Go Get A Cup - Episode 240

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast – Episode 240 "Go Get A Cup"

Release Date: January 7, 2026
Hosts: Patrick Johnson (Pat), Michael Esiobu (Mike)
Guests/Regulars: Jean, Gene and various callers

---

Overview

In Episode 240, the Crash Dummies crew—Pat, Mike, Jean, and Gene—kick off the year with their signature blend of humor, irreverence, and social commentary. The episode features candid reflections about their recent live show, hilarious stories about relationships, and wide-ranging listener call-ins covering everything from cheating philosophies to voodoo fears. The guys share both genuine advice and tongue-in-cheek takes on self-improvement, online culture, and the fearsome rise of AI mischief. At the heart of the episode is the question: What wild stories and unfiltered truths can come out when you just "go get a cup" and talk with friends (and a few hundred listeners)?

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Giving Advice vs. Taking It (00:00–01:26)

• Pat shares the irony of being sought for advice due to weight loss success—even though he rarely follows all the advice himself.
  • “I give good advice, though. I damn near don't use, like, half the advice I give out…” — Pat (00:49)
• Mike and Pat joke about “the three, two, one rule” for better sleep but admit to regularly breaking it.

2. Recapping the Live Show (03:00–08:21)

• The hosts recall highlights from their recent live show; notable for crowd diversity, energetic participation, and oddball encounters.
  • First experience with a heckler—from DMV, “just aggressive, but a good dude.” (04:03)
• Standout audience members:
  • The “autistic bus driver” who “wouldn't shut up about it.” (04:42)
  • Drunk fans and awkward physical encounters (“our cheeks touched”), leading to group reflections on how to handle enthusiastic but socially awkward listeners. (05:26)

3. Listener Call-Ins: Relationship Disasters and Hot Takes (22:02–50:47, interspersed)

Cheating and Trust Issues

• Callers reflect on betrayals, like finding out a girlfriend cheated…with her “gay best friend,” only for him to later come out as gay. (22:14–29:07)
• Others debate, tongue-in-cheek, whether mutual cheating can “cancel out” in the talking phase. (“…if two people are talking or together…and they're equally cheating on each other, then it's fair.” — Caller E, 30:51)
  • “If one person's cheating a little more, that's when it becomes, like, bad.” (31:07)

Dating in the Modern World

• Hilarious and raw discussions about DMs, cash apps, and transactional “what you doing?” texts:
  • “If the price is right… I am being me.” — Caller N, riffing on texting, dating, and paying for attention (41:16–44:11)

Friendship, Snitching & Vulnerability

• Several stories about being “snitched on” by friends, particularly in college situationships.
  • “Anybody who rat on me. Worst enemy.” — Caller J (54:26)
  • Caller H talks about losing a childhood friend over personal/political differences—and the struggles with dating amid “red flags.”

4. Parental Food Norms and Overeating (09:17–10:44)

• Pat discusses how being raised to “finish your plate” can lead to adult overeating, contrasting with Mike’s experience faking “eaten portions” to avoid bad-tasting meals.

5. Online Culture, AI, and Misinformation (15:02–22:00; 85:32–89:40)

• Rising dangers of AI manipulation on social media (e.g., Twitter/X’s Grok making fake, sometimes NSFW images).
  • Mike: “That’s where it gets, like, that is getting a little scary, man.” (15:52)
• Satire of “engagement farming” and performative trolling by verified accounts.
  • “Everybody’s trolling now.” — Pat (87:51)
  • “Legit engagement farming… for views on purpose.” — Mike (88:16)
• Calls for more responsible regulation around image editing.

6. Drinking Culture, Peer Pressure, and Deception (10:44–12:11)

• Anecdotes about fake-shot-taking: peer pressure to drink, strategies for “appearing drunk” without overindulging, and the social dynamics that come with group events.

7. Social Codes: Paying For Dinner (17:14–19:54)

• Debate on etiquette: What to order when someone else is paying?
  • “If you offering, you offering!” — Pat (18:25)
  • Mike emphasizes matching the generosity but not overstepping with extravagant orders.

8. Slang, Judgment, and Humility (20:13–21:00)

• Playful wrestling with group judgment, humor’s line with “bad juju,” and the universal tendency to want to get jokes off—but not attract karma.
  • “We want to get our jokes off so bad, but we also don't want the bad juju that comes with it.” — Mike (21:04)

9. Listener Wildcard Topics

• Weird kinks (“I like sex with the woman. Clothes on or partially on.” — Caller F, 68:15)
• Michael Jackson's “Thriller” is about crack (a conspiracy theory caller, 71:53–73:54)
• Dirty Mac’ing (talking down another guy to win someone over) is “a love language,” according to one returning caller with a famously “sexual” voice. (78:29–80:48)
• Would you rather work your first job forever or marry your ex?
  • A caller would marry his ex: “She was my best eater.”
  • Why the breakup? “I went to jail.” “Alleged possession with intent to distribute.” (75:12; 75:36)

10. Career & Friendship Advice

• The importance of “lying to your coworkers” and not oversharing at work.
  • “I cannot stress enough how important it is to lie to your coworkers.” — Pat (92:15)
• Not trusting colleagues or acquaintances with too much personal information because of gossip and how it can backfire.

11. Witchcraft & DNA Paranoia (99:49–102:21)

• Joking about “witches” and voodoo dolls—how to protect yourself (don’t leave your hair/napkins, etc).
• “Thank God. Like, if. If I ever offended you and you're a witch, I am sorry…” — Pat (100:11)
• Strategies for avoiding magical retribution: “Make sure you cover your head…”

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Pat on Advice:
“I damn near don't use, like, half the advice I give out…” (00:49)

On Being an ‘Advice Guy’: “It's 1:00am and I'm eating chips and shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm just fasting, brother.” — Pat (00:31)

Live Show Reflection:
“It was dope to meet some of y' all in person… that nigga has an unidentifiable age.” — Pat (03:04)

On the Bus Driver:
“We had a bus driver who drives autistic kids, but he kept saying, ‘I'm an autistic bus driver.’ And he wouldn't shut up about it.” — Pat and Jean (04:42)

Interaction with an Awkward Drunk Fan:
“There was one guy that was really drunk there, right? ...our cheeks touched like on our face.” — Mike (05:26)

On ‘What You Doing?’ Texts:
“I cannot stand getting a text... just to say, what you doing? At this point, I just been saying some out of pocket shit when they asked me that.” — Caller N (39:11)

On AI Image Editing:
“But that Grok shit is getting dangerous…” — Pat (15:02)
“That's where it gets, like, that is getting a little scary, man.” — Mike (15:52)

Relationship Callers:
“If someone is paying for your dinner, should your order cost less than theirs?” — Pat (17:15)

On Cheating Math:
“If two people are talking…and they're equally cheating on each other, then it's fair. But if one person's cheating a little more, that’s when it becomes, like, bad.” — Caller E (30:51–31:07)

On Overeating & Family Trauma:
“I realize, like, my brain tells me to finish everything... if I have something in my house, like some chips... I'm learning not to put [it] in my house...” — Pat (09:27)

On Social Media Culture:
“Everybody's trolling now… Legit engagement farming... for views on purpose.” — Pat and Mike (87:51–88:16)

Pat on Trust at Work:
“I cannot stress enough how important it is to lie to your coworkers.” (92:15)
“Especially your significant other info—keep that close.” (93:16)

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–01:26: Advice hypocrisy & weight loss stories
• 03:00–08:21: Live show recap & funny encounters
• 15:02–16:30: Dangers and misuses of AI image editing (Grok)
• 22:14–29:36: Major relationship call-in: betrayal by “gay best friend”
• 30:51–34:58: Debating ‘equal cheating’ and talking stages
• 39:11–44:11: “What you doing?” texts and transactional dating
• 68:15–71:00: Unusual kinks: “clothes-on sex”
• 71:53–73:54: Caller theory: Michael Jackson's "Thriller" is about crack
• 78:29–80:48: Dirty Mac'ing (talking down the competition) as a strategy
• 92:15–95:46: Lying to coworkers, oversharing, and the perils of work gossip
• 99:49–102:08: Witchcraft, voodoo dolls, and protecting your DNA from spiritual theft

---

Additional Highlights

• Listener Engagement:
  • Several callers express appreciation for the pod, some referencing being fans since episode 1 or for three years (59:43–59:55, 61:15, etc.)
• Inside Jokes: Regular callbacks to pod history (“CTE boys”) and playful roasting within the group.

---

Tone & Language

• Unfiltered and humorous, with quick, sarcastic banter.
• Relatable vulnerability mixed with bravado—self-mockery and mutual teasing abound.
• Candid language: swearing, explicit relationship talk, and modern slang.

---

Conclusion

Episode 240 is classic Crash Dummies: real-life stories, wild hypotheticals, and hilarious group dynamics. Between serious relationship fails, live show shenanigans, and riffs on AI and social media, Pat and Mike (with the help of Jean and Gene) remind listeners that no topic is off-limits, every call-in is welcome, and sometimes all you need is to “go get a cup” and hear people out—even if it’s just for the jokes.

---

[For full calls and tangents, listen to the episode or check the Patreon for live show content.]

Transcript

[Pat]

I realize when you accomplish something that other people can see that they find hard to accomplish, they listen to you.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And they listen to everything you have to say about it. And they never actually check if you did it the right way. I've lost weight, and people actually come to me for weight loss advice. And sometimes, like, I'll give them advice. That's really good advice, but I don't do that shit. I'm like, hey, man, you ever heard of the three, two, one rule? They like, what's that? I'm like, no eating three hours before bed. No drinking water two hours before bed. And no phone one hour before bed. And like, it's 1:00am And I'm eating chips and shit. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm just fasting, brother.

[Jean]

I just shooting in the dark here.

[Mike]

Increase activities.

[Pat]

But I give good advice, though. I damn near don't use, like, half the advice I give out, but I

[Jean]

try to be like, maybe I could trick this nigga into losing weight, see if it works.

[Pat]

Listen, man, no more women, bro. Just be by yourself.

[Mike]

That's like the boxer thing. When boxers say they don't, they don't have sex before their fights and like that. Even though the science says, like, if you have sex the day before, you have a little more.

[Pat]

What's the. What's the latest? You've had sex before a fight?

[Mike]

I feel like the day of is kind of like bad luck. Or the day before, regardless, like, I feel like you should be saving your legs now.

[Pat]

That's crazy. That's good. You ain't got a toxic girlfriend, though.

[Mike]

No.

[Pat]

Yeah, cuz that be some toxic.

[Jean]

Like, there you go. Not giving it out, cuz you got

[Gene]

a little box for me to fight for.

[Pat]

But you will fight another but won't fight this.

[Jean]

What you talking about?

[Mike]

Anyway, welcome to Crash Dummies episode. What episode is this? 240. 240 episode 240. Mike here. We got Pat, we got Jean here Patreon. Make sure y' all subscribe to the Patreon. Also subscribe to YouTube. I keep. I feel like we never tell people to subscribe.

[Pat]

We don't. And, like, it's funny how much a call to action actually works. Yeah, like, subscribe to YouTube. Comment on YouTube. Go ahead.

[Mike]

Go ahead. What was I gonna say? Oh, yeah, I decided to extend the half off Patreon. First month. So you get your first month half off, I think. I think till like, March or something. I think I was just saying how far out they let me do it. And I just picked a random day, so you got to march.

[Pat]

I love when I find out the same time as y', all, what the is this talking about? Said I decided to escape. I didn't know that's how I'd be telling information. They'd be like, nah, man. I got half off again. I'm like, how the you did that?

[Gene]

He said that like it was a campaign, you know?

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I decided the president. This host over here.

[Mike]

We did. We did today. Live show. The live show will be posted on Patreon, most likely, so. Or bits and pieces from it, too. Most likely the whole thing. So if you all want to check that out, go to Patreon. I don't even know I crashed on his name, but just go to our blinking bio.

[Pat]

Appreciate y'.

[Gene]

All.

[Pat]

That popped out to the live show.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Pat]

Man, that. That was crazy.

[Mike]

It was amazing.

[Pat]

It was dope to meet some of y' all in person. We met the Chile dude. The Chile dude from the Hasan Piker episode. We met him like, real life. And, like, that nigga has an unidentifiable age. Like, there was a dude there.

[Mike]

See why he said chile?

[Gene]

That.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Caller E]

It makes.

[Pat]

No, that makes sense. But it was a dude there. He brought. I think it was his nephew. And I had already asked his nephew how old he was.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because of, like, his birthday or whatever. And the dude was like, oh, yeah, I'm 32. And then he was like. He used to carry me around when I was a baby.

[Jean]

And I looked at dude, and I said, how old is you?

[Pat]

He was like, what, 36? I'm like, Bro, you lying?

[Jean]

He said.

[Pat]

And then he just started backing away. So, dude, 50.

[Mike]

But no, the live show was super dope, man. It was dope scene. I think we have a. Probably one of the most diverse crowds, man, ever.

[Pat]

It looked like a, um, meeting.

[Mike]

Yeah, it was like. It was. It was dope. It was dope. Like, doing the podcast live, we had our first heckler. Oh, yeah. We had a heckler at the end.

[Pat]

Yeah, it was heckler. He ended up being, like, a good dude. He just aggressive. He won dmv. We thought he was heckling, but that's how they get down over. Yeah, he had on Penny Hardaways, too.

[Mike]

Yeah. What was your takeaway from the story?

[Pat]

My takeaway was great crowd interaction. For those that are going to come out to the show. We do involve the crowd. I thought the crowd did a good job of, like, learning when to be respectful to us and, like, quiet down. So we can get some talking off. And then they also were self deprecating enough to, you know, let us inside their life and tell us what they do for a living. We had a bus driver who drives autistic kids, but he kept saying, I'm an autistic bus driver.

