Our Listeners Hate Their Jobs - Episode 254

Summary

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Crash Dummies Podcast | Episode 254: "Our Listeners Hate Their Jobs"

Release Date: April 15, 2026
Hosts: Pat Johnson, Mike Esiobu
Guest Host: Carrie
Theme: Listeners call in to share what they hate about their jobs, while Pat, Mike, and Carrie riff on relationships, social commentary, and life on tour. The episode delivers a mix of listener stories, hot takes, and trademark humor.

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Main Theme

The episode centers on job dissatisfaction among listeners, illustrated through live call-ins, and weaves in discussions about modern work life, relationships, social media expectations, and the Crash Dummies’ own recent tour experiences. The tone remains loose, irreverent, and always ready to subvert expectations, with plenty of off-the-cuff moments and comedic tangents.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bartering and the Value of Labor (00:38–04:29)

• Bartering in Modern Life:
  Mike brings up a story of a man trading pit bull puppies for a Nissan Altima as a down payment, leading into a spirited conversation about the value of bartering, services vs. cash, and exposure as a currency in creative industries.
  • Pat: “I'd rather just barter at this time. I'd rather just get a service from you. Or even though it might not be equal to me, but it's just, like, one of those things where it's like, I like that.” (02:17)
  • Exposure Doesn't Pay the Bills:
    Pat and Mike vent about being offered "exposure" instead of compensation and the false equivalence often presented by others in the creative space.
    • Pat: “If I think that doing this would get me exposure, then I would do it…” (02:37)

2. Live Show Recap & Fan Interactions (06:11–09:38)

• Visual vs. Audio Listeners:
  Mike describes key differences in crowd energy between cities, with a notable contrast between audio-only crowds in Nashville and visual followers in Chicago and Atlanta.
  • Mike: “There is a difference between audio listeners and visual listeners…The Nashville crowd exploded when we asked for audio listeners. They were just watching us with smiles on their faces the whole time.” (07:15–07:50)
• Awkward Meet & Greets:
  Humorous take on fans commenting on the hosts' size.
  • Mike: “Do not come up to us and say, man, y’ all, way bigger in person. Just say taller. Just say taller, big bro.” (09:10)

3. Relationships, Cheating, and Social Norms (09:51–13:15)

• Open Relationships & ‘Hall Passes’:
  Discussion on viral clip of Nikki Glaser allowing her husband to sleep with others for the sake of new stories, sparking debate on the differences between emotional and physical cheating.
  • Carrie: “Emotional cheating...definitely, it hurts a lot more because you actually care about this person. Kind of like when a woman cheats, she's gonna cheat because she allowed for that man to get in her ear...” (10:55)
  • Mike: “I don't want to be with a woman that would even allow me to do that. Because now I'm confused. What's going on on your end?” (11:49)
• Open vs. traditional values:
  The group agrees that while respect for differing relationship setups is important, confusion and discomfort remain regarding non-monogamy.

4. Family, Aging, and Cutting Off Toxic Relatives (16:55–21:28)

• Role Reversal with Aging Parents:
  Mike reflects on a viral tweet about parents becoming like children as they age.
  • Mike: “After a certain age, your parents slowly become your children. They ask simple questions, repeat stories...Care for them the way they once protected you.” (16:55)
• Boundaries with Family:
  How and when to cut off toxic relatives—consensus is that immediate family gets more leeway, but repeated disrespect justifies distance.

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5. Listener Call-Ins: Work Woes

a) TSA Worker – The "Meat Manager" (28:00–33:36)

• Job Complaint:
  Hates “touching meat all day” (pat downs), especially as sweaty summer travel increases.
  • TSA Worker: “If your ball is sweaty, you going alarm in the groin. If you alarm in the groin, we gotta pat down that whole area. Groin, buttocks, inner thighs. So you just backhanding meat all day?” (29:17)
• Government Shutdown Issues:
  Describes the unpredictable pay cycles and how TSA agents are sometimes owed back pay.

b) Philly – 6'6 Starbucks Barista (34:05–38:25)

• Starbucks Frustration:
  Complicated custom orders and unreasonable customer demands.
  • Philly: "I had somebody today get a hot matcha with three espresso shots in it. Dude, it was like this...green, dark green, gray looking thing." (37:10)
• AI-generated drinks and viral trends:
  Employees get no advance warning of marketing stunts, resulting in confusion and stress for frontline staff.

c) Honesty, Relationship Woes, and Serial Cheating (38:30–54:02)

• Why Are You Single?
  A mix of real talk and wild confessions—one caller admits they cheat for "the thrill," then complains about being cheated on themselves.
  • Koni: “I just keep cheating, bro. I got a passion for cheating.” (49:17)
  • Pat: "You deserve everything you got, bro." (53:14)

d) Corporate Climbing & Workplace Creeps (56:10–60:51)

• Kissing up & Workplace Intimacy:
  Callers joke (and get serious) about being pressured to "suck up" in more ways than one to get ahead, with stories ranging from humorous metaphors to deeply personal workplace confessions.

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6. Lightning Round: Deep and Ridiculous Questions

a) Which Would You Rather Smell Like? (61:16–66:12)

• Mike asks: If you had to be “stank” forever, would you choose pissy, shitty, mildew, or musty?
  • Pat: “Mildew is like one of those smells you can blame on your environment... I think mildew is the way to go.” (61:31)
  • Carrie: “I have to say either between pissy or musty.” (62:03)

b) Social Media and Relationship Expectations (66:41–68:30)

• Pat: "Y’all relationships don’t work because y’all listen to social media instead of your man." (66:52)
• Panel discusses the pitfalls of applying social media trends to real relationships, including clashing desires for tradition vs. modernity.

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7. Generational Gaps & The Military Draft (69:04–70:49)

• Announcement that males 18–25 will be automatically registered for the US military draft, leading to jokes about Gen Z’s readiness.
  • Carrie: “Do you trust for us to be defended by...them?”
  • Pat: "They’re more fearless... consequences don’t really register.” (69:58)

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8. Conspiracy Theories, Privacy & Tech (81:00–83:38)

• Paranoia about government listening via phones; reality vs. absurdity in conspiracy culture.
  • Pat: “The conspiracy theories about like the government listening to us and our phone listen to us, it's like, yes, it's happening. There's nothing you can do about it.” (82:54)

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9. R&B Legends, Usher/Chris Brown Tour, and the Infamous “Cherry in the Mouth” Test (83:54–86:25)

• Carrie asks if the guys would allow their girlfriends to sit close at an Usher show for a possible onstage serenade.
  • Pat: “There’s no winning that situation.” (85:01)
  • Mike: "I would leap up and bite at myself." (85:46)
• The group agrees navigating R&B star audience participation is a delicate, lose-lose scenario.

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10. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Do not come up to us and say, man, y’ all, way bigger in person. Just say taller." — Mike (09:10)
• "After a certain age, your parents slowly become your children. They ask simple questions, repeat stories…" — Mike quoting a viral tweet (16:55)
• "All she had to do, she just started throwing ass and people right back for real, like, oh, my God, Doja, I forgive you." — Mike (00:38)
• "I just keep cheating, bro. I got a passion for cheating." — Koni, Listener (49:17)
• "If your ball is sweaty, you going alarm in the groin." — TSA Worker (29:17)
• "People be saying TSA stand for the sexual assault." — TSA Worker (30:04)
• "It's called the puzzles." — Mike on loving all the girls (50:31)
• "You gotta make them." — Koni, on finding a 'wholesome hoe' (54:41)

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Important Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|------------------------------------------| | 00:38 | Bartering, creative labor, exposure | | 06:11 | Live show recap, visual vs. audio fans | | 09:51 | Cheating, open relationships, Nikki Glaser segment | | 16:55 | Parents-age role reversal, family loyalty| | 28:00 | TSA Worker call-in: job woes, shutdowns | | 34:05 | Starbucks barista call-in: difficult customers | | 38:30 | Relationship calls: breadwinning, cheating, heartbreak| | 56:10 | Workplace metaphors & real-life creepiness| | 61:16 | Stank poll: pissy, musty, mildew, or shitty| | 66:41 | Social media’s effect on relationships | | 69:04 | Military draft, Gen Z readiness | | 81:00 | Phones, privacy, conspiracy culture | | 83:54 | Usher/Chris Brown tour, 'cherry' scenario| | 87:20 | Shout-outs, live show plugs |

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Tone & Style

• Language: Direct, uncensored, playful banter
• Vibe: Candid, humorous, sometimes absurd but insightful; plenty of in-jokes, callbacks, and moments meant to catch both the audience and each other off-guard.

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Closing & Live Show Shout-outs (87:20–end)

• Carrie plugs her Instagram (@Koni_) and Brain Squeeze podcast, jokes are made about wedding invites and podcast etiquette.
• Final live show tickets push: “Philly, Baltimore, Boston — get your tickets!”

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Summary Takeaway

This episode doubles down on listener participation, sharing the honest (and sometimes wild) realities of modern work and relationships, all filtered through the Crash Dummies’ distinctive irreverent lens. Job frustrations, evolving relationship norms, and navigating social media pressures make up the meat of this episode, with plenty of laughs, raw honesty, and unfiltered discussion.

Whether you’re in it for the humor, the hot takes, or to commiserate about hating your own job, this episode serves up the full Crash Dummies experience.

Transcript

[Mike]

She in racial chat rooms showing feet.

[Pat]

Where'd you get that from?

[Mike]

Nori tweeted that.

[Pat]

Is that about doja, Cat?

[Mike]

I think it's about doja. I don't know why that's on my brain. Like, why was she in racial chat room showing feet? It's like insane. And she got away with that shit. Boy, I told you there's no such thing as cancellation.

[Pat]

Oh, man, I feel like there's. There's such thing as cancellation, but only for a crowd that you probably weren't going to. That wasn't your crowd anyway.

[Mike]

Yeah, people so. People so dank, bro. All she had to do, she just started throwing ass and people right back for real, like, oh, my God, Dojo, I forgive you. Somebody said, bring back bartering. And it comes from a story of a man in Oklahoma traded four pit bull puppies for a Nissan Altima as his down payment.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

And I think that is so dope because there's so many people out here that don't got liquid money.

[Pat]

Liquid money.

[Mike]

But I'm just saying, you know, I'm saying, like, I don't have, like, I don't even have this shit in credit right now, but I do have a service, you know, I'm saying, like, bro, I can give you a shout out. Amen. Shout out to Jim down there at Maybach. Selling Maybach, man. That's my down payment. Come on, man, let's ride.

[Pat]

I like. I like bartering. Like, I think that's something I did coming up. And I implore everybody to. To try that as well. Especially when you floor. Implore.

[Mike]

No, I don't know. That's a good word. I'll just. I was giving you props.

[Pat]

Okay. Because when I started photography many years

[Carrie]

ago, I didn't know you were a photographer.

[Pat]

Yeah, I do a little bit of.

[Mike]

Yeah, he used to take pictures of just booty holes,

[Pat]

but that's. There's. There's things you can do to. To get other services. I still do this to this day sometimes. Some boxing lessons. I might. I do videography too, so I might shoot a video in exchange for boxing lessons or something.

[Mike]

He downplaying. So he called. He actually, like, really good. But it just like, I feel like the cost of doing it and like, what we earn now in podcasting is very hard to book you.

[Pat]

Yeah, it's very hard to, like, I would say it's like the money wouldn't be worth doing it. I'd rather just barter at this time. I'd rather just get a service from You. Or even though it might not be equal to me, but it's just, like, one of those things where it's like, I like that.

[Carrie]

How do you feel about. If you're about to work with somebody and they're like, oh, well, it'll just give you exposure. How do you feel about that?

[Pat]

I don't like that. But is. There's also. I hate when people leave with the exposure part.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Because if I think that doing this would get me exposure, then I would do it, you know? Like, there's certain things I tell people. Sometimes you have to do things for free to. To kind of get in the door. Right.

[Mike]

But there's some bullshit.

[Pat]

Yeah, it is. But there's a. There's a point of, like, taking advantage and, like, actually giving exposure, because some people that be saying exposure, they don't really have good exposure.

[Carrie]

They got fake bots.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Philly]

Yeah.

[Pat]

There's no. No one that has really, like, a whole bunch of, like, following and, like, a real loyal fan base. They now be like, oh, I'll just give you a shout out and stuff like that. Like, that doesn't work.

[Mike]

Like, bro, am I talented or not?

[Pat]

My.

[Mike]

Like, what is all this exposure shit? You want me to come on your podcast and, like, make it funny?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And he's like, oh, bro, we got these followers for you now. There is. Like, if you can visually see this, like, okay, every time somebody go on that show, there's a whole new audience picks it up. So, like, obviously, we can never charge to be on, like, a podcast that's bigger than us or. Or even the same as us for, like, cross promotion because they have a different audience, that's something we can't get. But if there was a podcast that was doing listener callers, and they wanted us to come on their podcast, and we have way more followers than them, then yes, nigga, I need a thousand and another thousand to actually say something on the mic. I'm playing.

