosts question her decision-making (63:09–71:13).
• Surprise two-sided bowling alley breakup/double call-in, complete with a messy back-and-forth and open relationship commentary (40:46–56:59).
• Close: hosts joke about “pegging” being the last taboo kink, noting the lack of vocal representation versus other sexual preferences (78:40–79:47).

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Closing

The episode encapsulates the chaos, humor, and realness that keeps Crash Dummies fans tuning in. Blending touring hype, classic meme-able moments, and wild listener stories, the hosts thrive on unpredictable calls, controversial advice, and the group’s unmatched chemistry.

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Relevant Links:

• Tour & Merch: CrashDummiesLive.com | CrashDummiesMerch.com
• Guest Carrie: [Brain Squeeze Podcast] (daily, links in description)

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For More:
Listen for shoutouts, candid debates, and real-talk relationships advice, with receipts. Skip the ads, stay for the stories—and don’t forget to pause.

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Transcript

[Pat]

All right, this. This intro is dedicated to Tiger Woods. I'm literally bringing two tweets of the week back to the beginning of the pot for the goat, Tiger Woods. The first one is a dad joke about Tiger woods says a lion would never drive under the influence, but a tiger would.

[Carrie]

Oh, man,

[Pat]

I just don't get how you keep rolling over his vehicle. Like.

[Mike]

No, he's like the unscathed.

[Pat]

Yeah, no, he'd be breaking this.

[Mike]

Yeah, no, he'd be. That's why he can't go. That's why he. He got these injuries now.

[Pat]

I bet he literally doesn't have an injury from golf. It's all from Pill Ryan.

[Mike]

No, that is crazy, bro.

[Pat]

No, okay, the second one, it says, black half of tiger was tased by cops after Asian half crashes car.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh, Hol.

[Pat]

Okay, I'm done. Another intro.

[Mike]

Hello, the radio is for people who are driving. Welcome to Crash podcast. Anyway, welcome to Crash Dummies podcast, episode 252.

[Pat]

Yep.

[Mike]

I'm Mike. We got Pat here, We got Carrie here again.

[Carrie]

Hello, everyone. Listen, it's not even Women's History month anymore, so y' all just like me.

[Pat]

Hey.

[Mike]

Oh, it's still. It's still. It's still international technically right now, but

[Pat]

by the time they get.

[Mike]

No, no, I'm just saying. But it's. We. It's century.

[Carrie]

Oh. Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

Forever.

[Carrie]

It's forever.

[Pat]

Forever. You willing to do what I'm willing to do?

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

Well, ladies, I'm still the only that's going to off. They sell for you.

[Mike]

I apologize, ladies. I. I love my life more than yours.

[Pat]

No, I don't. Look, matter of fact, no, I would

[Mike]

not love my life more than anybody else's.

[Carrie]

Because you're a man.

[Pat]

Because you're a woman hater. Exactly.

[Caller 1]

Oh, my God.

[Mike]

No, I love women.

[Pat]

But get to the announcements for April.

[Mike]

We're going to do half off of Patreon first month for new people only.

[Pat]

So now you just make somebody get hard and then

[Mike]

we're still on tour. We just did Chicago Shout out to y', all Crash Dummies live dot com. We have Nashville coming up or Atlanta coming up and then Nashville. Also, New York is sold out, but we are contemplating adding a second day. If we add a second day, and if people still complain about tickets selling out, get your tickets right away. Every. That's for all the cities.

[Caller 1]

All right.

[Mike]

Actually, we just got another venue for the New York show, so. Brooklyn Improv on April 22nd. Link should be in the bio if it's not there. There's going to be a form that put your email in there so you can get it. But the link should be live this week for sure. If it's not live by now, Raleigh, Toronto, those are like the new dates we added. So just want to emphasize those so people don't that were coming there as well.

[Pat]

Toronto be knowing though.

[Mike]

I get.

[Pat]

I've been getting a lot of messages about Toronto.

[Mike]

So Cleveland, pick it up.

[Pat]

Come on now. Y' all see. No, no offense to Birmingham, but Birmingham not seeing us for a reason. You know what I mean? Shout out to my seven people out there though.

[Mike]

Yeah, I love you. Did you see the Juski skit?

[Pat]

Oh yeah, that's a good start. That's a good start.

[Mike]

Yeah, the juicy skit when he, I guess he white faced or what's it called? Is it called white face?

[Pat]

I don't know if we can. White face.

[Carrie]

I don't call it white face.

[Mike]

What you. What would you call it?

[Pat]

I call it good acting.

[Carrie]

I call it white. White chicken. It.

[Mike]

Okay, okay, but then that's what I'm saying.

[Pat]

Selective outrage. Yeah, but I'll let you explain it.

[Mike]

But I was going to say there's a lot of like pundits on the Internet saying if it was a black come a white comedian that did that about somebody black, y' all would like. Right? And our response to that is always just do it.

[Pat]

Just do it.

[Mike]

Like, like do it and see what happens.

[Pat]

Yeah, make it funny. Like, like who can you act like

[Carrie]

with or without the black face?

[Mike]

They can do whatever they want. I'm just saying just do it and you can find out what people would do if. If a white comedian or a white person did blackface. Yeah, it's like, it's like they're, they're afraid to do it. If you really want to do it, then do it.

[Carrie]

And then, and now is the time to do it with the white.

[Mike]

Go ahead, damn near get away with.

[Pat]

Just become an agent and you good. No, for real. I just don't like the selective outrage because he's like always that if you ask even I'd say conservative white people was like one of their favorite movies. A lot of them say white chicks.

[Caller 1]

You know what I'm saying?

[Pat]

They like white chicks. And it was okay when they was like cosplaying as like rich white girls, but now it's not okay that he cosplaying as Erica Kirk. And he didn't even say it was Erica Kirk.

[Mike]

Y' all did. Yeah, I mean like it's one of those, like, if the shoe fits type of situation.

[Pat]

Yeah, man. She shouldn't have did all that celebrating.

[Carrie]

No, that was mad crazy. I bought them fireworks.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I ain't never seen nobody bust down and get their eagle on after their husband died. That's just different. She cut different.

[Carrie]

Yeah, look, did you see he added a picture up of his. What was like. They saying it's his grandpa. I don't think it's his grandpa. Be like a relative or something. They're like, well, he's half white, so he can do it.

[Mike]

I think Juicy got some, like, white in him.

[Pat]

Yeah, he's from a white. A predominantly white town.

[Mike]

So Gwinnett.

[Pat]

Yeah. Somewhere in Georgia or something like that. Like, so. So it. It makes sense. But I don't take anything. Juicy put on the Internet series. I literally seen him post on Father's Day one time. He posted a picture of him and his dad and the music playing behind it was, you're calling me daddy, Daddy. That is crazy.

[Mike]

Oh, you were talking about this when we were at the Bucks game the

[Pat]

other day before that.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Live show.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

Let's get that out of the way. Shout out to Chicago. Sold out. Show sold out. I think it was like, 320 people in there. Some. Some of y' all got in free. Now we don't find out who it is and we gonna beat the up. But no, I'm just playing shout out to everybody that came there. Shout out to Hassan for opening for us. Rocking with the crowd. Shout out to Amar, but it was rocking. And for those of you who won't see it, maybe we'll put a clip out later. There was actually a couple there that had broke up on the way to the venue.

[Mike]

Yes. I think Hassan kind of, like, made that the assumption or kind of got that out them the first time.

[Pat]

I think she was looking sad in the front row. She had her, like, hand over, like, the woe is me type shit.

[Mike]

So then we kind of. When we got on stage, that's why we love. Like, having opener is like, the greatest thing because we get. Understand the crowd a little bit better.

[Pat]

He ain't open me up. He opened up.

[Mike]

You just started to say, thanks for Hasan for opening for us.

[Pat]

No, no, no. But I say us because me and you a team by the specified open mic, whatever.

[Mike]

But we didn't know that she was sitting two seats away from the person that broke up with the day before. And it got. He was a good sport, first of all.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

He was a good Sport.

[Pat]

He was bald with glasses. He has no choice but to be.

[Mike]

He actually DM'd us and said they got back together. Yeah, we already knew. Like, if they're being that petty, that's like the type of petties, like, you can laugh about it later type of petty.

[Carrie]

Especially if she showed up still after they.

[Mike]

Yeah. And they're sitting. Like, there was a person in between, though, and she was that person in between. And started feeling so uncomfortable.

[Pat]

I knew. I knew they was going to get back together. When she said that she still made. Because she had to take. Basically, the big argument was it was raining that day and she had to get to the venue and he was still at work, and he made her take a bus there. And then he also didn't like her attitude about having to take a bus.

[Mike]

And she was anemic.

[Pat]

And she anemic. Don't forget that. And I knew they was getting back together because she was there.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, how the fuck she gonna get home? You know what I'm saying? So I know she was gonna make it good before they left. At least before they left.

[Mike]

And we did. We did a karaoke for 100. Yeah. And one person was singing. What song was they singing?

[Pat]

Oh, for God.

[Mike]

Oh, it's a classic, too.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, it was. It was like a love song. And then he actually starts Confessions.

[Mike]

Confessions.

[Pat]

Yeah, My confession. I don't know how he serenaded to that song, but. But he started singing to her, the girl that got broke up with. And the crowd was going crazy. You had to be there.

[Mike]

That was a vibe.

[Pat]

No, for real.

[Carrie]

That's when I knew they were gonna get back together because he got jealous.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Oh, he didn't show up with.

[Pat]

He shook up with the person, so he.

[Carrie]

Oh, he was cool with it.

[Pat]

Remember the word you learned last week? What was it?

[Carrie]

Cluck.

[Pat]

Cuck.

[Carrie]

Cuck.

[Pat]

Yeah. He looked like a cluck. Shout out to that bald head ass. Just bald and bogus.

[Mike]

But we were at the Bucks game the other day, and you know the part you. You're in. Game host. So you know about this when people are throwing T shirts and. And into the crowd.

[Carrie]

Yes.

[Mike]

And the people throwing the T shirts make people scream to receive those T shirts. It's kind of like a weird, like, power that they have.

[Carrie]

Oh, yes. It's kind of like, you know when you are at Mardi Gras and you got the beads, all the people.

[Mike]

You want to know.

[Pat]

Bees, throw the beads out.

[Carrie]

But you got something crazy to get.

[Mike]

That's so crazy.

[Pat]

If I Had a lot of bees. I'm telling you, got to work for these. And I don't even want to see. Like, hey, don't even got to show you. Do something else.

[Mike]

Isn't that crazy? Like, we apply like arbitrary, like, value to things. Like, yes, if anybody was handing bees out in the middle street right now, even anywhere, we'd be like, yeah, bro, I don't want to take these bees. Yeah, but two tequila, two margaritas and, and some titties.

[Pat]

Threw the titties on as an accessory.

[Mike]

Like, what the.

[Caller 1]

I just.

[Pat]

The thing I don't like about the T shirt is like, okay, I just did all this screaming for a T shirt. I done reached over a little kid, broke his dreams. I didn't elbow the elderly woman next to me. Broke her dreams, got her dentures loose. And then I also stopped the person behind me for getting a T shirt. Only for me, a 220 pound man to open a bitch up. And it's a medium shirt. Like, what the fuck are we doing? Like, why would you throw this shit to me? You see a big dog over in this bitch?

[Mike]

As a man, you shouldn't be screaming at the game.

[Pat]

No, you shouldn't. I just real shit, I would, I

[Mike]

personally wouldn't do it. But if you want to, bro, there's

[Pat]

too many kids there to be grabbing T shirts. Like, how many times I've seen like these grown men at these games jumping over these kids grabbing a baseball especially

[Mike]

for free T shirts. You can like, you can buy those T shirts, bro.

[Carrie]

Like, if it's like, it's a Gruber T shirt.

[Pat]

Like, come on now.

[Mike]

If it's like a baseball games, I understand, like, I understand the hustle. Every dog eat dog world. There's no age in that.

[Pat]

Like, no, that's not doggy.

[Mike]

No, to me it is.

[Pat]

It's about the kids.

[Mike]

It's baseball. It's more where it's like a. Oh, I got this person's home run ball. Like, if it's like Aaron Judge when he broke the record, right?

[Pat]

Throwing that back pause.

[Mike]

Crazy.

[Caller 1]

Crazy.

