Callers Only - Episode 206

Summary

Crash Dummies Podcast – Episode 206 "Callers Only" (May 14, 2025)

Hosts: Patrick Johnson ("Pat"), Michael Esiobu ("Mike")
Episode Theme:
A pure listener-callers episode, with Pat and Mike taking questions, scenarios, and rants from fans. The duo, joined by crew members Gene, Key, and Paige, riff on current events, “what ifs,” and personal pet peeves in a rapid-fire, joke-heavy, and sometimes chaotic format.

---

Overview

After a failed initial recording (they forgot to hit record for 49 minutes), both hosts are unfiltered and in full comedic roast mode. They invite callers to share phrases, actions, or people that annoy them; mistakes that still haunt them; and things they wish they could tell someone. The episode is high-energy, filled with relatable anecdotes, playful banter, and signature Crash Dummies humor.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Technical Difficulties and Episode Context

• (00:00–01:34)
  • Pat announces they're irritated because they'd already recorded nearly an hour and lost all audio.
  • “If you feel like this podcast is a little angry, a little aggressive, well, toughen up because it is.” — Pat [00:02]
  • Crew intros: Mike, Pat, Gene, Key, Paige. The names are listed for “acoustic listeners.”
  • Ongoing joke about Key’s presence being noticeable only through his breathing.

---

2. Pet Peeves: Words and Phrases that Annoy

• Caller 1: “Type” and “Hella”
  • (03:04–08:26)
  • Caller hates the phrase “type,” calling it pointless, a filler without substance.
    • “I hate, like, with a passion. The phrase type. I hate it so bad it makes no sense.” — Caller [03:10]
  • Debate about regional terms like “hella” (Cali) vs. “own” (Milwaukee), and how lingo varies.
  • Hosts joke about how lingo reflects local cultures and personalities.

---

3. Awkward Social Dynamics & Step-Sibling Logic

• Caller 2: How to Greet a Lesbian Stepsister
  • (08:48–13:34)
  • Caller confused about greeting: handshake, dap, hug?
  • Leads into hilarious debate about step-sibling status for adults. Is there an age cut-off for being official “step”?
  • “A 31 and 25 year old who parents get married…they’re not stepbrother and stepsister. Our parents just got married. We’re already grown.” — Pat [12:05]
  • Mike playfully argues the dictionary/law disagrees.

---

4. Early Fashion Rants & Homemade Lingo

• Caller 3: Jeans with Open Toe Sandals
  • (14:15–16:11)
  • Hates when people wear blue jeans and open-toe sandals.
    • “People who wear those blue jeans and open toe sandals…that shit bugging the fuck out of me. No baptism.” — Caller [14:39]
  • Introduces the self-coined phrase "no baptism" (variation of "no bap" = no cap).
  • Lingo spirals into “squeezer” for drivers weaving through traffic.

---

5. Mistakes that Haunt You: From Blunt Rolling to Intimate Regrets

• (17:11–24:34)

5.1. Airport Encounter

• Caller mistakes Pat for a personal acquaintance at his job; Pat claims not to know him. Caller only realizes later it's the podcast host.
  • “Milwaukee small. So I’m like, I don’t know if I actually know dude, but I’m like, I recognize the voice.” — Caller [18:14]

5.2. Relationship Overshares

• Caller shares about getting his “ass ate” by a girlfriend, and the regret is “who will do it if she leaves?”
  • “If I don’t have her in my life, who’s gonna eat my ass?” — Caller [20:06]
• Pat and Mike react with playful disgust, tease the caller about his relationships.

5.3. Career Pigeonholed by Competence

• Caller too good at rolling pre-rolled joints at work, company won’t promote him.
  • “That’s why you always give them 80%.” — Mike [22:45]

---

6. Group Outings, Broke Friends, and “Just Let Me Know”

• (25:31–29:12)
  • Caller hates when friends say “just let me know” — sees it as avoidance, lack of commitment, or a subtle “no.”
    • “Bro, we were trying to go out to eat and this nigga said, ‘Yeah, bro, just let me know.’ But…he ain’t got $5 for, like—cuz you know how like all chip in for a Friend’s Giving type…he ain’t got it.” — Caller [28:03]
  • Mike points out sometimes “just let me know” is people waiting to see if others will join; Pat jokes it’s a way to identify broke or uninterested friends.

---

7. Couple’s Call: Working with Husband’s Ex

• (29:23–34:33)
  • Woman says she wants to fight both her husband and his ex-girlfriend who now works with her.
    • “I’m working with my husband’s ex-girlfriend, and I want to beat her up—and him.” — Caller [30:02]
  • She’s annoyed her husband has “no type,” as the ex is “completely different” from her.
  • “She’s Indian… I’m Black. I’m Trini… It’s just everything is different.” — Caller [30:44]
  • Pat and Mike flip between jokingly mediating and stirring the pot, telling her to let go of 9-year-old drama.

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8. Cultural Stereotypes and “Nice Racism”

• (35:44–41:25)
  • Caller from Queens rants about Guyanese people, expressing disdain for being mistaken for Guyanese.
    • “Guyanese people just piss me off…I don’t know why, I do know why.” — Caller [35:52]
  • Pat and Mike call her out for being “the nicest racist person we've ever met.”
  • “I never knew racism came in this package like this. This is, like, nice racism.” — Pat [38:21]

---

9. Brief Rounds – More Mistakes, Annoyances, and Short Stories

• Unfair work burdens:
  • Caller who worked too hard at his job and can't escape his assigned task.
• Trivia on height and athleticism:
  • Several callers vent about tall, unathletic people, or joke about their modest height as a humbling factor.
• Roommate nightmares:
  • Caller’s roommate eats apples loudly at 12:30am, never washes his sheets, and may be the reason everyone else in the dorm gets sick.
  • “He never washed his bedding all school year until I got sick a few days ago…” — Caller [49:44]

---

10. Advice to Young Men and Relationship PSAs

• (55:23–57:22)
  • A caller uses his moment to implore young men to get out of “the streets” and settle down.
    • “To the young men, man, it’s not fun in the streets. Find a girl to settle down, create a family. You know, like Patrick…he’s not complaining about women because he got a kid.” — Caller [56:12]
  • Bit of tongue-in-cheek wisdom mixed with self-deprecation about height.

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Notable Quotes and Moments

• Opening Frustration:
  • “We just shot for 49 minutes and we forgot to hit record.” — Pat [00:00]
• On Lingo Variants:
  • “Just type. Type. I feel you, but I get it.” — Pat [03:35]
• On Adult Step-Siblings:
  • “If my mom married a guy and he already had a daughter and a son. Yes, that’s my stepbrother and stepsister at this age.” — Pat [13:00]
  • “But I would slap the shit out of both them flat out if they think that's possible.” — Pat [13:22]
• On Overachieving at Work:
  • “That’s why you always give them 80%.” — Mike [22:45]
• On Annoying Phrases:
  • “Bro, we were trying to go out to eat and this said, ‘Yeah, bro, just let me know.’” — Caller [28:03]
• On Relationship Drama at Work:
  • “I want to beat her up—and him.” — Caller [30:02]
• On Racism in Friendly Packaging:
  • “You are the nicest racist person I’ve ever met.” — Pat [37:44]
• On Dorm Room Hygiene:
  • “He never washed his bedding all school year until I got sick…” — Caller [49:44]
• On Settling Down:
  • “It’s not fun in the streets. Find a girl to settle down, create a family…” — Caller [56:12]
• On Height as a Limitation:
  • “Hey, man, I’m optimal. God had to nerf me. If I was any taller, bro, I’d be diabolical.” — Caller [56:37]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro, Technical Difficulties, Crew Roll Call: 00:00–01:44
• Annoying Catchphrases, ‘Type’: 03:04–08:26
• Greeting a Lesbian Stepsister & Step Sibling Logic: 08:48–13:34
• Open Toe Sandals and “People Squeezers” Lingo: 14:15–16:11
• Mistakes: Scenic Stories & Pre-Roll Purgatory: 17:11–24:34
• ‘Just Let Me Know’ – Group Outing Headaches: 25:31–29:12
• Couple Call: Workplace Drama with Husband’s Ex: 29:23–34:33
• Guyanese Stereotypes & “Nice Racism”: 35:44–41:25
• Work, Height, Roommate Hygiene Rants: 41:41–51:04
• Relationship/Street PSA & Height Jokes: 55:23–57:22