[Koni]

I'm playing.

[Pat]

No, it's always. It's. It's hard to. Like, we. We talked about this. I don't know if we said this on the pod, but we had, like, people come on the. Want to come on the pod and be like, love to collab with y'.

[Koni]

All.

[Pat]

And we'll be like, all right, pull up. And they'd be like, oh, that'd be like $5,000 or something like that.

[Carrie]

People are met. The podcast game is getting messed up with people trying to play their way, and that is not how it goes.

[Pat]

We. We will never Pay for a guest. And the reason. The other thing. Sorry, go ahead. The other thing is that if there's a guest that was worth having on or worth paying, we wouldn't be able to afford it.

[Mike]

Yes, that's the only thing. It would have to be Will Smith. And then he like, man, just throw me 2500. Now, we can throw you $2000 and we won't ask about you slapping that.

[Pat]

But. But you see the price. You said 2500, right? Yeah, we can afford to pay somebody 2500, but Will Smith. Why would Will Smith be asking us for $2500?

[Carrie]

Yeah, you know, I mean, that's petty.

[Mike]

Yeah. But I. But I get it for those other type of podcasts. Like some podcasts where their guest base, like, yeah, you're interviewing Charleston White, and you basically about to ask him five questions and let him rent. Like, yes, he.

[Pat]

I get it for those.

[Mike]

Yeah, he deserves to be paid. That's the other thing about us. That's why we would never charge any. That's why we don't do any podcast that we don't want to do, because we would never charge for it. Because, please, God, I'm letting y' all know this now. If you have a podcast and for some reason you ever get us on your podcast, if you ask me more than three questions about myself, I'm getting up and leaving. I've done nothing in this industry to be interviewed.

[Pat]

Like, personal stories, though. Huh? It could be, like, more personal stories.

[Mike]

Your personal stories is cool. But, like, if I get on the podcast, don't ask me, like, how I started my podcast. Like, come on, ask me. Would you rather. So I can get busy in this.

[Pat]

That's not what we're doing.

[Mike]

Hello.

[Pat]

Hey. The radio is for people who are driving.

[TSA Worker]

I'll drive them.

[Pat]

Welcome to Crash Dummies podcast. Anyway, welcome to crash dummies, episode 254. I'm Mike. I said I'm Pat. That's Pat. We got Carrie in the building today.

[Carrie]

Hey, y', all, what's up? And you know what, y', all, I actually want to start with this because I've been really mad at them for the past week because they ignored my text message when I was. Was just trying to wish them well on their shows. What's up with that?

[Pat]

Do you text us on a Monday?

[Mike]

What time you text? It was early 6:45am My girl, don't let me text nobody back after 6:30.

[Pat]

But we had a.

[TSA Worker]

We.

[Pat]

We were stressing the day. That day we were leaving Though, that morning. Yes. It. We couldn't find a car. We didn't know where. How we were going to get to the next show.

[Mike]

Our flight was.

[Pat]

Our flight was delayed.

[Carrie]

I didn't know. That means you couldn't say, oh, thank you.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Pat]

This is what happened.

[Mike]

We.

[Pat]

You know when a lot of shit's happening and you're trying to contact multiple people to find a solution to something?

[Carrie]

No, I get it.

[Pat]

So your text message starts to move lower and lower and lower and lower and lower and lower. So the point is, like, I don't see it anymore. So that's our excuse, though.

[Carrie]

But I get it. No, I do get it. I'm sure your focus was on so many other things, but how was it?

[Pat]

It was good. Shout out to Atlanta and Nashville.

[Mike]

Yeah. Yeah. That was a really good crowd. Two different crowds. I. I did not know. So what I'm learning now is there is a difference. Like, this is no shade, but there is a difference between audio listeners and visual listeners, because there's people that watch us visually and they know how we act. They know our mannerisms. They. They're more interactive because they already kind of know what's going on. And I would say that's more of the Chicago show, the one that's watched the clips, watch the YouTube. So they were kind of used to us. I was doing certain things in Chicago. They was like, there you go. He doing it again. Like, they watch.

[Pat]

They.

[Mike]

Then we went to Nashville, which was. I say Atlanta was more like Chicago, but Nashville was like, Gene, before the show, he was like, where the audio listeners at? And it was like the whole crowd exploded, like, 80%. So these all people that watch on Spotify, Apple, whatever they watch on, and they were just watching us the whole time. They're watching us with smiles on their faces the whole time. And when we asked them, like, interacting like things and questions, they looked at us like, what the fuck are you talking to me for, nigga? Let's see some podcasting. Like, we literally had to grab an albino nigga out of the crowd. I can't wait till y' all see that clip.

[Pat]

Jamaican. Was he Jamaican?

[Mike]

Jamaican albino. With a. With a St. Baby Mama.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

With a what?

[Pat]

St Baby Mama.

[Mike]

St Baby Mama. We won't discuss his other stuff going on. He said give him a shout out. I forgot his name.

[Pat]

I forgot his name.

[Mike]

Look like a sperm cell, though.

[Carrie]

He'll know who he is.

[TSA Worker]

No, he know.

[Mike]

I mean, he the only of his kind.

[Pat]

But it was dope. It was both shows, both Shows were dope. The different crowds, but definitely still, like, everybody enjoyed themselves, I would say. And it was. It's still weird meeting people in person and, like, us being like. Like, their day, you know, it's like, oh, it's almost like a celebrity thing. I'm like, I feel very regular. So I think a lot of them were like, oh, you guys are really down there. A lot of them were saying, we're taller than what they see.

[Mike]

Like, no, they weren't saying taller. Let's get this pause moment out the way.

[TSA Worker]

Okay.

[Mike]

Do not come up to us and say, man, y' all, way bigger in person. Just say taller. Just say taller, big bro. This is after, like, a handshake. Like, they shake our hand and be like. And look at us like, man, y' way bigger in person. Like, okay, let me hide my meat for the rest of the time. Gotta hide my meat for the whole episode.

[Carrie]

I was worried for y'.

[Pat]

All.

[Carrie]

When you posted about how you had to get to Nashville.

[Pat]

Yeah, we found a random Uber driver, Atlanta. There was no rentals.

[Mike]

Shout out to him. Do you remember his name? Pete.

[Pat]

Okay, I got Pete, man. I will never forget him.

[Mike]

No, I'll never forget him. I. I knew he was a good dude because when he put his arms above his head, the bottom of his belly shows. I was like, that's. That's a good. Right there. Jolly ass, though. But I appreciate you, Pete.

[Pat]

Okay. There's a. A podcast that Nikki Laser did with Call Her Daddy Alice Cooper, and basically she was talking about how she lets her husband cheat, I believe. So I guess it's not cheating to her, though.

[Guest]

I sometimes don't like to tell guys about this thing that I have where I'm like, you know, this is separate than the soulmate thing. Like, I don't care if a guy has a sexual connection with a girl. And, like, he was to use protection and just have sex with her for a night. Like, I don't. I literally wouldn't care if my husband did that. I don't. I don't know why. I don't know why. If he were to, like, watch the Wire with her or, like, do crossword puzzles or, like, text, like, send memes and stuff, I would be like, what the fudge are you doing? Like, that's our thing. Like, emotional cheating would hurt me, but, like, physical, I'm just like. I kind of. I just feel like I understand how sex is for men most of the time. Outside of relationship, it's just kind of transactional, and it's just like, they just want a nut. And it's not about, like, I want to spend my life with this woman. So it's.

[Pat]

I'm glad we have a woman on the pod today to talk about, to discuss this a little bit. What do you think about that?

[Carrie]

You know, I get her point, because emotional cheating, definitely, it hurts a lot more because you actually care about this person. Kind of like when a woman cheats, she's gonna cheat because she allowed for that man to get in her ear, right? So she allowed for him to tell her sweet things and make her feel like she's wanted and all that other stuff. And for men, I get y' all are lustful and y' all just want to bang, bang, booty, whatever, but I want neither one of them. We're not doing physical cheating.

[Listener]

We're not doing.

[Carrie]

What are you talking about?

[Pat]

Because I get her point as well. But I also think about that, yes, guys are. I would say it's just like, just sex, right? It's like very transactional.

[Carrie]

It means nothing to you.

[Pat]

But for the other girl that you're, that you're doing that with, that can then become emotional, because that's why I think a lot of women are more emotional in those sense when it comes to relationships.

[Mike]

I just, I just don't. I don't. I don't get that. I don't get why you want to be like, as a guy. I don't want to be with a woman that would even allow me to do that. Because now I'm confused. What's going on on your end. You telling me I can do all this and all that, you know, I'm saying, then it's just like, are you doing that? And then if you not and just like, like, what's wrong with you? Like, why, why do you feel like you're not enough? You know, I'm saying it's like you feel like you're. You're not enough, that you want to bring another woman on.

[Pat]

So her point, she later on said in that interview that she feels that when she's with somebody for a long time and that their stories kind of get boring after a while and she wants them to go out there and make new memories and new stories.

[Mike]

So she's a cuck.

[Pat]

But that's what I'm saying. But she said she don't want to be in the room or she don't really want to hear a distant cuck.

[Mike]

It's still the same.

[Carrie]

Giving him like a hall pass.

[Pat]

Yeah, A one way open relationship.

[Mike]

She Wanted them. She's one of those women that get off because their man. Because the dude is getting a lot. You know what I mean? Getting a lot in the streets. She's just weird, though.

[Pat]

But she's Nikki. Nikki Laser is also a comedian, so it's like she might want. That was like, I want to hear what's going on in the relationship world.

[Mike]

Yeah. So she might want to be single. Only want to fudge one dude, but also see that dude fudge other women.

[Pat]

But she don't want to see it, though.

[Mike]

I just think. But I just think there's a missing connection here. To me, there's. There's always a gateway for something like the. That just doesn't make sense to me. You want it just.

[Carrie]

Me either.

[Mike]

Just purely for the stories, like, do the nigga get to take a shower when he come home? Or are you like, you have to use a condom? Have to set what. So it's gonna smell like a NASCAR race.

[Carrie]

You would be surprised, like, how many dudes even in, like, the league, NFL, NBA, and how many of their wives give them these passes. They just don't want you to make them look stupid. So don't bring no babies home.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

And they just want to, you know, they'll stay for the money.

[Pat]

Sometimes I think I never have a problem what works for other people' relationship.

[Mike]

Yeah, me either.

[Carrie]

That's how I look at Will and Jada.

[Pat]

Yeah. If it works for them, it works for.

[Mike]

I got a problem with them, but everybody else I got nothing on. They just keep making it on my timeline. So this just be killing me, though. Not for real. No way.

[Pat]

What?

[Mike]

She in racial chat. Showing food.

[Pat]

No, I it up.

[Mike]

Showing food.

[Pat]

Showing food.

[Mike]

She in that racist room.

[Pat]

I started to have. I had a thought. Height surgery is gonna get.

[Mike]

Edit that out. Harar. I missed, bro.

[Pat]

No, keep it in. You know what you did to me. You know what you did to me, bro.

[Mike]

Keep it in.

[Pat]

Keep it in her and zoom in. Keep it in. And you know what you did to me. Please don't do it to me.

[Mike]

All right.

[Pat]

Height surgery is going to be way better in the future. Do you think there should be a limit to what height you can make yourself?

[Koni]

No.

[Pat]

So you think you can make yourself any height?

[Mike]

No, I want to see. I want to see everything. Like, I want to see somebody who's 4, 9 be able to go up to Wimby's height and see.

[Pat]

No, but I guess it's the proportion part, though. So I guess you don't really have a Choice.

[Mike]

That's exactly what I want. I want the same mistake that. You know, sometimes people who get the man, who get the BBL ABs and then the don't match the top part of their body and they look weird. The women who get they ass too big and they thighs look skinny as hell and they shit look like a lollipop. Yeah, that's like. I want to see people make those mistakes so I can laugh. Look at you, you idiot. You got T. Rex arms. And you're six' five. We know you were five' two before. Can't even make his bed.

[Pat]

This.

[Mike]

Looks stupid as hell.

[Pat]

This nigga's hands at his waist.

[Mike]

Nigga can't dig in his pockets no more. He gotta lean to the side. Stupid ass nigga.

[Pat]

Well, that's. It's kind of scary because it is gonna get, like. It's gonna get better. There's gonna be different things they can do.

[Carrie]

Be who you want to be. I'm tired. How about we just go back to being who we were born as? How about that?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

Why everybody wanna get baby?

[Pat]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Mike]

You gotta fix that. Yeah.

[Pat]

You have to say. You said born as.

[Carrie]

What do you mean? Like, if you're born four foot, stay four foot. Okay?

[Pat]

O.

[Mike]

I was like, wait, car. What type of podcast you think this is?

[Pat]

If you're born a boy, say your boy.

[Carrie]

Listen, if you were born 4 foot 5,

[Philly]

let go.

[Mike]

Say Carrie to the minor leagues. You just going to be doing straight to the Admirals.