[Pat]

Hey, Harar, zoom in on me. I'm guilty. Is it really? But the thing about it, oh, we were talking. So me and Mike actually got our. Probably the first time. It's like really happened. Like an idea that we were actually about to do. Somebody got to it first and went viral because we were talking to him one day. We were just like, I said something super pause worthy and like me and Mike stared at each other and Mike looked at me, was like, bro, it's okay. It's just us. You know what I mean? Like, you who gonna say pause? Just us and me and him was just like, damn, that'd be. That'd be a funny ass skit. If it's just like, what if. It's like, what if you didn't get paused? Like, what's the world like? It was paused and literally, like, I think like, three days later, I forgot his name. I wish I gave him a shout out. Yeah, it was. It was a dope ass skit where dude was like, talking about, like, what if nobody pauses you? You know what I mean? Like, what if, like, somebody took that out? Like, you can talk freely and it just to show you, bro, if you got an idea, bro, jump on it.

[Mike]

Yeah, what, bro?

[Carrie]

I really want to know who invented that, though. The pause.

[Mike]

It happens.

[Carrie]

Is it a thing that men are like?

[Mike]

No, I think it's a. I think it's like a evolution of. That's what she said.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Mike]

You know, it's like, it's one of those things because I think pause works with anybody. Like, if my girl says something pause worthy, it's like. It's like pause, but it's more in a funny way. It's just a way of putting things. I'm like, Mr. Guilt. I'm guilty of, like, doing that. Especially because I pause in between some of my words.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And I'll end on, like, something like jumping on. And then I'll say what I'm actually supposed to be jumping on.

[Pat]

But no, I think.

[Mike]

But it's all. It's all good fun. I don't think we do this in, like, our really everyday conversations.

[Carrie]

Some dudes be out here.

[Mike]

No, some dudes over Paul. I love Cam and Mace, but sometimes I think they over pause sometimes.

[Pat]

Especially to have a sports show. Yeah, the was inside him. No, but the other thing is, I remember. Remember when we first started off, it was like episode 20, and it was this dude. I never forget what he looked like. He had glasses and a kango hat on. The dumbest looking I've ever seen. But he used to be at our cat because he used to be like, man, y' all using pause. That's so homophobic. That's so homophobic. And you know, some people kind of think that, like, oh, you saying pause because that's homophobic. Just be yourself. And it's like, no, pause is for. I didn't mean to say how I sounded. Yeah, you know what I mean? Just like, I'm trying to explain something else. And you could interpret it something else. And I think it's just like the comedy of it. Like, damn, it's a double entendre of what I just said.

[Mike]

And usually the. The part is something sexual.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

In a sense, you say something, it sounds somewhat sexual.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It's immature. Yes. But it's also has this one. There are some things shout to Jeff Teague, but he had an insane pause moment. What do you say?

[Pat]

He said. So he was talking about the Atlanta Hawks. Right. And obviously he's a Hawks advocate because he's a Hawks legend. And he was talking about, I think before the trade that they made to trade Trey Young, they were like kind of a play in team. And they. I think they've been doing really great lately. They like one of the best records in the league since the trade. And he was trying to say, you know when somebody be like, your car slow, right. And then you beat him in the race, he'd be like, slow my ass.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Right. So he was trying to say that. He was just like, oh, y' all said they a playing team. Yeah, playing my ass.

[Mike]

It was a unique one. He said, play in my ass. That was so unique.

[Pat]

No, it was like. Actually, I don't think those words have ever been put together without it actually mean meaning play in my ass.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Pat]

He's the first person to accidentally say

[Carrie]

accidentally.

[Caller 2]

For sure.

[Pat]

Yeah. Accidentally so in real life. No, that's great.

[Mike]

That was. That's pause of the year, that one. That deserved it.

[Pat]

I think this is a perfect time to say something that's. That I think is going to get cut off the podcast anyways. So I'm gonna go to one of my tweet of the weeks. I'm spreading them out today. Spreading it all over the podcast. Watch out now. All right. This might get taken out. Pre Indian owned Subway was special.

[Caller 1]

Oh, no.

[Mike]

I think I like the Indian owned.

[Pat]

You do?

[Mike]

Yeah. I've always known them as the Indian owned.

[Pat]

Really?

[Mike]

Yes. Especially the ones in Chicago.

[Pat]

Well, I think they talking about. So just take the Indian part out of it, because that's a little racist.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

But I think what they really meant is, like, before, because Subway became so popular that people started making their own Subways.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And I think Subway doesn't have like. Like the rules in place. Like a Chick Fil A, right?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Chick Fil A kind of has like, rules in place.

[Mike]

Like if you like a sop. Like a standard operational.

[Pat]

Yes. Like if you own a Chick Fil A, it's gonna look like all the Other Chick Fil A?

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

As a matter of fact, they actually make it a rule you can't own another business while owning a Chick Fil A. Like, that's how deep they into it. But subways, you see all different type of subways. And I think like that becomes a problem.

[Mike]

The ones in the gas station and Walmart said the worst to me. They stingy as I haven't been to a subway in like 10 years, probably more. But the ones in the gas station and the Walmart, terrible. I think they deal with too many different type of people and they just never be in a good mood. They're just always out of shit. Like the ones, the ones that be like, actually have like a storefront. It's like, okay, you got your regulars there. You can sit down in there. You feel comfortable in there. Yeah.

[Pat]

And I also, I'm not sure the sandwiches taste different because I'm not sure if like everybody has to use the same vegetables, you know? Like, where. Where are you getting your vegetables from?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know what I'm saying?

[Carrie]

Not the same dealer.

[Pat]

Yeah. And how to. You out of lettuce? And we in Walmart. That's my favorite tweet all the time. You mean you out of lettuce. Go get it. Okay. Another tweet a week just in case I gotta catch it. I went out. This person says, a woman says, my horny ass could not work at Little Caesars

[Carrie]

because they're hot and ready.

[Caller 1]

I don't.

[Mike]

I get it from the like the, the play on word standpoint.

[Pat]

Nah, I just think, I just think that's just a funny tweet. I think you could put that anywhere. Like, my horny ass cannot work at Culver's. Like, what the does that mean? Are you okay?

[Mike]

Oh, man. Oh, I was thinking about this. There's a process of adding music to your Instagram now.

[Carrie]

So stressful.

[Mike]

Where there's certain songs you don't want to add because you don't want people to feel like you really relate to the lyrics because they're becoming. They can be some tough ass song. And then it's like it'll start talking about hoes. I get hoes and Right. And it's like, okay, I'm not. I just like the way it sounds.

[Pat]

No real. I One time I posted on. On November 18th. Drake has a song called November 18th. And in the song, Drake says at the end, and pussy is only pussy and I get it when I need it. And he says something like that. And I literally had a woman Message me and say you're weird. It's literally November 18th. I'm posting the song November 18th. They're just like, who. Who's thinking about you right now?

[Mike]

I think. But there are some. There are some men and women that put a little more, like, you know how, like, when someone's going through something in their life and, yeah, they start posting the little quotes on their stories. I hate that people do that with music, too. I ha. When people don't give you the full story. Don't. Don't give me, like, the sad quotes. And you bring me into this world about something that happened, and then you don't finish the story.

[Carrie]

Yeah. Like, they just want some sympathy. I think I probably overthink every single time I have to put a song up or, like, a story or something. I might be the only one. Do y' all overthink it?

[Mike]

I'm not overthinking. I've started to repeat songs, though. Like, stuff I posted, like, two years. I'm like, why can't I use it? I like this song still.

[Pat]

Yeah. I also don't think the song gets you any more likes or. Or any of your attention unless you post a picture of the sunset or a background or if you had a carnival.

[Mike]

A good song goes with a good aesthetic. Pictures.

[Pat]

Now, it matters because, like, why am I listening to Justin Bieber? Yummy, yummy. And during the sunset. I'm not liking this sunset.

[Mike]

But there are some songs that can hear you throw it off.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. Ass, ass, ass. A picture of a horse. Oh, it's a donkey. I got it. A double entendre. No, but what were you just talking about, though? The songs. Oh, yeah, yeah. Back to the songs. Yeah. I think my problem is, you know, Childish Gambino talked about this before, is I like a lot of songs that are made by women, but I love Summer Walker, I love sza. And it's just like, damn, this is some of the music. I like Mariah the Scientist. Now there's some music that I listen to, and it sucks. Like, okay, I'm listening to this music every day, and I can't even, like, put it on my Instagram, like, because people are not gonna understand, like, why I got broken clocks on my. You know what I mean, man?

[Mike]

I like to show my music tape. Like, I. I posted a Margaret Maggie Rogers theme song called August.

[Pat]

It's like, see, that's. That's the little. The. The indie artists that are women. That's fine. You can get away with it. The mainstream artists. It's like very, like, tough because, like, I got all this, like this tough bravado.

[Carrie]

Different.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

Like you playing Sexy Red.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

On your Instagram story. Some people might look at it like, oh, you plan to take the red. Even though her stuff like, come on now.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying.

[Mike]

I don't feel like snow. Allegra Snort.

[Pat]

She still. She kind of fold into that, like, indie woman. Like, you can get away. You can put. I want you around on your fucking story. But putting session 32 is not going to get it done, brother.

[Mike]

Some session 32. How's that one go? Okay, okay, okay. That's that.

[Carrie]

What about Olivia Dean?

[Mike]

I've done the song with her too.

[Pat]

Yeah, no, you can do that. Talk to me. Talk to me. That's the only time I sing about a man.

[Carrie]

It's so interesting.

[Mike]

I don't. I don't tame the lyrics when I sing that.

[Pat]

N. You got to send it to your dad.

[Mike]

I'm comfortable. I'm comfortable enough in my masculinity. Harar.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Mike]

Come on. Come on now.

[Pat]

Do that for me.

[Caller 1]

Come on, bro.

[Carrie]

Come on, bro.

[Mike]

Let me. Let me say masculinity.

[Pat]

There you go.

[Mike]

I'm comfortable enough in my masculinity that I can play those type of songs without feeling like. Or I can. I don't have to change up the lyrics.

[Carrie]

I love that because I feel like some songs and some artists. Men just feel like they just can't because they'll get looked at different.

[Pat]

Yeah. Yeah. I. I still think there's like. There's like a. There's a lot.

[Mike]

There's some, like, like sexy red. Some of hers are, like, very direct.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

Like, I won't be like, singing all those lyrics.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

It's like very, like, what. Like just what's sexy rest I do with her song.

[Pat]

No, you do, because you like that.

[Mike]

That one I can sing. I could do that one.

[Pat]

When I tell obviously, like, a lot of people, it's just like saying Wimby is going to be good. But I will say Mike caught on song early and told me that it was going to be a hit.

[Mike]

I thought it was going to be a hit and.

[Pat]

But you also did. You liked her lyric about like. I think she's talking about something about

[Mike]

her booty hole that season.

[Pat]

The Justin Bieber one.

[Mike]

Yeah. It's like how that song. Oh, we talked about it on Patreon.

[Carrie]

I did not. I didn't like her on that one.

[Pat]

You like.

[Mike]

I didn't. I Didn't at first, but then it grew on me. But I can't repeat.

[Pat]

I can't, like.

[Mike]

I can't jam out the dance. So that's like. It's like. All right, that's like, directly, like. That's like an advance almost.

[Pat]

No, no, that one a little bit too crazy.

[Carrie]

That's a pause.

[Pat]

Yeah, but I'm telling you, the music, like, glow, Cardi, they all have.

[Mike]

I can do some glow. I can do some glow.

[Carrie]

R. Women are popping, man.

[Pat]

They be killing, bro. They be killing because, like, some of these dudes that be, like, rapping and like that, it's like, bro, I do not want. I want to. I think. I think rappers need to get back to talking about their real life.

[Mike]

Some of them, like, are going to jail for that.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no, no, no. That. But that's fine, though. Like, if you really in the streets and shit like that, you can find some double entendres to let people know you in the streets without incriminating yourselves and like that. Whatever, whatever, whatever. I'm talking about the. That got, like, Bentleys and Ferraris and like that. And then when a music video pop out, you doing the fake airplane. Like, you ain't got no Bentleys and Ferraris, bro. And that's okay. Yeah, I don't have a Bentley or Ferrari either, bro. But I'm not about to sit up here and be talking about, like, I do this and I do that to get an extra listener. Like, why would you want somebody listening to you like that?

[Mike]

I think, too, I'm at the age now that I used to, like, you know, as a kid, I would like to take pictures in front of, like, people's, like, fan, like, their sports cars. I take like, oh, it's a cool car. But, like, now I don't think I could ever do. I don't care what car it is.

[Pat]

I'm trying to think, like. Like, I don't care.