[Jean]

So it's like. And he wouldn't shut up about it.

[Mike]

So like, he said it like four times. Yeah, yeah, our girl saying that. He said like twice before we actually heard him.

[Pat]

He called me in the parking lot, him and his girl. He's like, pat, can I get a picture? They from the south side of Chicago. Shout out to south side of Chicago. Show love. Chicago as a whole came out but was in the parking lot. He took a picture and I took the picture and I like, oh, dope. And then I sitting on a story and the caption was, pat, the wrong with you. There was audio listeners, but it's cool. I appreciate it. What about you, G? How you feel?

[Gene]

The show was dope, man. It was good to see the people. You know, I got to kind of see everybody before you guys got on stage and stuff like that. So I got to meet a few people, you know what I'm saying? Shout out to them.

[Caller F]

What.

[Caller G]

What was.

[Pat]

What would you say was your weirdest interaction?

[Mike]

There was one guy that was really drunk there, right? And like he came in for a dap, right? You know, normal dap, right? And then. But it was like our cheeks touched like on our face. On our face, on our face.

[Pat]

I know what you talking about. That got me too.

[Mike]

I was like. But he was kind of tipsy though, so I thought it was an accident. So after we took the picture and first of all, he held our. Held our. Our merch up. Like we're doing like. Like a Jersey exchange.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jean]

When we took the pictures, he was holding our up.

[Pat]

But the up part about his. I think his wife was telling me that he barely gets out the house and he loves us, so she forced him to do that. And that just goes back to the point, like you either gonna have a good time or a bad time when you bring somebody out that never go out.

[Jean]

Like

[Mike]

after we took the picture, he went in for another, you know, like a. The, you know, the beginning is the beginning dap and the goodbye dad. He went in for the goodbye dap and our cheeks touched again.

[Gene]

That's crazy. I was. I was hearing you guys talk about this and I'm like thinking about my weirdest experience, you know, at the show and I started to hear common. Commonality I think it was the same dude.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Gene]

He started rubbing my back.

[Jean]

He whispered in my ear.

[Gene]

No, but he. With the podcast.

[Jean]

Hey, that's he the last that's gonna do that. I tell you that

[Pat]

we saying that to say don't do that. Shout out to him though. You know he was drunk first show and like that.

[Gene]

Yeah, shout out to everybody who pre game too.

[Caller H]

Man.

[Gene]

They got in there, it was lit.

[Pat]

Oh was it pulled up lit?

[Caller I]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I guess that's the only part we really didn't see.

[Mike]

Yeah. That we didn't see that. Yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, that's dope. That's dope.

[Gene]

It was making sure it was well fed.

[Pat]

Okay. Happy. Okay. This is from Helena wishing her boyfriend Alex a happy birthday.

[Mike]

Alex, happy birthday. Yeah, did I get a DM too?

[Pat]

Happy birthday, Alex.

[Jean]

He.

[Pat]

He's in the army and he finds. He flies a black helicopter. Was a Blackhawk.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

So he pretty important. So safe travels over there. Get ready in that household.

[Mike]

That boy just came back from Venezuela.

[Jean]

You want to do it, man?

[Mike]

Oh, what else? I think. Was there anything else I want? Oh yeah. Live shows. We're going to be going on a tour this year. Obviously we're going to do some more cities so definitely comment what cities we should come to. I'm going to start making a little email sign up sheet so you guys sign up. Hopefully I'll do it by the time this is out or you just check out this week. You guys fill in your email name just so you guys get notified too when the live show tickets go on sale because this Chicago one, it sold out super quick and there was so many. They want us to do a second show and there were so many people requesting the second social when we announced things. Don't wait to the last minute. Just do it. You can always, you probably can refunds find somebody else to sell it down the line if you can't make it and stuff like that. So.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. And it's also probably going to be like that. Like we don't. We can't really gauge what we can sell out. Like we can't just guess that we about to go to a 2000 person venue. So all these first ones are definitely going to sell out fast. So I don't want to see no dms, nothing. So no, you gotta get me in,

[Jean]

get me in the back and do and do.

[Mike]

What was your favorite day of the year?

[Pat]

Oh yeah. Yeah. Happy January 6th. I know y' all throwing something on the grill. Some of our listeners actually do they

[Jean]

celebrate that day because they kind of got.

[Mike]

They do.

[Pat]

They kind of lost, I think, right?

[Mike]

Yeah, they did lose, didn't they lose? I would think. I would think so.

[Pat]

Right.

[Mike]

You know, I think down the line now, since a lot of them got acquitted and by Trump and stuff like that. So somebody.

[Pat]

Somebody got acquitted for life.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah,

[Jean]

yeah. Damn. That's the biggest judgment you can get.

[Pat]

Oh, another thing about my weight loss journey. Tell me, did y' all grow up like this, where you were forced to finish your food before you get up from the table?

[Mike]

Yeah, in a sense.

[Pat]

I feel like that's. That trauma kind of affects people that end up overeating. Because I realize, like, my brain tells me to finish everything.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Especially when it comes to food. And I realize if I have something in my house, like some chips, if I buy a big bag of chips, I'm not gonna eat those chips in the 12 chips for 140 calorie area. So just like, I'm gonna go at these chips. So I'm learning not to put in my house that I would eat all of it.

[Mike]

I feel like when my dad cooks. Some of my dad's dishes growing up weren't the greatest. And so I'm just saying, though, my mom was like. It's just especially like my parents split, you really start to notice the difference in, like, the quality of food. My mom's just a really good cook, and she made really good, like, Nigerian dishes and stuff like that. So when my dad tries to make like the Nigerian dishes, sometimes it's like, you know, don't tell him that I said this either. But he.

[Pat]

If he heard this. Somebody ratted on you?

[Mike]

No, Exactly. That's some in depth writing because my dad don't even listen to the pop.

[Pat]

Exactly.

[Mike]

But I would, like move, like, say it's just like something like mashed potatoes and like that. I would just make everything look smaller on my plate to make it seem like it was only a little left. I just make it skinnier in a sense.

[Pat]

No, I get what you did. Playing with your food. No, did that in my house. So you might have died.

[Mike]

We threw a. A mixer after the pod too. I was. I was taking a lot of fake shots. I'm not gonna lie. Shots.

[Gene]

Throwing them over the shoulder.

[Mike]

No, it got bad because there's one person, one of my friends shout out to you, bro. But he. He watched this, like, get the shot. I had like a little thing of tequila left, so I was. I was taking the shot. I mean, of margarita left. I took the shot. And then Everybody turned around. I pretend I'm chasing with my. My margarita. I just backwashed right now.

[Pat]

That's smart.

[Mike]

As I was already done drinking, so I was like, I'm not gonna drink this anyway. So somebody actually drinks that.

[Pat]

I feel like everybody. Everybody was paying attention to me. Like, I didn't know people take that serious.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

It was like, bro, come get a shot. And usually, like, when I'm out at a club, people actually like when you turn down shots, especially if they offered it to you, they really don't want to buy the.

[Gene]

They don't pay for it.

[Pat]

Everybody there, they was like, they wouldn't let me go. They like, nah, bro, come over here, take a shot, bro.

[Jean]

Do I got a choice? Like, what the.

[Pat]

Somebody watched me literally follow my cup to my mouth.

[Mike]

Was like, follow my cup to my mouth. It's crazy.

[Jean]

How's that crazy?

[Mike]

I don't know.

[Pat]

No, that's so crazy, bro.

[Mike]

I saw somebody use the word. You know, like, how dudes have, like, Eskimo brothers, right? For the. For the girls. They called it dick sisters. Oh, I thought that was really unique.

[Pat]

That's not creative.

[Gene]

Yeah, it's very direct.

[Mike]

You don't think I feel like dick sister sounds. That's.

[Caller J]

That's.

[Gene]

They couldn't do, like, igloo's sister or like a snowman.

[Mike]

But I think that would have been like, now they tired. Like, bite off the Eskimo.

[Pat]

I've never heard of that.

[Mike]

Why is called Eskimo brothers?

[Pat]

I don't know.

[Mike]

I wonder, like, what was the Eskimo people doing?

[Pat]

I mean, I guess, like, what if it wasn't that many women in a village? You know what I'm saying? And they like, look, man, y' all can be married for the first four years.

[Mike]

Brothers refer. Refers to two men who have. Okay. Stemming from the humorous and. Okay, why. Where did it come from, though? They tell me the definition. I was explaining the sitcom the. The League where characters suggested. It comes from the idea that cold Eskimo villages, men shared wives out of necessity. Okay. Kind of like what you're saying.

[Pat]

Yeah. Yeah, I figured. I was hoping that, like. No, man.

[Mike]

How does that conversation even happen?

[Pat]

What, like the passing on.

[Mike]

Yeah. I feel like we need to grow this village. I need to sleep with your. Your wife.

[Pat]

No, I feel like they was creating warriors, right? And they'd be like, oh, this dude right here, we gonna put him with her. And then it like, goes six years. And then the six year old they had, he ain't like, man, you created some Weak ass warriors.

[Jean]

Let one of these other niggas get

[Pat]

with my turn to create a warrior. I show you how to do it.

[Mike]

Or did. The ratio must have been way off crazy. It must be like 10 to 1.

[Pat]

10 to ones. Hey, somebody. Some people opted out of that.

[Jean]

I want that one to 10. Hey, hey, hey.

[Gene]

It started as like the first like hosta kind of vibe, you know, it's just like the. What they called it? They just called it Eskimo Brothers. It was just like one igloo in Alaska, you know what I'm saying? And that's where the whole village went to, you know,

[Pat]

they were just hunting. And since they done hunting, just walking

[Jean]

the igloo, everybody already like, I mean,

[Gene]

that's what it sounds like, you know.

[Mike]

And I feel like, you know, like animals, mammals in general, it's like reproduction is just in their genes to reproduce.

[Pat]

I mean, yeah, the further you go back, the more simple life got, right? Like, they wasn't even doing stuff for leisure, you know what I'm saying? But you probably die, bro. Everybody out in the woods hunting and. And they catch you on the side of woods playing a Nintendo Switch.

[Jean]

They probably cut your dick like the. Oh, I told you. Only hunting and all this player having

[Mike]

fun and the kids need to be born.

[Jean]

Not enough pregnant woman getting ready for

[Pat]

a rah rah rah. Then two people turn and give each other a fist bump.

[Jean]

What the is that? We don't do that. We don't do friends around this, bro. Huh? And your boys ain't gonna do it to each other to stay away from that. Like, yo,

[Pat]

no, you know what's getting bad right now on Twitter, which we already knew that AI can be used for bad things, right? And is. But that Grok shit is getting dangerous if you don't know what Grok is. Basically is like a AI system that Twitter set up that people can ask it a question about the post above and get the information from that post or what I'm finding out now even change the image of that post, right? It was like it was a dude. He posted a selfie in a hoodie jacket, like street wear, and basically was talking. And the person below didn't like what he was saying. So he commented and said, grock put this in a bikini.

[Jean]

And they put him in a bikini under his own picture. He. He ratio him with the likes. And I'm just like, bro, like, there's

[Mike]

some weirdos out there too be like, Grock post the. Make a picture with her with her clothes off and Stuff like that. Yeah, it's just like. That's where it gets, like, that is getting a little scary, man.

[Pat]

That getting so scary, bro. That getting so dangerous. They definitely got to put a cap on it to me.

[Mike]

To me. The same way they did with the Martin Luther King thing with Sora did when they say they stopped using. Yeah, I think they need to do that. They said, like, not even. Like, they're just like, you can't alter real pictures of people.

[Pat]

It has to be a suitable offense, especially if you do it, like, egregiously. Like when that person made the AI of Taylor Swift.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

It's just like, you got to watch out who got them lawyers. You never know. Put somebody in the air image, end up in court for the next year.

[Mike]

There was one you showed me that was funny, though. It's fucked up, but it's funny. It was the. The one dude I forgot was standing in the mirror, and then he said, put me. Put, like, how the bad bitches behind me or some shit. And it was all dudes. And they took off his clothes as well.

[Jean]

No, no, dude.

[Pat]

I think he had a. Like, a phone.

[Jean]

His head.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And he was like, put all bad bitches. They put him in, like, a. A woman's outfit and put, like, 10 big white dudes behind them.

[Jean]

And they had him holding the deal, though. That was like. Like. Like, I just, like, how do you defend that?

[Pat]

Like, what do you do after that? Okay, I got a question for y'. All.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

If someone is paying for your dinner, should your order cost less than theirs?

[Mike]

It all depends if it's like, oh, back then when it was a work dinner, and it was like, the person is like, a higher up or something like that. I'm getting whatever.

[Gene]

Not no limit, but, like, you know, you're gonna.

[Mike]

Yeah, I'm getting whatever like that. But friend to friend, if. Like, if. I know, like, me and Pat are going out, right? Or me and you're going out, one of us is gonna pay the bill. I don't think we ever really, like, split the build and like that. So.

[Gene]

I mean, I've been in awkward situations where the homies, like, you know, invite me out and shit. And then, like, you know, he says he's going to cover shit, you know, since I order my. My, you know, my food, and he orders his food. He ordered a drink. I'm like, oh, I order a drink, too.

[Caller K]

Yeah.

[Gene]

He's like, oh, you got a milkshake? Let me get the strawberry milkshake.

[Mike]

Yeah, I always try to match I always try to match what they're getting, though.

[Jean]

Like.

[Mike]

Like, I'm not. I don't think I'll ever order, like, $130 steak.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

On others, another person's bill for. I'll just save that for when I want to actually get it. But obviously the person owns the place. Then it's like, it is what it is.