[Pat]

We. We know what she. We know what you meant, but no,

[Mike]

we had to save you. That was no. That was no. That was crazy.

[Pat]

You.

[Mike]

You standing on business. Yeah. You got to be careful out here.

[Carrie]

Oh, my gosh.

[Mike]

This tweet says, hit me with the harshest reality. Truth. It says, after a certain age, your parents slowly become your children. They ask simple questions, repeat stories, and depend on your patients the way you once depended on their. Very few understand this role reversal. What looks like innocence or inconvenience is really time coming full circle. Don't correct them harshly. Don't rush them. Care for them the way they once protected you. This is not a burden. It is a repayment.

[Carrie]

I would agree with that.

[Mike]

That's the. That's probably, like, the only thing that I, like, truly agree with. Like, when it comes to, like, that's. I guess I shouldn't say the only thing. That's the first thing that I truly agree with when it comes to religion. Like, honor thy mother, thy father. Like, when I hear stories of people like, if their mom or dad didn't do anything crazy, abusive, or really tear up their life and they beefing with a mom or dad, I stay away from that person. Yeah, like, there's no way you don't like your dad. You know what I mean? There's no way you don't like your mom. And it get to like a certain age of just like, if it wasn't anything crazy, like, you wouldn't hitting your mom or your mom wasn't doing something to you, stealing money and like that. If it's just a regular situation and you're not cool with your parents, there's no way we can be cool.

[Pat]

Like, but there's, I guess. Where does that line draw, though?

[Carrie]

Yeah, there has to be a line.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

It just depends because like, like, say like your parents was stealing money from you or something.

[Mike]

When, what. How much. You know what I mean? Like, some of you ever heard somebody say that a lot. Like, my credit up because my mom was using my car. That little 500 ain't your credit up that bad. What about that eviction notice?

[Pat]

But I guess there is always a line, though. Like, everybody has their. Their breaking point. I would say.

[Mike]

No, I get that.

[Pat]

I'm.

[Mike]

I don't want to talk about the.

[Pat]

You're talking about, like, for a reason that you would deem petty, though.

[Mike]

Yes, yes, yes. I don't, I don't like. I don't like the pettiness. I don't like the, like, you know, some people leave their parents behind because we, in this new world, it's easy for us to. To lean into, like, the equality.

[Koni]

Be.

[Mike]

Love who you want to love. Be who you want to be. That's popular now. It's easy for us to be that way. So, like, we get on our parents for their beliefs, and it was easy for them to be that way back then. And I just feel like that's something to teach them on because I see somebody beef with somebody. Be like, oh, my dad's so conservative. I'm a liberal. I can't fuck with him. Like, no, it's your job to slowly teach him and not just get rid of your dad because y' all got different political views.

[Carrie]

Yeah, what if you don't want to learn, though?

[Mike]

It's your job.

[Pat]

That's.

[Mike]

That's what he gave you. How you think you got to. To me, you got to give the person credit. If you liberal, it's a reason why you liberal. He probably put you in the liberal college for you to even learn that he could have just took you to the meetings with him. What if he took you to the kkk? Exactly. You wouldn't be where you at. So I feel like that's the grace. You got to show it. Just like. Okay, but I'm mad you're still this way. But you did get me to where I'm at, so I'm going to show you a little grace.

[Pat]

I think I get what you're saying. I think for me, the effort would just become less and less over the years. Pass. Like if my. If my dad was, like, a super racist or something, Right? If my dad was just a super racist, right? It would. It would get to a point where it's like, you try to slowly teach. You try to slowly teach. You try to slowly teach. But I'm teaching for 20 years.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

Then it's like, okay, my teaching gets a little bit. I'm not.

[Mike]

I'm.

[Pat]

I'll always love them. Right?

[Mike]

That's the. That's the key right there.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Mike]

That's all I'm talking about.

[Pat]

Yeah. Okay. I get you.

[Mike]

You know what I'm saying? It's just like, okay, unconditional love. Unconditional love. Because we. We get to the point is like, my thing is, Mike's in this position too. No offense to your brothers, no offense to my sisters. Is like, we are the. Like, I wouldn't say chosen ones, but we are the most responsible ones. Like, we are the ones that are. Are blessed enough to be in this position. For some reason, people that I grew up with had to go through, like, different trauma. And for some reason, my ascension was a little bit smoother than theirs. And I got to where. So that means I'm lucky enough. So that means, like, when I have, like, these situations, like, oh, I don't like that my sister do this. I don't like. Mama, you bless enough to understand, like, what they're doing, and you're blessed enough to work your way around it. That's your job, my nigga. Like, your job is to take care of your family, not run away and be like, oh, since they don't believe in this, I'm done.

[Carrie]

Right? I could see that. You know, you gotta love them regardless. And if y' all just don't agree on certain things, then, okay, y' all end up just not agreeing on it. But certain family members, you gotta cut them off. I'm sorry.

[Pat]

Yeah. I feel like if you're not immediate family, then. Yeah.

[Carrie]

You not just gonna keep talking to me. Like, you know how some people say at the family reunion or let's say Thanksgiving or something, you got the auntie always talking about, we ain't gonna get your husband. We ain't gonna have some kid. No cutting you off. Why are you talking to me like that? Yeah, I'm not a kid.

[Pat]

How long have you been single? Who at that point, if that question is asked,

[Mike]

don't break our cameras.

[Pat]

No, I'm just about at the point,

[Carrie]

like, let's say it's five, seven years. And your auntie, every single year is like, when you gonna get a man? When you gonna. You know, it's like, come on now.

[Mike]

Then you got a teacher. Just be like, auntie, your man not. So I need to slow down and think. So one of us need to think. I need to slow down. Because you're like, you just rushed into this.

[Pat]

Exactly.

[Mike]

Look at this over here. He drunk as.

[Pat]

Exactly.

[Mike]

This is the type of.

[Pat]

You want.

[Carrie]

I'm all down for cutting somebody off.

[Mike]

But the thing about it, I feel like I don't want to say I'm lucky as a black man in America compared to someone white, but I will say they have, like, a liberal white person that comes from a conservative family is just, like, a bigger difference, you know? I'm saying, I told you, I just got to get my cousin to stop being homophobic. You know what I'm saying? It's an easier transition. Like, hey, bro, chill. We don't say those type of words no more. Chill. Right?

[Carrie]

Teach them about voting.

[Mike]

This. This girl that's in college want to date a Mexican guy and to go back home every holiday and hear her dad rip off five Mexican jokes. Like, she got to mend that bridge eventually, you know what I'm saying? So it just, like, it's a little bit more up for them, I feel like, because, like, old school white people, man, ain't nothing worse, right?

[Pat]

Have you seen Justin Bieber's Coachella performance?

[Carrie]

I saw clips and I was almost brought to tears. I'm not gonna lie to you. I was a believer growing up.

[Pat]

There was a lot of hate about it. So there was people on the Internet saying, like, this is how men can just do the bare minimum and still get praised for it. Like a woman can do what he did. And the reason they're saying that. Well, during Justin Bieber's performance, there was a point where he got on his laptop.

[Carrie]

It was the whole performance.

[Pat]

No, no, it was like, in the middle.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Pat]

So he had got on his laptop was on YouTube, and it was projected on the screen, and he was playing his old hits on YouTube. So, like, you see him searching it up. Like, people were cheering when they saw the song being typed before he even played it. So he's doing all these, like. Baby, all those, like.

[Mike]

Was he singing it too?

[Pat]

He was singing it too.

[Carrie]

He was harmonizing his younger.

[Mike]

So that's hard.

[Pat]

It was so tough to me because it's like, again, you grew up. Like, Justin Bieber is one of those, like, legends in the sense that he grew up and we're all around the same age. So it's like you actually were the same age when this nigga was popular.

[Carrie]

Yeah.

[Pat]

And you actually grew up with him, and he's still just as popular. I feel like he's the only one that could do that.

[Carrie]

And Soldier boy. But no, Justin's performance with the laptop, I didn't see anything wrong with that at all. Especially, like you said, he got. He got his start on YouTube like that, and he's been through a lot, you know, so for him to even be out in public and singing and comfortable, that's a big step.

[Pat]

And I think it's a privilege to do the bare minimum. I think when you put in the work, like, if. If Michael Jackson was still alive today and he got on stage and. And sat down the whole time, he wouldn't. He wouldn't. But, like, say, if he decided to and sit down on stage the whole time and wasn't dancing, nothing. Just harmonized song and it was like, so you didn't even have no music? No bad nothing.

[Mike]

Mike. Mike had women passing out, bro.

[Carrie]

Get on the stage and do nothing. And everybody was still screaming.

[Pat]

Exactly. First, before somebody says, I'm not comparing Michael Jackson.

[Mike]

I am. I got Beaver in five.

[Pat]

No.

[Mike]

Plus Michael Jackson all the time.

[Pat]

Let me chill. Why are you guys comparing Michael Jackson?

[Mike]

But you're right, though. I think that's the whole point of it. It's not the bare minimum. I hate when people, like, insert something that men and women don't matter. In this equation is Justin Bieber.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Bruno Mars could probably do the same thing. There's other people that have. It's like, about having the catalog enough to go back to when he was a teenager and show you, like, man, I gotta search this up. He probably ain't seen a video in a long time.

[Pat]

And I think the thing is that it was very relatable. And I don't think that's why. I don't think it was a bare minimum. I think it was actually thought out because the way people discovered Justin Bieber back then was through YouTube, you were typing it in. So to see Justin Bieber typing it in and YouTube, you see him clicking on his old videos like, oh, it's probably nostalgia nostalgic. As for the people in the audience as well. So yeah, I feel like people just complain about anything.

[Mike]

No, no, no. What I learned about especially Twitter because that's where we mostly see this.

[Pat]

Twitter is not a real place.

[Mike]

Yeah, it's not a real place, bro. And there's so many pockets of people in the world now that like tweets can go. There can be somebody on Facebook and they get a tweet or somebody posts a tweet on Facebook, you can search that person's name and go back to Twitter and go like this.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So we all these social media apps that are working in unison. I literally just seen like the anemic thing. There's like a, there's like a black, there's like a black woman that might have got murdered by her like white boyfriend and they found her. It's just like some weird ass evidence going on.

[Pat]

Blah, blah.

[Mike]

I won't speak on that. But there's a pocket of people that are just like, that's what she get for dating a white man. And the got like. And I, and I showed Mike and the got 6,000 likes, so. 6,000. And that would seem like back in the day if a tweet got 6,000 likes, there's some truth to it, there's some credibility. But you just got 6000 likes and 3000 are probably people that agree in the other 3000 are just be like, oh shit, I can't believe you just said that shit. And that's where I think majority of the likes are coming from. Nowadays people don't agree with opinions. It just be like, bro, I can't believe this nigga got that crazy of an opinion. I'm a hit. Like, because they like chaos.

[Carrie]

Yeah, no, that is definitely a fact. I, I hate because people feel a little bit more confident behind the screen regardless, you know, so they'll even say stuff that they don't really mean. That's why you got so many trolls out here now.

[Pat]

Like that's legit. Just trolls like this. The, it's just the ease of doing it with like no consequences. Like you said. They're not gonna, they're gonna say things that they don't even believe. But it's like I'm gonna say the most outrageous things to get these likes and to get these shares and stuff like that.

[Mike]

Sometimes people Just want responses and like that. Like, we'll see like. Like, you know, 500 comments of, like, people just focusing on a video, and then somebody will say something about one of us, and just, like, you wanted our attention, and then when we give you our attention, then you run like a little nas. Oh, no. I. With the pie. No, no, no, no, no, no. Stop watching the pod, you ass. You're bad, man.

[TSA Worker]

What's up with y' all boys?

[Pat]

Welcome to Crash. Emmy's podcast.

[Koni]

That's the word.

[TSA Worker]

Yes, sir. I was just at y' all live show in Nashville, too.

[Pat]

Oh, fire. What you think about it, bro?

[TSA Worker]

I was in the front row. It was. It was fire. It was fire, y'. All.

[Pat]

Honest opinion, like. Like anything you think we should, like, add to it to make it better? Don't worry.

[Caller]

I ain't gonna lie.

[TSA Worker]

I don't got no complaints.

[Mike]

No, petite, what was your favorite part? What was your favorite part, bruh?

[TSA Worker]

When this passed? Start crying. When. When that albino came up. Ain't no way this real.

[Pat]

That had me weak, bro. Appreciate it.

[TSA Worker]

But now I was in the front row. I had to. That kept telling me to uncross my arms.

[Mike]

Oh, that was you? No way. That's dope as. That's fire. No, that's dope as hell, though.

[Pat]

Appreciate you coming out, bro. I got a question for you. What's something you hate about your job?

[TSA Worker]

All right, bro. One thing I hate about my job is touching me all day, bro.

[Philly]

Pause.

[TSA Worker]

Listen, bruh. Listen. Pause. I'm at work right now, bruh.

[Listener]

All right?