[Mike]

What if I rented it? Then I'm taking a picture of it.

[Carrie]

Yeah. Cause you pay for it.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carrie]

But somebody else. Then you come out.

[Mike]

Not like, see, somebody's like, yeah, I see somebody's, like, Lambo parked on the side of the street. Then I, like, take a picture of it. It's like, come on, now.

[Pat]

No, some of them dudes, weird. I know. Some of y', all, it's okay to me. I like when the women do it. You know what I'm saying? It's like, you. Wherever you at, you earn to be there. You know what I'm saying, hell, no.

[Mike]

I judge the girls that overextend their. Their heads to show the. The double R's.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Mike]

Like, if you're going like this. Come on now, bruh. Like, I see this. I already see the stars in the swing that do this. I like when they.

[Pat]

You hate him.

[Mike]

No, no, I like when it's like, more like they're. They're shown that they're doing, like, they're being very obvious, like, what they're doing.

[Pat]

Tilt that head.

[Mike]

The one that. Trying to, like, make it seem like it's, like, very subtle. It's like, come on now.

[Carrie]

Like, it's the norm.

[Pat]

Come on.

[Mike]

There's dudes. There's dudes that do it, too. Yeah, so I'm judging them, too.

[Pat]

No, she bagged the dude with a Rolls Royce.

[Carrie]

She should flex it.

[Pat]

What you want.

[Mike]

You don't believe she can afford it herself?

[Pat]

Would you want to cry in a Nissan or Rolls Royce?

[Mike]

You don't think she can? Why should it have to be a dude that bought it for her?

[Pat]

Obviously. What you mean she in a passenger seat? I see this.

[Mike]

I don't know how you know it's not hers, though, huh?

[Pat]

I know it's not.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You just don't think women make enough money in America.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. I just know.

[Mike]

What do you have to say about the age gap?

[Caller 1]

The.

[Mike]

The wealth gap?

[Pat]

Well, I.

[Carrie]

This one's International Century Month.

[Pat]

Exactly. That's. That's one.

[Mike]

What do you. What do you have to say? What are you doing to change it?

[Pat]

I'm. Yes, I am judging a woman. If she's that rich and she bought a Rolls Royce, Ill get a classier car, first of all. But. No, but you talking about the. Come on, bro.

[Caller 2]

Hello.

[Pat]

Hello. What it do?

[Caller 2]

Hey. Oh, my God. I'm a crab and Walmart. Crab and karaoke. I'm a karaoke. So sorry I missed that first clock.

[Mike]

Oh, no, you're good. What song you sing?

[Caller 2]

I didn't sing yet, but I was gonna do out on the Land by Tina Marie.

[Pat]

Okay, tell us how that sound a little bit.

[Caller 2]

No, no, no, it's okay.

[Caller 1]

Okay.

[Pat]

You gonna do it on the mic? We're afraid to do it in front of us.

[Caller 2]

I'm from Detroit because it's different.

[Mike]

You come to the Detroit show.

[Caller 2]

I am.

[Mike]

And we did karaoke for a hundred dollars at the Chicago show just recently. So we gotta see you on stage.

[Caller 2]

It's a lot of strangers. I can't even sing too good.

[Pat]

What do you mean you gotta see her on stage?

[Mike]

Gotta see her on stage.

[Pat]

Women's International.

[Mike]

I got a question for you.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Mike]

What makes you angry every time you think about it?

[Caller 2]

My best friend being in jail. Now, allegedly, my best friend robbed a bank. Very alleged.

[Mike]

Okay? Very alleged. That's very unique.

[Pat]

That's very unique to say alleged because it's like. Like if someone says, like, my friend allegedly sold drugs, they'd be like, okay, they had weed on them and they got conspiracy. But allegedly, to rob a blank.

[Mike]

Allegedly. And they're in jail. Doesn't mean you gotta explain this.

[Pat]

Let's hear the story.

[Mike]

Are they still in like. Like, is there a open case for them or something?

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So what? No proof of innocence? Like, if it's allegedly, like, let's hear it.

[Caller 2]

I mean, I was on the phone for most of the part. Last time I checked, the was at home.

[Mike]

Swear to God. Was it like. Was it the defense? Was it. Was it like, like, like running into. Did they accuser allegedly of running to, like, the bank with, like, gun ablaze and saying, everybody on their knees?

[Caller 2]

Yeah, yeah, it was.

[Carrie]

He.

[Caller 2]

It was pretty viral. It was a very viral.

[Pat]

Oh, viral. Is this like, oh, set it off or some.

[Caller 2]

Like, I'm not gonna hold you up. It definitely gave. Set it off.

[Caller 3]

Eyes.

[Caller 2]

I don't know what the was going on.

[Pat]

Did she. Does she have a team or she's solo dolo.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Caller 2]

Allegedly. Allegedly.

[Pat]

Was she desperate for money? Is it. Did you know she was on hard times like that? Because, like, robbing a bank is like, end all, be all. It's like, I know I can do a lot of years behind this, but I need this money that badly, and I can't find a way to get this money.

[Caller 2]

It. When I think about it, see, because I don't know. Because I know a few things. Me personally, I feel it's like. It's the way you go about things. If you allegedly have done that, you could have done that without doing anything extra and did five years and, you know, have your money put up and be straight. But the kind of went overboard and it's like looking pretty double digits.

[Pat]

Double digits? What? What, she pistol whipping everybody?

[Caller 2]

No, I really don't want to say too.

[Mike]

No, no, I feel it. I feel it.

[Pat]

I mean, she shot somebody.

[Mike]

She shot somebody. So, okay, what makes you. What makes you angry about it?

[Caller 2]

Because me, okay, so who the hell I'm gonna go outside with? Like, realistically speaking, like, for real, I'm not even trying to be funny. I feel like that was so inconsiderate. Because if you needed a bill paid and you honestly need to pay, I would have paid it, but paid it. Paid.

[Mike]

It's a safe place, Don'.

[Caller 2]

I would have helped you pay it. You don't have to go allegedly commit those type of things.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, she's cooked. But the thing is.

[Caller 2]

Can I say one more thing?

[Pat]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Caller 2]

Okay. Because you thought you guys did actually make me mad. Another thing that makes me mad is because I think he listens to the pod. But we'll see. What makes me mad is this one dude that's allegedly in my life. I don't like how he a big ass liar. He lies so much and it's so weird. How can you be in love with a person but you got all these extracurricular things going on? It doesn't make any sense.

[Pat]

What is he lying about?

[Caller 2]

Lying about his life and what he be having going on. I'm very honest about what I do and what I got going on. I've been honest.

[Mike]

Life, like, in, like, his occupation? Like, what he does for a living or just like, relationships?

[Caller 2]

No, just relationship type of vibes.

[Mike]

Got it.

[Caller 3]

It.

[Pat]

So, okay, so, like, what is he lying about? You think he. He's not being honest about dealing with other women or.

[Caller 2]

He talks to me. He's very open. He talks to me about who he's dealing with. But he lies about the situation and how it's going. Like, in his. He'll say, he'll be, oh, it's so good. Well, not so good. I'm sorry. It's bad. I'm not talking to her no more. But he say certain things and it's like, wait, so y' all not.

[Mike]

Y' all not exclusive then?

[Caller 2]

Not at all.

[Pat]

So why are you mad that he a liar?

[Caller 2]

Because I like honesty. If I could be honest about who I talk to and what I do, you could be honest as well. Especially if you want some coochie up out of me.

[Mike]

I feel that, like, if you're having sex with multiple people, you would want to know that. But you guys already know that you guys are having sex with different people.

[Pat]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. What about you, though? Though, like, are you. Are you also seeing other people?

[Caller 2]

It's not about what I'm doing in life.

[Pat]

That's crazy. That's crazy.

[Mike]

But you're honest with him, right?

[Pat]

Honest with him?

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

Okay.

[Caller 2]

No, really, I'm very honest. He literally knows what I got going on. But does he know everything okay with that?

[Pat]

Is he number one?

[Caller 2]

Everything he Number one. No. No.

[Pat]

So he knows he's not number one.

[Caller 3]

Yes.

[Pat]

I feel like he might not feel

[Mike]

like he owes you an explanation.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Just like he also probably likes being

[Caller 2]

happy, but he's only happy when he's around me. He really don't be happy with nobody else.

[Pat]

Anywho, man.

[Mike]

Oh, man. We'll see you at the show. You have a good one.

[Pat]

You gonna make me go? I want to get away from you. You're gonna make me rob a bank, too.

[Caller 2]

Wait, I have a question. I have a question.

[Mike]

Go ahead.

[Caller 2]

Okay. So, Pat, you're from Pontiac. Just out of curiosity, do you think DDG have good music or not?

[Pat]

Yep. Fire music.

[Caller 2]

Okay. He got a few good songs. I'll give you that. I'll give you that.

[Pat]

Now you got some great music. This is like, come on, now.

[Mike]

She thought you were going, you'll get to the Bachelor.

[Caller 2]

No, I really just be wanting to hear everybody's opinion about him. The city talk about him so bad, but it's like, the boy be having some fire songs.

[Pat]

Detroit talks about him so bad that sometimes. Yeah, I just think. I just. I just kind of think, like, it's like that. I don't know why I think the generation above me had, like, a weird rivalry with Detroit or because, you know, Detroit be trying to little bro Pontiac and stuff like that. I don't know. It just. I feel like everybody from Michigan should just rep everybody from Michigan. That's what every other state do.

[Caller 2]

That's what exactly.

[Pat]

We the only ones that be like, he. He from hp, man. He know, like, come on, bro.

[Mike]

All right.

[Caller 1]

All right.

[Mike]

We'll see you.

[Caller 2]

Okay, thank you. How about make the pot? Oh, you did turn to the loose.

[Mike]

Yo, yo, yo.

[Caller 1]

What's up? How you guys doing? I'm huge fan.

[Pat]

Yo, yo, thanks, bro. We're a fan of you, bro.

[Mike]

I got a question for you, man. What's the harshest. What's the harshest truth about yourself that you needed to hear?

[Caller 3]

Year?

[Caller 1]

Well, apparently I'm the right guy, but it's always the wrong time, so I don't know how that math checks out,

[Mike]

but are you in a relationship? Are you in a relationship now?

[Caller 1]

Just started, like, a month ago.

[Pat]

I'm confused, like, who's telling you you're the right guy at the wrong time?

[Caller 1]

Well, a couple exes, a couple situationships over the past couple years.

[Mike]

Are you worried about it happening in this relationship?

[Caller 1]

I.

[Caller 3]

Sure.

[Caller 1]

I'm trying not to be worried about it. Yeah.

[Mike]

It seemed like you kind of committed. Is that Is that her in your profile picture?

[Caller 1]

Yes, sir.

[Mike]

Oh, my thing a month in. Is she your profile picture?

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Pat]

This is simping. No.

[Mike]

You think so?

[Pat]

No, I think you're doing too much. And actually. Let me stop that. Let me stop that. There's no such thing as simping. You know, you. You love your girl how you want to love your girl. How long you knew her before you started dating her, though?

[Caller 1]

Two, three months?

[Pat]

Yeah, the stop. Bro like, bro, like bro.

[Mike]

Everybody loves differently.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. Like, fellas, fellas, fellas, fellas, fellas. Only make your girlfriend your profile picture if you're ready for it never to go back. So it's like, how old are you?

[Caller 1]

Well, you're not wrong, but we had a conversation about it. I'm almost 30. We had a conversation about it and you know, I was like, like, why not? You know, I don't have a problem. I don't. You sometimes don't work and then you look stupid, but you look stupid for what, 10 minutes and then you go about your day.

[Mike]

Nobody cares that much. I feel like I care.

[Pat]

I care. I'm invest. I'm literally about to follow you. And if y' all don't make it, bro, I'm cooking you. No, but, no, but real. I think what will help change my mind and make me wrong is I

[Caller 1]

mean, I just traveled 1800 miles, I mean, 1200 miles to go see her, so.

[Pat]

Whoa, whoa. This is long distance too.

[Caller 1]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

Wait, wait. What she do for a living? Wait, let's. Let's get the states right. Where y' all states at? Like, where are you from? Like, don't tell your city.

[Caller 1]

Just, I'm east coast. Massachusetts, huge Midwest. Minnesota.

[Pat]

Minnesota. Okay, Y' all been together, what, three months, right? Total? Three, four months.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Pat]

How, like, how often do y' all see each other?

[Caller 1]

That was the first time I saw her when I took the trip.

[Mike]

Okay, you've only seen each other once.