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Tone & Language Snapshot

• Language: Casual, raw, irreverent, intentionally playful and at times explicit.
• Tone: Comedy-rich, fast-paced, often self-deprecating, and peppered with roasting between hosts and at callers.
• Listener interaction: Warm but not coddling—calls get roasted, praised, or cut short depending on the vibe.

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Memorable Recap

• Technical headaches made the hosts double down on their candid, off-the-cuff style.
• Callers brought everything from relationship drama, pet peeves about phrases, step-sibling legalese, and passionate rants about lingo, hygiene, and wardrobe choices.
• The show does not shy away from roasting both hosts and listeners, turning even awkward silences or “bad” calls into podcast gold.
• The episode closed with reminders to support their Patreon, check out collaborations, and a tongue-in-cheek threat: “If you don’t like this episode, put your address in the comments.” [58:47]

---

Summary:
A classic Crash Dummies mix of chaos, community, and comedy—where anything can become a bit, no call is off-limits, and even an hour of lost audio just leads to an even wilder episode. If you want to understand how modern, caller-driven podcasts keep audiences engaged while never taking themselves too seriously, Episode 206 is a perfect example. Type.

Transcript

[A]

Yodie, what's the deal? We not gonna lie. I'm gonna just be like, very transparent. We just shot for 49 minutes and we forgot to hit record. So if you feel like this podcast is a little angry, a little aggressive, well, toughen up because it is. Am I pissed? Yes. Am I always pissed? Yes. Is it times two now? Yeah. Yes. So I apologize to future callers. I will not tolerate any today.

[B]

We actually, we jinxed ourselves because we said at the beginning of the last full pot we shot was that we're gonna jinx ourselves because we're doing a special today and we didn't hit record, so we did a. So this.

[A]

Oh, we not record.

[B]

Not just.

[A]

Ah, you got crazy. I never want to do a prank and somebody like, do something like after the prank. That's my fault. Like, somebody just like, slit they.

[B]

Or you actually make that person crash out. Yeah, yeah. And then go through the. Crash out the. But yeah. This is a listener caller only episode.

[A]

Yeah. We're going to try to make it a listener call. No promises whatsoever. And this is episode what, 206.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I feel like you didn't give people the proper intro.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Welcome to Crash Dummies Podcast. This is episode 206.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm Mike, that's Pat. We got Gene here, we got Key here, We got Paige here. So we got the whole crew here.

[A]

That's for our acoustic listeners that need a little. You know what I'm saying? They like to hear the same.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And some people like to know who's present.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Like, who all there type.

[A]

Like they don't want to hear Key's voice. Just randomly. And they like, man, I didn't even know Key was there.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

You just gotta listen to the breathing like. That.

[B]

Dressed like a Miller Light beer bottle. You. If it's good, laugh. Oh, ass with them spongebob ass glasses.

[A]

You don't like my glasses?

[D]

No.

[A]

You don't like my glasses, SpongeBob? No, for real. These glasses. Pretty good.

[B]

People have kind of been on your glasses, though, for some reason.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know why I feel like they hating. Why do you have black?

[B]

I just don't. I don't like the concept. Black, what they call frame black frames, white, clear lenses. I don't understand that.

[A]

That's usually the first glasses. Oh, it's supposed to be spongebob.

[B]

That's where it's from.

[A]

Oh, I got you.

[B]

I feel that. I feel it.

[A]

Yeah. Yo, yo, Yo.

[B]

Hello.

[D]

Hi. Hey.

[B]

How's it going?

[C]

I'm good. How are you?

[B]

Pretty good. Pretty good. Welcome to Crash Enemies Podcast. A mic.

[C]

Hi, Mike.

[A]

Oh, my God. Why she so quiet? Why you so quiet? What's going on?

[C]

Okay, ask me the question, please.

[B]

I got you. I got you. What's the phrase that makes you mad?

[C]

I hate, like, with a passion. The phrase type. I hate it so bad it makes no sense.

[A]

Type.

[B]

That's so immature, bro.

[A]

Type. But what she's saying is type, though. I hate it too.

[C]

It's like filler. It's like you're filling space, you don't have else to say. So you're saying type. Like you could just be silent, but type.

[A]

Just type. Type. I feel you, but I get it.

[B]

I get it. I do get it. When dudes use it, I feel you

[C]

say, I get it. You see how all of these things mean the same thing? Type just sounds stupid, but it mean

[D]

the same thing like you said, but it sounds stupid.

[C]

So why would you choose to sound stupid instead?

[A]

Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. Put some. Put some dookie on the keyboard. Type. Type.

[B]

He got me. I was like, what the fuck? But the fucked up part is sometimes type makes sense, though.

[A]

Yeah, it always makes sense.

[C]

It makes sense, but it just doesn't sound good. There's always something else that you can use in place of type.

[D]

Shit. No, no.

[C]

Why would you ever choose to use type shit?

[A]

Type shit, like, basically says something that doesn't need to be explained.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

So if I'm talking about somebody and I'm like, man, dude, a creep. Like, oh, how is he a creep? Oh, sometimes when dude, like, try to get through a big crowd at the party, he touched the girls. Oh, type, type, type. I already know what type of dude this.

[C]

For real.

[A]

You from Cali?

[B]

Hela.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I know somebody that say hella a lot. Hella is the same as type, though. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

They be saying, no, but hella. Hella is not the same type, though. So. So how's hella anything different?

[A]

I thought hella was. I thought hella was a lot.

[B]

Like, yeah, hela is a lot.

[C]

Hella can mean a lot of different things.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What are you talking to?

[D]

Like,

[B]

But how can. How can hella be used in different ways?

[C]

Because hella, like, you say hella can mean a lot, but it depends on the context. Like, if someone's explaining something to you and you're just like, oh, hella. Like, that means like, I get it. Like. Or if I'm like, oh, there's hella people over there. There's a whole bunch of people over there. Like, it depends on the context, but you could tell what it means by what you're responding to.

[A]

But. But if they from different places, don't that mean. Don't that mean something different? Cuz you from. You from Cali and that. They say y' all use hella in different ways. In Milwaukee, they say own. What? Do y' all use own?

[D]

What?

[C]

No. What?

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

So what the. What kind of logic?

[A]

On what y. On what?

[B]

So. But are you saying you don't. Cuz I. I'm on your side. You're trying to say that.

[A]

Whoa, whoa.

[B]

No, no, no. I guess what she' say, too, is that even though they say hella a lot out there, she don't use it all the time. Am I correct?

[C]

Yeah, no, it's only when it's necessary.