[Pat]

If you offering. You offering? Yeah, that's the thing. It's like, how are you offering now? If you pick up something on a slide, like, we both in line at Chipotle and we going through the line, and I'm like, I got him, right? I don't need you walking back in line like, man, let me add a burrito to this. Like, no, the confirmed product.

[Jean]

I said, I got not no extra.

[Mike]

I think for me, I wouldn't mind food wise, right? I think where I start to, like, if I'm paying, where I start to get a little weary is like, if you keep, like, you get like 10 cocktails, it's like, all right, bro, this. What type of dinner is this right now that, you know, like, food is food. Like, you won't get full eventually, but

[Gene]

like, I had a homie in high school, we'll skip school and go grab some snacks and. And I told him I'd cover, you know, the snacks, and we was all, you know, headed back to the crib afterwards. So he was like, he. I felt like it was. I had to because he was like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna grab a gallon of milk for the crib type, you know, like, it was like a couple little things you needed for the crib.

[Mike]

And I was like, no. Buying your friends, like those 25 bags of chips back then, it felt like you're like El Chapo.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Giving your friend anything, especially if you brought it to school to let you. To let everybody know this my man's. Yeah, that's the biggest thing. Like splitting something down the middle. And everybody's seeing it. Like, you. You come to school late and you got the McDonald's. He's like, man, let me show everybody. This is my man's right down the midd, right? No, no, no, no, no. Don't take a piece of that. That whole thing, bro, and drop that.

[Mike]

Surprise us. And then cheers and hey, my matter

[Pat]

of fact, go get a cup.

[Jean]

Got you.

[Mike]

Yeah, the ice, you should give it a little shake to you.

[Jean]

The little ice jiggling and go get a cut. You get that half your napkins and

[Pat]

bro, no show the m on a napkin.

[Jean]

Let these know. That's McDonald's.

[Mike]

There's something that we both do.

[Pat]

Bro, this is the second time you've done this. This podcast.

[Mike]

We all do it.

[Pat]

Leave me out of it.

[Mike]

Okay. We. We. We judge people, right? A lot. And. But then we always leave the conversation, like, who are we to judge? Like, the universe is gonna be like, ah, okay. But it's like, it's almost like taking that bad juju away. I think you have to take the bad juju away. It's like a spiritual, like, undo button.

[Pat]

Yes. I always do that when I call somebody ugly, but it's somebody for everybody.

[Jean]

I could be ugly. I could be like.

[Pat]

Or I could be ugly, too.

[Mike]

The biggest one is there is. Or maybe it's just me. That's like the biggest way to get away from, like an insult.

[Jean]

Or.

[Pat]

Or you kind of like, it's not really self deprecating as you think, like, he ugly, but Beyonce probably think I'm ugly too.

[Jean]

Come on, man. That makes sense right there. Yeah.

[Mike]

It's like, we want to get our jokes off so bad, but we also don't want the bad juju that comes with it.

[Pat]

Yeah, because we're not.

[Mike]

Because especially, like, when we're talking out loud, it's like, we don't mean it from, like, it doesn't come from a place of hate or any type of prejudice. Right. Is legit. Just like, this nigga looks funny as hell. Like, I sent Pat a picture, right? One of our. So we went to college with. Right?

[Jean]

Turtle.

[Caller H]

Turtle.

[Mike]

And he's like, I'm trying to make it, but it was just a. It was just a funny picture. Yeah, he just looked funny in the picture. I mean, it's okay to laugh like that. Feeling like I'm like. Like I would say it to his face like, bro, you look funny as hell, you know?

[Pat]

Come on now. But that's an ugly nigga, though, you know? I know I'm ugly, but

[Jean]

come on now. Okay.

[Mike]

Yo.

[Caller L]

Hello. Can you guys hear me?

[Caller H]

Damn.

[Pat]

So we could try.

[Caller L]

Oh, there we go. Hello. Hello?

[Pat]

Yo, what's the difference?

[Mike]

Really couldn't hear.

[Caller L]

What's up?

[Pat]

What up? What up? Welcome to Crash News Podcast.

[Caller L]

Thank you. Thank you. Happy to be here.

[Pat]

Totally. All right, I got a question for you.

[Caller L]

What's the question?

[Pat]

I knew he's gonna do that. Who's the worst person you know? She just asked the question, who's the worst person you know and why,

[Caller L]

bro, my ex. She had a gay best friend, right? Well, by best friend, she cheated on me with Him. And then he figured out after I got cheated on that he was full. Just gay. Right. That you up, bro?

[Pat]

How did you find this out, bro?

[Caller L]

I went through a phone, bro. And now all them pictures.

[Pat]

Now what pictures, bro?

[Caller L]

Yeah, pictures of him butt ass naked in her bed.

[Pat]

They documented the thing, bro.

[Caller L]

Yes. So what I think what happened was they were before and I think he just got tired of her. And the fact that he got tired

[Caller I]

of her and I.

[Caller L]

And I didn't. That I wasn't eating for days.

[Mike]

What was the signs though? Like why'd you check her phone? Like, obviously something led you to that, right?

[Caller L]

She was hiding me from her story and didn't block my other account.

[Pat]

What was she posting on her story?

[Caller L]

The dumbest. Literally just random. Like Instagram reels ain't.

[Pat]

Oh, you know, oh, she's doing stuff to portray that she's single.

[Caller L]

Yeah, I didn't even think about it like that.

[Caller F]

Damn.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah,

[Mike]

I see why she got away with it.

[Caller L]

Damn, bro.

[Pat]

So how did you. So, so. Okay, so after you saw the pictures, what was the confrontation like?

[Caller L]

There wasn't even a confrontation. I, I just, I was like, hey, I saw this on your phone. This ain't gonna work, but you got a hot ass cousin that like me, so if you can put a word in.

[Mike]

What was her reaction though? Like, did she try to like, that's

[Pat]

a terrible comeback, brother. That means you losing.

[Jean]

When you say some like that, you're

[Mike]

already down 30 and you just took a three point shot, bro.

[Pat]

Sorry, out of bounds.

[Gene]

Out of bounds.

[Mike]

Exactly.

[Caller L]

You gotta just start shooting, you know.

[Mike]

He's still down 27.

[Jean]

Bang. Cuts the lead to 24.

[Caller L]

That's crazy.

[Mike]

What was her like? Did she try to like defend herself

[Caller L]

or was she just like, nah, bro, this was cold. She was like, yeah. And I was like, she never liked you.

[Pat]

Hey, that's the only time we allowed to be word to ride on this. You weren't the first ones. That's crazy, bro. How did like when did this happen? How long ago, bro?

[Caller L]

This was a year ago and I'm still not fixed.

[Pat]

No, I get it though. Again, have you been in any relationships after or any situationships?

[Caller L]

You know what's funny? I was, I was just in a relationship and she cheated on me with her ex boyfriend. That is ugly. And so now I'm thinking I'm the problem. I have to be the problem, you know?

[Pat]

You know what, usually I like pile on in this situation, but you were really close to the edge. Yeah, I'm not trying to be your last, bro.

[Caller L]

Nah.

[Pat]

Yeah, I think he's.

[Mike]

You can't call somebody ugly if they took your girl.

[Jean]

No, Mike, he got teeth.

[Caller L]

The gap between his teeth is so.

[Pat]

But what about.

[Gene]

So he's not your type.

[Pat]

The gap between his teeth is big, but also so are you and him. You know what I'm saying?

[Caller L]

Yeah,

[Jean]

my fault, my fault.

[Pat]

I'm trying to solve it with humor, bro. But this is up, though.

[Mike]

Did you ever, like, have a conversation with the guy your. The first girl you were talking about was cheating on?

[Caller M]

What?

[Caller L]

No. They still friends to this day, but

[Pat]

I. I just got like a weird feeling that that was never your girl. You know what I mean? Like with the stories situation that don't sound. You guys were never official, right?

[Caller L]

Bro, I had three posts on my. On my.

[Caller I]

My page.

[Pat]

Three. How many did she have? You'll make me leave a studio. How many does she have?

[Jean]

I swear to God.

[Caller L]

She had three. She had three.

[Pat]

She had 3 of you, now that

[Caller L]

I think about it. You can hide who the post goes to.

[Pat]

You can.

[Caller L]

So she was probably hiding that from everybody that she wanted.

[Pat]

You can hide the post.

[Gene]

What?

[Pat]

I'm pretty sure. I don't think you can do that.

[Caller E]

No.

[Caller G]

No.

[Pat]

You sure she had three of you up there?

[Caller L]

It might have been one or two.

[Pat]

One or two.

[Mike]

Okay, so.

[Caller E]

Okay.

[Mike]

Was any of them a group photo? Was just y'. All. Was it just y' all her or was any other people in the.

[Caller L]

Man, you, You. Yeah, they were all good friends.

[Caller J]

They were.

[Jean]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

The gay friend was in.

[Gene]

The gay friend was in one of these.

[Pat]

Was.

[Mike]

Yeah. Was the bi. Was the bisexual friend in them?

[Caller L]

Damn all. All three of us.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh.

[Pat]

Oh, that's crazy, brother. That boy. That boy is a throuple. He didn't even know it.

[Jean]

Hey, you. You lucky you ain't get to the final stage. That's what you better be.

[Pat]

He was about one year away, that boy.

[Mike]

Situation awareness is terrible.

[Jean]

Right?

[Caller L]

You know, I can admit that.

[Caller M]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Let's ask about the other situation. So she left you for the last girl left you for her ex boyfriend or cheated on you. Were you in an official relationship with her?

[Caller L]

I. Yep. Posted her. She posted me. Fun fact. I have a video of her smiling at the text message that he sent to her, and I gaslit myself into believing that. Oh, no, it was a nervous smile. It was a nervous laughter. Was not nervous.

[Gene]

Why?

[Caller L]

They were together last week at the local bar.

[Pat]

Oh, my. The local bar. You in a small ass town.

[Jean]

They you over they them over in Janesville, Mama.

[Caller L]

That's crazy.

[Jean]

No, that's so crazy.

[Mike]

You live in a small town.

[Pat]

Smaller town, said local bar, like, this one spot.

[Jean]

They're at Joe Shack right now.

[Pat]

You know, it's official. They go to Joe Shack, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah, I gotta be a popular one, too.

[Pat]

I just want to know, like, how much of a ham you are that they cheating in front of you like this. Like, they're cheating in front of your face. So you must not be.

[Caller J]

Be.

[Pat]

I'm not trying to call you Ham, but I'm just saying, like, someone who

[Caller L]

call me Ham is crazy.

[Pat]

No, you're a ham.

[Jean]

But.

[Pat]

But, like, I'm trying to be polite about it, but it's just like. Is this something about your presence? Because these aren't people that are, like, sneaking off and, like, to the night. These are two people that cheated right in front of your face with no remorse. And they both said, then what? So, like, what are you. Are you just, like, a lover boy and you just, like, happy all the time?

[Jean]

I'm a lover boy.

[Caller L]

I'm a lover boy that gaslit himself every single time.

[Pat]

Okay, okay.

[Gene]

There we go.

[Pat]

So what are you trying to do to fix that?

[Caller L]

Honestly, two things. One, stop. Stop loving these hoes. But two, if she bad enough, hey, I'm all for it.

[Jean]

So you.

[Pat]

So if a girl is beautiful, then it's okay to get cheated on and over?

[Caller L]

If it's like Sydney Sweeney, you know, Cardi. Cardi B. Meg.

[Pat]

The Stalin Insecurities, brother. You gotta look within, man. Next time you in the mirror, say, I'm a.

[Jean]

Manifest that, bro.

[Pat]

Yo, welcome to Crash on Me's podcast.

[Caller E]

What's up, guys? I'm so excited to be on here.

[Pat]

No, we. We redoing this caller because we.

[Mike]

He said his username.

[Pat]

Yeah, he accidentally said his username, and we got him flagged. So we about to figure out why just. And he trolling y' all right now. Okay, we got a question for you.

[Caller G]

All right.

[Pat]

What's the most controversial take you have?

[Caller E]

I think that, like, if two people are talking or together or something, and they're equally cheating on each other, then it's fair. Like, nobody has anything to worry about. But if one person's cheating a little more, that's when it becomes, like, bad.

[Mike]

What would constitute for a little bit more?

[Caller E]

So, like, let's say I'm talking to someone, and I go on a trip, and I talk to, like, two other girls while I'm on the trip. If I come back and go through her phone and she's talking to like three people. That's like, that's like a power differential. Like, that's not good.

[Pat]

So you going cheat for cheat?

[Caller E]

Yeah. So like, it has to be fair. Like. Like if you go through your girl's phone and she's cheating less than you, then you know, you need to tone it down. But if she's doing it more, then that's like, that's like crazy.

[Jean]

You gotta turn it up.

[Caller E]

I don't know about turn it up. I feel like you should just end it at that point because you should have a good gauge of how much cheating you should be doing.

[Mike]

Oh, where is this rulebook?

[Caller E]

I just, it's like from experience. Like I went through this girl's phone the other day and I'm like, damn, she's really like, not that bad. Like we're kind of doing the same thing.

[Mike]

This girl or your girl?

[Caller E]

Not my girl. But like, maybe in the future. I don't know. It's complicated.

[Pat]

I know. I. I get it. What's.

[Mike]

So what's going through a girl that's not his girlfriend's phone?

[Pat]

What's. I mean, that's him. We could tell he was weird from the get go. What's. So, like, what's your goal in a relationship? Like, do you want to have a relationship, faithful relationship, where neither one of you are cheating on each other one day?