[Pat]

He gonna make me beat his ass. Like, real, bro.

[Caller 1]

Yeah, but you know, we spent like the whole. We spent two weeks together. I was supposed to spend a week I up and I was like, you know what I'm saying? An extra week.

[Mike]

I was. I was in a long term relationship, a long distance relationship, basically because my girl lived in la.

[Pat]

We were already going to la.

[Caller 1]

It was my first time doing it.

[Pat]

Don't even think your girlfriend is still isn't your profile picture.

[Mike]

Yeah, still. But that's because I feel like I have my own.

[Pat]

Like, but you still have my own.

[Mike]

I have my own Brand, though.

[Pat]

This gave up. How many followers you got? Let me see this Instagram. You better be like a dormant ass Instagram. You must just don't care about your.

[Mike]

You don't.

[Caller 1]

I don't. Yeah, I don't be using those.

[Mike]

184, 000 followers. I mean, sorry. 184 followers.

[Caller 1]

Damn.

[Mike]

And a private page. Come on, now. He can do whatever he wants.

[Pat]

Okay, this is the last question because I could be wrong. Does she, like, give you that vibe that, like, oh, this is the girl I'm gonna marry because she's just so different from the other girls?

[Caller 1]

Oh, yeah. 100.

[Pat]

So you think I was single for

[Caller 1]

five years and then, you know, to

[Mike]

actually get to that stage, you're a love at first sight type of.

[Pat]

No, I am, and that's why I had to ask him that last question.

[Caller 1]

Okay.

[Pat]

And now I'm pulling back all my statements because if you feel like you about to marry her. How old is she?

[Caller 1]

We're both in our late 20s. I'm about to be 30 this year. She's just turned 29.

[Pat]

Yeah. Okay. So y' all really locked in. Y' all know y' all gonna get married? Y' all having conversations about getting married already, I'm guessing.

[Caller 1]

Oh, you know, it's been mentioned here and there.

[Mike]

Who's gonna move where, you think?

[Caller 1]

Oh, I. I'm definitely moving towards the Midwest from Massachusetts.

[Pat]

Yeah, you got to get out of the Massachusetts. Yeah, don't bring it to no Massachusetts. You might get her took there. You know what I'm saying? I'm sorry, Wait, where'd she live at again? Oh, Minnesota. Yeah, like 20. Okay. But yeah, yeah, Minnesota. Pretty good. Pretty diverse, man. Some. Somewhere to start a family, you know what I'm saying?

[Mike]

Or daycare.

[Caller 3]

Yeah,

[Caller 1]

we're not flying on staying there. We're planning on, you know, I'm gonna move over there, give it a vibe of the actual vibe check being more local. Now, it doesn't mean we're gonna be living together and all that, but we're gonna.

[Mike]

No, if you move. Jumpstarter, if you move there, don't move to another apartment.

[Pat]

No, that's so stupid.

[Mike]

If you're already moving there, just moving together at that point. At that point. It doesn't make any sense.

[Pat]

That's so ass backwards. You already moving a whole state, so you gonna. So you're gonna stay 15 minutes away from her in a new state. That's so dumb.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Then you don't need to be there yet.

[Mike]

Yeah, just wait. Just take Your time.

[Pat]

Take your time. I'm saying this moving too fast.

[Caller 1]

I mean, it's not tomorrow, but, you

[Pat]

know, you literally only met her one time. Have. Has she even took a. In front of you?

[Caller 1]

Yeah, we grown ups, like, people. People got flat. And then some people poop. You know, I'm not gonna be like, ew, I'm. I'mma step outside and smoke a cigarette while you poop.

[Pat]

Okay, okay.

[Caller 1]

All right.

[Pat]

Okay, okay, okay, okay. What's one thing about her that you be like, okay, she's the one.

[Caller 1]

She's more communicative and more spiritually aware of herself. Okay.

[Pat]

I mean, that's a really good. I really like. Because if it works for you, man, I'm happy, man. Yeah, it just is what it is. Profile picture is crazy. Like, you. Like, I would move on.

[Caller 1]

You know what the thing is?

[Mike]

That's how you show.

[Caller 1]

I try to do it all right away. Which is supposed to be, like, one of them. And then everything changed, and I was like, all right, It. We.

[Mike]

Some dudes. Some dudes won't even post their girl. So that. Hey, that's a. That's a big step, bro. Bro, you don't even got a poster.

[Pat]

This was single.

[Caller 3]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

I mean, I'm not.

[Pat]

That was single for five years.

[Mike]

Yeah, bro. He waited for the right one.

[Pat]

No, he did not love his love, bro.

[Caller 1]

I was engaged before that, and it didn't work out. He literally. Taking my own time.

[Pat]

Thank you. He literally didn't wait.

[Mike]

No, you waited, bro. It can't. The opportunity came to you, bro.

[Pat]

He literally just said that. Yeah, that he got turned down, and people kept saying ugly, wrong time to him over and over again.

[Caller 1]

That's hilarious, man. Bro.

[Pat]

All right, bro.

[Mike]

You have a good one, man.

[Caller 3]

Thank you.

[Mike]

Yeah, bro.

[Caller 2]

Hello.

[Pat]

Hello.

[Caller 2]

Hi.

[Pat]

Welcome to crashing me's podcast.

[Caller 2]

What's up?

[Pat]

What up? What up? What up? I got a question for you. What makes you angry every time you think about it?

[Caller 2]

Well, my baby daddy has been using me this whole past year while he didn't have a job. And then I got him a job, and then now he's, like, fucking with some girl at his job, and he left. He left me and his family that he apparently loved so much.

[Pat]

Like, that's not funny. But what job is it?

[Caller 2]

The bowling alley. And he listens to y', all, like, religiously every week, so he might know who I am.

[Mike]

Oh, this is.

[Carrie]

Who the.

[Pat]

Could he possibly meet at the bowling alley?

[Caller 2]

It's his coworker. And mind you, I was the one who told him to text her because they were already friends, so they must have already been talking on some. But, yeah, I told him to text her, get him a job. And, yeah, two weeks later, now they're, like, in this happy relationship.

[Mike]

It's not funny, but it's just the. It's just the irony of everything. I feel like that makes it, like. Because this is, like, it's up.

[Pat]

No, I just, like, it's up because where my mind goes. I don't know why. I just got, like, a video of them in my head, and she just rolled a strike, and she ran to him, and they started making out on their break. So it's just like, okay,

[Carrie]

I don't

[Caller 1]

want to think about that.

[Mike]

Did you confront him about this, though?

[Caller 2]

Yeah, like, he literally was. Was stay. And mind you, he has cheated on me in the past. And, like, I forgave him. What? All that. And then, so, yeah, he was staying out all night. And I'm like, you did this before? But he just kept doing it, obviously not caring. But then, yeah, like, I confronted him. I told him I don't want to be in a relationship anymore if he's not gonna, like, be honest about what he's doing, because, like, I know you're doing some shady. Like, just be honest with me. And so, yeah, ever since that conversation, he's been, like, basically living with her, and we live together, so, like, he just doesn't come home.

[Pat]

Man, oh, man.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

You made it. You made it so dark. Well, what's your message to him? Let's bash him since he listens to this. Let's.

[Caller 3]

Good,

[Caller 2]

man. You, like, you literally used me for no reason. I was so ready to leave your ass, and you made me think you were actually changed, and he didn't.

[Pat]

Yeah, tell us. Tell us something about him that's bad so we can add on to it. Give us some ammo so we can help.

[Caller 2]

He's just an. Like, huh?

[Mike]

Like, do we smell bad? Yeah, I can't dress.

[Caller 2]

He used to smell bad.

[Caller 1]

Like, oh, yeah.

[Caller 2]

But then now he. Then he started putting on cologne all of a sudden. So I guess he wants to smell

[Caller 3]

good,

[Caller 2]

but he could stink for me.

[Pat]

Oh, you old, former musty ass dog. Come on, give us one more thing. One more thing, because we know we not winning right now. You talking about you smell good, got a new girlfriend. Something bad.

[Mike]

Something bad about stay in a happy relationship.

[Pat]

He smell good? Like something bad.

[Caller 2]

Just, honestly, if y' all knew who I was talking about. He's not a good person. Like, he just Be lying all the time. He's a liar. He's a pathological liar.

[Pat]

Like.

[Mike]

Like Pinocchio ass, bro.

[Caller 2]

Dead ass. Like, he'll tell me, like, one time we've argued, and he. He'll tell me that friend reached out to him and told him information about me. And so I'll go to my friend, and they'll be like, I never even received a call from him. He's literally lying to you.

[Caller 1]

Like,

[Pat]

he's crazy. Why does he listen to us? I don't know.

[Caller 2]

I literally. I watched y' all with him, and, like, y' all will be, like, literally talking about someone who's just like, him, and he's, like, nodding his head. I'm like, you need to be taking their advice. What the. Take their advice.

[Mike]

That is funny.

[Pat]

No, that probably died.

[Mike]

That does make it more funny sometimes.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

There have been comedians I've seen. They talk about stuff that I've done, and it's like. It's like. It's funny because, you know, just a. Up.

[Pat]

No, she gotta give us one bad thing. You making him look too good right now.

[Caller 2]

What is.

[Pat]

How much about him? How much money you think in this bank account right now?

[Caller 2]

Oh, probably. It's probably in the negative.

[Pat]

Negative? Matter of fact, you about to try.

[Caller 2]

I paid for the Patreon. I paid for your Patreon for him.

[Caller 3]

I just.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, I paid for it. It was on my card.

[Pat]

You said, save my. Every time.

[Mike]

Oh, man, you love this.

[Caller 2]

All right, that's my problem. That's what I'm saying. I've been taking care of him, looking out for him, and, like, this is how he does me.

[Pat]

No, that's too crazy.

[Mike]

We wishing. We wishing. Know better. For you, though.

[Pat]

We wishing. We. We hoping that he rolling gutter balls at work.

[Caller 2]

You too. Thank y'. All.

[Pat]

Oh, Mike, Mike, hurry up. I think this her baby daddy calling. No, the girl that we was just on the line with. Hurry up.

[Mike]

I had changed outfits, and that was

[Pat]

about to get out the door. Hold on. This. This might be gold right here. Please call him.

[Caller 1]

All right.

[Mike]

Holy.

[Pat]

Holy. Yo, yo, what's good?

[Caller 1]

Yo, what's up?

[Pat]

What up? I think you. You DM'd us, but I think we just got off the phone with your baby mama, bro. Oh, that was your baby mama, bro, myself, bro. She was saying that you. Ain't you a liar? You work at a bowling alley. I know, I know, but she also said that even sometimes she catch you wearing the bowling shoes. Out, out and about.

[Caller 1]

He said what?

[Mike]

He said that she catches you wearing

[Pat]

the bowling shoes out, like, outside of work?

[Caller 1]

I don't wear my bowling shoes at work. I just work in my. What the. What they've been talking about.

[Mike]

Why you. Why you. Why'd you leave her for the. Your co worker, bro?

[Caller 1]

See, I feel like I was gonna ask that whole ass. Bro, it's not even like that. It's. I promise it's not like that.

[Mike]

It's just.

[Caller 1]

She just didn't like how was transpiring in a relationship.

[Pat]

Told me to use a big word. We gonna believe what's transpiring me?

[Mike]

So you guys. You guys broke up, bro?

[Caller 1]

No, you said what?

[Mike]

I'm like I said, you guys just broke up. You just broke up with her for no reason?

[Caller 1]

No, it wasn't the fact that we broke up. We had a. I mean, we'd been together for almost three years now. I'm taking care of her kid.

[Pat]

That's not mine.

[Caller 1]

Like, her kid, call me dad type. Like, so I got a whole nother responsibility.

[Mike]

Wait, that's his kid the whole time?

[Caller 1]

No, no, no.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

Oh, absolutely not.

[Mike]

Okay, that's not the first one.

[Pat]

That's one pushback in your favor. We didn't know that, but do y'

[Mike]

all have kids together?

[Caller 1]

Huh?

[Mike]

Do y' all have kids together?

[Caller 1]

We have one child.

[Pat]

You are alive.

[Caller 1]

Y' all not listen. It's two kids, bro.

[Pat]

You're not about to gaslight me, bro.

[Caller 1]

I am, because you not listening, dog.

[Mike]

So I'm gonna gaslight you. All right, Go ahead, bro. My bad.

[Caller 1]

All right, so, yeah, so the first kid, like, when I met her, this is like two years ago. Two and a half years ago. Her daughter was

[Pat]

talking about kid. We talking about why you dating the girl at the bowling alley. Talk about that.

