Beat The Allegations - Episode 268

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast – Episode 268: "Beat The Allegations"

Release Date: July 22, 2026
Hosts: Patrick Johnson ("Pat") & Michael Esiobu ("Mike")
Guests/Regulars: Carrie, Gene

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode typifies the Crash Dummies blend of wild real-life stories, internet-inspired hypotheticals, and crowd engagement. Pat and Mike—accompanied by Carrie and Gene for much of the episode—dive into viral social dynamics (from relationship "allegations" to social media larpers), react to listener dilemmas, and unpack their upcoming comedy/tour plans. The episode leans heavily on audience calls, hilarious call-ins about relationship drama, self-deprecating humor, and genuine debates over fame, content creation, and personal boundaries.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Podcast & Tour Announcements

• 00:46–03:36: Pat announces his upcoming live comedy show in Milwaukee (Aug 7th; outdoor, interactive, music, comedy “experience” - [02:46]).
  • Quote: “People always talking about we don’t do nothing in Milwaukee… Doing something in Milwaukee.” (Pat, 02:46)
• The Crash Dummies live tour and Patreon discounts are highlighted.
• Behind-the-scenes chatter about who gets invited to the pod/tour reveals a bit of group tension and good-natured ribbing.

2. Relationship Games & Social Media Trends

• 06:00–11:07: Starts with a “tweet of the week” about a man sending his ex a drink at a bar and “not hitting that anymore.” Leads to a discussion on accusation dynamics in relationships and insecurity.
  • Quote: “Don’t fret is crazy.” (Pat, 06:18)
  • Examines TikTok trends where women set up their boyfriends to see their reactions (“give him a hug” pranks).
  • Insight: The group explores how being wrongly accused can sometimes be amusing—but boundaries and context matter.
• 12:04–14:46: Would you take a free vacation if you weren’t allowed to post about it on social media?
  • Gene notes: “A lot of the things people do nowadays, they would not be doing if they weren’t posting it for social media.” (13:04)
  • “LARPing” (Live Action Role Play) is discussed in the context of social performativity—doing things just for the aesthetic.

3. Alcohol, Sex, & Drunk Behavior

• 19:04–20:58: The myth that “drunk sex is better” gets debated. Pat and Mike keep it real: alcohol often makes things worse—both functionally and in terms of judgment.
  • Quote: “Alcohol doesn’t make me better at sex. Actually makes me a lot worse.” (Pat, 19:37)
  • The risks and embarrassment of whiskey dick, and peer pressure around drinking are covered with candor and laughter.
• 24:25–25:18: Brief side track into shrooms and weed versus harder drugs—with the general consensus that strong comfort with your company is a must for any experiment.

4. Listener Call-Ins & Wild Dilemmas

• 27:05–43:40: The heart of the Crash Dummies flavor—audience phone calls with outlandish situations.
  • “Beating the Gay Allegations” (27:10): A caller describes the perception among friends that he’s “suspect,” mostly due to his actions like holding friends’ hands for comfort. His wife even “sometimes questions it.”
    • Hilarious banter and some uncomfortable silences ensue—with the hosts flipping between roasting and real talk.
  • Vandalized Clothes & Car Cheating (35:44): A female caller details catching her baby daddy cheating (using her car for another woman—leaving evidence like a bonnet behind), leading her to bleach designer clothes and shoes.
    • Quote: “I found a bonnet in my car… I gave him the excuse like, ‘Nope, this is his homeboy’s.’ You really didn’t want to know.” (Pat, 38:35)
    • Group questions how much evidence we overlook when emotionally invested.
  • Attempted Violence Over Cheating (43:48): Male caller admits he “tried to kill somebody” after discovering his partner cheating—with the guy even found sleeping under his bed.
    • Quote: “You know when you get that just that gut feeling that a [dude] right under you?” (Mike, 47:01)

5. Friend Zone Survival Stories

• 55:46–61:59: A long-time (nine years!) friend zone survivor confesses on air, sharing the “high school to adulthood” ongoing saga of unrequited love. Hosts probe: Did he ever shoot his shot? Was it just lack of confidence? What’s the cost of being a “nice guy”?
  • Ultimately, the guest admits he was rejected for “not being attractive,” but now is over it.
  • Pat: “Seven years to be around a woman and she don’t even know that you trying to shoot your shot is kind of weird to me.” (60:20)

6. Callers with Comedic Aspirations

• 66:39–71:46: One caller asks if he’s funny enough to pursue comedy. Amid a tough audition, Pat jokes about the perils of self-roasting and the importance of storytelling.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On asking for money:
  “To ask [a woman you're not with] for money… Even in my broke days, I'd rather sleep in my car.” (Carrie, 109:07)
• On clip farming & authenticity in content creation:
  “Clip farming authentically—maybe somebody adds some spice, but it started off for real.” (Pat, 91:54) “We could’ve been more popular if we clip-farmed, but we wouldn’t have lasted this long.” (Pat, 90:16)
• On podcasting after a $500M lottery win:
  “With $500 million, the love has a price tag. Like, why is a [random] calling me Micro Mike in the comments when I’m $500 million up?” (Carrie, 123:25) “The exact moment it goes down to like, ‘Damn, what do we talk [about]?’ We just get up and leave.” (Pat, 125:15)

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Additional Highlights & Funny Bits

• "Twin" slang debate (81:41–83:29): When is calling someone your “twin” a compliment vs. an insult?
• Philly $1 slang (84:17): “Yankee” or “Yank” used for a dollar in Philly, which the group finds odd.
• Social cues & houseguests who overstay (111:46+): Anecdotes about overstaying visitors, “layers coming off,” and how to politely get your house back.
• On boundaries:
  “You watch Twilight… and they say ‘Damn, I wonder what the next movie…’ No, I’ll get you my login—my [time here] is over.” (Pat, 113:04)
• Self-awareness in friendship is vital:
  “I can’t have a friendship with nobody without social awareness.” (Pat, 115:46)
• Ridiculous dentist tweet:
  “I hate that part at the dentist where they have to touch your penis.” (Pat, 119:15—with much laughter & disbelief)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Podcast/Tour Announcements: 00:46–03:36
• Tweet of the Week: Relationship Allegations: 05:57–11:07
• Social Media Vacation Debate: 12:04–14:46
• Drunk Sex & Consent Discussion: 19:04–20:58
• First Long Call-in “Beating the Allegations”: 27:05–31:48
• Call-in: Car Cheating & Vandalism: 35:44–43:40
• Call-in: Attempted Violence Over Cheating: 43:48–53:01
• Friend Zone Saga: 55:46–61:59
• Comedic Aspirations, Roasts: 66:39–71:46
• Slang/Twin/Philly Yankee: 81:41–84:46
• Clip Farming & Content Authenticity: 88:27–94:05
• Podcast after the Lottery / Money Changes: 123:00–129:40

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Tone & Style

• Language: Conversational, direct, explicit, with streetwise slang and comedic exaggeration.
• Energy: High, irreverent, and deeply self-aware, prioritizing authenticity—though not above a little "clip farming" when it gets the laughs.
• Chemistry: The hosts riff off each other, roast callers and one another with affection, and reflect honestly on both life’s dramas and the performative nature of content creation.

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Conclusion

“Beat The Allegations” is a chaotic, laughter-filled tour through relationship mishaps, internet challenges, group dynamics, and self-reflection on what makes content—and people—genuinely relatable. Listeners walk away entertained, a little scandalized, and perhaps just a bit wiser about not overstaying their welcome, taking shots they can’t handle, or believing everything they see online.

Transcript

[Pat]

Most of us are one good deal

[Gene]

away from finally replacing that worn out

[Pat]

rug, fixing up the backyard, or getting the bedroom we actually want.

[Gene]

Good news.

[Pat]

That deal's almost here.

[Gene]

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[Pat]

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[Gene]

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[Pat]

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[Mike]

Shop [e-mail] Wayfair Every style, every home.

[Pat]

Hi, Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Are you looking for a beach read this summer? May I suggest your big wireless bill? It's got suspense, mystery, a slightly flat emotional arc, and a shocking twist where you realize you've been overpaying the entire time. Fortunately, though, Mint's story is better. Every plan $15 a month even unlimited.

[Gene]

That's it.

[Carrie]

Happy ending, zero tears.

[Pat]

Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 months, $90 for 6 months or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than gigabytes.

[Caller]

Me slow when it works.

[Pat]

Busy C terms.

[Carrie]

Who would you say? Like, if you can rank our listening skills, where would you rank us?

[Gene]

I think it depends on the situation when we're here, like before recording, y' all both don't listen. But I'll say you listen more than Pat and I think Gene listens the most.

[Pat]

Don't care. Well, then don't care. Don't care. Don't care.

[Carrie]

Carrie legit had a whole nother person person on her pod after telling us to come on her pod and we said we're down and she had a whole nother entity.

[Gene]

I did because it was a little bit more timely. Y' all are evergreen.

[Carrie]

I'm for everybody.

[Pat]

Because we. Because we always available. You got that person.

[Gene]

No, you're not always available.

[Pat]

That's what you taking advantage of. Us always being available. We evergreen. We always gonna be there. That's not what that means. I know. I know what you are. No, it doesn't.

[Gene]

What do you know what Evergreen is? Yeah, it means it's good at any point. Good time.

[Pat]

Yes, exactly. We always available. I get them next month. That's what you're saying.

[Carrie]

But it's going to be the same. No change happening.

[Pat]

Soon as my Tyler hop on stage with lma now it's like, no, but

[Gene]

honestly, you said something that I'm not Going to put on here just now. Cuz I don't know if it's public yet. But you said there was something coming up that I think might be better for when we actually do my podcast.

[Pat]

Your live show? Oh, no. Toronto. We're going to Toronto.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Pat]

Soon. What do you mean, okay? You know, was like.

[Carrie]

Exactly.

[Gene]

I wasn't talking about that.

[Carrie]

He told his live show.

[Mike]

Right?

[Pat]

Talking about Tori.

[Gene]

Yes.

[Carrie]

Yes. Pat has a live show.

[Gene]

I don't know if you said it on here yet.

[Pat]

Me? Are you talking about my live show?

[Gene]

Yes.

[Pat]

What live show? August 7th in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. We gonna have the link in the bio. I'mma actually come out with a hard post. There'll be a link in my bio on Instagram. There'll be a link under the. The YouTube August 7th come out. It's in Milwaukee. So people always talking about, we don't do nothing in Milwaukee. Doing something in Milwaukee. Gene gonna actually be on stage playing music. We're gonna curate a vibe. It's gonna be a different comedy show. It's gonna be super interactive with the crowd. It's gonna be a comedy experience. It's gonna be so fun.

[Carrie]

Make sure y' all pull up.

[Pat]

Nothing can go wrong. And it's outside, too. It's outside? Yes, Outside. Backyard. The vibes are so dope back there. People going to love.

[Mike]

Can I?

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

Come on now. And also, we have our actual live tour as well. Of Christ Dummies. Live.com merch is available. Make sure you guys follow us on all platforms. July. What?

[Gene]

Nothing. Keep going.

[Carrie]

What was the face for?

[Gene]

Y' all are going on tour.

[Carrie]

Yes. Oh.

[Pat]

So what event are you talking about? Keep going. Go ahead. July.

[Carrie]

July. Patreon's half off. Make sure y' all get the Patreons half off.

[Pat]

Come get spanked.

[Carrie]

What are you talking about? We can't keep doing this inside joke.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Y' all are going on tour.

[Caller]

I did.

[Gene]

I wasn't aware.

[Carrie]

We literally told you we're going on tour.

[Pat]

Oh.

[Gene]

Will I be at any of these dates?

[Carrie]

You might be at some.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Carrie]

We gotta pick out.

[Gene]

I'm just wondering.

[Carrie]

I'm just saying.

[Gene]

They didn't tell me they picked dates,

[Carrie]

but we're going on. We're going to different states. And I'm not gonna lie. Women are expensive to travel with. Yes. Because we got this.

[Pat]

Listen.

[Carrie]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

You were a guy. Come on now.

[Carrie]

You saw the hotel we put you in when we. You came to Detroit show.

[Gene]

We were at the West End.

[Carrie]

Yes. Come on.

[Pat]

We got to put you up.

[Gene]

Wait a minute.

[Carrie]

If you don't. But if. You know, we didn't even stay there. We stayed at the Lesser Hotel.

[Gene]

Yes, Y' all stayed at the West End.

[Carrie]

No, we didn't. Swear to God. We didn't stay.

[Pat]

We stayed down the street. Yeah, we have, bro. It was a nigga that was. Slept under my bed the whole time. That's why we be our even. Get. Don't even get me started on the Baltimore Hotel.

[Carrie]

But if you. If you're a dude, you would have definitely. It would have been a Motel 6. Swear to God.

[Gene]

Y' all were there too.

[Carrie]

No, we. I swear to God, we weren't.

[Gene]

Well, I appreciate. See, I didn't know that. I appreciate that.

[Carrie]

I thought, you know, we all were there.

[Pat]

No, no, that's why I was wondering.

[Gene]

I'm like, dang, they didn't even come, like, kick it in a hotel or.

[Carrie]

No pregame.

[Gene]

We didn't.

[Pat]

Oh, you thought we was in that hotel.

[Gene]

Yes.

[Pat]

Oh, that's funny now. We left. We literally got to that hotel. Come on now.

[Gene]

Oh, I appreciate that.

[Pat]

They got us driving in that weak ass vehicle because it's the only vehicle we could take across the border. We all. We was all up.

[Gene]

That's crazy.

[Pat]

No, we good. We just had to. We had to grind that one out. That was the last show of the tour.

[Gene]

So, so much fun. So go get your tickets.

[Carrie]

That's not what we're doing.

[Pat]

Hello.

[Carrie]

The radio is for people who are driving.

[Mike]

I'll drive.

[Carrie]

Welcome to crash on these podcast.

[Pat]

Okay, somebody tweeted a week. I want to start off here. Somebody said, I seen my ex with her new at a bar, and I sent her over her favorite drink, walked up, greeted her and told, bro, don't fret my. I'm not hitting that anymore.

[Caller]

Oh,

[Pat]

don't fret is crazy.

[Carrie]

What do you even do in that situation? As the. As a guy, the receiver, as the boyfriend. The current boyfriend.

[Pat]

Got it. Night's over, right? He won because only reason that he will win, if she didn't notify me who that was before he came over, if she caught wind of, like, yo, I used to mess with that dude. Now I know when he come up, oh, you just want some attention. But if I'm finding out this information and he telling me, don't worry, I'm not hitting it no more, my mind automatically goes to the opposite. Like, why does that have to tell me that?

[Carrie]

But what if she didn't see him as she walked in, huh? Well, she didn't see him it depends

[Pat]

on how long I've been talking to a girl. Like, if that's my first date with a girl. Like, everybody got crazy exes. Okay, cool. He not over you. You dropped that. But if I've been talking to this girl for like a month and a, come up to me and say that, it got to be a darker meaning behind it. What do you mean? Don't fret, my.

[Gene]

Absolutely not.

[Carrie]

They could use a medieval term for you.

[Pat]

Fret. Fret, my nigga. I'm not hitting that anymore. What would you do if you was on a date with a dude and a girl came over and said, don't fret anymore, girl, why you not drinking your water?

[Gene]

What would I say? I don't know. I think I would ask him, like, what is that about? Have y' all seen the trend that's been going on on TikTok lately where a girlfriend has a boyfriend and she'll tell some other girl, let's say, in the restaurant, to come up to them and act as if they were just with each other that past night?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And give them a hug.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

They'd be like, give him a hug.

[Gene]

They look so guilty even though they're innocent. I don't get it.

[Pat]

Some dudes do a bad job. Like, I'm not going to lie. When I get accused of some shit that I didn't do, I don't know why I come off as so guilty. And even, like, in real time, I'm like, I can't fix my face. Somebody be like. It'd be like, girl, be like, you was with this girl last night, and it's just such a out of left field lie. I'm like, no, I wasn't. And I answer like that. Like, look at you. Why you smiling?

[Carrie]

Like, why are you so defensive?

[Gene]

It's actually.

[Pat]

It's actually fun to be accused of something crazy.

[Gene]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

You know you didn't do it.

[Carrie]

And you're great because the. Your confidence goes up when it's something that's like, so left field. Especially, like, All right, but this has nothing. There's nothing. There's nothing cheating in this situation. Like, just. It's a.

[Pat]

Make it say this, bro.