[Pat]

Are you currently touching me?

[TSA Worker]

I'm not touching me right now.

[Pat]

Reveal what you do for a living, please.

[TSA Worker]

All right, I'm. I'm a TSO. I work for TSA, bruh.

[Pat]

Okay.

[TSA Worker]

the airport. Listen, Brad. Listen, bruh. So on our systems, right, bruh, like, when you come through the body scanner, y' all probably got preaching. If you got pre check, you cool. You just go through the metal detector, right? If you don't got pre check, you got to go through the body scanner. So if you go through the body scanner, if you got anything in your pockets, like in your back pocket, sometimes you got a belt on. If your ball is sweaty, you going alarm in the groin. If you alarm in the groin, we gotta pat down that whole area. Groin, buttocks, inner thighs. So you just backhanded me all day?

[Philly]

No.

[Mike]

That's crazy.

[TSA Worker]

Getting hot outside, bro. Like, sweating. I'm just backhanding me all day.

[Mike]

That's crazy. And the way y' all dressed up you the meat manager.

[Pat]

Go ahead.

[TSA Worker]

People be saying TSA stand for the sexual assault. Come on, bro.

[Pat]

I never heard that.

[TSA Worker]

No.

[Mike]

That's crazy. So you'll be doing it like, backhand, front hand?

[TSA Worker]

Nah, not front hand, too. Not front hand, but backhand.

[Pat]

That definitely happened to me. When I've gone through the scanner machine before.

[Koni]

Nah.

[Pat]

Every time for me, before I got TSA pre check was the. If I were big joggers, then it would always.

[TSA Worker]

Anything can do it, bro. If you got your jeans too thick, your joggers too thick, who make that?

[Mike]

But who make the call, though? Is it you or.

[TSA Worker]

No, I'm saying not a machine.

[Mike]

So you got.

[TSA Worker]

I'm not making the call, bro. Yes. The machine is to show you. It'll be like, boom. It's a red box over there. Me, whatever. You get that red box. You gotta search that.

[Pat]

Y' all ask those, like, do y' all want me to shirt you here, or do you want to go to a background?

[Koni]

Yeah, yeah.

[TSA Worker]

You can get a private screening.

[Pat]

So what are people using a private show?

[Mike]

How much they got to pay for that?

[TSA Worker]

It's a witness in there. Everything.

[Mike]

Oh, it's a threesome.

[TSA Worker]

You got it, man. You got it.

[Pat]

No wonder he was crossing his arm at the show. This was tireless. I gotta rest.

[Mike]

My wrist was hiding the back of that head. The back of that head got so much wear and tear on it, I can touch many meats with the. The avatar. Last big bender

[Guest]

was meat.

[Pat]

Be said.

[TSA Worker]

I'm just protecting our transportation.

[Pat]

We appreciate. We appreciate all the TSA workers, cuz. Y' all keep us safe, y'. All. So you weren't getting paid for a little bit then, huh?

[TSA Worker]

We still not getting paid, bro. They still owing money right now.

[Mike]

But you get checks that come through though, right now, right?

[TSA Worker]

No, it's propaganda breath. So we got paid. Some of it. Some of our back pay. We did get paid, but they still owe a lot of us money, and a lot of people still didn't get, like, what we owe.

[Pat]

So, like, when you guys.

[TSA Worker]

They don't know when we gonna get our next one.

[Mike]

That's crazy.

[Pat]

So when you get these, obviously, the TSA jobs, you kind of know, like, there's a risk of this happening with, like, the government shutdowns and stuff, right?

[TSA Worker]

Yeah, that's true.

[Pat]

I know. I'm just wondering.

[TSA Worker]

I'm not really tripping.

[Mike]

Like, it's espn, but, no, like, real life.

[Pat]

How do y' all prepare for that?

[Mike]

Like.

[Pat]

Like, is it just, like, saving money?

[TSA Worker]

Yeah, you really Got it. Like, luckily, I'm in a situation, so we're like, I got some money, so I'm not. I'm not tripping right now, but, like, people. And I don't got no kids. I don't got no girl. So it's like, I don't got nobody depending on me to spend money on nothing.

[Mike]

No, that's real. No, that's real.

[TSA Worker]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The people who really. It's tough because I'm.

[Pat]

We're doing, like, I'm doing well for myself, but I'm not gonna lie, if I miss two paychecks, like, if I didn't get paid two straight months, like, I don't care what type of. I'm gonna be. Like, now I'm like penny pinching for everything. But I don't know. Some people. Yeah, some people are good at saving for rainy days. Some people aren't. So you look like you're. You're in, but then you get.

[Mike]

Yeah, so what's your.

[TSA Worker]

But then people got, like, kids and stuff. It'd be different.

[Mike]

What's your message? What's your message to the government, man?

[TSA Worker]

Just give us our money, man. I can't say too much.

[Pat]

No, I feel it.

[Koni]

You know, they got.

[TSA Worker]

They listening to me as we speak.

[Mike]

I'm still in the airport, but I think you. I think you valuable to the company. You know what I mean?

[Pat]

It might. They might give you a bonus you start doing the front hands.

[Mike]

Yeah, a little privacy, you said.

[Pat]

What, bro?

[TSA Worker]

I didn't even hear you. Yeah, I got it, bro.

[Pat]

All right, bro. You have a good one.

[TSA Worker]

Hey, y' all come back to Nashville, bro. I'm in there. Or Atlanta. I'll be in Atlanta one, too.

[Mike]

We definitely gonna run it back in Atlanta. In Atlanta, maybe at the tabernacle.

[TSA Worker]

Bet. Bet.

[Pat]

All right, brother.

[TSA Worker]

I'm appreciate. Y' all boys. Y' all boys, hold it down. Yep.

[Koni]

Peace, Pop.

[Philly]

Yo, Crash Dummies, what's going on?

[Pat]

What it do?

[Philly]

How you guys been?

[Pat]

Pretty good. Yourself?

[Mike]

Good. Brody.

[Philly]

Not too bad. Not too bad.

[Pat]

Philly, I got a question for you. What's something you hate about your job?

[Philly]

All right, well, you all called me before. It's a six six. Starbucks barista.

[Pat]

Oh, damn.

[Mike]

Shout out to you. How you feel about that clip? Before you get into it.

[Philly]

Hey, Loki, I loved it, bro. I was happy to be a clip.

[Mike]

Yeah, we. You know, sometimes, like, a lot of people ask us to take a clip down after it already got, like, 2 million views. We don't Know what we could do with that. And, like, we, you know, we just appreciate you being in good sport.

[Philly]

Nah, I mean, I show my parents, I show my. My brother and, bro, everybody loved it,

[Mike]

but you still ain't. We told you to go back. You still got college eligibility, dude.

[Philly]

I promise. I promise. I've been back in the gym. I've been working my ass off.

[Mike]

Let's go.

[Philly]

I've been reaching out to colleges.

[Mike]

Let me and Mike give you, like, some training sessions. So we see, like, obviously, we not, like, the greatest basketball minds.

[Pat]

I give more workouts.

[Mike]

Yeah, we can. We could just see, like, the holes in your game, and then maybe we could just, like, get you a trainer. We know a trainer, Nate, you know, I'm saying we get you with him and then get you right, bro, for this next rhyme, bro. We're going to invest a lot in you, bro.

[Philly]

All right, I'll get you guys a huddle, Link

[Mike]

now.

[Pat]

You funny, bro. All right, I got a question for you. What's something you hate about your job up?

[Philly]

These drinks, man, they're getting out of hand, bro. Especially with this warmer weather, bro. People be wanting, like, extra ice in their drinks. And I got this. I got this regular. It comes through, they get a frappuccino with six shots in it.

[Mike]

Damn.

[Philly]

Yeah, that's like. It's like 2, 000 milligrams of caffeine.

[Mike]

What do they look like? Describe them.

[Philly]

It's literally. I mean, it's literally just like this.

[Koni]

This.

[Philly]

This brown, milky, like, cold concoction that I just gotta pour into this.

[Listener]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Mike]

What is the person ordering it look like?

[Pat]

I was concerned when he started with browns,

[Philly]

Dude. A lot of times it's the white.

[Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Mike]

Maybe we should have stuck with brown.

[Pat]

Okay, okay.

[Mike]

All right. The white women. The white women.

[TSA Worker]

Oh, yeah.

[Philly]

My bad, my bad, my bad, my bad, my bad.

[Koni]

You.

[Mike]

You literally are six.

[Philly]

International women's century.

[Koni]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You, I'm sure, you deal with. I feel like there's more women that go to Starbucks than men, so I feel like you shouldn't. That shouldn't even be in your. You know what I mean? And, you know, your co workers and the thing, too.

[Pat]

I think with the way you said it, too. It didn't sound like you naturally said it.

[Mike]

Yeah, it was. It sounds very forced white, but go ahead.

[Pat]

No, we're not gonna police the way you.

[Philly]

I mean, it's like. It's like. It's like the Karens, though. Okay, so, like, do they. Do they classify or how's that?

[Pat]

No, you can talk about Karen.

[Philly]

All right. Yeah, so that's what it is. It's the Karens. They're like, you made this wrong.

[Koni]

Blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Philly]

I need this remade. I want my drink for free.

[Caller]

Blah, blah, blah.

[Philly]

And it's just like, I want to throw it at them.

[Pat]

So you work at Starbucks, right?

[Philly]

Correct.

[Pat]

So what's, like, the worst drink, like, besides that one that somebody's, like, asked for, like, the most, like, complicated one, because I feel like, like, with Starbucks orders, people kind of like, start to modify theirs in different ways.

[Philly]

Yeah, I had somebody today get a hot matcha with three espresso shots in it. Dude, it was like this. This green, dark green, gray looking thing.

[Pat]

Have you ever said that you don't know how to make something?

[Philly]

Oh, yeah, all the time. I'll tell them. No, all the time. I've had people show me AI generated drinks off Facebook.

[Mike]

Do you. So do you hate when trends start, or do you like when trends start?

[Philly]

Because, oh, my God, they're so annoying. We just had. We just had this one trend. It was like this Hannah Montana drink or something like that anniversary. And they just did not tell anybody that was working at Starbucks that they were doing this collab or whatever. So we just had people coming through asking for the Hannah Montana drink, and we're like, what the are you talking about?

[Pat]

No, that's crazy.

[Mike]

No, that's actually crazy. So do you have to look it up on Tick Tock or some.

[Philly]

Yeah, like, I gotta Google these recipes and stuff. You don't have cake batter.

[Mike]

And do you know what's in the Hannah Montana drink for our listeners?

[Philly]

It is a strawberry acai refresher with pumps of raspberry syrup and raspberry cold foam.

[Mike]

What's up the rat? Is that her favorite thing?

[Philly]

No, she actually says in the show how much she hates raspberry.

[Mike]

Man.

[Pat]

Oh, man. All right, bro. You have a good one, bro.

[Mike]

Shout out to Miley.

[Philly]

Hey, you guys, too. Appreciate it.

[Pat]

No, I appreciate you.

[TSA Worker]

You.

[Caller]

What's going on, guys?

[Mike]

Welcome to the Dummies podcast.

[Caller]

Thank you, thank you. I'm glad to be here.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Pat]

Okay, I. I got a question for you. Why are you single?

[Mike]

Why.

[Pat]

Why are you?

[Caller]

I feel like K. Michelle. Like, I love them all. Like, I just have a big heart, you know?

[Mike]

I like that.

[Caller]

Don't laugh. I'm being for real.

[Pat]

Some people call that something else, but.

[Mike]

So you got a roster, so.

[Caller]

Oh, no, but I'm not loving on them all. I love them.

[Mike]

We're not accusing you. We're not accusing you of nothing.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Mike]

Okay. Do you got a roster, though?

[Caller]

Okay, so I used to. I used to. Because I was in a relationship for a long time, and, like, I was the breadwinner. Like, I was the one. It was long distance. I was traveling down there.

[Mike]

A long distance breadwinner does not exist. Go ahead.

[Caller]

You're looking at her. You're talking to her.

[Mike]

Yeah, okay.

[Caller]

We were in a relationship for a while.

[Listener]

Four years.

[Mike]

I'm not letting you get away with that. Like, what does a breadwinner, long distance look like?

[Pat]

Meaning, I think she makes more money out of the relationship.

[Mike]

But that don't mean breadwinner, though she might.

[Pat]

Like, for instance, she might be making more trips. Were you making more trips?

[Caller]

I was making more trips. I was making more money. I was making more everything.

[Mike]

Yeah, that's still not a breadwinner. They don't live together anyway.

[Caller]

Okay, then maybe. Listen. Okay, maybe that was the wrong word since you want to be technical. Dang. All I was trying to say that I made more money.

[Pat]

There you go.

[Mike]

Say that. Then say you just wanted to brag about.

[Pat]

Don't let Pat. Don't let Pat get you out of saying your words.

[Caller]

Yeah, like what?

[Pat]

Go ahead, Go ahead.