[Caller 1]

All right. It's not even the fact that why I'm dating this. Like, the is a 10. Like what the.

[Mike]

The is a 10. Okay.

[Caller 1]

The y' all want me to say X white you.

[Pat]

You tweaking hard, Mr. Gutterball. I bet you is like that. I'm good at podcast.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

I'll be here all day.

[Mike]

Did you leave. Did you leave your. Your baby moms?

[Caller 1]

No. So basically my own baby mom didn't tell y' all was that she hit me up with like, a ultimatum two weeks ago saying, you want to be an open relationship or we're not going to relationship anymore. I said, this is coming from a man who's been in an open marriage before. I was like, bro, I'm not gonna do that.

[Pat]

A former cuck and he's not going back.

[Mike]

Oh, she wanted to be in an open relationship, huh? She wanted an open relationship?

[Caller 1]

Yeah, she wanted a relationship because she didn't want to have to worry about my whereabouts.

[Pat]

Got it.

[Mike]

Got it.

[Pat]

So she just. She like, oh, I want to keep the household together, but, like, I'd rather have something on the side if. If I got to worry about you having something on the side.

[Mike]

Right, but did you have something on the side?

[Caller 1]

Y', all, what are we doing right now? Like, what the.

[Pat]

That was crazy.

[Mike]

Like, how is that crazy? Cuz he say don't want an open relationship, but I'm saying, are they exclusive up to that point of the conversation?

[Pat]

I know, but you ask. I was.

[Caller 1]

I was g say, I'm gna say this. I'm g say this. I'm a. That pays attention to. I. Like, I'm not one of them that like. Like, that's gonna tell their woman to stop some doing this.

[Pat]

When they notice it the first time,

[Caller 1]

I'm gonna, you know, notice it over and over again. Like building the RICO case. I'm gonna notice it over and over again, making sure, like, this bitch tripping. Or am I tripping? She did it the second time. No, I'm not tripping.

[Pat]

What was she doing? What was she doing? What was she doing? You're not saying what was she doing? Exactly.

[Caller 1]

Okay, so her excuse to why she closest with male friends is because she grew up without, I don't know, female. I don't know, a woman taking care. I don't know, whoever this woman want

[Pat]

to get, how many male friends she got. Like, what's. Like what. What situation? Really damn near all. And, like, is she hanging out with these male friends solo?

[Caller 1]

Nah, nah, nah, I'm answering. I don't want that. I don't know. Now that I know her, apparently a homebody now.

[Pat]

So I'm just saying, what was the problem that arise? Like, what were you building a RICO off of just because she had the friends to begin with? Or she texting guys behind your back? Like, what was.

[Mike]

Was it?

[Caller 1]

Okay, so back in, like, September. This is so messy.

[Mike]

You called.

[Caller 1]

All right, True. Well, y' all call.

[Mike]

Well, you told us to call.

[Pat]

All right, go. Come on, come on.

[Caller 1]

All right, all right. So look, so basically, back in September, I. All I did was ask about a co worker who I saw a picture of him and her phone. He took a photo of them together. I guess, like a little jokey joke or whatever, you know what I'm saying? It's cool. I was just like, who's this in your phone? Why are you taking pictures like this in your phone? I'm not comfortable with this. You shouldn't be doing that. But then you probably want to on you. If you take photos like this in your phone. You feel me? Thirst trap photos.

[Pat]

Oh, damn.

[Caller 1]

Like, what the. We're not stupid. We're not stupid, bro. We're adults.

[Pat]

Got it?

[Caller 1]

I said, I said I don't like that. I don't like him in your phone. She said I was gonna handle it. So she her telling me that her handling the situation was telling said male co worker, I don't want my boyfriend don't like you in my phone.

[Pat]

No, she playing in your face, bro.

[Caller 1]

Oh, God. Look. Look like I'm retarded. Okay, cool. I'm gonna be respectfully honest. I can get any in my city. I'm not gonna sit here and fabricate a single word.

[Pat]

What can I do with that information?

[Caller 1]

Okay, On my life.

[Pat]

That don't mean that you don't got a kink or something. Just because you can get any girl. Maybe you want to get any girl and you want another dude to that girl.

[Caller 1]

Like, I don't know that I'm not P. Diddy. I'm gonna say that right now.

[Pat]

I don't know if P. Diddy was a cuck though.

[Caller 1]

You know exactly what the that was doing.

[Pat]

You're the one that brought him up.

[Caller 1]

You know what Sean was doing. Quit playing.

[Pat]

What the.

[Mike]

Well, how do we get the P. Diddy?

[Pat]

I don't know.

[Caller 1]

No. Cause he's trying to call a cut bro. Bro. All that. That's crazy. As.

[Pat]

I'm just saying. Relationship. You told us he was in the open.

[Mike]

What city are you even from?

[Caller 1]

I was in an open marriage with my ex wife. She was a porn star. All that. Like, bro, I swear, like you in the office. Did you watch.

[Pat]

Did you watch the videos?

[Caller 1]

What the are you talking about?

[Pat]

Yeah, did you watch her videos of

[Caller 1]

my ex wife and other people? Yeah, I don't care. I mean, if she showed me, I would have saw it. I don't care. I didn't actually see it specifically.

[Pat]

Yeah, you cuck. That's what I'm talking about. You watch. You watched somebody you were dating get by somebody else and then you had. I said I did it.

[Caller 1]

I said I did it.

[Pat]

You never seen a video of her having sex while you were together?

[Caller 1]

I was the other probably. I don't remember. This was three years ago.

[Pat]

Watch that out of his brain. Listen, all I was saying is that you were a former cuck, and you was not going down the road again.

[Caller 1]

Listen to me. I promise. Listen, y' all don't understand. If y' all met me, y' all don't have to. Bro, all that a is not worried about these. They just want to lie. They don't like, you know, being told what the they doing. Babe, mama basically just try to tell me you can't do what I'm doing.

[Pat]

No, no, I don't think. I don't think you're wrong. We're all. We're actually on your side. We do think she was doing something.

[Mike]

I'm not on your side.

[Pat]

Side. Well, we don't actually. You're right, Mike.

[Caller 1]

All right.

[Mike]

I mean, you could speak your mind, brother. I'm just saying I'm not on your side.

[Caller 1]

I'm not nobody's side. You're right.

[Pat]

You're right. I don't actually know the details because she didn't tell us anything. And then neither one of y' all admitting y' alls that each other has.

[Caller 1]

Okay, okay. With the flaw that I had. Like, what I like. I get it. The fuck bra do I have it?

[Caller 3]

Just love.

[Mike]

This is toxic, bro.

[Pat]

Crazy, bro.

[Caller 1]

Bro, I am not.

[Pat]

That nigga is a cuck that rolls from the ashes. That is Mr. That went from cuck to mister. What a transformation, man.

[Caller 2]

Bro.

[Caller 1]

What?

[Pat]

You did it.

[Mike]

Good job. Oh, man. All right, bro. This. This turn to Jerry Springers right now.

[Caller 1]

Can I say one thing, though, real quick?

[Mike]

Go, though.

[Caller 1]

I just want to let y' all know I've been listening to y' all since, what, 2019. 2020. So like, a long. Yeah, episode 30.

[Mike]

You started in 2021, but go ahead.

[Caller 1]

So it was my senior year then. Yeah. So it was my senior. No.

[Pat]

Shout out.

[Caller 1]

I think it's my brother.

[Pat]

Shout out to you, brother.

[Mike]

Appreciate it.

[Caller 1]

Yeah, I'm so like that. He went on a show for it when I started watching that, like, what that on this all the time now?

[Pat]

Yes, sir.

[Caller 1]

Y' all funny as y'. All. Y' all got me through my divorce, bro. Y' all got me through. Like, when I was going through my damn baby was about to be born. Like, I was going through, like, crazy with my baby mama and all that. Like, y' all need, like, the whole time.

[Mike]

Yeah, we're here for you now, bro, too.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Sound like you still need us.

[Caller 1]

I put my baby mama off y' all back in, like, Thanksgiving. Like, she didn't even like me. I used to literally, I swear to God. Misogynistic so misogynistic.

[Mike]

They're sexist.

[Caller 1]

I'm like, this the same that called you yesterday to talk about me? Like, bro, what the. You want to be like me so

[Mike]

bad she can't be sleep.

[Pat]

She called us misogynistic.

[Mike]

All right, bro, you have a good one.

[Caller 1]

All right.

[Mike]

Oh, welcome to Crash Court.

[Caller 2]

Hey.

[Caller 1]

Hey.

[Pat]

What it do?

[Mike]

I guess let us know what's your case?

[Caller 2]

Well, so I've been in a relationship for about five years, and my husband found out, like, maybe earlier this this year, like, in January, that I have, like, over 9,000 pictures of his meat soft, like, from whenever we became seriously exclusive. So, like, a couple days. So before he found out. And I just added some more pictures to that collection the other night.

[Pat]

In what situations are you grabbing these pictures?

[Caller 2]

Oh, when he's soft, as I'm talking, like, bad day, flat tire, co workers pissing him off, got the flu.

[Pat]

Are you like, does this turn you on? Like,

[Caller 2]

does it turn me on? Yeah, it does. Cause I know he really, really enjoys me and he loves me, because that's not what I'm getting, You know,

[Caller 1]

you

[Mike]

say, so he's the ultimate grower, huh?

[Carrie]

Yes.

[Caller 2]

Yes.

[Pat]

I didn't want to ask that. I didn't want to be on record asking.

[Caller 2]

I think I should get, like, service or something.

[Pat]

Like, what's. Like. Go ahead.

[Caller 2]

Why should get, like, community service?

[Mike]

But why are you taking those pictures, though? Like, it feels like you're, like, you're holding on to it for blackmail.

[Caller 2]

I'm definitely. I would never blackmail him. Not like that. Not. That's like, I would never blackmail anybody sexually. I would blackmail him if he committed a crime, but that's just for me because we're literally going to be together forever. We're married. Why can I not have.

[Pat]

Do you go back and look at these pictures? Is it something you enjoy to go back and look at?

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I mean, that's your man.

[Caller 2]

Like, when he. That is, like, when he's pissing me off, I look at those pictures.

[Pat]

Oh, that's different. That's different. So it's out of spite. So you want to see him at his lowest or his smallest?

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So funny.

[Caller 1]

A little.

[Caller 2]

Okay.

[Pat]

You know, I hope he take pictures of you when you bloated. Guilty.

[Caller 2]

I mean, I still look good.

[Caller 1]

Okay.

[Caller 2]

I think he still look good soft.

[Mike]

I would just. I would just be afraid of your phone ever getting hacked.

[Caller 2]

Oh, my God.

[Mike]

Don't leave your phone around anybody.

[Caller 2]

I don't.

[Pat]

Are they in a hidden folder or are they just like, out there.

[Caller 2]

It's, like, in a vault. Like, I have to put in a password and face ID to get to it because we do have kids, and I don't want them to get in my phone.

[Mike]

Is his face in any of these soft pics?

[Caller 2]

Mine is. Is my face in it? Yeah, I pose next to it.

[Mike]

I'm talking about, is this face in it?

[Caller 2]

Sometimes. Oh, yeah. Like, sometimes I'll come home at like, 2, 3 o' clock in the morning, and he's just there, a spread ego in the bed. Just.

[Pat]

Okay, bigger question. Why are you coming home at 2

[Caller 2]

or 3 in the morning? Because I work with friends and family. I have a social life, and my husband trusts me.

[Pat]

That's two or three in the morning. It's strict around here.

[Caller 2]

It's strict. We live, like, 30 to 45 minutes away from civilization.

[Mike]

Oh, I got it.

[Caller 2]

We're in the country.

[Pat]

I got you.

[Mike]

And he doesn't know any of this.

[Caller 2]

He doesn't know what?

[Mike]

That you have pictures of him on soft. On your phone?

[Caller 2]

Yeah, he. He discovered it, and he was like, hey, what the are you doing? And I was like, I don't know.

[Mike]

How does he feel about it?

[Caller 2]

He doesn't really care. He. He just wanted to make sure I wasn't, like, trying to blackmail him or something. And I was like, no, I would have done it, like, at picture 200, not 9,000.

[Pat]

Yeah. I still think it's black. You might not know it's blackmail. Yeah. And hopefully it never ends up being blackmail, but God forbid something happened in your relationship where y' all get separated. Those pictures.

[Caller 2]

Oh, my gosh. I hope he never puts me in that position.