[Caller E]

Yes, but like, talking stages and situationships don't count as that.

[Caller M]

So.

[Pat]

So it's not really, it's not really cheating that.

[Caller E]

Well, you know how like when you're talking to someone and you guys are like exclusive, like, you just have a mutual understanding that it's like, okay, we're each other's person.

[Pat]

Where is the understanding though? Did you have that conversation with her and say, like, yo, we're exclusive now, we're not doing anything else?

[Caller E]

No, but every time, every time, like even a little hint of somebody else comes up in conversation, she freaks the fuck out. So I'm like, okay, I guess this is what we're doing.

[Pat]

Maybe she just won't all that shit to herself. You ever thought about that?

[Caller E]

Obviously not if I go through her phone and I find some shit, she's talking to other people, she's trying to be a hypocrite.

[Pat]

Like, no, what is she saying in those messages? How are y' all even? So what are y' all both doing?

[Caller E]

The dude. I found a message from a dude being like, damn, that shit you did to me last night put me to sleep for real. And then she responds, like, do you want me to do it again? Like, come on.

[Mike]

Like, while she's, like, in your presence.

[Caller E]

Not. Not while she's in my presence, but, like, I went on a trip and then I came back and, like, I found out that happened during my trip.

[Mike]

Out of sight, out of mind.

[Caller M]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Did you confront her about that?

[Caller N]

But I.

[Caller E]

No, because I can't say anything because while I was on my trip, I was doing the same shit. So it's fair.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's all fair. But if you don't do wrong, like, let's say you stay faithful, and if you really thought the relationship was exclusive, you will be able to leave because you didn't do that. But the fact that you're doing wrong now, you got to take the wrongdoing also.

[Caller E]

Exactly. I'm not going to be a hypocrite. Whatever. Whatever I do, if she does the same thing, I'm not going to come.

[Mike]

When is this, like, graduate into something else

[Caller E]

with this specific person? She's. I don't know. It's like, she's for. For the people. So I don't know if she's for me, but I still love her. She's an amazing human being. So I don't know, maybe. Maybe it'll move into, like, May will get married one day.

[Pat]

I don't know from. She's literally you.

[Jean]

Literally.

[Pat]

It's not even your girlfriend. Like, what do you mean? Get married?

[Caller E]

Because, like, you can just tell the connection is there.

[Pat]

Okay, let me ask you this. Are you guys with each other every day? Like, when she's in town?

[Caller E]

Basically.

[Pat]

Okay, how often do you leave? Like, do one of you leave?

[Caller E]

For the last month, it's been pretty bad. We've been together damn near, like, every day. Like, I leave for, like, a day or two at most.

[Pat]

That's all she needs, a day or two off from you.

[Jean]

I see.

[Pat]

Don't go.

[Caller E]

That's what I'm saying. But when I checked her phone, like, recently, she hasn't been doing nothing and I haven't been doing nothing, so it's fair.

[Jean]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

No, she got here.

[Jean]

Yeah, bro, she deleting.

[Pat]

I'm not gonna lie to you.

[Caller E]

That's.

[Caller N]

That's.

[Caller E]

That's what I'm thinking. But, like, I don't know. Like, her stories add up to me at least.

[Pat]

So.

[Mike]

So I can't remember. You said you confronted her about it.

[Caller E]

No, no, I didn't. Because I said it was fair. Because, like, I just left it alone. I was like, well, okay, okay.

[Pat]

I got a question. What did the text message say again?

[Caller E]

It was like, pick me up at so and so. And then the dude was like, that shit you did last night put me to sleep. I'm not gonna lie.

[Jean]

Heavy.

[Pat]

Like, you don't think you should ask her about that?

[Mike]

Just, like, not require.

[Jean]

Yeah, just inquired.

[Caller E]

I know what happened. What's the point in that?

[Mike]

And she put you to sleep?

[Caller E]

Yes.

[Jean]

Okay.

[Pat]

What.

[Jean]

What is she doing?

[Caller E]

She's just great at her job. Like, not her job. I don't want to sound misogynistic. She's just, like, really good.

[Jean]

And she put asleep, man. Hey, man, that's. That's Deontay Wilder right there.

[Pat]

You ain't the only person she knocked out.

[Caller E]

Hopefully from now on, I am the only person.

[Mike]

All right, brother.

[Jean]

No, that's crazy. Hey, you go.

[Pat]

She gonna come from over your friend house. And then your friend ain't gonna respond to your text.

[Jean]

He could be like, my bad, bro.

[Caller G]

Last question.

[Mike]

Did you know who that was? Was. Do you know the person she was talking to?

[Caller I]

No.

[Caller E]

No. That's the thing I'm trying to figure out because she. When I came back from my trip, she was like, yeah, I only talked to my ex once while you were gone, and we didn't even do nothing. And that wasn't her ex. It was a random dude.

[Mike]

So no save number, nothing?

[Caller E]

No. Not even a contact name. Like, this was just straight up number.

[Jean]

Now, this girl, the same man she put asleep,

[Caller E]

literally, he wasn't even. He's not even from here. He went back to Atlanta the day after.

[Pat]

Oh, my God. Sent them packing, too.

[Mike]

So I'm like, was it night time, too when she put him to sleep, or was it, like, daytime?

[Caller E]

It was night time.

[Mike]

Okay. I was gonna say seven o', clock, getting put to sleep, but.

[Caller E]

But there's another message I'm trying to, like, decipher. It was in the afternoon. I'm like, what the.

[Pat]

Like, 3pm what was that message about?

[Caller E]

It was just like, hi, it's so and so. And then the guy was like, hey. And then he was like, when do you want me to pick you up? And she's like, I'm outside your door.

[Caller K]

Boom.

[Mike]

All right, bro. You have a good one.

[Jean]

That's funny.

[Pat]

Yo.

[Caller N]

Hi.

[Caller H]

How are you guys?

[Jean]

Good, good, good.

[Pat]

You're the first person to ask us that. Everybody else just been hopping on, just talking crazy.

[Caller N]

Oh, no. You know, that's what it's all about, though.

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Caller N]

Talking crazy is the best.

[Mike]

I got a question for you.

[Caller N]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Put your pants on.

[Jean]

Put your pants on.

[Mike]

What's something we should live in 20. What's something we should leave in 20?

[Caller K]

25?

[Caller N]

For sure, for sure. What you doing? I cannot stand that. I can't stand getting a text. I can't stand somebody calling me just to say, what you doing? I feel like that's like the new conversation now.

[Pat]

I get what you're saying. Like, when somebody keeps sending it throughout the day, instead of trying to find out in an interactive way, they just say, what you doing? Five, six times a day.

[Caller N]

I don't get that, though. Like, what makes people so comfortable now to be like, what you doing? Like, at this point, I just been saying some out of pocket shit when they asked me that.

[Mike]

Like, what.

[Caller N]

Perfect example, early this morning, some dude was like, what you doing? And I was like, upside down wiping my toilet. He was like, what? I was like, exactly. Stop asking me.

[Caller F]

No.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Why do you think they feel comfortable?

[Caller N]

It sounds funny, but it's just.

[Mike]

Why do you think this feels so comfortable texting you that I feel like

[Caller N]

it's not even comfortable? I feel like everybody's doing it now, so it's not even like.

[Pat]

Nobody asked me what I'm doing. I'm not gonna lie.

[Caller M]

Yeah.

[Caller J]

Really?

[Pat]

Yeah. It's not many people. Yeah. I think it's just you. You might like. You're not.

[Caller N]

Wow. Am I a magnet to what you doing?

[Pat]

Yeah. What is you doing? All right.

[Mike]

Is it like a late, late night what you doing?

[Caller N]

No, it's a capital capital. What you doing? It's a lowercase lowercase. What you doing? It's a. It pop up as, like, you know, like the scribble. And you could, like, undo what you doing. It's just coming in all sorts of forms. But I'm tired.

[Mike]

I'm saying, like, the time of day.

[Caller N]

It don't even matter. It don't even matter.

[Pat]

Hold on. Okay. We might have missed. We might have missed something here. How many people are saying, what you doing today? Like, who are these people to you?

[Caller N]

I mean, you know, I have a. No, I have like a notebook.

[Pat]

There it is.

[Caller N]

I'm single. So, like, you know, that's what it'd be like now for me.

[Jean]

These. These are.

[Pat]

These aren't what you doing? These are inquiries.

[Caller N]

Nah, leave me alone.

[Pat]

They trying to inquire about a service.

[Jean]

This is going well.

[Caller N]

They not even trying to stay the service. And then we can start talking.

[Jean]

Oh, my God. Giving it.

[Caller I]

Yeah.

[Caller N]

So, I mean, if I don't want to say it like that, but if the price is right.

[Jean]

Bike is trying to save you so bad. Just be you. Oh, my God.

[Caller N]

I am being me.

[Mike]

If the price is right.

[Jean]

So that's a game show.

[Caller N]

I know.

[Mike]

So if they led with money. So let's say everybody kept saying, what you eat today? Or can I send you some money today?

[Pat]

Or they say. Or are they saying what you doing? In the same text? You know, you can bulk it up with the Apple pay, and they send in, like, let's say 150. What you doing today?

[Caller N]

That's real cute. That is so real cute.

[Pat]

Like, are you answering?

[Caller N]

I will answer everything. I'm gonna answer for sure. Because you're coming with intention. You're coming with intentions for me. Now, you know you care about me. No, but you care about me. Like, yes, I'm able to do this and that, and then I could tell you I am eating.

[Pat]

God damn.

[Jean]

Take your cape off. Mike trying to save you. He's like, if the intention is to come over.

[Caller N]

Listen, listen, listen, listen. I am just living how I'm living. You doing the opposite. Are you trying to unsave me?

[Mike]

No, no, no. I was trying to. I was trying to. How do I say this?

[Pat]

What the guys.

[Mike]

Let's just be honest here, right? The guys are most likely just trying to have sex. Right? I would think. Right.

[Caller N]

Of course. I would think so, too.

[Mike]

So when you. When so the. What you're doing only really matters to you. You only get angry at it when it's. There's no money attached to it, literally. So then it's just a money thing.

[Pat]

Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out on some, like, not for me, but, like, 150 gets a text message back. Right?

[Caller N]

I mean, it could be less than that, though. I mean, you left with 150. It could be just you asking me, like, hey, what. What you doing? Here goes lunch money. Like, I mean, I'm just saying if you want to talk to me and you care about me some kind of

[Jean]

way, like, somewhere around $40.

[Caller N]

It could be $40. It could be a cute little $40.

[Jean]

Oh, Lord.

[Caller N]

That won't score you for no. For no. For no thing, though.

[Caller G]

Oh, no.

[Mike]

Got you, Got you.

[Pat]

Oh, what you say?

[Mike]

That's not enough to, you know.

[Pat]

Okay, that's not enough. If somebody sent 500 and said, what you doing?

[Caller N]

You just starting to pay my bills. I live in New York.

[Pat]

Okay, okay. Oh, that's my first time hearing a New York accent. Okay.

[Caller N]

Oh, for real?

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Okay. Okay. 2,500. What you doing?

[Caller N]

All right, that is. That's my actual rent. So, yeah, I'm definitely going to give you the time of the day, but that's just for that day.

[Mike]

2500. That's a lot of money.

[Caller N]

I know. Rent is crazy. And you live in a matches box.

[Pat]

No, that's crazy.

[Mike]

I mean, do you.

[Jean]

I mean, exactly.

[Pat]

You living your truth, man.

[Caller N]

You just got a. I mean, that's the best part. That's the best way to go about life. Right. For you.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Are you, like, looking for, like, a real relationship?

[Caller N]

I thought about it before 2026, and I said, I. I do want one, but I think the way I am, the way most men kind of, I guess, like my. The examples around me. I don't want a relationship no more. No.

[Pat]

I think we found our next dating show person, right? Here we go. Oh, we're gonna find you love. No, Fellas, fellas, chime in if you want to be on the next day.

[Mike]

It's out there somewhere in the Bronx.

[Caller N]

Oh, Ill. Ill. Ew. Nobody's not climbing up. Nobody's not climbing up them hills to get the snow first.

[Caller L]

No.

[Caller M]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

You have a good one.

[Caller N]

You too.

[Jean]

Yo, what's the deal?

[Caller J]

Hi.

[Caller H]

Oh, my gosh. This is Pat.

[Pat]

Yo, yo. Yes. You got a good voice recognition there.

[Caller H]

Yes. I mean, I listen to you guys all the time.

[Jean]

What?

[Pat]

She said she listens to us all the time.

[Caller G]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Deserves two barks.

[Caller N]

Oh, my gosh.

[Caller H]

Mike is there, too. Hi, Mike.

[Mike]

You know, we're not. You know, we're usually here together, you know.

[Caller N]

Yeah.

[Caller H]

Oh, my gosh. Who else is there?

[Pat]

No, it's Gene.

[Gene]

Gene.

[Pat]

Gene heard you on the phone. He just walked out the studio as soon as he heard your voice.

[Caller H]

No, he would never.

[Pat]

Not us, though.

[Caller H]

He is a gentleman.

[Pat]

Like, rank, rank, rank your gentleman on the. On the podcast. Like, who you think is the perfect gentleman? Rank us.

[Caller H]

I'm gonna go Gene first, actually.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

Wow.

[Caller H]

Then we're gonna go Mike, of course. And then I feel like key, actually. Key might go number two, then Mike, then Pat.

[Pat]

So you think I'm, like, not a gentleman? No, I think you are a gentleman.

[Caller H]

But, like, not to everybody. Like, not to just any girl.

[Pat]

I spent. I will spend the most money on women and. Oh, that sounds so crazy.

[Jean]

These cheap.