[B]

Like, that's when you use type, though.

[C]

No, every time that. Type. Every time that you feel like type is necessary, you could use a different word, is what I'm saying.

[B]

You can use a different word.

[C]

You could say something else. I was just using hella as an example.

[A]

Kind of. Like, I. I get that. Like, that's y lingo, but for like, hella just seems, like, so ditzy to me. If I was just like, dude, do

[D]

such and such stupid.

[A]

No, no, no, no. I ain't calling y' all stupid. But that's just y'. All.

[B]

He said ditzy, though.

[A]

Yeah, ditzy.

[C]

Ditzy. Okay.

[A]

Hello?

[B]

No, this is just a little bubbly.

[A]

It just like, that's different from, like, what we do. Like, y' all got your own lingo, though. You know what I'm saying?

[C]

Okay, well, then type, I guess. Well, that. I mean, type is just lingo too, then, ain't it?

[A]

Yeah, it's all lingo. It's only one of us. That's all lingo. It's only one of us that called into a podcast to talk the about it.

[C]

Okay. You don't. Don't make it seem like this is all me. Y' all picked up.

[A]

I was taking it away for this call. We don't know how you got on here now.

[B]

We appreciate you. You have a

[A]

type. Type.

[B]

Good day.

[A]

Type. Oh, what?

[B]

Now there are some dudes that do be saying type, and I'd be like, what? Yeah, I hate the people that explain something and expect the type to, like, fully explain it. Yeah, because like you said, there are some things they don't need explaining. So type it does, you know, belong there, but somebody be like, bro, I just went out, type, and then leave it there. Like, what do you mean? Just what. Like, what else happened?

[A]

Yeah, I just feel like you only can use type and hela. It's like, it's supposed to be a code between you and a person.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So if I just be like, oh, Mike, I went out to. I went out to Whitetail, but you know how that went. Type.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Basically saying, what night did we have the most at Whitetail? And, like, what's the thing? Okay, so what we doing right now? We talking in between callers. We transparent about everything because we fatigued.

[D]

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

[A]

What's the deal? Welcome to Crash on Me's podcast. What's good?

[D]

Not much.

[A]

Nice personality.

[B]

All right, you say you had a question for us?

[D]

Yeah, I got a question. All right. How do you guys greet your lesbian friend?

[B]

Like, what up?

[D]

Like. Like, for me, I have a lesbian stepsister. So, like, usually with females, you go in for, like, a hug, but I went for. I went for a dap and, like. Like, the dap and handshake, but she. Crap. Hold on. Trying to remember what I said on one second.

[A]

Like, he got like, the. Like, the stupidest voice ever.

[D]

Oh, hey, I'll step on you, Mike. Impact.

[B]

Wait, I didn't even say anything. What the.

[D]

I don't care. You got the straight, too, Mike.

[B]

They got slap the out you sent

[A]

you to the day, junior.

[B]

All right, go ahead.

[A]

Finish your story.

[D]

No, no, but I went in for a fist bump, and she went for, like, a handshake. That's adapt. Like, usually with straight females, you're going for, like, a hug. It just is awkward.

[B]

I mean, I. I feel like there's something everybody.

[A]

Yeah, like, that's just probably.

[B]

If I don't know a girl, usually, I'm. I'm.

[A]

It's a handshake, no matter what she is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know?

[D]

Yeah, but it's my sympathy.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Why can't you hug your stepsister?

[A]

You've never hugged her before. How long she been your stepsister?

[D]

It's like a year.

[A]

How old are you?

[D]

31. What the. Bro?

[A]

That is Dodger. No, you're lying, bro. No way you're this dumb. You think that's your stepsister?

[D]

Yeah, well, my mom married to her

[A]

dad, so how old is. So y' all only been stepsister and stepbrother for a year, and you're 31?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

How old is she?

[D]

25.

[B]

It's technically still a step sister.

[A]

No, it's not. Bro.

[B]

If their parents got married, they're too old. Is there an age limit to be step?

[A]

I get his point though. If you don't grow up as kids, then you're not stepbrother. Step brother, Stepsister.

[B]

Yes. This is dumb. Why is he dumb? So once you hit up. So once you're growing, you're not step no more? No. That's what you're saying.

[A]

Don't put in that statement because the way you phrase it is not right. A 31 and 25 year old who parents get married.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

They're not stepbrother and step sister. Our parents just got married. We're already grown. We're not step brother and stepsister.

[B]

But that doesn't make any sense. I have an 11 year old. I have an 11 year old.

[C]

What?

[A]

My dad does not. What are you talking about your parents.

[B]

Oh, step, step, step. We're not talking about half. Yes, got it, got it, got it. You have to get half.

[A]

You're agree key right now.

[B]

I think it half. Nobody should be agreeing with you. But still, they're still. Technically, they're still step siblings. There's an age limit. So basically what you're saying is once you hit over a certain age, you can't be step anything anymore. What's the point of being a step there?

[A]

Correct. You can't once you hit it.

[B]

So what the you talking about? So what's the age then? You can't just say an arbitrary thing.

[A]

You have to kind of grow up together at least a little bit. Hell no.

[B]

But you still by law, that's what it is.

[A]

If my mom. If my mom who's not unmarried. No, listen, no, listen, listen, listen. If my mom. If my mom married a guy and he already had a daughter and a son. Yes, that's my stepbrother and stepsister at this age.

[B]

We got married, they got married.

[A]

But I would slap the out of both of them flat out. They think that's possible. There's no such thing. Like nobody. Bro, our parents just got married.

[B]

What the. No, bro, that's not how that works.

[D]

Bro.

[A]

That boy want a new sibling so bad

[B]

that you hating now. You hating, bro.

[A]

Y' all welcoming anybody to y' all family.

[B]

Yeah, that's still your steps. That's still your step sibling. I have a step sibling that I haven't met a step. I mean. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, sorry. I keep going back to the same point. I already agree with you.

[A]

Yo, what's the deal. Welcome to crashing his podcast. What's good? And that was bad. What up? Yeah, what's the deal, bro?

[D]

Yeah, is everyone there today or just.

[B]

Yeah, everybody's here.

[A]

Everybody.

[B]

The whole crew.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What you gotta say to anybody?

[D]

Yeah, I've been. I've been supporting you guys since a minute. Since, like, episode five. So I've been with you for a minute.

[A]

Shout out to you.

[B]

I got a question for you. What's something that gets you mad but shouldn't?

[D]

There's many things, but the main thing. This has been bugging me since I was like, kind of a little. Little ass kid. People who are like, those blue jeans and open toe sandals that should be bugging the out of me. No baptism. I don't know. I don't know. Something about that to be bugging the out of me.

[A]

What does no baptism mean?

[D]

Am I lost? Hey, no bad, but no baptism. You know, we're changing it up nowadays.

[A]

But why are you saying no? No bap in the first place?

[D]

Hey, you gotta change it up. You know?

[B]

Who says no baptism?

[D]

No, B, I do. Come on. The person to make that, you say no baptism. People squeezers. Those people squeezers.

[A]

All the squeezes.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

What's the squeezer?

[A]

The whip, the whipping through traffic. He a squeezer? Is he saying he's a squeezer?

[D]

No, I'm not a squeezer, but Gotta make your own language. Same how Gene did that one episode,

[B]

I think. You're talking so fast. Where are you from?

[D]

What?

[B]

Where you from?

[D]

I'm from la.

[B]

Where you from?

[D]

From Pomona, California.

[B]

Where are you from? From? From.