[Caller]

But no, I just gave a lot in our relationship. And so fast forward, he ended up breaking up with me. But I guess that was just like me getting out. Now I'm free.

[Mike]

Let's not glance over that either. Like, why do you think. Why do you think he broke up with you, y'?

[Caller]

All? Like, I can't even get to the plot because you over here asking all these.

[Mike]

Yeah, because we want to know who

[Caller]

we talking to towards the end of the relationship. Like, again, like, I will say, like, I checked out a little bit because me traveling, me, like, doing all this, and him, like, I don't know. He's like, oh, you don't? Okay, I'm getting too into it now. But, like, no, it's just, I. It took a lot out of me. And so I ended up going through his. Someone told me, go through that phone. I went through that phone on Mother's Day. Boom. He had some messages. Silence. He was talking to two other girls. And yeah, like, it was his co worker, and it was like, she was like, well, let me know when you make it. Say, make it safe to my dad. Like, hello. So, yeah, that was that. So he was mad that I kind of dragged it. I was like, okay, get up. I need to go shopping for my mom. Like, you Got to get up, get out. And so he's like, what's the matter? What's the matter? I'm like, nothing, nothing, nothing. But, yeah, that ended up coming out. I was like, I went through your phone. I saw the messages. Like, it's never been that good. So, yeah, he got mad because he felt like I was secretive. Mind you, you don't want with the secret. Like, what you talking about?

[Pat]

Slice of the loaf.

[TSA Worker]

Whoa.

[Caller]

Not too much on me.

[Mike]

That was the problem.

[Caller]

He didn't know how to handle it.

[Pat]

Yeah, okay, okay.

[Caller]

Y' all getting beside yourself.

[Mike]

No, you're right.

[Pat]

We're like. We're totally getting.

[Mike]

We just. We just had two bad phone calls, and this one's actually good, so we. We a little bit, too.

[Caller]

Okay, okay, I'll let it slide. I'll let it slide.

[Mike]

Appreciate it. Appreciate it. You let that slide.

[Pat]

So, okay, let's get back to the, like, original point. What do you mean by you loving them all now?

[Caller]

Okay, so, like, getting out of that relationship, like, again, I had gave so much, and so, you know, I'm not a man hater. Like, you know, I'm a Pisces. I'm a lover girl. And so I might see a little bit in you, and I'm like, oh, I like that. Oh, I love that. And so nobody really came across. I was a total package. But I got this piece from over here. This piece from over here. And so I was just living life. I'm young, I got no kids. I make money. Like, what, body tea? Like, come on now. Like, why wouldn't I be living like this? And I wasn't really leading anybody on because I'm sure they had other stuff going on, too, but. Yeah, it's like different flavors. Different flavors of the Skittles, you know? You know, like, how long.

[Pat]

How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?

[Caller]

I'm 26.

[Mike]

26.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

Like, what you do for a living. Like, where all this money coming from?

[Caller]

Okay, okay, okay. I don't want to be like, I'm, like, a rich or anything you said,

[Mike]

but, I mean, you say you made money three times and we never asked you, so you got to be rich.

[Caller]

Well. Well, I had to. I had to play. You don't understand about the past relationship. I got trauma. Okay, okay, Like. Like, I'll never do that again. But, no, I'm like, I do operations and contract management. I'm like, boom. Yeah, that's enough detail.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah, no, you good. Don't dox yourself. We believe you Make a lot of money. You keep saying this, so it gotta be true.

[Listener]

Anyways.

[Caller]

Anyways, stop trolling. Dance.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Caller]

I made more money than him, and I still do. But I think you're doing better now. But. No, but.

[Pat]

So.

[Caller]

But that's.

[Pat]

So where do you, like. Do you ever see yourself being in, like, a position where you want to be in a relationship?

[Caller]

And I'm laughing already. Like, when I answered, I already knew it was gonna come to this because y' all hate when people do this, but I've actually settled down, you know?

[Mike]

You're so annoying. So you let us talk all that and go through this, and you have a boyfriend.

[Caller]

Okay, okay. I have a boo, so. Yeah.

[Pat]

What is the difference between a boo and a boyfriend?

[Caller]

Oh, my goodness. I. We haven't. He hasn't made it official.

[Mike]

He ain't made it official because she made too much money. That's why.

[Caller]

No, shut up. No, because he makes good money, too. He makes the money.

[Mike]

Too much money for that.

[Caller]

I'm finally, like. I finally feel like I'm finding somebody. Like, we're on the same level. He looks good, treats me good. We're going places, doing stuff. Like, we're living life how we're supposed to be living it.

[Pat]

Is he the only one that you're loving on right now?

[Caller]

Yes. And I put that on me. Like, this is my booster.

[Mike]

Everybody behind me, nobody else getting hurt. Okay. Okay. How long y' all been talking?

[Caller]

We've been talking since January.

[Mike]

January. What month is it? January, February, March, April. So four months, you say?

[Caller]

Yeah, bro.

[Mike]

Four months. Like, do y' all see each other every day?

[Caller]

Like, damn near, like, five times out the week.

[Mike]

Five times out the week? Wait, he not seeing you on a weekend or something?

[Caller]

Yes, absolutely. You tried it? No, we do, like, Monday, Wednesday. Well, it can be like we don't see each other every single day, but just random days.

[Mike]

Do y' all sleep together those nights also?

[Caller]

Yes.

[Carrie]

What, you mean, like, in the same bed?

[Mike]

Yeah. How often do y' all wake up with each other off the week?

[Caller]

Like four or five. Whenever I go over, he comes over. Yeah, we're typically staying.

[Mike]

Okay, this. This sounds legit. Four months seem a long time. Like, I feel.

[Pat]

I feel like he should do that long.

[Mike]

No, I feel like this is right when he should be asking her. So, like, right about it should be coming up. Right? Do you feel like it's coming up?

[Listener]

I think.

[Caller]

I think so because, like, we kind of glazed over it, and I feel like he was like. Like, oh, you know, like, you mine. I'm like, okay. But, like, until, you know, it's like, hey, you want to be my girlfriend? Like, let's go to dinner. We do that all the time. But I'm just saying, like, the official night and time, right? We together. But again, until he.

[Pat]

Why don't you take the initiative and ask him?

[Koni]

Yeah.

[Philly]

Breadwinner.

[Caller]

Oh, Lord. Hell no. Come on, now. Come on. Hey, that.

[Pat]

You wear the pants, right?

[Caller]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't have to do that no more.

[TSA Worker]

No more.

[Pat]

All right, well, I'm glad things are going well for you, though.

[TSA Worker]

Yeah.

[Pat]

I hope it's still.

[Caller]

Yes, they're going amazing.

[Pat]

I hope that he finds the, you know, the courage to ask you out and. Or make it official.

[Caller]

I think it's there. I'mma let y' all know. Y' all gotta let me back home.

[Mike]

No, we got you bring. Make sure you bring them to the Cali show.

[Caller]

Wait, no. When y' all have it one for real?

[Mike]

She said, wait. No.

[Pat]

In the fall. In the fall? We'll be there in the fall.

[Caller]

Okay. Bet we gonna be there. I was already telling him about y'. All. I put him on the. Y'. All.

[Mike]

Oh, you told him? You told him about us?

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Mike]

What he say?

[Caller]

He was like, oh, I ain't never heard of them. I'm like, what?

[Mike]

No, that hating, bro. That's not. I ain't never heard of them before.

[Pat]

Okay?

[Caller]

He probably seen a clip and didn't even know it was y'. All.

[TSA Worker]

For real.

[Carrie]

Everybody know.

[Mike]

No, no, no, no. That hating, bro. He know her algorithm. He seen you watching us before.

[Caller]

He going to buy the tickets, and

[Carrie]

we going to be there.

[Caller]

So don't worry about it.

[TSA Worker]

Don't worry about it.

[Mike]

I ain't never heard of them before. You're dragging it.

[Caller]

Have a good day, y'.

[Carrie]

All.

[Philly]

Bro.

[Mike]

Yo, what's the word, bro?

[Philly]

What's good?

[Mike]

I'm pissed.

[Philly]

Damn.

[Mike]

Yeah, I'm pissed, cuz. We need. We need two more callers to, like, make the episode, just to be transparent and, like. Like the way you sound, it feel like we not about to get a good call.

[Pat]

Oh, my God. I got a question for you, bro. Why are you single?

[Philly]

All right, so listen, I'm not single

[TSA Worker]

anymore, but when I was single, I couldn't catch feelings, bro.

[Philly]

My lost relationship hurt me so bad that I couldn't catch feelings anymore. Like, I could find people attractive, but I couldn't care less.

[Pat]

I called you out, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah, I told you. Come on, now. What did Your last relationship do to you? What does she do to you?

[Philly]

It's not what she did. It's just how it ended.

[TSA Worker]

Yeah, it's.

[Philly]

It's more like the. The breakup was messy.

[Mike]

Well, just tell it. Explain it, bro.

[Philly]

I'm telling you. I'm telling you, it's not what she did.

[TSA Worker]

We kept going back and forth, and

[Philly]

there was a lot of argument.

[Pat]

This is another example of, like, our listeners, you know, Here. This one's making it just to prove a point again. I'm just. I feel like I have that proof of point, like, every six months for y', all, that the callers aren't fake, that we do get bad ones. We just do a lot of callers, and sometimes we get good ones, sometimes we get bad one. That was an example of a bad one. So.

[Koni]

So.

[Pat]

And I'm leaving in the pot. So.

[Mike]

I told y', all, bro, I know when a bad call.

[Koni]

Yo, what's the word? What's up?

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Pat]

I got a question for you. Why are you single, man?

[Koni]

I just keep cheating, bro. I got a passion for cheating.

[Mike]

Passion? Please don't say passion, brother.

[Pat]

Why? What would constitute as a passion?

[Koni]

Like, it's like, I just love the thrill of it. Like, when one girl just do me right. I feel like another girl could do better than another girl could do me better than another girl could do better. I'm just thinking about it, just making me feel good right now.

[Pat]

Are you in a relationship right now?

[Mike]

Hello?

[Koni]

Yo,

[Pat]

are you in a relationship right now? You said what? Are you in a relationship right now?

[Koni]

Relationship or relationship? Some. Something like that, but not really.

[Mike]

What's like.

[Pat]

Oh, my God, this is terrible.

[Mike]

Okay, okay. Do you love her at least?

[Koni]

Yeah, I love. I love all of them. All of them make me complete.

[Mike]

When you say.

[Pat]

It's called the puzzles.

[Mike]

When you say all of them, like, how many we talking?

[Koni]

I mean, it differs because sometimes I don't feel like talking to them. Sometimes they block me. So you know how that should be going? I don't, but it'd be like, differs. It differs. It differs. Like, right now I'm probably talking like.

[Pat]

Like, give us a range.

[Koni]

Right now. I'm. I'm, like, mixed in with, like, four or five right now. I mean, four or five females right now.

[Pat]

I feel like when you're cheating, you could use. I'm you. You could just say whatever you want, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah, they already know you're a scumbag, bro. Just stick with it.

[Pat]

So who's the, like, main? Because in order to Be cheating in order to be cheating.

[TSA Worker]

And I've just been dogging.

[Mike]

So you got your heart broke before. That's how you got here.

[Pat]

Wait, how'd you get your heart broken, though? Did you cheat again? Then she left you?

[Koni]

I mean, it's all like, was that. You know how like when you just cheat and cheat and cheat and cheat and cheat on female. And then when that one time she just cheat on you and it'd be like, damn, you really did that?

[Philly]

That.

[Pat]

So she cheated on you?

[TSA Worker]

I just couldn't.

[Koni]

Yeah, I just couldn't look at her like, damn you. You disgusting.

[Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Mike]

Hold on.

[Koni]

Just.

[Mike]

Just slow down. Go back to the female word.

[TSA Worker]

We lied.

[Mike]

We lied. Even though that's bad too. But what we want to ask you is how does she cheat on you?

[Koni]

Crazy.

[Pat]

Let it out, bro.

[Koni]

He basically, like, was just talking to a at work and just lied. And I kept asking about it because I swear my superstitions never lie. They kept like, my superstition. They never lie, bro.

[Mike]

Superstitious. Okay, go ahead.

[Koni]

They. They said. They kept saying, bro, this being sneaky at work. So I asked about it. She like, nah. So cool. I pull up the word and I just feel something different, bro. Like something different. Like the best. She just stopped. She just stopped doing weird. So cool. I found out she talking to a. At her. Her job. She fly out to her birthday. She. She acting like she. She out there with her sister. No, she out there with the too.

[Mike]

Oh, man.

[Koni]

Wait, why are you calling my mother?

[Mike]

Why you didn't go with her for her birthday?

[Koni]

Called my mother's life. Yeah, that with my other.

[Pat]

Oh, my gosh. This is terrible, bro. I'm not going to lie, bro. You deserve everything you got, bro.

[Mike]

Yeah, for sure.

[Pat]

That happened to you, bro.