[Caller H]

No, no, no. I don't think so because, like, I feel like Mike is in a relationship.

[Gene]

I don't know.

[Caller H]

I ain't seen you in a public relationship yet, so.

[Pat]

So I got to be in a public relationship to be a gentleman.

[Caller H]

Yeah. We got to see how you do.

[Pat]

The dudes that's with girlfriends, they be.

[Jean]

They don't be caring about y'. All. They got that girl, and they done with women.

[Caller H]

No, I'm done with men, so I'm really not even the right person to ask.

[Pat]

Okay, type. Okay. Be done then. Okay. I got a question for you.

[Caller H]

All right, all right.

[Pat]

What did your worst enemy do to become your worst enemy?

[Caller H]

All right, my worst enemy is my. My elementary school bestie. She was a white girl, and I, you know, I lived in a white town, so all these girls, I just

[Pat]

got to be friends with them.

[Caller H]

But there's this one white girl, and she had a big ass. It was bigger than mine. I'm black, if y' all couldn't tell. And so, like, she was really flaunting that. And it was like, around, like, 20, 2014, 2015. Around that time, everybody want to have a big ass. So she. Over here, she started acting black, but I was her friend the whole time, and I supported her. If she started talking to a black guy who did not like me, he liked her because she had to ask. I would just, you know, sit by and let it happen, and I would support her. But then come, like, after we graduate, I. She start going to farms. She start riding cows and shit, and she started ignoring me. I'm like, what happened? I thought we were friends. So I sent her, like, a Snapchat. I'm like, okay, what's going on? And she just. She just, like, you know, she was. She did that white girl thing. She's gonna act nice, but I come to find out that she's a Trump supporter posting on her story. Oh, you guys need to get with Trump. Trump loves he. Trump is going to save the world. And like that. It's just. It's sad.

[Caller M]

No.

[Caller H]

That's why I don't trust white people.

[Pat]

She said, Trump is going to save the world. I think.

[Caller H]

I swear she said some shit just like that.

[Pat]

Yeah. I think political views is the least of my worries with her. Trump is going to save the world.

[Jean]

Okay.

[Pat]

Which is crazy.

[Caller H]

She young, too. I'm not understanding.

[Mike]

Hey, man, feel it.

[Pat]

Brain fry it. Shout out to your friend. What's your last message to her?

[Caller H]

Well, I mean, we could probably still be friends. I mean.

[Mike]

Oh, my gosh.

[Caller N]

No.

[Caller G]

You're alone.

[Caller H]

Yeah, I mean, I never, you know,

[Pat]

but at the beginning, I never want

[Caller H]

to break a bond.

[Mike]

At the beginning of the car, you said you're. You're done with men. Why? Why are you done with men?

[Caller H]

I Live in a small state. I live in Connecticut. And y' all need to come to Connecticut, by the way. But there's a lot of Jamaicans here. Jamaicans are like the devil's spawn. No offense, but what.

[Mike]

What's the.

[Pat]

They're awful Jamaicans in Connecticut. I like that as a search bar.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caller H]

No, for real. There's a lot. I just seen a TikTok and they're like, top places where Jamaicans stay at. Number one was Blue Hills, Connecticut. No lie. You cannot get. You cannot escape them. And I thought it was normal to have this many Jamaicans around.

[Mike]

Well, so what's like, what. What did the Jamaican men do done to you?

[Caller H]

Well, you know, they act nice to start, but I don't know, they always. Maybe I'm too nice, but they always end up kind of. How many dirty.

[Jean]

How many. How many Jamaican men we talking about?

[Caller H]

Probably, like, I've been with, with two half Jamaicans, half Jamaican, half Ghanaian, half Jamaican, half Nigerian, and then a full Jamaican. And that was the last. Like, I'm not doing it again. That was the last draw.

[Pat]

It's going. It's like Pokemon.

[Caller H]

I even told him. He told me he's Jamaican.

[Caller J]

I'm like, you know, I don't really

[Caller H]

mess with Jamaicans, but I'm give you a chance. He's like, yeah, I understand. I don't like Jamaicans either.

[Mike]

So what did. What did the last Jamaican do to, like, for it. For you to call it quits?

[Caller H]

So he had anger issues and also, like, he went to jail. But I let all that slide

[Caller N]

because

[Caller H]

that was like, before we met. And he seemed, like, very reformed. But eventually he would start, like, getting mad at me if I had plans. I didn't want to, like, lay in bed with him all day. I had other to do. Yeah. And then the last straw, though, was we went to New Haven, which is like a one hour drive in my mom's car, and we get back to Hartford, and then he's talking about, oh, go, go inside and buy some gas. Why am I gonna buy gas? I'm like, no, I'm not gonna do it. He made us sit there. It was traumatic, honestly.

[Mike]

Through a tantrum. No, you go, oh, my gosh.

[Caller H]

I literally sat on him. I'm like, if you don't drive this car, I will drive it. But then he, you know, Jamaicans don't do Jamaicans. That's my psa, honestly.

[Pat]

But I feel like this is like, the very bad part about dating because. Because of your selection of human beings, now you're grouping these people up and telling other people because you. You literally said you let him going to jail slide like you some of these situations.

[Caller J]

No, I.

[Caller H]

You know, I seen the better side of him, but I guess I was ignoring those red flags.

[Pat]

You called him reformed.

[Jean]

Like you had to know.

[Mike]

Oh, man. Anyway, you have a good one.

[Caller H]

You too. Bye.

[Mike]

Bye.

[Caller J]

Hello.

[Pat]

Yo,

[Caller J]

yo, what's up?

[Pat]

What's the deal? Welcome to Crashing Me's podcast.

[Caller J]

Thank you.

[Pat]

Hey, hey, hey.

[Mike]

I got a question for you. What did your worst enemy do to become your worst enemy?

[Caller J]

Okay, so back in college, like freshman year, I used to talk to this dude and his friends. Every time I came to his dorm, his friends would be like, oh, put me on your friends. Put me on your friends. And I don't know why they would do that because we're in college. So it's like, free everywhere. But I put them on anyway. So I told them I'm gonna make a group chat, which I did, with my friends who I went to high school with who are now in college. And we all kind of spaced out. So some went to Winston, some with A and T, some with the central. So we're all in a group chat, and I fall asleep. I mean, like, the first few hours, yeah, I'm texting with the marathon going good, but then after that, I fell asleep. I wake up to like 200 plus messages, and I'm like, well, what did I miss? Like, they talking crazy in the group. It's like, what did I miss? I called my closest friend. I'm like, okay, so what happened was, what's going on? Because I didn't want to scroll up and read it. She said, oh, old girl pretty much told your managed you was somebody else who goes to a T. And I'm like, what? So I talked to him. He like, oh, yeah. She said you was messing with somebody else at the same time and she don't want me to get hurt. So she just had to let me know because I feel like a good person. I'm like, what the hell?

[Pat]

Hold on.

[Caller J]

This ho trying to get my. It's a whole bunch of. In this group chat, she's trying to get mine. Couldn't trust that. However, since she my worst enemy. Anybody who rat on me. Worst enemy.

[Jean]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Pat]

You said anybody who rats on me?

[Caller J]

Yes, Anybody who try to rat on me.

[Caller H]

You.

[Caller J]

My word. I mean, I'm not like that. No machine. So when I got me a good man. But also, if you try to rat on me.

[Pat]

So you're guilty. So you did it?

[Caller J]

Yes, I was guilty. I was talking. I mean, I'm freshman in college. I'm talking to who I want to talk to. I'm free.

[Pat]

But was she your friend?

[Caller J]

Yeah. I put her in a group chat to meet the guys, because the guys always say, where your friends at? So I got all my friends in high school who go to college, and I put them in a group chat. So she actually was my friend. That's why I was confused. She really wanted my. The whole time.

[Pat]

How did she meet your man? Did she meet her. Your man through you?

[Caller J]

Yes. Okay, so we're in a group chat. I put all my.

[Pat]

Oh, so your man was a part of that? Your man was a part of it. Why would you put your man in a group chat?

[Mike]

That's a good question.

[Caller J]

But you mean, we. We always gonna hang out. I mean, not mind you. He's my man, but he ain't my man. Like I said, I'm talking to other people, too. So it's like we all wanted to link up so we all can, like, you know, get to know each other. Well, I know my man already, but his friends, because, you know, my friends, we all can hang out and stuff. So to make it not so awkward, we all just met. A group chat.

[Caller H]

First. First.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Caller J]

The dudes can pick out who they want like that, you know,

[Jean]

a group

[Pat]

text orgy is crazy.

[Jean]

All right.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Caller J]

Orgy is ridiculous.

[Pat]

Ridiculous. Okay, answer this, answer this, answer this. What was the results of, like, her snitching on you?

[Caller J]

He didn't care. He didn't want her. I mean, she ain't me. So he was. He wasn't tripping, so that made me feel like, at the end of the day, he doing what he wanted. So, I mean, he didn't talk to her after that. Her plan obviously didn't work. We were still doing what we was doing.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

Also, it wasn't, like, mission.

[Caller J]

Real pe.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Caller J]

Yeah. Real peace.

[Pat]

What's your message to her if she listening right now?

[Caller J]

You sneaky. I hope you pregnant with five kids and no baby daddy, and you struggling out here in the real world.

[Jean]

Oh, my God.

[Mike]

That's the energy you want to bring into 2026?

[Caller J]

I mean. Yeah, I still feel the same way. Yeah. Bring it in.

[Mike]

Are you in a relationship?

[Caller J]

I ain't got no beef with her. I am. I mean, I'm right here.

[Mike]

Oh, shout out to him.

[Pat]

He don't. He let you talk about that. I'm not saying he let you, but he like when you talk about this.

[Caller J]

I mean, he don't care. We kind of told each other all our little stories back in the day that we thought was funny, so that was just one of the stories. He already heard the story.

[Mike]

Just the funny ones.

[Caller J]

I mean, you trying to get sad when problem my.

[Pat]

You told him everything, huh?

[Caller J]

Yeah, everything. You know, everything.

[Pat]

That's a good man.

[Caller H]

Yeah.

[Mike]

How long you been together?

[Caller J]

Yeah, we've been together for three years now.

[Jean]

Y' all strong, man.

[Pat]

He talking like this is something new. Watch out. Let us get out y' all way.

[Caller J]

Yeah, this is. This is real. We got a baby in there. Thank you. Said my baby. We good over here.

[Caller G]

Oh, shit.

[Pat]

Next thing is a ring.

[Caller H]

Hello.

[Caller J]

Say a little bit, like, one more time for me.

[Jean]

A ring.

[Caller J]

You know where that smell is.

[Jean]

Pressure on that. Pressure on that.

[Pat]

Get the up from that game and go get that ring.

[Caller J]

You don't even play games. Not with games.

[Mike]

I feel it. All right.

[Pat]

You don't with jewelry either.

[Mike]

Hey, take your time, bro.

[Jean]

Now, he don't with games or rings.

[Mike]

Take. Take your time, bro. You talking to two other people.

[Caller J]

No, no, no.

[Jean]

He got a kid, bro.

[Caller G]

He.

[Caller J]

Exactly. It's time. Let's go ahead and push it. I like what you talking about first, but now you. Now you talking a little crazy.

[Pat]

Yeah, they. I mean, y' all living together. Y' all got a kid. How was the kid?

[Caller J]

Yeah, he's one year and one month.

[Pat]

Okay. He probably. He need. He need another.

[Caller J]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Jean]

He need another 11 months to see.

[Caller N]

No, he.

[Pat]

11 months? Yeah, you got to see how you. How you vibe with the terrible tools. If y' all make it through the terrible tools, then. Then the.

[Caller J]

I don't think you need it. If I can make it through the. The whole pushing that baby, I think I deserve it.

[Pat]

Preach.

[Caller J]

Terrible tools. I don't. Went to the terrible stage already. This is the good part.

[Jean]

Hey, Preach.

[Mike]

Oh, my God. A whole weekend conversation

[Pat]

ask that what your ring size is. He don't even know.

[Caller J]

Yes, he did. What's my ring size? He said the jeweler know.

[Jean]

That's a good. Hey, that was a good. That's a good comeback, bro.

[Pat]

My fault, man. You're right. No, y' all gotta wait till the baby, too, though. He got nine months.

[Caller J]

Rules and stipulations. Nah, first they said, get the ring before you got the baby. Now, okay, you can get the ring.

[Jean]

Too late.

[Pat]

You too late already, so we might as well wait till two.

[Caller J]

I'm being patient. I'M put a little pressure, just a little bit, but not too much.

[Mike]

I feel it.

[Caller J]

I'll wait my turn.

[Mike]

All right, you have a good one.

[Pat]

Don't put no timetable on, girl. Just right.

[Caller J]

I be. I was wait.

[Caller N]

I always.

[Caller J]

I keep a call or y' all call people and they always say this at the end. I want to say it, too. I've been listening to y' all for the past three years. Episode one. I love the podcast. Y' all keep doing what y' all boys doing.

[Mike]

Appreciate you.

[Pat]

Happy holidays to you. To you and yours, your family.

[Caller J]

Happy holidays to you and yours. Happy New Year.

[Mike]

Happy New Year.

[Pat]

Happy New Year.

[Caller I]

Yo, what's going on?

[Pat]

What's the deal? Welcome to Crashing Me's podcast.

[Caller I]

Oh, what's poppin, fellas?

[Jean]

What's the deal?

[Pat]

Go ahead, Mike. That's a naked question.

[Mike]

I feel like I'm bad luck, so you gotta go ask it.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. All right, you ready?

[Caller I]

Yes, sir.

[Pat]

And closing doors. And what is your worst enemy? Dude,

[Caller I]

man, she got pregnant on me, man. Yeah, I'm talking about old history type.