[D]

Well, yeah, from here. From here.

[B]

No, where your parents from?

[D]

Oh, bro, they're all from Mexico.

[B]

It's funny how people are like that here,

[A]

Bro.

[B]

All right, you have a good one.

[D]

All right. There you go.

[B]

That boy. I'm gonna leave that in there.

[A]

If I hear Mike say it's funny how.

[B]

Get this off the ball.

[A]

What?

[B]

No.

[A]

Don't you think it's funny? Pull the plug on that, man.

[B]

This episode is presented to you by Underdog. Turn your takes into cash with Underdog by picking higher or lower on your favorite player stats. Make sure to support this show by hitting the link in the description and downloading Underdog sign up and deposit. Now using the promo code Dummies to get up to a thousand dollars of bonus cash and a free pick. Yo, what up?

[D]

What's good?

[B]

What up? What up? Pretty good yourself.

[D]

Welcome.

[A]

Welcome to Crash on his podcast, bro.

[D]

Appreciate it. Appreciate it.

[A]

Oh, I gotta ask you A question. Hold on.

[B]

My phone. I got you. I got you.

[A]

Oh, you got me. My phone was in my pocket, bro.

[B]

What's the mistake you made that still follows you today?

[D]

So it was about, I think, like, over a year ago. I work at the airport, and I had just started listening to y' all podcast, and I work here in Milwaukee, so I'm like, damn, I know, dude from somewhere. And I kept looking down there. I told one of my co workers that I was on the X ray at the time, and I'm like, I know, dude. I can't think of where I know it's knowing from. And my guy went over there. He was like, hey, my guy on the X ray said he know you. Pat looked back, and all he say is, I don't know that out of here.

[B]

Wait, it was about Pat.

[D]

It was Pat rude as. And I'm like, I. I couldn't remember, you know, Milwaukee Small. So I'm like, I don't know if I actually know, dude, but I'm like, I recognize the voice. But I had just started listening to the po. Took me, like, a week later when I started, when I listened to, like, the next podcast, and I was like, that's where the. I know dude from now. I was just like, dude, was Ruth in the vision. It was like I actually knew the

[B]

now. That is funny.

[A]

Nah, I still don't know you, though.

[D]

Hey, it's cool. It's cool.

[A]

We cool now, bro. I got you, bro.

[D]

But, yeah, it's cool listening to y' all shout out to all the audio listeners, man. Keep it going. Y' all doing some good out there.

[A]

I appreciate you, brother.

[B]

All right, bro. You have a good one.

[D]

You, too. Yo, yo, what up, what up? Bye, guys. Why are you guys laughing? What the hell?

[A]

That had little lemon particles on it.

[D]

Leave me alone.

[A]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[B]

All right, let's get to the questions.

[A]

All right? What's the mistake you made that still follows you today?

[D]

So, you know, when you're in a relationship for a while with another female, you experience different things, you know? And that thing I experienced was getting my ass ate. So, you know, you got to get in a position that don't feel so masculine, but it ain't that type of way, you know, that feel good. I ain't gonna lie. It's like you tense up a bit at first, but that should feel good. And anybody that say that is freaky. And you're not with that, you freaky run trains with other. And I'm doing this with my Girlfriend.

[B]

So how does this still follow you today?

[D]

You know, because I love my sexy girlfriend, and we're going through a tough time right now, and if I don't have her in my life, who's gonna eat my ass? All right, you guys gotta try it.

[B]

No.

[A]

Before. Don't even go down that route. I beat the out.

[D]

You really want to try?

[A]

No, actually, no.

[D]

Yeah, I bet you don't. I'm in Milwaukee. Don't. Don't try me.

[A]

No, no.

[D]

Are you there?

[A]

No, he's not there, you freaky ass. Dude, listen, listen. What's it. So you lost your girlfriend?

[D]

No, no, no. Don't, Don't. Don't wish that on me.

[B]

Oh.

[D]

Are you going forever?

[A]

Are you going through a.

[D]

Why you want my business, Pat? Me and my girlfriend are cool. We're. We're. We're. We're together.

[A]

Okay. So what's your message to your girlfriend? Because it sound like you're trying to get her back.

[D]

I love you, sexy. That's my message.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Some dude definitely got her balled up right now.

[D]

Hell, no.

[A]

Hell, yeah. She eating somebody else ass.

[D]

I'm gonna have you balled up.

[A]

I knew you were weird when you first got on the call. I'm telling you. All right.

[D]

Why are you always coming for somebody?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Whoa, whoa.

[D]

No, no. Whoa, whoa. Pause. What the.

[B]

This. I don't know. I don't know what's going on. Y' all have some type of relationship going on right now.

[A]

That's what the game. You going to play my big brother, man.

[D]

My big bro.

[B]

Big bro.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

That's your little bro.

[A]

No, it's not. Billy Baker.

[D]

All right.

[B]

You have a.

[D]

Hey, you, too, man. Hey. How you doing? Good.

[B]

Pretty good.

[A]

God damn.

[D]

My fault. OG

[A]

These are dudes that, like, y' all be wondering why some of y' all get to, like, talk at the beginning of the pod. And then some of y' all get asked a question right away. Like this dude getting a question asked right away.

[B]

All right, we got a question for you. What's a mistake you made that still follows you today?

[D]

Ah, man. So you know when you get, like, a new job, you know, you try to get. Make, like, a good first impression. So you're like, yeah, you know, I'm gonna work hard and fast and whatnot, not complain. I did too good at my job. Now I'm stuck in that bro. They won't put me in any other position because I'm too good at this one. That's why you always give them 80%.

[B]

What. What was your position?

[D]

So I work at, like, this warehouse that makes, like, edibles and pre rolls, and. But I'm at, like, the back making the, like, actual pre rolls. See, that ain't bad. But, you know, trying to get a raise and do some more, but they're like, oh, you're too good. You gotta stay at this.

[A]

Nah, that's not how companies work. I hate to break it to you, man. You're stuck. You got it.

[B]

My voice in the hamster wheel.

[A]

Yeah, man. You gotta. You gotta tell them you need a promotion. If you that good, then you should be to do that job and another job and get paid more.

[D]

Now, I told my coworker no. I tried. Just the thing is, they tried to put me in another position to train, and they had someone else doing my job. They're so bad that they fell behind so that they take me out of training, so, like, damn, I'm kind of cooked, bro.

[A]

They took you out of training and

[B]

then you gotta ask for a raise, bro.

[A]

Yeah, brother, it's time to get a raise. I mean, you're too important if you gotta take me out of training. Y' all can't survive without me for a day.

[D]

Yeah, I told my co worker I gotta go on vacation for, like, two weeks and see how they do that. So give me a raise or so for pre rolls.

[A]

You. You just stuffing them yourself?

[D]

Yeah, yeah. Damn. I could make them.

[A]

Here, little. Little man. Go. Go stuff the blunt, little dog.

[B]

This boy's a blunt roller.

[D]

But hey, I mean, if you guess, I'll do it.

[B]

That's fine, though.

[A]

You at work right now?

[D]

Of course.

[A]

Oh, put somebody more important on the phone, man.

[B]

I appreciate you, brother.

[A]

Appreciate? No, but I really appreciate you because I get pre rolls a lot, so, like, I really appreciate that.

[D]

Someone's got to do it, you know?

[A]

You realize, a hero, bro, you really should be celebrated, bro.

[D]

I respect that. I appreciate that.

[B]

It's like everybody's so hesitant to, like, accept your. Your praise.