[Koni]

Bro, but it's like we was locked in for like six years, bro. You don't do that, bro.

[Pat]

She was locked in. You weren't locked in.

[Mike]

You were literally with another girl. You were literally with another girl on her birthday.

[Koni]

But look, though, I gave her money to. To go spend on her birthday, so that's at least like, I at least thought about you. I did something for you. Ain't like I don't love you. I love you.

[Mike]

Nah, man, you. You up the dating world with this one.

[Pat]

The dating boy is crazy.

[Mike]

No, that they do.

[Koni]

I'm trying to find a good, wholesome wife, bro. I promise you, when I do that, I'm out. The game, the game, the game, the game. People throwing salt in the game. Game and females Want to be, bro. It's just weird today.

[Pat]

So none of the. None of the girls that you talking to right now, like, they're not wholesome women.

[Koni]

I mean, they hold some, but they ain't. Like, I bring around the family for family trips and bring around my dukes. No, I'm just cracking them, and they. They done.

[Pat]

So why don't you, like. I mean, it seems like you have the ability to get girls, right? You got, like, four or five right now. So why don't you go for the. The wholesome one?

[Koni]

I like hoes, bro. Like, oh, no, it's just. I love the hoes.

[Pat]

But you just said you wanted a wholesome woman to settle down.

[Koni]

Yeah, a wholesome hoe for myself, though.

[Pat]

I don't think those exist.

[Koni]

You gotta make them.

[Pat]

Okay. Yeah, bro, I have nothing for you. I'm not gonna lie.

[Mike]

It's like, yeah, YouTube, it sounds like too far gone.

[Listener]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You got to go on this path on your own, man.

[Pat]

How old are you?

[Mike]

It's your own journey.

[Koni]

I'm 26, bro. Might be 26 in two months.

[Pat]

Okay, okay.

[Mike]

All right, man. Just hope you turn in the corner. Hope you try to get, you know, a nice woman. You know what I'm saying?

[Koni]

Hopefully, bro. Hopefully.

[Mike]

That's all we got for you, brother.

[Koni]

I with y' all podcast, bro. I've been with y' all since, like, 22 2, 200 something, bro. I don't even know, bro. I've been with y', all, bro.

[Pat]

No, I appreciate it, bro. Appreciate the support, man, but just, you know, try to clean up the act a little bit. But, hey, it's your life. You do you. I'm not here to judge, but.

[Koni]

No, I appreciate that, bro.

[Pat]

All right, man.

[Listener]

Hello?

[Mike]

Hello. What's the deal?

[Listener]

How are you?

[Koni]

Good.

[Mike]

How are you?

[Caller]

Speakerphone.

[Listener]

I need to take this off for speaker phone or.

[Caller]

No, no, you said turn it off.

[Mike]

Yeah, because we can hear ourselves. Unless you got your phone.

[Listener]

That's how we be feeling on this side.

[Pat]

I think when you guys are on speaker, it makes it echo for us or for the listeners. But when you're not on speaker, it might echo for you, but it won't sound that way, and we don't care. For real, I got a question for you. What's something you hate about your job?

[Listener]

I hate how, like, just because, like, you want to make it far in the company, they want you to suck their political wee wees. Like, I'm not doing all of that. And half of y' all don't even be Handsome or single enough for me to be doing, like, if you were single, maybe if you were handsome, you got an even more likely chance for it to happen, especially if you're gonna plug me in with more money.

[Mike]

We're not talking about, like, a hypothetical blow job. We're talking about a real one. When you said that.

[Listener]

Okay, you're kind of both.

[Mike]

When you said that, I was thinking of, like, like, like some metaphor that you're talking about to, like, climb.

[Listener]

I mean, yeah, no, it's a metaphor, but it's honestly, like, it could be the truth, too, because, like, say, you know, it just ends up being your husband now. It's a win, win situation because he helped you get to the top of the company. Now both y' all at the top of the company all because you sucked his wee wee. But also, like, for the ones that. No, no, no, no. Some of them just be like, oh, yeah, kiss up to me. Suck my wee wee.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Listener]

They're saying this at work, more or less. Like, you can tell. You can. If you're in the corporate workplace. You can really tell, like, which ones would, like, rather you throw yourself or, like, kiss up to them rather than the ones who, like, see your determination.

[Pat]

No, I get the kissing up and the determination, right? I. I get the. The kissing up and the. The determination part part. But the sucking wee wee part is what.

[Mike]

Yes, that's the same thing.

[Caller]

No, it's just a different. It's a different way to put it.

[Pat]

I get it. Like, people be like, oh, that dude. Dick sucking. Yeah, you know, you gotta laugh.

[TSA Worker]

Exactly.

[Mike]

Laughing at your boss's jokes at. In the break room is different than sucking his dick. So that's what we're trying to like.

[Listener]

That's exactly what you're doing, though. No, it's the same thing.

[Mike]

No, it's not the same thing.

[Listener]

Unless you're actually. Unless you're actually.

[Mike]

That's what we're saying.

[Pat]

No, that's what we're saying.

[Listener]

It's not the same thing.

[Mike]

Are you. We're trying to make sure that you're not talking about that. Like, you're not actually talking about the physical thing of sucking your boss's dick.

[Listener]

I mean, see. Okay, I'm gonna give you, like, a little now. I'm about to be one of those. One of those listeners, but I'm gonna tell my business real quick.

[Mike]

One of those.

[Pat]

Listen,

[Listener]

I'm about to tell my business real quick.

[Carrie]

Go ahead, Go ahead.

[Listener]

Back when I, like, was in one of my first jobs or whatever, my district Manager was Italian, and he had a thing for younger girls. I was like,

[Caller]

I didn't expect.

[Pat]

Okay, clarify. You mean, like, of age, woman, Right?

[Listener]

Yeah, No, I was of age.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Caller]

I was 18.

[Listener]

So it was just. He's a creep because why are you anyways. But yeah, he was my district manager, and we just decided to do some crazy things one day. And then I found out he was married and had a baby on the way, so I was like, oh, no. So then I was, like, working, like, maybe 20 to 35 hour work weeks, but he was paying me for 80 hour work weeks, so I was like, all right, gang, I appreciate you. Don't do me like that. Don't get quiet.

[Pat]

What do you want us to say after that?

[Mike]

Yeah, that's like, you're a victim. That's not good.

[Carrie]

But he didn't do.

[Pat]

He didn't do nothing. But still, like, you guys didn't do anything physical, right?

[TSA Worker]

Right.

[Listener]

Does it work if I have the silence on the same end? No. I mean, yeah, young and dumb, but my checks are nice. I didn't know what was going on at that point, but I'm old enough to know now. Okay, no, no, wait, wait, wait. I got something. For the Raleigh callers to any Raleigh listeners that are males and singles, I want to see y' all at the Raleigh. At the Raleigh show. Like, come looking nice because we can probably go on a date after, like, what's good? How y' all doing?

[Pat]

I mean, we can. Yeah, we can bring you on stage and find you.

[Listener]

No, don't do that. Don't do that.

[Mike]

You don't want to do the dating show?

[Caller]

Okay, no, I'll do that.

[Listener]

I'll do that. Yeah, no, I'll do that.

[Koni]

Dang.

[Listener]

I actually gotta come looking cute now.

[Pat]

Dang. You want to come your best self.

[Listener]

Why would I. It's a chill event. I feel like y'.

[Pat]

All.

[Listener]

Y' all shows be, like, lit, but I can be chill.

[Mike]

We might switch you to the Charlotte show and give you free tickets to the Charlotte show.

[Listener]

I already paid for my Charlotte show. Why would you do that?

[Mike]

Oh, okay. So we might.

[Pat]

We might reimburse you.

[Mike]

Yeah, we'll reimburse you.

[Koni]

We'll.

[Mike]

We'll do it there if you want to come.

[Listener]

Wants to come with me to the Raleigh show?

[Mike]

Yeah, that's fine. That's fine.

[Philly]

We'll.

[TSA Worker]

We'll.

[Mike]

We'll figure that out too. We got you on that, too, but.

[Listener]

All right.

[Mike]

If you want to do the dating show, we'll reimburse you and we'll do like a small little 10 minute dating show, and we'll find you somebody in the crowd, maybe find you, like two or three dudes, come up and tell you.

[Pat]

Maybe a listener.

[Mike]

Yeah. Or maybe some listeners. We'll do some listeners.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Listener]

Okay. That'd be dope. All right, I can do that.

[Mike]

Let's lock in.

[Listener]

Bye, you guys.

[Pat]

All right, bye.

[Mike]

Oh, man. Oh, this is the important question I had. This is very deep. I need y' all to put y' all thinking caps on.

[Koni]

Okay?

[Mike]

I hate to get serious on this podcast, but I have to. Okay, the question is, if you had to be stank, which would you rather be? Pissy, shitty, mildew, or mud? Musty who?

[Pat]

Mildew.

[Mike]

Pissy, shitty mildew or musty? Mildew.

[Pat]

Mildew, I think. I think mildew is like one of those smells that you can. You can blame it on the environment that you're in.

[Carrie]

I don't even remember what mildew smells like.

[Mike]

It's like when you leave clothes in the washer too long.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Kind of like, oh, damn, I left these in the. I can't even throw these in a dryer. They kind of got that little, like

[Pat]

when you leave it in the Washington line. Yeah.

[Carrie]

I have to say either between pissy or musty.

[Mike]

Pissy.

[Carrie]

Yeah. Because if you pissy, you could just act like, oh, I just got some diapers, like some old baby diapers on my bag. But if you're musty, you can say you was working out, you just came from the gym.

[Mike]

Let me tell you something about musty. You only get like, okay, like, I worked out, which with you before. Right. I've smelled you musty before, but I've also known you you 13 years, and I've smelled you musty maybe twice in 13 years. Right.

[Pat]

Musty.

[Mike]

What the.

[Pat]

Can you smell me musty?

[Mike]

No, no, no, no.

[Pat]

But there's time. But I do sweat a lot, especially when boxing in the hospital.

[Mike]

You smell like. So my point was.

[Pat]

My point was, is that musty?

[Mike]

Mangy.

[Pat]

My.

[Mike]

You call it mangy, but my point is that you've had so many times when you weren't musty, you give that person grace. Like, I've been around. Been around you 13 years. And then some of those years we've seen each other every day. So it just like, it depends on, like, how many times I've seen you. Like, you still, like, you're not out of the musty range for me. Like, we. We've only, like, I've probably seen you, like, less than 20 times, you say in our lives, right. You gotta reach, like, 50 before you can have a bad day around me. Or I assume that musty is a part of your attire.

[Carrie]

I get. I get that you get what I'm saying.

[Mike]

If I was musty today, you don't know me. Yes. If I was musty today, you'd be like, oh, I only seen this 17, 18 times, and on the 19th time, he musty. So now I gotta watch this every three weeks.

[Carrie]

Like, hey, yeah, I was gonna say, like, if I found you musty on a 19 day, now you gotta go 50 more days. Days with not smelling mushy.

[Pat]

Exactly.

[Mike]

No, I feel you.

[Pat]

I think mildew is the way to go. What would you pick?

[Mike]

I think. I think mildew is the best answer.

[Carrie]

Okay. Y' all really got me out here

[Mike]

saying pissy and crazy. I ain't going to lie to you.

[Pat]

50 is like. It's like a strong aroma.

[Listener]

Strong.

[Carrie]

Maybe I haven't smelled pissy.

[Pat]

I guess it depends if you're dehydrated or not. Diluted piss might not be that bad, I guess, to be honest.

[Mike]

But. But. But that's. That's stupid.

[Carrie]

He's got a point.

[Pat]

Some of my multivitamins, I forgot what I take. But that. That will make my, like, neon green sometimes.

[Mike]

No, man. See that you need to get.

[Koni]

Check.

[Pat]

No, no, that's a different one. It's on the. It's on the alpaca, you know, Got villain pissed. I was scared the first day.

[Mike]

Oh, no. But, no, I think mildew is the way to go. Because mildew. Mildew kind of is linked to clothes.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Clothes are like something on you stinks. Piss is, like, from you.

[Pat]

There have been times shitty is from

[Mike]

you, and, like, musty is from you. Like, mildew is more.

[Pat]

There have been times where, like, I would say my shirt. Shirt smelled a little more like mildewish. Like the ones I actually like boxing day after day after day after day. And I have to, like, put in, like, white vinegar. You know, as you sweat a lot, you have to put it, like, soak. Do, like, a little vinegar soak. So, like, the. The little musk kind of disappears.

[Mike]

It is. It is. That's the worst feeling in the world when you have a workout shirt and it expire on you.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Like within that time because. And you don't know because it's like when you take it out the dryer, it's clean and it only get activated by sweat. And then once that sweat activated, you'd be like. But I don't get that though. Like when I. If I smell. There's been times where I'll be like, damn, my shirt kind of stinks. Yeah, my workout is over. Don't try to power through your workout. And you must see as. Because I'm looking, I'm looking for the euros. I'm like wondering who making euros around this.