[Mike]

The girl. You're a witch.

[Caller I]

Got pregnant, man. Type, type. Not all the way together, but trying to make up for passion and doing, you know, moving the right way, being a good guy, taking her out, helping her out with stuff.

[Jean]

But what. But what do you mean? What do you.

[Pat]

What do you mean? She got pregnant on you? Like, what? At what stage were you at with her that she got pregnant on you? Did she cheat on you?

[Caller I]

Okay, so we was talking. Talking stage. We used to be together, you feel me? Probably like 10 years ago. I'm around y' all age. A little bit old.

[Pat]

How you know. How you know how old he is, huh?

[Caller I]

Man, I've been watching a pod since, like, episode. I want to say four.

[Pat]

Okay, you need to be quiet then.

[Jean]

Go ahead.

[Caller I]

So, damn, where was I? Okay, so ran back into her. We started dating, taking her out. We both got kids, so we go on, like, take our kids on dates, stuff like that. And of course, she talking to somebody else. I'm talking to somebody else. But we trying to. You know what I'm saying? Trying to make it work. Trying to see what's up. We probably dated, did that for, like, a couple months. And then out the blue on Thanksgiving, she pulled up on. Yeah, yeah, horrible. Pull up on me. Tell me she had something. No, I call her, like, hey, let's go smoke. Let's drink. She's like, okay. She pull up. I got a bottle. Everything, like, what's up? She like, I Got something to tell you. And yeah, that's. That's what it was. She told me she was pregnant after we talking about getting married and all type of. And if I'm gonna be 100, this is gonna blow you out the mind. I never hit since we were back talking when we were together, smacking it all the time. But I tried to do something different because she's like, when we broke up, she felt everything I was doing was like, surrounded by sex. So I'm like, okay, the next way around, I'm gonna move the right way.

[Mike]

Well, well, you're talking to somebody else, right?

[Caller I]

It wasn't nothing though. It was just conversation. And it ain't gonna be out here not talking to nobody.

[Mike]

Yeah, but were you having sex with the other person?

[Caller I]

No, I went on a little self journey. Not trying to none because I felt like since a person, since I started, that's like ruined everything. So I took some time off.

[Pat]

You must have been a addict.

[Jean]

You didn't talk about sex three times this conversation.

[Pat]

Nice. That's messed up.

[Gene]

How is.

[Pat]

How is she now, though? What's the update?

[Caller I]

Oh, so I don't know. I had to. I couldn't. I can't do it. I had to block around everything.

[Pat]

How old would the kid be right now? What did you say?

[Caller I]

The kid ain't born yet. She was four months on Thanksgiving, so she probably like.

[Caller L]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, that's. Oh, that's fresh. It's a fresh womb. Yeah, yeah, I'm glad I figured that out because you probably said that earlier, but I was about to joke on you, but this too fresh around the New Year's. So what you taking into 2026? What mindset we got going on? Because it sound like you was on the show.

[Caller I]

It's always been about money.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Caller I]

The journey. The journey ended that night. But what'd you do with that?

[Jean]

Yeah,

[Caller I]

the journey ended that night. You know what I'm talking about? So. Took out frustration on some lonely soul.

[Pat]

She couldn't smoke or drink, huh?

[Jean]

Yeah, yeah, she's.

[Caller I]

No, no, it was a rap. I played it cool, though, that literally.

[Mike]

Text somebody the same message. You trying to smoke and drink.

[Pat]

Text.

[Caller I]

Go green, copy and paste what you talk about.

[Pat]

I think it was heartbroken.

[Mike]

I think it was in a new spot. Thirty minutes later,

[Caller I]

she was like.

[Caller M]

It was.

[Caller I]

It was bad for her. I ain't talked to her after that either.

[Pat]

Okay, okay. Since you ain't talked to her, give her one final message just in case you hear this.

[Caller I]

Oh, one final message. Nah, it. We. We. We good, man. I hope. Hope it worked well. Hope the daddy be there.

[Mike]

Do you know who the dad was?

[Caller I]

Nah, nah, nah. I don't invest in a, you know, other people's lives like that.

[Pat]

That boy didn't even look up the winner.

[Mike]

That's horrible.

[Jean]

Damn, Pat is like that how you gotta go look up the champion. You gonna see who won your league. You probably place third and don't even know. You think you had second, bro, you gotta check the standings.

[Caller I]

No, no, no, I was definitely. I was. I was definitely second. I was definitely thinking they got more money than them, so, you know.

[Jean]

But,

[Pat]

hey, man, whatever motivates you, brother. I'm glad you good. Glad you moving on.

[Caller I]

Hey, good looking. Shout out to y', all, man.

[Mike]

I appreciate you, bro.

[Caller I]

You bro, for sure.

[Caller K]

Yo, what's up, boys?

[Mike]

What up?

[Caller G]

What up?

[Mike]

Welcome to Crash Jammies podcast, boys.

[Caller K]

Thanks, friend. Come on, Pat.

[Mike]

All right, come on. We're gonna get this moving. I got a question for you. What's your hot take of the week?

[Caller K]

My hot take of the week is don't open, don't post pictures of a chapter two of a book on your Instagram story, trying to say that you read and. And, you know, trying to stunt for your followers and.

[Pat]

This sounds so specific. Who are you talking about?

[Caller K]

You know, people, like, after the new year, they're like, oh, new Year, new me. I'm trying to, you know, better myself. And they just open it to chapter two being like, oh, I read chapter one, and I'm gonna keep reading this. I. I guarantee they won't read that.

[Pat]

How you gonna check that?

[Mike]

You still haven't told us who did this. That's making you mad? Because it's like. Like Pat said, it sounds like it's like a very particular person you're talking about.

[Caller K]

I don't know, man, so much. I mean, I saw some. Some girl I saw on Instagram.

[Mike]

All right?

[Caller K]

I don't know who it is, but it's just like, I've seen him a

[Pat]

couple times, but I don't know how bad. How bad did she curve you? Did she not respond to your DM or what? What was going on?

[Caller K]

Said, what's up? I don't know.

[Pat]

There it is right there.

[Jean]

That's all you had to say, brother.

[Caller K]

Undelivered, man. I'm like, I feel it.

[Mike]

Nothing make you more angry than a girl doing some. Some you might deem lame.

[Pat]

Yeah, it was crazy.

[Jean]

Like, man, I can't believe almost tried that.

[Pat]

If she would have responded, y' all Be married by now.

[Mike]

I get what you're saying. I feel like it's like, at least get through half of the book before posting on your story.

[Caller K]

Yeah, like, don't even show chapter two, bro. Like, just open it up to the middle and be like, hey, like, you know, halfway done or some.

[Mike]

Get that out your heart, though. You have a good one.

[Caller G]

All right, man.

[Caller K]

You too.

[Caller F]

Yo, yo, yo.

[Pat]

What's the deal? Welcome to Crashing Me's podcast.

[Caller F]

I didn't expect y' all to actually call. That's crazy.

[Caller M]

Okay.

[Mike]

All right.

[Pat]

All right. I got a question for you.

[Caller F]

Yeah.

[Pat]

What's something you're into that other people might find strange?

[Caller F]

Yeah, So I like sex with the woman. Clothes on or partially on? Check.

[Pat]

You like. Okay, let me just repeat.

[Mike]

You.

[Pat]

You like sex with women that have their clothes partially on?

[Caller F]

Yeah. Okay.

[Mike]

Why is that?

[Caller F]

All right, so sometimes you might see I'm married, so let's start right there. But my wife, I'm married for three years, so I'm used to seeing her naked. Country. So, like, there's nothing new I'm gonna see right now. But sometimes I might be wearing something sexy at the time. So in my mind, when we having sex, I like to be push up with it.

[Mike]

So you like to have clothes on as well?

[Caller F]

Oh, no, I could be naked. I don't care about that.

[Pat]

Like, what.

[Caller J]

What.

[Pat]

What clothes do you want her to keep on

[Caller F]

that night? All right, so say you get up a sexy dress or some. To me, you're looking good in the dress. Check. I want you right now in that dress.

[Caller H]

Check.

[Gene]

Then you get butt, ass naked.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying. Like, what is she. What is she doing while you're undressing?

[Jean]

Is she helping you? Nah, he.

[Mike]

He put his arms up on the wall. She taking his shirt off.

[Jean]

Don't you feel like it?

[Pat]

I don't know why I get the feeling like his girl is bigger than him. How big you 5, 2, 1?

[Gene]

34.

[Jean]

Holy.

[Caller N]

4.

[Pat]

God damn it. It's a gust of wind coming through your town. Be careful.

[Mike]

How tall is your girl?

[Caller F]

My girl shot like me, but, like, she. We had a bit more, so she had more body on her, so. But like, what you think?

[Pat]

Height and weight the way this girl is crazy.

[Caller F]

See that? Which problem they angle Mention that if you hear this. I know you know, I feel it.

[Pat]

She hear this?

[Caller K]

Yeah.

[Pat]

She gonna know your voice, though.

[Caller F]

Definitely better. So it's like, because we married, there's, like, nothing new essentially, to see and to keep a little spiciness like you might come from somewhere and you're in the mood, just grab it from there. Check. Yeah, I get that point.

[Mike]

I get it.

[Pat]

You're trying to keep it spicy.

[Jean]

Yeah, but.

[Mike]

But you keeping all your clothes on as well is funny.

[Caller F]

Oh, no, no, no. At most partial, but can't say for the. Just this. Not for me anyways.

[Pat]

Okay. Where are you from?

[Caller F]

I cannot represent Grenada, but I'm from Grenada.

[Pat]

You from Grenada? Shout out to shout out. No, yeah, yeah, I. I have it.

[Mike]

Grenada, yeah.

[Jean]

Grenada. Yeah.

[Mike]

It's island, right?

[Caller F]

Huh?

[Mike]

Grenada's the island, right?

[Caller F]

Yeah, island. The West Indies. Natural.

[Caller G]

Come on.

[Mike]

All right, bro.

[Pat]

Have a good, brother.

[Caller F]

All right. Say less.

[Pat]

Say less. Says the most American.

[Caller F]

Hello.

[Caller M]

Yo, yo, Sword.

[Mike]

What to do? What it do? What's your hot take of the week?

[Caller M]

Michael Jackson. The song Thriller by Michael Jackson is actually about crack.

[Mike]

Why do you say that?

[Caller M]

Like. Like the mic Ecstasy. It's all right. So if you go to the. The line where he says it's close to midnight, there's something evil lurking in the dark. It's not just about the whole zombie jump, you know, when you. You downtown, like Philly or something, you turn a corner, you just see somebody like tweaking and leaning, trying to walk towards you, asking a couple dollars.

[Caller I]

That's.

[Caller M]

That's mainly. That's mainly what that was about. There's also like the whole left, right, with this. With their hands. Whatever they do with their hands in the Thriller. Thriller movement, it's the same thing as a crackhead movements at the same time.

[Caller G]

And then.

[Mike]

Where have you seen crackheads dancing like that?

[Caller M]

When was the last time you saw a crackhead?

[Mike]

I haven't really seen one in a while.

[Pat]

No, you know, he right though. You right. Keep going.

[Caller M]

And then at the end when, like the end of the music video when he looked back, when he looks back and it's saying like, oh, it's just a bad dream. MJ looks back and his eyes turn to whatever demon wolf John that.

[Pat]

That is that.

[Caller M]

That he's trying to emulate in the movie at the same time when crackers be tweaking like they look at you some type of way. And it's.

[Caller F]

It's just.

[Caller M]

You got. You really got to deep it and you got to watch the video. And I know Mike wouldn't understand, but

[Jean]

like he wants you.

[Pat]

He won't Mike to go around more crackheads so he understand Thriller. Brother, you got to look him in their eyes.

[Mike]

I've never seen him cry.

[Caller M]

He really. Then you. You ain't you said. When was the last time I saw it. Yeah, I mean, I'm not from Philly, but, like, I just. I've heard stories and seen people out there. I've told me the same.

[Mike]

You guys are sticking up for this

[Pat]

dude, and I'm still. I'm still with you, brother.

[Mike]

I appreciate you. He's the type of dude, like, his brother was a drug dealer, and now he starts to claim that he's one.

[Caller M]

Oh, no, I'm a civilian, I promise you.

[Mike]

I'm just saying, though, that's the type of. That's the type of you're doing now.

[Pat]

I support him, bro. Tell us some more dumb.

[Caller G]

All right.

[Caller M]

Old people don't deserve technology. And not just regular old people.

[Pat]

I mean, like, foreigners.

[Mike]

And I say,

[Pat]

You always know, like, when people don't have a high iq, it's about to get racist.

[Caller G]

You're.

[Pat]

This might be do right here.

[Caller F]

Yeah. How y' all doing?

[Mike]

Pretty good.

[Pat]

Okay. Would you rather work your first job forever or marry your ex?

[Caller F]

Honestly, I probably marry my ex. She's my best eater.

[Pat]

Do you have. You have a girlfriend right now?

[Caller F]

No.

[Pat]

What happened between you and your ex?

[Caller F]

Oh, she married her baby daddy.

[Pat]

Oh, so she left you?

[Caller F]

Yeah.

[Gene]

That's somebody else. Best eater.

[Caller K]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caller E]

Hey, you know what, Pat?

[Pat]

I didn't say that. That was you.

[Jean]

That was Gene.

[Caller E]

So you.

[Caller F]

Pat.

[Caller G]

Hey.

[Pat]

Where's she at?

[Mike]

She not. He's not here. Why'd you. Why she break up with you?

[Caller E]

I went to jail.

[Mike]

Damn.