[A]

Pre roll king, man. And I didn't even know y' all was doing it by hand. I thought y' all had some type of machine or something.

[D]

I mean, it's a small business. I mean, if we get big, I'm sure we'll buy a machine. But for right now, just a little like, me in the back. All right?

[B]

Oh, oh, oh, oh. I got you.

[D]

Okay. Yeah, I talked to y', all, like, a few days ago. Yeah, I'm verified.

[A]

I think it's the black.

[D]

He.

[A]

He got on Like a jersey and some cargoes or something.

[B]

Light skinned.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, he was light skinned.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

All you get a pass this time. All right.

[B]

All right. You have a going, bro.

[D]

All right, you too.

[C]

All right.

[B]

Peace Dummies podcast.

[D]

Oh, what's going on?

[B]

Not much, bro. Chilling, Podcasting this.

[D]

That's what's up.

[B]

What's he doing? What's the. What's the. What's the best thing you did today, man?

[A]

I don't know why you asking this dude no questions. Dude barely got a vocabulary. He's not even talking.

[D]

I'm waiting for that.

[B]

All right, I got you. I got you. I got you.

[A]

You say something, bro. Like, say something.

[D]

I got you. Best thing I did today was clock out, come by to leave work.

[B]

Good, bro. I'm proud of you, bro. I got a. I got a question for you. What's a phrase that you hate?

[D]

I hate? To show the passion. Just let me know. Or I year, bro. Just let me know. Like you. You know what I'm saying? Like, because so, boom. Real life example. Me and my boys trying to play a church of Japan and whatnot. I'm telling them how much everything's gonna cost. Are we gonna book, Hear the whole plan, Be like, yeah, bro, just let me know. But like that right there, bro, that should make no sense.

[B]

I think it's. I think it's because a lot of dudes are afraid of commitment.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's like, I think we as guys, sometimes we gotta be. See that thing in front of us. You gotta like to see like a Send, like an invoice and I'll pay it type.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You definitely gotta plan the whole thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You have to do it yourself in the bill. Like, yo, bro, it's this much to go with me. That's how I got to London.

[D]

I gotta print this out and put that in. Like.

[B]

Yeah. It's a weird thing.

[A]

You got a rare power as a guy, so you should help your other guy friend friends out because they probably don't got that power, man. You got the power to plan, bro.

[D]

That's bad.

[B]

Also, when people say just let me know too, it means that it's almost like they're trying to let you down easy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's like they're. Your idea is a really good idea. You might have said the. Really the. The right thing, but the price involved with it is just you hanging around broke, bro.

[A]

Yeah, just. Just let me. Just let me know. It's a challenge. Yeah, like, just let me Know, hold on, I'm talking. But just let me know is like a challenge, though. You know what I mean? So like, when somebody say just let me know. Then you challenge them back, like, nah, bro, I'm trying to do this right now. You know what I'm saying? And then they gonna let you know, like, all right, I ain't going there. That.

[B]

That is true. You have to. You have to challenge that thing home is like sales tactic. You don't let them get off the phone.

[A]

Yeah, ain't no. Just let me know.

[B]

What other situation was it used in,

[D]

bro, we were trying to go out to eat and this said, yeah, bro, just let me know. But I really write about the broke. I realized this was that broke because he was like, you ain't got $5 for like. Because you know how like trying to like all chip in for like a friend's giving type, right? We asked this. We asked this to get like cups and please. This said it and got it. I don't know. Just might be.

[B]

But it might not be. It might not be. It might not be broke all the time though, because. No, no, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. There's times when Pat says something to me and I had I say, just let me know because I want to see. I don't want to say no to it because. But I want to see if he's actually going to do it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So sometimes it's not about broken.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And sometimes it's about the person. Sometimes like I just let me know people who I don't want to hang with because they weird as.

[B]

Yeah. But not buying place to the friends. Giving is crazy though.

[A]

So you might be weird though, you know, I mean, you might be the weird friend. Everybody just say, just let me know too.

[D]

Cuz they. This is. This is. This is one in particular or you

[B]

are who you hang around, man. All right, bro. You have a good one.

[A]

Yo, yo.

[D]

Hey.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

What's the deal?

[C]

Nothing. What's up with you guys?

[B]

Not much. Not much. Chilling, podcasting and type.

[A]

Type?

[C]

Yeah. You guys just call my husband.

[A]

What?

[C]

Huh? Yeah. You guys just called him. I forgot what the question was. He had a question like five minutes ago. I think it was about his.

[A]

Oh, that's the dude that cheated on his girl.

[C]

No.

[A]

Oh, that's the dude. We only.

[B]

That's only gonna talk to one person.

[A]

Yeah, we only calling dudes that. We only call dudes that cheated earlier.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

All right, all right.

[A]

I got a question for you.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What's something you want to Tell someone

[C]

that I'm working with my husband's ex girlfriend, and I want to beat her up and him.

[A]

Damn. How it. How long you been dating your husband?

[D]

I mean, we've been married.

[C]

We've been together for eight years. Oh, nine years.

[A]

So nine years removed. Girlfriend. You still want to beat her up? Why? Ex girlfriend?

[D]

It's.

[C]

It's the fact that he has no type and she's completely different from me, and it pisses me off.

[A]

Wait, so. So what are you.

[C]

I could understand. I could understand if he had a type and, oh, we looked alike or we had the same mannerism, but it's just completely different.

[A]

Okay, what, you. What's. What's your bill? I mean, what you look like?

[D]

I mean, you're an idiot, bro.

[C]

She's like. She's Indian. She's older than me, I think, around his age. I'm black. I'm Trini.

[B]

Okay?

[C]

It's just everything is different.

[B]

This is the ultimate. This is the ultimate question. Who got the job first?

[C]

What do you mean, who got the job first?

[B]

Who was working there first?

[C]

Oh, she was, but. I work in the front office. She works in the back office.

[B]

It don't matter, though. You can't get mad. You can't.

[C]

And also, she's only been at the job for, like, two more weeks than I have been.

[B]

Nah, she was there first.

[A]

Why are you so. Why you so high with me? Say something to her.

[C]

I'm just saying. I'm just

[A]

saying there's. What's. What's. What's the real beef? Is there some underlying beef going on? Does she say something to you that got you like this?

[C]

No, I. But I do think she know that I'm his wife now, because she be looking at me, and I'd be looking at her. I know. I know for a fact that that's his ex girlfriend, but she don't know that I'm his wife, but I think she knows, but she's not saying anything.

[B]

Did you change your last name?

[C]

No.

[A]

How long. How long did they date?

[C]

How long did y' all date? Two years.

[A]

Can you get him the phone?

[C]

They want to speak to you again.

[D]

Yo, bro.

[A]

Bro, you so stupid. Like, why would you let your ex and your wife work at the same spot, bro? It's just so. Bro, that just. That just irritated my soul. Why would you let this go down like that?

[D]

Hey, man, I ain't. I ain't. I ain't let nothing go down, man. See, when she got the job, you see, I was asking what time to get off. Off. So she sent me a schedule and then I looked down the names and I saw her name. I was like, wait, is this so and so is her last name? It is like, yeah. So then she was like, why did you put a picture? And I was like, oh, that's my ex. It's kind of awkward.

[A]

So this is X right before her.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

How long ago was she an ex? When she got the job.

[D]

Oh, wait, she just got the job recently. So it's been nine years.

[A]

Well, that's not.

[B]

That's not even worth. You're an idiot. That's not your worst. Say that's your ex. Eight years.