[Carrie]

She blames you. If she blames you. If she blames you for something and that's. And she's blamed for the thing that wouldn't get you in the most trouble.

[Gene]

That would or wouldn't.

[Carrie]

That would not get you in the most trouble. It's like. It's like, you didn't. You I don't know. You're. I saw you at the club last night with this person. You know, you weren't at the club, but you did something else that's wrong.

[Gene]

You laughing real hard for me.

[Pat]

You're right. I am laughing too hard. But no, it is funny, though. It just like, sometimes it's offensive, though. Like, I've literally got.

[Carrie]

That's that.

[Pat]

I've literally got mad at a woman for, like, accusing me of sleeping with a girl. And I'm just like, all right, now

[Carrie]

that's a little offensive.

[Pat]

Come on.

[Carrie]

I have. I've done that too. Like, in my past relationship, I was accused of, like, you know, talking to another girl. It was like, this one's a college. It was like holding hand in hand with a girl after class and giving her a kiss before class started.

[Gene]

And you were accused of doing all of that?

[Carrie]

I was accused of doing all that. And the girl wasn't good looking. So my first thing was to be

[Pat]

like, no, it wasn't good looking to him. To me, all women are beautiful.

[Carrie]

But so I was like. I was like, let's start. Let's start at square one. Like, that's a little offensive, but.

[Pat]

But the other. Sometimes the other offensive part is just like, okay, let's say I was in this room. You think I'm that stupid? Like, you think I'm that stupid? Like, some of the accusations would be like, somebody said you was behind a DJ booth and you was kissing on the girl. Like, oh, you think I'm dumb as fuck? Come on now.

[Gene]

I mean, I don't know how you are when you drunk, you know? And like, some people do some crazy stuff when they're under the influence.

[Pat]

I don't act any differently than when I'm thankful when I'm drunk. Like, as far as, like, pursuing a woman, there's nothing I could drink and just be like, oh, now I want to do this now. As far as, like, hey, you might catch me Harlem shaking in that. You might see me hit the Dougie if I drink too much during fiendish. That's a feed fee. Like, come on, bro, you can't do. But I'm just saying, like, my. My shit does not change, though. I don't like that. I don't even talk to people like that. That's the biggest red flag in dating to me is if a drug or a drink that you usually take changes your behavior. Like, that's crazy to me.

[Gene]

Yeah, no, you definitely need, like, rehab.

[Pat]

Like, I was drunk. I would take that if a Girl had, like. If I came to a club and then I saw a girl I was talking to hug on a dude that's like, she cheating on me or something. And she told me she was sober, I'll be more willing to talk it out like, yo, what the fuck is you doing? But if she drunk doing a shit, then I think like, oh, like, it's like some truth serum, you know? It's like something. Oh, yeah.

[Gene]

If she. Okay, you saying if she's drunk and she hugs a dude.

[Pat]

Yeah, if I had to get cheated on, it's. If I had to get cheated on. And they ask you, do you want the person to be sober or drunk? I'd rather them be sober.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Gene]

That's you. I don't know.

[Pat]

Because when they witness. When I kill that nigga,

[Carrie]

I don't

[Pat]

want you to miss this.

[Carrie]

All right, there's this. There's this clip, this question that was kind of going through the Internet. So here we go.

[Caller]

A video of someone asking if you could go on a free vacation, but you couldn't take a single picture or video to post on social media.

[Gene]

Would you go, no, I wouldn't.

[Caller]

Like, sorry, I know a lot of you guys are probably gonna lie and say yes. Personally, me, I wouldn't. I saw.

[Carrie]

There's. There's. And there's a lot of people that actually, I feel like they wouldn't take the free vacation.

[Pat]

I don't think so.

[Carrie]

There's people in the comments saying they wouldn't. I mean, just. She's the one that's saying she wouldn't either.

[Pat]

But people always get ballsy during hypotheticals. Everybody want to be super nice, taking the vacation. Like, bro, shut the up. If somebody gave you a free trip to Niagara Falls, you'll go, you little.

[Carrie]

But I think it was. It opened. It opened a broader discussion about, like, people only go on vacations to post on social media. Right?

[Gene]

Yeah, I posted that on thread. Not that, but I posted something similar on threads recently because I feel like a lot of the things people do nowadays, they would not be doing it if they weren't posting it for social media. So, I mean, that tracks people.

[Pat]

It's some people out here that's only liberals because of social media.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

They like what they call that.

[Carrie]

LARPing.

[Pat]

Is that Larman?

[Carrie]

Yeah. Like, you know what? I learned what larping actually stood for, too? Live action role playing.

[Pat]

That's tough. Yeah, they do larp. I'll be feeling like, you ever see somebody, like, they only share, like, when it's a major story. Like, they not active all year round on social issues and. And black lives matter type issues. But as soon as, like, a big case happened, now they want to be investigative all on this. Did you know all this shit? Like, man, shut up.

[Carrie]

No, I've learned before, too, on social media. Like, there was one time I was on vacation. Vacation, and I had a book with me. I don't read books like that. And I was, you know, on the little beach bed and shit, and I took a picture of the. The. The water and my book showing, too, for the aesthetic.

[Gene]

Were your toes in it, too?

[Carrie]

No, my toes was in it, but it was. It was for the aesthetics, though. I did read, like, a couple pages, though. But I knew in that moment, looking back, is that that's definitely larping. Like, I don't really be reading like that enough to post my book.

[Gene]

I'm saying I just don't like when people only do stuff for the aesthetic. That's so weird to me.

[Carrie]

No, there's a lot of them.

[Pat]

I forget to take pictures on vacations. Like, yeah, it'd be like, damn, that nigga Pat went to Aruba. And then it's just a picture of me with this. With the sailors.

[Carrie]

Like, yeah, I do. I do photography, so I love taking pictures.

[Gene]

You do photography? This is news to me. But keep going.

[Carrie]

You know, I do photography.

[Gene]

I've never seen your photography work.

[Carrie]

I had a whole photography page.

[Pat]

Yeah, he used to be one of them photographers. Not just, hey, I just want to see. Just let's get your whole back in the show. I feel like that shirt is blocking you.

[Carrie]

I didn't even do, like, pose pictures of people. I did more like street photography.

[Gene]

Got it. Okay.

[Pat]

A tweet of the week, Gene. Freaky, too. All right. Whoa, whoa.

[Gene]

That's how the baby got here.

[Pat]

That was crazy. Hey, G, ain't gonna lie. That's either a big clitoris or something else. Hold on.

[Gene]

Now

[Pat]

that's a joker style.

[Carrie]

Was gargling.

[Pat]

That's a big clip, right?

[Gene]

I think you just caught him off guard a bit.

[Pat]

I'm gonna save you in his gun. That's a big clitoris right there. Okay, Crazy.

[Carrie]

All right, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead.

[Pat]

Ain't nobody with my clip. I forget my back here. Okay, so when a tweet. So, like, give me advice on this.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

When a tweet says bitches in it, do I. Do I hold true to the tweet and say bitches? I don't want to say bitches. Or do I switch your word up

[Carrie]

and say, no, you have to keep the same tone of the.

[Pat]

I have to.

[Carrie]

Of the tweet.

[Gene]

I mean, for the purposes of, you

[Pat]

know, the tweet, let's say you say

[Carrie]

bitches in real life. So.

[Pat]

Come on, bro, you should let them vote in the comments. Do I say bitches and rely to who?

[Carrie]

I mean, not women. But you say to do.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying. Most of these niggas is bitches. Somebody said that before. I think it was Drake. All right, come on.

[Carrie]

You said. You almost want to say it one time, though.

[Pat]

Yes. I was just online. She almost made me relapse to 12 year old Pat. Oh, my God, this girl is like rage, baby. And she keeps saying, talking about, take your hat off. Take your hat off. Like, you got to private. You got a private. Account telling me to take my hat off. You won't even have a public account and you'll. You got a cat in your profile picture. I know you stink. I know you stink. Okay, it says. Well, I'm just saying. I just got done talking. This is my only chance. Want you to take 28 shots, then the out of them. I'm finna throw up.

[Gene]

You just did it, dog.

[Pat]

What?

[Gene]

You just down a whole bottle.

[Pat]

Oh, that's crazy. So you don't give a about my addiction. You just air me out. He recorded it. What are you talking about? He doing that for feet. Like that's gonna help me because.

[Carrie]

So he can remember.

[Pat]

But what you doing? Not helping. Okay, now everybody know.

[Gene]

Sorry. Help him, y'.

[Carrie]

All.

[Pat]

Everybody know I'm drunk. That's what I'm saying. Everybody know I'm drunk now. Everybody overanalyzing me for the rest of the pod. And thanks a lot. Thank you for that. Are we gonna acknowledge the tweet or what? Like, are we gonna podcast or what? Like, okay, we'll go to you, Carrie, since you got a lot to say. I read it again. They just want you to take 28 shots, then fuck the shit out of them. This tweet not about me, bitch. I'm going to throw up. What y' all got to say about that?

[Carrie]

I've never really had that, but I've been in a situation where you're talking with a girl, and they do offer a lot of shots. It's like, how do you expect me to be functional? But I'm. I'm the dude that throws shots on the floors, though, so I can't relate.

[Gene]

I've had to fake it.

[Pat]

Yeah, I've had way too much fun on my birthday to like the point I wake up. That shit sounded very ditty. I have way too much fun on my birthday. No, to the point where I like just drank a lot, you know what I'm saying, and woke up the next

[Carrie]

day and I actually saw a video the other day of you on my phone. It was like the little feature memory stuff like that.

[Pat]

Man, I used to get throwed for

[Carrie]

my birthday at your birthday?

[Pat]

My twenties.

[Carrie]

For real.

[Pat]

But y' all not answering the question, though. Y' all keep talking about being drunk,

[Carrie]

but it's like one of the situations I relate.

[Pat]

That's what I'm saying. Trying to say. My girl told me that I didn't even like, you know, I wasn't even awake enough to like, that's what. That's why I don't like, participate. That's my thing. Have you. Because I've been in situations where, like, I'm out and I can tell the woman that I'm with is buying me extra shots on purpose. And it just like, I feel like there should be a conversation that's had like before. Like when you get into like, yo, alcohol doesn't make me better at sex. Actually makes me a lot worse.

[Gene]

That's why I think it's overhyped.

[Pat]

Yeah, I think. Yeah. I hate people be like, oh, I want to have. Get drunk and have sex. It's like I need to roll out this window.

[Gene]

And that's how a lot of mistakes happen.

[Carrie]

That too.

[Pat]

Hell no.

[Carrie]

That too. Or you might not even be able to get started.

[Pat]

That's what's. That's. Come on now.

[Gene]

Oh, but mistakes happen too. People getting pregnant.

[Carrie]

I do, I do believe mistakes happen that never.

[Pat]

I haven't had whiskey dick before.

[Carrie]

You haven't?

[Pat]

No, but I had like, I talked a lot of about like having sex in public and a girl really pulled my car and like nothing happened. Yeah, that's that because she was on some. Like, usually when people talk about that, they talking about like a bathroom somewhere publicly or you know, somebody like they. They uncle's basement or something, but like, she's talking about like a library. It sounds good when you type in and text it, but then you actually go to the library with the girl. She like, come on.

[Carrie]

All right, we out.

[Pat]

Oh, you dead ass. You're a real freak. Like that. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I even indulged it. Just gonna do about a non fiction session. Yo. Let's take a quick break from today's podcast to thank the sponsor of today's episode. Cash App. Listen, you know debit cards are boring. If I could customize my debit card, I would probably put my signature on it. Something like, you know how pro athletes be signing stuff like maybe a silk, silver or black matte look. And if you wanted to do that with your debit cards, you can definitely do that with Cash App's own card personalization feature.

[Carrie]

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[Carrie]

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[Pat]

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[Carrie]

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[Carrie]

No, I don't know. Yeah, that, that, that definitely don't mix. Being high maybe.

[Pat]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Gene]

How?

[Carrie]

Lock in.

[Gene]

Oh, like you get focused.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You just, you're just better, you're more detailed.

[Carrie]

Yeah. But your mind does wander sometimes.

[Pat]

Come on now.

[Carrie]

Also random too.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

Come on now.

[Pat]

You know, change shrooms. See, I just, I feel like that's like, I feel like that's like a gateway drug to coke. I'm just, I'm just scared to take shrooms though. Don't shrooms make you think about like. Oh, like. No, not really.

[Gene]

It's the biggest difference between that and other drugs.

[Pat]

I haven't done like other drugs. Well, not like all of them, but

[Mike]

the one

[Pat]

Carrie throwing out a lot of allegations like alcohol? No.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Weed and the.

[Gene]

Would you say shrooms?

[Pat]

It's just a deeper experience. I would say like a more of like a mental experience, you know.

[Gene]

Is that the one where they say you gotta know who you around and be comfortable with them?

[Pat]

Yeah, for sure.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

I feel like it was any situation

[Pat]

in a safe space. You wanna know what's fun?

[Carrie]

I've been in college, I've been in a lot of uncomfortable situations. Just high. Yes.

[Pat]

Like bro, I literally smoked and like left the party because I thought was trying to jump me. Like, like just very paranoid. One thing I learned about being high in a relationship, you could have a time lapse into an argument and don't know how you got there. Like, you'll be high as hell. You chilling, you watching the show and you just. You just doze off. Like. So did you have sex with her or not? You like. Wait, wait. When we start talking about. Did I say that? Oh, the other thing I had to tell you. So the reason why Carrie think I'm drunk, because I put water in a tequila bottle and like, had it in front of her and I drunk half the bottle. But the funny part about the whole thing is, is that Carrie don't even know what water smell like.

[Gene]

That's not true.

[Pat]

You lie. The curtain felt what she said.

[Gene]

That's not true. No, that's crazy because it's still in the bottle. So the bottle itself still smells like tequila.

[Pat]

Just two things you would drink.

[Carrie]

She didn't want to try.

[Pat]

She said it's either water, tequila. I want either.

[Mike]

Hello?

[Carrie]

Yo,

[Mike]

le up. Hello.

[Carrie]

What's all that talking in the background, brother? Some people moving.

[Pat]

I would never answer a man question like that. Somebody asked me, what's all that talking in my background? I'd be like, man, shut the up and ask me a question.

[Mike]

All right, all right. Hold up, hold up, hold up. All right, get back on topic. What's up, crash compadres? What we talking about?

[Carrie]

If you had a Netflix documentary, what would be the title?

[Mike]

The title would be for my Netflix documentary. It would be how I. How I beat all the gay allegations.

[Carrie]

Okay, yeah, I guess, I guess. What's the plot?

[Mike]

The plot, bro. For real. So with that plot, it's just like. Like every time. Like I'll be doing stuff like homies love calling me gay. Homies and the girls love calling me gay. I'm like, bro, the plot would just be me proving them wrong.

[Carrie]

What are you. What are. What are the things that you're doing that they deem gay?

[Mike]

Well, today, homeboy held my hand. He was. I just wanted him to feel secure, so I held his hand on the spot.

[Carrie]

He just.

[Mike]

He wasn't feeling good, so I grabbed his hand for him. Damn, the silence is crazy.

[Pat]

No, it's not even really like. Like, are these actually allegations or just like you doing stuff to like trigger people to thinking that you're into that?

[Mike]

Hey, how are you? No, the deal allegations. My. My wife is standing right here. She. She. She tells me that I need to chill out.

[Pat]

Can we talk to her?

[Mike]

She's eating right now, so we know. What?

[Pat]

She not eating?

[Mike]

That's crazy. I could put her on the phone if I have to to prove y' all wrong.

[Pat]

We just want to talk to you.

[Mike]

I got you. I. Here, I got. I'll put on speaker. I put on speaker here. They want to say something. Y', all, these are. Crash.

[Pat]

Don't call us Crash. Tell him. Don't call us Crash. With that speech impediment he got. No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to talk about crazy.

[Mike]

Come on. No, no, no, I'm. Yo, say what you had to say.

[Pat]

No. So why. Why do his friends accuse him of being gay?

[Caller]

They act the same way.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. Do you think it's just, like, they're playing around, or do you think it's something else?

[Mike]

No, they gotta be playing around. I'm answering for her. They gotta be playing around.

[Pat]

Look, can we talk? We literally are talking to her, bro.

[Mike]

Just chill, all right, my bad, my bad. Here, finish.

[Carrie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Pat]

Why are you tweaking? This is impressive.