[Pat]

That's crazy. That's so crazy. Not guil. Come on now.

[Caller 1]

Oh, wow.

[Caller 2]

Okay. Y' all open a new perspective for me. I'm not gonna delete them, though, but I'll just make a conscious effort not. Yeah, yeah, I'll just make a conscious effort not to. But no, it's so against me to blackmail.

[Mike]

No, I feel.

[Caller 2]

Sexually, I wouldn't do that.

[Mike]

No, I feel like that's. That's definitely wrong. But, you know, you always hear, like, when girls get out of relationship with dudes and be like, that's why his dick was little. Anyway.

[Caller 2]

No, I would never say that. Because we've been together so long and I have two kids. It wasn't that fucking small. I didn't.

[Mike]

That small.

[Caller 2]

That would be a lot.

[Pat]

The thing is, if you had this information on me, I would be fine that you. Even if you tried to expose me later after a breakup because my response would be, look how many times I was soft around you.

[Caller 2]

Oh, no, it wasn't like him just standing up in front of the bed soft. It would be like him with the flu.

[Mike]

But you don't got no.

[Pat]

You ain't heard of Jordan flu game?

[Mike]

So you don't got no pictures of him on hard?

[Caller 2]

Oh, no. I have several, but I prefer the

[Mike]

ones just more soft.

[Caller 2]

Normally when it's easy, I don't have a lot of time. When it's hard to pull the phone, I'll be like. Let me

[Pat]

just say first, you say his dick little nice and he middleman because he ain't got that much.

[Mike]

Also, as judges, I think our time limit about the talking about another man's meat is expired. So we're gonna get you off the phone. Appreciate you for being. Okay.

[Caller 2]

I didn't get my.

[Pat]

You. You guilty.

[Caller 2]

I'm good.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

We ran out of meat minutes. We can't talk about it no more.

[Caller 2]

Okay.

[Caller 3]

Hello. It's like a dream come true.

[Pat]

Yo, yo, how are you?

[Mike]

Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up.

[Caller 3]

I'm up.

[Caller 1]

All right.

[Mike]

Welcome to. Welcome to Crash Court.

[Caller 2]

Thank you.

[Mike]

What's your situation?

[Caller 3]

So I was waiting for the question.

[Mike]

I know you're good.

[Caller 3]

So my situation is I don't know if I'm wrong for wanting to sue somebody who I thought I was in love with, but here's a little backstory. So, long story short, I was talking to this guy, and in December, he got his camera stolen, and I made a big purchase on my credit card, and we had an agreement that he was going to be, you know, paying it within a couple of months. We're now at month five, and I've gotten $300 from him.

[Pat]

What was the purchase?

[Caller 1]

How much was.

[Caller 3]

Was about 21,000.

[Pat]

What'd you buy in my car?

[Mike]

USD?

[Caller 3]

Yes, US dollars.

[Pat]

I thought you didn't. You said a camera.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, it was a couple cameras with some lens and some accessories.

[Mike]

$21,000 on your credit card?

[Caller 3]

Yes.

[Pat]

What's your Social Security number?

[Mike]

We need a couple of cameras, too.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll pay, though.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, we'll pay you back at

[Pat]

least a little bit more than three.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, I got trust issues now.

[Pat]

Well, I hate he that up for us,

[Mike]

so. What. What he say he need the cameras for?

[Caller 3]

Well, He's a photographer.

[Mike]

$21,000 in equipment is. Is crazy.

[Caller 2]

So.

[Caller 3]

Am I wrong?

[Mike]

No, no, you can definitely sue him.

[Caller 2]

Okay.

[Mike]

Yeah, you definitely sue him. You're Innocent. So not guilty.

[Pat]

Do you have text messages saying that he will pay you back and that's like, part of the agreement?

[Caller 3]

Yeah, I have text messages, obviously. Nothing like written agreement, Just. Just the text messages. And every day, you know, he says he's. He's gonna send me money and.

[Mike]

And how much?

[Caller 3]

And here we are only 300.

[Mike]

$300? Out of 21,000. That's disrespectful.

[Pat]

Did that. 300 coming to lumps some. Like, did he.

[Caller 3]

What do you mean?

[Mike]

Like, was it just $300 at one

[Pat]

time or has he been nickel and diming you to 300?

[Caller 3]

No, it was just a one $300 payment.

[Pat]

God damn. How long?

[Caller 3]

Which, let me tell you, is. Is not even enough for the minimum payment.

[Pat]

Oh, we know. We know how money. We know how you are. We get it.

[Mike]

This is a real case.

[Pat]

Wait, how long you d. Date him?

[Caller 3]

Before I made the purchase.

[Pat]

When you were making the purchase, how long have you been dating at that point?

[Caller 3]

Oh, like seven months.

[Pat]

Oh, Lord.

[Mike]

Well, I take my innocent thing back. I'm sorry. That was. That was. That was like. I thought she was getting off the phone after that.

[Pat]

Can I do it?

[Mike]

Yeah, go ahead. What the 7aM Months?

[Caller 3]

Yeah, seven. I told you. I. I thought. I thought I was in love.

[Pat]

What made you think that's her age?

[Mike]

How old are you?

[Caller 3]

I'm pretty grown. I'm 27.

[Pat]

How are you? When this happened?

[Caller 2]

27.

[Caller 3]

This is my current situation right now. What.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Caller 1]

Holy.

[Pat]

Like, there's like. Like, what the. Who the are we talking to right now?

[Mike]

What was he doing to make you feel like that he. You were in love with him or that he loved you?

[Caller 3]

I mean, he. He was. He was putting it down.

[Caller 2]

I don't know.

[Mike]

And then who. How'd the relationship end again? I might have missed that part.

[Caller 3]

Well, I guess it didn't really end, but I'm at a point where it's like, like, I don't want to talk to you no more. Like, give me my.

[Pat]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Mike]

Y' all are still together?

[Caller 3]

Well, there hasn't been anything official that we like broke up or nothing like that. But every time we reach. I'm not to each other, it's like, yo, send me my money or give me my back.

[Mike]

What Type of relationship?

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying. Like, listen, listen, listen. I'm not trying to down myself, but I truly don't believe I have $21,000 dick. You know what I mean? Like, there's no.

[Caller 3]

I don't know. Kai. You kind of cute.

[Pat]

50,000. I think he crazy. Okay. I'm getting married. Next time summer with me or you

[Caller 3]

want me to just pay for your wedding?

[Pat]

Just pay for my. Like, you might as well.

[Caller 2]

Okay.

[Pat]

I can be.

[Mike]

Listen, you can pay for my, too. We can be.

[Pat]

We actually. We gonna be your new friends. And we'll just take. We'll just take $2,000 a year for each of us.

[Caller 3]

I mean, that's better than the 21.

[Pat]

And no. And we make sure no man ever get no other money out of us. Out of you. Except us.

[Caller 1]

We got

[Mike]

21,000.

[Pat]

21.

[Mike]

How much? 21,000. Did you know it was gonna be $21,000?

[Caller 3]

No, I didn't.

[Pat]

How did you. How did he pay for it? Did he ask for, like. Because obviously it's a credit card. You have, what, you got an AMEX or some. And.

[Caller 3]

And it was a credit union.

[Pat]

Oh, Lord.

[Mike]

My God.

[Pat]

Oh, Lord. You gonna have to. You gonna.

[Mike]

It's hard to get them credit unions, too.

[Pat]

You got to get your leg amputated to get back. Good with the bake.

[Caller 3]

I'm to the point where I'm ready to donate some blood, but they Only give you $100.

[Pat]

Donate more than that,

[Caller 1]

you might have

[Pat]

to donate your brain while you still alive.

[Mike]

Oh, that's crazy.

[Pat]

You got to sell a couple organs to get that back. No, it's not. It's definitely time to sue him, though. That need to get get into motion already, because, like, yeah, you're guilty, but

[Mike]

he also is guilty, so.

[Caller 3]

Yeah, but who's more guilty?

[Pat]

Definitely him.

[Mike]

Definitely him. But you're just guilty for being that gullible.

[Pat]

He used you. He used and abused you. I hate. I hate to see it happen. Especially during International Women's Month. Ladies, if you out there and you can look at the transactions and he gave you your money back and you've been done. Paid for his car to get out of repo or pay for this. Some lenses, for some camera work. This better be. Is he good at this? Like, why.

[Caller 1]

He got.

[Pat]

He got all this equipment. Is he good?

[Caller 3]

He's good at his job, but. Okay,

[Mike]

I swear. I swear I won't put it on.

[Pat]

We're not exposing.

[Mike]

I won't expose it. I just want to see his. Yeah. Photography.

[Pat]

See if it's $21,000. Because we. If we had $21,000 worth of camera. I make. I make an onion bloom right in my hand. You know what I'm saying?

[Caller 2]

Oh.

[Caller 3]

And then to make things even better.

[Pat]

Better or worse?

[Caller 3]

I. Well, worse, but so you guys can get a kick out of it, I guess. He then asked me for $11,000 afterwards because supposedly his Zel was like, maxed out for the day.

[Caller 2]

Is so.

[Pat]

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Carrie]

He was.

[Pat]

It was maxed out because he received so much money?

[Caller 3]

No, I guess he, like, has sent already money. And I didn't know that Zel had this feature or whatever.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah.

[Caller 3]

So anyways. Oh. So I Apple paid a thousand dollars to finish paying his rent, and he was supposed to give me cash.

[Caller 1]

Oh, no.

[Mike]

And then you doing this to yourself.

[Caller 3]

And then the next day, he all of a sudden didn't even have the cash anymore. I'm like, what happened? And then his car got towed, and that was another 369 to get it out.

[Pat]

The 369 for who?

[Caller 3]

Well, for him to get it out, but he didn't have the money, and I thought we was with each other, so.

[Pat]

Oh, my gosh.

[Mike]

We.

[Pat]

We up to like 25k right now. Ain't no telling what else.

[Mike]

Why didn't you even tell us he gave you money back?

[Carrie]

You.

[Mike]

You. You gave $300

[Caller 3]

and.

[Mike]

Bro, this man has a private page and he's a photographer.

[Pat]

He got a lot of followers, though. Let me see. He got a lot of. Let me see. Oh, my fault.

[Mike]

A lot of photo. A private page, and it's a photographer.

[Pat]

I watch these with the security screen. Oh, man.

[Mike]

All right, you have a good one. But. Yeah.

[Pat]

Hope.

[Mike]

Hope you get your money.

[Pat]

Send us some money. I'm drop my. My cash app in my Zel in here.

[Caller 3]

All right. I got you, Pat. Just because you cute.

[Mike]

You have a.

[Caller 3]

You too. Nice talking to you guys.

[Caller 1]

Hello. Yo, what's going on?

[Mike]

Welcome to Crash Court.

[Caller 1]

What's going on? So do I just.

[Mike]

Yeah, Tell you what. I got you, bro. What's your situation?

[Pat]

Calm down. Little.

[Carrie]

Damn.

[Pat]

Let him do the show.

[Mike]

Go ahead, bro. He's. He's a little cranky.

[Caller 1]

No, I can see. So am I in the wrong for wanting to, like, work more, like, weekends and stuff instead of trying to be home?

[Pat]

What kind of car you got?

[Caller 1]

No, like, with my girl. Huh?

[Pat]

What kind of car you got

[Caller 1]

for that 150?

[Mike]

I knew I was gonna say, too.

[Pat]

Yeah. He sound like a truck driver.

[Caller 3]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Say your statement over again.

[Caller 1]

So, like, am I in the wrong for, like. Like choosing to work more often than being at home and, like, just chilling with my girl?

[Pat]

What's. What's her argument? I guess

[Caller 1]

her Argument. I don't really know, honestly.

[Mike]

It's just like, do you not enjoy spending time with your girl? I do you just like money more?

[Caller 1]

I wouldn't say that. I would more like say we need the money to do the stuff that we always want.

[Pat]

What is she saying to.

[Mike]

To you?

[Caller 1]

Like, I'm never home or I get home too late or we're opposite ships. He works night, I work morning.

[Pat]

N. Brother, how old are you?

[Caller 1]

19.

[Pat]

Bro, you keep doing you.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

That might not even be like no shade to your relationship, but having a relationship that young, the percentages of getting married right now are very, very low. But you working on your life and you continue going on your path are very, very high. If you keep doing the right thing, if you start moving stuff around for her and you're not even where you want to be at, she might leave you anyways. You know what I'm saying? You got to do what you got to do, bro. If she can hold it down, she can hold it down. This is good test for her. This is a good test for you. You know what I mean? If she can't handle you working a different shift for a little bit, then she can't handle marrying you. She can't handle having your kids. Is. Bro, you got to do you.