[D]

Give her.

[A]

Give her the phone back.

[D]

Well, it's gonna be a wife.

[A]

Give her the phone back, little man.

[C]

I still st.

[D]

When you pack. I'm 66, boy.

[A]

Huh? Hey, you six? Six and stupid. Get the phone back to the wife, please. Big tall dumbo. Listen, but you don't. But what's it. I don't think you need to have no beef. It's. It's nine years. It's over with. Y' all need to let that. That's not even his.

[C]

No, it's really not. It's really not obese with her. It's just the fact that it's pissing me off with him that he has no type. Like.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And she's ugly, so I don't know.

[B]

Sound like you.

[C]

I think she's ugly.

[B]

Sound like you bored. That's some more shit.

[A]

Yeah, you definitely want. That's a good point. You want some drama in your life.

[C]

No, I definitely don't need no drama.

[A]

Then you need to let this go. Let this go right now on this podcast. Say, I'm done with my friend.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Or you can. What's your message to her?

[C]

Nothing. I don't have the message to her. His message would. My message to my husband would be. Never mind. I can't say what I want to say.

[A]

No, say it. Don't that say it. We already here.

[C]

I was gonna say he need to pick better girls, but he already did, so.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he already did.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's it. That's. Hey, that's a good. That's a good man.

[B]

Good.

[A]

Stupid man, but good man.

[B]

All right. Yeah, Good one.

[C]

You too. Bye.

[B]

All right. I feel like eight years is not even worth. It's not even worthy. Worth eight year for a two year relationship. So somebody got married.

[A]

That's his cousin. Yeah, like nine year relationship. Every ex that I got over and it's been five Years. We are now cousins.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

How's the family?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I hope your little brother is doing good. Your sister's still broke. God damn.

[B]

Now the sister.

[D]

God damn.

[A]

She's still mooching off your mom.

[B]

They all. There is always that one sibling. I feel like maybe not everybody, but everybody that, like, I've seen or that has siblings, they got.

[A]

That got a lot of siblings.

[B]

They got a lot of siblings. There was always that one sibling that is mooching.

[A]

Yes. Always, always, always one sibling that just can't get they. And it make no sense because you're looking at, like, the trajectory is like, what did you go through that? We didn't go. Yeah, what TV show you watch?

[B]

All right, we gotta call her.

[D]

Yo, can you hear me?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Can you hear me?

[C]

Oh, cool. Yeah, I can hear you.

[B]

Oh, great, great, great, great.

[A]

Oh, cool.

[C]

That's crazy.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

All right, I got a question for you.

[C]

What's up?

[D]

All right.

[B]

What's something that gets you mad but shouldn't?

[C]

Okay, so I have to preface this by saying I'm also West Indian, so I'm Bajan. And I get confused for this ethnicity all the time, but I cannot stand these people. I don't know why. I do know why, but Guyanese people just piss me off. Like, I'm from New York, actually. Have you guys, like, met, like, a Guyanese person? Like, I know y' all from the Midwest, and they don't be everywhere.

[B]

Met a couple of Guyanese persons. Oh, my. One of my favorite artists is St. John. He's a Guyanese.

[C]

Oh, no. Yeah. Like, the artists are cool, but, like, have you met, like, a Cully person? It's like an Indo guy laughing at me.

[A]

No, just describe him.

[C]

So, like, they look Indian but think they're black.

[B]

So what annoys you about what knows you about Guyanese people?

[C]

Okay, so I'm from Queens. There's, like, a bunch of them here. And they are a very delusional people. Like, just to give you a story, I remember being in school helping a girl fill out a form who's, you know, they're Indians, unfortunately. Like, they are of Indian descent and they're in the Caribbean. And she was like, what do I put for, like, my race face? Do I put black? And in my head, I was like, what makes you think you are a black person? And I tried to explain to her, like, no, you would put Asian. And she was like, yeah, no, no, not doing it. But also, these people, like, have no regard for like, you know, space or common areas. Like, they will literally sit in their cars and.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. This, like, I want to say this. I've never met a person like you. You are the nicest racist person I've ever met. You're just spewing hate and racism. Just because you got a nice voice does not make it okay. It was like actually nice to listen to.

[B]

I'm like, wait a minute.

[A]

She's being racist. This is not good.

[B]

Every guy needs person. I know. What the fuck?

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[D]

It's a small country.

[C]

It's a small country. That's the problem.

[A]

Yeah, that don't mean you could be racist. She talking about it. I don't.

[C]

No, but like, think of it like this. Like imagine this. There's only like 800000 of them in their country. And if, you know Guyanese people, they only date and marry and have kids with other Guyanese people. There's not enough of them for them to do that. So like they're all kind of inbred if you. I know it sounds crazy, but you really have to think about it.

[A]

No, I never knew racism came in this package like this.

[C]

No, but I'm also racism.

[A]

This flavor of racism is insane. This is like nice racism.

[C]

No, no, no, no. But they're all the same. I promise you. They are all the same.

[D]

Nothing.

[A]

There's no such thing as one thing on earth being all the same. There's two.

[C]

And I feel that about every other group of people except them. Okay, I've worked for them. Like literally, like I've worked for them as a nanny. Like I went to to school with them.

[B]

We're gonna get to the bottom of this. Did you ever date a Guyanese man or woman?

[C]

Yeah, but it was nothing crazy like,

[D]

you know what I mean?

[A]

Good, good job, Detective Mike.

[C]

Even like that.

[A]

No, it was cool what happened. Yeah, couldn't been too cool.

[C]

No, it was a long ass time ago. Like I was still in high school or something when I was surrounded by them all the time.

[A]

No, but it truly just ignorant.

[C]

Oh, no, no. And they racist as hell. They don't like black people. They'll be darker than me. Calling other people like n words like, you know, just casually throwing around racial slurs like that's what really started.

[A]

Are you just saying the ones you met are all 800,000 though?

[C]

Well, I've met like at least 1,000.

[A]

Can somebody give her the percentage number? Could be the percentage number of a thousand.

[B]

What?

[A]

A thousand to eight hundred thousand.

[C]

Oh, I have a question for you guys.

[D]

Hold on.

[A]

Slow down. Racist girl.

[B]

All the ratio.

[A]

Yeah. What's the ratio?

[D]

Go.

[B]

What percentage is a thousand of 800,000?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I'm the only one not looking. I like this.

[C]

I'm waiting to hear. Because I'm curious, too.

[A]

Yeah, I just want to see how stupid you are.

[C]

Wait, what?

[B]

0, 0, 0, 1.

[C]

Okay, but listen, when I tell you.

[A]

You don't even know 1% of Guyanese people.

[D]

People.

[A]

And you caught and you're, like, making all these statements.

[C]

In Queens, there's, like, so much. We literally have an area. Oh, Queens, New York. I'm so sorry. So basically, they have, like, a whole town called Little Guyana.

[B]

I used to live. There's a lot of West Indians in. In New York in general now.

[A]

This is crazy.

[B]

All right. What was your question, though?

[C]

What happened to that girl Paige right here?

[A]

Right.

[C]

Oh, really? She'll be in the pot as much. What's up? Yeah, I was like, I'll be saying wrong stuff.

[A]

You got something to say to her?

[C]

No. Like, you're pretty cool.

[D]

All right.

[A]

I can let you know now. She does not think you're cool. No, no.

[C]

But it's okay. But think about it. For me, I get confused of being like or accused of being a guynese person all the time. A lot of people think I am Guyanese, and I hate that so much.