[Mike]

Yo, come on.

[Carrie]

You don't gotta let him talk to you like that.

[Mike]

That's crazy.

[Caller]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Pat]

Like, no, you literally. I feel like you scaring her because, like, why is she so quiet?

[Carrie]

Like, off the rip, just by hearing it? I know five. I got five friends that are way better than this.

[Pat]

Oh, boy. No, no, Mike. Tripping, tripping.

[Carrie]

What are we talking about right now?

[Pat]

No, I. Huh? No, you won't. We're ask. We're asking. We're asking your wife if she actually thinks that you're gay. Because that's the only thing that matters. Everybody else is just like. The allegations don't matter.

[Mike]

All right, answer. Hurry up. Because I.

[Caller]

Sometimes I question it, But I question his friends, too, but they all have girlfriends,

[Mike]

Okay? I mean, if I could prove y' all wrong, I could. I could get my other homeboy to tell you that we. We just joking.

[Carrie]

Yeah. Yeah. That's the way to convince us, right?

[Pat]

Put him on the phone. Put him on the phone. Put him on the phone. Where your other homeboy at?

[Mike]

I got you. I put him on the phone right now. I got you.

[Carrie]

Upstairs waiting for

[Pat]

him upstairs. Oh, my God.

[Mike]

Dang.

[Pat]

What happened?

[Mike]

Here, talk to them real quick, because they were asking something about Dylan.

[Carrie]

Okay, go ahead.

[Pat]

Oh, this is. Is this a wife? Is this Dylan's wife?

[Caller]

I can't hear.

[Pat]

Who is this? Who are we talking to?

[Caller]

I'm sorry, can you say that again?

[Pat]

Who Are we talking to who wife are you? Whose wife?

[Caller]

I'm Dylan's wife.

[Pat]

Oh, you're Dylan's wife. Okay. Dylan. Dylan's wife. Do you think it's suspicious going on with something going on with your husband and the other guy? We've been talking to the caller.

[Mike]

Guy got a name?

[Caller]

Kyle. He said, do you think there's something suspicious? No.

[Pat]

So.

[Mike]

But I think not.

[Pat]

But how would you describe.

[Carrie]

How would you describe their. Their friendship?

[Caller]

They're good friends.

[Pat]

Oh, they. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. But why does the other wife suspect something and you don't? Do y' all not. Y' all not on the same page with that?

[Caller]

I guess not.

[Gene]

Okay. I don't know

[Pat]

who else they be at more.

[Caller]

I live in a cardboard box.

[Pat]

No, I said who else do the. Do the guys be at more?

[Carrie]

They'd be at Kyle's house or Dylan's house.

[Mike]

More.

[Caller]

They're at Dylan's house. So you all hang out as a group.

[Pat]

So your house because you're Dylan's wife, right?

[Mike]

Of course.

[Pat]

Then why you say Dylan's house?

[Caller]

Why not?

[Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Caller]

You asked the question like that.

[Gene]

So you said Dylan's house.

[Pat]

After talking to the wise. I get why these, though. I get it. They hate their wives.

[Mike]

Y'.

[Caller]

All.

[Pat]

Both of y' all annoying as hell. The whole group?

[Carrie]

The whole group.

[Mike]

That's crazy.

[Pat]

I'm mad I met any of y'.

[Caller]

All.

[Pat]

Like, it's crazy. What the.

[Carrie]

Oh, man, y'.

[Caller]

All.

[Pat]

It's just y' all four hanging out right now.

[Mike]

Yeah, we were helping my boy move.

[Pat]

So. Who moving?

[Mike]

Dylan.

[Pat]

Why the. Is Dylan not there?

[Mike]

Dylan. He's in the U haul, bro.

[Carrie]

Oh, man.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Carrie]

All right, bro.

[Pat]

We gonna get out of this situation.

[Carrie]

Y' all have fun moving.

[Mike]

Yeah, you too. I wanted to shout out the pod, bro.

[Carrie]

Like, y'.

[Caller]

All.

[Mike]

Y' all been doing y' all stuff. I've been listening for a minute now. Head to the show in Boston.

[Carrie]

Oh, fire. Bring Dylan, bro.

[Pat]

Shout out to Boston.

[Mike]

Bring Dylan. I got you. I'm gonna bring Dylan. Me and Dylan, me and my boy.

[Carrie]

Yeah, Just date night.

[Pat]

All right, man.

[Carrie]

You have fun.

[Mike]

All right, bro.

[Carrie]

Yo, yo, I know y' all gonna come back.

[Pat]

What?

[Mike]

I know y' all come back because I'm not working right now. I ain't feeling my phone.

[Pat]

Oh, you telling us useless ass information. I could barely hear you, though. It sound like you got or something. Yeah, I could definitely see. I could definitely see why we couldn't hear you either. You got a little it's like he cut his words short or something.

[Mike]

Damn. Was it my accent or something?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. Where are you from?

[Mike]

Texas.

[Pat]

Okay. It's funny when you find out where somebody from and then now I can understand them. I get it now. Okay, I got you. I had a question for you. What's a terrible habit you've had for years? That was the first. That's the first question. Give me a break.

[Mike]

Yeah, I can't stop cheating like you feel me. I love that you feel me, but I'm just greedy and.

[Pat]

Come on, man.

[Mike]

That's my little and everything, right?

[Carrie]

But my little.

[Mike]

And I just can't eat the same food every day.

[Pat]

This is our first caller of the day. So it's a good, good warm up. We just had to make sure our equipment was working. Good looks, bro. Look. Hey, headphones working, mic working. We good? Oh, that's working. Test it tested. Say something like, make sure your bike working.

[Carrie]

My check, My check.

[Pat]

Okay, we good. We good. Appreciate you, bro.

[Caller]

Hello. Hey, what up?

[Pat]

What up?

[Caller]

How are y'?

[Mike]

All?

[Carrie]

Pretty good. Pretty good.

[Pat]

Happy international woman century to you. Starting this episode off right.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Yes, thank you.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. I had a question for you. Okay, hold on. Let me make sure I get my record. What's the most insane thing you've done because your feelings were hurt type?

[Caller]

I ripped up all my baby daddy clothes and shoes and bleached them.

[Carrie]

Can I ask what he did?

[Caller]

Yeah, he cheated on me.

[Carrie]

What else did he do?

[Caller]

Okay, what really set it off is I found out. I found out the bitch was working with him, and he had the girl in my car picking the girl up and taking the girl to work in my car.

[Pat]

Do you have. Do you have any accessories in your car that would say, like, this is a woman's car?

[Caller]

Yes. Oh, my gosh. Patrick. So I had, like, little seat belt covers or whatever. So when in, like, a little steering wheel. A steering wheel cover, too. So whenever I got back in my car, I'm like, why do you keep taking off my steering wheel? And he's like. He's like, bro, I'm not trying to ride around with no girl stuff or whatever.

[Carrie]

And then. Honestly, that's not a terrible excuse, though.

[Mike]

No, no, no.

[Pat]

You keep this her car. Keep her on.

[Caller]

Exactly, bro. And then another thing, like, my seat would be like, lean back all the way. So I'm like, who the hell you be having me in my car? He worked night shifts, so I'm thinking he'll, like, go to sleep in the car or something. But no, this was in my car

[Pat]

the whole time and she was laying down in your. No, no, you deserve it. But I was gonna get on your ass about touching people property and like that. But he got, he got somebody landing your passenger seat. She probably farting and like, come on, man.

[Caller]

Right? And mind you, I had found a bonnet in my car too.

[Pat]

So I'm just like, oh no, they're so relaxed in there. But as far as rocks, maybe. Wait, he. The bonnet?

[Carrie]

Nah, that's crazy.

[Pat]

How the he do that?

[Carrie]

That's a different level of like being comfortable.

[Pat]

No, you just.

[Caller]

It wasn't like in the car. It was like in the trunk.

[Carrie]

But dude, like, because I was like

[Caller]

cleaning up my car.

[Carrie]

Dean asked a good question though. One, the first question was, does he have like braids or anything?

[Caller]

No, but he didn't need a bonnet sometimes. Sometimes. But he got a homeboy that has dreads and I done seen him with like a bonnet on before, so I thought it was like his homeboy bonnet or whatever. Because you know his homeboy.

[Carrie]

So you were coming up with, you were coming up with the excuses for him. He didn't even like have an excuse.

[Caller]

Like, what you mean?

[Carrie]

Like you just said like one of his homeboys had a bonnet. Like would wear a bonnet sometimes.

[Caller]

Yeah, because when I first found it before I found out he had a. In my car, I found a bonnet and I'm like, who bonnet is this? Cuz I don't have no big ass bonnet like that. I just thought it was his homeboy that had the dread.

[Pat]

So you said it yourself. He didn't even have to say that.

[Caller]

No, I had. After, after everything happened, I put two and two together and I'm like, you

[Pat]

should have put, you should have put one and one together.

[Caller]

You.

[Pat]

You missed this stuff. You found a bonnet in your car and just. And you gave him the excuse like, nope, this is his homeboys. You really didn't want to know.

[Mike]

It was like a long.

[Caller]

It was like a long bonnet. So it was like for somebody to have long hair. So I'm thinking, you know, his friend had long dreads. I'm thinking maybe this is his bonnet

[Pat]

in your car with your car seats off in the trunk. He throw everything in the trunk. He put the bonnet next to the car seat. Crazy.

[Caller]

But I didn't expect that from him, so I was giving him the benefit of the doubt.

[Carrie]

But you never like brought that up to him though, about the bonnet.

[Caller]

Oh, yeah. After I found out everything, yeah, I confronted it, but it's too late.

[Pat]

For that. The information useless because you found out he cheated. So cheat is the worst thing you could have found out the bonding. Maybe he ain't hit yet.

[Carrie]

How'd you officially, like, find out that he was cheating? Yeah,

[Caller]

I had with the response. I had seen, like, a notification, and it was like, oh, thank you, baby. With a kissy face. It was an unsaved number. I'm like, who is this? I don't know. One of your friends. Not. No. Because his mom number would have been saved. And I know his mama number.

[Pat]

She's like, she got that long.

[Caller]

I looked the number up in cash app and I FaceTimed the girl, and the girl told me everything.

[Carrie]

Oh, she didn't know about you.

[Caller]

Actually, the bitch knew who I was. Yes, she did.

[Carrie]

She did.

[Pat]

She think y' all was broken up. Like, what was her story?

[Caller]

Yeah, cuz he was telling her, like, oh, yeah, that we wasn't together and the car is his. I'm like, that's not your car.

[Pat]

That car. You with that car. That's your baby and you. He was.

[Gene]

He was.

[Pat]

He was in it.

[Carrie]

He was stunning. That. What type of car was it?

[Caller]

AIA. K5.

[Carrie]

Oh, yeah. He. Oh, my God.

[Pat]

Oh, I didn't even. Man. Yeah, yeah, he was definitely that. That K5 got a lot of room. And y' all got the little. Y' all got the little fireplace on there, too. He probably had that. The fireplace app playing on that while he was knocking.

[Caller]

I don't even know, but I crashed out and I guess.

[Carrie]

Nice.

[Pat]

Knocking a bonnet off her ass. I can't believe him.

[Caller]

Y' all that have my feelings. Hurts.

[Pat]

Was it get back good, though?

[Caller]

I kind of blacked out. I blacked out.

[Pat]

You up his Gucci shirt?

[Caller]

Yeah, that's my baby, huh? Yeah, he had a whole bunch of designer stuff. Wait. I was kind of mad, cuz he had this one Gucci hat that I always wore, and I was kind of mad. I missed that.

[Pat]

I know, I know. We a hear what we just heard. She did say that maybe she. I know y' all not you.

[Carrie]

Hopefully it's the car.

[Pat]

The car is your baby, not him. You. You done with him, right?

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah, we done. We done now. It's kind of sort of.

[Mike]

Yeah. Oh, man.

[Pat]

He still got the K5. He's still driving around in that bit. He just got to keep on the dash cam and.

[Caller]

Yeah, no, no, no. He got his own car now, but.

[Pat]

Oh, no. Oh, so now you can cheat in peace.

[Caller]

We not together no more, though. But you know how that Bab. Baby daddy stuff. Be that dipping in that.

[Pat]

Oh, y' all got a kid together. That is what she said.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

We too deep into y' all business. I wouldn't even be asking all these questions after you had a kid together.

[Caller]

Yeah, okay. That's what made it even worse. I'm like, how could you?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. It's tough to talk about. No, I'm glad you ain't leave with that.

[Caller]

Not to laugh at it. Now we be laughing about the now.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. He be laughing, too. What the you talking about, girl got your ass.

[Caller]

It's like I could laugh, but he be laughing too hard. I give him that look like, yeah, I had to.

[Pat]

Funny as hell.

[Carrie]

That probably had every seat in there flat.

[Pat]

No, he. I just want you to know that, you know the part that opened up from the back seat to the trunk? He had. He was her in there. He was. He had her do.

[Carrie]

There he was. He was. He probably had her like. He was probably holding her, like, holding her like a baby and did a little foot swipe under the thing to open the trunk.

[Caller]

Oh, my God. Hunched or nothing like that.

[Carrie]

But I don't believe that she was

[Pat]

giving him head while his head was out the sunroof. He was looking around.

[Carrie]

Now we dragging it. We dragging it. We're not going to keep laughing at your. Your shortcomings, but. Yeah, all right.

[Caller]

No, it's okay. It's okay.

[Pat]

No, you said. She said she laugh about it. We just helping her. She over this.

[Caller]

Yeah, yeah, it's good.

[Pat]

You dodged a bullet. You could have married that, right?

[Caller]

I thought I was, but.

[Pat]

Exactly.

[Carrie]

There's still hope.

[Pat]

No, she don't need that man.

[Carrie]

There's still hope.

[Pat]

Find you a man that won't somebody. And he like this. Come on, now.

[Carrie]

You have a cool one.

[Mike]

All right. Hey, what's up, Mike?

[Carrie]

What up? What up?

[Mike]

What's up, Pat? How y' all doing?

[Carrie]

Pretty good. Pretty good. We got a question for you. What's the craziest. What's the craziest thing you. What's the craziest thing you've done because you got your feelings hurt?

[Mike]

Craziest thing I've done because I got my feelings hurt was when I tried to kill somebody.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Mike]

And back to back, I can say try. What's happening?

[Pat]

No, go ahead.

[Mike]

Oh, no. I was like. And I. And I can talk about it because I ain't do it, you know, but so a couple years ago, found out my baby mom was cheating and whatnot. You know, the typical. And I come home from work and she's acting real weird. You know, this and that.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

Before, I don't want to ruin your story, but it sound like maybe you outside, a lot of wind going on.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, my bad. Here, let me. Let me move.

[Pat]

This is. You got to be short or something to win. Smacking the out.

[Mike]

Hell no. Hell, nice. This. I'm only 5 8.

[Pat]

I'm only.

[Carrie]

He knew he was short,

[Mike]

though.

[Pat]

Yeah, you can tell he's short because the wind hitting that differently that it gets stronger down there. Go ahead.

[Mike]

I know.

[Pat]

Start over.

[Mike]

Okay. All right. All right.

[Pat]

So wait, what do you call me? He called me ashy.

[Carrie]

He said dusty ashy.

[Pat]

Oh, he black. He got to be black. Like calling me ashy.

[Mike]

I'm Mexican, so close enough.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. That's not close at all, bro. You Mexican.

[Mike]

I mean, my hair sticks, so.

[Pat]

No, you got it, bro. You could be ashy too. And ugly. Come on. Athletic Brewing Company crafts award winning non alcoholic beers for those who want to be part of every round. With over 185 flavor awards, they're exceptional NA beers that fit your lifestyle and any social occasion. Summer's full of good times and Athletic fits right in. Go to athleticbrewing.com to have brews delivered to your door or find them at a bar, restaurant or store near you near beer. Athletic Brewing Co. Fit for all times.

[Mike]

I ain't ugly. All right? I got two kids. I ain't ugly. But so, yeah, the craziest thing I did was my baby mama was cheated on me. So I tried to kill the dude and I came home and she was acting real weird due to sleeping under my bed.

[Pat]

Sleepy. Wait, sleeping? Or is he hiding?

[Mike]

Yes, no, sleeping. This. Cheated on me with a homeless dude. You know how bad you got to get your feelings hurt?

[Carrie]

Like homeless homeless.