[Jean]

Okay. I like how he finding more. This nigga got layers. Great interview. Yeah. Why'd you go to jail?

[Caller F]

That's a long story.

[Pat]

We here.

[Caller F]

How about LA probation?

[Jean]

Why were you on probation?

[Mike]

One sentence. Just literally just be the. The charge. I. We don't need details right now.

[Caller E]

Unless it's really allegedly alleged possession with intent to distribute.

[Pat]

Allegedly. No way. How long did you do? I only did six months. Six months. And then y' all was together when you went in and she left you by the time you got out?

[Caller E]

Yeah, on and off, on and.

[Pat]

Oh, okay, got it. So she. And then she was messing with her baby daddy by the time you got out? She was with her baby daddy, I'm guessing.

[Caller E]

So I was with her when she

[Caller F]

was on and off with her baby daddy.

[Pat]

And she understand why she got pregnant?

[Caller F]

She was fired.

[Pat]

What's.

[Jean]

What's.

[Pat]

Like, what's the future looking like for you?

[Caller F]

I don't know.

[Caller E]

Hopefully get off probation soon.

[Mike]

Are you still on probation?

[Caller F]

Yeah.

[Caller M]

Damn.

[Mike]

Good luck.

[Pat]

Good luck, brother.

[Caller J]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Caller E]

Only 12 more years.

[Pat]

Can't even pop a willie as well.

[Gene]

Just go back.

[Pat]

Oh, God, I can't. I know how to ride dirt bikes.

[Caller F]

How? Broke my shoulder the first time.

[Mike]

You have a good one, man.

[Pat]

The most interesting, uninteresting ever.

[Mike]

Yo.

[Caller G]

Oh, Mike. What up?

[Mike]

What up?

[Caller G]

Oh, what up? Oh, what's up?

[Gene]

What up?

[Mike]

Welcome back, brother.

[Caller G]

Y' all remember me?

[Mike]

Come on now.

[Caller M]

You gotta.

[Mike]

You got the most recognizable voice.

[Pat]

Why he sound like that? Who is this?

[Caller G]

I'm. I'm the sexual speech person.

[Pat]

No, don't do that, bro.

[Mike]

He's the one that got to the accident.

[Pat]

Oh, man. Shout out to you, bro. Freaky talking,

[Caller G]

bro. Where's Kia? Just kill your gene there?

[Mike]

Yeah, right here.

[Gene]

What's good, man?

[Caller G]

Oh, Dean. What? Oh, my gang. What up, gang?

[Caller F]

What?

[Jean]

Don't do it.

[Gene]

They going.

[Pat]

Everybody was calling me a and a hoe for saying that. You talk like you got a special. A sexual speech impediment. But he got it from the accident.

[Gene]

Now he good. He good.

[Pat]

I'm talk.

[Jean]

I'm talking over this like he don't exist.

[Caller G]

They say, yo, she Mel. I can make a wish.

[Caller K]

Person.

[Caller G]

Person.

[Mike]

Hey, we did send you the merch, though.

[Caller G]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, big ups to you on that.

[Mike]

Come on. People think. They think if we just be saying stuff. Come on now.

[Pat]

We sometimes be saying stuff, but no, that's true.

[Mike]

I got a question.

[Caller G]

Yeah, see? Oh, yeah, I got you.

[Mike]

Take your time too.

[Jean]

He's never said that to a listener. Don't let him talk to you like that, bro.

[Caller G]

Get up, get up.

[Mike]

What's your hot take of the week?

[Caller G]

My take a week? Oh, I said I love dirty Mac. And bruh like Dirty Mac. I know a lot of people think it's like. Not, like, being mean or something, but I feel if you get. Feel weird about. What am I trying to say? Kind of. If you don't like Dirty Mac love. You think. Look, if you don't like Dirt Mac, it's just me. You're bum. You're a bum, dude, bro, but what.

[Mike]

Who you. Who you dirty macking against, though? Was it like your friends or like somebody you don't know?

[Caller G]

No, no, they were dirty making me and I. And I. I didn't think of Neil because I was like, yeah, I'm gonna show you. Damn, bro, my mom is here, so I gotta. I got sensor myself.

[Mike]

Y' all can talk nasty in here.

[Caller G]

No, no, she just left. I was gonna say I'm that. Then I was like, yeah, now I showed them. I'm that Bro, I'm that like, yeah, well, okay.

[Pat]

What was they saying that what classify as dirty maca.

[Caller G]

Just saying that I'm like, not. I'll be talking to other. Other side women and all that. And like, they're right. But that. That it wasn't cool to do in front of them when I'm trying to show my girl. My woman. My bad. Or a girl at that time, you know, I'm big about. You know, if they're under 18, you call them girls, but if you're over 18, call them women, you know?

[Mike]

Man, you almost scared me with the under 18.

[Jean]

The still scared me. I don't know. I don't know what's going on.

[Caller G]

Oh, oh, do I sound better now? Yeah, because y' all haven't called me like a year.

[Pat]

Yeah, you sound. Oh, you sound.

[Mike]

Because you've been doing, like, speech therapy and stuff like that, right?

[Pat]

Your voice is definitely less horny.

[Caller G]

Hey. Hey. Some of the comments like, did, though. Some girls, like, I was turning her on. I'm like, stay loyal, man.

[Gene]

Stay loyal.

[Mike]

What's. What's. What's your message to the ladies of the podcast?

[Caller G]

Oh, hey, if you need someone to talk dirty. Yeah, hit me. Hit my line, bro. I'm just like. I'm really just. I'm a chill guy. I'm a chill dude.

[Mike]

That's what you meant by dirty mackin. You talking about just like, dirty talking?

[Pat]

No, no, he likes dirty talking.

[Gene]

He said he don't like.

[Pat]

He's like both dirty Mac. He got dirty Mac and he like dirty talking.

[Mike]

Okay, okay.

[Caller G]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dirty two time.

[Pat]

All right, bro, not everybody will be mad at me. You can't tell me that wasn't no sexual speech impending.

[Caller G]

I want to say.

[Jean]

Go ahead.

[Caller G]

Hey, I got. I gotta say one last thing. Bad. You really cool. You know, at first I really didn't message you, but. Nah, you. Yeah, you a G, bro. I really with you, bro.

[Pat]

I with you too, bro.

[Caller G]

Big up to you. Yep. I'll see y'. All.

[Mike]

All right.

[Pat]

Horny talking.

[Jean]

I with dude, tweet of the week.

[Mike]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Pat]

Are you ready?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Somebody said an Adderall vape pen would go crazy.

[Mike]

Adderall. Yeah. Especially if it's like those like, fast acting ones. Like, you know how vape pens, if you do like, the weed pens, like, it lasts for like 15 minutes. I think in that. That sense you would kind of need it to like that simple rush.

[Pat]

It has to be super low dosage, though.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Like, it has to be like you Damn it. Take 10 pulls to get in the.

[Mike]

In what situation would you want to do that in?

[Pat]

Then the Adderall pin, it had to

[Gene]

be like a one time use thing like.

[Pat]

Yeah, take like an NZT pill.

[Gene]

Do not need that.

[Pat]

Like you just got pulled over and you got £300 in the.

[Mike]

Like.

[Jean]

Oh yeah, I do got that old, I do got that old gun under the seat.

[Mike]

No, no, I think I only took Adderall like maybe twice in my life.

[Caller I]

Life.

[Mike]

And I was in college and that I think, I think I had the. I wrote a 22 page paper over and I was in the lab, the computer lab from 7pm to 7am I was in that 22 pages, got that done Adderall and like a couple Red Bulls. Procrastination was a big thing in college

[Pat]

forever for everybody, man. You know what I used to do? Especially when we had them, like I, I feel like everybody had those. If you went to college, like 24, 25 page paper, no reason. Name all your resources, do all that. But you get to about like page, you know, you just got to get to 21 pages. Don't touch, just keep typing 21 pages because we about to stretch this out for another four. About to go in little double space right here.

[Jean]

Make it talk about. So don't let's I'm throw a picture

[Pat]

in this right here.

[Gene]

Right here.

[Pat]

This is what Gandhi look like if

[Jean]

you ain't no, no, that's him on the left.

[Mike]

When they say with those teachers that they have no heart to be like 50 paste paper, single space or some like that. Come on like, bro, what you doing?

[Pat]

They just want to make it hurt, man. A ain't nothing gonna take away from when you got stuffed in the locker when you was my age, man.

[Jean]

Just give me a fair shot.

[Mike]

It's all I or the teachers are like, they try to enforce the cursive because you know there was that in between. Like we, we, we. We wrote incursive, right? And there's like. I think some teachers start to realize like, all right, this is stupid, right? This is, it's only good for signatures.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And they just like, okay, it doesn't have to be cursive. But there was always that one teacher that made you like, no, this, everybody has to write incursive. Like bro, that's crazy. That's why I started making up my own like the way the G is on your legacy. I used to just do my GS like that just in general now because those only words on letters I Could type in cursive or writing cursor.

[Pat]

It just like. It's just too much freestyle and stuff that can go into it. I feel like anybody that's forcing anybody to write, writing cursive. Ancestors own slaves. No other way around it. I'll say somebody says, don't get me wrong, I love other people's business. But at some point, y' all have to realize it's not normal to have such strong opinions about celebrity lives. And I want to put this out there. I talk about celebrity lives a lot, and I think it's. Sometimes. I think it's fascinating, and sometimes me and Mike will be like, no, I think this, this. I think that. No, no, no. And I promise you, at the end of that conversation, we both acknowledge that we don't give a. And as long as you do that, you okay. But to, like, let it spill over into, like, social media and then turn into something violent is utterly crazy. Like, so crazy, bro.

[Mike]

Especially like. Like. Like, relationship stuff with celebrities, too. Yeah. I feel like we talk about more about the stuff they put out there there, you know, like the. The things they do, the things that happen to them and like that. But not like the, like, I'm never gonna talk about, like, money bag, yo, she's gotta leave Ari or something. Something random like that, you know? I mean, it's just like. I feel like a lot of people's lives are, like, super involved in that. It's just like, that's scary, but that.

[Gene]

So cringey.

[Pat]

I'm telling you. Like, there's not many. I'm pretty adaptable about, like, personalities I feel I can be around. But that personality right there, especially if you bring it up spontaneously. Like, I know you've seen the cardi news. Well, I didn't actually, like, unless it was, like, some major news. I'm not into the vlogs. Unless somebody gets found guilty or something, I'm out of it because I didn't see so much back and forth and apologizing from celebrities. I'm not sure what's real. I don't want to get roped into that. What if all this is a big cosplay.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And we just a part of it, you know, I feel like there's PR relationships.

[Mike]

Exactly. Or, like, the pr, like, beefs and like, that there's.

[Pat]

That there's definitely prb.

[Mike]

And then people are. Real life, like, beefing with each other because of that PR beef. And now it's like, y'. All. Now y' all have real friction when these are playing 2K together. They. They are on Call of Duty together, playing a video game.

[Pat]

I think this. I always knew that, but the streamer world confirmed that for me. Like, they actually do it right in front of your face. And sometimes streamers know like, hey, Pat, you not my audience. So I know you can see right through my. And you can see that I'm fake beefing with this dude, dude. But this 15 year old can't so stay the out my business. And that's why I put my hands up like, bro, you got it.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I'm not about to get online like, this is fake. I feel like that's even more low IQ than the people that believe it. You getting on here with some that's obviously fake and then telling everybody this

[Jean]

fake like, bro, get your ass out the way, man.

[Mike]

Did we talk about the people tweeting out of context videos?

[Pat]

Oh, yeah. No, not really.

[Mike]

Did we talk about that?

[Pat]

No, but I feel like we maybe had it maybe in Patreon. But, hey, good luck, y'.

[Caller J]

All.

[Pat]

The CTE boys, we back.

[Mike]

Come on. Repeat conversation.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, but no, it's.

[Mike]

It's getting out of hand.

[Pat]

It's definitely getting out of hand. And I think it's because Twitter is helping to get out of hand with the verification of different things. Like, Poly Market is verified. They rep people. They got a lot of money. They got a lot of ads going on, and then they'll say some, and it's like, damn, this is supposed to be a credible source. I even see, like, Bleacher Report is, like, technically trolling now. Complex Sports is trolling. Everybody's trolling now.

[Mike]

Legit engagement farming. Like, there'll be people, they'll say stuff to rage, bait people for views on purpose.

[Pat]

Yeah, bro.

[Mike]

And it'll get the view. It will get the view. It'll be, like, the most, like, simplest. And then I'll see the quote team that got, like, 6 million views and like that. You know, Twitter didn't used to be like that. It was just straight, like, retweets and all this other stuff. Now, like, people can see how many people saw their posts and their videos. And, like, that is that new incentive. That's why they try to take away the. The dislike button, because they just feel like people are, like, incentivized to the dislike people's videos they didn't like.

[Pat]

I don't like the ones that could be true. You know what I'm saying? Like, okay, you showing me a picture of Kevin Durant sprained his ankle, and then you misinformation be like, Kevin Durant out for the season. And I'm like, damn, What? And I'm. Now you got me searching 10 minutes for the next video and all the news, wondering where it's at. And, like, that.

[Caller K]

That.

[Pat]

But I really appreciate the. The Barry dude. The Barry McConkin dude, where, like, they troll. It's like, ball, sex, sports. Like, they're trolling, and the joke is in the troll. You just gotta pay attention, and it's fun.

[Mike]

I like those ones.

[Pat]

Yeah. When you find out. But the. The real ones, bro.

[Mike]

Like, some stuff about, like, serious issues.

[Jean]

Like.