[A]

There it is. She is racist.

[C]

Am not. I'm just trying to say it's okay. I'm not racist. Because they also think I'm one of them. And I have to quickly clarify that I'm not.

[B]

You have a good one, bro.

[A]

Peace. Peace. I've never met such a nice, hateful person.

[D]

Oh, what's good?

[B]

What up? What up?

[D]

No, what's good? I was just head back to work.

[A]

All right. Where you work at?

[D]

Amazon.

[A]

Nice. Nice, nice. For now.

[B]

You said. We said that last week.

[D]

Yeah, like the week before y. I said that. I said I was gonna call me. You know, I was like, bet I was happy y' all told everybody.

[B]

Do you know why

[A]

I tell everybody.

[B]

You know why, though?

[D]

Why?

[B]

Because the question was, what's funny to you? That's not supposed to be funny or that's not supposed to be funny. And there's a thing we do sometimes when or whoever's looking at the questions, answers, they might say yes to a question early on, but then get yes to other questions that might be better than yours. Your answer was racism. So it was like one of those things where we had a whole bunch of good callers at that point. Windy as hell. All right. Yeah, yeah, I feel you.

[D]

I feel you.

[B]

You're about to get hungry. How tall are you?

[A]

No, I know you little. I know you little. I tell you it.

[D]

I'm a grown ass dud.

[A]

Definitely. How tall are you, bro?

[D]

Be 20. I'm a grown ass.

[A]

Yeah, but how tall are you? I don't care about your age.

[D]

I'm 5 11,

[B]

bro.

[A]

I'm about to check your page, bro.

[D]

N. I'm taller than you.

[A]

N. I ain't five' eleven. I'm taller than five' eleven, bro. Oh, I'm looking at your bro. You five' four, bro.

[D]

I'm a grown ass, dude.

[A]

Yeah,

[D]

well, all right.

[B]

The question is, what's something you want to tell someone?

[D]

What? Something I want to tell someone?

[B]

Yeah,

[D]

I'm gonna tell y' all to call me. But I already did that. I'm gonna tell my old lady. Stop playing with me, yo.

[A]

Oh, what?

[D]

She.

[A]

How's she playing with you?

[D]

She be acting like she want me, sometimes you don't. I want some old lady. Stop playing with me.

[A]

How she.

[B]

How do she do that?

[D]

That. Well, sometimes she be. Sometimes she love me, and then sometimes she don't love me.

[B]

So.

[A]

I know what your grades look like,

[B]

so I'm looking at your answer now. It says, y'. All, first of all, why you spell like that? Why you spell. He spell this? How you spell and shut up. N, I, G, K, A, S. Come on. Can you agree with. Dude, his answer was, y' all some lames. Y' all ain't have to do me. Oh, what. What was that about?

[D]

Hold on, hold on.

[A]

Jeff Bezos.

[D]

No, I had. I had. Okay, cool. I had pain. Cool. But what was the question?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, bro.

[A]

Good luck at msi, man.

[B]

The up part. He's gonna make the pot just due to, like, literally us doing this listener call episode. Any other weak.

[A]

This here.

[B]

When do made the p. He got to make the we need you.

[A]

Any other time, I would have hung up.

[B]

Yo, yo.

[D]

Hello?

[A]

What's the deal? What's the deal?

[D]

I know this do. Oh, my God.

[A]

What?

[D]

What's up?

[A]

Welcome to Crash on his podcast, bro. What's good?

[D]

Appreciate it.

[A]

All right, I got a question for you. What's something that gets you mad but should, man.

[D]

Gosh, bro, when they be wearing, like, the open toe, like, why showing off your toes this disgusting? What makes should be doing that?

[B]

What makes you mad about that, though?

[D]

I don't know. It's Just. Just. It just irritates me.

[B]

Yeah, I know what that beat it

[A]

gets you hard

[B]

that way. Afraid of feet.

[A]

Yeah, he like, oh, put that away. Don't have your feet out around him, fellas.

[D]

Oh, my God, y' all was making fun of me last time.

[B]

What'd you say?

[D]

Last time, man, I was going on the lime scooter and I crashed and went to jail.

[A]

Oh, that must have been like a Patreon. Remember, that's where we put all the stupid names.

[B]

No.

[D]

Patriot know I answer this.

[A]

What you doing today, bro? How your Sunday going?

[D]

It's going beautiful. It's a nice day out. I know you're going to say some fucked up shit, but it's. It's beautiful day, you know.

[B]

Now you really be. You'll be giving people, like, trauma.

[A]

How?

[B]

Because he said. I know. Like, it's like they hear a normal question from you, but they know. I know Pat so much now because I listen to the pod that I know something toxic is going to come. So it's like I'm not even gonna brace myself for, like, a positive interaction.

[A]

So you can't be enough of a man and tell us how your day went, though. You know what I mean?

[D]

I just did. No, you didn't.

[A]

You tried to be very. You was Bland Park. You want to walk in the park by yourself?

[D]

Nah, I'm. My brother. I lost him. I don't know where the he went.

[A]

It's like your little brother.

[D]

My older brother.

[A]

Older bro. How old are you?

[D]

21.

[A]

How old is your older brother?

[D]

So four, I think.

[A]

I don't know why?

[B]

All right, bro, you have a go. Holding the crowds on his podcast.

[D]

What's good? What's good? Y' all called me again.

[B]

Oh, okay. Congrats, brother.

[D]

Appreciate it.

[B]

Did you make the pot last time?

[D]

No. Y' all called me today.

[B]

Oh, we did?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

We're not gonna talk about that. I was.

[D]

I was the said he could beat Mike Tyson.

[B]

Let me say that today.

[D]

That was like two hours ago.

[B]

Oh, the one that got deleted.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Hey, this your first time, bro? The audio got deleted, so I really don't even remember your answer, so.

[D]

Yeah, because I remember, like, I told y' all story. I was like, wait, they asking more questions again, but damn.

[B]

All right, what's up? Do you. What's. What's something you want to tell someone?

[D]

To my ass roommate. Stop eating apples at 12:30 in the morning when I'm trying to go to sleep. No, no, no. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let Me tell you. Let me tell y', all, bro, because I. I mean, I take like four classes a day, like on Monday and. Right. You know how. You know how his. Because first of all, this stinks. He smells like ass. He didn't wash his bed sheets for the entire year. I'm not with y'. All. This had like dangerous and weird white on his cheek. He thinks above me. So can you imagine having four classes coming back at 8 o'? Clock? First of all, the loose was like, sit. So you gotta open the window, though. And then you shower. You do everything. And the. Jess. Like, your day is finally over. All you hear. All you hear in the corner of your ear.

[B]

Why in the corner of your ear, though?

[D]

Because he's like, oh, I. I slept on the left side of the bed and his death is like on the far right side. He doesn't go to bed till like 4:00am okay.

[A]

Oh, damn.

[D]

So he's.

[A]

He's like, you sleep under him?

[D]

Yes, bro.

[A]

Oh, yeah. He definitely. He definitely dropped some seon on your head.

[C]

No,

[D]

The kicker of it all, he never watched his betting all school year until I got sick like a few days ago. Like four days ago. Me and my. Because I'm in a three person room. I'm in college. So me and my other roommate, not him, we both got sick. And then the second we get sick, this has the audacity. So finally wash his bed.

[A]

That is the exact reason he didn't get sick.

[D]

He was sick like five times throughout the year.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

So I'm pretty sure he was like, the reason we got sick.