[Mike]

Like, so he was. He was. He would do a lot of drugs. You ever meet a. That has a house, but they're still just outside on some dumb. He was one of those. He was cosplaying. Homeless.

[Carrie]

Got it. Got it. So you found him sleeping under your bed.

[Mike]

I'm sleep under the bed and I. I go into the other room, I get a shovel and I come back.

[Carrie]

Is that your weapon of choice?

[Mike]

That's the. That's the first thing I had. That's the first thing I had.

[Pat]

How did you know he was under the bed?

[Mike]

So I'm sitting. I come home and I'm sitting on the bed and whatnot. And you know when you get that just that Gut feeling that a digger right under you. Yeah. You know, like when you feel like somebody's around you, but you can't tell whether you. That. And some told me, like, little voice in the back of my head said, look under the bed.

[Carrie]

So you didn't even wake him up? Nothing. You said, let me go grab my shovel.

[Mike]

Oh, he. He would have stayed asleep. I wouldn't even. I wasn't even trying to give him the chance to wake up. But by the time I came and got the shovel, she locked the door. And this is where I up. I was angry. In the heat of the moment.

[Caller]

It.

[Mike]

I went for my shovel, but my gun was in the bathroom in the room. Lucky for me, she didn't know how to use it. She pulled it on me, but she didn't know how to use it.

[Pat]

Oh, she put it on you. She was protecting her, man.

[Mike]

I mean, yeah, she was protecting him, man.

[Pat]

You knew she loved her. She didn't want that to go home. She said, get under this bed. She wanted that bad.

[Carrie]

So he went under there to hide, but then ended up falling asleep.

[Mike]

Sleep well? No, he did drugs. He was doing them. Them perp sets.

[Pat]

No, he was tired from all that sex he was having. Said, I can't even move, baby girl. I got a crash.

[Carrie]

But under the bed is just wild.

[Pat]

Now, how long was he squatting under the bed?

[Mike]

Probably a few hours.

[Pat]

He wasn't living there. Bro, this might be the worst story I've ever heard. This is up, bro. And I feel so bad for how.

[Carrie]

You know. As you know, she pulled the trigger on you.

[Mike]

You. No. Well, because she. I saw her. She came out. She came out the room with the gun pointed at me, and she's sitting there. She couldn't even put the magazine in right. She was sitting there trying to put it in backwards.

[Pat]

Oh, my God, bro, you almost got

[Carrie]

shot at over a homeless person. That's kind of crazy.

[Pat]

That's crazy. So what did he say? So where was he at when she was pulling the gun?

[Carrie]

Was.

[Mike]

He was nodding off. He was. He was literally knocked out off them damn pills.

[Pat]

Oh, wow. So he was still knocked out while you and her arguing?

[Mike]

Yeah, he's a little Percocet head.

[Pat]

A little pill that was still sleeping while all this going on. That's crazy.

[Carrie]

So how. How the situation ended, like, diffusing.

[Mike]

I left.

[Carrie]

Okay?

[Mike]

I left smart. I left. I thought about it, and I'm like, you know what? This and this. This dude ain't worth it.

[Pat]

We'll allow it. You can call her as many B words as you want.

[Carrie]

Want?

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. No, no, she. She gets that pass. She gets that path. I don't know if I don't know how you.

[Carrie]

How'd you almost kill him, though? Because you don't know what he would have done to you.

[Mike]

I mean, I would have just.

[Carrie]

He grabbed his shovel. That was it.

[Pat]

No, but. But if he would have got to the dude, it wouldn't have been no competition. Dude was passed out.

[Carrie]

But it still has to do the act of using the shovel, though.

[Pat]

He would have hit the dude. I. I guarantee he would at least get one hit in. Don't you? Mike don't believe in you.

[Mike]

I would have beat the. Out of him.

[Carrie]

I believe you would have beat him up. I don't know if he got it in you to kill him. Everybody swear they kill her.

[Mike]

You know, he's in my house. Why would I not.

[Pat]

Yeah, I don't think you would have did it now either. You ain't.

[Mike]

Probably not.

[Pat]

It's probably good you don't.

[Carrie]

That's what I'm saying. Not a bad thing that you wouldn't everybody be taking offensive sometimes. I don't think you're a killer.

[Pat]

Did you have a kid with. Do you have a kid with. You have a kid?

[Mike]

I wouldn't be kids with her.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah, I think she dead, though, last I heard.

[Caller]

Who?

[Mike]

My baby mama. Hello. Yeah, I found out on Thanksgiving. Are y' all quiet again? Wait, I know my.

[Carrie]

You never had no conversations with her before that?

[Mike]

About what? About her cheating, about her livelihood.

[Carrie]

Like, that's the mother.

[Mike]

Your kids? Oh, well, we. We haven't been in contact. That was back in like 2021, so.

[Carrie]

And then she don't see the kids.

[Mike]

I left. They got there. They moved out of state.

[Carrie]

Oh, so you don't see the kids?

[Mike]

Kids? No, I don't. Happens.

[Carrie]

So who has the kids now?

[Mike]

Her parents. But they get. I do my child support and all that. I. I'm a lot of. But I ain't a bum.

[Pat]

But you don't want to see the kids?

[Mike]

Well, I do. Of course I do.

[Pat]

Why don't you go see them

[Mike]

as soon as the. The I love. Well, after all that, I lost custody. So the thing. It's like a six. Six to eight year thing. In six to eight years, I can. I can file to. To get them back.

[Pat]

What about, like, contact, though? Do you call them?

[Mike]

I call them here and there. Yeah.

[Pat]

I'm gonna just stay out your business. This is like, weird situation. So you left. So who Decided to leave. You left her? You didn't want any contact with her? Or did she want. Not want any contact contact with you after.

[Mike]

So after all that happened, I left. I never went back. And she. She just dropped the kids off with her parents and just left.

[Pat]

Also, the kids weren't even with her at the time.

[Mike]

No, the kids weren't. The kids weren't at the house. They were think if. If she had brought him into my house with my kids there. Oh, I would kill both of them.

[Pat]

Got it. Hey, man, just. Just make sure we take care of the kids.

[Mike]

Oh, that's the number one thing. Like I said, that's why I ain't do it. Because if. How can I take care of my kids if I'm in prison? Also, I don't look good in orange. Also, why I don't do landscaping.

[Pat]

All right, because.

[Mike]

And another thing, Mike.

[Carrie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Pat]

Oh, this a certified killer.

[Mike]

Now, why were you dressed like the club scene from the hot chick a few episodes ago?

[Carrie]

What was I wearing? I said this name. What was I saying? Make a note of that, J. What was I saying, bro?

[Mike]

No, you were dressed like him. You ever see the hot chick Rob Schneider?

[Carrie]

No.

[Mike]

When he got the little cut off shirt. Dressed a little. A little zesty cut off shirt.

[Carrie]

I was wearing a cutoff shirt shirt.

[Mike]

You're wearing a sleeve this shirt.

[Carrie]

That was not me, brother. Erase this again.

[Mike]

Happen. It happens.

[Pat]

Wait, are you talking about me?

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, yeah. I was wearing a cut off.

[Mike]

Well, no, I mean, I can tell when it's Pat because Pat's always dressed like a stud.

[Pat]

Oh, well, don't studs dress like me? Hey, man, shut your ass up. That's what I do. Was this out your wife and that's why you lost your family? You my dad. You go low, I go lower. Go get your shuffle. Go get your kids back, ho ass.

[Carrie]

All right, man.

[Mike]

Mike Tyson looking ass.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kids, kids, kids, kids.

[Carrie]

Another fatherless child. Yo, welcome to Crash Dummy's podcast. What up, bro?

[Pat]

I'm 29, bro.

[Mike]

29. 30. He round up over here.

[Caller]

I'm pushing that too.

[Mike]

I'm pushing that too. Don't worry.

[Carrie]

How old are you?

[Mike]

Huh?

[Carrie]

How old are you?

[Mike]

26.

[Carrie]

God damn.

[Pat]

Not pushing, bro. You young.

[Carrie]

No, look, the reason speaker Sound.

[Mike]

Speaker. Sound Gucci.

[Carrie]

You're good. But this look like he. You look like you like, 40, bro.

[Pat]

Oh, you look older than me, bro. You know, this looks 50. Holy. Is he you from New York?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

All that goddamn. All that goddamn training you doing. You need to slow down thinking cortisol

[Carrie]

levels are high as hell.

[Pat]

I got a question.

[Mike]

I'm actually a way to go train right now.

[Pat]

Chill out, man. Stress going to your face.

[Mike]

Ah, that's funny.

[Pat]

No, no, no, I'm chilling. I'm chilling. It's like you to hurt me or some. What's something you did for love that you'll never do again in.

[Mike]

I sat in the friend zone for a disturbingly long amount of time.

[Pat]

How long is that?

[Mike]

Ah, well, I'm 26 now. I'm out of it now, kind of. Technically,

[Carrie]

They got an ongoing situation.

[Pat]

Maybe.

[Carrie]

I think so. What? What? What you.

[Pat]

How long was the

[Gene]

damn.

[Carrie]

Nine years.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Sing it out loud.

[Mike]

That sounds crazy.

[Pat]

So this. This like some high school?

[Mike]

Yeah, you could say that. Yeah.

[Pat]

So it leaked all the way over to adulthood. So how many relationships have you seen her in, you cuck?

[Carrie]

Exactly. I was gonna ask.

[Mike]

Go ahead. 2. 2.

[Pat]

And, like, how are you in those relationships? Were you friends with the guy? Like, what was your relationship with them?

[Mike]

I don't. I didn't really associate them. For real? For real. I wasn't. That's. That's a lot of pain you want to put yourself in. I wouldn't do that to me.

[Pat]

Okay, so you was hurt. So you was hurting when she was in those relationships?

[Mike]

No, because I get mines, man. But it's like, I wanted. I wanted her to be one of mine. You feel me?

[Pat]

But it's okay.

[Mike]

It happens.

[Pat]

You wanted her to be one of yours, or is this, like, your dream girl, like, you confusing us now? Because, like, people that's usually in a friend zone is like, they're in a friend zone because they really only want that girl. But people not usually in a friend zone because they just want to smash.

[Mike]

Okay, I'm explaining it wrong. Yeah, yeah, I wanted that bad. Word. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carrie]

So what was some work? What was she doing to keep you in that friend zone? Because obviously if, like, if you didn't think you had a chance, you wouldn't stay in that friend zone, right?

[Mike]

To be real with you. Well, I guess we are being real. As you can see, I was a bigger boy way. I just lost a couple of it. So realistically, just being nice and being cool with was enough. I was like, damn.

[Carrie]

Got it. So you felt like. You felt like your confidence wasn't as high back then?

[Mike]

Yeah, got it. Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

No, I feel it. So where is she at now?

[Mike]

Relationship.

[Pat]

Oh, she in a relationship? Oh, this show. Last straw. Three times.

[Carrie]

That's a good Point, though. So if she wasn't in a relationship, do you think you would have still been in the friend zone? No.

[Mike]

As long. I think we just friends now. I think the zone shit gone. I don't feel nothing, like, towards it no more.

[Pat]

I think so. I think. I think this last dude pissed you off because it's like, this is what it's feeling like. Because the other two dudes. No, it's just something going. It's just something off with it because it don't make sense that now it ends and then like, like. Okay, this is a bigger question. Have you ever shot your shot?

[Mike]

Ah, there we go. I let you know what happened with it there. Yeah, I did that. A couple. What was it? Couple. Yeah. Let me not say how many years ago. You ain't told. I'm from New York. I seen the trust.

[Carrie]

They. They would have heard it, bro.

[Mike]

You sure? You think my voice is distinct like that?

[Carrie]

Very distinct, brother.

[Pat]

That ass.

[Mike]

But give me. Give me a little. Who? Wait.

[Caller]

Who.

[Mike]

All clear.

[Pat]

It's too late. Come on, bro. Let's go. Let's go, let's go. What was.

[Mike]

Wait, no, I was just saying if it was Jean Key. Oh, what's going on? What's going on?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

I shot my shot a little bit. Drank a little bit that dark liquor, said, hey, what's going on? I'm not gonna go into all of that.

[Pat]

You don't have to, but. How recently was this. We just wanted to know if you shot your shot or not.

[Mike]

Oh, like, two years. Two years.

[Pat]

It was two years ago. And then did she turn it down?

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

What was her excuse?

[Mike]

I just wasn't. I wasn't. What's the word I'm looking for?

[Carrie]

Her type.

[Mike]

Attractive. Oh, yeah.

[Carrie]

Her type.

[Pat]

Oh, I mean, it had.

[Carrie]

Attractive is worse than your type.

[Pat]

Yeah. Yeah. That's when you lost the weight, right? She basically said, ew. No, no, no, no. But it's cool, though.

[Carrie]

But you have to go through some rejection. You got.

[Pat]

You got that off your list. Because I feel like that's something that.

[Gene]

That.

[Pat]

Because seven years. It took you seven years to say that? And then it took you another two years to get over that rejection. And then now you're. Now you're saying you're over it. So that's. That's a good thing. This should be a celebration.

[Mike]

Yeah, it is if it is. Because the way I figured, I was never gonna actually shoot it, shoot my shot, but I was in a. Not a relationship. I was her friend. And then she was like. She had told me. She was literally like, had my in her mouth, came up for air and said, don't tell. What's her name?

[Caller]

And now that.

[Mike]

Oh, why would that not be a thing? I could tell? And then that got put in my head.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. She wants you to tell because she's like, man, please don't tell her I suck this ugly ass dick. Like. No, I'm just saying. But hey, and I. I get where your. Your mind was at, but you should have thought about that before. I just think it's just like. I'm not calling you a coward, but I just think it's weird. Like seven years to be around a woman and she don't even know that you trying to shoot your shot is kind of weird to me.

[Mike]

But that's the thing. I don't think I was actually actively trying to shoot my shot.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

I'm in a. I'm a person that. I just have a lot of friends.

[Carrie]

I got of a lot.

[Mike]

A lot of female friends, a lot of man friends. I'm just a friendly person. So it's not like I was. I don't know because I feel like other people do friends on weird. They just weirdos around the people that they like. I'm a regular person. I'm just. We go out, have a good time. That's the end of the night type or that's the end of the day, whatever we do. Right? So I don't know. I wasn't always like pressuring or sweating it for real. But definitely in a different life, man.

[Pat]

You're cool, bro. You cool. I see why you got a lot of friends. You're a chill, ugly ass. Definitely. If you was around my area, bro, we'd definitely be cool as hell, bro.

[Mike]

Hey, man, try and keep a good energy, man. Y' all think I'm ugly, though.

[Pat]

Nah, no way. Just talking. Cause the girl said it, bro. We don't know, man.

[Mike]

It sounds like you're not tickling my tv. It's good.

[Pat]

No. What the Got crazy. No, but we glad you got that over with, bro. On the next bro. New things.

[Carrie]

Yeah, it's not like getting girls is not a problem for you, so.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

M m m. All right, man. That was probably the first head that ever got.

[Carrie]

Try to kill her.

[Pat]

You're going to.

[Mike]

After lingo out here.

[Carrie]

No, that was talking about the temple. You were sound like a.

[Pat]

That's about to last 30 seconds.

[Carrie]

Wasn't much longer than BPM was crazy.

[Pat]

They got three strokes in it. They tired of that boy. That's what that girl heard. The girl? The girl that put you in the friend zoo. Heard about that. Mop, mop, mop. She said, not over here.

[Mike]

What the.

[Pat]

Damn.

[Carrie]

All right, man. You have a good one, bro.

[Mike]

Wait, did I make the pot?

[Pat]

Yeah, for sure. My name is

[Carrie]

stupid ass. Oh, man.

[Pat]

That's the only part of the story he was excited for. Nick was literally my of toe the whole time as soon as he got to that part. Horny ass dog. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

[Mike]

What's up, Brody?

[Pat]

What's up, Brody?

[Carrie]

Welcome to Crab Dummies podcast, bro.

[Pat]

What's the word, bro?

[Mike]

Chill.

[Caller]

Chilling.

[Carrie]

All right, we got a question for you. What's your dilemma?

[Mike]

So me and my girl, we be talking.

[Caller]

We.

[Mike]

You know, we. We together for eight years already, so we just, like, occasionally have sex.

[Pat]

We do this, we do that.

[Mike]

But then randomly, she started saying, like. Like, I would be down and eat your.

[Carrie]

Eat your ass.

[Mike]

And I don't know how to feel about that because I don't want to, like, tell her no, but I'm not with it. Like, I don't want to do that. That.