[Pat]

It does happen though. Like the, the especially because it started happening more. I would say when you start. I started boxing. Like we both box. So it's like a different. Like your shirt is soaked every session.

[Carrie]

Okay, maybe that's a different type of musk.

[Pat]

So it's like a, it's not a sweaty.

[Mike]

Hold on, hold on now.

[TSA Worker]

Mangy.

[Pat]

It's just funny how words mean things

[Mike]

like, no, musty is like musty. If you call somebody musty, you better not be wrong. I know that because if you call me musty and I like, I, I, I'm not musty.

[Listener]

My.

[Mike]

I assume that you want to fight.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You know what I'm saying?

[Carrie]

Dang. Is that bad?

[Mike]

No, that's crazy.

[Carrie]

Hold this.

[Mike]

Okay.

[TSA Worker]

Damn.

[Mike]

She and Rachel chat room showing.

[Pat]

Oh my gosh.

[TSA Worker]

Okay.

[Pat]

I have a, a tweet too. It says, y' all relationships don't work cuz y' all listen to social media instead of your.

[Mike]

Say it one more time.

[Pat]

I said, y' all relationships don't work because y' all listen to social media instead of y' all or you're instead of your man.

[Mike]

Yeah, I would say, like, I would say social media does get people in trouble with expectations.

[Pat]

Yeah, expectation is, is a good one with everything.

[Mike]

Obviously, some people will try to take men and women do this. They'll want a traditional relationship, but they'll also want to be independent at the same time. You know what I'm saying? It'd just be like, okay, my cousin was calling me. She dating this guy who paid for everything. And that's what type of lifestyle she want to live. She want to have like a small little part time job, little gig, and she want to stay at home with the kids. That's the type of life she lived. He went to the club and she was already in a DJ booth. And the DJ booth is all packed and stuff. And when he touched the club, he texts her like, when I get into the club, you should come down from a DJ booth. Especially if, you know, I can't go up there. And she was arguing like, I ain't got to do nothing, blah, blah. I was like, that argument don't make sense. And she like, I paid $50 to get in this club. And just like, that's his money. You know what I mean? Like, that's your money. That's the teamwork that y' all paid. That's his money too. Like, bring your ass out the DJ booth. You are a take it woman. Come out of there. It's just like the. I feel like some people want to live traditional lives. Like. Like, guys do too. It's just like, oh, I wanna traditional stay at home girlfriend and stuff like that. And now you mad because she telling you to get home because dinner ready at 7:30. It's like, nigga, go home. That's the life you chose to live, nigga. If you want to live 5050 and get drinks with the guys, let us know.

[Carrie]

It's definitely. I feel like a hybrid now. Like, traditional and modern has clashed together. And I think people are just making rules on their own for whatever works for them. But quick question. You said the dude couldn't go back behind the DJ booth. What's up with that? Why he couldn't do that?

[Pat]

It.

[Mike]

Because he had no titties.

[Carrie]

Oh, okay.

[Pat]

That's the thing.

[Carrie]

I haven't been to the club in a really long time, so I don't even know how, like, the rules and stuff are. So the dude's not really.

[Mike]

That was in Detroit. I'm not sure how it works. Milwaukee is, like, based off more of connections, I would say. Okay, Detroit, like the higher end clubs. Women, women, women, women.

[Pat]

Hey, it's a good day to be an UN.

[Mike]

Good day to be UNC eligible.

[Pat]

Eligible males age 18 to 25 will be automatically registered for the US Military Draft starting December. Get ready, young. Get ready.

[Mike]

Hey, learn, amputee. Learn that language. Get ready to use your nuts. I can't wait to be at Starbucks with one of you starfishes. Like, yeah.

[Pat]

Oh, my God.

[Mike]

What's up with that Oak? No.

[Carrie]

Do you trust.

[Mike]

Do a cartwheel little.

[Carrie]

Do you trust for us to be defended by. Yes. Really, bro.

[Mike]

These are.

[Carrie]

They'll care for real.

[Mike]

That younger generation, them is so smart. Like, if we. If you. Bro, I'm telling you.

[Pat]

And they're more. I would say, fearless.

[Mike]

Yes, they.

[Pat]

They are smart as consequences. Don't like, like, really register? Just when I was 25, I feel like my consequences of doing things feel like it was like, way less. Especially when you're younger, like in high school, like, you'll do bad outside of school and, like, you're not really afraid of the police really arresting you and like all this type of stuff.

[Carrie]

So, yeah, they don't see consequences like anything that comes after with that. I just thought that they wouldn't really care like that.

[Pat]

What do you think not caring in like the battlefield would do?

[Carrie]

So, like, you know how nowadays they say a lot of the younger kids don't have discipline? So when you have a sergeant yelling at you during the training, getting you up at 5am screaming at you, I wonder how they'll react to that. Will they be like, who you yelling at? Like, don't be yelling at me.

[Mike]

That should never happen in the army because it's like the discipline is like easier, Right? These kids, we've seen kids like around Bayshore going back and we got a 14 year old going back and forth with a cop telling them to shut the fuck up. And it's just like. But the discipline, that cop, like the worst thing that cop can do is put them in handcuffs and then their parents come get them in the army.

[Pat]

Oh my God. I'll say that. Don't say that.

[Mike]

All right?

[Pat]

BLEEP that. Just believe that.

[Mike]

But they might. They might literally wait till you sleep and put coins in the socks and beat the out you.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You ever seen those movies on some frats, they put the soap in the socks and they beat the in the sleeve.

[Pat]

I think also you. They just start to conform. Like for me, and this is my Nigerian mention for today, I was in Nigerian boarding school, right? And I was. I was kind of a hothead. I was trying to fight with everybody. The first two weeks I was there, I was fighting everybody.

[Carrie]

Were you okay?

[Pat]

Okay? Yeah, I was. My parents kind of tricked me into going, so.

[Carrie]

Oh, so you were mad?

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah. You get like, you would get like whoopings in school and like that. So it's different. So I wasn't with that. So I was like fighting like the. You know, they would say like people in grades above you, you have to show respect to. So they were doing this random. So I legit was getting to a fight every week. And then by the time it's like you're there for like a month, it's like, bro, I can't fight every day.

[Carrie]

Like you been boxing?

[Koni]

Yeah,

[Mike]

The fight that some dude was in the comments saying he dropped you on your head. You said that was a lie.

[Pat]

No, he didn't drop me on my head.

[Mike]

Why, dude?

[Pat]

Because this is what. He was two grades ahead of me, right?

[Mike]

We know he was older than me.

[Pat]

Yeah, he was two grades ahead of me. So there was some fights that we did get into. That he won. You win some, you lose some. But my wins count more because he was two grades above love me two

[Mike]

grades, like an eighth grade and a sixth grader. That's a pretty big.

[Pat]

That's a big gap. But that's like. That's like, the maturity. And it was a small kid. I was like, in 8th. In 6th grade, I was probably, like, 70 pounds. In 8th grade, I was probably, Like, 100, like, 90, 98 pounds. So I was not a very big kid.

[Mike]

Tell that, tell that. Match up.

[Pat]

That's my guy, though.

[Mike]

No, no, no.

[Pat]

That's my boy.

[Mike]

I hate that bring up, like, oh. You know what I'm saying? It's definitely somebody, like, in Pontiac that, like, maybe like, seventh, eighth grade, that. That I fought, and maybe they can claim they won that fight.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Don't be telling no stories like that about us fighting unless you're trying to line it up again. Like, I don't want to hear none of that. Oh, man. You know the best feeling in the world? What is saying I don't know. To something you actually know a lot about?

[Pat]

Is it to avoid conversation, man?

[Mike]

To avoid convo, man, I don't run my social media, brother. I don't know what you're talking about.

[Koni]

Up.

[Mike]

What? Sponsors. We got sponsors. I don't know how to get sponsors. How the.

[Koni]

We do that?

[Pat]

She said you just doing that to her.

[Mike]

No, but we. We told. We told you. But I'm just saying, like, my. My favorite thing, especially, like, not in this podcast world. I feel like people try to pick your brain and they don't have anything going on for that information. So you're like, where the is my information going?

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You know what I'm saying?

[Carrie]

Like this asking just for the.

[Mike]

Hell, yeah.

[Pat]

Yeah. For the vibes, for the aesthetics, receiving information.

[Mike]

This, this.

[Pat]

This. The.

[Mike]

This the Chef at Texas Rollhouse. Like, give me my steak.

[Pat]

You might want to learn something different,

[Mike]

but I'm asking, like, you starting a pot? Nah, bro. I'm just really interested how the game go. Like, nah, bro. Information done, bro.

[Carrie]

They trying to see how easy it is to make money or not. That's really what I think.

[Pat]

I think it is that.

[Mike]

But that's also disrespectful to me.

[Carrie]

You know what I'm saying? Because it's hard work, bruh.

[Mike]

People be like, man, people be throwing a little slight shade me, like. Like, man, y' all got it. Y' all gotta down pack. All I gotta do is sit back and laugh at the callers. Like, bruh, if you heard some of these callers. Y' all wouldn't know what callers to put out there. Y' all wouldn't know. What is funny? Not all y', all, but I'm just saying, like. And we worked for the callers. We made the callers. How you think we.

[Koni]

Who call?

[Mike]

Who y' all think?

[Pat]

Just think.

[Mike]

Ah, man, Mike, somebody calling us in the middle of the pod.

[Pat]

What the.

[Mike]

Y' all crazy as.

[Pat]

No, some people. Some people's, like, their personality trait is asking questions. Like, but.

[Carrie]

No, but, like, guilty. I'm such an inquisitive little thing.

[Pat]

I would say. I would say I'm the same way. I asked a lot of questions, but I feel like we ask questions to get to a certain point. We're just inquisitive people. But some people, like, Pat was saying, it's like, it's legit. Then you ask like, oh, what? What? Why'd you ask? And like, yeah, it's like, bro, what? Especially when you gave a whole long explanation. It's like, oh, so you want to get into this? Like, nah, my. My brother, son, mother, somebody they're not even related to. Access to.

[Mike]

My mom watched Kev on stage. I really want to ask y'.

[Koni]

All.

[Mike]

How would y'. All. Why you not Pat on stage?

[Pat]

That's the question.

[Mike]

Like, what? I had a sit in between me and my mic before and look at both of us and be like, so who would you say funnier out of y', all, too? Like, I, like, that's the first time I'm gonna slap the. I almost slapped the. For a question. It's like, bro, like, if. If. When y' all meet me, like, bro, I want to talk about regular. Like, we already know, like, a lot about the podcast. Like, I want to know about you, where you from. And she, like, I actually want to know that so I can come on the podcast and talk about it. I feel like our meet and greets been great. Like, that people haven't been like, like, oh, what about this moment? A couple people have, but I get it.

[Pat]

And it's okay to ask, like, those type of questions. I would say, just DM me those type of questions.

[Mike]

Yeah, but like, bro, we. When we see each other, like, when we see y', all, like, we want to get to know you. You know what they like, how long you been watching the pod? Like, where you live at? You from here? Like, you got a job? You really that short?

[Koni]

That's crazy.

[Carrie]

But they probably want to really just get to know you. Like, you're they're meeting you for the very first time, and you're probably the biggest star that they have ever encountered, ever. So they want to know. So, like, man, y' all are awesome.

[Mike]

And we want to teach. That's. And.

[Pat]

But that's.

[Mike]

That's a lesson we want to teach them, though.

[Carrie]

It's just like, be regular.

[Mike]

You shouldn't be approaching anybody like this. Everybody is human. All these people are human. You shouldn't be like, oh, my God, I can't believe. No, hey, I respect what you're doing. I absorb your content. I with you. Hey, I with you too. Like, do you got some content? You know what I'm saying? Like, it's cool like that. Like, I don't think anybody. You know what I'm saying? Unless it's Cardi B.

[Carrie]

You don't want nobody fainting on you like they did Mike.

[Mike]

No, I would. I would literally pass out if Cardi B came in this room. I'm not gonna lie. When Cardi B is on the podcast, boy, y' all gonna have to turn down my mic. I'm gonna be laughing at every word you say.

[Pat]

You gotta sound like me during the podcast.

[Mike]

Say it again, Carter.

[Guest]

What'd you say?

[Mike]

What'd you say, cuz?

[Pat]

They just got here yesterday.

[Carrie]

She gonna be like, what is wrong with you?

[Mike]

I would do. I'm cry. Like, I'm gonna cry like that dude did when Krishan Rock showed him her song. It's like, shorty, I sent you a link, btw.

[Pat]

Nah, nigga's speaking in Africa.

[Mike]

I can't. I can't see you. Oh, I got a question before that.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Mike]

Name something you guilty spending money on and I. And don't act like y' all ain't got the answers. I asked y' all this an hour ago.

[Carrie]

Yeah, I got an answer.

[Mike]

I'm exposing for me.

[Carrie]

Peace, inconvenience.

[Pat]

That was my answer.

[Mike]

That was my answer. I hate these type of.