[Mike]

Yeah, like, I'm like, okay, like, somebody's opinion about, like, an essay that happened and stuff like that. And it'd be like. It almost makes the person sound like they're agreeing. Yeah. With the. The guy and stuff like that. So it's like. Like, those ones are like, come on.

[Pat]

Now I realize where it comes from now. Hey. Some of it comes from people trying to predict the future and be right.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because we recently saw Hood Genius. Right? Hood Genius is a. He's a popular Twitter account, but he grew his page within seven days. Like, he went from like, 10,000 to, like, 200,000. And it's because people were pulling up tweets of, like, him being right, and everybody wants to be right. I remember I said Trump. Trump was gonna bomb Venezuela like, a month ago, and it was because I got it from somebody who wanted to be right. And now his followers just went up because now he was right the whole time, and he based his whole account off of it. It's just like, these people just putting out information, hoping, like, damn, it's gonna hit one day. Okay. This is a tweet I don't like.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Matter of fact, I know. I'm gonna see if you can see why I don't like this tweet.

[Caller G]

Okay.

[Pat]

With good hearts, got the worst tempers. They got 9,000 likes. A thousand retweets.

[Mike]

I don't know. Why don't you like it?

[Pat]

Because it's 9,000 with bad tempers that just.

[Jean]

Like that. They want to. They want to make it seem like they got a good heart. No, they. He right. You know what I'm saying? No, it's just 9,000 of y'.

[Gene]

All.

[Jean]

That's why I don't like the Internet. It's like, 9,000 bad. Like. No, they right, man. We got the.

[Mike]

I feel like it's not like that's admitting you have a bad temper is kind of like, that's like, A, that's a flaw. Having a bad temper is a flaw. I don't care how you put it, it's obviously bad in front of it. There's no way to make something say I got a bad temper, but my heart's good though. It comes from a good place. Like, no, like fix your temper.

[Pat]

There's nothing crazier than someone like having a flaw and telling you before you've seen the flaw.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And just like wait, you're telling me in a calm voice that you drive drunk?

[Jean]

You know you're not even drunk.

[Caller G]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Usually a sneak up on people like, damn, I thought I could make it home. I ain't mean to drive drunk. And you keep making the same mistake and then you have an intervention.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

But it's just like, bro, I'm calm right now. You never see me drunk.

[Mike]

I know you're good. Did you all hear something?

[Pat]

Yeah, it's construction going on.

[Mike]

We're going to be honest with you now. Before that would have stopped us and we were like, oh no, it's construction. Y' all hear?

[Pat]

My bad man. These days I had to check to

[Jean]

see what that was like A was getting his legs. That be so stupid.

[Pat]

Not. I would probably keep potting probably through you. But when they got to Jean, I'd be like, damn, I'm next.

[Jean]

Go ahead, get up out of there.

[Pat]

Would you rather God damn.

[Jean]

I didn't know the bone look like that last.

[Pat]

Last one, last couple. Somebody said, I cannot stress enough how important it is to lie to your co workers. And I think that is so true.

[Mike]

That is true.

[Pat]

Because usually your coworker co workers don't have common sense. Especially like looking at like where you work at like they can. A lot of people can be good at their job and not have common sense. You don't want to be at a team meeting and somebody was like, is anybody dealing with depression? And then your co worker point at you because you vented to them. Yeah, my guy right here.

[Mike]

Seven days straight. No smile. I can't even get a smirk out this guy.

[Pat]

No man, like.

[Mike]

But I think, I think it's also just not over sharing. I think that's like the main thing. I feel like with in any situation with people that are not really. I wouldn't call them your friends and stuff like that. There's some people that they want you to over share just so you can be in another group gossiping about what I just over shared.

[Pat]

Especially people have to be care. I want people to know you got to be careful about that.

[Mike]

What?

[Pat]

Your significant other.

[Mike]

Other.

[Pat]

Especially, like, with people that don't know you and you can't report to. Like, yeah, if I went to Gene, I can tell him something bad about somebody I'm dating. Just be like, this is such and such. He's not gonna judge that person he knows. Like, oh, you just vent into me. But if you barely know somebody, like, I'm. I've worked with women who, like, said bad things about their husband, and then you see him during the company event, you just like, yeah, man, y' all seem pretty happy to me.

[Jean]

You know what I mean?

[Mike]

Or I just know they're faking it. Then it's like, now you get to. You kind of see how they look when they're faking it.

[Jean]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Or they're lying to you because they

[Pat]

want you to, you know, look, my husband hate me. Meet me in the back. I am good also.

[Mike]

You gotta never. You don't trust those people who share information that.

[Jean]

Going crazy, whatever you're doing.

[Mike]

But you don't. You don't need to. You got to be wary of people that share information and tell you not to tell that information about somebody else. About somebody else that you. That's deemed their friends. And I'm not gonna lie. This has happened with more. With, like, the woman I've seen, right. They'll say, like, Michael Tate, But I'm just saying the sense of. Just from my experience, I'm not saying all women are like this, but they'll tell you about their. Somebody that deemed that that's their friend and information that they told. They'd be like, oh, this person is talking to this person, but she told me not to tell nobody. But. But I'm telling you, you. I'm like, I can't even. That means I can't tell you nothing.

[Caller L]

Yeah.

[Pat]

But in that experience, I will say to give women credit, like I always

[Mike]

do,

[Pat]

The deeper secrets women will keep forever. Not giving a dude your deepest, darkest secret. Man, take one drunk night

[Mike]

in that setting.

[Jean]

You know that kid?

[Pat]

Not that one.

[Jean]

It ain't this kid, bro. Yeah, bro. Give me another shot.

[Mike]

For no reason.

[Jean]

No reason.

[Caller G]

Salute.

[Pat]

Salute.

[Jean]

Y' all know who Jerry is?

[Caller G]

Yeah.

[Jean]

Y' all know Jerry. You know Jerry, the nicest kid.

[Mike]

But I've seen people, like, tell me people's, like, sexual orientation, like, what they like and, like. And they're not. And that person hasn't, like, come out as anything yet.

[Pat]

That's crazy.

[Mike]

Yeah. That's like, bro, that's why. Why are you telling me there's also some information I don't want to know. Sometimes it'll be like, oh, this person is cheating on this person with this one. Like, bro, I don't, like, want to be in that. That person that has that knowledge. Like, you know, especially if it's like a mutual type of thing. Now you're in a friend group, you know, like, this person cheating on. But it's like, you're not going to expose it. One, because you're not really sure. And then two, you don't want to be the reason why this ended. Like, I don't care that much.

[Pat]

That. That's the. That's the age I'm at. Yeah, I don't want to know. Like, don't tell me nothing. I don't want to feel bad for nobody. I don't want to know that his girl cheating on him. Now I'm supposed to be having a good time, and I see what would used to be my favorite couple in a movie theater. Now I know they not not real. This hurt.

[Jean]

I can't even concentrate on the movie. I don't even know what happened in Marty Supreme. I can't concentrate. Look how cute they look. He lied to him. Fake, man.

[Mike]

Especially, you know. You know, like, you ever seen that couple? And you know, like, you know that some shit's going down in a relationship or one of them is cheating, and then you just like, damn, like this. This might be their last time at dinner. And so you, like, literally, like, I could see this Pebbles like this. Y' all last date that's up. Especially when you know your boy's about to break up with a girl or some. And then you see the girl, like, out by, you know, and then she start telling about all the. All the plans that, oh, we're gonna go so many double dates. I can't wait. Do you still want to. Are we still doing Puerto Rico in March? And then you gotta look into that poor girl's heart and say, oh, yeah, I can't wait. Why? Knowing your friend is gonna break up with her tomorrow.

[Pat]

Like, this is the last them right before they head to Chicago for the breakup. You see her at Target getting the travel.

[Jean]

Oh, where y' all going? Chicago? Yeah, he told me I was going up there. Y' all still happy?

[Pat]

And I'm happy to see it.

[Jean]

I happy.

[Pat]

Well, that bad y' all gonna make it?

[Jean]

That's just my belief.

[Mike]

I really want to give him this necklace that my dead grandfather passed down, too. I'm gonna give him to him there. I'm like, oh, I'm like, not. Are you sure about that though? Like, he really like that type of like his grandpa died and too. So that might be a little too sentimental.

[Gene]

Yeah, he started something simple and he allergic to gold.

[Mike]

Yeah, like his, his, his turned green fake gold real good. Don't matter, bro.

[Jean]

And he's allergic to gold.

[Mike]

That should be so tough.

[Jean]

Bro, that is such a crazy lie. My is allergic to gold. And I hold with this information only. This, that, that, that's the biggest time for the breakup. She like, I should have known. So what's going on?

[Mike]

But as soon as you tell anything, if you ever lie to your friends, girl a big lie like that, the next second you guys, you leave that girl's present. You have to call your friend, you have to leave. Like, bro, I just saw your and I told her this, just FYI. Because some would do that and they just go about the days. Like they just tell the biggest lie on earth.

[Pat]

Just go about their day. Bro, when you see somebody maneuver like that, you got to get rid of them. Like everybody I've known that that's ever had like some big lie pending, they literally. I can see the panic in their face. Like, bro, I can't believe I'm in this situation. I gotta tell the truth. I gotta get out of situation. I'm like, yeah, you know what I'm saying? You even advise them, like, man, just get it all over with, do your thing and stuff like that. But then people that be having like three big lies going on and they

[Jean]

just look comfortable like people like, damn, am I in one of these lives or something? Too comfortable around you?

[Mike]

There are some like real high functioning cheaters out here, bro. Like, like with no worries in the world. I've seen like literally juggle five girls within like a 100 mile, 50 mile radius. And they move around like nothing's happening, bro.

[Pat]

That's good. In America, we got too much freedom to go on like different career paths, right? Yeah, I feel like other countries, they'd be like, hey bro, you really good at this. Stay on this path. So we literally got CIA agents as like now just. He just work at Amazon and he juggling six women and everybody like, how he doing it.

[Jean]

Got the skills, bro.

[Pat]

They got four households and on, on time for everything. Never miss a flight. Switching out phones, four passports.

[Jean]

Like you gotta do all this to cheat. Don't even got an llc. They got a fake id.

[Pat]

Last one, last one, last one. As soon as they get his leg, saw it off. Go ahead. I don't Know if y' all can hear that. Okay. Women be practicing witchcraft and still can't keep the. They want time to hang that up. Sabrina.

[Mike]

Hey, that's true.

[Pat]

That witchcraft is. Come on now. I would say it's more demonic than anything.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because it's altering free will. Right. And God wouldn't want that. Like, regardless of, like, what you believe in. Like, you shouldn't believe another human could put a spell on somebody, man. Thank God. Like, if. If I ever offended you and you're a witch, I am sorry. Like, let's just put it out there. So if you continue to do it, you doing to.

[Mike]

To.

[Pat]

To somebody that's sorry, bro. And Mike not stab his voodoo down right now.

[Mike]

Ruptured my Achilles again, bro.

[Jean]

No, that's crazy.

[Mike]

Imagine that was like, a doll.

[Pat]

What would you do if somebody did that?

[Mike]

What?

[Pat]

Like, if somebody, like, somebody showed up the day after you tore your Achilles and they didn't even know you tore your Achilles. They caught you at the airport and they brought you a doll that was shaped just like you, and there was a little slit in the back of the, like, where the Achilles that, like, what would you. What would you do in that situation? They just handed you the doll.

[Mike]

I'll take the doll. That'll be it. I'm like, hey, I. I asked the person, what did I do to you to deserve this? Cuz obviously, I must have did something crazy. If he tells me, it's like your universe ordained this, that this have to happen for all these other good things that happen, it's like, all right. And then I'll snuff the show.

[Caller G]

No real.

[Pat]

No real.

[Jean]

I don't know what the ass. Take life into my own head.

[Pat]

Worry about no goddamn witch. Put a. Put a mini gun in my voodoo dog.

[Jean]

Hold it up here. So this is a up here blast.

[Mike]

They already did it once. They could do it again in the airport.

[Jean]

Like, you got. I'd rather do life than let you control my life.

[Gene]

That's why you got to watch where you leave your DNA.

[Mike]

What you mean?

[Gene]

Like, you know, brushing your hair and stuff like that.

[Mike]

Oh, man. I thought about something.

[Gene]

Napkins at the restaurants.

[Jean]

Hey, Dodge witch. Watch me.

[Pat]

Watch where you come at.

[Mike]

That's exactly what I thought.

[Jean]

Make sure you cover your head. Don't be doing that to avoid.

[Mike]

That is crazy.

[Jean]

I know you. Oh.

[Mike]

Oh, man. Anyway, that's been the podcast again. Appreciate everybody that showed up to the live pod. We're gonna keep doing it. Let us know the cities. Comment. Comment. Subscribe to the YouTube subscribe to the Patreon.

[Caller F]

Huh?

[Pat]

Comment. Comment. Subscribe.

[Jean]

That was good.

[Mike]

Yeah, I'm trying, you know, I'm trying. I'm trying to. I feel like we need to just start, you know, call the actions.

[Jean]

Call the action.

[Pat]

Shout out to the first crew.

[Jean]

True.

[Pat]

Y' all know who y' all is? Yeah, Giving y' all shout. Shout out to my boy, Mo Hershey. Even though I was supposed to give hella shout outs, this all I can remember. I told y' all CTE brain.

[Mike]

Yes. Mo Hershey, give us a shot that we forgot.

[Pat]

Yeah, it was a girl.

[Caller G]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Shout out to you. You know who you is, but my horseshi.

[Jean]

He.

[Pat]

He's Somalian.

[Jean]

Yeah, I told you I knew what you look like,

[Mike]

y'.

[Caller I]

All.

[Mike]

Peace.