[Carrie]

And why did you just say no?

[Pat]

Sound like you contradicting yourself. Said, I don't want to tell her no, but I don't want to do it. So which one is it?

[Mike]

I don't know. I just feel like, like after relationship, after eight years, you kind of, like, it gets. I don't want to say boring, but you got to spice it up a little bit, bro.

[Carrie]

Just say you want to do it, bro. Just say you want to do it. Just. This is what you tell her. Just tell. Just tell her you want her.

[Pat]

What?

[Mike]

You got me, bro.

[Pat]

You called us knowing that we would just tell you to do it, and you using us as approval.

[Carrie]

So you're just using us for approval?

[Mike]

Yeah, I guess.

[Carrie]

I guess you're. Just tell it to surprise you, I guess.

[Pat]

Mission accomplished.

[Mike]

Thank you, guys. I knew I could count on you.

[Carrie]

Are you a weird bro?

[Pat]

No.

[Mike]

Hold on. I want to say something, though. Last time you guys put my freaky ass brother on the pod the other day.

[Pat]

Bro, who's your brother? Who's your brother?

[Mike]

He was the one talking about $1 escorts.

[Pat]

That was your brother and you just said this?

[Mike]

It runs in the family, bro.

[Carrie]

No, it's a crazy bloodline.

[Pat]

Sound like your family need to be investigated.

[Carrie]

So are you gonna tell her that you want it? You want it, then?

[Mike]

I don't know if I want it, bro. Like on some.

[Carrie]

Oh, my gosh, bro.

[Mike]

On a Serious note, bro. I just need, like, you guys need to say, go for it, bro.

[Carrie]

Dude, honestly, bro, I'm out.

[Pat]

I'm out. I'm out.

[Carrie]

We don't give a what you do.

[Pat]

No, no, no, no. I don't. I don't even care. I don't even want to be be. I don't want to be in this anymore.

[Carrie]

You already want it, though.

[Pat]

That's.

[Carrie]

No, that's the point. We're trying to.

[Pat]

No, he's using. We're part of the foreplay, man.

[Carrie]

Oh, okay.

[Pat]

Yes. I'm out. We out. We don't want nothing to do with it too, bro.

[Mike]

All right, bro.

[Carrie]

Freaky ass, bro. All right. You have a good one, man.

[Mike]

Peace out, you. What up, man?

[Carrie]

What up, man?

[Mike]

Not much.

[Carrie]

Welcome to Crash Dummies Podcast us.

[Mike]

Appreciate it.

[Carrie]

All right, we got a question for you. What's your dilemma?

[Mike]

My dilemma is I'm trying to be a comedian and I can't tell if I'm a funny or not.

[Pat]

Ah, okay, perfect. We. We love to laugh, bro. Let's hear it.

[Carrie]

Let's give us like your. Your two minute. Whatever.

[Pat]

You got 60 seconds.

[Mike]

Yeah, 60 seconds. I don't even got that.

[Carrie]

There you go.

[Mike]

Yeah, y' all got me. I don't even know anything, bro.

[Pat]

Anything. It don't matter. Just like improv. Like, what do you think about today's economy? What do you think about today's relationships and how they going?

[Mike]

I guess the only thing I got is the Love island was like the biggest show this year.

[Pat]

Okay, okay. Going somewhere else.

[Mike]

I don't. I don't even know. I know that I'm three quarters of different races, so I got all the bad parts of my races. So, like, black, I'm pretty lazy. The white side. I don't like the orange juice in my orgies. And then I'm part islander, so my dick is small enough to hide behind a Bailey. See, so you already knew I wasn't a funny.

[Pat]

No. Like, okay, so, like, where did the inspiration come from?

[Mike]

To be honest, I don't know. I was trying to write like self incriminating jokes, trying to roast myself and it's not working.

[Pat]

What? Like, do you have any other jokes about roasting yourself?

[Mike]

Some people say I look like Chris Brown, but with dark tv. I mean, that's it. That's all. I don't really got. Got much. I'm self incriminating,

[Carrie]

self incriminated. I don't. Still don't think.

[Caller]

I mean,

[Pat]

I like. Yeah, I think your mom and dad are Related. That's what I think.

[Mike]

Not even.

[Pat]

No, I believe you're like, some type of super cousin mutant.

[Carrie]

Oh, my God. So word. Like pasta. Where the inspiration to become a. Like, a comedian. Like, where'd you say, like, it came from?

[Pat]

His auntie mom.

[Carrie]

What made you.

[Pat]

No, it came from.

[Carrie]

What made you think. What made you even think. Like, to say, like, what made you think that, oh, I could be good at this?

[Mike]

Well, I guess a bunch of people always told me that my stories were funny. It's just. I'm not funny.

[Carrie]

But you haven't even told one story.

[Pat]

Like, oh, let's hear a story. Maybe you're better at stories, though.

[Mike]

Well, I've told y' all a few of them. Y' all cancel me on one of them.

[Pat]

Okay, Just tell us a story. You know, you go ahead. Maybe this is where you mad.

[Mike]

This I don't. Let me start. Only good one I got was. Hell, I got my ass at, and I didn't like it.

[Pat]

Oh, oh, that's like, what. Like, what do you do for a living? Maybe we need to dive more into.

[Mike]

Y' all. Caught me in the middle of my delivery.

[Carrie]

Oh, you're a bell man.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

All right.

[Pat]

Postal service or Amazon, bro.

[Carrie]

Get that pension, bro.

[Mike]

Brother, also. Okay.

[Carrie]

Put that time in. Get that pension, would you?

[Pat]

Was your uncle dad. Was your uncle dad a mailman, too?

[Mike]

Both of them.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Pat]

I thought they're the same person. My fault.

[Mike]

Ass.

[Carrie]

Also, your. Your dad and your uncle were mailman.

[Mike]

They are.

[Carrie]

Oh. Why are you talking to us about being a comedian, bro?

[Pat]

Come on, man. Do what you meant to do. That's what you meant to do.

[Carrie]

Trust comedy doesn't want to do you either. Y' all are not compatible.

[Mike]

I can see that.

[Carrie]

Yeah, they would definitely vote y' all off the island. So it's like a.

[Pat]

That's like, damn. That's a Love island joke, bro. You should steal that one. Look, Mike, give him that joke. You need that.

[Mike]

I don't need that. No, you need that.

[Pat]

That's the best joke he got. That's one joke he did that relaxing.

[Mike]

My bad. You. You a comedian. Tell me one of your best jokes.

[Pat]

One of my best jokes.

[Carrie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Carrie]

You know it's about to be about you, brother.

[Pat]

No, it's not. No, it's not. No, no, no. I've been. Literally been working on the jokes. I got a comedy show coming up August 7th.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Pat]

Okay. So my best joke is. Hold on, let me make sure. Yo, yo, bro, bro, bro.

[Carrie]

He.

[Pat]

He on the phone.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, I'm here.

[Pat]

Okay. That's my best joke right there.

[Mike]

This.

[Pat]

Think the biggest joke I got. There you go, man. That's it. That's it. You just take that one too.

[Carrie]

It.

[Pat]

I appreciate it. Get this a joke. We bumping your down. These are one or two jokes now, man. These are bangers.

[Mike]

Hey, I'm about to write it down. Hey, if I get famous, I'mma shout y' all out.

[Pat]

I guess we not getting no shout out, dude. Well, I thought you was gonna say something more simple. Just give us a shout out.

[Carrie]

I think it's gonna shout us out at his. Like, UPS has a retirement banquet. And, like, I. Mike and Pat, I

[Pat]

would never been here.

[Carrie]

Exactly. If they told me not to be a comedian, I wouldn't even be here.

[Pat]

No, for real, man.

[Carrie]

All right, bro. Get the delivery mail, bro. I kind of look like a postal office worker right now, too.

[Pat]

Oh, that's perfect. Look, that's another joke you can take.

[Carrie]

Gave that too much sauce. All right, bro. You have a good one.

[Mike]

Peace. Yo, yo, yo, yo. What's going on, fellows?

[Carrie]

What up? What up?

[Pat]

Nothing much. Would you rather relive your biggest regret or it never happened off the D?

[Mike]

I'd rather relive my biggest regret, honestly, because it was a relationship ago.

[Carrie]

It was.

[Mike]

This is like, five years ago, but was, like, the best time of my life, dude. Like, we. We threw parties. Like, we threw ragers together. Just like, I don't understand kindergarten type.

[Carrie]

So, like, why'd it end, dude?

[Pat]

Why didn't.

[Caller]

Wow.

[Mike]

It was a toxic situation. It ended through

[Pat]

throwing.

[Mike]

Oh, wait, no, this is crazy. This is crazy.

[Carrie]

I just.

[Mike]

I'm just remembering this. I remember I was going through this. I was going through her phone, and then I. I clicked on one of the Snapchats from these guys, and it was a dick. And I'm like, yo, no, that's crazy. So I confronted her about it, and she was, like, straight balling her eyes out. And then this is what she told me she did as she's like, I love you more than my dad when

[Carrie]

we didn't answer yesterday.

[Pat]

No, dude, this sounds sick, dog, Bro,

[Mike]

I've been living with this my whole, like, last five years. Dude. Dude.

[Pat]

And no, that's definitely making a pie, bro. This is good.

[Mike]

And you know what's funny? And you know what's even more funny, bro? I work with her now, like, today.

[Carrie]

No way, bro.

[Pat]

Oh, my God. I told you this was gonna be a good call. I had a good feeling.

[Carrie]

Generational party. I told you Guys, N. This generational, bro.

[Pat]

This is crazy.

[Mike]

Yes. So, like, I don't know. It's like a whole pain, dude. It's so up.

[Pat]

Like, we're cool now. That's dope.

[Carrie]

Oh, that cool.

[Pat]

That's. No way. I mean, yeah.

[Mike]

I mean, we. We work together, so we kind of

[Carrie]

have to be crazy.

[Pat]

You never told us y' all work together. This did.

[Mike]

Like, dude, you might have a chance.

[Carrie]

No, this gotta be the dumbest, man.

[Mike]

That's what my. That's what my people who I work with say, too. But I don't know, man.

[Carrie]

I wish I was this oblivious.

[Pat]

I know. He says, should I shoot my jaw

[Mike]

or am I crazy?

[Pat]

I want to know if you crazy, bro. Like, dude, throw another party. Throw another party.

[Mike]

It. Bro, I've been throwing parties, bro.

[Carrie]

That's your Kindle, bro.

[Pat]

Wait, wait, wait. So you think you, like, how. How are your parties?

[Mike]

I mean, like, they were like, high school parties, but, like, they were fucking pretty lit. Like, we had, like.

[Pat]

Like, packed houses.

[Mike]

Like, man, the floor was, like, getting bent in from so many people being in there.

[Carrie]

Now, what about the adult parties?

[Pat]

When's the last one? Yeah, I'm not gonna lie that adult parties?

[Mike]

What do you mean? What do you mean, Mike?

[Carrie]

Like, your adult parties, like, non high school parties as a grown man?

[Pat]

Oh, I mean, I don't know.

[Mike]

They just been, you know, kind of regular, like, just normal.

[Carrie]

No, no. Bending floors?

[Mike]

No, not since I.

[Carrie]

Did y' all have any blows

[Mike]

Blow, Mike? Ecstasy, bro.

[Pat]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So, wait, wait. So you. You threw those parties in high school and you haven't thrown any of them since?

[Mike]

I mean, I've had parties, like, not crazy ones like that.

[Pat]

Damn. Damn, homie. In high school, you was the man. Homie happened to you

[Carrie]

just called us

[Pat]

to tell us he peaked. I'm still up, bro. I'm still up fast. No, you. You peek, bro. Downhill from here.

[Mike]

Yo, yo, wait. There's this. There's this story I've been wanting to tell you guys, but can I tell it real quick?

[Pat]

I can explain myself.

[Mike]

I promise. He was generational, bro.

[Carrie]

We only had time for one generational story.

[Pat]

That's enough for us, bro. We fool.

[Mike]

Oh, true.

[Pat]

All right, I'll catch you guys next week then, eh?

[Carrie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

[Pat]

No, we fool back.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Generation.

[Mike]

Yeah, you are.

[Pat]

Oh,

[Caller]

Stupid.

[Carrie]

Yo, welcome to CR Podcast.

[Mike]

What's up, Mike? What up, brother?

[Carrie]

All right, I got a question. I got a question for you. What's your dilemma?

[Mike]

So you might. You might, Mike. You might know about this too. Very well. Okay, but when African people. When they be telling us, like, serious problems, bro, that should have me dead, bro. I'd be. Because that their accents, like, they be saying the mo. Like the common, simple stuff, and so they be emphasizing funny.

[Carrie]

I give us an example of. Of the whole continent accent. Give me an example.

[Mike]

You mean cancel.

[Carrie]

No, but you said. You said a whole continent.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. Like what? And like, not the com. But like the. Just the accent. I could say they just be. Cuz, like the video that y' all posted. Corruption is not bad. Is that what I remember? And corruption is okay. Like, yeah.

[Carrie]

Oh, man.

[Mike]

It shouldn't be funny, but it's funny.

[Carrie]

No, bro, you got a shield, bro. You. You survive a car accident, so you. You uncancelable.

[Pat]

I wouldn't say he had a shield.

[Carrie]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike]

You wrong for that. I just. You gotta. You gotta be better example for your children.

[Pat]

You're right, bro.

[Carrie]

That's.

[Pat]

That's my fault, bro.

[Mike]

Oh, all y'. All is it. No need to say.

[Carrie]

No, no, she's not here. She's here.

[Pat]

It's 90. 90.

[Mike]

My bad. Oh, pause.

[Pat]

I mean, let me straighten up. She don't think I'm laughing at her name or something. Oh, man.

[Mike]

Daniel didn't for me lifted up. I'm surprised. I was like, oh, get a room.

[Carrie]

You have your own dialogue, bro.

[Pat]

I love this dog.

[Carrie]

All right, bro. This like our. Our buy a quarterly check in with you. You good?

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. I'm all Gucci. I'm all Gucci. Y' all are like, you make it. Yeah, because I don't know. I'll just be talking. Y' all make me want to talk, bro. I just. When y' all call, I get inspired to talk.

[Carrie]

All right, bro.

[Mike]

That's love.

[Carrie]

Real.

[Pat]

You already know what it is. Real Crash dummies. Real one right here. Oh, gee. This is a crash.

[Mike]

Yeah, I'm a dummy.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

But y' all step, though, if y' all come. I mean, if you.

[Carrie]

No, but it's not fair. He has a delay in his speech,

[Pat]

so I know I gave him an extra second.

[Mike]

The way he spent.

[Pat]

I gave him his extra second. He still say.

[Mike]

You know, when you say something like, soon you say that, you be like, dang, it sounds different than when the singer is.

[Pat]

No facts.

[Carrie]

Oh, man. All right, bro. You have a good one, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah, man. Y. Y. I love talking, though, bro.

[Carrie]

Yeah, we love talking to you too, bro.

[Pat]

Appreciate you, Broski. Peace.

[Mike]

Yep. Gene, you love, too. All the Love for you too, brother.

[Carrie]

All right, bro. Peace. Do girl get offended when girls call them twin when they don't feel like they're twins?

[Gene]

O, yeah, I would I speak for myself. Like, you saying it looks wise.

[Carrie]

I mean, I feel like it's twin. Ever a looks thing? I feel like when people say twin, sometimes it's like we have the. The same vibe or something.

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

But I feel like twin is getting used a little too much like my twin. I feel like that it just gets a little. It's. It's overused, and I feel like some people that look completely different. Different. Is it a. A look stain or is it a vibe thing?

[Gene]

I think it is more of a vibe thing, but it also depends on how you're saying it to somebody. Like, if they wearing the same thing as you or they kind of got the same things that you're interested in, you'd be like, oh, what's up, twin? Hey, twin. That's fine. But for me, if you're talking looks wise and this person looks nothing like me, then, no, I don't.

[Carrie]

But what somebody calls you twin, that's like somebody you don't know, and you look at the profile and they're very much not twin. Does that make you feel away?

[Gene]

No, it wouldn't make me feel away.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Gene]

I would be honored. Would you feel away?

[Carrie]

Somebody call me twin? I feel like it's different with guys, though.

[Pat]

For guys, it's more about like.

[Carrie]

Like a slang almost.