[Caller 1]

Oh, okay. So should I work more ships?

[Mike]

Get that money, especially if you need it? Yeah, okay.

[Pat]

She literally.

[Caller 1]

I'm not in the wrong.

[Mike]

No, no, you're not in the wrong. But I, I would make it like a, a conversation to let you let her know that that's why you're doing it and you want. And then maybe on the days you're actually off and the days that you're free, maybe just put in a little bit more effort. Effort to make those days seem more meaningful.

[Pat]

There you go. Okay, that's good, bro.

[Caller 1]

Okay.

[Pat]

That was actually good advice, man. There's some grown men that don't know that. So you, that's real good advice for a 19 year old. And don't, don't ever let somebody just like you shouldn't tell her what she should be doing in her life at this point. She shouldn't be telling you what you're doing, bro. Especially about no time spent when, when the other thing that you spending time in is like money.

[Mike]

And yeah, if you're like going out and like that, then it was like, okay, but if it's work, if you're actually just working, then it is what it is. Especially if you guys need the money.

[Pat]

Bro, you got a 4F150 at 19. She need to pipe down.

[Mike]

I feel like that's pretty standard.

[Pat]

He got two. He got two, three jobs with a 4F.

[Mike]

Y' all got any kids? I guess I didn't ask that.

[Caller 1]

We did. We had a miscarriage.

[Mike]

So Necessary.

[Pat]

Unnecessary. You notice a comedy show, but we. Sorry for your loss, brother.

[Caller 1]

Appreciate that.

[Mike]

All right, all right. Just made it sad now, so we're gonna let you go.

[Caller 1]

Did I make the podcast?

[Mike]

Yeah, you definitely.

[Pat]

Yeah, but you. But you need to take care of her. You ain't tell her. Tell us that she had a miscarriage. So you need to make sure you do this smoothly and make sure you don't hurt her feelings. You know what I'm saying?

[Caller 1]

Oh, yeah, definitely. It was not even too long ago. Like, three months ago.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. You get started with that?

[Pat]

Maybe you should have spent a little bit more time with her.

[Mike]

Definitely.

[Pat]

And wear a condom, too. Like, y' all not ready yet, bro. I did, bro.

[Caller 1]

And we used the after pill, but we went to the doctor or whatever, and they're like, I guess you were just at, like, 02%. All right, bro.

[Mike]

Not guilty, though, but just made it sad.

[Caller 1]

My bad. My bad.

[Mike]

Your bad.

[Caller 1]

Still, all your listeners up.

[Pat]

I can't even say back to you, bro.

[Mike]

You got it, bro.

[Pat]

You 19 years old, trying to start a family like an idiot, bro.

[Mike]

All right, bro.

[Pat]

I'm not happy. International Women's Month. Another tweet of the week sprinkled in here. Somebody said, oh, this is base. Savage. Let me not say this. Crack Obey on Twitter. Let me not say, like, ain't nobody. I hate the word hunching. It sound like construction workers having sex. And I always thought about.

[Mike]

I don't mind the word hunching. That sounds like you're trying to. Like, for certain, some reason. I always hear people in the south say it, but. But it just sounds like you're not trying to swear.

[Pat]

But this is my question. If you had to. If for some reason you had to tell your parents that you were having sex, how would you say it to them?

[Mike]

I'm having sex.

[Caller 1]

Huh?

[Carrie]

He said, I'mma just say it. I'm a grown man.

[Mike]

I'm having sex.

[Pat]

You would just tell your mom I'm having sex.

[Mike]

If I. If there was. That's the way I would say if I had to randomly say it. Oh, yeah.

[Carrie]

You say having a little fun.

[Pat]

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I mean. Grown people respect.

[Mike]

Your parents don't even have to respect.

[Pat]

No, that's too crazy. Like, If I was talking to my mom, just be like. Like, what was you just doing? And I, like, really had to tell her. I would just be like, if I

[Mike]

really had, I would, first of all, avoid telling her. But if I.

[Pat]

You had to.

[Mike]

I would say I was having sex.

[Pat]

Yeah, he would.

[Carrie]

Boy, I was getting some Cuddy last night.

[Mike]

No, I would even say that.

[Pat]

She wouldn't even know what that meant. You weren't getting. No.

[Mike]

I feel like my mom is very direct, especially, I would say, say that, too.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

Because there's no, like. There's no, like, she won't understand some of the slang I would use for it.

[Carrie]

So it's like, I like the transparency.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

My mom is very, like, immature. So, like, I know there would be a joke about me. Like, she'd be like, oh, you still got that little dick? You were like, that's. It's not good for a mom to say. I hope you know that she don't watch this. She good. My last tweet of the week.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Okay. Men dating bisexual women need to realize her sexual fantasy is not a thing. Threesome. She wants to peg you.

[Carrie]

I have heard that.

[Pat]

I've. I've also heard that. And there's. There's people out here that are getting pegged, but I don't know anybody that gets paid, because I'm guessing it's definitely a private thing, right?

[Mike]

This. You brought up pegging a lot on this podcast.

[Pat]

I'm, like, very, like. Because I. I don't. I don't like that there's something that exists. Yeah, but there's nobody to talk about it.

[Carrie]

It's, like, taboo. You want to be in the conversation.

[Caller 2]

I'm just saying.

[Mike]

He's trying to understand the process.

[Pat]

Take the joke. I would like to.

[Caller 1]

No, but.

[Pat]

But it's just, like, a thing, like, when you. When you hear about, like, every other type of sex, there's. There's people that vouch for it. Like, the feet people, the. The eat ass people. Like, everybody raise their hand. I eat ass. I. I suck toes. I do this. But when Pagan come around, get quiet,

[Mike]

I think that's, like, the. Everything. Everything else you can still kind of be more dumb in. Yeah, but the pegging thing is, like.

[Pat]

I mean, even the women that are doing it, like, where are they?

[Mike]

Oh, there's women that, like, getting pegged, too, I guess.

[Carrie]

No, no, no, no. I like to do it.

[Pat]

Who you think pegging the stud? Maybe there was.

[Mike]

I think there was a girl that came on the pod one time, said that she does that.

[Caller 1]

No, no, no.

[Pat]

I've never heard of anybody say they pegged a man before.

[Mike]

I think there was. So you guys can correct me if I'm wrong.

[Pat]

No, definitely correct him.

[Mike]

Put in the comments, masculinity.

[Pat]

All right. Real. Last video week, I missed one. I missed one in quotations who this dick belonged to. And the person responded, babe, I don't want to talk about her rights.

[Mike]

No,

[Pat]

That's the other thing. It's just like, I don't. You know how many people got their heart broke over that?

[Mike]

Was that a text message?

[Pat]

No, it was just like, okay. Like a quote.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

The. There's so many people that get their heart broke because they'll have a good experience with someone, and their assumption is that's the best experience that person's ever had or they haven't had an equal experience before for. You know what I mean? And like, everybody wants a truthful girlfriend or boyfriend or whatever it may be until like, moments like that. You know what I mean? It's like, you know, you take your girl to Disney World, Is that the craziest time you ever had? And they'd be like, yeah, and at one time, somebody took me to Hawaii. The are you talking about? It's the same thing that goes in and just be like, you know, like a couple just had like a great sexual experience and the sex was so great, great. And instead of the person focusing on that experience to be like, did you have a great time? Was that one of the best time. One of the best times you ever had? Just like, was that the best sex you ever had? And they're just like, one of them. Yo.

[Mike]

I feel like it's a weird question to ask in general.

[Pat]

Dudes be doing that. It's just like, the. Is this the biggest dick you ever had? And then just like.

[Mike]

That's a weird question too.

[Pat]

Yeah. That's crazy. We're all built different. Come on now, bro.

[Mike]

And she would have told you if it was.

[Pat]

Thank you. That's the best game. If you do something, if you're. If your girl is in love with you, right then she respects you and she wants to marry you. If you do something, that's the best thing that ever happened to you, she's going to let you know at that moment, even if it's close.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So if she hasn't told you you have the biggest dick.

[Mike]

No, that's not.

[Pat]

You're not even top three.

[Mike]

No, no, she doesn't have. Have to say. But I'm just saying, you're not meddling if you have to.

[Caller 2]

If.

[Mike]

If you feel the need to ask. I feel like she would have told you already. Just if you feel the need to ask. Because I feel like there's some people that just go to home relationships without that ever even being a conversation or a thought.

[Pat]

Yeah, you would think it would happen when the action of sex is going on. You think she didn't tell you during sex, so you think, like, after sex, maybe she could think about it now.

[Mike]

It's a weird thing in general.

[Pat]

It's a weird thing, but it just, like. It's also like. Like, for everything. I'm just like. I hate questions like that. Are you the best girlfriend I ever.

[Mike]

Or just, like, the most expensive gift you've ever received?

[Pat]

Yeah, that's dumb.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's dumb. I like that one. I think somebody would tell you too.

[Pat]

Yes. Right off the rip.

[Mike]

And you would know. Like, you would. She would still have that gift if it was expensive.

[Pat]

Yeah. And if you buy a girl some dunks and she say that it's time to leave, nobody ever gave her but you. That is one of the worst feelings in the world. Like giving a woman a simple gift and then realizing she's never received that gift, and you're like, at a bigger age.

[Mike]

That's not that bad. I would feel more.

[Carrie]

You upgraded her life.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

For flowers. What the. These hate you that bad?

[Carrie]

It's been a while.

[Pat]

You come with a roll, she start busting all crap. I don't like that, though. The club roles, they be, like, praying on people. Like, they see.

[Mike]

What would you define as the club rose?

[Carrie]

So you be at the club, and it's this dude who will walk around with, like, roses, and he'll go up to a couple, like, hey, do you want to buy her a rose? You know, your lady a rose? And then now he's pressured to be like, yes or no. And it's like, the rose. They're okay. That just happened to me. I went to a restaurant, literally just on Saturday, and this guy, he had a bunch of roses. He was like, oh, would you like to get your lovely, you know, girlfriend. Fiance a rose? And I said, oh, no, thank you. Like, we're fine. Cause I'm not gonna do nothing with it. And he got so offended. He said, what? I was like, no, we're fine. He was like, like, oh, okay. And he just walked off. But they get really mad if you don't want that. That rose.

[Mike]

Your fiance back from his vacation?

[Carrie]

Yes, he is.

[Mike]

Did he enjoy it?

[Carrie]

Yeah, he had A good time.

[Pat]

Did you check his balls Empty?

[Carrie]

I will say they saw your. The episode where you let me kindly know what the heck was going on

[Pat]

over there in Cancun.

[Carrie]

And. And they put it in the group chat and everybody was just kikiing and laughing it up like, oh, with the dead face emojis and everything. And I'm just confused because I'm like, what's so funny? Is it true or is it not true? What are we kiki about?

[Mike]

They should have been like, nah. What would they even say some shit like that.

[Carrie]

No, they were cracking up.

[Pat]

It was just like.

[Carrie]

You had to scroll through all of the laughing emojis.

[Pat]

That's genuine. That mean they really wasn't doing nothing?

[Caller 3]

No, no.

[Pat]

Because if they came with, like, real excuses, like, no, them.

[Mike]

No. Yeah.

[Pat]

Not as a red flag, but they laughing about.

[Mike]

No. They got defensive from that. That means it definitely was like, bro. Cuz you would feel like, wait, why he. Why. Why you putting up blast, though, bro?

[Pat]

Code N. Pillow talking. My girl. You not going up there no more with them. That. It's wild.

[Carrie]

No, they did have a good time, for sure.

[Pat]

It's certain things in a relationship that would piss me off. And, like, one of the things is bringing something to me that a random person said that actually, like, affects our household.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

You know what I mean? It's just like, oh, hey, I was talking to Jared today, and he was, like, wondering, like, about your trip. I said, you talking about Jared from work?

[Caller 1]

The.

[Pat]

That's about to get slapped.

[Carrie]

Her work husband. Yeah.

[Pat]

You know, like, what the fuck is going on? Like, why are. Like, why are random people, like, influencing you? Or, like, why are you letting, like, a random post or TikTok.

[Carrie]

I was just about to ask y', all, how do y' all feel about, like, your girl coming to you with something that's going on that she saw on Instagram or TikTok? Like, oh, what do you think of this? Like, does this remind you of us? Or why don't you do this for me? You know? Does that make you mad?