[Pat]

In the class.

[Mike]

I was about to say 257.

[TSA Worker]

No way.

[Mike]

He got a calculator or something. What you mean by that, though?

[Carrie]

Like, anything that cost me a piece. Okay, I'll give you an example. So I went to the Chris Brown concert back in August, right? It was at Wrigley. We ended up buying a hotel right across from Wrigley because we didn't want to have to deal with Ubers and just all that stuff, right? Obviously, the hotel is going to cost a whole lot of money, but I'm willing to pay for that, for the convenience and for the Piece of. Not having to worry about traffic and Ubers and drive. Like, it's just too much for me.

[Pat]

It's like.

[Mike]

But what. Okay, can I ask you one more question?

[Pat]

Go ahead, go ahead.

[Mike]

What specifically? Like, rank them. Like, what's your number one that you like, I'm paying for this. Oh, like, out of everything that's kind of vague.

[Carrie]

Like, see, now I gotta think.

[Pat]

Okay, no, I was gonna say, like, if money makes anything, like, faster, easier, or closer.

[Mike]

That's still vague.

[Pat]

What do you mean, rank it?

[Mike]

So you want me to rank mine? Let me tell you my number one. Yeah, my number one is parking.

[Pat]

Okay?

[Mike]

I don't give a. If it's 68.

[Pat]

I care. I care about parking.

[Mike]

No, yeah, you. That's what I'm saying. I don't care about parking. Like, I'm not the person. Like, I'm not about to drive around and follow the same Subaru and then we both looking for two parking spots. And I know that I gotta wait on him to find a parking spot because he. In front of me in the lot. No, I'm about to go park right next to the venue valet. My.

[Pat]

I would say 70.

[Mike]

It's whatever.

[Pat]

I would say easier. So, like, if I get a flat tire on the side of the road, right, I'm calling AAA or I'm calling whatever toll place can get. What. I'll call five places, and whichever one said they can get there first, I'm going with that.

[Mike]

We losing recipes. Why?

[Pat]

Why, why, though?

[Mike]

No, you.

[Pat]

Look, I just moved, right?

[Mike]

I moved.

[Pat]

I moved, and I had somebody come and mount my TVs.

[Mike]

That's not bad. Mountain TV. Because you can up your walls and. But. But the change of the tire. Let me say. Let me say this to.

[Pat]

To you.

[Mike]

You don't ever have to change a tire. Yeah, I just need you to be pretending like you was about to change it yourself right before you see AAA pulling down that road. Go ahead and put that. I'm glad y' all here, man. I was about to turn this.

[Pat]

I'm gonna sit in the car, turn on YouTube, and wait till whoever gets there first to tow my car.

[Mike]

No, that's crazy. Do he get to smack you in your ass when he does?

[Pat]

Nah, nah, it's not.

[Mike]

That said I can't change, but I'm capping, though. I'm not changing the entire. Not right now.

[Pat]

No, it's way quicker.

[Mike]

I'm not going to lie. And I got like, a. A foreign car. I don't want to. Nothing up. We got Tire. You know how? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carrie]

Okay.

[Mike]

I can.

[Carrie]

Some guys don't know how.

[Mike]

I used to have a Pontiac Grand Dam and you would thought I was a mechanic or something. I'm talking about. I used to fix that.

[Pat]

Not off the top of my head. I will figure it out though.

[Carrie]

Yeah. Like you. You know.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

I can figure it. I don't know how to change my own oil, but I can you. I bet you if I youtubed it, I could change my.

[Mike]

I hope you're not speaking in cold. You gotta be careful.

[Pat]

This not Blue Mountain State. That's. That's a. A crazy pool.

[Mike]

I feel like I said this tweet before, so I'm.

[Pat]

I'mma play your video though.

[Mike]

Stop selling them phones that's wired to the federal government. That's number 10.

[Listener]

Okay.

[Mike]

Have a good day. Ah, a good day. Hey yo, my outlaw. Switch these. That was like a homeless man that walked into a phone store and said that. And it's just like, it's. I always say this about like conspiracy theories. It's like they're up because the first people that get a hold of conspiracy. The conspiracy theory, we're looking for that conspiracy theory. And that means they're crazy as.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So sometimes like. Like somebody will be correct about a conspiracy theory, but they're just like way too early and way too crazy. And that actually pushes like the conspiracies. Conspiracy down a little bit. And it's just like, damn. It's really hard to believe because a person is coming from. You know what I mean? If a president said those same words, a former president, former CIA agent, it would be taken a lot more serious.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Because I actually believe.

[Pat]

Dude, definitely the messenger is like the. The. It's always the. The difference.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

You know, you'll lose credibility fast.

[Mike]

Yeah. But I think that's a good way for the government to always be like relevant in like hiding. You know what I'm saying? Because if. If a person is saying it and they'd be like, damn, this person owned to something. Let's slip some crack into his lasagna and make this a crackhead.

[Pat]

But I just. The conspiracy theories about like the government listening to us and our phone listen to us, it's like, yes, it's happening. There's nothing you can do about it.

[Carrie]

Here we go.

[Pat]

There's no. I'm just. There's nothing we can. I feel like some people try to do things to like make sure the government isn't listening to them. Like they're listening. There's Everything.

[Carrie]

They're forced.

[Pat]

You just got to be. So, like, the only thing I do is, like, I put like a little. Little webcam cover. That's like the. The best I can do.

[Carrie]

Okay, well, you got one on your phone.

[TSA Worker]

No.

[Mike]

Plug your ears so I can tell you what I do. There can be mu.

[Carrie]

Her.

[Mike]

You can't hear me?

[Carrie]

No, I can't hear you.

[Mike]

Put the webcam. Sometime I smack my meat on it. Cuz I'm like, you going to what,

[Carrie]

one day you going to pop up on the Internet?

[Mike]

Oh, my God. You want to spy on a.

[Koni]

Oh,

[Pat]

now we got to end there. Oh, my God.

[Mike]

You want to spy on a.

[TSA Worker]

We keep.

[Pat]

Keep ending with. On like, the craziest.

[Carrie]

I have a question. Did y' all see that Chris Brown and Usher are going on Twitter?

[Pat]

Legendary.

[Mike]

Raven and Brown, R and B. That's just so tough.

[Pat]

Legendary. Legendary.

[Mike]

Yes.

[Carrie]

Are you letting your girls go?

[Mike]

No, not near them. Like, she gonna be getting grinded on and she might get a cherry in her mouth.

[Pat]

We might sit far away.

[Carrie]

Yeah, I went to the Usher sh Show in Chicago. It was like two years ago now. And he came walking. It's such a. I got it on my Instagram. Check it out at Kierani Underscore. But he was giving the cherries to the couple right next to us because they were married and it was a fun time.

[Mike]

He gave it to the guy in the woman.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Carrie]

No, he gave it to the guy to give to the woman because he said, listen, y' all are married. I don't want to mess up anything.

[Pat]

I feel like. I feel like Usher is pretty respectful with it.

[Mike]

He wasn't at first.

[Carrie]

Yeah, he wasn't first.

[Mike]

No, he wasn't at first.

[Pat]

Maybe that's the clips I wasn't seeing.

[Mike]

But then he started like. Like, I think once he saw, like, some of, like, breaking up some homes.

[Pat]

Yeah. There is a respect, and it comes with the cherry in the mouth thing because as a guy, you can't. No matter how you react in that situation, if your girl's getting a cherry put in her mouth by Usher, it's like, there's no winning that situation.

[Carrie]

Do you still go home with her?

[Pat]

You act out. But I'm just. No, but if you act out, I do. If you act out in that moment, like, it's like, why are you trying to, like, fight Usher?

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah.

[Pat]

You know, and then you let it happen. It's like, dam. You let that happen.

[Mike]

But I feel like it's also a power thing, and it just like no offense to Usher, but that's him taking advantage, right? So you put my wife on a Jumbotron and then you're playing one of the best songs ever made in R B history in the background, and then you hold a cherry over the top. You know what I mean? And you, like, you make her make, like, a. A crazy decision in front of everybody. You know what I would do if, like, Usher was putting the cherry next to my girl? I would leap up and bite at myself.

[Pat]

Spit it. That is crazy. Triple H. It

[Mike]

just take this whole box of chase.

[Pat]

I'm definitely slapping the cherry out.

[Carrie]

Like, live like this.

[Pat]

Like, come on now.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah, that be tough.

[Pat]

Yeah, I have to do it before my girl has a chance to react to it.

[Mike]

That's true.

[Pat]

Cuz if she reacts to it, to do it, then it's like, oh, she was already gonna do it.

[Mike]

Right? You're right. You're right, Em. You're right, you're right.

[Pat]

You gotta be quick with it. Once you see him in the vicinity, like, you have to, like, be ready to do something.

[Carrie]

Y' all better talk about that before you get up in there.

[Mike]

No, no, I ain't talking about it.

[Pat]

Because I, like, respect. Like, my girl wouldn't do that.

[Mike]

Like, my girl wouldn't either, but I. I would like to see if she does. I'm not into the. I hate people that stop they partner from doing something that could affect the relationship. I'm, like, very into. Let me see what you naturally do, because I don't want to marry nobody that would just take a cherry. Like, I gotta tell you to not eat this cherry. Yeah, what else I gotta tell you to do not to. When does it stop? Wait, wait, wait. You chilling? Please don't him. Okay, baby. I won't. I was just about to. Thank you for saying it. Is so crash.

[Pat]

Usher, Chris Brown, invite us to the. The shows. Any. Chicago, Milwaukee, wherever, y'.

[TSA Worker]

All.

[Mike]

No, for real, y'. All legends, bro.

[Pat]

Wherever. Whatever show y' all invite us to, we're gonna be there, man.

[Mike]

Whatever. We'll sit all the way in the back.

[Koni]

Anyway. That's been crazy.

[Pat]

Shout out. What? You gotta shout out.

[Carrie]

Yes. What's up, y'?

[Koni]

All?

[Carrie]

Okay, follow me on Instagram at Koni Underscore. Make sure you tap into Brain Squeeze podcast everywhere. You get podcast.

[Caller]

Yes.

[Carrie]

It's daily, so.

[Pat]

Yes, y' all gotta tap in.

[Koni]

We.

[Pat]

We gonna be. She's gonna invite us. She. The other thing. This is why car's fake. She hasn't invited us on her podcast yet. We do podcasting and she hasn't invited us on podcasting.

[Carrie]

Well, I'm not now. Cuz he's over here saying he don't want more than three questions about himself.

[Pat]

No, no, you can invite me.

[Mike]

Don't, don't, don't, don't interview me. Let's, let's. Let's joke around.

[Pat]

Please interview me.

[Carrie]

I'll interview you. He ain't gonna come.

[Pat]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

Pause.

[Carrie]

But all too much.

[Koni]

Are we.

[Mike]

Are we? So, like, how many episodes you gotta lock in to get invited to the wedding?

[Carrie]

If there's a wedding.

[Mike]

Oh, oh, you might do it.

[Carrie]

Like, yeah, like, maybe I'll talk about that on the next one and y' all could tell me if you think I should have a wedding or not or if we should just go to the courthouse.

[Mike]

Got it, got it, got it.

[Carrie]

I'm not gonna listen to what you said.

[Mike]

What you start doing so we can get. So we make sure people tuning in start dropping Easter eggs on your pot. And then if they find the Easter egg, then we might send out a free shirt.

[Carrie]

I like that. Let's cook it up.

[Pat]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Mike]

Let's do it.

[Pat]

Appreciate y'.

[Koni]

All.

[Pat]

Live shows. Crash, dummies, merch, all that jazz. Come on.

[Mike]

Live shows. Live shows pop out.

[Pat]

Philly, Baltimore, by the time they listen to us, are they. Baltimore would be. It's today. Baltimore is today.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah. You can still get your ticket.

[Pat]

Everybody can get their tickets.

[Mike]

Everybody still get your ticket. Philly, Baltimore, and Boston. Something will be there. Tickets are very, very low. Like, we're. I think it's like, no cap. Huh?

[Pat]

I think it's a hunt across, like, all three.

[Mike]

No cap.

[Pat]

Yeah, okay.

[Mike]

I heard no cap in a minute.

[Pat]

That's true. And I said it like a Republican.

[Mike]

No cab, actually. But across all, we're gonna get more kids in school. No cat.

[Pat]

I think across all, like three shows that week, there's only like less than like 60. 50 tickets left.

[Mike]

Yes. So in New York, the first show already showed sold out. And then we got. The second show is already halfway through. Yeah, halfway through.

[Pat]

So be quick.

[Mike]

Good luck. And we inviting, like, extra people. So, like all these venues, we have like friends and family package. So once they get to like, only 20 tickets left, we're probably going to say it's sold out because we got to get our musty ass family. And Plug is going to be at the Philly show. So make sure y'. All. Somebody bring that some ax.

[Pat]

Oh, my God, y'.

[Carrie]

All.

[Pat]

Peace.