[Pat]

Yeah. But for guys, it's more about like, you don't want anybody to be your twin unless you anointed them your twin. Yeah, because more likely, if somebody calls somebody your twin, that means they're trying to offend you. Because, like, when I get sent people over the Internet, they'd be like, pat, this. Your twin is like, it's some dude doing some wild shit. That kind of favors me a little bit. So it's more offensive because they would never find a regular dude and be like, yo, y' all look alike. This would be weird as fuck.

[Gene]

So when you call people twin, what do you mean by that?

[Pat]

Usually I just use it as an agreement of an action that they just did. I never do it, like, over, over. I'm one of one. You know what I'm saying? That's how the be talking podcast. I just feel like I'm one on one and, like, nobody.

[Mike]

But.

[Pat]

No, it's a real but. It'll be like twin. You know what I'm saying? It's just like, yo, bro, she was Telling me I need to step my game up. That's why she was with the other dude that night, man. I blocked her. I got her off all my social media. I'd be like, okay, twin. Like, that's low key. Like, should I do, you know? Yeah, yeah. But dudes, now we not into that. Like, oh, oh, me and Mike twins. Like, hell no.

[Caller]

All.

[Carrie]

Or even just a normal conversation. Like how. Like I would say, like a lot of Atlanta people talk how they talk.

[Pat]

Yeah, that's Aslan.

[Gene]

Yeah, that's all they say.

[Pat]

The twin.

[Gene]

Got it. Okay.

[Carrie]

They say twin out. Like people say bros. Yes or bro.

[Pat]

I literally heard another say, I'mma kill you, twin, if that's your family. I don't know if you should do that. Who would kill their own twin?

[Carrie]

Oh, one of our friends, Lionel, he was putting like Philly slang bank for money denomination. And obviously the other ones are pretty regular. But the one that caught me was what they call $1 bill. They call this a Yankee in.

[Pat]

In where?

[Carrie]

In Philly. Okay, but Yankee is disgusting. Like to say anything. But he said they call it a Yank. I don't know if yank makes it any better, but a Yankee for one. I think especially in situations, in situations where, where when I think about dollar bill names or like, it's. It's more about like when that stuff is being exchanged. I don't feel like people are exchanging dollar bills that much. Unless you're at a strip club.

[Pat]

Let me hold the Yank.

[Carrie]

Yeah, see, that sounds crazy to me. Let me hold a dollar. Sounds crazy.

[Pat]

What up, young boy? Let me hold a Yankee.

[Carrie]

Let me hold the dollar. Sounds crazy. Somebody asked you like, let me hold a dollar right now.

[Pat]

It just happened to me on Brady Street.

[Carrie]

I'm telling you somebody, you kind of like, kind of.

[Pat]

No, no, I'm not giving a $1, bro.

[Carrie]

I'd rather give you $5 to give you.

[Pat]

I'd rather give you $50.

[Carrie]

Don't ask me for a dollar.

[Pat]

No.

[Carrie]

Sometimes like it'll be situation where somebody asks you for money. It'll be like a very like random amount of money and I'll send more money because just like, bro, you don't. You don't need $5 right now.

[Pat]

I think that's real though. I think that's like, that's like, you don't need $5.

[Carrie]

You ask me for $5. You need more than $5.

[Pat]

But I'm just saying that's the most. That's the most. To give somebody specific number. That's the most. That's the most humble way to ask for money. Because you, you're telling them like, yo, this is what I'm using your money for. Yo bro, I got this thing that I just bought, but I ain't got enough money. Can I get 21 54? Like that's respectful of somebody's money. Like I'm not about to ask you for 25. I'm about to ask you for exactly what I need. And I'm. And I'm being transparent. What you're telling you, hey bro, here's $50 and you'll ever ask me for that again.

[Carrie]

I feel like, I feel like I'm

[Gene]

never asking for exact shit change.

[Carrie]

I feel like the lower amount.

[Pat]

That's entitlement. That's entitlement. Get out of here.

[Gene]

You not body got change. Talk about some 2154.

[Pat]

Walk with me to this bank.

[Gene]

We don't even got pennies no more.

[Pat]

We don't.

[Carrie]

They stop pennies.

[Pat]

That shit is so stupid.

[Carrie]

They still in circulation though.

[Pat]

What I'm supposed to throw at people? It's getting too volume label

[Carrie]

to be a menace.

[Pat]

No, that's crazy.

[Carrie]

We used to make those little toys where you cut the top of a bottle and then you put a small balloon at the. Where you drink the water.

[Pat]

They can made a custom made.

[Carrie]

And then you put like a penny inside the part and then you shoot it like a slingshot.

[Pat]

I think I heard a water bottle.

[Carrie]

Yeah, you take the, the top of a water bottle, you cut it off like halfway, right? Can I see your water bottle?

[Pat]

Oh, like down the. Oh, this way. Hot dog style.

[Carrie]

God damn. So you cut this part of the bottle right here.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Carrie]

Right. So the top half. And then you take the. Obviously take the cap off, you put the balloon where the cap is at and then you have it like this.

[Pat]

That bottle having a good ass time.

[Carrie]

He's like, this is the first time somebody's opened me today. She larking with water now. She larping already with water. She carrying water for the aesthetics.

[Pat]

Look at this. Look how much water. Look how water in her. She's baking.

[Carrie]

She drinks.

[Pat]

No, we literally.

[Carrie]

We've been here for like an hour. This is as much water she drinks.

[Mike]

You a need nothing.

[Pat]

You ain't need nothing.

[Carrie]

That's how it always starts.

[Gene]

If I get dizzy, just call my man.

[Pat]

That's crazy. He's so tired of that. He probably got, he probably got water in the car and like this. You know why I do always make

[Gene]

sure there's some water in the car?

[Pat]

He probably got one of them water backpacks and know the wife. You can go down at any time.

[Gene]

Y' all are rude now.

[Pat]

That's crazy. Oh, man.

[Gene]

I got a question for y'.

[Pat]

All.

[Gene]

Cause actually, Mike, it was something you said to me last week that I was thinking about all week long, and then when Streaming University came out. Have y' all been tapped into Streaming University? Love Streaming University. I just said that. I feel like it's like the HBCU of content creation. It's amazing. Right? But I want to talk real quick about clip farming. Can y' all tell me exactly what that is? Because what I'm referring to with you, I had made a joke about you last week after the cameras were cut, and you were like, man, the cameras ain't even on, so you just being mean. And I thought about it and I said, are people just saying stuff just only for the clips?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. People be having, like, some of those stories where you hear, like, a streamer has sex with another streamer girl and they met up and that shit be fake as fuck. Like, a lot of that should be fake.

[Carrie]

And just like, creating, like, cliff farming, obviously, is like creating an artificial moment that, you know, that wouldn't have happened if the cameras are. We're on.

[Gene]

So then who are they? Off camera?

[Pat]

Exactly. I mean, some of them. Some people are genuine. But, yeah, I would say we clip

[Carrie]

farm sometimes on this pod. There's some that. I know. I'm saying that. I'm saying for the sake of the podcast.

[Pat]

Really?

[Carrie]

Yes. But in a funny way, I feel like it's. If you're anything comedic, it's, like, about creating, like.

[Gene]

Right.

[Carrie]

No. Pat would tell a story, and sometimes I don't think the story is 100. True. True or they're true.

[Pat]

I don't know who that talks.

[Carrie]

They're true. They're true. But he'll add, like, some sauce to it because it's funnier that way for the pod.

[Gene]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.

[Carrie]

But he also says it in real life, so I can't really call it like cliff farming, because he would try to make it just as funny if the camera wasn't on. I think that's obviously why I think the podcast worked, because I think we. We clip farm, even though the clips aren't really, like, going, we could have been.

[Pat]

We could have been. I'm going to say we could have been more popular by now if we clip far. Yeah, but we wouldn't have lasted this long.

[Gene]

Right.

[Pat]

We'd have just peaked out because that is hard to keep up. Because if you clip farm, like, let's say we got in here and clip farm and we had an argument about, like, every situation. And, like, that was our thing. Like, oh, they about to get into it eventually. Like, when life happens, it's just, like, hard to, like, create that energy. And you got to be, like, really good at, like, finding new ways to do stuff. This is, like, a slower grind, obviously, talking as yourself, but, like, this is something we can do for the rest of our lives.

[Carrie]

And I think that with cliff farming, too, I think it then brings in the outside audience to make it a really artificial situation, a very real situation, where it's like, okay, we're just joking around, talking shit to each other. Now somebody's audience and this person's audience starts getting at it. Now it becomes like, a real thing. Yeah, a stan war damn near. And now it's like, you know, he might say something and he'd be like, okay, that's not part of our script. And now I think you for real. So.

[Gene]

So that's wild.

[Carrie]

I think cliff farming can go too far when. Especially when it becomes a situation.

[Pat]

I mean, you see it all the time with streamers. Like, streamers.

[Gene]

That's all they do.

[Pat]

They'll get their audience by cliff. It's really the only way to grow.

[Carrie]

The only way to grow.

[Pat]

You can try to get on Twitch and talk regular if you want to be about 50 people watching you.

[Carrie]

That's why I say we kind of. We kind of clip farmer. We're not clip farming on purpose, but we are obviously creating a content that's consumable as well in 30 seconds or less as well. Especially when you're starting a podcast when no one knows who the we are. So we had to do something to get clips going and, like, create, you know, put in order where it's like, okay, let this sequence. So I know it's gonna play good on the clip so they can come and then hear the full thing.

[Pat]

I think that's a perfect style of podcasting. Clip firming authentically. Like, oh, if we get there authentically. Yeah. Now I see. Okay, Mike said a joke. You said a joke. And everybody laughing. Now I know. Like, okay, I'm gonna take it over the top and say something wild that I probably usually wouldn't say if everything was calm, because the moment is already there. So why not, like, try to create a better moment? And that's the best way to me to go viral. Like, it started off authentic. Maybe somebody added some spice in there. But that's overall because then you can

[Carrie]

keep doing it as well. And like I always like. I think I've said this podcast a million times. It's like to become like to become popular or like to become create great content, you got to do stuff that's like very repeatable, scalable and repeatable. Like you have to be able to be like, oh, this is a super viral moment. How do I. And then this is just me, me being naturally myself. So it's going to be easier to scale and repeat. But if it's like some one off thing, there's like it's always has to be drama. So now I'm looking for the next drama I gotta create to so the clips can come.

[Gene]

That is wild.

[Pat]

Yeah, that shit can create monsters though. Yeah, like, like get. People don't realize like the strength of a group of people. It just like you like to think that you're confident about something until a group of people disagree with that content. Like everybody in here would be like if you posted something great. Like we posted a bear video where I was just like, we're driving around, I'm like, look out, two bears or something, right? And there was a joke and we posted as a reel. The first 10 comments were laughing emojis. The next 50 comments were like, do you know what two bears mean? That mean like two guys that are gonna have sex in the woods or some shit. And like that. Yeah. What the.

[Gene]

Keep going.

[Pat]

And so like what the. But like comments and like a group of people can change you. So like when people like they clip farm and they're like, oh, I'm doing this. And then they actually, their fan base actually starts to believe that that starts to get annoying. And it's like nothing they can do about it. They be crying on stream and talk about y' all need to leave me the alone.

[Carrie]

Did you see some of the stuff that's going on in the streaming universe has a lot like saucy Santana got.

[Gene]

He snuck in quiet on the creek.

[Carrie]

I think that's why everybody was.

[Pat]

Oh, that's where that came.

[Gene]

You got to do it. Shake your boobs.

[Pat]

I. You know what this is?

[Carrie]

This is where equality doesn't matter. Cuz if I told Carrie, shake your boobs, y', all, it looked at me crazy. But she can tell me to shake my boobs.

[Pat]

Not just you, but she pointed at me too. Like we was some. Like we some little hoes or something. I am a woman. No, but I've been watching some. I think my fascination with it is like, what star will emerge from it. And, like, that's my only, like, take in it. And, like, what. What I have in. Because, like, I like Suburb Baby.

[Carrie]

He's been popular, though.

[Pat]

I Like, that's what I'm saying.

[Gene]

Crash out.

[Carrie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

But. But exactly. But that. But not been popular because, like, technically we aren't popular in, like, the realm of, like, the, like, the nation even. Like, we like to say, like, damn, who don't know crash on your podcast? A lot of people don't know crashing his podcast. A lot of people don't know Suburb Baby wardrobe.

[Carrie]

I guess he wasn't a big streamer, but he was big on, like, IG before.

[Pat]

Yeah, but, like, that's not big, though, in a sense of just, like, obviously the talent is there because he got to a certain point. But people know, like, when you get to a certain point of, like, popularity, like, even as us, we can't make that next transition just doing the same thing that we're doing right now. It's gonna have to take for, like, a bigger moment to where to be like, oh, shit, who is this? Like, when people come on. There's some people not even saying, like, Drew Ski. Not crazy pop up, but there are some people that discovered Drew Ski just by him being on bet. And if Drew Ski is still being

[Carrie]

discovered, then everybody I know, there's always gonna be a level of. I mean, that's for anybody. I was just the realm of, like, in their niche. In their niche. This, like, he was pretty popular.

[Pat]

No, I've seen him before.

[Carrie]

Not in the. Not in the streaming world that makes it, but go ahead with the stars, then.

[Pat]

But you said what?

[Carrie]

Go ahead with the star point you're trying to make.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. But, like, yeah, them creating stars and, like, these people that we've seen work. I mean, Pudgy, who's usually with funny Marco Dub, who you think, like, you know, he from Pontiac. So my mindset was different on Dub. I thought everybody knew Dub. And then now Dub's in, like, these clips and every, like, oh, nice to see him do such and such. I'm like, oh, damn, y' all didn't know know him. And just, like, no matter how popular you think somebody is, if you're not Ronaldo or LeBron, then it's just like, your popularity is going to grow. And it's fun to see what people do with that because you see these people now we get to see somebody's, like, origin stories. Like, I saw you when you didn't have no money. Let's see what happens when you get all the popularity and everybody's eye on you. Are you now, are you that talented?

[Gene]

Yeah.

[Pat]

To actually deliver when people expect you to do think.

[Carrie]

Because, like, obviously they're getting popular for very heightened moments where after Streamyard University ends and a lot of them are like doing IRL streams basically. And they're not, they're not at a desktop or from what I saw, I just like a lot of the IRL stuff. Do you think when they get back to their house, they're going to be able to be like, how do I keep this momentum? By doing. Keep doing like the over the top type of things? Whereas, like, are people really liking me for my personality or just because my personality when I'm interacting with all these people?

[Pat]

I think this about the. The same thing goes for us, like, like when we put out viral clips about callers, right. We still have to perform. And there's people that come to us after the viral caller. Like, let me check these dudes out.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And some people be like, oh, I only wanted to hear that caller. That cough. That caller made sense to me and I loved it.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

But this podcast is not for me. And then they leave. But it's about the people that you get by going through that cycle. So, like, yeah, he gained a hundred. Yeah, ex. Exactly. He gained 150,000. And he might only leave with like a third of that 50,000, but that's 50,000 people. That's sticking with him and that's going to help his snowball get bigger and bigger.

[Carrie]

I guess I was thinking more of the point from the. The creator side of it. More, More of them, like, feeling they need to do those things.

[Gene]

I think it's going to have to push them to be creative and think outside the box to see what sticks and what works for them. I mean, even when I think of like Rakai or like a Thailand, even Yana shout out to Yana because she wasn't really known like that when she went to the first streamer you last year. And now she's in a whole Drake song, like, killing it. Right. So I think it just depends on how much you want it and. But my real question kind of is, I don't know if y' all can answer, but just throwing it out there, like, what is their. What are a lot of these streamers goals? Like, do they just want to be entertainers or what? I wonder what are they trying to build up too? Because that kind of goes into what lane they'll End up going to after streaming you is over with.

[Carrie]

Yeah, that's a good question.

[Pat]

Because I think it's just like, they don't care.

[Carrie]

That's basically my question.

[Pat]

It's about accumulating. I mean, even this, like, do I want to be like, a major podcaster? Yeah. But, like, right now, I'm just accumulating as much fame as I can in this window. So when the next window comes, there's different ways for me to go. You know what I mean? And I feel like we're all doing the same thing. It's just like, we love what we're doing, but we wouldn't mind if this isn't the final thing that where you make all the money. So I feel like right now, if you have streamer university, just get whatever they like. I'm gonna just get as popular as possible. I worry about all the other shit on the back end.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Get the exposure and the visibility.