[Pat]

No, no, no, that doesn't happen. That don't happen to me.

[Carrie]

Isn't that a t?

[Pat]

I'm not gonna lie. Like, I'm pretty. I feel like I'm pretty romantic. I feel like I can't be, like, come on now. These are sorry. Like, some of these are sorry. Like, somebody. Like, when they be describing dates. Like, me and Mike, we have, like, friends, like, mutual friends, so he know who I'm talking about. Like, they'll be Describing a date. And they just be like, the date went bad. And they'd be blaming a girl. Like, oh, she bougie as hell. And they just like, bro, she drove herself to the date, y'.

[Mike]

All.

[Pat]

Y' all went to go grab tacos, you damn near split the check. She damn near tipped you. You.

[Caller 3]

You.

[Pat]

You tried to get her back to come to your place when she didn't want to. You didn't have a secondary date, no ice cream, no nothing. And then you mad cause she not texting back like this.

[Mike]

The.

[Pat]

The bar is really low. Like, if you get.

[Mike]

The bar is very low.

[Pat]

Like, if you do flowers and pickup, like, the girl might cry in the car. She might text a group chat and be like, I found my husband.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, I don't run into that problem. Because, like, the bar is low out in this. Like, I'm not gonna lie. Like, it's low as hell. Hell, like, Tiger woods out here. You over here calling your girl like, man, I got a flat tire. She's like, that's nothing. I used to date Tiger Woods. They get flipped over the car.

[Mike]

Tiger woods is like, he's meme central, too. And anybody like you shouldn't be, they said he. He blows. He blew a.00. Whatever. Like, he didn't. It was not alcohol, so it might have been pills again or something like that. Allegedly.

[Pat]

Y' all see me right now, I would blow a.00. And you tell me if I'm sober or not,

[Mike]

but no. Cuz that people do get affected by that. So that is, like, reckless as hell to be, like, irresponsible to be that, especially that rich and to get in those type of accidents and then being under the influence, allegedly. If he wasn't. Or was it not. Or was not. But he is. He is a meme God, though.

[Pat]

No, he a meme God. But also going back to, like, if someone dated Tiger woods and, like, I was the. The quote, unquote, next person to date that person. I would not date that person. Once I find out about their ex, it's just, like, certain. Like, damn, this dude damaged you a little bit too much. You know what I'm saying? Like, you ever.

[Carrie]

Like you said, I'm not sticking through this.

[Mike]

You're not trying to see it through, bro.

[Pat]

No, I. I'm telling you. Like, women and men, like, bro, it's okay to stop talking to somebody if they bring too much to the table. Like, they could be perfect for you.

[Mike]

Like, like too much for you. Everybody has their limit, right?

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying, you know what I'm saying? I'm saying them situation they got got a girl you talking. But I'm just saying, like, that's. That's part of like, somebody brings you too much anxiety because of, like a past relationship. Like, if you a dude or a woman that feels like, oh, my person is too insecure and it kind of makes my life weird. You know what I mean?

[Mike]

Like, but there's certain situations where there they might be damaged from their last relationship in any type of way. And through being together for a while, you doing the right things that can then disappear.

[Pat]

It ain't my fault. No, that because, like, because you just.

[Mike]

You might be ending things prematurely.

[Pat]

Then why am I answering, like, okay, if I go from this side of the street to this side of the street and I'm out with the guys, like, why do I have to, like, write a paragraph craft? Because the last that did it had a family. You know what I'm saying? I don't have a family.

[Mike]

But that might be something she's used to that she can get to. Used to.

[Pat]

No, no, I get that there's. There's definitely stuff you can work through everybody, like, no, I'm bringing baggage too, you know, on the other side. But I think it's how quickly you adapt. And if a person can't see you as a new person, then they need to take some time to be single.

[Carrie]

Like, if it's. If it's mistakes and things happening back to back to back, like multiple times through the week. Week. It's plenty miscommunications. Because I'm saying something wrong that you didn't want me to say it in a certain way, and it's just all that trauma, then, yeah, you might have to, like, dip out of that. You might have to dip out.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying. Like, all that. Like, it's a mistake, bro. Like, I'm a little strict, but yeah, like, okay, I'm a lot of strict, but like, when somebody keeps making a lot of strict. When people keep making mistakes, like, like little small mistakes and like, like that, like, oh, we had a date today. It's like, that's a big.

[Mike]

That's a big mistake. I don't think I'll ever forget a date, bro. I just.

[Pat]

I just had a conversation with somebody that said they set a date, like, with the woman, and they confirmed. And then they had never talked about a place, but they talked about the time in the day and a person, the dude text a girl, the Place like an hour before. And like, obviously we live in a small ass city, so it's like nothing to travel babble. And the girl was smiling like, oh, I ain't know. We was talking about there. I'm doing my hair right now and I'm just like, bruh, that's essentially missing the date. Yeah, I know you was talking about there. Like, what the. Like, well, you think, what you think? We live in California.

[Carrie]

She was doing her hair.

[Mike]

Yeah. The thing, the only events I sometimes forget is like, if it's an event that me and my girl are going to of like somebody else's like. And I don't put it on my calendar, but she has it on her calendar, then I'll like. Because I already know, like, one of us gonna have it on our calendar.

[Pat]

That's not a date, though.

[Mike]

No, I'm saying in other date situations, like where I would forget to go somewhere, I wouldn't. I wouldn't forget. I don't think I would forget a date.

[Pat]

Have you ever stood up somebody or been stood up for a date?

[Mike]

No, never been stood up. But I've like created a scenario that happened. That's why I couldn't go on the date.

[Pat]

Let's hear it.

[Mike]

It was not just like a. A very simple, like, car got a flat tire or like, oh, you ain't okay. Not. That's. That was extreme. Like something came up. Especially like being an entrepreneur. Being an entrepreneur for like I would say six, seven years now. It's like anything can always come up. So I can, I can, I can say I have anything going on.

[Pat]

Yeah, I don't want to go to exactly.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

Maybe not dates with people, but if it's an event.

[Mike]

But that's just like. It's not like something I've done like millions of times. It's like one or two times.

[Pat]

I think the only, like.

[Mike]

And it's just like one of those things where it's like maybe not the. I didn't cancel a date that I already said, like, I'm going to commit to. It was more of like I felt like the person was asking me on a date and then I kind of came up with excuse not to be mean. In a sense, that's.

[Carrie]

Why do we think that just being firm is mean? Like just saying, no, I don't want to.

[Mike]

I think it's like if somebody told me that I would take it, I was like. Like, if I was dating or trying to date someone and I try to take her out and they told me that I Was like, okay, that's, that's fair. I feel like coming from me, I. It just seems a little bit more hard. I don't like hurting people's feelings.

[Pat]

It's just, it's also out the norm. Like we, I think almost even like some of the worst people in the world are people pleasers.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So it's like nobody says anything anymore and like that. So like when someone does like is firm. Like the more foreign people I hang out with, those are like like the firmest people you're going to be around. Because they don't. I feel like it's more of an American thing to kind of beat around the bush.

[Mike]

It is.

[Pat]

A foreigner would be like, yo, bro, we don't want you to come to this party.

[Mike]

You know what I mean? My girlfriend, straight up, my girl's from Sweden. She's very direct. So sometimes even like I had to get used to that sometime cuz it'd be something she said. I'm like, wait, why? But I have to learn that she doesn't mean it in that way. Like she's not trying to be mean, she's just being honest. She don't beat around the, the bush. But like if it's like, it just feels like we're being. I'm being mean. If I'm like turning somebody down. Because I also just feel that if a girl asked me on a date and I like came up with excuse, and I came up with excuse maybe twice and the date didn't happen, I feel like most girls kind of pick up on that because women are really good. They kind of pick up on it. And just like there's some people that, like, there's some people that don't really get the.

[Pat]

They don't give a.

[Mike]

They don't give a. Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

There's like. Because there's women, like we go to shows and like we're obviously like both publicly talking about our girlfriends. Some of the women at the shows don't give a no. They're like, your girlfriend got her back turned. What's up?

[Carrie]

You know what's so interesting? I was telling my fiance, like, I got to get you a engagement ban or something like that. He's like, what, you want more women to hit on me? Because I guess that's what women, they be hitting on married men. Engagement in relationships.

[Pat]

I'm telling. It's. It's not all women. Women obviously, like some like women are trying to like get their own. But there's some women out here that are attracted to something that somebody wants.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You know what I mean? It's just like, oh, somebody wants you.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And like, I feel like marriage and engagement means like house car got his together. And like, the last dude she talked to had a Pontiac grand in with 200, 000. And they gotta stop on the highway every 50 miles is overheating.

[Carrie]

Right.

[Pat]

Just take your time. Just let it cool down. What's your favorite color, though?

[Carrie]

It definitely takes the work out of it all because it's like, oh, he said already.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

Like bet.

[Pat]

And they kind of know. And it's. I feel like it's kind of a game to them because probably in their head at that lifetime, if they're even attracted to a married man, it had to be some type of trauma that led them off the path of true love. So they just like, all man ain't let me prove it while also having some fun.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And it's a competition.

[Pat]

And yeah, it's a competition. Especially if they looking you up. And I feel like it's even worse when the woman feel like the. The married woman, the cheating woman feels like the married woman has like a great life, like, that she's doing something. So now it's like I'm taking her from something that's like, that looks very good.

[Carrie]

Yeah. I don't see a lot of men do that on the opposite end. Like, are men attracted to married women or will they kind of back off?

[Pat]

Men are attracted to with it. Anything. I'm not gonna lie. Like, there's like. That's why I always say, like. Like there could be a woman that walks into a room of ten single guys, right. And say, hey, I'm married. Right. And then continue to talk to those 10 guys and just pick one and just play, hey, do you want to go home with me? I would say like, 8 out of 10 of those guys would go home with her. And then the other 2 out of 10 would just need more confirmation.

[Mike]

Like, it's.

[Pat]

It's rare that like, a woman being married was a man would be like, hell no, you married. Unless they. Unless they baby daddy is like, like UFC fighter or boxer or something like that. If there's like, another thing that they can get into, maybe. But like, women, I feel like it's. It's kind of the opposite. But those two. Those two that will do it, they doing it.

[Mike]

I saw a post on Facebook and it was a woman accidentally sent $4,000 on Apple Pay to the wrong person and offered the person $1000 to get. Just to get 3k back, back, and the person still didn't send it. And there was, like. I was trying to, like, see if it was real, but then I actually saw the woman in, like, the comments, like, saying she gonna, like, file a police report, and, like, just, like, showing the text thread. Would you have sent the money back?

[Pat]

I would have sent all the money back. And I just feel like there's just bad karma.

[Mike]

It is back home. I might have took her up on an offer, though.

[Pat]

Yeah, I definitely would.

[Mike]

Like, she made the offer before, like, throwing the text thread. She, like, made that offer, like, before I made the mistake. I don't know how. That's why I don't really think it's true. Because just, like, who. Who can make that type of mistake to send the money to the wrong person?

[Carrie]

It happens way more than you, really.

[Mike]

Okay, I understand. Maybe a hundred dollars, but, like, 4,000. I feel like I'm, like, triple checking. Like, why am I not selling this person?

[Pat]

We don't know. We just had somebody on the podcast that gave a dude $21,000 for his camera equipment. Oh, it's on this podcast?

[Mike]

Yeah. This probably just happened.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It gave him $21,010 so he can get a bunch of camera equipment. They broke up. He's only since paid her back $300. And then on top of it, we're like, okay, that's crazy. He got to pay you back. So you just think, oh, this dude ain't paying her back. And his car got repo, and she went and gave this another 300 to get his car out.

[Carrie]

She's silly.

[Pat]

No, she. She's very silly. And she kept trying to, like, buy me. I was like, she crazy as hell. She's like, you cute enough, I'll buy you. She ready to spend again, fellas?

[Mike]

Anyway, that's been the pod. Appreciate. Y'. All remember Crash Dummies merch.com Crash Dummieslive.com Carrie, shout out your stuff again.

[Caller 2]

Yes.

[Carrie]

Make sure you guys tap into Brain Squeeze podcast. I feel crazy shouting out a podcast on a podcast.

[Mike]

But, like. But, like, we like to. Her stuff is in the description, so

[Carrie]

we like to go tap into it Monday through Friday and follow me on Instagram. You post every day Monday through Friday? Yes. Jeez.

[Pat]

Come on, now. Come on now, ladies.

[Mike]

That's work. All right, y'. All. Peace.