[A]

Okay. He's gotta blame y' all and sheets now.

[B]

So the question. The question is then, have you told him this?

[D]

No.

[B]

Or told him this?

[D]

No. Because look, cuz, honestly, I. I get like. I get like weird vibes from this. Like he has no friends, like, nothing. Like, I. I'm just nice to this because I don't know if he gonna do some crazy one day.

[B]

So you're afraid of him?

[D]

In a sense.

[B]

So why you call him a. If you can't stand on it?

[D]

Well, first of all, I live with the what? He like, chokes me out of my sleep, man.

[A]

You let him drop semen on your head.

[B]

All right, bro, you have a go.

[A]

That ain't dangerous, man.

[B]

You have a good one.

[A]

That white stuff ain't dangerous, man.

[B]

Appreciate it, boy. Really meant from went from not making it to actually making it.

[A]

No, the apple is funny. Apple at 12:30. I'll be so heated

[B]

in the garbage.

[A]

I swear.

[B]

Ready yo, yo.

[D]

Hello.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

Yo, yo, what's the deal? Welcome to Crash on Me's podcast.

[D]

Hey, what's up? That's Mike.

[A]

No. Yeah, sure. It. For the sake of this conversation, just did not go back and forth. Yes. All right. We got a question for you. What's something that gets you mad but shouldn't

[D]

unathletic? Like, tall people.

[B]

We say that again.

[D]

Yeah, like tall people that just unathletic, you know?

[B]

Yeah. How tall are you?

[D]

I'm five nine, but no, you definitely five seven.

[A]

I know a five seven, man. Bro, I.

[B]

It does. I'm not gonna say it makes me mad. I think it's more jealousy when I see somebody that's like 6 6, and they don't play no sport. They got, like, crazy genetics, and they don't actually. Like, not even just like, I don't care if they didn't make it pro, but if they don't play a sport at all, like, bro, I don't play a sport. It does make me mad, but it's more envy.

[A]

I ain't gonna lie. The greatest teacher in Pontiac High School teach Pontiac High School history to me is. His name is Mr. Spencer, and he's. He was like 6, 5, 3, 10. And he used to always tell the story, like how he got a offer from the University of Michigan.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But turned it down. And now he here teaching us. And I used to look at this. Why, brother, I'm not even doing this work.

[B]

All right, bro. You have a good one.

[D]

All right.

[A]

We barely said that. Stupid.

[B]

Now, he had a good point, though. I like those type of points where it's like. Cuz I know he wasn't going to elaborate on it.

[A]

Yeah, you tell he a elaborate on nothing in life, everything just been one word.

[B]

All right. Yo, yo, yo.

[D]

Hey, can you guys hear me?

[B]

Yes. Can you hear me?

[D]

Yeah. Hey, my name is Michael. What was the question?

[B]

I got you, bro. Yeah, yeah. I got you, bro. What's something you want to tell someone?

[D]

Okay, okay, okay. So I kind of quietly quitted on my ex and cheated on her. But the thing is, I still get tattooed by her occasionally.

[A]

It's nice.

[B]

So you cheat. So you're still in a relationship?

[D]

No, no. Okay. She wants to be in a relationship with me, but I've completely canceled things with her. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

So I was at your ex.

[A]

Come on, Mike.

[D]

No, I dated her for three months. Never committed into, like, a relationship with her.

[B]

That's not cheating there.

[A]

I want y' all to see exactly. Exactly and the crowd want everybody, and that's watching this right now to give props to Mike. Like, this call. This call has been dead from the start, and Mike is consistently working with this dude and trying to make this call. So shout out to the listener and shout out to Mike for trying to make this happen. But it just didn't happen, man.

[B]

It wasn't.

[A]

It.

[B]

Yo.

[C]

Hi.

[D]

Sorry that I have manners.

[B]

Oh, man. Oh, man. No, it's the comedic timing of your high, bro. And the way you said it.

[A]

We just got done with a really bad caller, so it's just like how you say hi. It wasn't you, bro.

[B]

Honestly, bro, no matter what you say, bro, you're gonna make the pot. Just know that.

[D]

Awesome.

[B]

I got you.

[D]

What?

[B]

What's something you want to tell someone?

[D]

Damn, I forgot what I said. I'm not going to hold you.

[B]

Hey, you making. I swear to God, I don't care what you said here. You forgot you making it.

[A]

I swear, he could lose it.

[D]

No, no, he not.

[B]

You're not going to lose it. Come on, bro.

[D]

This my ex, man.

[B]

He just ran. Go ahead. Hey, we got.

[D]

Now, I'm going to keep it fast. I'm going to keep it fast. You know, like when you young and it's like, oh, you get, get, get. But it's like, bro, that's nothing compared to the girl of, like, you, the good girl, you know, Buns is everywhere.

[B]

He went with the safest quote. He said, I'm making this. It said. It said you had a psa. What's your psa then?

[D]

That was my psa.

[B]

Go ahead, say it. Start.

[D]

Started with psa then he has faith to the young men, man, it's not fun in the streets. Find a girl to settle down, create a family. You know, Like Patrick, like, Pat got a kid. You see, he. He's not complaining about women because he got a kid.

[B]

What kind of is that?

[A]

How tall are you?

[D]

Five, six? Yeah. Hey, man, I'm optimal. God had to nerf me. If I was any taller, bro, I'd be diabolical.

[B]

So you think your height keeps you humble?

[D]

It does.

[B]

Well, in what way, though? Like, what was something you would do if you were 4 inches taller?

[D]

Let me tell you something. You guys ever see, like, a basketball player's, like, Instagram bio? It just says six feet. Y' all seen that before, right? Yeah, exactly.

[B]

So what would you do if you're a 4 inches taller?

[D]

This literally goes against what I just said, but I get more women.

[B]

All right, bro, you have a good One.

[D]

Happy Sunday.

[A]

Hey, are you. It sound like he talking up to the phone. Like the phone on the kitchen counter.

[B]

He said, oh, man. Oh, man. All right, y', all, I hope you guys felt appreciated because one, we shot for an hour of listener calls before the audio got deleted.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

So we sat through another hour of listener call. It's actually like an hour and 20 minutes, actually. Yeah, that was the first time this

[A]

ever felt like a 9 to 5 like that. I'm not gonna lie that y' all will be lucky to get any more episodes. I might go back to corporate world.

[B]

I appreciate everybody who's on the the podcast today. Do appreciate y'. All. Make sure you guys subscribe. Subscribe to the Patreon. And what else do I gotta tell them to do?

[A]

Also, go over to tmg. Show our new team some love. We just dropped the episode with Noel. Go check that out. Let us know how you feel about that. And also you hearing this in the future, but you should have heard we just had a guest on. Let us know how you feel about the guests.

[B]

Yeah, and about this episode as well, too. So I don't know.

[A]

I don't care what you think, my Y man. If y' all like this episode, it is what it is.

[B]

All right, y', all, this been episode 206 of Crash Dummy's podcast.

[A]

Actually, wait, wait. If you don't like this episode, put your address in the comments.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Get it.

[B]

Happy birthday to key.

[A]

Oh, yes, sir. How old you turn?

[B]

23, 29.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, y did the promo. I got a show coming up June 6th, and I got a show. I mean, I got a song dropping next week Friday. Show details will be uploaded on say dates because this is coming out. Yeah, yeah, you said next week Friday. Nobody got Fridays. Next week Friday. This is dropping the 9th. May 9th. They got try to argue. All right, y', all, please.