[Carrie]

And I think those are good questions because I do think a lot of people don't really like streaming. Like, especially, like, the ones that came to the tryouts. And like, you can't tell me, like, all those people. People were streamers because there was like, that's all exposure. Yeah, it's mostly just exposure. I don't think they like clips. Yeah, they like the idea of becoming a streamer, but it's like they want. Some people just want that easy route or the biggest, like, you know, the biggest eyeballs on you when their first. Their first go without trying to do themselves. Because in that Atlanta line, there was people asking, like, have you. Are you a streamer? It's like, no, I've never streamed before. Is their first time buying a camera. And everything was to go to the auditions.

[Gene]

Right.

[Carrie]

So it's like.

[Gene]

Which to me was. I don't want to say dumb, but dumb in a sense, because if you don't have no type of, like, you've been doing this, you care about it showing, you know how gritty you can be with it, then what was the point?

[Pat]

It's America, though. We do that dumb all the time. That's what we portray. You'll see somebody be like, he was like, you'll see a player in the NFL, he got cut from every team. And then he'll wait outside the team's arena for three weeks. And then the owner. Owner of the team would be like, man, I like that you've been out here sleeping outside in your car for three weeks, begging us for trial every day. Come on in here.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And Then they come in there and they make the team. So now that's going to influence the next person. You'll see it on American Idol. It'd be like, I didn't have time to register and blah, blah. Even though those stories be fake, sometimes I have time to register and then, like, the dude can sing out of nowhere. So you see, like, people getting those situations. Even, like, Drew Ski stuff, where Drew Ski's whole competition is to make fun of people and people still show up because they, like, just in case this don't kick me out right away and he let me sing or let me wrap my song, it might go viral. So it's just like, the chance to get crazy where. Where, like, streaming ends up going. Because, you know, I think as far as, like, the longevity for all these, like, smaller streamers, like, Kai's building, like, this university or, like, this universe where they'll be able to exist year by year, you know what I'm saying? Grow just like Yana and everybody else and stuff.

[Carrie]

So this is getting really weird now, though. Just, like, seeing, like, even when I see those big, like, the big wide views of everybody and everybody's. One person told the camera, another person's like, acting is just like the whole nothing going on in the background. Oh, yeah, it's just. It's like very Inception going. I was like, it is. It's, like, bright. Are we, like, in real life right

[Pat]

now or just like a silent party?

[Carrie]

Yeah, that's exactly what it looks like.

[Gene]

And feel like we're getting away from real community, like, not just being together in one spot, but now you got a whole bunch of other people all watching just the same thing from different perspectives. It's really weird. Honestly.

[Pat]

I kind of. I kind of. I think I like it, though. I think what Kai's doing is, like, he's creating more stars in the realm that, you know, black stars. And I feel like even like streaming University is gonna be a hard thing to keep up. Like, I feel like after like, three or four years, there's gonna be so many streamers that got popular from streaming University is not gonna feel right having people in a school setting. But I also think that's part of the plan, though.

[Carrie]

And also, depending where the whole industry even goes.

[Pat]

Yeah, because. But, like, I feel like if you. Because there's been streamers that have been made popular from streaming anniversary, there's been streamers who've been made popular just from, like, being on Kaisen at. Or do whatever, whoever stream eventually, like, these are gonna be our New reality stars. Like, then they're gonna be able to like, oh, we're just doing streamer competition and be able to stream it without even having one stream. Be able to pay everybody a flat fee and have them just on there. So now we don't even got to do as much work when we all get this popular. That's why I feel like it's going. It has to go. The thing is, like, my thought goes to, like, what is the new reality gonna be for real? Because, like, if we got Lizzo and T Pain, like streaming and like that, you know, so like, who's gonna go to concerts anymore when they virtual or, like, what new technology and all that shit's gonna affect all. Yeah, that. That's what suck about the podcast game. You don't know who go, like, bro, we'll be ranked in. We'll be ranked, you know, the 51st comedy podcast in the world.

[Carrie]

World.

[Pat]

And Will Smith and Bill Burr just start a podcast together. Like, come on, bro. Like, what the is going on? We just lose 10, 000 listeners. Like, yeah, we gonna listen to Will Smith and Bill Burr do 10 episodes before they cancel this. Like, come on, bro. Like.

[Carrie]

But those. I feel like those podcasts never really last that long.

[Pat]

No, they don't. They get too busy.

[Carrie]

It's just like the really rich celebrities starting the podcast. It don't really last too long because it's like we're not making. Making the millions we're making.

[Gene]

Yeah, I feel like it does mess up the ecosystem of podcasting too, though.

[Pat]

I hate that.

[Gene]

It's like celebrities joining in.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's like them dropping an album, though. I feel like, you know, it wasn't meant to be like a forever thing. These type redocumenting, like the conversation. I like that. I like that.

[Carrie]

Do you know what's getting popular now is companion podcast with TV shows. So people watch this, people watch a series, and then there's also a podcast at the end of that series. Yeah, episode. Got it for that series.

[Pat]

Like Love island does that.

[Carrie]

They have a companion podcast.

[Pat]

They have a podcast after they get eliminated.

[Gene]

So you'll go every week.

[Carrie]

Yeah, got it. But they have. I know this is Us has one. I mean, it's. Issa Ray is about to go on. On tour.

[Gene]

Yeah, I've been tapped in.

[Carrie]

She's about to go on.

[Pat]

Oh, you're talking about the TV show. TV show. Got it. That's a reality show.

[Carrie]

Not the reality. When the TV show has a podcast that recounts caps episode by episode.

[Gene]

Like, nasty Classified.

[Pat]

Walking Dead. Did it for a little bit.

[Gene]

Living Single.

[Carrie]

Yes. This is us. Has it started to think about what else?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, it's smart.

[Carrie]

It's interesting though, because it's like you kind of want to get. People are now hearing the. The actor's perspective on what they think about the scenes.

[Pat]

I mean, I feel like HBO been doing that for a long time. I don't know that HBO's been like, if you watch like a movie or a series on hbo, yo, the next episode trailer. Yeah. It will be like, yo. And it'll be the direct crazy to shoot. Yeah, exactly.

[Carrie]

Oh, no.

[Gene]

Yeah, It'll be the direction don't hit the same though. Like, I think it has to be an old show that people cared about back then and now you're hearing the stories.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Gene]

20 years.

[Carrie]

Yes.

[Pat]

Are you talking about that too?

[Carrie]

Yes, that's exactly what I'm talking about.

[Pat]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Carrie]

No, but I'm just saying. But people are not doing it for more current stuff though, because they usually do like the companion episodes for like, obviously, like reliving Single, they have a podcast. So. But now with these Netflix series and these other series, they do have podcasts that accompany it in real time. So episode by episode. And people are saying, just like we are talking about the episode. So I don't know. There's an interesting thing. It's like, is that over consumption at that point where you're like, you watch the series and then you watch somebody respect it. Or it's like, like, like it kind of reminds me of reaction videos when people do reaction videos.

[Gene]

Yeah. I think people are constantly searching for more content to watch no matter what,

[Pat]

especially if they really like something. I'm. I'm also a person. It's not for me because I feel like I got a pretty good beat on like, what a movie meant. I don't need somebody to describe, like the deeper meaning because that's what I look for in movies and I pride myself on finding what. What's a deeper meaning behind this. Like, what this mean. I'm not about to listen to the actors tell me, like, oh, in this scene, the reason why the deaf girl kissed a blind eye, cuz, it's like, don't hear, don't Like I don't.

[Carrie]

He's the one to ruin your moment.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah, I want to hear that. Not ambidextrous.

[Carrie]

You thought it was real love the whole time.

[Pat]

In actuality, if you look, she steals $20 out of her pocket. Nigga, I didn't hear that. Shit. Okay. Tweet of the week. It says, fat guy who had both his arms amputated pulling his shirt down via telekinesis.

[Carrie]

But I feel like there's anybody. I feel like you don't have to be as a guy for. For sure. If I feel like if my belly is showing, I'm pulling down my shirt. My shirt. That's my first reaction to. Especially if I'm like bending down to pick something. I have to definitely make sure, like, my tank top is tucked in properly before I like, I don't want my boxer showing.

[Pat]

I don't. Like, I used to fix my shirt. If you go back at the last, like, past episodes, like when we first started, I used to fix my shirt all the time. All the time. And I didn't realize, like, why I did that one. I was wearing the same clothes I wore when I was skinny to when I got bigger. And it's just like I wear this shirt all the time and it's never felt like this. Like the thread is on a different part of my stomach. So it's just like this don't feel good. And I think that's where it comes from. Like they're wearing a shirt that they wore or 20 pounds ago. No matter the weight, they could be from 220 to 240 or 440 to 460. God damn, you big as but 460.

[Gene]

Come on.

[Pat]

460. Oh my God. You sitting next to everybody.

[Gene]

Oh, that's how they footsteps sound.

[Carrie]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

And that's how they foot gonna sound when they fall off. Oh, no. Respect, huh? Okay, this tweet says why girls think all a want is sex. I'd be wanting to borrow money too.

[Carrie]

The hobo sexuals.

[Pat]

Hey, no.

[Carrie]

It takes a lot for you to like ask your girl for or girl you with for some money. That's like some.

[Pat]

For some people. It don't, man.

[Carrie]

No, that's what I'm saying. It's kind of. It's crazy to me because like, Like, I don't know, like, especially something I'm not with, like to. To ask them for money. I wouldn't ask a dude I don't know, like, for some money. Even in my broke, broke his days, I'd rather like sleep in my car

[Pat]

before, but y rather die.

[Gene]

Is it just a pride thing?

[Pat]

Hell yeah, it's a pride thing, but

[Carrie]

I don't think it's a pride thing in like a I'm ultra masculine type of thing. It's just More of a pride thing is, like, I don't want nobody to know I'm that down bad.

[Pat]

That's what it is. It's like giving out information. It's like, that's why, like, when you need a place to stay or sleep, it's like very hard for you to like, you know, a lot of people will say yes, but it's the fact I got to give you the information that I needed a place to sleep. You also got to be careful of people who aren't too prideful to ask.

[Carrie]

Yeah. That's the thing.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

When they got no pride.

[Pat]

No, the other thing is. The other thing is gray, black frags on this. The other thing is like. Like depending on, like, who you ask, you have to be comfortable with them. Like, they're not going to try to start a conversation. That's why me, like, I lean on. Like, if I ever needed something, the person got to be of like, somebody where I'm from or similar where I'm from. You know what I mean? Like, I'm more likely to ask you for like you and your man for like an extra bedroom or something like that. Because. Because we black and you know, like, oh, if Pat came to me, he don't want nobody to know about this. And better. The bigger part is he don't want to talk about it. Like, if I'm staying with you a day, I don't need to have a conversation. If you stay like with one of your white friends and shit, and they driving you, they just turned down to music like, you know, Pat, you can tell me anything, man. I've been on hard times too. Like drive past the old elementary school.

[Carrie]

Yeah. Now you stopped the car too.

[Pat]

Listen, man, like, you know, me and my wife, we love that we took you in and honestly, but we want to get you help. We don't just want to release you back then. You just coming back and forth.

[Carrie]

Release is crazy.

[Pat]

Said, look, man, this money's not for me. It's from Tiffany. They making statuses on their Facebook. Sometimes you just have to the help

[Carrie]

of n. I beat the out that

[Gene]

it's the ones you least expect.

[Pat]

You sleeping in the guest bedroom. They come to the bedroom like, hey, man, I'm. I'm not. Please don't. Please don't take this. Please don't take this offensive, buddy. But I locked my gun case because I don't know if it's suicidal your thoughts you're going through. But I. I locked everything. Laces are go. Let's. I'm just Gonna lock you in the room. I just don't want you doing anything.

[Gene]

No. You got a problem with somebody overstaying, they welcome too and don't know when to leave.

[Pat]

No, that's. Actually, I've been in that situation.

[Carrie]

That's tough.

[Gene]

You know, they got like laws or something that if they stay at your house.

[Pat]

Squatters.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Gene]

For like over a certain amount of time and they're getting mail there that they live there.

[Carrie]

That's tough. I never had like an extreme case where it's like, I've had like the very petty case, you know, I just remembered.

[Pat]

Hold on.

[Carrie]

I. Go ahead.

[Pat]

I had. I had that incident happening. Like a homie was just like, never told me when he was going to like, move out or like, leave after he needed some help, you know. I was looking for my birth certificate and I couldn't even find mine, but I found his. I was like, yeah, you gotta go.

[Carrie]

No.

[Pat]

That's funny. What are you gonna say?

[Carrie]

No, I'm just saying in situations like, I've been in situations like that, but not like to the extreme. More like maybe hour by hour where it's like, maybe you're hosting an event and it's like, like, all right. When going to start like, and get too comfortable, you start seeing, like when you see a take a layer off, it's like, okay, no, the layer off. If he takes a layer off, he's like. He's like trying to stay here for a bit and we. I'm trying to go to bed.

[Pat]

No, no, you, you, you. You watch Twilight with a bunch of people. They like, damn, I wonder what the next movie. Like, I get you my login. My.

[Carrie]

Right, exactly. Cuz I. There's been situations where, like, this is a while ago, but there's been situations where, you know, you do the old. Like, I'm about to go to my room and close the door, pretend I'm sleeping, and like, the nigga going to be gone by the time I get out here type. And the look, the got more layers off. The Is using a pillow to like, elevate his leg.

[Pat]

Oh, my couch.

[Carrie]

Just like, what is going on?

[Pat]

No, that's crazy. I had a dude tell me that he can't do double dates with me no more because I do too much, cuz I can't. He was like. I was like, damn, why you don't want to hang out with me and my girl? With your girl? He's like, nah, bro, last time I was with you, I spent $400. I can't do It. Oh, that time, he said. He said every time he thought it was time to go, I was like, yo, bro, bro, we gonna hit this pumpkin patch.

[Carrie]

We go.

[Pat]

Then we going out to dinner.

[Carrie]

And then.

[Pat]

But I was. When I was talking in front of him, I was talking in front of his girl, too. And she like, yes, yes, yes.

[Carrie]

Bump the girl, the hands. I'm.

[Pat]

I'm just trying to make my dumb.

[Mike]

I'm.

[Pat]

I'm like a. Like a pleaser. I'm always trying to make the ladies happy. And then we going to get something to eat. That over there. Like, no, no, no. I don't take her on dates.

[Carrie]

But I feel like that's why I'm glad I have friends that are, like, prideful in a sense, because my friends wouldn't be, like, the people I hang out with now. Like, basically just y', all. Basically. But if y'.

[Gene]

All.

[Carrie]

My place, y' all would want to leave before I, like, y' all see me. Like, all right, it's time to go. There's no more conversations happening. I'm in here. I can watch TV on my own TV at home. Not this niggas tv. So it's kind of nice having that. But some people, like, I don't know, some. Especially back then. Especially if you had cable at your house. Didn't have cable like that back then. So if you. If you're the kid with the cable, it's like to never want to leave your house.

[Pat]

No, the. The worst thing is having two play your video game in your house.

[Carrie]

Not the video game.

[Pat]

I had that before. I had invited, like, my cousin.

[Carrie]

What happened in college. Leave your dorm.

[Pat]

Like, like, leave, bro. Talking about, I got next in my dorm. What? I got next to sleep. You gotta go now. You know it's bad when they start ignoring the. What you on tomorrow? Trying to figure out how to get there. No, bro, we gotta finish this series, bro. Hell no.

[Carrie]

When you hear that, especially if somebody's losing on the losing end, it'd be like, nah, bro, best out of seven. Like, y' all about to play NBA finals in my. Like, get the. Out my.

[Gene]

I think people just don't be having, like, social cues no more like that social awareness to know, like, hey, all right, we about to just get on up out of here.

[Carrie]

Nah, people lack that.

[Pat]

Yeah. That's why I basically, man, I can't. I can't have a friendship with nobody without social awareness. That's like, the biggest thing, like, to even know, like, when other people feel uncomfortable around you is like, my Biggest thing. Like, there's this dude that's in a friend group that's adjacent to my friend group, and he yells a lot. And he was like, up here in the studio in the pool, and it was a bunch of old people around the pool, and he yelling like, ah. While we was playing volleyball. And I'm like, do it like we yell here.

[Gene]

Wrong with that quiet on the creek.

[Pat]

I ain't gonna lie. I had a k. I had a. I had a. A Kyrie moment, and it just like a Kyrie Dennis shoulder moment where Dennis shoulder caught Ky. Like, Dennis Schroeder is a black man, but he's from Germany.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And he called Kyrie Irving. Like, he basically said, hey, Kyrie, chill out. And Kyrie was like, don't call me a nigga, because he don't like the way he said it. And I was like, damn. Like, I was kind of conflicted. And for my. The first time, I had. Like, I forgot where he from, but he. He not from America, but he's black.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And he said, you know, you. You my dog. And I just didn't like the way he said it. And I was like, never say that again. My first time telling a black man he can't say that.

[Carrie]

No, that's crazy.

[Pat]

It was just like, the way he said it. It was like he was trying it out. Like he was testing it. Don't try that in front of me. Twitter week says, told her I pay for her day off, and she requested 3, 500. Baby, go clock in and bring me Baby, go clock in and bring me an application when you finish.

[Carrie]

3500 a day making that? No.

[Pat]

No. Hell no. Well, she might have been. Not the way. Not the way he liked, though, right?

[Carrie]

Even if it's just 3, 350 a day, it's like, you.

[Pat]

We need it.

[Gene]

No, she's not that bad.

[Carrie]

350.

[Pat]

She might be tired. She might be tired when she get home, because why she with you then if she got that much money?

[Gene]

$350.

[Carrie]

No.

[Pat]

3, 500.

[Carrie]

No, I said. I said 350.

[Pat]

350 a day.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

That's still a lot of money.

[Pat]

What's that for? What, 1400?

[Carrie]

That's $10,000 a month.

[Pat]

1750 if you work five days a week.

[Carrie]

That's a lot of money.

[Pat]

That's a lot of money.

[Gene]

I guess it depends on what you do.

[Pat]

No, that's a lot of 1750 a week without weekends. Tough.

[Carrie]

Especially if you have kids. Like. No, you gotta Three. Okay. You can pay for one day off on in a month. Yeah, that's not bad.

[Gene]

Yeah, you know, 350 is not bad.

[Carrie]

350 is not bad for one day.

[Pat]

If I pay for 350 for your day off work.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

You won't be able to chew for a week.

[Gene]

Brown would do it.

[Pat]

Yeah. He got that money. Like, that's. That's different.

[Carrie]

350. It's like I need the. The grapes. Being fed grapes and all that feeding.

[Pat]

I'm doing the feed.

[Gene]

Yikes.

[Carrie]

No, I would pay. I would pay for a spa day for sure.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carrie]

That's like 350.

[Pat]

I'm saying, it sound like he in, like, the date. It sound like he in the dating phase. You know What I mean?

[Carrie]

300 for 3,000. 3,500.

[Gene]

Yeah, 3,500.

[Carrie]

Come on now.

[Mike]

Go to work.

[Pat]

If my girl makes 3,500 a day. Whatever. She need to get to work. We get in the work.

[Carrie]

Baby girl, I'll take it.

[Pat]

She talking about baby, I need to call in sick. Give me that cold. Let me suck the cold out. All right, last tweet of the week. It says, I hate that part at the dentist where they have to touch your penis. I don't know.

[Gene]

Me.

[Pat]

Not supposed to be in there. I hit the wrong.

[Carrie]

You aren't supposed to read that one. That's crazy.

[Gene]

What is that from?

[Pat]

Wait, wait, that's for the other pod. Oh, man. Yeah, I think that's it. Man,

[Carrie]

You never got. I think we talked about this on the pod. You guys never gone somewhere and they started doing something a little strange.

[Pat]

Who's they?

[Carrie]

Okay, let me just. Let me. That. I preface it that terrible, but I was at a massage parlor one time, and then as I was getting a massage, like, the. The person that gave me a massage put like a. I'm trying to remember what they did when they got. They're massaging my glutes. Right, Right. But it felt like this get crazy. It felt like there was, like, too much, like, separation when they kind of held the. The elbow to it.

[Pat]

The ass open.

[Carrie]

Yeah, it just. It just sound like they're like, yeah,

[Pat]

they had your ass open like this arm wrestling your ass.

[Carrie]

There was a lot of us. I was like, whoa, whoa, what's going on?

[Gene]

I. I ain't never had.

[Pat]

What. But.

[Carrie]

But then.

[Caller]

What if you.

[Pat]

What if you heard another person walk in the room?

[Carrie]

And the other thing, you know, like, when they're, like, putting the. The blanket, like, under your boxers so you're like, your crack doesn't Show. But then he kind of like, he did something where it felt like he almost, like, gave me, like, a wedgie and like a. Like a thong, in a sense, where he felt like he moved one, like, leg open a little closer and another.

[Pat]

You're a victim. You're a victim, buddy.

[Gene]

Is that the same place?

[Carrie]

No.

[Pat]

No. I. I'm not going to lie. I'm very sexist when it comes to that department apartment. Like, no man will ever massage me.

[Carrie]

I've got massages from guys.

[Pat]

Nah, all that because I like to fall asleep.

[Carrie]

That's. I just feel like if you think about. If you feel like it has to be a woman that doesn't. You like sexualizing the situation?

[Pat]

Me? Yeah, a little bit.

[Gene]

Oh, my God.

[Carrie]

I mean, it's like a.

[Pat]

It's an energy transfer, too, though.

[Carrie]

You know what it means?

[Pat]

It's just like, with their hands, you

[Carrie]

know, you wouldn't get massaged by.

[Pat]

No, I have.

[Carrie]

I have.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Gene]

Women are, you know, a little bit more. A little bit.

[Carrie]

I. I personally, like, my PT is obviously, my. My PT is a guy, but I also have a woman pt, but when I do, they do, like, a lot of the manual stuff, and obviously they're stronger. So you kind of feel the pressure that you need to feel.

[Pat]

That's different.

[Carrie]

Especially on my, like, my back and my shoulder. I have a really, like, muscular back, so. Especially when it's like women that's doing massage. Not my current lady, though. She's fire. But you don't really feel, like, that tension that you should feel or the pressure you should feel, but it's.

[Pat]

It's just a preference thing. Like chiropractor. Exactly. I rather have a guy. Cracking my back. Out of context. No, but for real, that. But that's just where I feel comfortable. I've had a massage by a guy before, and I was just like, nah, it just. It's just not.

[Carrie]

It.

[Pat]

I just don't know what it is.

[Carrie]

So it's your preference is their preference.

[Pat]

So be it. So be it. Come on now.

[Carrie]

I always.

[Pat]

I always feel dirty. I always feel dirty.

[Mike]

Dirty.

[Pat]

When they asked me, too, they'd be like, you want a man or a woman? I'd be like, oh, man. A woman. Is that okay to say here?

[Gene]

Yeah, y' all be living good, too. I saw your day in the life that you posted and you was getting facial massages and all that.

[Carrie]

I gotta do it, man. I gotta do something with my time.

[Gene]

Trying to make that 3, 500 a day so I can do that.

[Carrie]

I don't make 3, 500 a day. I wish I did. If I did, I. What is that a. A month? Let me just see.

[Pat]

Would you count? But what are you saying though?

[Carrie]

35.

[Pat]

I'm just saying you say you're making it every day. I feel like it's so unrealistic when people do that.

[Carrie]

When you're entrepreneur. You can't make money every day though.

[Gene]

Yeah, you can't. If you.

[Carrie]

It's 100. 100,000. A hundred thousand a month.

[Pat]

It's 100,000. 1.2 mil a year. That's crazy.

[Gene]

I ain't going to lie.

[Carrie]

Yeah, that's realistic.

[Pat]

100,000amonth is, is attainable.

[Carrie]

Yeah, that's attainable.

[Pat]

There's some streamers that's making 100,000amonth.

[Gene]

Flippers making 150amonth.

[Carrie]

But I was looking at the what the lottery is now. It's like 500 million or something like that. And I don't know if I won the lottery if I'll still be doing a podcast If I won $500 million.

[Gene]

But you don't do it for the love.

[Carrie]

I do it for the love. But the love. But the love has a price tag. Like why, why is a calling me Micro Mike in the comments When I'm $500 million up or putting ecstasy pill

[Pat]

Cuz it's gonna make you throw your life away. Cuz when you get 500 mil, only thing you can do is go down at that point. And if like we still doing a podcast and n calling me perky P Pat like Now I got 499 million left because I just put a million on this head.

[Mike]

You know,

[Pat]

I got the most expensive hitman.

[Carrie]

But you don't feel like you think you would still be doing exactly what you're doing if you had $500 million.

[Gene]

This is what I went to school for, so I get it.

[Carrie]

But. But you still think you would be doing the same thing. You don't think you'd be traveling the the world more?

[Gene]

I would be doing all of that along with what I want to do with which is stuff like this.

[Carrie]

I don't think I feel like your passions would change.

[Gene]

You think so?

[Carrie]

Yes. Cuz I love podcasting. Right. But if I got $500 million, I think my more of my time would be going into building businesses and, and products and stuff like that and just like investing in different ways.

[Gene]

Things that you do behind the scenes.

[Carrie]

Yeah. Because with podcasting it's like the more popular you get and the more well known you Are. It's. That's obviously the only way you can make more money in podcasting. Right? And I personally don't want to be. Be. I don't want to be super famous. I don't care about being super famous. But I know being famous comes with a price tag, especially in podcasting. But you come with, you know, get a lump sum of money and you can kind of disappear. I'd rather just be.

[Gene]

I can understand that.

[Pat]

Yeah, I think mine would change too, because I wouldn't have to, like, sit down as long. The only reason I'm sitting down this long, like, would have been done podcasting 50 minutes ago. If this podcast made that much money with us sitting down for 10 minutes, we just come in here until we're not having fun anymore.

[Carrie]

Like.

[Pat]

Like the. The exact moment it goes down to, like, damn, what do we talk? We just get up and leave. And I think that's what it would become. Like, I wouldn't podcast in, like, long form. I would just podcast more of just like, damn, this Pat dropped three episodes in five months type. You know what I'm saying? Like, and all, like, four of them was on a blimp.

[Carrie]

But you see that with, like, sports people, like, especially, like, in boxers, because boxing is a very. I would say, like, just a very hard sport. It's just like, a lot of toll on your body and, like, brain damage. So, like, when those boxers or even those fighters, they make a lot of money, when they make that. That big break, some of them lose the love for it because it's like. I mean, even for me now, personally, I'm. I'm doing well for myself. It's hard to, like, get back in the ring and be like, I'm about to fight for $500 or I have to do all this work to get these sponsorships, and then I go in the ring and whether I win, win against people that have nothing socially to lose, if I lose to any of these people now, it's like I get clipped up. But if I beat this person, it's like, oh, you should have beat this person. So it's that it's now getting harder for me to even book fights that don't make sense for myself, because obviously people ask me, you want your next fight? When's your next fight? It's like, if something big comes across and, like, it makes sense for me especially, like, the Ms. Tour and, like, somebody socially has something to lose or even just something that. It's just in my more control, like, I want to do on my time, then I'll do it. But, like, I get it.

[Gene]

I'm not.

[Carrie]

Not like. Like, I'm in that grind mode again.

[Gene]

Yeah. Like, when it's taking a toll on your body. Yes. I think there is a time limit for it. But if you're someone who just enjoys gardening and that's, like, your biggest interest, I think that might be something you continue to do.

[Carrie]

But that's like a personal. That's always like, a personal, like, to yourself kind of passion.

[Pat]

But it's impossible, though, because you'll go up in gardening. Like, you can love. You can love gardening and, like, the new technology. Yes, exactly. Or something. Exactly. So, like, as soon as you get the money.

[Mike]

Money.

[Pat]

Whatever you do now, when you have money, it'll be easier to do. Yeah, I think the passion doesn't change. Like, so maybe some of the actions do that. Exactly. So, like, right now, you gotta set up your camera. You gotta do this. If you have 500 mil, you still want to do your pot, everything will be set up. You would hire somebody for it.

[Gene]

Right.

[Pat]

Because you don't need to make money off the pod now. Now you can do it how you want to.

[Mike]

Right.

[Pat]

And I feel like all that stuff, like, you'll go through the process faster. You won't have to grind more. You won't do it as long. And I feel like. So, like, you end up not being as good at it and not seeing, like, the results of it.

[Gene]

Personally, I would want to evolve in it as well in the industry. Kind of like a charlamagne. I love bringing him up just because I like how he's evolved in media and what he's done with radio. But I think it would kind of look like that still in the industry, still helping people who maybe want to be in that same realm or that same niche. It would look different, but I think it would still be in that same.

[Carrie]

Yeah, I feel like that.

[Gene]

If that makes sense.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Gene]

So maybe you would go to teaching kids or training kids to do what you do.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Gene]

But you'd still be in the.

[Pat]

In the middle. A kid won't see me, bro. No, this up out of here, man. As soon as I see somebody, I would just be. It would just be very hard to keep me in places. Like, as soon as I see some not going right, I would leave. I'm just like, bro.

[Gene]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

Like, why the. Am I stuttering on tweet of the week? I'm rich. As soon as I. I would have stuttered, I would have got the up and Left. These ain't about to talk crazy about me. It's over with.

[Carrie]

I'm. I'm hiring a linguist right away.

[Pat]

No, for real.

[Carrie]

These saying, I can't say this certain word. Help me out,

[Pat]

right?

[Carrie]

There are some words I don't know how to say properly. I definitely would get a linguist or

[Pat]

something, because at that point, it's about. It's about the look, because you already have the money, so you really don't care. Care about, like, how, like, viral video goes. You care about how you look in that video that's going viral because you already have the money. So you don't need any results to bring you back money. You're not starving for money.

[Gene]

So, like, okay, what do you think Oprah is still doing, you know, her podcast and stuff for? She's Oprah.

[Carrie]

But I think that she's Oprah already, though. And I think she already likes that fame, and I think that fame still makes her money. I'm saying as somebody, like, we're not like. Like we're popular, but we're not that popular. So it's like, do I want to keep getting more popular than I am right now with 500 million? Because that's just. That's a grind still.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

To get more popular, to make more money.

[Pat]

Also. Also think people don't like, a lot of people be like, why such and such doing that? He got all this money. Like, if somebody has like, let's say like somebody like TI has $50 million in the bank, and then somebody tells him, like, yo, ti, you probably only going to make 500,000 from this pot in the next two years. He still might do it, you know what I'm saying? Because it's just like, that's still money to him. That's like a lot of money, like, to people. And I think, like, even somebody like Oprah just like, yes, she has all this money, but, like, if she can make a million dollars a year pod and. Or she got signed to a mint, she gonna take that. Like, I might as well. I ain't doing shit else.

[Carrie]

And her passion was like, what she's already still doing. And she's already. But she was already Oprah already. I would say Oprah is less popular than she is she now than she was before.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Carrie]

I was just saying at Oprah's height, I don't think is like, now.

[Pat]

Yes. Oprah couldn't even walk. Like, if Oprah walked in a mall at her peak, she'd be sworn, like, she wouldn't be able to talk now, if Oprah walking them on, somebody be like, ah, damn, you fine.

[Carrie]

Yeah. So like, it's like almost like. It's like. I'm not saying she's chasing anything. Like chasing relevance.

[Pat]

Yeah, but why is that offensive that I call Oprah find Fine.

[Carrie]

Why was that offensive? I didn't say offensive. I. I didn't say anything.

[Gene]

I thought you said she had a

[Pat]

f. No, I a say that.

[Gene]

Okay.

[Pat]

But she.

[Carrie]

All right. Anyway, that's been the podcast. Thank y' all for tuning in to Crash Dummy's podcast. Make sure you guys get live show tickets at crash dummies live.com. make sure you guys follow us on all platform. Carrie has a podcast brain squeeze that she has not invited us on yet. She keeps saying that. But we'll let y' all know when we're on the podcast. We'll post it some Somewhere Pat has a live show. It's in the description. Make sure y' all go. If y' all in Milwaukee, first of all.

[Pat]

Or Chicago.

[Carrie]

Yeah, or Chicago.

[Pat]

You can make wherever.

[Carrie]

Wherever you are if you want to.

[Pat]

We had somebody come from Detroit last time, so it's like, just so y'

[Carrie]

all know, this is a Pat stand up comedy show. Let y' all know, like, so it's not like the ordinary thing.

[Pat]

It's kind of like it's an experience, but experience. It's be me Gene also.

[Carrie]

So, yeah, just let y' all know that's what it is. So thing.

[Mike]

All right, bye.